larry king now rob delaney the king of twitter on his rise to fame for me i mean it was a mental adjustment it was really achieving peace with the fact that i was a deadly menace to the world and why don't i get to the root of what made me totally ok with killing myself hurdles are good things that like it's good that it's hard to get you know in front of a camera it's good that it's hard to have success in like the entertainment or the journalistic for it should be i think plus fun to think that behind every pretty face is a skill that will shriek in a box for millennia it's like the opposite of a poem that makes me not want to go home all next on larry king now.

we're going to larry again our special guest rob delaney a writer and stand up comic he has more than nine hundred seventy nine thousand followers on twitter comedy central named in the funniest person on twitter his book mother wife sister human warrior found in the yard stick turban cabbage is out now jimmy kimmel my good friend says is a book is this funny weird wet and wonderful as rob delaney himself how did you come to write this well i've been doing pretty graphic old stand up and i've written a lot of articles for vice magazine and then publisher came and saw my show in new york and said do you want to write a book and i said be a do and so i was basically i mean i despise or too i had submitted book proposals in the past and publishers are agents have been like no thanks but then i guess once you get a little heat or whatever then people start to pay attention. flying later say i

will read this book on the plane will get into more later but what can i generally expect rob well it's it's a humorous memoir you know it's essays about my life and i'm young i'm thirty six so it could be argued i had no business writing a memoir yet but i just have been doing stand up for long enough that i try to refract my you know world experiences through my addled mind and put them together in a funny manner so that's what i try to do you have voted the funniest person on twitter who voted you know i guess comedy central viewers i think they they had the it would be award one year and then i guess people were upset that i want to they haven't had the awards again they did not have him the following year so i think that might mean i'm the funniest on twitter in perpetuity you beat out steve but stephen called their yeah which makes it seem like it must not be a real award if i won let's take a look at this twitter picture you wearing a bright green speedo. you have

a beard. explain this ok i do own that bathing suit i do wear it however i wear it under my wetsuit i live near the beach and my wife and i will swim even in the winter and a wetsuit is a good idea during that time and you can't really fit big bulky trunks under there so thus the speedo i was going to put it on one day and my friend said hey you look terrible let me take a picture and i said certainly and i posed in and that regal manner and then when twitter came about people say you know i thought it sounded stupid when we first ever heard of it that i thought i'll put up a terrible picture because this isn't going to go anywhere and lo and behold some years later it's still there a lot of people don't like it which delights me i like it thank you thank you larry what took you to twitter well i was joined at the beginning of two thousand and nine and at that point i was doing i was talking to comedian mike birbiglia last night and we were commiserating about the old days when we used to spend more money

on a plane ticket to get to a gig than we would get paid to do the gig so you'd actually lose a little bit of money to do a gig and so i was in a hotel outside of minneapolis and i heard that i heard about twitter and i said i guess i'll sign up maybe i can promote gigs on it and stuff like that and then as the months progressed myself and other comedians realize hey this is a pretty good place for jokes which i do think it's really that is it's best use is to is to try out jokes for the stage well i send out football predictions or make some comment on politicians i don't know why i do it i have two million six hundred thousand followers i do it you know but i i guess i don't know and i don't get it you know i get it but i don't get it yeah well it's like i'm like done going to the grocery store today no those are the worst i own follow people and they do that i don't want to. be the grew of an obsession with bodily functions though run a little bit do what is going on i can't. found that i think that there are our

bodies you know we've all got one and they produce so much discomfort and wonder and i think people try to disconnect big it we get embarrassed by our bodies but really this is where it's at you know we're born with it we're going to die with it nothing else is really it's just sort of our laboratory that we experience everything through so i might one day transcend the body and move into other areas but it's enough so far for me so i think the human body is a cool place and a funny place where you can get a lot of material is there anything off limits no no certainly not. gone too far do you think here's the thing i like people i'm a humanist i try to be kind so even though all swayer or be dirty i try not to be mean and i do think that when i say nothing is off limits i believe that there's ways people should behave and you should try to let you know kind of behavior guide the way you operate in the world but like i don't want to hurt people but i do

