live. live live. live

. i am jenny yes gunner with the assault section of a second platoon third special forces unit. and we were always on the alert for a long conflict because if we get intelligence about militants in the neighborhood it's usually reliable but it was the squadron has played a part in conflicts before but this was the first attack of its kind on terrain like this. when we were expecting them we were ready for them at any moment but it was a very difficult area and they were able to open fire first who was not. used to

them. for a special forces soldier thinking is paramount but without so he makes the right decisions. during that five militants tried to outflank the three soldiers led by all four and started throwing hand grenades at them. both covered one of those grenades with his own body. of course i was frightened but i tried to compose myself i was thinking somehow i had to come back because mom was waiting for me this is a thought the chems you down mom's waiting. exits a series now before their. every one of us is

ready for it well perhaps not completely ready that it's hard to prepare yourself for death but we do know the risks we know what our task is and above all where it is that we serve. that was the first loss my unit ever suffered. under my command. general sir. just prior to. good morning play comrade major i often think of them especially if he was different to all the other near recruits. he approached me and asked if he could enroll in my group who he wanted to serve in a special nessie unit. i showed him a blank sheet from my notebook and said see the sheet which you too were a clean sheet at the moment it's up to you to prove yourself. everything's in your

own hands. people have to make the decision themselves if a man wants to put himself to the test to go through this trial dan he must do so or becoming a soldier was always my ambition to work. have. a mooch the singer is a chosen arbitrarily fall in love with the first is mostly the soldier with the loudest voice. in this regard to you again it was always the best when he sang in the school choir and was never even barest. we couldn't so he had no problem saying that army with so many people listening to him. we both thought there was still plenty of time before he left town so when the

fifteenth of november when he had to go eventually came around because we spent the whole night picking his things and harry one and he has a sweet tooth he had one so have his huge hold all was crammed to the break with sneakers chocolate bars and other sweets a lot of hysteria taking warm clothes out to because they didn't fit but he wouldn't allow me to touch the suite and. that was completely out of the question to find. tell you that. at all i just knew that everything would be fine for some reason we were so confident because we were going to get married officially after he came back with everything was planned but even sent out invitations how could he not come back with reports that the mere thought of it never crossed our minds that sorry i can't

. i heard somewhere that heroes and cowards feel exactly the same things when the difference is that the hero moves on anyway while the coward steps back. but up on the base national to be afraid every deployment feels like the first everything repeats itself everyone scared while getting ready for the mission i never think i'm invincible in mosul fearless nothing like that we're lies that event off of the mission in the classroom we drew plans of the conflicts.

this usually takes the best of us because the bases are always up front because they're the quickest to make decisions like you get the app of deeds during that fight. that there was a. surprise. good. this was the so-called terrorist group which in just one year before that fight carried out several terror attacks inside pakistan these people were fanatics they'd abandoned normal life for them life had become war. killed me. they took part in attacks on the security services. they were directly involved in killing law enforcement officers. and they were responsible for terror attacks in the town of. in fact the whole area in dagestan.

the special forces are an isolated community i can't understand how their wives are able to wait constantly anxious. even when a special forces soldier is at home he can be called up at any moment. it means their wives are always waiting knowing that their man might not come back. i just had a heart to heart talk wants me and. he told me a lot about himself i asked more and more questions sometimes i didn't even have to ask. he just took whatever the subject was and elaborate on it. so when i asked my mother to send me my documents i didn't tell her i was going to sign a contract to serve in a special forces unit. and she might have guessed but she didn't know for sure

during my first deployment i was lying to her about where i was and what i was doing. that i can find the words to describe how it feels when you're super tense and anxious that every phone call every text message sets your teeth on edge you can or when he calls and tells you in that convoys of his own i'm good we're going on a mission for about five days maybe more don't worry i'll call as soon as i'm back with. us. hello camera. we had an exam passing it grants you the right to wear the special forces chevron and khaki. you know that's the first stage everyone tried really hard your game he was very strong willed i used to say stubborn and he would set goals for himself and you could see he was moving on to achieve them. if

