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tv   Larry King Now  RT  October 2, 2017 9:00pm-9:30pm EDT

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success. is. definition of success for me i want to. live a fully charged and connected and contributing life and for that me in charge i want to have energy you know i want to have your energy. and i want to be connected with the people i love my family my friends my team people we serve and i want to make my own and on making a difference there's this myth that you know if you're really achieving a lot in life you must be miserable you know you must feel like you're scared all the time and work twenty four seven but that's not true high performers to be able to maintain success over the long term take care of yourself and as you take care
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of yourself you can learn what's meaningful for you to learn what makes you happy do you think that the highest paid people would necessarily be the highest performing but there's a lot of highly paid people who don't do any. plus i am not a famous for being in morning person but when i do get up i have three twenty minute routines i do every morning first one all next on larry king now. larry king special guest is one of my good friends one of the most talented people i know bread. he's one of the most successful coaches in the world today brandon is a new york times best selling author whose videos have been viewed over one hundred million times online he consults and coaches people like global winfrey arianna huffington usher and many many more. today we'll be talking about his new book hard
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performance habits how extraordinary people become that way when's it coming out september nineteenth this is your what book six book and this one took ten years of research of my personal experience three years of academic research which was hard for me because i'm not an academic or a psychologist and it's the work of my life what are high performance it's these are the deliberate things you do to achieve long term success so it's not luck it's not just having passion it's what you actually have to do what to daily routine or on earth sort of a ritual basis to make sure you stay on your game and accomplish what your goals are the great baseball general manager branch rickey once said luck is the residue of design i love make you look it's very true and we found that this is you know a long term academic sort of research project and over one hundred thousand
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subjects interviewed pulled the data did everything we could and there's no question luck isn't the thing it's that these people have deliberate habits they do on a consistent basis and they gave the edge and where do they form the naturally know a lot and by necessity they just they're they're back at the wall and suddenly they need to see clarity or they got really got burned out so they had to figure out how to manage their energy or they weren't as productive as their peers so they had to learn to get productive or nobody listened to them so they learned they had to get influence most people don't know that these are the habits they need so that's what we came out of the research but most people who had it almost didn't know it was almost unconscious competence and this is performance in all areas yeah i form it is basically how do you succeed over the long term beyond standard measures so how do you get your peers how do you get your performance last year but the challenge is i think most people are just kind of happenstance they show up every day and they say well just be myself and. i hope that is enough but
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a lot of people work hard or they're passionate or they follow their strengths and yet they're not breaking through and they're not breaking through because it didn't know what to do this equate accomplishment is interesting can you have high performance and be very happy as a very good bus driver absolutely yeah and you actually have to be happy. so high performance is correlated with well being and happiness so there's this myth that you know if you're really achieving a lot in life that you must be miserable you know you must feel like you're scared all the time and work twenty four seven but that's not true high performers to be able to maintain success over the long term you have to care of yourself and as you take care of yourself you learn what's meaningful for you you learn what makes you happy and so we found the high performers were actually more happy than their peers do you go to your strength or gun your weaknesses you know i think it's a little bit of a false dichotomy to have to do both you know i think they're both really important
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but i do believe the myths that you have to only follow your strengths is wrong because strength is based on the idea that we have innate strikes you're just born that way but high performers had to learn so many new tools and so many new skill sets and so many that put so many hours in to become really good at something that strikes where there but we asked high performers how much time they spent working on their strengths they don't work on their strengths any more than the average person so that's not what gave him the edge will gave the edge where the six habits of the book what is shards definition of success for me i want to. live a fully charged and connected and contributing life for that me in charge i want to have energy you know i want to have your energy in it and i want to be connected with the people i love my family my friends my team the people we serve and i want to make i want to know i'm making
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a difference but that's my general definition of success in my career you know obviously i want my books the bestsellers i want my courses to be popular and and i can't just rely on what i'm naturally good at to do they're driven financially i haven't ever been my parents as you know you know working two full time jobs raising four kids we were just above the poverty line. my goals would be in my career was forty thousand dollars i thought if i ever made forty thousand dollars in my life avi rich because i'm from butte montana i want to make two or also a week that was yours that doesn't take note of your values or your wall that i thought forty thousand that would be maybe a million dollars to me and so i've never really been financially driven and we found a high performers are too high performance isn't correlated with how much you get paid or your overall wealth at all which you would think that the highest paid people would necessarily be the highest performing but there's a lot of highly paid people in government who don't do anything. with learning.
