hopefully this year is the same day they start to calm down here and asked my dad to say no but that's already hot right now not exactly every day is now still got some work to be. so it's just what i get paid for so i get so i head after on table for the wife and a kid in. three weeks. and . it's only forty or dad now i'll be able to pass my truck down as well so even though i have to really call. her.

we've got about fifteen or twenty now my phone calls. all within just a minute or two of each other. there's a gun fight and there's a huge gun battle taking place in the courtyard between all the buildings where there's kids and there's people and of course you know lots and lots of folks lived there and it was still in the middle of a. like almost lunchtime. when we found him. he was obviously taking a lot of medication and he had been cataloged an alcoholic. this guy had come back from being in iraq. she had an assault rifle. and he said that he just he just needed to hear that he was he was stressed and ordered to relax he just needed to hear the sound of gun.

first forms a lot of kicking down doors going to. kick down a door. there when scared. it's exciting. i mean i don't know what the i just kind of just go back to the swing. but i think hopes. someone says something to me. like a ball or something more i may get more fights to. spend it.

but i never knew anything about his you know the p.s. t.v. year. so i never knew we had all those those problems or nothing and. some people come back from four or five deployments they're just fine you know unless they're. they're hiding they're really good like him that all the sudden just. you know everything. about. four o'clock. in the afternoon i came home just like i his truck was in the driveway parked getting crazy and everything and i think i only went out last night or somethin. comin in a locked door and you know you've usually just locked the bottom one and like all

of the top was locked to a lock it walk in through the door. it happened right here. walk in. you know what i see is is feet. you know laying in the lane in the hallway and i see like little red and brown spots and stuff for my first thought is you know oh he he got drunk last night and he's passed out on four or he was moving something heavy any tripped and he hurt himself. i come over to arm and then i see my forty five pistol laying on the floor and just you know out the side of his head and everything in just blood bled everywhere blood all over the floor blood all over the couch so i you know just kind of touched him and kicked just.

like. you know like i i seen dead before but not dead people by their own hand in my house so. you know he's a good looking guy and he's at there and smile all the time and everything in israel outgoing. thirty you know i got some in the face kind of all around yeah yeah not really sure if a lot of us just don't don't have you know the exposure to actual combat like i've been through combat a couple of times but mike is also driving the truck was kind of hunkered down and pushed us but so i never actually shot in war. a lot of us don't

but we like to. be exposed as soon as we get basic training they use all kinds of different things to shoot and a lot of fun this is fun shooting a war is not a song you have to do to stay alive you know to win the war when the bubble it's just one you just you know a person so this is your life you target these are paper so it's it's different but they're shaped this person. is but. it's not that i thought all the targets are safe there were they thinking. the soldiers treat. him or a new member of the team sure the people. doing. always post mission first will move which the feet move with almost aloof on comrade and just one physically or mentally to try and pull fisher more testing rules. always maintain more like women to myself. to stand ready to deploy and gauge or destroy the enemy's united states

of america in close call but only guarding our freedom and american way of life i am an american soldier. do you know that my heart my heart their freedom it's called the n b a gram misses this way. and also that way. for dishonor. the shotgun in two zero three days i would rather die before i dishonor my glory. i really really like the really. whether you like better country so much that it's the best country in the world it got to be got it. well. bought by actually what happened in the world are not always.

there are seven confirmed in two thousand and three five in two thousand and four nine in two thousand and five three three in two thousand and six six in two thousand and seven fourteen in two thousand and eight and eleven in two thousand and nine to. one thousand confer the suicide at fort hood in two thousand and two. i guess i should say the number of suicides of soldiers assigned to fort hood because he's happened on an off post. the soldier killed himself and. temple one of the neighboring towns in a public restaurant. knew this guy was in a park and around drug town near austin next to a school i mean obviously they all have issues that they couldn't get help for they didn't seek help for.

