her hand if you. read the bible and i pray and then i try to be feeling and listen for his voice his guidance. my name is billy burley. living here and poke. and i used to work for. and let me show you all around the house a little bit. of the weather over here and. we don't have air conditioning over here and so we keep the doors and windows open for good bit throughout the year. i was. skinny little introverted kid had a speech impediment and tried to talk

a lot of people didn't understand me and my body tomie i belong to the boy but my thoughts my mind with me and that i belong with the girl. i didn't know which way to go wanted to be like my sister's. i should be like my fifth to earth and my older sister started wearing makeup. and it was from her maid in the bathroom. and then in the sixth grade when i was. on the farm early teen and we had a new. well he would do when he had a chance he wouldn't play with me he would fondo me and.

trying to get me to have interaction and just continue to play with me. our mailing a map he should share into a room. for just a moment. come on come in and get you into a room back here you were going to keep moving around come on a quiet bad dog bad hold one moment i will try to silence the dog. dotty dotty don't need to lay down. go lay down first off my name is. i'm an author i've written eight books so far three of them to do with transsexuality i was born male grew up in a very conservative republican family my father was pretty much absent most of my childhood he was an alcoholic. my mother was mentally ill childhood was

so troubled and trips so traumatic that in retrospect i was able to look at it and realize that there was no way i was getting out of childhood normal you go and you take a shower and you're there to get clean but every time i had to take off my clothes every time i went to bed you know there's no getting around the fact that i wasn't a girl that i was a boy and that really is the one memory that sticks out is just how much i hate. my penis hate it my p.s. by the time i left high school when i was eighteen i was cross-dressing most of the time once i was away from school and a couple of years afterwards i ended up in san francisco which had a very small gay community and i started i had made the decision by the time i was about twenty to start living full time as

a girl. when you start dating people and if you pass well enough. purposes are you a transsexual or are you a woman and my in my mind i was always a woman i'm wanting to date and i'm not telling the men that i'm dating that i have a penis and so when they find out they become violent. there were a couple instances where i was beaten very badly. and i'm a leader of go to center for journey political start our center is very well known especially for transgender surgery and me perform all types of run for the surgery male to female female to male reduce surgery possible complications and one of the . very very. volatile sort of regretful after one

a little on the way in trying to enter the us from. the retry all those two to make a detailed list to be of first very functional and then to be. more acceptable in a start to code heal if you discuss them both male to female results and much better because it was surgery we create a completely normal female and this person is usually can have sexual intercourse and enjoy in sexual activity according to our experience more than ninety percent transgender surgery starts to be a very popular. person's doctor ups and you can you can find up to many drug. i'm going to make my journey to least will be different like now and i will be very nice lady or i will be a very strong man or something ladies enough to that. event like alcohol or drug abuse or something ladies. get away from a seizure of

a new beginning to this the main milestone was finding a doctor who would give me the hormones if i get the hormones and female crossed. my life will be perfect and then you think well if i can only get my voice get my male voice up here then that battle make me you know just happy and then you think the next thing is well if i can get breast implants. that's all i need it's never enough and finally if you. gone through the therapy and you can convince a doctor to start you know you go and you have a sex change i had my sex change in one thousand nine hundred ninety and in the back of my mind i didn't think i thought it might be like all the other stuff i had done but i was hoping just hoping that would make me feel complete.

and i want to get it. so why would you tell your neighbor that you did something that was so stupid it's absolutely ridiculous to tell a neighbor hey i was a transgender transition pretty embarrassing you go through a gender change to be that stupid to believe that you can actually change genders you get to be pretty. quick to handle the truth. i was born in los angeles family good people i was taken to my grandmother's house quite frequently as my parents like to go away on the weekend they like to camp and fish. became interested in my grandma's house. and i mentioned something to her

about that so she decided to make me a purple dress to put it on and wear the dress i finally got so interested and excited about wearing a dress that i get tired of waiting till i was going to go to grandma's house to secretly press trips so i snatched the dress home my mom found the dress. i was never allowed to go to grandma's house again. the first step was i changed my name secretly when i was about thirteen years old to crystal probably in my late twenties. i started to talk to doctors about hormone therapy and i began to take hormone therapy thirty five years ago there wasn't much information and we concluded that based on everything that was available at the time. undergoing hormone therapy further hormone therapy and gender reassignment surgery would be the answer to resolve this quote gender identity disorder that's when i in

