tried to talk but a lot of people didn't understand me and my body told me i belong to the boy but my thoughts not mine with me and that i belong with the girls. i don't know which way to go i wanted to be like my sisters i thought i should be like my festers and where my older sister started wearing makeup. and it was some of her makeup in the bathroom. and then in the sixth grade when i was. on the formerly teen and we had a new guy. he would do when he had a chance he wouldn't play with me he would fondo me and.

try to get me to have an erection and just continue to play with me. a mailing a map he should sure into a room. for just a moment. come on criminal and get you into a room back here you were going to keep moving around come on a quiet bad dog bad. i will try to silence the dog. dotty dotty though they did lay down. go lay down first off my name is. i'm an author i've written eight books so far three of them to do with transsexuality i was born male grew up in a very conservative republican family my father was pretty much absent most of my childhood he was an alcoholic. my mother was mentally ill the childhood

was so troubled and so traumatic. in retrospect i was able to look at it and realize that there was no way i was getting out of childhood normal you go and you take a shower and you're there to get clean but every time i had to take off my clothes every time i went to bed you know there's no getting around the fact that i wasn't a girl that i was a boy and really is the one memory that sticks out is just how much i hate. my penis hate it my penis by the time i left high school when i was eighteen i was cross-dressing most of the time once i was away from school and a couple of years afterwards i ended up in san francisco which had a very small gay community and i started i had made the decision by the time i was about twenty to start living full time as

a girl. when you start dating people and if you pass well enough the whole purpose is are you a transsexual or are you a woman and my in my mind i was always a woman i'm wanting to date and i'm not telling the men that i'm dating that i have a penis and so when they find out they become violent. there were a couple instances where i was beaten very badly. and i'm a leader of the for journey political start our center is very well known especially for transgender surgery and me perform all types of trauma for the surgery male to female female to male or to do surgery possible complications and one of the. very very. volatile sort of regretful after one of the way in transgender transformation we really try oldest to to make

a detail is to be first very functional and then to be. more acceptable in a stud to coat the heel if you discuss them both male to female results and much better because in was surgery we create a completely normal female and this person is usually can have sexual intercourse and enjoy in sexual activity according to our experience more than ninety percent transgender surgery starts to be a very popular. person's doctors and you can you can find up to many drug. i'm going to make my journey to lease will be different like now and i will be a very nice lady or i will be a very strong man or something ladies and up to that. some event like alcohol or drug abuse or something ladies. get away from a seizure of a new beginning to this the main milestone was finding

a doctor who would give me the hormones if i get the hormones and female cross sets or modes my life will be perfect and then you think well if i can only get my voice get my male voice up here then that that'll make me you know just happy and then you think the next thing is well if i can get breast implants. that's all i need it's never enough and finally if you. gone through the therapy and you can convince a doctor to start cutting on you know you go and you have a sex change i had my sex change in one thousand nine hundred ninety and in the back of my mind i didn't think i thought it might be like all the other stuff i had done but i was hoping just hoping it would make me feel complete.

and i want to get it. so why would you tell your neighbor that you did something that was so stupid it's absolutely ridiculous to tell a neighbor hey i was a transgender transition pretty embarrassing you go through a gender change to be that stupid to believe that you can actually change genders you get to be pretty. quick to handle the truth. i was born in los angeles the family good people i was taken to my grandmother's house quite frequently as my parents like to go away on the weekend they like to camp and fish. became interested in my grandma's house. and i mentioned something to her about that so she decided to make me

a purple dress to put it on and wear the dress i finally got so interested and excited about wearing a dress that i get tired of waiting till i was going to go to grandma's house to secretly. snatch the dress home my mom found the dress. i was never allowed to go to grandma's house again. to change my name secretly when i was about thirteen years old to crystal probably in my late twenties. i started to talk to doctors about hormone therapy and i began to take hormone therapy thirty five years ago there wasn't much information and we concluded that based on everything that was available at that time. undergoing hormone therapy further hormone therapy and gender reassignment surgery would be the answer to resolve this quote gender identity disorder that's when i in

april of one thousand nine hundred eighty three i underwent the gender reassignment surgery by dr biber in trinidad colorado it was amazing i felt like the world had been lifted from my shoulders and it was really wonderful the only thing i don't know is was it all the medication from five hours of surgery that made me feel this way or was it because i had gone through the surgery because you're pretty heavily medicated my. female name at the time was laura jensen. twenty four to you know bloody revolution to quit the demonstrations going from being relatively peaceful political protests to be increasingly violent revolution is always spontaneous or is it just always.

spoiling the total of the ukrainian president recalls the events of twenty four and . those who took. invested over five billion dollars to assist you in these and other goals that will ensure a secure and prosperous and democratic. led . by the survival guide ecstacy just like all of a start simply at. least if you don't step back. it says a repatriation team will look at the rest of seventy years. philippa separate kaiser for this. ministries police forces and city administrations of many countries depend on one corporation that does what mike was hoping the board doesn't run from on the eyes of god i'm stumped and this is going

to guns into the. woods as that's even on into the sea it's just like proprietary software you don't know the source code isn't that such a security risk when you have a black box operating in the public eye to microsoft's dependency puts governments under a cyber threat and not only that something's off message and put us in mortal. self and so is this an easy sell the solstice will be one of them will still be going to most of the world didn't miss you all do some of those. things this is the i still. don't miss the old version stopped and there was a string of phone calls in front is up and describes in the fine. print. of.

the post here in a nice tailwinds quiet a small. only little bit apprehensive going into surgery but all for a little and fight it seemed final where at this point. after going into the. surgery in the coming out of surgery and being in the. elevator i asked somebody is a call and they assured me that it was god. i was very relieved. i was losing a lot of through the surgical. which they did was put.