think you know if you're to talk about a controversial controversial subject you can do it in a way that tries to make the world a better place so we're talking about terrible things that's ok how do people respond to you generally pretty positively you know because you're not no you're not forced to follow me you're not forced to attend one of my shows so if people do they usually are buying a ticket with money they earned at their job so they do a little homework first so nobody's usually blown out of the water get a lot of comments on your tweets more than i can read you at this point it's bananas and i well you do a joke in no time and on the jokes oh yeah and sometimes people are very funny with my favorite things about twitter is how democratizing and egalitarian it is because i can somebody will write something back to me that's ten times funnier than what i professional comedian wrote and that is just delightful to me when somebody and you know a mechanic and topeka write something i'm like that's funnier than me that makes

man see any danger in that when everyone is kind of a journalist. yeah i do i think that that you can spread a rumor yeah hurdles are good things that like it's good that it's hard to get you know in front of a camera it's good that it's hard to have success in like the entertainment or the journalistic rate should be i think so so you do have to be careful usually things if some misinformation gets published get corrected pretty quickly but yeah you know don't what the hell yeah but you also take on some serious subjects why why well because a human life has a lot of ingredients in it you know it's not just humor even if you're a comedian so and i had a couple pretty gnarly things happen in my life one i was in a very bad drunk driving car accident that i was responsible for i drove into a building the l.a. department of water and power by pico and fairfax eleven years ago and i i knew that my drinking could kill me back then but when i realized it could hurt or kill

or ruin other people's lives i said i don't want to do that so i got sober after that and it was pretty dramatic i mean i was in jail in a wheelchair both my arms were broken and that's bad you know you don't want to go lower than that so for me it was time to put the plug the agenda you got rid of it stopped being an alcoholic well you know the whole like oh definitely yeah and for me i mean it was a mental adjustment it was really achieving peace with the fact that i was a deadly menace to the world and once i kind of accepted that and i had plenty of time to think again i mean my arms were broken i had surgery on all four limbs even though my legs were broken i have surgery so i had a real opportunity to reflect and i realize you know i don't want to i don't want to kill anybody you know and why don't i get to the root of what made me totally ok with killing myself and get married to no i hadn't met my wife it thank goodness also drove about mental illness yeah i also after i stopped drinking version after

i stopped drinking i got depressed and not. like i didn't get the blues i got like as bad as it gets suicidal oh yeah and gave suicide very serious thought and there were two episodes of that that were real bad and so i started going to a psychiatrist started taking medication talk therapy and it helped and now i'm a reasonably happy person and a dad and a husband i'm here with you that medication hope big time i don't proselytize i'm not a doctor so i can't say it'll help everybody i can say it helped me and i took it this morning before we gets for me. one other thing when you will clinton blaming the suicide yeah what was going through your mother because it's impossible for me to i've interviewed many people who were discuss the subject over the fifty years of interviewing. that leap is suicide. or chicken

i almost would try to really like remove it from that process because when i talk about depression the book i talk almost exclusively about exclusively about the physical symptoms because people think like it's sad the physical symptoms that accompany it like i would the first thing i would do when i would wake up would be throw up you know i that my body like with pain it was really crazy so what i tried to do is i tried to think like well i definitely want to kill myself and i would think i probably should but then i realized you know what i try to step out of myself and i was like what if a friend was saying these things what i tell him you should kill yourself and i thought no i wouldn't i would help him and so i tried to pretend i was somebody else i was like just try to step outside and observe yourself and you know you're not so bad that you don't deserve help so i went to the doctor and it worked out gradually over time so let's go to other areas i salute you and you thank you well your job to those in french i lived in france for a year and so i do speak french and i just thought it would be really pretentious

