right there around for. the wake up beforehand it's with. me. i read the bible and i pray and then i try to be through and listen for his voice his guidance. my name is billy burley. living here and poke. and i used to work for nasa. and let me show you all around the house a little bit. of the weather over here and if we don't have air conditioning over here and so we keep the doors and windows open for good bit throughout the year.

i was. skinny little introverted kid had a speech impediment and tried to talk a lot of people didn't understand me and my body tomie i belong to the boy but my thoughts not mine with me and that i belong with the girl. and i didn't know which way to go and wanted to be like my sisters i thought. i should be like my festers and where my older sister started wearing makeup. and with some of her makeup in the bathroom. and then in the sixth grade when i was. on the farm early teen and we had a new. he would do when. he wouldn't

play with me he would. try to get me to have interaction and just continue to play with me. a map he should sure into a room. just. come on come you know you into a room back here you're going to keep moving around i want to quiet bad dog bad dog hold one moment i will. silence the dog. dotty dotty go away just lay down. go lay down first off my name is. i'm an author i've written eight books so far three of them to do with transsexuality i was born male grew up in

a very conservative republican family my father was pretty much absent most of my childhood he was an alcoholic. my mother was mentally ill the childhood was so troubled and so traumatic that in retrospect i was able to look at it and realize that there was no way i was getting out of childhood normal you go and you take a shower and you're there to get clean but every time i had to take off my clothes every time i went to bathe you know there's no getting around the fact that i wasn't a girl that i was a boy and that really is the one memory that sticks out is just how much i hate. my penis hate it my penis by the time i left high school when i was eighteen i was cross-dressing most of the time once i was away from school. and

a couple years afterwards i ended up in san francisco which had a very small gay community and i started i had made the decision by the time i was about twenty to start living full time as a girl. when you start dating people and if you pass well enough the whole purpose is are you a transsexual or are you a woman and my in my mind i was always a woman i'm wanting to date and i'm not telling the men that i'm dating that i have i'm a painter and so when they find out they become violent. there were a couple instances where i was beaten very badly. georgevitch surgeon. and i'm a leader of the for journey political start our center is very well known especially for transgender surgery and me perform all types of drugs other surgeries male to female female to male reduce surgery possible complications and

one of the. very very. very beautiful sort of regretful. won the one little on the way in terms of the transformation we try always to to make a detail is to be first very functional and then to be. more acceptable in a stud to coat heel if you discuss them both male to female results and much better because he was sort of dreamy create a completely normal female and this person is usually can have a sexual intercourse and enjoy in sexual activity according to our experience more than ninety percent transgender surgery starts to be a very popular. person's doctor and you can you can find up to many drew. i'm going to make my journey to the east will be different right now and i will be. could be

a very strong man or something ladies enough of that. alcohol or drug abuse or some to. get away from a seizure of a new beginning to the main milestone was finding a doctor who would give me the hormones if i get the hormones female. my life will be perfect and then you think well if i can only get my voice get my male voice up here then that make me you know just happy and then you think the next thing is well if i can get breast implants. that's all i need it's never enough and finally if you've gone through the therapy and you can convince a doctor to start cutting on you you go and you have a sex change i had my sex change in one thousand nine hundred ninety and in the

back of my mind i didn't think i thought it might be like all the other stuff i had done but i was hoping just hoping that that would make me feel complete. and i want to get it. so why would you tell your neighbor that you did something that was so stupid it's absolutely ridiculous to tell a neighbor hey i was a transgendered transition pretty embarrassing you go through a gender change to be that stupid to believe that you can actually change genders you get to be pretty. silly clip to handle the truth. i was born in los angeles good family good people. i was taken to my grandmother's

house quite frequently as my parents like to go away on the weekend to camp and fish. became interested in my grandma's house cross-dressing and i mentioned something to her about that so she decided to make me a purple dress to put it on and wear the dress i finally got so interested and excited about wearing a dress that i get tired of waiting till i was going to go to grandma's house to secretly so i snatched the dress home my mom found the dress. i was never allowed to go to grandma's house again. to change my name secretly when i was about thirteen years old to crystal probably in my late twenties i started to talk to doctors about hormone therapy and i began to take hormone therapy thirty five years ago there wasn't much information and we concluded that based on everything that was available at the time. undergoing

hormone therapy for their hormone therapy and gender reassignment surgery would be the answer to resolve this quote gender identity disorder when i. won nine hundred eighty three i underwent the gender reassignment surgery by. in trinidad colorado it was amazing i felt like the world had been lifted from my shoulders and it was really wonderful the only thing i don't know is was it all the medication from five hours of surgery that made me feel this way or was it because through the surgery because you're pretty heavily medicated my. female name at the time was laura.