so this is the story about the soldier who was found dead at the memorial on post. where he did it yes that's the first time that someone has. taken their life or poorly taken their life and place like that on post but this is the first time that it was at a. public and very recognizable place very symbolic obviously something. more and talk he says has been a lot of you know on the surface it seems simple because. you know. all the altar forces here. all of the. strongest anywhere. because it's a volunteer all. everybody in the army wants to join the army. or at least doesn't have any other options. there

is a huge amount of soldiers coming and going here at all. it is the biggest base. it's also a main deployment base. they train here for a couple of months. and then they do play from here. and we have soldiers here that have gone five six seven eight times it's crazy. home of the free because of the. brave sometimes our society forgets that. it's still i think i can. find a cause worth fighting. to feel on and then. come out when what is your first thing i thought of something and the live. before you

are out for all for affording it that way not for the hour a yes ok got to go back over the path on the float and land on the floor moving a little bit for the. economy of a. good laugh good luck on the move him over to. help for a long grant. me a break a. very light everywhere yes ma'am. yes and not on the on the right ok now we're gonna go back you got a belt and a hand and a gun but none of your mind i'm remind your own bob out on monday night the one that won you are the real.

deal. the bible says many times that gold is the father of all from space. i'm sure he told me to say if these children. today truly all finish this nine times. my fellow pilgrims' pasta. my dad is probably the kindest soul in the

world. he can't abandon the child he knows that they wouldn't survive so he in jurors to the end. dream can be summed up in just a few what's russia and the world with no wolf and i want any children to wake up in orphanages firmly believes that the parents out there every child space my goal is. ok. i david. to ted you're all a virgin it's a little while in the middle of the chesapeake bay on the virginia. county. the chesapeake bay probably one of the best there is in effect this fall fred.

and your island before the channel was. here. a way up there. as go all. right here are some of the headstones from graves it for you this is a fruit that's what we don't want to happen to taint your all and we want to get some protection and make sure that we don't go into the chesapeake bay like uppers did in other communities. left the hospital and everything and started to come back home. for some reason i just had to go. and when i walked in the restaurant there was a young girl there. and address asked the girl i said i need to know

did get a soldier. commits suicide here and she goes well i can't say anything and i just looked at her and i said the mother of this soldier and i wanted to thank you for what they. did but he didn't. and she started crying. i'm so sorry i hope you and the favorite god can forgive me that's what he said yes but that was it. and he has sent that to me at five forty three on the sixth and they said it ten minutes after six is when is. he wanted to follow family traditions. there's military pretty much on all for the whole both sides of the

family for the man. army and air force and he said he wanted something to challenge him and make him a man. after basic trained changed a lot i could tell that he really grew up the second tour is when he came back a mess he was having nightmares really bad he said he would see things and he would he would think about it a lot. at that time they didn't really know that this was going on with us because he didn't tell. because he had been talking to some other people that were having problems that they were being looked upon like they were me and worthless army actually told them that they would tell my son that when he told him he had problems they told him that he was worthless and would never amount to anything and to get it fixed and straighten up in the he had to be. stronger

or he would never be anything. i love my country i do. to be patriotic is to love your country more than yourself . many people think of it in terms like that but. if you join the military for any other reason than that you're probably not going to have a good day. if i could have stayed in the army i would have. as i did enjoy being an infantryman cared for i feel for my country like generations of my family was done. for hundreds of years i enjoyed it. there are

good parts of it that is the army species you how to become a casualty how to be killed they teach you how to deal with facing death. you know teach you how to deal with being wounded. and once you are wounded in your no further use to the army they get rid of you they warehouse him until the you get your medical discharge and go away. when i get stressed out and she will as i feel better. simple as that whenever as i'm bad day i go to the range in iraq and i just dump some rounds on her and you feel better. and it's still a. piece of shrapnel that's

a dug out of my spine it's a piece of the bomb the bomb was i'm sorry all over the place a pipe basically a huge pipe bomb made with homemade explosives so it was and it wasn't like a mortar or artillery round or anything it was entirely homemade. and the iraqi police helped put the bomb in place so. i don't want to get into the details of what happened in the attack of the steam much more you mean like the things i saw on. own. because that's what it's not so much the nature of the attack and the aftermath it's the reasoning behind making as vulnerable so that we were attacked in the first place that's what bothers me so much it's just so stupid.