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what do high performers do with the terrible things in life death loss. tragedy your house burns down your child. is that of a pastor affect your heart performance yet because this life is a life of the number one habit of high performance is seeking clarity high performer see clarity more consistently other people so that means they also set intentions more than other people so when they're going through difficult times they define the feelings they want to experience from even though they're they know they're going through a death in the family and they feel sadness like we all would they in their mind they say how do i want this experience what's the meaning i want to take away from it how do i want to feel how i want to treat the other people around me what do i want to stand for as i go through this doesn't make it necessarily any easier because losses loss but because they're seeking clarity of what's meaningful to
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them and how they want to feel they get through it faster that's you're very productive number one podcast multiple bestselling books public speaking engagements. do you have a strategy i do and i need one started young didn't become the silly productive until i was nineteen in my car accident you are a young age inspired me to want to live another life i'd thought i knew early died and. i was terrified enough to get sort of more ality motivation morality and i want to live a better quality of life but i became productive because i knew i wanted to make a difference and i realized life is short as soon as the life is short you get more productive the third have a high performance is to raise necessity and what that means is high performers say why must i for form well here and there always raising the necessity so they get more emotional commit and they say i need to do this for my parents or i need to do this because that person will beat me but they're constantly levelling that
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necessity where they feel like they have to do something and a lot and do it because they feel like life is short if i don't do this now or take advantage of this deal now or lose the deal or i might die or might not have the opportunity later on and i think that's what made me productive is really when you talk to photos we first surveyed over one hundred thousand people who claim to be high performers surveyed the questionnaire questionnaire full one hundred eighty three different variables and we built into understand where they really high performers are not then the ones whose claim that they were we broke it down and said ok let's see if we can prove it by interviewing them interviewing their peers seeking objective measures how will they do it work narrowed all it down to those that we knew for sure were high performers and then did more assessments to see what is it that makes them tick how do they think what they do there in a day how they overcome difficulties how do they project manage to leave manage their schedule and all of that really helped us realize one of the other habits is
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they're more productive than other people these are all people we would know these high performance people by name by name sure but you know him because you work with them it turns out about the. fifteen percent of the public are high performers so if you go into company the top fifteen percent of people were getting stuff done and probably highest rated in their peer reviews those are probably the high performers there what role does optimism play in our performance a lot of these people who jump out of bed in the morning not always like me i'm not a morning person at all i'm a night owl so i might not jump out of but when it comes time to get at it they're very optimistic and what we found with their mindset is they look at the future in four different ways with four specific intentions high performers ask themselves first and foremost who do i want to be not who am i which is the strengths based movement right the strength base who am i would my good at instead high performers go who do i need to become and what do i need to get good at to succeed there then they have intentions for their social situations how do i want to treat other
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people around me how i want to build the culture here then they have intentions for the skills that they need to develop their very clear if you go to high performance you open up their calendar you can often see classes or books they're reading or meetings that they're having just to develop skill and then they're very clear and highly intentional about the service they want to give they know their thing i remember at one of our interviews you talk about how curiosity was your thing and you loved that you knew your thing and you stuck to it and actually was thinking about you in one of these chapters it's called increasing your productive quality output. discover what is going to make a difference in your career and do a lot of that you did interviews and you kept doing and different prolific quality output they call it so getting a lot interviews done making them quality and consistency doing it year over year over year would probably be one of the reasons you know you achieved what you achieved rather enjoying it and enjoying every step of the way the high performers
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say there's three emotional states they feel and let's see if you feel like this and this is the order they reported in our big surveys number one they feel fully engaged they're engaged they're present with what they're doing number two joy they're enjoying that process they love it they're doing a number three confidence the comfort of what they're doing how do you deal with people who have. lost hope. the dream as faded. i would usually say the dream didn't fade they got disappointed by all the tactics and the things they were doing what they were doing that became hardship the dream is still there but their way about going and getting it wasn't working so they are disenfranchised with the dream they wouldn't really lose the dream the methods they got tired of the methods the hard work the hardship meaning maybe they were doing the wrong strategy. and so we have to reconnect and say wait are you sure you don't
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want that dream because maybe you gave up the dream because it was too hard along the way maybe you did the wrong strategy maybe didn't have the right peer group around you the right environment the right support but the dream is still there so i usually if someone says i've lost my dream is that let's see if we can reconnect you with the dream and giving you and give you a new way about going about achieving it was the biggest misconception people have about the word success i would say they equate with financial material means or athletic or athletic though olympic gold medal is no finance in that that's right and they think success is number one like i said the highest performers in the world they're really the top fifteen percent of the top one percent and we think that i got to be number one you know i have to be number one new york times bestseller out of the number one show on television after the number and just not true because plenty of people who are number five number six number ten they're happy too they're earning two so i think that strive just to be number one or just to achieve the most amount of material gain is what puts people on the path of