that was a good thing when you set yourself a goal you try to achieve it at any cost. in spite of all that of the two hundred twenty two soldiers who took the exam only thirty three of those past. me and i were running in the same race this battle marsh's the main test those soldiers stamina. as you can. the purpose of the test is to make sure that we will know what it's like when you're utterly exhausted and still have to drag a fellow soldier along the waters that's a part of the special forces code under no circumstances will we ever leave one of

our guys on the battlefield you drag your friend because you know that his life is more important than your own. i passed the test on my first attempt and you get me on his second or third after passing that we could both probably hold our heads up high. in the i.c.u. the exam once in so did you have guinea. during the tests he was doing pushups i slapped him on the helmet and said to yourself together boy. a lot of things remind me of him to work together for example no i had to do it alone. just. to keep telling him we were doing exercises now i have to ask other guys.

i had nowhere to stay. time he agreed just like that he did the cleaning and i did the cooking so we lived together came home together slept in the same air bed woke up every morning and went to sirius together. that's enough with the time. time. if he hadn't covered the grenade with his body a lot of other guys would have done it in a split second he made a conscious decision and found the courage to throw himself on top of it. it was not for nothing semi-colon's slow witted grunts but we have a purpose. unless we come here is that russia may drown in chaos.

we took a dog holds a bubble with us on that mission you wouldn't want to bring your lawn the first is there was barely enough room in the truck and then we put her in her lap for everything. which was then she started behaving strangely. yogo and running friends keep back and forth whimpering. till she must've felt that she was about to die. but we went several meters along the path for the winds above us would have to the site you know there was a patch with no snow and we saw a hatch of that very moment it opened and militants started shooting from its. open file in the hatch and commanded to go for the attack a. sort of chain jumped ahead and suddenly the dog lets out a very loud how then she turned back and covered me with her own body and blocked

the machine gun thaw that the medicines were aiming strikes at me. i had to last press it was so long so lalage and then it was silence. i couldn't help myself after that i started crying for. the most part i'm very often on think about i've recently taken in a german shepherd puppy and i'm training him for comet tusks. but i notice that she resembles. the same look and he saw the laws just the way she did there is a very clear resemblance between the two of them. they

finish with the economic ups and downs in the final months they belong to the old sang i and the rest until you meet a little baby if briefly on a. steady stream of snowden related leaks no longer surprises but the all encompassing scope of spying still does he even online gamers have not been spared all the while the powers that be are hesitant to rein in the n.s.a. they appear only want to make legal what is no illegal is it time for an international bill of digital rights so you know if you're confident that the irish people won't be asked to step in and pick up the bail why be why the private banks

to enter the new cars instead after hopkins pleasure to confront not economically what always happens as. central bankers politicians they say this will never ever happen again and it keeps on happening but we have to ensure is that if this does company cat doesn't cause such a fuss at least make an awful cost for tots. in years of the money and of course my health isn't what it used to be before i was ruined but i'm trying to get back in shape right now i'm trying to get as fit as a special forces officer is supposed to be. but i'm preparing. my family and friends for the idea that i'm not going to resign if i try to explain to them there's no one who's ever going to take my place on the

missions we carry out i just have to learn the lesson of my wound. with him i enlisted in the army at the age of eighteen i was at college then finishing my first year i left when my summer examinations were in full swing and went to a suspect's nazi unit. i'm fully aware of what happened and what could have happened in that battle i've long since prepared myself for any possible outcome. of this there are still people who try to make me change my mind to convince me that i should resign how could i do that if it's what irene joy that's what i live for and.

just i'm not going to plan anything now these military services taught me one very important thing to make no plans for the future ever i could be returning from a combat mission with other guys now but fate decided otherwise. i was lucky to stay alive. now i'm going to mourn those who died to do what you. can of course so i would like to get it crimson. being a true warrior going to fill it with that's what i aspire to. but for now i have to focus on restoring my health and when the time comes i'll do my very best to pass the exam so that i too can wear their crimson pereira. where you can mensing an endurance test five sets of ten push ups ten pulling your legs unto your chest and ten jumps any questions or no questions will assume front support

position on my count. one two three. where you spence not soldier must progress and improve. you there's no point shouting that you're the toughest guy around of them because there's always someone tougher. to. steve. yes. it. is the job to get paid for it will take a certain delight in doing it in this world. there's no point thumping your chest and boasting about being a member of the special forces i never liked that sort of thing. people often mistake me for a period trooper or a marine but once called out in the street look there goes

