survival guide book stacey just to start. repatriation look at the rest the seventy. or so. if. so the lord god called the command to fall into a deep sleep and while he was sleeping he took one of the men's rooms and then

closed up with flash. i was born a male i started living as a female when i was nineteen years old had a sex change when i was thirty years old i've now been living as a woman for twenty eight years and i fully regret this nobody can change genders it's impossible. it's delusional it's a mental illness. and the lord god made a woman from the room he had taken out of the man and he brought her to the man once i finally had the surgery i went with this was the wrong thing to do it was the wrong thing to do to cut off my male anatomy. command. this is now one of my bones from the flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman for she was taken out of for man that is why

a man leaves his father and mother earth news from nineteen to his wife and they become one flesh the fact of the matter is the forty percent of people who are attempting suicide are people who regret ever changing genders the toff. right there around for. but usually i wake up beforehand it's as though god just wakes me. i read the bible and then i have and then i try to be to dylan and listen for his voice his guidance.

my name is billy burley. living here and poke in the. and i used to work for nasa. and let me show you all around the house a little bit. of the weather over here and. we don't have air conditioning over here and so we keep the doors and windows open for good bit throughout the year. as can any little introverted kid had a speech impediment and tried to talk a lot of people didn't understand me and my body tomi i belong to the boy but now i thought my mind with me and that i belong with the girl.

and i didn't know which way to go and wanted to be like my sisters. i should be like my fifth to earth and where my older sister started wearing makeup . and it was some of her makeup in the bathroom. and then in the sixth grade when i was. on the formerly teen and we had a new diving. he would do when he had a chance he wouldn't play with me he would fondo me and. trying to get me to have an erection and just continue to play with me. a map he should sure into a room. for just

a moment. come on come in and get you into a room back here you were going to keep moving around come on a quiet bad dog bad hold. i will. silence the da. da da da they did lay down. go lay down first off my name is. i'm an author i've written eight books so far three of them to do with transsexuality i was born male grew up in a very conservative republican family my father was pretty much absent most of my childhood he was an alcoholic. my mother was mentally ill childhood was so troubled interest so traumatic that in retrospect i was able to look at it and realize that there was no way i was getting out of childhood normal you go and you

take a shower and you're there to get clean but every time i had to take off my clothes every time i went to bed you know there's no getting around the fact that i wasn't a girl that i was a boy and out really is the one memory that sticks out is just how much i hate. my penis hate it my yes by the time i left high school when i was eighteen i was cross-dressing most of the time once i was away from school and a couple of years afterwards i ended up in san francisco which had a very small gay community and i started i had made the decision by the time i was about twenty to start living full time as a girl. when you start dating people and if you pass well enough the whole purpose is are you a transsexual or are you a woman and my in my mind i was always

a woman i'm wanting to date and i'm not telling the men that i'm dating that i have a pain and so when they find out they become violent there were a couple instances where i was beaten very badly. and i'm a leader of go to center for journey political start our center is very well known especially for transgender surgery and we perform all types of through another surgery of male to female female to male or to do surgery possible complications and one of the. very very. volatile sort of regretful after one a little on the way in transgender transformation we would try all those two to make a detailed list to be of first very functional and then to be. more acceptable in a static code heel if you discuss them both male to female results and much better

because in was surgery we create a completely normal female and this person is usually can have sexual intercourse and enjoy in sexual activity according to our experience more than ninety percent transgender surgery starts to be a very popular. person's doctors and you can you can find up to many drug induced feel i'm going to make my journey to least would be different like now and i would be very nice lady or i would be a very strong man or something ladies enough to that. event like alcohol or drug abuse or something ladies. get away from a seizure of a new beginning to this the main milestone was finding a doctor who would give me the hormones if i get the hormones and female crossed. my life will be perfect and then you think well if i can only get my voice get my

male voice up here then that that'll make me you know just happy and then you think the next thing is well if i can get breast implants. that's all i need it's never enough and finally if you. gone through the therapy and you can convince a doctor to start you know you go and you have a sex change i had my sex change in one thousand nine hundred ninety and in the back of my mind i didn't think i thought it might be like all the other stuff i had done but i was hoping just hoping that would make me feel complete. and i want to get it. so why would you tell your neighbor that you did something