into my new. finally this is done. now and start my new. i never have the full ability to have intercourse because the vagina that they make is so small so any time i tried to have intercourse it was extremely painful and it wouldn't happen so these surgeries are nothing more than plastic surgery they they don't create the phalluses that they create for a female to males are really hideous looking i've had several female to male friends and you look at it and you just go oh god you paid for that it's horrible the sex change didn't solve my discomfort the doctors who are honest will say that the gender dysphoria is always there and it's because the confusion is it's not so

much it starts out being about your anatomy but really what it's you don't like yourself. being free and society being i call it in my book a social pariah is not the way you want to live the isolation drives you to despair and so yeah suicide is a big big thing maybe. where you thought. yesterday i don't know the first time was. right before the surgery in one thousand nine hundred and the only thing that kept me from doing a quite honest is i'm a coward at heart. i didn't if i. was being

transgendered. this isn't why. nothing has really changed i'm still struggling i was better off if i was before the surgery before the hormone treatment it was a bad point five years after the surgery they're about i started to have about changing back that's my student id. and so now it's women that i have a really big adam's apple. pretty big. the idea after i had third. when i was transitioning back to mail. in louisiana that's the driver's license i had a lot of other pictures from that period but one day. when i was.

looking at the pictures of me back during this period seventy eight years of being female it was so discouraging that i wasted so much my life in this particular period doing all of this. just in this state that i was. i raised all of the pictures that i had with the computer and destroyed the pictures of me from that period to try to write that period of my life with god's help i went through the change and i went back to being male so i went through surgery and on the bad side of it was. much pain and so much discomfort read to grab it. more then me for.

life to share me with. to me it was growth but it was. in the paperwork to me. when i had the surgery done initially he gave me the paperwork ok. i'm sixty years old there's no reason for me after a lifetime of being in transition to go and start living dressing as a man a name. there's there's there's no there's no. there's no benefit but there is a benefit and my standing before an audience of young kids and college who are considering this. and saying to them ok i'm the real deal i started living when i as a woman when i was twenty i've lived forty years of my life i had breast augmentation

i've had genital surgery i've had forty years of hormones all of it has not made my life any better it's never solved the problem you break your your left leg you go into a doctor's office and under the transsexual rule of medical treatment they say this is your new normal and we're going to break your right leg too i think it's safe to say that when somebody has been cross stressed and affirmed physically abused and sexually abused that psychotherapy is the most needed therapy hormones and surgery. i was already. a baby girl. and her daughter came over to my

fourth all the shipper christian athletes meeting and it was bigger than i first met her. and that was in two thousand. and. three and i didn't know what that meant. so i asked one of my classmates what does that mean. to my younger classmates so so she said it was a safe way for asking for her trying to meet up with somebody i shared with her my past and what had happened and how i was. and at that time she said ok let's be friends please share the same interests like what i was saying we both like do instant especially. but. i can't i know he will say he remembers one time we were high and we said.

i was close to him when i had no. i mean with that point. with changing. and that it was ok for me to start. in a romantic wife and i did. exhort you would. be into the mainstream to tween rachel in me. with me being surgically altered i. come to want to work. we enjoy intimacy. or feel fresh air. fresh air is good. it is beautiful praying for a little bit right. if you notice. the green is starting to turn back to

brown vs me pretty soon after a few monts. i think i thought about it for not too mom maybe a week or two and responded yes my older daughter said. she want they want me to be happy. is going to change back but the big moment came when i was praying and the lord jesus appeared to me as a vision in the area so i could touch him just like i could touch anybody here and he came and reached down to me with his hands and picked me up and said you're now safe with me forever and it was at that moment. my life changed in

a split second. leg of this i'm healthy. many of the people who've gone through this before me are dead. they're out there still struggling. with their identity and i'm alive and well and healthy and married for twenty one years to my wife. restoration and i'm helping other people what other thing that's better in life when you're reaching out and helping other people with their life. no. it is. still pretty. tasty and i am so happy i am the way i am now. even though i have

problems i have a choice to let my problems. burden me. for too long to see each day as a beautiful day and just to enjoy life. in his hand in you and me baby in his hands he's got viewing me baby in his hands he's got the whole world and it is.

prosecution will need to become almost. the fault is all. over you push us off the thread you'll find somebody known to seem to i mean yeah yeah i mean did our political pressure on that god you've. told on earth were securely jenison knows what upon your bundled up business models he was by american corporations jadhav wasn't called police hold on couldn't matilda's it as an m.p. use the controls on the scene and the solution. lies up in association with. newton he saw swindles it is just simply his ability to maintain an investigative documentary.

ghost war on r.t. . walls already on the table which they are exits that's discrimination and margin the way zation of the ukrainian orthodox church once such cool if acceptance will presuppose that the ukrainian norse of the church should change its name and that it should be a name to the russian of course the church in the ukraine it is something like put sings the. yellow star on the jew with the in z. in it's this.

is the list on. my side i said to me i judge this is. not in. there a little bit to it. i mean in the him a ride on a mission about a lane i. look. in the foot of the duck i. don't want the money i don't want to give up. some which isn't really. a mystery just. going on the downswing going on in a shuffle stemming we have been down. in the world and you know that i will go off and then you know will. or will and so.

shall i do you each thought on this i will study. in the stories that shaped the way karen r.t. r.t. said her in chief speaks exclusively to the two russians accused of poisoning sergei skin to pal and his daughter sending much of the media and many british

politicians into overdrive courting the men's claims adjustor. terrorists film scenes of a false flag chemical attack to send to the un post online so you with the hope of discrediting the syrian government that's according to the russian military. and told from signed a new executive order aiming to defend all future u.s. elections from foreign made.