april of one thousand nine hundred eighty three i underwent the gender reassignment surgery by dr biber in trinidad colorado it was amazing i felt like the world had been lifted from my shoulders and it was all really wonderful the only thing i don't know is was it all the medication from five hours of surgery that made me feel this way or was it because i had gone through the surgery because you're pretty heavily medicated my. female name at the time was laura jensen. seems wrong. to me. yet to. this day because etiquette and engagement equals betrayal.

once. the party. choose to look for common ground. you know world of big partisan movies lot and conspiracy it's time to wake up to dig deeper to hit the stories that mainstream media refuses to tell more than ever we need to be smarter we need to stop slamming the door on the bath and shouting past each other it's time for critical thinking it's time to fight for the middle for the truth the time is now we're watching closely watching the hawks. in twenty forty you know bloody revolution to correct the demonstrations going from being relatively peaceful political protests to be creasing the violent revolution is always spontaneous or is it you know

lawyer here i mean i lived with video of the neighborly as i knew school in need of the ukrainian president recalls the events of twenty four g. and. those who took coach invested over five billion dollars to assist ukraine in these and other goals that will ensure a secure and prosperous and democratic. and a nice tell friends quiet and small. a little bit apprehensive going into turn three but all a little and fight it seemed finally were at this point and after going into. surgery and then coming out of surgery and

being in the. elevator i asked somebody is it gone and they assured me that it was gone. and i was very relieved. i was losing a lot of the law through the surgical fight. what they did with pushing. me into my news for china. i was excited and finally this is done this is now behind. now and start my new life. i never had the full ability to have intercourse because the. the vagina that they make is so small so any time i tried to have intercourse it was extremely painful in it wouldn't happen so these surgeries are nothing more than plastic surgery they

they don't create the phalluses that they create for a female to males are really hideous looking i've had several female to male friends and you look at it and you just go oh god you paid for that it's horrible the sex change didn't solve my discomfort the doctors who are honest will say that the gender dysphoria is always there and it's because the confusion is it's not so much it starts out being about your anatomy but really what it's you don't like yourself. being free and society being i call it in my book a social pariah is not the way you want to live the isolation drives you

to despair and so yeah suicide is a big big thing maybe. yesterday i don't know the first time was right before the surgery in one thousand nine hundred and the only thing that kept me from doing a quiet honest is i'm a coward at heart. just. at the time i wanted in my life and so many i knew had some cocaine so i attempted to use it to kill myself and it obviously didn't work but. my heart was pounding so hard. i thought it was going to come out of my chest. i feel safe. place where people might find

what i do. people. want to be. by the people. they. email it said i'm ready to commit suicide. and it was. for two or three years. i was actually exchanging information with. the day to keep from committing suicide he eventually. made.

everything. computer. to people. it was. everything. to me. when i realized how important it was. to become psychologically emotionally and socially a healthy person that i wanted. to have a way to come back to that same experience that i have and if they have. built a website for sex change. yeah we're doing we're doing good billy contacted me by email like most people do and we began to exchange information and i talked to remind the phone his story was just

like mine he was sexually abused i was sexually abused and that was kind of the trigger point of changing genders. among kids who want to come gets clothes on. the seven years i have to transition into woman and woman. started thinking ok i've been doing this for seven years now my problem should've gone away from by now but they had me and i actually had more problems at that point another problem is just trying to pass. trying to do my hair just try and trying to do my makeup just for i trying to look just right to where people

would not be uncomfortable because you can see when people identify you as being transgender. this isn't why. nothing has really changed i'm still struggling i was better off as i was before the surgery before the hormone treatment and it was at that point five years after the surgery there about that i started to have about changing back that's my student id. and so now it's women that i'll assure you i have a really big adam's apple heavy brown ridge. pretty big. the idea after i had third. when i was transitioning back to mail. in louisiana and the driver's

