collapse across america the ecological collapse says he was going to california wildfires and hurricanes across the nation and the busted pipes in detroit leading our state voicing of love yes yes you can because they give money to the bad people . headline some say the new york times claims russia has been waging a fake news campaign against the west since save me a time. the pentagon felt this. tough to spending millions of dollars to check spending on weapons on tests now. and crowds and can met the man the chairman chant says resignation is i'm going to medical visits the city three months off to empty my foot riots. and the latest on these stories have to. stay with us thanks for the big picture. of this week's show here comes

thanksgiving and who will be the turkey your dinner table and etiquette expert has a place for keeping the banks in thanksgiving and keeping your friends and family from strangling each other and jim of caustic gets his press pass back we'll talk about it with larry king but first what the entire holiday season brings stress how to keep your cool beyond the usual holland cook in washington this is the big picture on our t.v. america. billy joel saying you'll have to learn to pace yourself just like everybody else and he's right we all feel pressure how best to cope and how to spot. void the

causes of stress let's ask dr john huber a clinical forensic psychologist and chairman for mainstream mental health a nonprofit organization that brings lasting and positive change to the lives of individuals who suffer from mental health issues he joins us from austin texas and in artie's new york studio nancy collier psychotherapist and author of among other books the power of off the mind full way to stay sane in a virtual world nancy is a popular speaker on the issue of well being welcome back to both of you. thank you paula when we three spoke last back in june that was when anthony bourdain took his life and that provoked a national conversation about suicide the ultimate expression of stress homicide obviously a close second nancy what are the more common and commonly overlooked signs that someone just isn't coping well. well when somebody isn't coping well very often

these days what we're seeing is substance abuse and substance abuse can be too much technology or it can be too much drinking of course or it can be saturday halves or anything else we can see somebody just becoming more withdrawn you know we think of stress as something that amp somebody up. but often the it takes the form of a kind of low level depression or withdrawal can't take any more kind of overwhelm so mostly way we want to just keep the dialogue open with anyone we care about to keep inquiring do you feel it's too much at this time of year or with what you're managing in your life what's important is that we not let then disappear into the stress which then can rule to depression how about it john we should question our own frame of mind when what. well one of the things you know

she mentioned exactly right it's a lot like low level depression but one of the more common acceptable. states of motion for that is anger so when we find ourselves being really short tempered not be able to handle things that we normally should that's when we should be looking at ourselves going to wait a minute something's going on here and oftentimes if we can restructure that person perspective that it's a challenge as opposed to all my god this is overwhelming it can sometimes set us back enough that we can handle things without blowing up and losing that edge that control we're talking about the attacks of stress let's talk cause and reading up on this i kept seeing references to and i hope i'm pronouncing this right the holmes ra he stressed scale apparently the top ten stressful life events are death of a spouse divorce marriage separation imprisonment death of a close family member injury or illness marriage job loss marriage reconciliation

and retirement so despite any surprises on that list those are all obvious foreseeable triggers and that's what sort of day to day things contribute to the drip drip drip of stress well try living today day to day right the amount of responsibilities and business that we have in our lives is overwhelming for most people we can't get to the bottom of our inbox and yet we're managing really more than the human nervous system can manage and on top of that we have a world that is. it's in disarray really right at the moment and there's so many things that are frightening people there's so many things that's seen outside a window of basic ok ness and when we get reports that you know our environment may

not make it till our children become adults or these sorts of reports that you know there's so much disarray in our political system whatever it is going on it's creating a kind of chronic level of stress on top of the demands that modern life require which technology and you know availability twenty four seven always being on high for hyper vigilant and i think notification coming in if it's too much it's at a tipping point hey john about that point the technology when we spoke in june you made the point that the irony that social media leads to isolation talk about how that dynamic cannot someone off balance emotionally. well you think you're getting this social connection when in fact you're just getting a little bit of a dose of mean bump every time you make a connection with with one of your online friends and you're missing all the other types of internal reinforcement that you get when you see

a real person for example you see a friend walking down the hall they smile at you at work and you know you shake your hand you take a moment and you make that good eye contact there's a whole lot of other reinforcing neurotransmitters and hormones going on that are triggering all at the same time including that dopamine so you're getting the full nutritional balance and it makes us feel complete and whole whereas when we are online we just get that dopamine drip and it's much like a heroin addiction only obviously much less intense but the only way to make you feel better is to get another one so then you isolate yourself you're not communicating with other human beings in person. you're losing that non-verbal communication of those skills in some cases people are have been on so long they don't have them anymore and so when they do see people they drop their eyes down they're not making good eye contact and they're not connecting with those individuals and then that reinforces that isolation all the way around actually

