i am jenny you. are with the assault section of a second platoon third special forces unit. and we were always on the alert for a long conflict because if we get intelligence about militants in the neighborhood it's usually reliable for them with the squadron has played a part in conflicts before war but this was the first attack of its kind of on terrain like this. when we were expecting them we were ready for them at any moment but it was a very difficult area and they were able to open fire first who was not. in his

move looked at them. for a special forces soldier thinking is paramount but was that how he makes the right decisions. during that five militants tried to outflank the three soldiers led by paul four and started throwing hand grenades at them. both covered one of those grenades with his own body. of course i was frightened but i tried to compose myself i was thinking somehow i had to come back because mom was waiting for me this is a thought the cams you down moms waiting. there exists a series now before there. every one of us is ready for it well perhaps not completely ready to prepare yourself for death but we

do know the risks we know what our task is and above all where it is that we. that was the first. and the first. general. to go just break. good morning play. i often think of them especially if. he was different to all the other new recruits. he approached me and asked if he could enroll in my group he wanted to serve in a special nessie unit. i showed him a blank sheet from my notebook and said see this sheet which you too are a clean sheet at the moment it's up to you to prove yourself. everything's in your own hands. people have to make the decision themselves if

a man wants to put himself to this test to go through this trial and he must do so . becoming a soldier was always my ambition to work. there . i'm usually the singer is a chosen arbitrarily fall in love with the first is mostly the soldier with the loudest voice. in this regard to you again it was always the best song in the school choir and it was never even barest. you can so he had no problem saying that army with so many people listening to him. we both thought there was still plenty of time before he left town so when the

fifteenth of november when he had to go eventually came around because we spent the whole night packing his things in a hurry one and he has a sweet tooth he had one so have his huge hold all was crammed to the break with snickers chocolate bars and other sweets a lot of hysteria taking warm clothes out to because they didn't fit but he wouldn't allow me to touch the sweets that was completely out of the question the fact. tell you that a few. times i just knew that everything would be fine for some reason we were so confident because we were going to get married officially after he came back with everything was planned or what even sent out invitations how could he not come back with reports that the mere thought of it never crossed our minds that sorry i can't.

i heard somewhere that heroes and cowards feel exactly the same things when the difference is that the hero moves on anyway while the coward steps back. on the base national to be afraid every deployment feels like the first everything repeats itself everyone scared while getting ready for the mission i never think i'm invincible in mosul fearless nothing like that we're lies that event off of the mission in the classroom we drew plans of the conflicts. this usually takes the best of us because the bases are always up front because they're

the quickest to make decisions like you get the app of deeds during that fight. that there was a. surprise. this was the so-called terrorist group which in just one year before that fight carried out several terror attacks inside pakistan these people were fanatics they'd abandon normal life for them life had become war. you're killed me. they took part in attacks on the security services. they were directly involved in killing law enforcement officers. and they were responsible for terror attacks in the town of. in fact the whole area in dagestan.

the special forces are an isolated community i can't understand how their wives are able to wait constantly anxious. even when a special forces soldier is at home he can be called up at any moment. it means their wives are always waiting knowing that their man might not come back. zinc we just had a heart to heart talk wants me and you gave me and he told me a lot about himself i asked more and more questions sometimes i didn't even have to ask. he just took whatever the subject was and elaborate on that i thought when i asked my mother to send me my documents i didn't tell her i was going to sign a contract to serve in a special forces unit. and she might have guessed but she didn't know for sure during my first deployment i was lying to her about where i was and what i was

doing. that i can find the words to describe how it feels when you're so tense and anxious that every phone call every text message sets your teeth on edge you can or when he calls and tells you in that convoy so if his when i'm good we're going on a mission for about five days maybe more don't worry i'll call as soon as i'm back home with one. poll come to us. no cameras go no one by the way we had an exam passing it grants you the right to wear the special forces chevron and khaki bray. that's the first stage everyone tried really hard if gagne was very strong willed i used to say stubborn he would set goals for himself and you could see he was moving on to achieve them.

