i have to say yes you know i'm actually walking the town with a rifle but instead of using the camera. this is one of the girls and it's her town. one boy they don't know or one of the other bullet hit a little girl on the shoulder and she ended up dying from that shoulder injury it was the last leg bit a happiness i had i was who a breaking point i was i was you know near suicidal yeah. and during that period they set me to a chapel where i sat and talked to a chaplain for about two hours and he tried to basically convince me that killing so thank. you for your in that situation where you're having that struggle you're going on that show i will yeah and one of my going to

well i'm going to call my mom in tow i don't struggle with that stuff i would be bawling her eyes out you know i mean like who am i going to talk to about it you know i mean. well.

i just had my first and last december and she went. panic she was frightful but i was completely. i think crying when he was born i was just completely like. kind of like i had to get a mission. maybe i should've cried to my dad told me i would but my dad hasn't seen the things i have seen a lot of. and from all the combat i've seen soldiers that i've lost over time it gets easier. to where if i've killed the enemy. i don't feel it anymore.

it's harder but i am happy even to be an army wife because not a lot of people get to do it it's definitely a privilege and an honor being married to someone he serves the country so. it's not an easy lifestyle. and i had family members who were in the military so i knew he was going to be gone i knew i was going to be home alone a lot you know it wasn't from a dog. but here i was. ny just turned nineteen in the picture and i was here just graduated college. went off to get married. this was the day he came home i showed these on my phone so they're kind of blurry but this was when he came home it was just he kind of just wanted to sit for a minute and just like i think soak in the fact that he's not there anymore he's back in the mainland he's able to just breathe and not worry about any

day exploding behind him. you mean. here. this is a reef that i made when my husband came home from deployment the material that you see here is what they call a c u from their uniforms. he wore these were actually his pants and he wore them in iraq so when he came home i just thought it was kind of symbolic just to make this wreaths you know to show he made it home so next time he comes home from another deployment i want to make another one.

first time when he came back it was it was scary. there was a lot of rage there's a lot of anger a lot of hurt and. a lot. my husband used to be one of those people a suicidal thoughts you know. he talks a lot when he's drunk and he'll talk about the words kind of ramble on and i let him ramble. i was and. you know. yes. there is. one of them. and.

he leaves again this summer that will be a second deployment and he's gone for anywhere from twelve to fifteen months at a time. did you respond to talking levels and record and sticking them. in it if you have before you leave. we know for sure he's going to iraq. that can change it any minute he can go to afghanistan and kind of hoping he stays in iraq it's safer somewhat savor. your clothes. he here goes. give your breath.

there's air in for breakfast i was about and i usually make him breakfast in the morning but he got home kind of late today so he's probably going to go to the d. fact which is the cafeteria. is hard some. morning. i'm sorry. it's. morning and usually. or it may. or in the middle of the day. just he's so busy or you know what the training schedule. in getting ready to leave so he's got

a lot of stress on him. i want a baby before he deployed speakers if something were to happen god forbid i would have that part of him here with me. being a. little boys. girls. cohesion.

with direction normal teenage thing. i see people trying to find their way and a very wicked world. it's like leading the lambs to slaughter you know they don't know. do i admire them and respect them and have great pride in knowing them and intention yes now i want to cry sorry because. they have extremely good intentions in defending freedom. on our respect generations that america was founded on but i think that maybe they're slightly this. so how it's hard for me it's hard as

a mother you know because i think for all my kids. it's. if. twenty two years old. and i must kill thirty people. the same thing that you were given badges for in iraq you know you would have you considered a serial killer over here and that's you know that's a very weird thought to have running around in your head. in the morning you

know it's very easy to sort of think bright happy thoughts and sort of put a correct kind of. spin on it but when it's dark. going to sleep or late at night or tired it's not as easy. day ever crack it while going to take your oliver jane it's a little while in the middle of the chesapeake bay on the virginia. page or all of the chesapeake bay probably one of the best there is an offer. that you have to endure island they for. the channel was good for oh here. a way up

there. as go all. right here are some of the headstones from the graves it for you if this is a true it's that's that's what we don't want to happen to change your all and we want to get some protection and make sure that we don't go into the chesapeake bay like uppers did in other communities. maybe if you need to review economic ups and downs in the finite months days the london new york sang i and the rest because it's going be a few will be every week call me.

more news today. again flared up. these are the images the world has been seeing from the streets of canada. giant corporations are the day. i won't go more than three minutes without saying about our rights. it's always.

here the roadside bombs i've had twelve of them. partially my vehicle all times. when id goes off you react in ways you think are right at the moment. and when it went to hit our vehicle. activists for i heard my gunner start firing which to me means he had a target my gunner was very good he wouldn't make that mistake. and i jumped out of the vehicle and i shot a shot three people before any of them realized what was going on and they started running from us and i shot thank two more before. before my driver grabbed me. and he said what he doing. and.

