they were able to open fire first. was not. for a special forces soldier thinking is paramount but was done so he makes the right decisions. during that five militants tried to outflank the three soldiers led by. and started throwing hand grenades at them. both covered one of those grenades with his own body. of course i was frightened but i tried to compose myself i was thinking somehow i had to come back because mom was waiting for me this is a thought the chems you down mom's waiting. x. is a serious number for there. everyone of us is

ready for it well perhaps not completely ready to prepare yourself for death but we do know the risks we know what our task is and above all where it is that we see. that was the first loss my unit ever suffered. and the first loss under my command . general. just brave. good morning tape measure i often think of them especially if. it was different to all the other new recruits. he approached me and asked if he could enroll in my group who he wanted to serve in a special messy unit. i showed him a blank sheet from my notebook and said see the sheet that you too are a clean sheet at the moment it's up to you to prove yourself worthy like that everything's in your own hands. people have to make the decision themselves if

a man wants to put himself to the test to go through this trial then he must do so also becoming a soldier was always my ambition to work. or if. i'm usually the singer is a chosen arbitrarily fall in love with the first is mostly the soldier with the loudest voice. in this regard to you again it was always the best when he sang in the school choir and was never even barest. you can so he had no problem saying that army with so many people listening to him. we both thought there was still plenty of time before he left town so when the

fifteenth of november when he had to go eventually came around because we spent the whole night packing his things and hurried on and he has a sweet tooth he had one so have his huge hold all was crammed to the break with snickers chocolate bars and other sweets a lot of hysteria taking warm clothes out to because they didn't fit but he wouldn't allow me to touch the suite and. that was completely out of the question the fact. now is that you. have to ask i just knew that everything would be fine for some reason we were so confident because we were going to get married officially after he came back with everything was planned or what even sent out invitations how could he not come back with evidence that the mere thought of it never crossed our minds sorry i can't.

i heard somewhere that heroes and cowards feel exactly the same things when the difference is that the hero moves on anyway while the card steps back. but up on the case national to be afraid every deployment feels like the first ever seen repeats itself everyone scared while getting ready for the mission i never think i'm invincible in mosul fearless nothing like that we're lies that event off of the mission in the classroom we drew plans of the conflicts. this usually takes the best of us because the bases are always up front because

they're the quickest to make decisions like you get the app of did during that fight. that there was a. surprise. good. this was the so-called terrorist group which in just one year before that fight carried out several terror attacks inside pakistan these people were fanatics but abandoned normal life for them life had become war. killed me. they took part in attacks on the security services. they were directly involved in killing law enforcement officers. and they were responsible for terror attacks in the town of. in fact the whole area in dagestan.

the special forces are an isolated community i can't understand how their wives are able to wait constantly anxious. even when a special forces soldier is at home he can be called up at any moment. it means their wives are always waiting knowing that their man might not come back. just had a heart to heart talk wants me and. he told me a lot about himself i asked more and more questions sometimes i didn't even have to ask. he just took whatever the subject was and elaborate on that. when i asked my mother to send me my documents i didn't tell her i was going to sign a contract to serve in a special forces unit. and she might have guessed but she didn't know for sure

during my first deployment i was lying to her about where i was and what i was doing. that i can't find the words to describe how it feels when you're super tense and anxious that every phone call every text message sets your teeth on edge you can or when he calls and tells you in that convoy some his when i'm good we're going on a mission for about five days maybe more don't worry i'll call as soon as i'm back home with. us. no cameras. so we had an exam passing it grants you the right to wear the special forces chevron and khaki or a little boy that's the first stage everyone tried really hard your game he was very strong willed i used to say stubborn rules and he would set goals for himself and you could see he was moving on to achieve them.

conform with a good thing when you set yourself a goal you try to achieve it at any cost. in spite of all that of the two hundred twenty two soldiers who took the exam only thirty three of those past. gainey and i were running in the same race this battle marsh is the main test those soldiers stamina. as you can. the purpose of the test is to make sure that we will know what it's like when you're utterly exhausted and still have to drag a fellow soldier along the borders that's a part of the special forces code under no circumstances will we ever leave one of

our guys on the battlefield you drag your friend because you know that his life is more important than your own. eyes. i passed the test on my first attempt and you get me on his second or third after passing that we could both probably hold our heads up high. you know i think the exam once in so did you have guinea. during the tests he was doing pushups i slapped him on the helmet and said together boy. a lot of things remind me of him to work together for example no i had to do it alone. just. to keep telling him we were doing exercises now i have to ask other guys.

