oh man the first stretch of saying not done maybe is no institutional maybe. not much done today by just thank god he turned to the spotlight would call been turned britain into a racist country or is a media blaming tories i'm a not just terrified about their own political survival you decide that's it for the show on monday we cover what used to be called the nuclear standoff in kashmir as well as go to brixton in south london to investigate the nine hundred eighty s. legacy life behind resumes with drug scandal till then keep in touch by social media with your mother the anniversary of the creation of the occupy wall street movement it's a call to block new york which will spread all around the world. join me every thursday on the alex simon show and i'll be speaking to guest of the world of politics sports business i'm showbusiness i'll see you then.

for the lord god calling commander falling into a deep sleep and while he was sleeping he took one of the man's rooms and then closed her eyes with flash. i was born a male i started living as a female when i was nineteen years old and had a sex change when i was thirty years old i've now been living as a woman for twenty eight years and i fully regret this. nobody can change genders

it's impossible. it's delusional it's a mental illness. and the lord god made a woman from the room he had taken out of the man and he brought her to the man once i finally had the surgery i went with this was the wrong thing to do it was the wrong thing to do to cut off my male anatomy. command. this is now one of my bones from the flesh from my flesh she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man that is why a man leaves his father and mother earth news from nineteen to his wife and they become one flesh the fact of the matter is the forty percent of people who are attempting suicide are people who regret ever changing genders.

and. right there around four o'clock. but usually i wake up beforehand if you. mean. i read the bible and i pray and then i try to be still and and listen for his voice his guidance. my name is billy burley. living here in la polk in this house and i used to work for nasa. and let me show you all around the house a little bit. of the weather over here and post in sync. we don't

have air conditioning over here and so we keep the doors and windows open for good bit throughout the year. canny little introverted kid had a speech impediment and tried to talk but a lot of people didn't understand me and my body told me i belong with the boy but my thoughts are with me and that i belong with the girl. i don't know which way to go i wanted to be like my sisters i thought i should be like my fifty years and my older sisters started wearing makeup. and it was summer. in the bathroom. and then

in the sixth grade when i was. on the summer league team and we had a new. well he would do when he had a chance he wouldn't play with me he would fondo me and. trying to get me to have interaction and just continue to play with me. a mailing a map he should cheer into a room. for just a moment. come on come in and get you into a room back here you were going to keep moving around come on a quiet bad. hold one moment i will. silence the da. da da i don't need to lay down. go lay down first off my name is. i'm an author i've written eight books so far

three of them to do with transsexuality i was born male grew up in a very conservative republican family my father was pretty much absent most of my childhood he was an alcoholic. my mother was mentally ill childhood was so troubled and trips so traumatic that in retrospect i was able to look at it and realize that there was no way i was getting out of childhood normal you go and you take a shower and you're there to get clean but every time i had to take off my clothes every time i went to bathe you know there's no getting around the fact that i wasn't a girl that i was a boy and really is the one memory that sticks out is just how much i hate. my penis hate it my p.s.

by the time i left high school when i was eighteen i was cross-dressing most of the time once i was away from school and a couple of years afterwards i ended up in san francisco which had a very small gay community and i started i had made the decision by the time i was about twenty to start living full time as a girl. when you start dating people and if you pass well enough the whole purpose is are you a transsexual or are you a woman and my in my mind i was always a woman i'm wanting to date and i'm not telling the men that i'm dating that i have a penis and so when they find out they become violent. there were a couple instances where i was beaten very badly. and i'm a leader of center for journey political start our center is very well known especially

for transgender surgery and really perform all types of drugs other surgeries male to female female to male reduce surgery possible complications and one of the. very very. very volatile sort of regretful after one of the on the way in transgender transformation we try always to to make a detail as to be first very functional and then to be. more acceptable in a stud to coat the heel if you discuss them both male to female results and much better because in was surgery we create a completely normal female and this person is usually can have a sexual intercourse and enjoy in sexual activity according to our experience more than ninety percent transgender surgery starts to be a very popular. person's doctors and you can you can find up to

many drug. i'm going to make my journey to lease will be different right now and i will be very nice lady or i will be a very strong man or something ladies enough to that to some event like alcohol or drug abuse or something ladies. get away from a seizure of a new beginning to this the main milestone was finding a doctor who would give me the hormones if i get the hormones and female cross sets or modes my life will be perfect and then you think well if i can only get my voice get my male voice up here then that that'll make me you know just happy and then you think the next thing is well if i can get breast implants. that's all i need it's never enough and finally if you. gone through the therapy and you

can convince the doctor to start cutting on you you go and you have a sex change i had my sex change in one thousand nine hundred ninety and in the back of my mind i didn't think i thought it might be like all the other stuff i had done but i was hoping just hoping it would make me feel complete. i don't want to get it. so why would you tell your neighbor that you did something that was so stupid it's absolutely ridiculous to tell a neighbor hey i was a transgender transition pretty embarrassing you go through a gender change to be that stupid to believe that you can actually change genders you get to be pretty. quick to handle the truth.

i was born in los angeles good family good people i was taken to my grandmother's house quite frequently as my parents like to go away on the weekend to camp and fish. became interested in my grandma's house. and i mentioned something to her about that so she decided to make me a purple dress to put it on and wear the dress i finally got so interested and excited about wearing a dress that i get tired of waiting till i was going to go to grandma's house to secretly cross trips so i snatched the dress home my mom found the dress. i was never allowed to go to grandma's house again. the first step was i changed my name secretly when i was about thirteen years old to crystal probably in my late twenties. i started to talk to doctors about hormone therapy and i began to

take hormone therapy thirty five years ago there wasn't much information and we concluded that based on everything that was available at the time. undergoing hormone therapy further hormone therapy and gender reassignment surgery would be the answer to resolve this quote gender identity disorder that's when i. eighty three i underwent the gender reassignment surgery by dr fiber in trinidad colorado it was amazing i felt like the world had been lifted from my shoulders and it was all really wonderful the only thing i don't know is was it all the medication from five hours of surgery that made me feel this way or was it because i had gone through the surgery because you're pretty heavily medicated my. female name at the time was laura.