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destruction because the path of purpose is usually not the most immediate obvious one that's profitable do they deal with stress will they deal with stress much better than their peers and they do it by having moments throughout the day of rejuvenation. we think that high performers must have less stress than other people they have equal amounts of things that could stress them they deal with it better because they have moments during the day where they release that tension after the break brendan on his daily habits was a success that's next don't. call
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the future we don't really go to. everyone in the world should experience phillida and you'll get the old. the old according to just. look up the modern world come along for the iraq. war hawks selling you on the idea that dropping bombs brings police to the chicken hawks forcing you to fight the battles they don't. produce offspring to tell you that will be gossiping tabloid-y. file for the most important day. off about telling me you are not cool enough to buy their product. all the hawks that we along with all
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the walking. the bad with brendan is one of my favorite people number one new york times best selling author he did them out of the woods number one he's just happy it's his book coming in september high performance habits how extraordinary people become that way a lot of people said goals was that it was really the people who reach their goals and who lose that motivation necessity first and foremost because if your back is against the wall or you have to do it or your identity says i am this i must do that you don't lose motivation if that's who you are and what you really care about you tend not to lose motivation but the number two would be very clear habits that keep you on track you know i think it's really hard for people to stay on track jim roan used to say that motivation gets you in the game habit keeps you there and
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i think that's so true we people lose motivation they forget to remind themselves to be motivated to do high performers sometimes feel lonely because their goal is striving and therefore they they don't see the side of the road this is one thing i got wrong in the research. because i assumed that it was the only the top i seen the highest performer say the yes only of the iowa i would have thought that but when we interviewed the highest performing of the highest performers none of them said it was true they said sometimes it's easy to feel misunderstood but they said no because most high performers they have team their people around the lot of friends a lot of friends they have positive relationships they experience positive emotions more than their peers so they're happy they have positive people around them who support them it's not lonely and i remember brian tracy once said you know if you're lonely the top you did it wrong. you narcissus jaeger narcissistic
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or what happens is it's easy when you're when let's say you have one skill set the people don't around you they don't understand it or they don't do it and all of the weight rests on your shoulders one of the higher forms habits is develop influence and part of developing influence is knowing how to build your support network so you don't have to do it all because if you have to do it all then that's where that pressure becomes a negative thing and that's where you lose happiness ok it was so good by you up it's what do you do when you wake up which is what eleven o'clock. i am i am not a famous for being an morning person but when i do get up i have three twenty minute routines i do every morning first one i get up i drink about twenty ounces of water and i go downstairs and i stretch i move kind of like a yoga activity for about twenty minutes it's not my workout for the day necessary but it's open to our body and the second thing i do is i sit and i read what newspaper you know usually for me it's a book so something in the psychology realm or in the business realm always nonfood
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always nonfiction in the morning and then third thing is i spend twenty minutes preparing my day every day ripping even a day even if the days are like today complete this is completely scheduled but i'll sit there for twenty minutes thinking about ok how do i do it well. what's the emotion i want to bring in says harvey mackay yes it's very is and you know he's one of my mentors so it's preparing myself for the day and i also in that time i look at the bigger picture i said what are the major projects i'm working on is there anything in today's schedule needs to be reshipped and moved around cancel that move that so that i know once i begin the work day i'm going to swat team that day and people say are you so disciplined you know must not be any fun to go discipline is the gateway to freedom. the more disciplined i am during the day the more freedom i have at night or the longer vacations or you like routine i don't like routine by recognize it as necessary for me to succeed and be healthy so
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people a terrible routine yes yes and that they can get better it's just practice almost rolled as confidence for a so there are six habits we found make our performance and the only underlying factor that increases all of them the most is confidence the more confidence you have the more clarity you're likely to seek the more confidence you have the more energy you have the more ness necessity feel the more productive you are the more influential you are and always always the more courageous you are all i've always been confident of work yeah it doesn't mean you come from every area what's right. confidence is usually based on competence where are you a good at something you have the skill or the knowledge of the strengths that's usually where confidence is and usually what we have to do is just say hey what's your real dream what's your real ambition develop some skills along the way you'll get more confident to choose patients an attribute or not necessarily it is an
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attribute but it's weakly correlated so it's not one of those things you have to have to be a performer but we do recognize that for most people if you lack the patients usually you're in a lot of emotional turmoil you could be you know some of the chiefs a lot without patients but you'll be an emotional stress a lot of all born with a strike in america is safe to say is starkly maybe still true in many circles if you're born black you border strike that's change has to be two strikes. i think other for the minority. i think what we've discovered in our work that we will think will turn up and a lot of assumptions is that high performance isn't. correlated with age ethnicity income education level per se it's more correlated with these these these habits are more important than where you came from because you know you know i both know