that was so stupid it's absolutely ridiculous to tell a neighbor hey i was a transgendered transition pretty embarrassing you go through a gender change to be that stupid to believe that you can actually change genders you get to be pretty. quick to handle the truth. i was born in los angeles family good people i was taken to my grandmother's house quite frequently as my parents like to go away on the weekend they like to camp and fish. became interested in my grandma's house. and i mentioned something to her about that so she decided to make me a purple dress to put it on and wear the dress i finally got so interested and excited about wearing a dress that i get tired of waiting till i was going to go to grandma's house to

secretly credit strips so i snatched the dress home my mom found the dress. i was never allowed to go to grandma's house again. the first step was i changed my name secretly when i was about thirteen years old to crystal probably in my late twenties. i started to talk to doctors about hormone therapy and i began to take hormone therapy thirty five years ago there wasn't much information and we concluded that based on everything that was available at the time. undergoing hormone therapy further hormone therapy and gender reassignment surgery would be the answer to resolve this quote gender identity disorder that's when i. won nine hundred eighty three i underwent the gender reassignment surgery by dr fiber in trinidad colorado it was amazing i felt like the world had been lifted

from my shoulders and it was really wonderful the only thing i don't know is was it all the medication from five hours of surgery that made me feel this way or was it because i'd gone through the surgery because you're pretty heavily medicated my. female name at the time was laura. welcome to maximize our financial survival guide. looking forward to the down. yanks this is what happens to pensions in britain. you watch kaiser report. peering into the abyss the syrian arab army is determined to liberate did live and

to eliminate the terrorists they are essentially ending this international proxy more the u.s. and its regional allies are dead set against this why is the trumping ministration siding with terrorists. a nice tell why it and a small. little bit apprehensive going into surgery but. a little and fight it seemed finally were at this point and after going into. surgery in the coming out of surgery and being in the. elevator i asked somebody is it gone and they assured me that it was gone. and i was very relieved.

i was losing a lot of the law through the surgical fight. which they did was put. into my news for china. i was excited and finally. this is now behind. now and start my new life. i never had the full ability to have intercourse because the vagina that. they make is so small so any time i tried to have intercourse it was extremely painful in wouldn't happen so these surgeries are nothing more than plastic surgery they they don't create the phalluses that they create for a female to males are really hideous looking i've had several female to male friends and you look at it and you just go oh god you paid for that it's horrible

the sex change didn't solve my discomfort the doctors who are honest will say that the gender dysphoria is always there and it's because the confusion is it's not so much it starts out being about your anatomy but really what it's you don't like yourself. being free and society being i call it in my book a social pariah is not the way you want to live the isolation drives you to despair and so yeah suicide is a big big thing maybe. yesterday i don't know the first time was right before the surgery in one thousand nine

hundred and the only thing that kept me from doing a quiet honest is i'm a coward at heart. at the time i wanted in my life and so many i knew had some cocaine so i attempted to use it to kill myself and it obviously didn't work but. my heart was pounding so hard. i thought it was going to come out of my chest. i feel safe. place where people. want to be.

i'm ready to commit suicide. for two or three years. i was actually exchanging information. he eventually. made. it was.

when i realized how important it was. to be. emotionally. healthy person. to have a way to come back to that same experience and if they have. changed . you know we're doing we're doing good billy contacted me by email like most people do and we began to exchange information and i talked to remind the phone his story was just like mine and he was sexually abused i was sexually abused and that was kind of the trigger point of changing genders. along kids

want to come gets clothes on. the. feet seven years after transitioning to woman and woman. started thinking ok i've been doing this for seven years now my problem should've gone away from by now but they had me and i actually had more problems at that point another problem is just trying to pass. trying to do my hair just try trying to do my makeup just for i trying to look just right to where people would not be on confortable because you can see when people identify you as being transgendered. this isn't why. nothing has

