there's one thing that i still can't understand what you mean i don't want to ruin your good mood but i have this one question what are you doing this all for. listen to me you had everything to respect authority you gave them all up and decided to go your way but what for. it was a way to inform he tried to restrain himself and find his place in society in spite of this disease. but look here first out anyway is that. your sort of never really puts me off that i have such a father. if the only of it was one small but very

great secret that i have to live with. going to law i am a transsexual woman is where news and now i'm going through a transition period the so-called homeowner will stage when i need to adjust to society as a woman that's why i need to change my sex in my possibles in a partner pool there's been no surgery because you know no not yet it's very expensive and i don't have enough money with their money to the right amount first and with a name you already overdose of in my passport people treat me as though i'm a non-person i can't find a job law is it you don't even believe it's really my possibility that. you substantiate your claim with a number of medical reports could you present them. to me so far you have only

presented a medical report from professor clinic you should know if i thought that report would be enough i didn't think i'd need anything else if you referred to it as a medical statement then you need to have a document proving this clinic really is a magic organization authorized to issue such reports. i don't have such a document will you be able to present it yes i think so when will you be able to present it like concerned exact date i'll have to submit a request in five days ten how many. about ten probably it's hard to say exactly the cases are joined to the ninth of september if the clinic refuses to provide you with unnecessary documents the court will sign an inquiry. didn't it surprise you that they claim you could north or west from the roof yes it did i don't know why they didn't reply it's so strange i can't comment i don't know

what happened if i had the opportunity i would have done it myself what are you going to do next. we're going to call the clinic and the local registry office try to explain the situation because it's delaying the surgery. i told you it to think twice because there was an opportunity that she wouldn't be allowed on a plane with more than the police would detain her i told her to wear no make up

during check in and on the plane she could have put it on later and not before customs a lot of women wear trousers now julip put on a travis high heeled shoes and make up anyway. she was looking for trouble because . of course they didn't want to load jewelry or through the customs because what they saw didn't conform to what her passport sat the ground they call for doctors to check because they saw a woman who according to the documents was a man. i am not recognized in russian law jazz nothing there about me or people tell me that

anything which is not expressly forbidden must be allowed so i figured that nothing was for that and may be because there's no law saying to the seller of your can go through customs in a dress and high heels so i could do it and i did. here . to get one i didn't start a fight stamp my feet or throw shoes at them i just looked at them smiled and waited till i saw your face. and you were so serious so concentrated. i'm convinced the top thoughts materialize if you're fraid of something sooner or later you'll have to face it but there's no point hiding the why do that anyway i want to live openly and freely just live being transsexual is a temporary state on

a woman and very happy about that since i have all my documents i possibly nothing but. ladies and gentlemen please give up your seats to elderly passengers mothers with children full pregnant ladies. but when you were ten when you were thirty you mom i didn't know anything then understand you had a family you were a normal person. i'm still a normal person i think it's living on your own that has brought it all about. and it's nothing that living alone could do i was born with it the doctors have already told you it's innate it's you why would he believe the experts there's no other way

you can't catch it all about genes it's a combination of chromosomes and group life it doesn't affect it in any way mum white. mom white quickly. go through ok let's take a blood test. from a vein yes give me arms. which. most of the most of the crux of the issue is the removal of a penis causes your anation problems to be honest i can't even look at it yuck. seems so strange just a kind of really the studio organ. zero which is it will be quite a long operation because we will have to remove part of some blood vessels and adjust your rethrow within the growing oh maybe we could start with removing the

testicles and then decide yes then you'll have to decide look you know you're so cheerful yes because your testicles still produce a little to her yes once that is gone there will be no such happiness anymore. then we might need to insert physiologically female doses of the hormone to maintain this good mood. you need hormones not for general masculine ization or to make your beard grow you needed as an effective anti stress agent to have a good mood this is the. truth of it as early as the age of five i started to think it was wrong they called me and treated me as a boy uppermost i was aware that there were boys and girls could move and they put me with the former one that i knew i really belonged with the latter. but it came as a shock to me and i tried to analyze myself and came to the conclusion that i couldn't

change anything so i just withdrew into myself for the many years with the woman was one small but very great secret that i had to live with morning and was right there. as a crucial difference between you and me as a child at school i didn't conceal who i was a lot of the children gave me a hard time to me didn't talk to me and insulted me. i was an outcast from the start of my life is based on what was a great tragedy for my mother to shawn she believed that she had to give birth to daughter so that there would be someone to look after her when she's old and already know if you call that was her life plan so when after labor the doctor told her it was a boy she got hysterical and she said take him away it's not my baby she was convinced the babies had been switched out and i saw mom was suffering because of

me because i wasn't born a girl i feel guilty for something that wasn't in fact my fault matias you up. this feeling to kreutz i was delighted to be a woman willing to i took interest in all aspects of my mother's life i tried to prove i was worthy of her love and if she could only feel love for a daughter i was determined to become that daughter for her. both of the goals. and you were arguing when we were choosing this t.

