and so we keep the doors and windows open for good bit throughout the year. can any little introverted kid had a speech impediment and tried to talk but a lot of people didn't understand me and my body told me i belonged with the boy but i thought. that i belong with the girl. i didn't know which way to go i wanted to be like my sisters i thought. i should be like my fifty years and my older sister started wearing makeup. with some of her makeup in the bathroom. and then in the sixth grade when i was. on the formerly teen and we had

a new guy i think. he would do when he had a chance he wouldn't play with me he would fondo me and. try to get me to have an erection and just continue to play with me. i'm at the shed she were into a room. for just a moment. come on come you know and get you into a room back here you are going to keep moving around come on a quiet bad. hold one moment i will. silence the da. da da i don't need to lay down. go lay down first off my name is nature. i'm an author i've written eight books so

far three of them to do with transsexuality i was born male grew up in a very conservative republican family my father was pretty much absent most of my childhood he was an alcoholic. my mother was mentally ill childhood was so troubled and trips so traumatic that in retrospect i was able to look at it and realize that there was no way i was getting out of childhood normal you go and you take a shower and you're there to get clean but every time i had to take off my clothes every time i went to they you know there's no getting around the fact that i wasn't a girl that i was a boy and that out really is the one memory that sticks out is just how much i hate . my penis hated my p.s. by the time i left high school when i was eighteen i was cross-dressing most of the

time once i was away from school and a couple of years afterwards i ended up in san francisco which had a very small gay community and i started i had made the decision by the time i was about twenty to start living full time as a girl. when you start dating people and if you pass well enough the whole purpose is are you a transsexual or are you a woman and my in my mind i was always a woman i'm wanting to date and i'm not telling the men that i'm dating that i have a penis and so when they find out they become violent there were a couple instances where i was beaten very badly. and i'm only a bit over the four journey political start to the. our center is very well known

especially for transgender surgery and we perform all types of through another surgery male to female female to male or to do surgery possible complications and one of the. very very. it will sort of regretful after. the way in terms of transformation we would try oldest to to make a detail is to be the first very functional and then to be. more acceptable in a stud to coat the heel if you discuss them both male to female results and much better because in was surgery we create a completely normal female and this person is usually can have sexual intercourse and enjoy in sexual activity according to our experience more than ninety percent transgender surgery starts to be a very popular. person's doctor ups and you can you can find up to

many drug. i'm going to make my journey to least would be different right now and i would be very nice lady or i would be a very strong man or something ladies enough to that to some event like alcohol or drug abuse or something ladies. get away from a seizure of a new beginning to this the main milestone was finding a doctor who would give me the hormones if i get the hormones and female crosstabs hormones my life will be perfect and then you think well if i can only get my voice get my male voice up here then that that'll make me you know just happy and then you think the next thing is well if i can get breast implants. that's all i need it's never enough and finally if you've gone through the therapy and you can convince a dog. you know you go and you have

a sex change i had my sex change in one thousand nine hundred ninety and in the back of my mind i didn't think i thought it might be like all the other stuff i had done but i was hoping just hoping it would make me feel complete. and i want to get it. so why would you tell your neighbor that you did something that was so stupid it's absolutely ridiculous to tell a neighbor hey i was a transgender transition pretty embarrassing you go through a gender change to be that stupid to believe that you can actually change genders you get to be pretty. quick to handle the truth.

i was born in los angeles family good people i was taken to my grandmother's house quite frequently as my parents like to go away on the weekend they like to camp and fish. became interested in my grandma's house. and i mentioned something to her about that so she decided to make me a purple dress to put it on and wear the dress i finally got so interested and excited about wearing a dress that i get tired of waiting till i was going to go to grandma's house to secretly. snatch the dress home my mom found the dress. i was never allowed to go to grandma's house again. to change my name secretly when i was about thirteen years old to crystal probably in my late twenties. started to talk about hormone therapy. and i began to

take hormone therapy thirty five years ago there wasn't much information and we concluded that based on everything that was available at the time that undergoing hormone therapy for their hormone therapy and gender reassignment surgery would be the answer to resolve this quote gender identity disorder that's when i in april of one thousand nine hundred eighty three i underwent the gender reassignment surgery by a doctor of fiber in trinidad colorado it was amazing i felt like the world had been lifted from my shoulders and it was really wonderful the only thing i don't know is was it all the medication from five hours of surgery that made me feel this way or was it because i had gone through the surgery because you're pretty heavily medicated my. female name at the time was laura jensen.