our brigade commander was concerned that we would scratch the iraqis furniture i'm not kidding they went on public record saying that. that was one of his major concerns because they complained to him that us where all our gear and having our weapons we've scratched their nice furniture and they did live in pretty nice we saw a lot of brand new b.m.w. is brand new ford brand new mitsubishi was driving around. yes. the army decided to have key leadership and what they meant by that was anybody above the rank of the six like myself would remove their body armor and weapons and leave them in the vehicles and this wasn't optional it was mandatory it was an order and what does it mean to take your body armor what do you are left with. swing and i don't know how much you need your confidence and maybe she put extra starch and

therefore it's about. we're talking about scratch furniture and poor little iraqis hurt feelings i don't care i don't care if it comes to if is a choice between my safety and making iraqis feel comfortable i'm going to choose my safety every goddamn time sorry if that if that's not politically correct or whatever i don't care this is ambien for sleeping. muscle relaxer flexeril my muscles twitch when they get aggravated which is basically all the time with the what's left of my back twitches and that doesn't feel good so i take this. never prescription for a low grade dosage of zoloft and that keeps me from getting too i still unable to feel things emotionally but it doesn't get out of control so it's just enough to help me get through.

so i got nothing good to say about the army. we're product they literally use that word in official documents product not a cheeseburger not a pack cigarettes. just for the money. tax free kimonos like thirty five thousand. just not that much but. if it was worth it if you come home alive and with limbs. we have seen the beginning of the iraqi war. we've seen many go. and we've seen less come. they are all excited about going and they get these wartime tattoos and they are ready. and then they'll come back

a year later and there's such an emptiness such a. forsaken missing their eyes. sometimes the top and sometimes i was. we don't pride than to talk. well ask you know what is this for who is this war. you want to talk about what happened and sometimes they do. most times they don't. there's the boat. that's my favorite coach says you know in a war there are no one hundred soldiers. everybody's affected. and they're just in different degrees. and i work with soldiers so i know i am

helping understand. it's always been an anti-war coffeehouse. i'm. i am anti-war my politics are pretty to the left. people have called me a traitor you know protestors are evil especially in a town like alina where the brass has a very strong hand the only chairs around. i decided to make it more like a house because a lot of the soldiers need human contact so this is somewhere they could come and feel at home. when. i.

joined because i had problems at home my mother had just been admitted to a psychiatric ward and i was sixteen and then. when i turned seventeen i took my mom to the recruiter and she told me she was she was the real luke issue no she was doing but she signed for me and the recruiter was cool and so i went off and my dad was in korea at the time that's why otherwise you know i don't have anybody here my i'm a military brat so all my extended relatives are halfway across the united states and the only reason why i'm here is because my dad was in the army and you know and then he went to korea i'm here with my mom my mom goes crazy i have nothing but but the army is an option. this is. i knew i was going to go. when i joined there was no like i'm not going to

lie to myself i had expected to lose a bit of my mind myself you know it was it was constant like it was so so far removed from reality and it was such a bombardment. for me. my young mind or whatever. i came home and i couldn't get back in sync with anything you know living a normal life and worrying about parking tickets and you know bills and these things and i thought if i go back to iraq i could get away for a year. so i volunteered for my second appointment. sometimes i feel like. i should have died over there. because

i. i saw some people who had died and i saw people. get blown up and stuff and being so close to it it doesn't make sense that i should be so close to this and it shouldn't be like what was the determining what's what is it about you know what is it why it doesn't make sense but. more often i'm just afraid. just fraid of things i've seen even though i know them probably won't like come they're not going to come get me. and just. what if they did have. wealthy british style.

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and. i. terrorists they hide in the woods and prepare to become suicide bombers. those

still believe these young men can be saved. then. the mothers won't sleep at night they'll follow this into the woods find them and return them to a peaceful life they killed almost everybody. to take him away from maybe that was by chance. how does it feel to be a terrorist mother. if you have even the slightest chance come home. my son terrorised. could you take three years for charges three. three. three stooges three. old free

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