a biochemical factor to it nancy is the day to day toll we hear in the age of trump making things worse. absolutely this rage and negativity that's everywhere and i just want to piggyback too on something that john said there which is there are two things going on one is the additional stressors the level of stressors that are escalating rapidly but also that we're not spending enough time with the activities that actually calm us down that make us feel well of the getting together with people the way we're connecting with people as john was saying that we're not really connecting with them we're not listening we're not landing with people we're not being with those other human beings so we're not doing the things you know an old fashioned thing like taking time out to contemplate your life and make meaning out of it to give service all of

these things they come stress so we're adding a whole bunch of day to day and also more generalized stress or stressors to our life but without that alan seeing it with the nourishment and comfort and calm of connection of service of all the things that make us feel all ok i'm part of a community i'm part of something i have support here and that combination of adding the difficult and not also adding our support system is very dangerous right john i. got about thirty seconds but i've got to ask you here come the holidays is blue christmas a busier time for the work you do. it really isn't i mean we talk about it becomes because becomes apparent with our friends and family they see how we're

actually feeling at that point and they encourage us a lot but in my practice i don't see a bump actually. the only time that i see a big shift right now is in the summertime when nobody wants to get diagnosed with some mental illness or potentially diagnosed before they go on vacation so they wait until after that all right thank you dr john huber and nancy collier and happy holidays to you and now you tell us. how do you d.c. stress tweet me at holland cook coming up thursday we will give thanks unless some turkey turns dinner into a shouting match tips for keeping thanks in thanksgiving or coming up next this is the big picture on our team america.

because she says that she doesn't have to do is dish to achieve the goal choosing. the gender of us government doesn't. by the government. which is if we can come us in and interesting in the world failing to do. thursday will be thanksgiving day here in the usa and all too often warm family gatherings can turn hot when i crazy uncle or tipsy aunt or some other turkey goes a word too far should you hide the cutlery can you keep your guests from strangling

each other lisa gosh a beverly hills manners dot com is here and lisa is the founder of a firm that advises major corporations and brands and even oscar winning celebrities she's a nationally recognized expert and the author of beverly hills manners golden rules from the world's most glamorous zip code her must see website beverly hills manners dot com and lisa joins us from our studios in los angeles lisa welcome back. thank you so much for having me holland happy to be here the phrase thanksgiving dinner gauzy norman rockwell picture but if you're hosting it's a minefield even before this a rising president the most dangerous item on the thanksgiving menu was always politics is it more so in the trump era. i think many people would say yes in answer to that question it happens to be probably one of

the more contentious times that we're experiencing in recent history so when people come together at this time of year which is i think typically you know one of the holidays the people most look forward to you know getting together with family and friends surrounded by a gorgeous meal homemade cooking etc this is where i would say in order for us to have kind of a peaceful experience with our bird to keep the table talk off the turkey and on to the sides you know when we talk about getting to the meat of the matter it's more about actually not getting to the meat of the matter but focusing on the sides which i call sort of those more gentle and kinder. focuses i guess or experiences that we can converse and enjoy one another's company with well in

advance of the holiday i've asked lisa to offer some tips for keeping the thanks in thanksgiving and tip number one you say make it formal of fear do you mean literally. well i actually do you know years ago people would get dressed for a meal and i know that many people may prefer to have those stretchy pants and the comfy sweaters especially when we're going to be enjoying a very big meal however when we do take the time to get dressed for dinner it actually how. it's to set the tone for the evening and i think if we're wearing something a little bit more constricted that we may actually be more encouraged or inclined to hold our tongue and keep things in a more elegant atmosphere and you know be a little bit more reserved and mindful of what comes out of our mouth use interesting you'd say that because the black tie things you get invited to here in washington people do seem to be behave

a little better when they are in black tie and i know you're not suggesting go that formal but the package does govern the person. it really does it really does and again just that idea of setting the tone think about it when you get dressed up you actually take smaller bites you focus more on the conversation then you know gorging yourself with that meal and that's really what we're talking about is being present for those that are in front of us on this day right i expected your number to tip ration the alcoholic beverages you're seeing ration your only intake right. absolutely i mean we know we can't control others right so the only people we can control are ourselves and granted alcohol does help to take the edge off i mean it softens it softens our you know ruffled feathers a bit and allows our in to settle down however we really do want to make

