my opinion. drama is that trying to be ignored. stories for those who refuse to notice. things is changing the world writes no. the picture of today's leaves my own designs for roads to live. up to. the. greens id this is for headaches this is for sleep this is a tranquilizer too if i have any episodes xanax caused blackouts and found just. the kind of which is present nightmare because. i can't get off of it. and vilified it is kind of fish you can try to go out there for america sometimes i

have episodes where i won't be able to. i think something will trigger me and which i'll just keep on working and working and working. for like seventy two hours i'm just so exhausted. and i can take and build. a show out forty sixty seventy. one off and thank you very much i don't like the fridge you gave me i could have made a lot more money out of it i wanted to i just it depends on what we're going to. be kept saying on the news of the earth we're rebuilding iraq you're working to rebuild iraq. i was sick of hearing c.n.n. and fox news like bark each other about once a good things are going good to me as i know the horrible things they are i mean i kind of way to see it for myself you know. i join the military when i was a teenager nineteen in basic training.

like halfway through my tour i told my unit that i was willing to kill any any human beings. start major said. ask them is one question are you willing to do your job if i was a say no it would have been like oh this guy's be insubordinate throw in jail you know i mean so like i came to conclusion like they're basically enslaving me here i have to say yes you know i'm actually walking the town with a rifle but instead of using the camera. this is one of the girls and it's her town. one boy they don't know where one of the other bullet hit a little girl on the shoulder and she ended up dying from that shoulder injury it

was the last leg bit a happiness i had i was who a breaking point i was i was you know near suicidal yeah. and during that period they saw me to a chaplain i sat and talked to a chaplain for about two hours and he tried to basically convince me becoming so thank. you for your in that situation where you're having that struggle you're going on that struggle yeah and one of my going to well i'm going to call my mom in tow i don't struggle with that stuff i would be bawling her eyes out you know i mean like who am i going to talk to about it you know i mean.

well. i just had my first and last december and she went to the c. section and panic she was frightful but i was completely calm. i think crying when he was born i was just completely like. kind of like i had to get a mission. maybe i should've cried to my dad told me i would but my dad hasn't seen

the things i have seen a lot of. and from all the combat i've seen soldiers that i've lost over time it gets easier that's the thing that frighten me the most. if i killed the enemy. i don't feel it anymore. it's harder but i am happy that i had to be an army wife because not a lot of people get to do it it's definitely a privilege and an honor being married to someone he serves the country so. it's not an easy lifestyle. and i had family members who were in the military so i knew he was going to be gone i knew i was going to be home alone

a lot you know it wasn't from a dog. but you know i was. no i just turned nineteen in the picture so i was here just graduated college. went off to get married. this was the day he came home i did these on my phone so they're kind of blurry but this was when he came home it was just he kind of just wanted to sit for a minute and just like i think soak in the fact that he's not there anymore he's back in the mainland he's able to just breathe and not worry about any day exploding behind him. here.

this is a wreath that i made when my husband came home from deployment the material that you see here is what they call a c u from their uniforms. he wore these were actually his pants and he wore them in iraq so when he came home i just thought it was kind of symbolic just to make this wreaths you know to show he made it home so next time he comes home from another deployment i want to make another one. first time when he came back it was it was scary. there was a lot of rage there's a lot of anger a lot of hurt and. he drank a lot. my husband used to be one of those people a suicidal thoughts you know. he talks

a lot when he's drunk and he'll talk about the words kind of ramble on and i lot of ramble. and i was and. you know. yes. there is. one of them. and. he leaves again this summer and that will be a second deployment and he's gone for anywhere from twelve to fifteen months at a time. did you ever feel kicked up in levels and record and i still think that.

if you have before you leave. we know for sure he's going to iraq. that can change it any minute you can go to afghanistan and kind of hoping he stays in iraq it's safer for someone to savor. when. you're close. here while it's. oh. dear your breath. they're in for breakfast i was there and i usually make him breakfast in the morning but he got home kind of late today so he's probably going to go to the de fact which is the cafeteria.

is hard so in the. morning. i'm sorry. it's. not easy morning and usually. or in a. order in the middle of the day. just he's so busy right now where the training schedule. give you ready to leave so he's got a lot of stress on him. i want a baby before he deployed speakers if something were to happen god forbid i would have that part of him here with me.

being a. little boys. girls. with direction normal teenage thing. i see people trying to find their way and a very wicked world. it's like leading the lambs to slaughter you know they don't know. do i admire them and respect them and have great

pride in knowing them and intact and yes i'm going to cry. because. they have extremely good intentions in defending freedom. on our respect generations that america was founded on but i think that maybe they're slightly this. so how it's hard for me it's hard as a mother you know because i think for all my kids so it's. it's. i.

twenty two years old. and i must kill thirty people. the same thing that you were given badges for in iraq you know you would have you considered a serial killer over here and that's you know that's a very weird thought to have running around in your head. in the morning you know it's very easy to sort of think bright happy thoughts and sort of put a correct kind of. spin on it but when it's dark. going to sleep or late at night or tired it's not as easy.

as. i. see. the street. with. luck and good. luck. just stick. it in the. mind of