license i had a lot of other pictures from that period but one day. when i was. looking at the pictures of me back during this period seventy eight years as being female it was so discouraging that i wasted so much of my life in this particular period doing all of this. just in this state that i was. i raised all of the pictures that i had with the computer and destroyed the pictures of me from that period to try to write that period of my life with god's help i went through the change and i went back to being in may. so i went through the surgery and the bad side of it was so much pain and so much discomfort and read

a gratitude and surgery more it made me for. what i had and then when he took the bandages of life to make to show me the skin. i was almost horrified at it to me it was gross but it was surgery and the paperwork that the surgeon gave me. when i had the surgery done the nation really gaming the paperwork and said ok i'm insurge changed to mayo i'm sixty years old there's no reason for me after a lifetime of being in transition to go and start living dressing as a man a name. there's there's there's no. there's no. there's no benefit but there is a benefit and i standing before an audience of young kids in college who are considering this. and saying to them ok i'm the real deal i started living when i

as a woman when i was twenty i've lived forty years of my life i have breast augmentation i've had genital surgery i've had forty years of hormones all of it has not made my life any better it's never solved the problem you break your your left leg you go into a doctor's office and under the transsexual rule of medical treatment they say this is your new normal and we're going to break your right leg too i think it's safe to say. when somebody has been crossed and affirmed physically abused and sexually abused that psychotherapy is the most needed therapy hormones and surgery. was already. a good.

day. her daughter came over to my four christian meeting and it was first met her. and that we. invited her for coffee. so i asked one of my classmates what does that mean. a lot of my younger classmates so so she said at the safeway for asking for her trying to meet up with somebody i shared with her my path. whatever happened. and at that time she said ok let's be friends we had shared the same interests like what i was saying we both like doing stuff especially. but. i don't

know i can't i know he will say he remembers one time we went and we sat down for. i sat close to him when i had the shoulder and it was that point. with changing. that it was ok for me to start. in a romantic wife and i did. the intimate seem to tween rachel and me. with me being surgically altered i. come to want to. enjoy intimacy in that wonderful fresh air. it is beautiful.

for a little bit more right. if you notice. the green is starting to turn back to brown vs me pretty soon after a few bonds. i think i thought about it for not too long maybe a week or two and responded to my older daughter said. she want they want me to be happy. to change back with the big moment came when. i was praying and the lord jesus. to me as a vision in the air is so i could touch him just like i could touch anybody here and he came and reached down to me with his hands and picked me up and

said you're now safe with me forever and it was at that moment that my life changed in a split second. leg of this i'm healthy. many of the people who've gone through this before me are dead. their alcohol like they're still struggling. with their identity and i'm alive and well and healthy and married for twenty one years to my wife. restoration and i'm helping other people what other thing that's better in life when you're reaching out and helping other people with their life. a. little too pretty. to pretty tasty. i am so happy

i am the way i am now. even though i have problems i have a choice to let my problems. me. more to look to see each day as a beautiful day and just to enjoy the wife. in. you and me baby in his hands he you me baby in his hands he's got the whole world.

i've been saying the numbers mean something they matter the u.s. has over one trillion dollars in debt more than ten white collar crime stamped each day. eighty five percent of global wealth you loans to the ultra rich eight point six percent market saw thirty percent just last year some with four hundred to five hundred three per second per second and bitcoin rose to twenty thousand dollars. china is building a two point one billion dollar a i industrial park but don't let the numbers overwhelm. the only numbers you need to remember is one one this will show you can't afford to miss the one and only.

america if it fails for the next actual threat like china becoming a superpower and get its act together and like we did during the cold war oh after russia put up sputnik the us landed on the limb that's why mention the list and look if we have an existential crisis coming down the path of guys like trump and other entrepreneurial you know leaders will mobilize the country and i walk on this challenge because right now america doesn't have anybody else out there to play with you know time for. prosecution will need to become almost. a full. court where you question the threshold finds somebody number one plus you do i mean yeah i mean i mean political pressure on that god you've been to the moon conclude to secure

a dentist who knows what the kind of business models he was my american corporations. he's sold them good mental disease as an abuse he controls the scene. the solution. alys up an association because people don't seek out. new guinea salsa on those it is just really valuable to me to maintain an investigative documentary.