i had nowhere to stay. time he agreed just like that he did the cleaning and i did the cooking so we lived together came home together slept in the same air bed woke up every morning and went to sirius together. with the time. time. if he hadn't covered the grenade with his body a lot of other guys would have done it in a split second he made a conscious decision and found the courage to throw himself on top of it. it was not for nothing semi-colon's slow witted grunts but we have a purpose. unless we come here is that russia may drown in chaos. we took a dog holds

a bubble with us on that mission you wouldn't want to bring your lawn the first is there was barely enough room in the truck and then we put her in her lap for a group. which was then she started behaving strangely. yogo and running friends keep back and forth whimpering. till she must've felt that she was about to die. but we went several metres along the path for the winds above us would have to the sight of you there was a patch with no snow and we saw a hatch of that very moment it opened and militants started shooting from it. i open file in the hatch and commanded to go for the attack a. sort of jump ahead and suddenly the dog less house and very loud how then she turned back and covered me with her own body and blocked the

machine gun thawed that the medicines were aiming strikes at me. i had to last press it was so long so lalage and then it was silence. i couldn't help myself off that i started crying for. the most part i'm very often on think about i've recently taken in a german shepherd puppy and i'm training him for comet tusks. but i notice that she resembles. the same look and he saw. the way she did it there is a very clear resemblance between the two of them. with

economic ups and downs in the final months day the deal sank night and the rest of the life making it will be everything. right from the sea. first trip. and i think the trip. on our reporters twitter. and instagram. be in the know.

they look like bounty garlands where the locals can enjoy the song and the ocean. but what was buried here years ago. means these people are suffering the consequences. how much more poison lies on the ground. behind this zone there is what we call the callet bank on which there is a deposit of plutonium left by security test which caused the dispersion of radio nuclides despite previous cleaning efforts there remains a deposit of a little less than two kilos of plutonium stuck in the rock the coral reef about ten metres down yuki attests a never ending legacy. you know because germany. hold the power to hold

a book called the reproductive blower and ultimate flew through both woods or meet so soon to be able to put words to the media or or get real to your speaking about to the region the whole reason that is going through a big trade this. so well in germany is ukraine they say has greece and spain italy so many other every piece of land in beach they could bring siemens they could bring better bangs they could extend their boat if there were one million people country it's a munches. it

is the will of course my health isn't what it used to be before i was wounded but i'm trying to get back in shape right now i'm trying to get as fit as a special forces officer is supposed to be. i'm preparing my family and friends for the idea that i'm not going to resign if i tried to explain to them there's no one who's ever going to take my place on the missions we carry out i just have to learn the lesson of my wound. i enlisted in the army at the age of eighteen i was at college then finishing my first year i left when my summer examinations were in full swing and went to a suspect's nazi unit with. you know i'm fully aware of what happened and what

could have happened in that battle i've long since prepared myself for any possible outcome. there are still people who try to make me change my mind to convince me that i should resign how could i do that if it's what i remember joy that's what i live for and. just i'm not going to plan anything now use military service has taught me one very important thing to make no plans for the future ever i could be returning from a combat mission with other guys now but fate decided otherwise. i was lucky to stay alive. now i'm going to mourn those who died when you.

can of course i would like to get a crimson. being a true warrior and that's what i aspire to. but for now i have to focus on restoring my health and when the time comes i'll do my very best to pass the exam so that i too can wear their crimson. with only a very convincing an endurance test five sets of ten push ups ten pulling your legs on to your chest and ten jumps any questions or no questions will assume front support position on my count. one two three. where you as spetznaz soldier must progress and improve. you there's no point shouting that you're the toughest guy around of them because there's always someone tougher. yet. is the job to get paid for.

