was thirty years old i've now been living as a woman for twenty eight years and i fully regret this nobody can change genders it's impossible. it's delusional it's a mental illness. and the lord god made a woman from the room he had taken out of the man and he brought her to the man once i finally had the surgery i went with this was the wrong thing to do it was the wrong thing to do to cut off my male anatomy. command. this is now one of my bones from the flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man that is why a man leaves his father and mother earth news from nineteen to his wife and they become one flesh. the fact of the matter is that forty percent of people who are attempting suicide are people who regret ever changing genders.

and. right there around four o'clock. but usually i wake up beforehand if you. read the bible and i pray and then i try to be still and and listen for his voice his guidance. my name is billy hurley. living here in polk in this house and i used to work for nasa. and let me show. all around the house

a little bit. of the weather over here and. we don't have air conditioning over here and so we keep the doors and windows open for good bit throughout the year. as canny a little introverted. had a speech impediment and tried to talk but a lot of people didn't understand me and my body tomie i belong to the boy but my thoughts not mine with me and that i belong with the girl. and i didn't know which way to go and wanted to be like my sisters. i should be like my fifty years and where my older sister started wearing makeup.

and with some of her makeup in the bathroom. and then in the sixth grade when i was. on the formerly teen and we had a new. well he would do when he had he wouldn't play with me he would fondo me and. try to get me to have interaction and just continue to play with me. a map he should share into a room. for just a moment. come on come you know and get you into a room back here you are going to keep moving around come on a quiet bad job. hold one moment i will. silence the dog. dotty dotty go away just lay down.

go lay down first off my name is. i'm an author i've written eight books so far three of them to do with transsexuality i was born male grew up in a very conservative republican family my father was pretty much absent most of my childhood he was an alcoholic. my mother was mentally ill the childhood was so troubled and so traumatic that in retrospect i was able to look at it and realize that there was no way i was getting out of childhood normal you go and you take a shower and you're there to get clean but every time i had to take off my clothes every time i went to bed you know there is no getting around the fact that i wasn't a girl that i was a boy and really is the one memory that sticks out is just how much i hate.

my penis hate it my p.s. by the time i left high school when i was eighteen i was cross-dressing most of the time once i was away from school and a couple of years afterwards i ended up in san francisco which had a very small gay community and i started i had made the decision by the time i was about twenty to start living full time as a girl. when you start dating people and if you pass well enough the whole purpose is are you a transsexual or are you a woman and my in my mind i was always a woman i'm wanting to date and i'm not telling the men that i'm dating that i have a penis and so when they find out they become violent there were a couple instances where i was beaten very badly.

and i'm a leader of go to center for journey political start our center is very well known especially for transgender surgery and we perform all types of drugs other surgeries male to female female to male reduce surgery possible complications and one of the. very very. volatile sort of regretful after one of the on the way in terms of transformation we really try oldest to to make you do need to be first very functional and then to be. more acceptable in a stud to coat the heel if you discuss them both male to female results and much better because in was surgery we create a completely normal female and this person is usually can have sexual intercourse and enjoy in sexual activity according to our experience more than

ninety percent transgender surgery starts to be a very popular. person's doctors and you can you can find out too many drug. i'm going to make my journey to least would be different right now and i would be very nice lady or i would be a very strong man or something ladies enough to that. event like alcohol or drug abuse or something ladies. get away from a seizure of a new beginning to this the main milestone was finding a doctor who would give me the hormones if i get the hormones and female cross sets or modes my life will be perfect and then you think well if i can only get my voice get my male voice up here then that that'll make me you know just happy and then you think the next thing is well if i can get breast implants. that's

all i need it's never enough and finally if you. gone through the therapy and you can convince a doctor to start cutting on you you go and you have a sex change i had my sex change in one thousand nine hundred ninety and in the back of my mind i didn't think i thought it might be like all the other stuff i had done but i was hoping just hoping it would make me feel complete. and i want to get it. so why would you tell your neighbor that you did something that was so stupid it's absolutely ridiculous to tell a neighbor hey i was a transgender transition pretty embarrassing you go through a gender change to be that stupid to believe that you can actually change genders