shirt i was afraid it would be too big for me. to be in fact to size up would have been better if i told you that you needed a big girl with a look to the song mommy knows best at least today after i do jewish hair she looks beautiful and usually an ugly when i don't do your hair is that what you mean you're not as beautiful can't help crying just looking at it. come off it do something normal. i'm here at the top and you have a cool hairstyle that folliot my hair looks like a bush you have what you have to look the volume is so nice you sure from your lips to god's is. ungrateful pig no way. i think i've spent too much time with to where i want to leave a come life of my own and enjoy the high level i've managed to achieve.

and i have one more thing to ask of you you don't undergo any surgery mom i am asking you for your money. dry to understand one simple thing my whole body has changed i'm a woman now and i can't have male organs i'm a woman as you try to understand it once and for all. you cut thirteen or it doesn't matter you have to admit a woman can't have male organs even if you come to the doctor to do this operation it's called to me term a what people call it it's cold castration but the organ remains anyway. that removing that is the second day after a year i can remove absolutely everything is just much more expensive. when you buy

you aware that you're not that young when i know you do you realize that i could you have died three years ago i tried to kill myself do you understand that that i have gained another three years of life would be good will most for the suicide rate is almost ninety percent. are they all like that is that they are weak people they are not very strong people my name is julia. because i almost completely forgot what i wanted to ask. after the break you'll meet the person who was always the closest man in june is life. would it be easy if the if he can meet is to say yes absolutely he hasn't seen him for ages will he even recognise him you can see for yourself after the break.

early in the iraq and afghanistan war it was much easier to use a weapon and you always work with a ground crew i might be following a convoy came under attack i would work directly with the ground controller he would tell us where he needs help he would say you look at that arroyo we're taking fire from that arroyo and i would tell him what i'd see and then he would clear me hot and the decision was on me for when to fire as the face of war changed those restrictions became greater and greater and greater we we could not lose weapons and towards the end of our occupation in iraq we were weapons tight it took. the president to say yes that somebody we need to strike.

if you're thinking about an alcoholic drink associated with russia it's probably not going to be one that springs into your head but they've been making it here on the black sea coast for more than two thousand kids and there's an industry which really can compete with the rest of the world. i've come to meet some of the people going the great and to see if i can find out the secret to the perfect. right. first. and i think your.

orders. would fly julius and i view all of us want to love and respect myself i hereby promise that i shall never cease working on myself and from this day on be true to myself and that's up more for us for richer for poorer in sickness and in health. i will love and accept myself until the day that i die i challenge myself to live in complete harmony with myself and to lead a happy life good kid. congratulations again on the day when you've accepted yourself.

why did you do boys there was no the way i couldn't live as a man. who could i could be neither father nor hosp and i know that i'm a woman she needed a man which i'm not ok it was your first marriage what about the second that was immediately after the first and what's more i don't know it's still a mystery to me well you said to her my re i love you will you marry me i was trying to group to fit in that so yes i mean i tried to kill that in myself but i think it's actually easier to be a man i know with you it's physiological but if we're talking about living in a society a woman has so many responsibility as. if you have to look good where make shave your legs polish a nail so you can just walk around in worn out boxer you can do that it's creepy of course not of course but i want to do that waves and a man can wear socks with holes in it too short and sweat pants and play pocket for

. and who will complain clue in about what. he's in there good and bad well i'll tell you a secret i hope no one will hear me even with a didnt like that he is a god with a huge belly with no reaction he believes he is a cool guy because he can doubt a woman and find another one there always be someone who will be happy to have him always. the one you can feel i had a number of sham marriages well one was official right another marriage another baby and still nothing more nothing changed about only that i was still the same person i had always been with the compartment on the divorced i supported my child my nan surely and helped as best as i could when we divorced she was eight or nine months maybe

a year old. now she's twenty six. i guess i wouldn't recognise her if i met her on the street. who i spoke to on the phone with greta meets over. there the more i thought i could give myself a little treat and meet the person who has my own blood flowing through them they were given me a clue. i was there in vain and rina texted to say she couldn't make it and she had a lot of things to do she couldn't come which was a pity much and i feel so stupid upset with.

i doubt a reader knew it was my birthday she couldn't mean it to be such an empty present the worst time for me was when i was forty five it was a tough this year of my life that year and made the best impressions i've ever had in my whole life i realized that it was too late i was way past the critical stage and i was depressed it's a most dangerous suicidal state for a hit boiling point. after my second attempt to commit suicide failed which i decided there was not much point in trying again for a third time it was much better to see what would happen if i started taking hormones going so that's what i did.

