from tracheotomy strout the state now how did the f.b.i. find out about this well three employees ratted out the hospital and worked with the f.b.i. to make a lot of incriminating voice recordings these people risk their jobs and possibly much more to do what was right and i salute them reading out evil is no wrong deed but that's just my opinion. this is for headaches this is for sleep this is a tranquilizer too if i have any episodes xanax because the blackout substance it's not just. the kind of which is present nightmare because. you can't get off of it. and build it is kind of you can just go out there for me because sometimes i have episodes where i won't be able to. i think something will trigger me and which i'll just keep on working and working and working or live. like seventy two hours just

so exhausted. and i can take and build. a show out for. three months and thank you very much. different that you gave me i could have made a lot more money out of it i wanted to i just it depends on what we're going to. be kept saying on the news that there were rebuilding iraq your words into little rock . i was kind of sick of hearing c.n.n. and fox news like barky each other about once a. know the horrible things they are i and i kind of wait to see it for myself you know. i joined the military when i was a teenager nineteen in basic training. like halfway through my tour i told my unit that i was willing to kill any any

human beings. i start major said. ask him this one question are you willing to do your job if i was a say no it would have been like oh this guy's be insubordinate throw in jail you know i mean so like i came to conclusion like they're basically enslaving we here i have to say yes you know i'm actually walking the town with a rifle but instead of using the camera. this is one of the girls and it's her town one boy it they don't know where one of the other bullet hit a little girl on the shoulder and she ended up dying from that shoulder injury it was the last leg bit a happiness i had i was who a breaking point i was i was you know near suicidal yeah.

and during that period they saw me to a chaplain i sat and talked to a chaplain for about two hours and he tried to basically convince me that killing so thank. you for your in that situation where you're having that struggle you're going on that show i will yeah and one of my going to well i'm going to call my mom in tow i don't struggle with that stuff i would be bawling her eyes out you know i mean like who am i going to talk to about it you know i mean. well.

i just had my first last december and she went to see section and panic she was frightful but i was completely calm. i don't cry when he was born i was just completely like. kind of like i had to get a mission. maybe i should've cried to my dad told me i would but my dad hasn't seen the things i have seen a lot. and from all the

combat i've seen soldiers that i've lost over time it gets easier that's the thing that frighten me the most. if i killed the enemy. i don't feel it anymore. it's harder but i am happy even to be an army wife because not a lot of people get to do it it's definitely a privilege and an honor being married to someone he serves the country so. it's not an easy lifestyle. and i had family members who were in the military so i knew he was going to be gone i knew i was going to be home alone a lot you know from a dog. but you know i was. no i just

turned nineteen in the picture and i was you know i just graduated college. went off to get married. this was the day he came home i did these on my phone so they're kind of blurry but this was when he came home it was just he kind of just wanted to sit for a minute and just like i think soak in the fact that he's not there anymore he's back in the mainland he's able to just breathe and not worry about any thing exploding behind him. you know. you're. here. this is a reef that i made when my husband came home from deployment the material that you see here is what they call a c u from their uniforms. he wore these were actually his pants and he wore them

in iraq so when he came home i just thought it was kind of symbolic just to make this wreaths you know to show he made it home so next time he comes home from another deployment i want to make another one. first time when he came back it was it was scary. there was a lot of rage there's a lot of anger a lot of hurt and. he drank a lot. my husband used to be one of those people who are suicidal thoughts you know. he talks a lot when he's drunk and he'll talk about the words kind of ramble on and i let him ramble.

i was going. you know. if. whatever. he leaves again this summer and there will be a second plane. and he's gone for anywhere from twelve to fifteen months at a time. did you ever feel the falcon was a record and i still think. you need to do that before you leave. we know for sure he's going to iraq. that can change any minute he can go to afghanistan and kind of hoping he stays in iraq it's safer somewhat savor.

from. here close. your gloves. give your breath. all you can. get. and for breakfast i was about and i usually make him breakfast in the morning but he got home kind of late today so he's probably going to go to the de fact which is the cafeteria. is hard some. mornings like this. i'm

sorry. it's. not easy morning and usually. or it may. or in the middle of the day. just he's so busy right now where the training schedule. and getting ready to leave so he's got a lot of stress on em. i want a baby before he deployed speakers if something were to happen god forbid i would have got part of him here with me.

being a. little boy's. cohesion. some with direction normal teenage thing. i see people trying to find their way and a very wicked world. it's like leading the lambs to slaughter you know they don't know. do i admire them and respect them and have great pride in knowing them and in ten thousand yes now i want to cry sorry because they.

they have extremely good intentions in defending freedom. on our respect generations that america was founded on but i think that maybe they're slightly this. so how it's hard for me it's hard as a mother you know because i think my kids so. if. i.

twenty two years old. and i must kill thirty people. the same thing that you were given badges for in iraq you know you would have you considered a serial killer over here and that's you know that's a very weird thought to have running around in your head. in the morning you know it's very easy to sort of think bright happy thoughts and sort of put a correct kind of. spin on it but when it's dark. going to sleep or late at night or tired it's not as easy.