you get to be pretty. quick to handle the truth. i was born in los angeles family good people i was taken to my grandmother's house quite frequently as my parents like to go away on the weekend they like to camp and fish. became interested in my grandma's house. and i mentioned something to her about that so she decided to make me a purple dress to put it on and wear the dress i finally got so interested and excited about wearing a dress that i get tired of waiting till i was going to go to grandma's house to secretly press trips so i snapped the dress home with my mom found the dress. i was never allowed to go to grandma's house again. the first step was i changed my name secretly when i was about thirteen years old to crystal probably in my late

twenties. i started to talk to doctors about hormone therapy and i began to take hormone therapy thirty five years ago there wasn't much information and we concluded that based on everything that was available at that time. undergoing hormone therapy for their hormone therapy and gender reassignment surgery would be the answer to resolve this quote gender identity disorder that's when i in a parole of one thousand nine hundred eighty three i underwent the gender reassignment surgery by dr fiber in trinidad colorado it was amazing i felt like the world had been lifted from my shoulders and it was all really wonderful the only thing i don't know is was it all the medication from five hours of surgery that made me feel this way or was it because i had gone through the surgery because you're pretty heavily medicated my. female name at the time was laura

jensen. was present. in twenty four to you know bloody revolution of. the demonstrations went from being relatively peaceful protests to be increasingly violent revolution is always spontaneous or is it still with a couple of pretty meaningless. in the neighborly as i mean the school in the

middle of the fall the ukrainian president recalls the events of twenty four. those who took. invested over five billion dollars to assist you in these and other goals that will ensure a secure and prosperous and democratic. manufacture consent in terms of public wealth. when the running closest project themselves. in the final. we can all middle of the room signal. is really.

nice tell quiet and small. little bit apprehensive going into surgery but. a little and fight it seemed finally were at this point. after going into. surgery in the. coming out of surgery. being in the. elevator. and they assured me that it was gone. i was very relieved. i was losing a lot of law through the surgical fight. when fame did was put in. into

my new. housing. finally this is done. now and start my new life. i never have the full ability to have intercourse because the vagina that they make is so small so any time i tried to have intercourse it was extremely painful and it wouldn't happen so these surgeries are nothing more than plastic surgery they they don't create the phalluses that they create for female to males are really hideous looking i've had several female to male friends and you look at it and you just go oh god you paid for that it's horrible the sex change didn't solve my discomfort the doctors who are honest will say that the gender dysphoria is always there and

it's because the confusion is it's not so much it starts out being about your anatomy but really what it's you don't like yourself. being free and society being i call it in my book a social pariah is not the way you want to live the isolation drives you to despair and so yeah suicide is a big big thing maybe. where you thought. yesterday i don't know the first time was right before the surgery in one thousand nine hundred and the only thing that kept me from doing a quiet honest is i'm

a coward at heart. at the time. somebody. tempted to use it. and it obviously didn't work but. my heart was pounding so hard. i feel safer. place where people might find. people. i don't want to be. by the people around. leading church one day. four years ago.

i'm ready to commit suicide. it was. for two or three years. i was actually exchanging information with. times a day to keep from committing suicide he eventually. computer made. everything. on the computer. to people. for twenty five years. it was. everything to make sense to me. when i realized how important it was.

to become psychologically emotionally and socially a healthy person. that i wanted others who wanted to de transition to have a way to come back to that same experience that i have and if they have regret and want to transition i have built a website for them sex change regret come. in our area. yeah we're doing we're doing good billy contacted me by email like most people do and we began to exchange information and i talked to him on the phone his story was just like mine he was sexually abused i was sexually abused and that was kind of the trigger point of changing genders. among kids. come kids clothes on.