where back exactly where we stopped last time i asked you for a document for any relevance so typical as that could prove that the clinic has a license can you present such documents are not i can't present such documents you've come to the hearing unprepared again what next what do you expect us to do take my word for it. of news but i believe in anything. that i want to do. with an operation the case wouldn't matter anymore. because. if i meet him i will have nothing to say to him i can't imagine. what i will do if

we me what can i tell him i certainly want to say hello and i don't want to say hello julia either you or i could but i don't want to. bring i don't want to encourage him i'll never pat him on the shoulder in an operating room and say go on man if he feels that male member prevents him from having a happy life he's free to remove it and i won't come to the hospital with a banner saying no to julia soul of the over i won't do that when he's never done me any wrong after he became a woman although he did me a lot of bad things before but it really puts me off that i have such a father anyway no matter how you look at it if i feel ashamed. of going. when i have children of my own i won't be able to tell them that this is their grandfather but i can't go for

a walk with him or come to his place on saturday to drink beer and watch football to do all the simple things i would like to do. i did not fall in love with him but i felt it was p.t. you know when i saw him for the first time he had the eyes of the beaten dog thrown out on the street he's had this desolate look in his eyes all his life and had always felt he wanted to be me no woman i mean for example he would ask me to stand in front of the mirror and point out that our foreheads look alike and some other things. people were both in it when i was pregnant with terrible texaco's it's the first thing i wanted to know was whether it was a congenital disorder union and when i found out it wasn't i come down with it at least i will have a baby i thought you have to understand if after this operation you behave here you've got all these ten twenty thirty years that remain with whom would you let

him do it if it'll make life easier for him because in fact it seems self that he's struggling with unworking don't disturb me why don't disturb me you should have thanked everyone he hold no grudge and forgive everyone who despite it's not too late for that even know you meant everything will work out for him or her. doing your job you're doing now is humiliating which is difficult but not you minutes and how is it demeaning i do my job properly but psychologically you're

still a tease mom i need the money i'm just earning money i know i know humiliating but you can do it all your life i'm not going to i've already told you i'm leaving for moscow i've been offered a job that. smothered your positions for having examined the documents presented to the court the court's role to dismiss the claim by hearsay over there from a can imagine it's in the birth certificate. that it's present project may be in accordance with the law numbers up on it but at.

what do we do now mum would even name me i know how difficult it is federman it's very important for me don't be offended if you know i'm not my child can't you see that i'm definitely not going to answer to the name during trying to understand that and tell dad well use another name when you have one already have another name in all the medical statements you don't have it yet don't be offended mom you have to understand one very simple thing i love you and i want you to love me too i'm a clever woman i know what to do i've been loving you all my life i've lived my life for you. is the course there when i die i don't want to have the name yury your overdog on my tombstone or the other man you're really sets my teeth on edge and i'm good i

know i won't be able to make any decisions by then you know you're new to the new you'll never even get to see it from arthur met them if the force of it frustrates me here which and i really don't want that to be a man's name a much tombstone for which would be better not to have a drive at school. but he's your son you can anyone be closer to him than you knew costs i think most people will sorry for her. you heard his father saying that it would be easier for him if his son killed himself he moved on but i think his life is difficult for the reason i'm happy man any suffering over with but with all of that. my name is julia.

when the crisis leaves us trace is everywhere an. empty classroom become the norm. children pay for the mistakes of adults. by working in a tobacco field or in a cafe. they are the ones who come back home blasts. so kids games are just in their memories. war is probably the most complex and difficult to. all of us are still locked up. in the phenomenon of friendly fire probably

extends back to the invention of gunpowder. just killed a bunch of people who don't know the one thing on their premises there are of us people. reading. this some of them shoots my brother in the leg not intentionally because it because it was night times four in the morning even the best even the belch soldiers. are going to make mistakes does this whole idea of brotherhood an author. and camaraderie in the sense that was it in this context that has absolutely no place. over my language at all but i will only react to situations i have read the reports so let's put it straight. no i will leave that to the state department to comment

on your latter point lead among please save it please sir k.l.a. car is on the docket. no more weasel words when you question me prepared for a chase when you throw a punch be ready for a. printout of speeds and down the freedom to cross. flip on your watch at the news all the same time people. plug. a pleasure to have you with us here today shifts.

tensions run high in central kiev as thousands protest against the ukrainian president's decision to definitively reject an association agreement with the e.u. . tens of thousands are still protesting in ukrainian capital and hundreds of riot policemen are on the ground as well creating simmering tension. i began to have some serious philosophical reservations about what the fed was doing and i decided to apologize to america as the black friday shopping kicks off in the us we look at where the wild buying spree of the federal reserve has landed the american economy five years after it started. tap on and nothing came out which was very frightening the air was degraded horrible a lot of fair tax tryouts.