so that when you set yourself a goal you try to achieve it at any cost. in spite of all that of the two hundred twenty two soldiers who took the exam only thirty three of those past. me and i were running in the same race this battle marsh's the main test was soldier stamina. the purpose of the test is to make sure that we will know what it's like when you're utterly exhausted and still have to drag a fellow soldier along the borders that's a part of the special forces code under no circumstances will we ever leave one of our guys on the battlefield you drag your friend because you know that his life is

more important than your own. i passed the test on my first attempt and you get me on his second or third after passing that we could both probably hold our heads up high. exam once and so did you have guinea. this he was doing pushups i slapped him on the helmet and said to yourself together boy. a lot of things remind me of him to work together for example. no i had to do it alone. time just. to keep time when we were doing exercises now i have to ask the other guy after i reenlisted i had nowhere to stay time he agreed just

like that he did the cleaning and i did the cooking so live together came home together slept in the same air bed woke up every morning and went to sirius together. with the time. time. if he hadn't covered the grenade with his body a lot of other guys would have done it in a split second he made a conscious decision and found the courage to throw himself on top of it. it was not for nothing semi-colon's slow witted grunts but we have a purpose. unless we come here is that russia may drown in chaos. we took a dog holds a bubble with us on that mission or you wouldn't want to bring your lawn the first

is there was barely enough room in the truck and then we put her in her lap for them and if. that's all with me then she started behaving strangely. yogo and running friends back and forth whimpering. she must have felt that she was about to die. but we went several meters along the path through the lens above us with to the sight of you there was a patch with no snow and we saw a hatch of that very moment it opened and militants started shooting from its. open file in the hatch and commanded to go for the attack a. sort of chain jumped ahead and suddenly the dog the next house a very loud how then she turned back and covered me with her own body and blocked

the machine gun thaw that the medicines were aiming strikes at me. i had to last press it was so long so lalage and then there was silence. i couldn't help myself off that i started crying for. the world for more for her think about i've recently taken in a german shepherd puppy and i'm training him for comet tusks. but i notice that she resembles the ball the nice habits of the as the same looking you saw is of admits the law is just the way she did it there is a very clear resemblance between the two of them are. that i don't lie down. below my good book i weld and.

cross talk rules in effect that means you can jump in anytime you want. i play this cleaner who's in love with a waitress i go on stage managing that there's an audience i used to take drugs and

drink like a fish called the police told me about the circus but i was such a punk i was like what circus. school or circus is clearly kids. and we break down stereotypes about kids from disadvantaged backgrounds. the olympic torch is on its epic journey to structure. one hundred twenty three days. through two hundred cities. relayed by fourteen thousand people or sixty five thousand. in a record setting trip. to see others face. a limp torch relay. on r t r c dot com.

of course my health isn't what it used to be before i was but i'm trying to get back in shape right now i'm trying to get as fit as a special forces officer is supposed to be. i'm preparing my family and friends for the idea that i'm not going to resign i tried to explain to them there's no one who's ever going to take my place on the missions we carry out i just have to learn the lesson of my wound. i enlisted in the army at the age of eighteen i was sick. college then finishing my first year i left when my summer examinations were in full swing and went to a suspects not seen it before. i'm fully aware of what happened and what

could have happened in that battle i've long since prepared myself for any possible outcome. of this while there are still people who try to make me change my mind to convince me that i should resign how could i do that if it's what i remain joy that's what i live for and. just i'm not going to plan anything now use military service has taught me one very important thing to make no plans for the future ever i could be returning from a combat mission with other guys now but fate decided otherwise. i was lucky to stay alive. now i'm going to mourn those who died it you know but you. can of course i would like to get it crimson.

being a true warrior and that's what i aspire to. but now i have to focus on restoring my health and when the time comes i'll do my very best to pass the exam so that i too can wear their crimson pereira. boy a very convincing an endurance test five sets of ten push ups ten pulling your legs unto your chest and ten jumps any questions or no questions will assume front support position on my company one two three. where you spence not soldier must progress and improve. you there's no point shouting that you're the toughest guy around of them because there's always someone tougher. yet. is the job you get paid for

it will take a certain delight in doing it in this world. there's no point thumping your chest and boasting about being a member of the special forces i never liked that sort of thing. people often mistake me for a period trooper or a marine but once called out in the street look there goes a crimson very. old people are reluctant to sit next to me on the buses they're free. for some reason many believe that are boneheaded guerrillas who can't think properly and they're only good for hurting people and fighting the.