t.v. seven years after transitioning to woman and woman. started thinking ok i've been doing this for seven years now my problem should've gone away from by now but they had me and i actually had more problems at that point another problem is just trying to pass. trying to do my hair just right trying to do my makeup just for i trying to look just right to where people would not be uncomfortable because you can see when people identify you as being transgender. this isn't why. nothing has really changed i'm still struggling i was better off if i was

before the surgery before the hormone treatment so it was at that point five years after the surgery they are about that i started to have about changing back and that's my student id. and for now a swim in the last year i have a really big adam's apple heavy brown ridge. pretty big. the idea after i had third. when i was transitioning to mail. in louisiana and the driver's license i had a lot of other pictures from that period but one day. when i was in my office looking at the pictures of me back during this period seven eight years as being female it was so discouraging that i wasted so much of my life in this

particular period doing all of this. just in this state that i was. i raised all of the pictures that i had with the computer and destroyed the pictures of me from that period to try to write that period of my life with god's help i went through the change and i went back to being in may. so i went through surgery and the bad side of it was so much pain and so much discomfort and read a grad it turned dream or it and then me for. third period i had and then when he took the. lifetime make to show me the skin. i was almost horrified at it to me it was gross but it was surgery and the paperwork that the surgeon gave me. when i had the surgery done the nation only

gaming the paperwork and said ok i'm in surge changed to may i'm sixty years old there's no reason for me after a lifetime of being in transition to go and start living dressing as a man and. there's there's there's no. there's no. there's no benefit but there is a benefit and standing before an audience of young kids and college who are considering this. and saying to them ok i'm the real deal i started living when i as a woman when i was twenty i've lived forty years of my life i have breast augmentation i've had genital surgery i've had forty years of hormones all of it has not made my life any better it's never solved the problem you break your your left leg you go into a doctor's office and under the transsexual rule of medical treatment

they say this is your new normal and we're going to break your right leg too i think it's safe to say. when somebody has been cross stressed and affirmed physically abused and sexually abused that psychotherapy is the most needed therapy hormones and surgery. was already. a good. day. her daughter came over to my for christian athlete meeting and it was bigger than i first met her.

and that was in two thousand. and. three and i didn't know it. so i asked one of my classmates what does that mean. a lot of my younger classmates so so she said well that's a safe way for asking for her trying to meet up with somebody i shared with her my path. what had happened. and at that time she said ok let's be friends we had shared the same interests like what i was saying we both like doing stuff especially. now i can't i know he will say he remembers one time we were high and he said. i sat close to him when my head on the shoulder and it was that point. with changing. that it was ok for me to start. in

a romantic wife and i did. for. being to mainstream to tween rachel and me. with me being surgically altered i. come to want to. enjoy intimacy and that wonderful fresh air. it is beautiful. for a little bit more right. if you notice. the green is starting to turn back to brown vs me pretty soon after a few bonds. i think i thought about it for not too long maybe a week or two and responded yes my older daughter said. she wanted they

wanted me to be happy. and i knew i was going to change the big moment came when. i was praying and the lord jesus. to me as a vision in the air is so i could touch him just like i could touch anybody here and he came and reached down to me with his hands and picked me up and said you're now safe with me forever and it was at that moment that my life changed in a split second. leg of this i'm healthy. many of the people who've gone through this before me are dead. they're out there still struggling. with their identity and i'm alive and well and healthy and married for twenty one years to my

wife. restoration and i'm helping other people what other thing that's better in life when you're reaching out and helping other people with their life. a. little too pretty. to pretty tasty. i am so happy i am the way i am now. even though i have problems i have a choice to let my problems. me. more to look to see each day as a beautiful day and just to enjoy the life. in.

you and me baby in his hands he viewing me baby in his hands he's got the whole world.

u.s. president donald trump is on a complete reversal on syria a full one eighty what accounts for this why and what's next. prosecution will need to become almost. a full. court where you. just read the fines. by the number one place you do i mean yeah i mean i mean political pressure on the. security dimension knows where to put your bundled up business models used by american corporations doubt he's sold on good mental disease has he. seen. the solution. lies up in association with. a new can he saw as it is just simply his ability to maintain an investigative documentary.

ghost war on obscene. the french president among the. video emerges of him talking to a group of migrants some of whom claim they've been on documented in the country for years. also ahead on the program sweden's ruling social democrat suffered their worst election result in a century while the insurgents sweeping democrats make major gains with their immigration platform. despite iraq the clearing itself free from islamic states almost a year ago we reported of the terror group.