so what we've got to do is identify the threats that we have it's crazy. let it be an arms race. spearing dramatic development it only really exists i don't see how that strategy will be successful ready. to sit down. in a nice quiet. little bit apprehensive going into surgery. a little and fired its. point.

after going into. surgery. coming out of surgery. and that it was because. i was very relieved. i was losing a lot of the law through the surgical fight. put. into my new. housing. and finally. start my new life. i never had the full ability to have intercourse because the vagina that they make is so small so any time i tried to

have intercourse it was extremely painful and it wouldn't help so these surgeries are nothing more than plastic surgery they they don't create the fallacy. is that they create for a female to males are really hideous looking i've had several female to male friends and you look at it and you just go oh god you paid for that it's horrible the sex change didn't solve my discomfort the doctors who are honest will say that the gender dysphoria is always there and it's because the confusion is it's not so much it starts out being about your anatomy but really what it's you don't like yourself. being free and society being i call it in my book a social pariah is not the way you want to live the isolation drives you

to despair and so yeah suicide is a big big thing maybe. that day. yesterday i don't know the first time was right before the surgery in one thousand nine hundred and the only thing that kept me from doing a quiet honest is i'm a coward at heart. at the time i wanted in my life and somebody i knew had some cocaine so i attempted to use it to kill myself and it obviously didn't work but. my heart was pounding so hard after i thought it was going to come out of my chest.

i feel safer having done that and that staying in one place where people might find out. what i do and who i am i don't want people. i don't want to be. by the people. i was a leading church one day. three four years ago now and i got to email it said i'm ready to commit suicide. and it was a transgender. for two or three years. i was actually exchanging information and talking with him on some level up to five times a day to keep from committing suicide he eventually. computer made. and this is.

need any more than this. everything is. on the computer. to people. for twenty five years. it was when i did. everything begin to make sense to me. when i realized how important it was. to become psychologically emotionally and socially a healthy person that i wanted others who wanted to be transition to have a way to come back to that same experience that i have and if they have regret and want to. change. you know we're doing we're doing good billy contacted me by email like most people

do and we began to exchange information and i talked to remind the phone his story was just like mine and he was sexually abused i was sexually abused and that was kind of the trigger point of changing genders. among kids. come kids clothes on. t.v. seven years after transitioning to woman and woman. started thinking ok i've been doing this for seven years now my problem should've gone away from by now but they had me and i actually had more problems at that point another problem is just trying to pass. trying to do my hair just try trying to do my

makeup just for i trying to look just right to where people would not be on confortable because you can see when people identify you as being transgendered. this isn't why. nothing has really changed i'm still struggling i was better off as i was before the surgery before the hormone treatment and it was at that point five years after the surgery there about that i started to have about changing back that's my student id. and for now a swim in the last year i had a really big adam's apple heavy brown ridge. pretty big. the idea after i had third

jury. when i was transitioning to mail. in louisiana and the driver's license i had a lot of other pictures from that period but one day. when i was. looking at the pictures for me back during this period seventy eight years of being female it was so discouraging that i wasted so much my own life in this particular period doing all of this. just in this state that i was. i raised all of the pictures that i had with the computer and destroyed the pictures of me from that period to try to write that period of my life with god's help i went through the change and i went back to being male so i went through a bad surgery and on the bad side of it was in so much pain

and so much discomfort and read a gratitude and third dream or it made me first i thought that i had and then when he took the band in. my stomach to show me the skin. i was almost horrified at it to me it was gross but it was surgery and the paperwork that the surgeon gave me. when i had the surgery done the nation really gaming the paperwork and said ok i'm changed to mayo i'm sixty years old there's no reason for me after a lifetime of being in transition to go and start living dressing as a man a name. there's there's there's no. there's no.

one knew i was going to change back but the big moment came when. i was praying and the lord jesus appeared to me as a vision in the area so i could touch him just like i could touch anybody here and he came and reached down to me with his hands and picked me up and said you're now safe with me forever and it was at that moment that my life changed in a split second. leg of this i'm healthy. many of the people who've gone through this before me are dead. their alcohol like they're still struggling. with their identity and i'm alive and well and healthy and married for twenty one years to my wife. three dimension restoration and i'm helping other people what other thing that's better in life when you're

reaching out and helping other people with their life. a. little too pretty. to pretty tasty. i am so happy i am the way i am now. even though i have problems i have a choice to let my problems. me. more to look to see each day as a beautiful day and just to enjoy the wife. in his. pantheons got you and me baby in his hands he's got communing with me

fabian and has hands he's got the whole world and head in hand movements. and and. feet. still dollars dollar bills ten dollars. bill thirty seven billion of those are printed every day there's no backing there is no collateral there are ious

against the system twenty two twenty one twenty two trillion in debt. don colluding with the medicare medicaid social security that would give it a under thirty trillion in. the headlines heroin off to the world on t. day p. more stock says it will discuss reinstating the russian on two day pin agency is a member after it was suspended in twenty fifteen amid claims of state sponsored

cheating. more than hoffa french people polled by the u.s. is no longer a trusted ally as president micron prepares to cozy up to trump once more in the hands of an official visit. day full of russia's largest minshew drills in decades sees the for.