board a flight is what tells you if you are ready you don't know what will happen tomorrow and then what situations your skills might come in handy the more you exercise the more easily you pass the test it was easier for you to earn the crimson brave and some others it just means you work harder journey training. the aim of these exams is to test our physical fitness i'm convinced there are no limits to what the human body can do there are only psychological barriers and then spetznaz even when you can't go on any longer and somehow you do it anyway. the most important thing is to break through the psychological barrier after that everything is easy. brother special forces. see it as blood. you convince yourself

that you have to do it. if i hadn't passed the test i wouldn't have the chevrolet you see on me now. i also really want to go back where you are a on the uniform i'm. all these factors together were very powerful incentive for me. he would wear this brain any weather even when it was freezing cold i remember him coming to save beer once to spend the winter holidays with me she got off the train with the screams and barry and his head people were turning to look at him because he ears were blue with cold but he was so proud to be able to wear the b. ray. and soul of the party. hold jockey competitions within the squad and you get me took part in every one of them during missions we used to make of sketches this act was always brilliant at all.

and i got called in for people literally cried with laughter. oh my special horse i'm. sure i do. you know who i am sergeant do you know. if i keep going through this footage again and again and all the emotion i felt then washes over me again i can't seem to get my head around the idea that he can he's no longer with us. but mostly when i went away on my first deployment i was very nervous but i'm from siberia and we went to the south of the country everything was different even

the people that deployment was a long one it lasted a full ten months it all seems so much easier now because i've got the hang of it at last. but we learned what our task would be twenty four hours before the attack the f.s.b. had informed us about a group of militants in a particular area we had to come the ground for them. legal i saw a trodden path leading into a bush and noticed a hatch i pointed it out to the commander and at that moment i was wounded. some with the battle only lasted for about five maybe seven minutes. ever. thing happened very quickly because the movie of the with. the terrorists were hiding out in their lead and the other half they were lying in ambush nearby and they started shooting at us from the bushes all of the same time and from several different

directions. we the militants decided to try and break through it with her give you any apple screaming grenada and. we're going so i'm throwing myself onto it the explosion blew him over on his back and it was all over all of us. moving when we approached the militants hideout they had the advantage because we weren't expecting an attack. that's why we suffered such losses. but we did retaliate well that we completed our task every single one got what was coming to them. and they have a number of if right after the assault we didn't know exactly who was wounded and who was killed so more later the commander reported casualties and said give of his

dead or you know i didn't believe in the tourist who. in the neighborhood down all of them was took off my gear with me and cried. which of your journey was in duty on the night of the twenty fifth of january and stuck in my memory she were the laptop from one of the guys i switched on the computer and so that he was in skype the q. was looking at me on intently i asked what's that all the boat i haven't changed we'll meet very soon and he answered no i want to see you now that's what i remember more than anything else. so on deployment everything is different to the group is more close knit when we start an operation there are fifteen soldiers with the commander in charge we know that our comrades and our commander won't leave us no matter how tough it gets we are team. city.

so most of the military base is the place where your home and your family are. all that fuss will attract you but on a mission a man reveals his true colors a little after the first deployment but a lot of people leave special forces have a sea of some of them realize it's simply not for them those who do stay though make up a reliable team so you won't be afraid of going anywhere with them even to the moon . when. the when some of our guys go in a combat mission. floor before they leave. for them to return safe and sound with no losses. school we say the number of beignets going out no should be

the same coming back to their homeland and. i passed the exam and now i can wear the special forces insignia everything's great i have no regrets now i'm thinking about signing up for a second tour of duty. they look like bounty islands where the locals can enjoy the sun and the ocean. but what

was buried here years ago. means these people are suffering the consequences. how much more poison lies on the this ground. and behind this zone there is what we call the callet bank on which there is a deposit of plutonium left by security test which caused the dispersion already and you clyde's despite previous cleaning efforts there remains a deposit of a little less than two kilos of plutonium stuck in the rock and the coral reef is about ten meters down nuclear tests a never ending legacy. this is the media leave us so we leave the media. the same motion security for your party visible. for suze that no one is asking with the guests that you deserve answers from it's all on politicking

only on our t.v. . elaine.

ukraine's president agrees to consider some of the oppositions to the country's capital becomes a. u.s. diplomats meeting with both sides of the standoff. itself to police push back anti-government protesters and clear some of the barricades allowing parts of the city to return to work up to days of paralysis. also this hour the u.k. wants companies against dealing with israeli partners in the occupied territories. makes it business highly risky for british. business start to the week for a lot of it having met the country's top human rights watch dogs to discuss a mask.