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and you've interviewed i mean so many people who came from nothing but by their sheer will and habits became something and so what we've learned that's true for every high performer in our data it just seems to be that what they do is they overcome it what surprises you the most in all your research i would have thought there'd be fifteen twenty different habits that all high performers are doing and we ran the data around the data do the interviews over and over and over three and a half years of research there's just six and i would have thought there we all think that successful people must be doing a million things to do and six things to come off yet number one they see clarity where the meeting is coming up it's like when you have a meeting with oprah first thing she says is what's our intention this meeting she's always seeking clarity number two you have to generate energy take care of your mental physical emotional wellbeing number three you have to raise necessity decide why what you're doing is
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a must why does your performance really matter to you number four you have to chant you have to be more productive and that means focusing on your prolific quality output what's the needle movers of things that you create that actually makes a difference in your career then you have to develop influence. with those around you because if you can't get the people around you to believe in you buy from you support you won't maintain long term performance and the last one demonstrate courage we have some social media questions there on facebook you're a busy man do you deal with anxiety and how do you cope i used to deal with anxiety a lot of it especially before a big speech or an interview i still get nervous all the time and bruce springsteen says you know he he retired he didn't feel nervous backstage so i think it's really important that sometimes nerves are ok reeling zaya the though is usually a challenge with the way we're thinking about something i would say a lot of anxiety comes from asking what if following with a negative statement what if this doesn't go well what if she hates me what do
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should yeah what if it's a terrible disaster and so sometimes for me dealing with anxiety i change the what if from a negative statement to where if a positive one if that goes so great the book takes off what would if we have a good time we laugh together and i start sort of moving on those things i feel better. screen fool on twitter who inspires you. i would say. yourself and you know that i read your book when i was nineteen and it helped me come out of my shell that was a huge huge thing out of talk to anyone anytime anywhere yeah hugely significant. for a young one thousand year old who was inside and didn't know how to ask questions and was curious about the world but didn't realize i didn't learn through conversation that was a moment harvey mackay zig ziglar. stephen covey was huge my life is you know wayne dyer was a massive mentor of mine tony robbins people usually who have success and were
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willing to tell people how to do it but not like tell me they must more of let me tell you a story and all these people with mckay's the cubbies zig ziglar. us all do it because they love it and they're genuine or you know me to do it you know this big myth that everyone could retire all of them there's always this myth in the self-help industry that these guys must be doing it for money or whatever and say look you don't get up on a plane at five in the morning and fly it to another place or another place another place because it's about the money you do it because you care about other people magna media on twitter when do you give up on coach you go client or does that ever happen you give up on coaching a client when they stop sending you the money. is your job is not to give up on them when they stop there you usually find a reason why they stop yeah most everyone they don't always have to pay right it's a point where they feel coached yeah almost every time someone stops coaching it's
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because of disappointment and self. they feel like they should be further ahead you don't blame yourself you don't say where did i go wrong in coaching unless it's true i did knowledge it but most of the time they're disappointed like i want to be further right now i'm not so i don't think this is working and so they'll x. turn ally's it and blame the coach for blame their parents or blame the team but usually they get there's a frustration inside because. when people decide they need to do coaching they're doing it because they know they need that challenge or the next level when you go to coaching it doesn't mean you're fair or right when you quit doesn't mean you're failure sometimes it's time for a pivot and i would say who's going to help you through that pivot you're you're not you need a coach to walk you through how you can better most eighty seven on twitter what's the best way to deal with negative or toxic people. one spend less time with them
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but i've always you know i'm from montana so we really care about the people around us and i think there's this bad myth that you know just get rid of everybody who's negative your life whether that's your wife what if that's you know your mom what if that's your cousin what if that's someone on your team who is absolutely necessary to be there i always say instead of thinking of to get rid of everybody which is kind of a tear down the walls approach i'm over build a bridge guy and say you know what build the positive support network you need to spend less time if you can but sometimes you know we have to have patience with people i think love sometimes is really patience and empathy with other people so maybe that negative person are going through tough times rob edwards on facebook when did you know you have the ability to build a success in the business world. i don't know i've even found that yet. i knew i could help people. and if i stayed true to what that service was the business would take care of itself but i've never really looked at myself said i'm
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a c.e.o. you know i don't think that was ever my focus so for me personally i think the service was always something i said i can be confident in my service develop the skills for that the business will fall itself the hardest word to say and the english language is no. you find it hard to say no used to and that sort of performance and i want to get ahead in life and if you're always saying yes to everything there's a time i think you know teenage years in your twenty's yes's are great there are a lot of gates you learn a lot of things but at some point if you don't narrow down the paths that you're going to pursue you'll be a generalist who never actually has the ability to become world class at something or high performance group talk with your brand. random irshad the book four months . how extraordinary people become that way it's coming your way. and you can find me on twitter with things i'll see you next time.
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you're launching an artsy america special report. basically everything that you think you know about civil society have broken down. there's always going to be somebody else one step ahead of the game. we should not be. normal i think. we don't need people that think like this on our planet. this is an incredibly situation.

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