for an american comedian scumbag to title his chapters in french but i don't know what it means i know and i love that i love that if somebody wants to know they got to do so. pick up a dictionary or you know a translation thing you don't know much about your wife in the book correct that is true i know because i a she is a civilian and i love her very much and i'm a i'm the clown so if i want to trot out all my insanity i'll die i will i do but for other people privacy it has value and so i just if she wants to do some public be my guest what does she think of your insanity she is i think that she generally is finds it endearing for the most part she's very funny she's one of the funniest people i've ever met she's brilliant so she makes me laugh every single day and yes she's a quote twit yeah i have not too long ago she looked at the way that i was dressed

and she was like she's like you know sometimes you dress like a little boy she said because i do and she goes and sometimes you dress like a dad i do good and she goes but you never dress like a man and that maybe you'll have the prison just such a wonderful insult you know they were. i have two male children one is approaching a year and i want to two and a half so i have two boys under three in my house so it is a zoo fourteen months apart do what i mean what do you mean thirteen what's it like for you is the greatest thing that's ever happened i would do it again in a second even though last night you know what both woke up in the middle of night more nightmare people are you a good dad i think so because if you're not a good dad when they're this young they'll die so once i get older once we get older we'll find out like can i have a conversation with them can i teach them about consequences and things like that jury's out and i had good doubt of young children yes would you be happy to have

your kids as they grow up read all your tweets will be ok with me because i think that they're they'll only see those things years after they've gotten to know me as a stodgy boring sedentary sort of god. in the corner so hopefully they'll think that first and then i'll be like oh and he wrote some stupid jokes you can make money tweeting and you know you can make money by tweeting a link to that book or you know come see me and st louis next rob will sound off on some other headline don't go with. technology innovation all the developments from around russia we've got the future covered. you know the play. the limbic spirit travels with the flame from its place

in greece. joining james brown for an elemental and epic journey around russia and beyond. where i think must become ground zero. plus time of the new alert animation scripts scare me a little bit. there is breaking news tonight and we are continuing to follow the breaking news. alexander's family cry tears

of joy at it great things out there that have read dark and a court of law found alive there's a story made for that movie is playing out in real life. back with rob delaney the book is mother wife just a human warrior felt in the yard stick turban and cabbage let's play a word association game and i'll name someone first thing to come see him on justin bieber silly mike tyson muscles lindsey lowe then. auburn. barack obama the boss came. no thanks i'm here putin tough guy miley cyrus. kind you just. create. you value political sure

your tweets sometimes target huge corporations political organizations you've addressed tweets to some well known politicos let's go over some of your recent directivity up on the board brought obama my name but cameron called me smelling a bicycle seat and is threatening to leave the country so the new immigration bill stopped her. yeah now how do you come up with that i just i like the idea of you know the all these new technologies allow you to at least pretend or think that you're reading this like he didn't see that he'll never see that but i like the idea of a crazy person thinking our wall tell the president that i have an insane it crush on my neighbor so this is the ridiculousness of that makes me laugh and the next one is john boehner i like to watch dirty women play volleyball what the hell does that mean i don't know if you know what i was jogging with my kids and i haven't

stroller and i was on a beach and i saw some sturdy women playing volleyball it made me very happy and i thought nobody will care but if i tell john boehner that in public the speaker of the house then that will at least make people uncomfortable and that's good enough for me you haven't heard from him he has not ring me back on that so john mr speaker if you're watching i'd like to know what you think about that and here's the other tweets from the mind of rob delaney parents who bring toys to the playgrounds for their kids. for everyone else and should have their kids taken away and sold oh that's not even a joke i really mean that why isn't the same and the playground equipment enough isn't a sun i can't i mean that so perfectly prior to eating on thanksgiving you tweeted crushing book is a protein powder and bristle grain down my toilet to get it warmed up for the main event i think that once major itself it does in a way mixed so i'm dipping good behind every pretty faces