a crimson berry. people are reluctant to sit next to me on the buses there are three. percent reason many believe that are boneheaded guerrillas who can't think properly are only good for hurting people and fighting for the. board a flight is what tells you if you are ready you don't know what will happen tomorrow and then what situations your skills might come in handy the more you exercise the more easily you pass the test it was easier for you to earn the crimson brave and some others it just means you work harder during the training. the aim of these exams is to test our physical fitness which i'm convinced there

are no limits to what the human body can do there are only psychological barriers and inspect even when you can't go on any longer and somehow you do it anyway. the most important thing is to break through the psychological barrier after that everything is easy. brother special forces. see it as blood. you convince yourself that you have to do it. if i hadn't passed the test i wouldn't have the chevrolet to seal me now. i also really want to go back where a on the uniform i'm. all these factors together were very powerful incentive for. you would wear this brain any weather even when it was freezing cold i remember him coming to save beer once to spend the winter holidays with me she got off the train

with the screams and berry and he's head people were turning to look at him because he ears were blue with cold but he was so proud to be able to wear the be re. soul of the party. hold jockey competitions within the squad and you get me took part in every one of them during missions we used to make of sketches his act was always brilliant at all. and i call them for people literally cried with laughter. you can tell must push the horse i'm. sure i'm. you know who i am sergeant do you know. if i keep going through this footage again and again and all the emotion i felt then washes over me again i can't seem to get my head around the

idea that he can he's no longer with us. but mostly when i went away on my first deployment i was very nervous but i'm from siberia and we went to the south of the country everything was different even the people that deployment was a long one it lasted a full ten months and it all seems so much easier now because i've got the hang of it at last. but we learned what our task would be twenty four hours before the attack the f.s.b. had informed us about a group of militants in a particular area we had to come the ground for them.

i saw a trodden path leading into a bush and noticed a hatch i pointed it out to the commander and at that moment i was wounded. i'm with the battle only lasted for about five maybe seven minutes. ever. thing happened very quickly with these the movie of the with. the terrorists were hiding out in their lead and the other half they were lying in ambush nearby and they started shooting at us from the bushes all of the same time and from several different directions. we the militants decided to try and break through it with her new guinea apple screaming grenade. we're going so i'm throwing himself onto it the explosion blew him or run his back and it was all over all of us.

moving when we approached the militants hideout they had the advantage because we weren't expecting an attack. that's why we suffered such losses. but we did retaliate well that we completed our task every single one got what was coming to them. and put up a number of if right after the assault we didn't know exactly who was wounded and who was killed so more later the commander reported casualties and said eve of his dead or you know i didn't believe in the tryst or who. in the neighborhood down all of them was took off my gear with me and cried. more to your journey wasn't duty on the night of the twenty fifth of january it stuck in my memory she words a laptop from one of the guys i switched on the computer in so that he wasn't skype the q. was looking at me on intently i asked what's that all the boat i haven't changed

we'll meet very soon and he answered no i want to see you now that's what i remember more than anything else. so on deployment everything is different to the group is more close knit when we start an operation there are fifteen soldiers with the commander in charge we know that our comrades and our commander won't leave us no matter how tough it gets we are team. so most of the military base is the place where your home and your family are. all that fuss will attract you but on a mission a man reveals his true colors a little after the first deployment but a lot of people leave special forces have a sea of some of them realize it's simply not for them those who do stay though

they will make up a reliable team so you won't be afraid of going anywhere with them even to the moon . when. the when some of our guys go on a combat mission. for you for the leave. for them to return safe and sound with no losses. school we say the number of beignets going out know the same coming back to their homeland. i passed the exam and now i can wear the special forces insignia everything's great i have no regrets now i'm thinking about signing up for a second tour of duty. i

mean people know me as. i'm able forty. sadly i've got no family. i'm still looking for my cold a good life. for my place in the world. i literally have no place to live. no. chewing on the bread that you bought with the last money you were able to beg and all i can say is get out of here. there are

only two possible outcomes to this situation you know how you go to miami and it's all about fancy cars hot chicks the other option you die in the ring. well. science technology innovation all the least developed from around russia we've got the future covered.

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