but. that will. never do it are you going to cut out all over. the know. what it will. take to get away with it. you know world of big partisan movies lot and conspiracy it's time to wake up to dig deeper to hit the stories that made stream media refuses to tell more than ever we need to be smarter we need to stop slamming the door on the shouting past each other it's tough. for critical thinking it's time to fight for the middle for

the troops the time is now for watching closely watching the hawks. in twenty forty you know bloody revolution if you correct the demonstrations going from being relatively peaceful political protests to be creasing the violent revolution is always spontaneous or is it you know lawyer here i mean you know liz put video to me in the new bill is that i new school in the middle of the ukrainian president recalls the events of twenty four g. and. those who took. it invested over five billion dollars to assist ukraine in these and other goals that will ensure a secure and prosperous and democratic. and

a nice tell and why it came from all. a little bit apprehensive going into surgery but all for a little and fight it seemed finally were at this point and after going into. surgery and then coming out of surgery and being in the. elevator i asked somebody is it gone and they assured me that it was gone. and i was very relieved. i was losing a lot of the law through the surgical fight. what they did was put. into

my new. housing. and finally this is done this is now. now start my new life. i never have the full ability to have intercourse because the vagina that they make is so small so any time i tried to have intercourse it was extremely painful and it wouldn't happen so these surgeries are nothing more than plastic surgery they they don't create the phalluses that they create for a female to males are really hideous looking i've had several female to male friends and you look at it and you just go oh god you paid for that it's horrible the sex change didn't solve my discomfort the doctors who are honest will say that the gender dysphoria is always there and it's because the confusion is it's not so

much it starts out being about your anatomy but really what it's you don't like yourself. being free and society being i call it in my book a social pariah is not the way you want to live the isolation drives you to despair and so yeah suicide is a big big thing maybe. well you saw it. yesterday i don't know the first time was right before the surgery in one thousand nine hundred and the only thing that kept me from doing a quite honest is. at

the time. somebody. tempted to use it. and it obviously didn't work but. my heart was pounding so hard. i feel safer. staying in one place where people might find what i do. i don't want to be. by the people around me. church one day. four years ago. i'm ready to commit suicide.

and it was. for two or three years. i was actually exchanging information with. times a day to keep from committing eventually. computer. everything. on the computer. to people. for twenty five years. it was. everything to make sense to me. when i realized how important it was. to be. i'm psychologically emotionally and socially

a healthy person that i wanted others who wanted to deed transition to have a way to come back to that same experience that i have and if they have regret and wanted to transition i have built a website for them sex change regret come. in our area. yeah we're doing we're doing good billy contacted me by email like most people do and we began to exchange information and i talked to him on the phone his story was just like mine he was sexually abused i was sexually abused and that was kind of the trigger point of changing genders. among kids. one computes quotes on.

t.v. seven years after transitioning to woman and woman. started thinking ok i've been doing this for seven years now my problem should've gone away from by now but they had me and i actually had more problems at that point another problem is just trying to pass. trying to do my hair just right trying to do my makeup just for i trying to look just right to where people would not be and confortable because you can see when people identify you as being transgendered. this isn't why. nothing has really changed i'm still struggling i was better off as i was

before the surgery before the hormone treatment and it was at that point five years after the surgery there about that i started to have about changing back and that's my student id for. and for now a swim in the last year i had a really big adam's apple heavy brown ridge. pretty big. the idea after i had surgery. and then when i was transitioning back to mail. in louisiana the driver's license i had a lot of other pictures from that period but one day. when i was. looking at the pictures for me back during this period seventy eight years of being female it was so discouraging that i wasted so much my life in this particular