and take a certain delight in doing in this world. there's no point thumping your chest and boasting about being a member of the special forces i never liked that sort of thing. people often mistake me for a period trooper or a marine but once called out in the street look there goes a crimson berry. people are reluctant to sit next to me on the buses they're free. for some reason many believe that are boneheaded guerrillas who can't think properly and they're only good for hurting people and fighting the good work of the.

board a flight is what tells you if you are ready you don't know what will happen tomorrow and then what situations your skills might come in handy the more you exercise the more easily you pass the test it was easier for you to earn the crimson brave and some others it just means you work harder during the training. the aim of these exams is to test our physical fitness which i'm convinced there are no limits to what the human body can do there are only psychological barriers and inspects now even when you can't go on any longer and somehow you do it anyway . the most important thing is to break through the psychological barrier after that everything is easy. brother special forces. see it as blood. you convince yourself

but you have to do it. if i hadn't passed the test i wouldn't have the chevrolet to seal me now. i also really want to go back where a on the uniform i'm. all these factors together were very powerful incentive for me. he would wear this brain any weather even when it was freezing cold i remember him coming to save beer once to spend the winter holidays with me she got off the train with the screams and berry and he's head people were turning to look at him because he ears were blue with cold but he was so proud to be able to wear the b. ray. of the party. hold jockey competitions within the squad and you get he took part in every one of them during missions we used to make of sketches his act was always brilliant. and got

called on for people literally cried with laughter. you can tell must push the horse i'm. sure i'd. do you know who i am sergeant do you know. if i keep going through this footage again and again and all the emotion i felt then washes over me again i can't seem to get my head around the idea that if then he's no longer with us. but mostly when i went away on my first deployment i was very nervous but i'm from siberia and we went to the south of the country everything was different even

the people that deployment was a long one it lasted a full ten months it all seems so much easier now because i've got the hang of it at last. but we learned what our task would be twenty four hours before the attack the f.s.b. had informed us about a group of militants in a particular area we had to come the ground for them. i saw a trodden path leading into a bush and noticed a hatch i pointed it out to the commander and at that moment i was wounded. i'm with the battle only lasted for about five maybe seven minutes. ever. thing happened very quickly with these the movie of the with half the terrorists were hiding out in their lead and the other half they were lying in ambush nearby and

they started shooting at us from the bushes all of the same time and from several different directions. we the militants decided to try and break through it with her you again yap of screaming grenade and. we're going so i'm throwing myself onto it the explosion blew him over on his back and it was all over all of us. moving when we approached the militants hideout they had the advantage because we weren't expecting an attack. that's why we suffered such losses. but we did retaliate well that we completed our task every single one got what was coming to them. and hear the number if right after the assault we didn't know exactly who was wounded and who was killed so more later the commander reported

casualties and said give us his dead or you know i didn't believe in the tryst or who. in the neighborhood down all of them was took off my gear with me and cried. more to you jamie was in duty on the night of the twenty fifth of january and stuck in my memory it's a laptop from one of the guys i switched on the computer in so that he wasn't skype the q. was looking at me on intently i asked what's that all the boat i haven't changed we'll meet very soon and he answered no i want to see you now that's what i remember more than anything else. so on deployment everything is different the group is more close knit when we start an operation there are fifteen soldiers with the commander in charge we know that our comrades and our commander won't leave us

no matter how tough it gets we are team. so most of the military base is the place where your home and your family are. all that fuss will attract. but on a mission a man reveals his true colors will after the first deployment but a lot of people leave special forces of the sea of some of them realize it's simply not for them those who do stay though make up a reliable team so you won't be afraid of going anywhere with them even to the moon . with. the when some of our guys go in a combat mission. floor before they leave. for them to return safe and

sound with no losses. school we say the number of beignets going oh no should be the same coming back to their homeland. i passed the exam and now i can wear the special forces insignia everything's great i have no regrets now i'm thinking about signing up for a second tour of duty. i

play this dream cleaner who's in love with a waitress i go on stage managing that there's an audience i used to take drugs and drink like a fish called the police who told me about the circus but i was such a punk i was like one of what circus. school or circus of clinton's benefit and would break down stereotypes about kids from disadvantaged backgrounds. played. played.

played. lead. i. to teach me.

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