a skull that will shriek in a box for millennia. this is so wonderful that's painful it is here and you read these this is really the grandmother would you want us to go a really beautiful woman and know that pretty faces will be a skill that will shriek in above. it's like the opposite of a poem that makes me not want to go home. jet blue zion a seed for a on this flight to austin is lowering and it sounds like the donkey thought ing into a bowl of mayonnaise shame on you that happened to you i would have bet there was a man snoring and he was in for a i thought when i said that i was like should i make up a fake seat but he people know you have critics oh it oh yeah there are people who hate me. and we had a twitter feud with anyone not really because i was lucky enough to sort of any

notoriety that i had came after the internet was already here so i had seen people and like observe them getting into fights with people and it's never it's almost like walking by dog poop on the street and saying like oh i hate dog poop but then to get a fight somebody has to like step in it and carry around with you i want to do that you are well known now do you like thame. defame period know what it affords me yes you'd like. i can pay my living pay my bills with stand up money that's that's insane yes i love it i'm strange canon counters. sometimes because i perform live a lot and there's a thing i had didn't start it but people will say like ask you to sign their boobs and i will not sign women's boob speak i like boobs they're great the way they are why would i ruin them with my signature so i've been asked to sign boobs and no i won't do that what what is your stand up act like it's the book i would say is

pretty reflective of it i am very personal although i tweet political stuff my standup isn't political at all it's much more family body interpersonal politics sexual politics men and women that type of stuff life you know life do you do you have a favorite monologist of favors stand up of all time it would be richard pryor because he was so deeply personal and he had such a joy for life even when he was just in the gutter you know in what he was talking about in his own life experiences just sublime so i hear later room two hundred in a lot of ways and he had great delivery as well you can't beat it were you a funny kid. no i don't think that i was funny until i got to maybe junior high or high school i guess that's still a kid but when i was

a young kid i was very serious and i read an all the time and while in depression were you funny. funny the first time you know during both of them i was i was doing comedy and it was on stage were were like islands of comfort for me and so yeah i did and that was instructive i was like whoa this is because you feel that endorphin blast you know when you're performing and so it was yeah i did performs i'm told was and the people have told me they could be backstage so it was terrible low on walk up to members and then go back and be depressed since they got off stage i wish that i could dispute that but i can't we have some social media questions for you something you should be familiar with my gold crabcake. tweets was there a single tweet that really got the ball rolling for you if so what was it you know i think the biggest one and you said some swear so i can you know right where i

said i think from first one that really kind of took off i said i love the taste of the period but it has to be that was a terrible way to say why did i say period let me start again when i love the taste of but it has to be honest it can't be like on pizza or in yogurt that good a baby is wolves vague zose will sway goes says you tweet a lot of random crude things that celebrities ever received any backlash you know i think jessica simpson blocked me on twitter because i did and i try to be respectful because i kind of like her and think she's cool and so i would just write stuff that was like flirty but she just wasn't apparently into it so i have i'm sorry jessica to goes even urban from facebook what inspires you and can you make somebody left even when you're in the bad mood. yeah even because i can even

make my discomfort seem funny for others i'm a little as a comedian if i'm like in pain i recognize well that might make other people happy and you know being that sort of a clown personality so yes i can make people laugh if i'm a sadder in a bad mood and i don't remember her first question and you can take your game to the stage and you know oh the first was what inspires you the. brooklyn mater bagel company and i've been there many times and i love it. at the end of every show we play a game called if you only knew remember the first girl you have a kissed yeah her name was tara and it was it was in nursery school and we were i had i think just graduated from like diapers to under ruse and i had superman underuse on and she had on wonder woman underuse and we were like well i think that means we're supposed to be married so we kissed well where was this or this is it it was on

a jungle gym that the jewish community center in marblehead massachusetts. you know ever know what happened i don't know the moment you knew you had made it. i think when i was able to quit my day job in two thousand and ten that that to me is it because i was already married and my wife and at the end my wife was pregnant so i was like the only making it to me at that point was having money in the bank there's not even money in the bank money to pay rent always had a job by that point i was supplementing my income by working at a call center by the airport trying to sell a terrible financial newspaper i would call people that would you like this terrible newspaper and they would say nope i'm very sorry to bother you and making less than minimum wage doing so really boring the worst begin splurge because splurge this watch i bought and the funny thing is i bought it a long time ago what is there although it is a rolex and i bought it because i had a day job at the time and paid rather well not well enough to buy this i paid for