that's not me out of it now realize that i was shooting at people because they were there. this one as my grandfather in vietnam is a pilot bosnia was six months. my first trip to iraq was only six months so that's a year my second trip to iraq was a year trip to afghanistan was a year the last trip was fifteen months this was a stream which is to. me i'm oldest boy whose mom. and. mom are somebody. i'm very proud that i have been in the military i'm proud that i've been to war but however good people do get hurt and i've hurt good people and. there's

a reason i'm getting out of the army or part up that's the reason. i have a. chronic p.t.s.d. post-traumatic stress disorder. to be honest with you i just got out of a mental institution took weeks ago. i was there for thirty days. to help me with my p.t.s.d. and it's from the stuff i've gone through the stuff i've done and are. how serious just because we go to mental institution pretty serious. all the people in that place with me they were all military. everybody else there except me had tried to kill themselves i was getting ready to go kill other people

when you get ready. to get in my car and drive up and start killing people. instead i grabbed my wife and we drove up to the hospital. how do you know you you're getting ready to kill people. because the thoughts just kept going through my mind and i was making my plan. at the time it was i had a problem with people being happy because i had i'm not happy most of the time. so are going to drive down the road here and find the first person i saw that looked happy in this. oh i was going to start with them. i was either going to shoot them but i doubt that i probably would have just beaten

to death. or. yes. i don't go places. where you return or stick to those house or our family that's a. case that i'm familiar building. the church is one place i don't feel i have any symptoms. from both the church.

down to us to have my gun on me you know i do the. church. because i'm a radical person where they're likely to strike while the most vulnerable target which would be the church because i would have an entire profession in charge nobody but me. the worst one for me was cleaning up other people's brains. and i can deal with shattered human remains like pick up someone's heart. the

brains are different because it's. you don't know if you're hauling in pieces someone's memory from their kid or. you don't know if you're holding a piece of their members being married remember that you're holding a piece that. and that that was them being soldiers don't know and that's that's the worst for me. because all i want to own you boil it down all this the rest of this is nothing but meat and bone and. but people don't want to have conversations about that they want to buy you a beer and give you a clapper and shake an airport and be on their merry way you know. it puts a strain on my marriage for sure. a lot of marriages have been run because the watch just don't understand and don't have the capability of understanding and you know their husband gets home and they think well the husband going to help me discipline the kids and take care of kids but he end up with three kids and

a grown ass man we've been in the corner drunk off as cradling a gun. no one teaches anybody how to deal with it you know and it also gets back to the in the military it's the john wayne mentality of if you don't show emotion you know allowed to admit that you're sad or upset or anything ever it's not manly. i don't myself to become upset because when i do i don't get a little upset i get stage five def-con want to upset like at the world and i just don't trust people at all. i get really. starts telling people to

. do what i do that no. am i tend to do yeah. temptations their. way and you know.

they love. a. mole zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero. i'm honored to be here today today in the presence of the world for our nation and those who do good work i'm sure they are not forgotten. about remembrance for those who have sacrificed so much. and we'll fight. for me through our nation has made the world a safer place and i'll have peace in this the know this great nation the opportunity to enjoy the fruits of sacrifice. i can think of nothing more honorable

confirming your nation. our military and their families have provided a point you don't read on that no one nation. the particle just nation and our military service members. home only known as normal. and your town. but friends is all i am walking out. of the four vietnam afghanistan and iraq and because of the bravery and sacrifices of the heroes we honor. freedom. it is. no worry about me. but i'm over there are going to be thinking what might have been

asked is. unfair it was that after masses some of. it after after will come after it was called after.

live. live live. live

. the bible says many times the goat is the father of all forms. i'm sure he told me to set up these children. in the old finish that you know in time. he just. needed me. my fellow pilgrim. my dad is probably the kindest soul in the world. one can't abandon the child that they wouldn't survive so he injurious to the. dream can be summed up in just a few what's russia and the world with no wolf and we don't want any children to

wake up in orphanages firmly believes that the parents out there every child space my ego's. good speech.

i. find i'm a little. mission free cretaceous and free. for charges free. range humans free. free. free. download free loading video for your media projects free media. ok. it's a little island a little bit. of

a. pain here all in the chesapeake bay probably one of the best there is an effective fred. before the channel was. way up there. right here are some of the headstones from graves it for you this is a true it's that's that's what we don't want to happen to change your all and we want to get some protection and make sure that we don't go into the chesapeake bay like numbers did in other communities.

russia says it could back the u.s. for the use of force in syria but only if it's proven by the un that bashar al assad ordered an alleged chemical attack last month and the security council votes for action. and while obama's top officials bang the drums of war at a senate hearing in washington activists inside war torn syria become human rights shields to guard possible american targets. also a media watchdog condemns the u.k. government sustained use of strong arm tactics against the press saying security measures are putting harder on freedom to address.