period doing all of this. just in the state that i was. i raised all of the pictures that i had with the computer and destroyed the pictures of me from that period to try to write that period of my life with god's help i went through the change and i went back to being in may. so i went through the surgery and on the bad side of it was so much pain and so much discomfort and read a grad dream or it and then me for. surgery that i had been in then when he took the. lifetime make to show me the skin. i was almost horrified at it to me it was gross but it was. in the paperwork that the surgeon gave me. when i had the surgery done

a nation only game in the paperwork and said ok i'm in surge changed to mayo i'm sixty years old there's no reason for me after a lifetime of being in transition to go and start living dressing as a man and. there's there's there's no. there's no. there's no benefit but there is a benefit and standing before an audience of young kids and college who are considering this. and saying to them ok i'm the real deal i started living when i as a woman when i was twenty i've lived forty years of my life i have breast augmentation i've had genital surgery i've had forty years of hormones all of it has not made my life any better it's never solved the problem you break your your left leg you go into a doctor's office and under the transsexual rule of medical treatment

they say this is your new normal and we're going to break your right leg too i think it's safe to say. when somebody has been cross stressed and affirmed physically abused and sexually abused that psychotherapy is the most needed therapy hormones and surgery. was already. a good. day. her daughter came over to my fourth christian athletes meeting and it was first met her.

and that was in two thousand. and. three and i didn't know it. so i asked one of my classmates what does that mean. a lot of my younger classmates so so she said at the safeway for asking for her trying to meet up with somebody i shared with her my path. whatever happened. and she said ok let's be friends we have shared the same. thing we both like doing especially. now i can't i know he will say he remembers one time we were high and he said. i sat close to him when my head on the shoulder and he was that point. with changing. that it was ok for me to start. in

a romantic wife and i did. for. being to mainstream to tween rachel and me. with me being surgically altered i. come to want to. enjoy intimacy and that wonderful fresh air. it is beautiful. for a little bit more right. if you notice. the green is starting to turn back to brown vs me pretty soon after a few bonds. i think i thought about it for not too long maybe a week or two and responded to my older daughter said. she want they

want me to be happy. and i knew i was going to change the big moment came when. i was praying and the lord jesus appeared. to me as a vision in the air is so i could touch him just like i could touch anybody here and he came and reached down to me with his hands and picked me up and said you're now safe with me forever and it was at that moment that my life changed in a split second. look at this i'm healthy. many of the people who've gone through this before me are dead they're out there still struggling. with their identity and i'm alive and well and healthy and married for twenty one years to my

wife. restoration and i'm helping other people what other thing that's better in life when you're reaching out and helping other people with their life. a. little too pretty. to pretty tasty. i am so happy i am the way i am now. even though i have problems i have a choice to let my problems. me. more to look to see each day as a beautiful day and just to enjoy the life. in.

you and me baby in his hands he viewing me baby in his hands he's got the whole world. the band.

i've been saying the numbers mean from a matter of us is over one trillion dollars in debt more than ten white collar crimes happen each day. eighty five percent of global wealth you longs to the rich eight point six percent market shock thirty percent last year some with four hundred to five hundred treat her stricken first shot and one rose to twenty thousand dollars. china is building a two point one billion dollar a i industrial park but don't let the numbers overwhelm. the only number you need to remember it was one distance shows you can't afford to miss the one and only. ministry is police forces and city administrations of many countries depend on one corporation that does my mike was hoping the board doesn't implement the muslim god i'm stumped just adama's how the guns going to. woods as that's needed to get out

into the sea it's a must also apply been proprietary software you don't know the source code isn't that a such a security risk and when you have a black box operating the public eye to microsoft dependency puts governments on to cyber threat and not only that. moral. significance of selling this is also one. of those. things this is. done with the old patients stopping there was a sting of phone calls a fund is up and his cards on the fine. u.s. president donald trump is on a complete reversal on syria a full one eighty what accounts for this why and what's next.

prosecution will need to be criminals in. the fault is all of a thing called where you push us off the threat of fines come also by the number one place you do i mean yeah i mean i mean did our political pressure on that bill do i need him on controlled to know through security jennifer knows where to put your bundled up business models here with my american corporations doubt of loss and conflict is sold on could a mental disease as an m.p. use. the a man who was not on the scene and the solution. lies up in association with. a little can he saw swindle as it is just really really to maintain an investigative documentary. ghost war on obscene.

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