with a credit card and then when i got then when i was doing comedy full time i got so broken so in debt that i would look at this and i would use it as a reminder i would look i'd say like what time is it time to go to work so i would use a does motivate me so now i'll never get rid of it but i'll also never buy my thing self anything nice again what makes you nervous being nervous. every time i fly in a plane i fall asleep as soon as it takes off and then i have a graphic nightmare that the plane crashes and i fly all the time and it happens every time i fly and since i'm sober i can't take like xanax or whatever so every time i get a plane i like go temporarily insane. the. i don't like it when people burp it loud i don't mind when people do it from the other end when they burp i'm like what's go on and i know it's a pet peeve because it doesn't make sense most surprising thing about you i have a bachelor of fine arts in musical theater from n.y.u.

you're kidding know you sing oh yeah i sing the national anthem for the dodgers and the red sox of done each like five times. i go to a got to see you as i was yeah i'll let you know next time i do it that's terrific yeah it's so real was your goal to be in musical theater and then i just read school yeah and then my senior year at n.y.u. i started going to see live comedy and i said oh that's what i want to do so i still love musicals and i will do them again but. for now it's comedy but of a broadway show if they revived the show you would go and ask you to be in you'd be in yeah i just got asked to do an off broadway show a musical that's doing very well right now but i can't do it because i want to be in london when it happens but yeah so it's going to happen but i don't know how you work it all the time no thank goodness for the moment yes you know away from home a lot then i try to schedule at some home for like two or three weeks without

interruption and then go out for like four days and then come right back so i tried to be home as much as possible biggest regret biggest regret oh it's in this book my mom made me a birthday cake when i was thirteen and she made it by hand and she put my favorite rock band on it this band called danzig and she gave it to me and i was like mom there are go bad as well they should be out of cake and she was so sad and i and so she like smeared it off and replaced it with like chocolate jimmies and was like here you go and i was like thanks mom and i wish i could go back in time and be like mommy i love the cake i have all the worst things of the day was when i heard my mother terrible that's the worst can't do it the way forget it but the love i don't well you do both so i try to figure out thank you so much rob the lady thank you my guess is very funny the letter remember you can find me on twitter it came to the news. thank you.

the conflict. over the place to do its job did you know the price is the only industry specifically mention in the constitution and. that's because a free and open press is critical to our democracy trek albus. in fact the single biggest threat facing our nation today is the corporate takeover of our government and out across several we've been hijacked lying handful of transnational corporations that will profit by destroying what our founding fathers one school class i'm talking mark and on this show we reveal the big picture of what's actually going on on the world we go beyond identifying the problem trucks rational debate and a real discussion critical issues facing america to find ready to join the movement

then welcome to the big picture. i've got a quote for you. it's pretty tough to. say where it's not story. let's give this guy like you would smear about time instead of working for the people oh titian's the mainstream media were pretty much on the bridegroom's vision. problem because. they didn't read it well. were. happy friday people i'm having martin and this is breaking that so we all know that the intelligence community would love nothing more than apprehend n.s.a.

leaker edward snowden in pearl raised him around and from the world as an example of what happens to whistleblowers in this country what i didn't know is that some n.s.a. employees. want to take it a step further you know to american psycho levels according to buzz feed several pentagon and n.s.a. officials have anonymously expressed their desire to murder snowden a current n.s.a. analyst told the web site that quote in a world where i would not be restricted from killing an american i personally would go and kill him myself a lot of people share the sentiment wait a minute we do live in a world where drones kill american citizens what i waited for another anonymous pentagon official told buzz feed that he or she would love to put a bullet in snowden's head and an army official offered a detailed fantasy of how the murder would go down valving injecting him with poison you know just so nice to know that jack the ripper and freddy krueger are the ones in charge of responsiblity mining all of our personal data.