housing. oh you mean there's being a free society being i call it in my book a social pariah is not the way you want to live the isolation drives you to despair and so yeah suicide is a big big thing maybe. yesterday . the first time was right before the surgery in one thousand nine hundred and the only thing that kept me from doing a quite honest is a coward at heart. at the time i wanted in my life somebody i knew had. attempted to use it. and it obviously didn't work but. my heart was pounding so hard. i

thought it was going to come out of my chest. i feel safer. staying in one place where people might find out what i do and who i am i don't want people. i don't want to be. by the people around me. i was leading a church one day. three four years ago now and i got to email it said i'm ready to commit suicide. and it was a transgendered life. for two or three years and was totally discouraged i was actually exchanging information and talking with him on some level up to five times a day to keep frank. he eventually restored is why he did the transition but.

this is my entire office right here my computer my dez my chair my slippers and this is where i sit and work i don't need any more than this everything that i do is right here on the computer or on the phone talking to people i did transition now for twenty five years longer and so it was when i did transition. everything began to make sense to me and when i realized how important it was to de transition to become psychologically emotionally and socially a healthy person that i wanted others who wanted to do transition to have a way to come back to that same experience that i have and if they have regret and want to transition i have built a website for them sex change regret. in our area.

yeah we're doing we're doing good billy contacted me by email like most people do and we began to exchange information and phone his story was just like mine he was sexually abused i was sexually abused and that was kind of the trigger point changing genders. transitioning to a woman. started thinking ok i've been doing this. my problem. should've gone away from by now but they had me and i actually had more

problems at that point another problem is just trying to pass. trying to do my hair just right trying to do my makeup just. trying to look just right where people would not be and confortable because you can see when people identify you as being transgendered. this isn't why. nothing has really changed i'm still struggling i was better off as i was before the surgery before the hormone treatment it was a bad point five years after the surgery they are about i started to have about changing back that's my student id. and so now it's women that i had a really big adam's apple heavy brown ridge. pretty

big. is the idea after i had third. when i was transitioning back to mail. in louisiana and the driver's license i had a lot of other pictures from that period but one day. when i was in my office looking at the pictures of me back during this period seventy eight years as being female it was so discouraging that i wasted so much of my life in this particular period doing all of. that just in the state that i was in and i raised all of the pictures that i had with the computer and destroyed the pictures of me from that period to. tried to were right. with god's help i

went through the change back to being male so i went through the surgery. on the bad side of it with much pain and so much discomfort read a great dream or in the earth. when he took the. life to show me that. to me it was growth but it was. in the paperwork to me. when i had the surgery done initially he gave me the paperwork ok. i'm sixty years old there's no reason for me after a lifetime of being in transition to go and start living dressing as

a man and. there's there's there's no there's no. there's no benefit but there is a benefit and my standing before an audience of young kids and college who are considering this. and saying to them ok i'm the real deal i started living when i as a woman when i was twenty i've lived forty years of my life i had breast augmentation i've had genital surgery i've had forty years of hormones all of it has not made my life any better it's never solved the problem you break your your left leg you go into a doctor's office and under the transsexual rule of medical treatment they say this is your new normal and we're going to break your right leg too i think it's safe to say that when somebody has been cross stressed and affirmed physically abuse. and sexually abused that psychotherapy is the most needed

therapy not hormones and surgery. when i met him i was already legally a man again. today . her and her daughter came over to my halles for all the ship of christian athletes meeting and it was bigger than i first met her. and that was in two thousand and ten and. and right in her for coffee to light my problems. me. more to look to see each day as a beautiful day and just to enjoy the life. in him.

and you in me baby in his hands he. me baby in his hands feet you have the whole world and it is. so what we've got to do is identify the threats that we have it's crazy

confrontation let it be an arms race is on offense planning dramatic development only closely and going to exist i don't see how that strategy will be successful at very critical time time to sit down and talk. you know world of big part of the new lot and conspiracy it's time to wake up to dig deeper to hit the stories that mainstream media refuses to tell more than ever we need to be smarter we need to stop slamming the door on the back and shouting past each other it's time for critical thinking it's time to fight for the middle for the truth the time is now for watching closely watching the hawks. prosecution will need to become almost.

where you. just read you'll find. somebody to see do i mean yeah i'm yasmeen political. security generation knows what the punditry bundled up business models it was my american corporations. to use. the solution. lies up the dissociation. as it is just really really came to an investigative documentary. ghost war on oxy. what politicians do. they put themselves on the line to get accepted or rejected.

so when you want to be president i'm sure. some want. you to go right to be first to see what it looks like three in the morning can't be good. i'm interested always in the water.

sweden's ruling social democrats suffer the worst election result in a century while the swedish democrats make substantial gains on that immigration platform. israeli defense forces say they're reviewing the fatal shooting of a sixteen year old palestinian boy at a protest in gaza we speak to his family. and despite iraqi authorities declaring the country free of islamic state almost a year ago we reported how the terror group remains active across a large swathe of the country. straight away and my son has been lying on the ground before you know the murderous told us they go from an islamic state in iraq my brother was killed after he was.