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long three minutes without thinking about our. soldiers. here the roadside bombs. twelve of them. partially my vehicle tops. the night he goes off you react in ways you think are right at the moment. and when it went to hit our vehicle. parked it is for our heard my gunner start firing which to me means he had a target my gunner was very good he wouldn't make that mistake. and i jumped

out of the vehicle and i shot a shot three people before idiom realized what was going on and they started running from us and i shot frank two more before. before my driver grabbed me. and he said would be doing. and. that's not me out of it now realize that i was shooting at people because they were there. this one is my grandfather in vietnam he was a pilot bosnia was six months. my first trip to iraq was only six months so that's a year my second trip to iraq was a year the trip to afghanistan was a year my last trip was fifteen months this was a sting from mr. and me and my oldest boy who is now.

and. the mom are somebody. i'm very proud that i have been in the military i'm proud that i've been to war but however good people do get hurt and i've heard good people and. there's a reason i'm getting out of the army park up that's the reason. i have a. chronic p.t.s.d. post-traumatic stress disorder. to be honest with you i just got out of a mental institution a couple weeks ago. i was there for thirty days. to help me with my p.t.s.d. and it's from the stuff i've gone through for the stuff i've done and iraq. how

serious is the freedom to live in the institution producers. all the people in that place with me they were all military. everybody else there except me had tried to kill themselves i was getting ready to go kill other people when you get ready. to get in my car and drive up and start killing people. instead i grabbed my wife and we drove up to the hospital. you know how do you know are you getting ready to kill people. because the thoughts just kept going through my mind and i was making my plan. at the time it was i had

a problem with people being happy because i. i'm not happy most of the time. so going to drive down the road here i'm the first person i saw that looked happy in as. i was going to start with them. i was either going to shoot them but i doubt that i probably would have just beat them to death. yes.

i don't go places. where you really can't stick to those house or our family that's a. cave that i'm familiar building. the church is one place i don't feel i have any symptoms. from both the church. down to us to have my gun on me yeah i did it. in church. because i'm a radical person where they're likely to strike while the most vulnerable target which would be a church because i would have an entire profession in charge nobody but me.

the worst one for me was cleaning out other people's brains. i can deal with shattered human remains like pick up someone's heart. the brains are different because it's. you don't know if you're holding a piece of someone's memory from their kid or. you don't know if you're holding a piece their members being married remember that you're holding the peace that. that that was them being soldiers and that's that's the worst for me. because all i want to you boil it down all this the rest of this is nothing but meat and bone and . but people don't want to have conversations about that they want to buy you

a beer and give you a clap or a handshake in the airport and be on their merry way you know. it puts a strain on my marriage for sure. a lot of marriages have been around because the watch just don't understand and don't have the capability of understanding and you know their husband gets home and they think well the husband going to help me discipline the kids and take care of kids but he end up with three kids and a grown ass man and we've been in the corner drunk off as cradling a gun. and. no one teaches anybody how to deal with it you know and it also gets back to the in the military it's the john wayne mentality of if you don't show emotion you know allowed to admit that you're sad or upset or anything ever it's not manly.

i don't let myself to become upset because when i do i don't get a little upset i get stage five def-con want to upset like at the world and i just don't. i get really. people. do it when i do that no. and i tend to. the temptations their.

way and you know. they love. a. mole. oh and. i'm honored

to be here today today in the presence of so many roads to our nation and those of you go look i'm sure they are not forgot. about remembrance for those who have sacrificed so much. and one of my. former through our nation has made a world of pain i'll have a son is the look this great nation the opportunity to enjoy the fruits of my sacrifice. i can think of nothing more honorable confirming your nation. our military and their families help her hide in a point you know we don't know what their nation. the particle just nation and our military service members. only known as normal. and your town. but friends as i am walking out. of the four vietnam afghanistan and iraq and because of the bravery

and sacrifices of the heroes we honor. three don't. get it. no worries about me. but i'm over that nothing to be thinking what might have been asked is. unfair it was that after masses some of. it after after will come after us was called after.

her. as soon. supply road deep division. and recession the rocks the global economy. the power elite gather in st petersburg. the russia g. twenty summit on our. bible says many times the goal is the father of all forms.

i'm sure he told me to say these children. from the orphanage that you know in times he just. needed me. my fellow pilgrims' pastor. my dad is probably the kindest soul in the world. one can't abandon the child he knows that they wouldn't survive so he injurious to the end any one dream can be summed up in just a few what's russia and the world with no wolf and we don't want any children to wake up in orphanages firmly believe that the parents out there every child spit up my ego's.

ok. dave a crock it welcome you to take a virgin it's a little while in the middle of a big day on the virginia shod. on the chesapeake bay probably one of the best there is an alfred. and your island before the channel was. here. way up there. as go. right here are some of the headstones from the graves it for you he says of fruits nuts that's what we don't want to happen to change your all and we want to get some protection and make sure that we don't go into the chesapeake bay like uppers did in other communities.

the evidence that suggests syria's rebels have used chemical weapons as russian experts publish a report on the type used and how it's inconsistent with army capabilities. syria is likely to loom large over the g. twenty summit in st petersburg with world leaders split on how to solve the conflict and suspicious of the u.s. following the notorious surveillance scandal. and the record label seek to knock the wind down of the internet pirate sales as they press providers to blacklist people for downloading music movies and books.