really changed i'm still struggling i was better off if i was before the surgery before the hormone treatment and it was at that point five years after the surgery there about that i started to have about changing back that's my student id. and from now a swim in the last year i have a really big adam's apple heavy brown ridge. pretty big. is the idea after i had third. when i was transitioning to mail. in louisiana and the driver's license i had a lot of other pictures from that period but one day. when i was. looking at the pictures for me back during the seven year period it seven eight

years as being female it was so discouraging that i wasted so much of my life in this particular period doing all of this. just in this state that i was. i raised all of the pictures that i had with the computer and destroyed the pictures of me from that period to try to write that period of my life with god's help i went through the change and i went back to being in may. so i went through surgery and on the bad side of it was so much pain and so much discomfort and read a grad it turned dream or it and then me for. third period that i had been in and then when he took the band in. my stomach to show me the skin. i was almost horrified at it to me it was gross but it was surgery and the

paperwork that the surgeon gave me. when i had the surgery done the nation really gaming the paperwork and said ok i'm in charge changed to mayo i'm sixty years old there's no reason for me after a lifetime of being in transition to go and start living dressing as a man a name. there's there's there's no there's no. there's no benefit him. but there is a benefit and standing before an audience of young kids and college who are considering this. and saying to them ok i'm the real deal i started living when i as a woman when i was twenty i've lived forty years of my life i have breast augmentation i've had genital surgery i've had forty years of hormones all of it has not made my

life any better it's never solved the problem you break your your left leg you go into a doctor's office and under the transsexual rule of medical treatment they say this is your new normal and we're going to break your right leg too i think it's safe to say. when somebody has been cross stressed and affirmed physically abused and sexually abused that psychotherapy is the most needed therapy hormones and surgery. was already. a good. day. her daughter came over to my fourth christian athlete meeting and it was first met her.

and i was. invited to her for coffee and i didn't know it. so i asked one of my classmates what does that mean. a lot of my younger classmates so so she said at the safeway for ask for her trying to meet up with somebody. and. and at that time she said ok let's be for his share the same interests like what i was saying we both like doing stuff especially. but. i don't know i can't i know he will say he remembers one time we were high and we sat down for. i just sat close to him when i had the

shoulder and it was that point. with changing. that it was ok for me to start. in a romantic and i did. for. being to me seem to tween rachel and me. with me being surgically altered i. come to want to. enjoy intimacy and that wonderful fresh air. it is beautiful. for a little bit more right. if you notice. the green is starting to turn back to brown vs me pretty soon after a few bonds. i think i thought about it for not too long maybe

a week or two and responded yes my older daughter said. she want they want me to be happy. to change but the big moment came when. i was praying and the lord jesus appeared to me as a vision in the. i could touch him just like i could touch anybody here and he came and reached down to me with his hands and picked me up and said you're now safe with me forever and it was at that moment that my life changed in a split second. leg of this i'm healthy. many of the people who've gone through this before me are dead. they're out there still struggling. with their

identity and i'm alive and well and healthy and married for twenty one years to my wife. restoration and i'm helping other people what other thing that's better in life when you're reaching out and helping other people with their life. a. little too pretty. to pretty tasty. i am so happy i am the way i am now. even though i have problems i have a choice to let my problems. me. more

to look to see each day as a beautiful day and just to enjoy the wife. in. you and me baby in his hands he you me baby in his hands he's got the whole world.

what politicians do something. they put themselves on the line. to get accepted or rejected. so when you want to be president. or somehow want to be rich. but you'd like to be prosperous like the four three in the morning can't be good but i'm interested always in the why is it our. first so. much of when i'm an older. guy.

we had lines here on our team in the u.s. and russia trade barbs at the un over the syrian government's plan to retake rebel held province coexistence with terrorists is impossible those are all branches of al qaida which we have been fighting since the terror attacks in two thousand and one all we've seen are the actions of cowards interested in a bloody military conquest of it and that's the side bombing kills thirty two people at a rally in afghanistan against a local police chief while the twin blasts in the same province targeted school go worse during morning rush hour.