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our big teeth dog called.

i won't go more than three minutes without saying about iraq it's. always there. you hear the roadside bombs i've had twelve of them. partially my vehicle off times . when an id goes off you react in ways you think are right at the moment. and when it went to hit our vehicle.

activists for i heard my gunner start firing which to me means he had a target my gunner was very good he wouldn't make that mistake. and i jumped out of the vehicle and i shot a shot three people before any of them realized what was going on and they started running from us and i shot i think two more before. before my driver grabbed me and he said would be doing. and. that's not me out of it now realize that i was shooting at people because they were there. this one as my grandfather in vietnam is a pilot was nameless six months. my first

trip to iraq was only six months so that's a year my second trip to iraq was a year the trip to afghanistan was a year my last trip was fifteen months this was a dream. is to. me i'm oldest boy whose mom. and. my mom are somebody. i'm very proud that i have been in the military i'm proud that i've been to war but however good people do get hurt and i've hurt good people. and. there's a reason i'm getting out of the army retired cop that's the reason. i have a. chronic p.t.s.d. post-traumatic stress disorder. to be honest with you i just got out of a mental institution a couple weeks ago. i was there for thirty

days. to help me with my p.t.s.d. . and it's from the stuff i've gone through for the stuff i've done and iraq. how serious just because we go to live in the institution the producers. all the people in that place with me they were all military. everybody else there except me had tried to kill themselves i was getting ready to go kill other people when you get ready. to get in my car and drive up and start killing people. instead i grabbed my wife and we drove up to the hospital how do you know are you getting ready to kill people. because the thoughts just kept going through my mind

and i was making my plan. at the time it was i had a problem with people being happy because i. am not happy most of the time. so are going to drive down the road here and find the first person i saw that looked happy in the house as. far as going to start with them. i was either going to shoot them but i doubt that i probably would have just beat them to death.

yes. i don't go places. where you return or stick to those house or our family that's a. cave that i'm familiar building. the church is one place i don't feel i have any symptoms. lately from both the church. down though i still have my gun on me yeah i did a. church. because a radical person where they're likely to strike. while the most

vulnerable target which would be the church because who would have an entire profession in charge nobody but me. the worst one for me was cleaning out other people's brains. and i can deal with shattered human remains like pick up someone's heart. the brains are different because it's. you don't know if you're hauling in pieces someone's memory from their kid or. you don't know if you're holding a piece of their members being married remember that you're holding a piece that. and that that was them being soldiers don't know and

that's that's the worst for me. because all i want to own you boil it down all this the rest of this is nothing but meat and bone and. but people don't want to have conversations about that they want to buy you a beer and give you a clapper and shake in the airport and be on their merry way you know. it puts a strain on my marriage for sure. a lot of marriages have been around because the watch just don't understand and don't have the capability of understanding and you know their husband gets home and they think well the husband going to help me discipline the kids and take care of kids but he end up with tears three kids and a grown ass man we've been in the corner drunk off as cradling a gun. no one teaches anybody how to deal with it you know and it also gets back to the in the military it's the john wayne mentality of if you don't show emotion you know allowed to admit that you're sad or upset or anything ever it's

not manly. i don't let myself to become upset because when i do i don't get a little upset i get stage five defcon want to upset like at the world and i just don't trust people at all. i get really. people. do it when i do that no. and i tend to yeah. temptation is their.

way and you know. they love.

a. mole. oh and. i'm honored to be here today today in the presence of world formation and those book i'm sure they were not forgotten. about remembrance for those who have sacrificed so much. and will fight. for me to our nation has made a world of pain and i'll have a son is the not this great nation the opportunity to enjoy the fruits of my sacrifice. i can think of nothing more honorable than serving your nation. our military and their families have provided a point you will recall that no other nation. since the heart of this nation and our military service members. read over at places many home only known as the

alarm. bunker hill and your town gettysburg and you don't know but princes of miami walk on now and the only the group will be economic afghanistan and iraq and because of the bravery and sacrifice is that the heroes we honor with three don't feel one. hundred. no worry about me. but i'm over there not going to be thinking what might happen after. i'm scared by what the after masses. after after will come after it was called after.

the civilized world produces more food than it needs. well people die of hunger in other countries. millions of victims every year. where

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russia we've. covered. no mercy for morsi as he marks his first year as it gets president angry crowds demand his resignation was both opponents and supporters gearing up for mass rallies. also this week more leaks from n.s.a. whistleblower edward snowden the u.s. has been blogging tapping and cyber monitoring e.u. offices in brussels washington and new york. while snowden still stranded in a moscow airport with ecuador pointing out russia to decide his fate while the kremlin says the n.s.a. leaker's case is not on its agenda at all.