sure that we don't have more than really one drink and to supplement that with eating food throughout the day or the evening because you know when those him are down we may be tempted to say something that could send us down a very wrong road and so what i advise people is just to nurse one drink all night long like i said keep grazing throughout the evening on other food fill your glass with a nonalcoholic beverage maybe a sparkling. anything sparkling really and add something flavorful like a choose to that in a piece of lime nobody will be the wiser but you'll at least wake up the next morning feeling much better about yourself safe and sound that nothing came out of your mouth that you know you would want your grandmother to hear number three of six tips for keeping the thanks and thanksgiving you say keep it light and breezy and that seems like wishful thinking if people start arguing about politics joy of

a prayer of diverting to hear those words. well i do think that most people still have a sense of humor in this country so we want to think about injecting the humor into the thanksgiving experience so whether that be popping in a i can't say popping in a video actually but turning on some fun film or you know spontaneously suggesting a game of charades or listening to some funny podcast whatever it may be anything to distract you and your gas. and inject that levity and humor into just the atmosphere it did get it will lower sort of everybody's perhaps the you know tense way of feeling you know when they come together sometimes because when we have family in particular somehow they know how to touch that exact button that may set

us off and that's what we want to avoid on this day of all days right which we just want to have you know digest our turkey in peace we're speaking with author and etiquette expert lisa ghosh a from beverly hills manners dot com and even without understanding it i love your tip number four get with your hand meaning. exactly so taking a note about you know having your turkey in peace whatever it takes to calm your nerves before you sit down with you know especially family and sometimes friends you know whether that be taking jog around the block or doing a last minute you know five minute meditation in your car or just simply counting to ten any of these simple tools will help relax us and help us to allow the slightest remark just gently roll off our shoulders or give someone the benefit of

the benefit of the doubt because again on this day it's about enjoyment we want to give thanks we want to be present for each other's company and just spend time on one day of the year where we can just relax really and take the edge off your number five tip seems like good advice every day you say connect with the complement hold the criticism of human nature. absolutely so when we think about you know we feel as if today people are perhaps more critical than they are complimentary so if we think about how we can engage in conversation with someone a compliment is actually an excellent way to do that and when we are seeing people that we haven't seen perhaps you know over a year a compliment will really warm them up immediately and it should be something that

sounds organic and authentic and you might be surprised that that person who may not be expecting a compliment will actually soften and pay you a compliment in return and lisa gushers website is beverly hills manners lisa thank you and happy thanksgiving. thank you to you to holland. our special guest today would be amused by the nonchalance in my voice when people say what time is your show the big picture on and i say i'm on friday nights at seven right after larry king welcome good to see or not to be associated. non-stop all you have a breaking news as we speak this afternoon a federal judge has issued a temporary restraining order saying that jim acosta has to get his white house press pass back at least for now fifth amendment due process issue apparently even if trump never calls on him again this is at least going to be a distraction has he went with the fifth amendment idea rather than the first

amendment you know one believe rule finally this is an interim t.r.o. we're told but has the daley process the trump translated by sarah huckabee sanders daily white house briefing has it lost all its factual uselessness now is it a sideshow it's it's part of the whole picture it's it is it's a side show it's reality t.v. had nothing to do with governing it's a show the whole thing is a show and when jim acosta did that he became part of the show so trump love that. the action of to talk about this now bam and then to be reinstated maybe a band of again and all that goes with him on and we drift over here for a little dance to a little to try to outside the stonework describe fails. oh i had

a bad day i'm going to fire somebody all of it is drama all of it has nothing to do with governing squirrel you know no president and you've known a bunch of them you've interviewed a bunch of them seven no president in our lifetime has had the gift for stealing attention like this president why do the media take the bait they do. i don't know i'm not a fan of about taking the bait i wouldn't have taken the bait i don't think i'm a c.n.n. would have made me take the bait i ranted on or i don't politicking i don't do that or two we do politics but i don't take the bait. troll became a cashier and then started covering every speech he made right and he had forty five guys running and they carry their speech that trump made was great copy yeah so when he blasts c.n.n. he go to thank them now recently fox has stopped taking everything he does they used to take the rallies live and now they don't i think we got

a little embarrassed when on the eve of the election hannity. wound up being part of the introduction introduce a good and praising him which made fox news an oxymoron. if it wasn't already have it well but that was ridiculous the. amount of time we've been doing this and. you're the only person on our team america older than i am and when i started doing what we do there was something called newsweek they had to get a magazine together by friday that would still seem relevant on monday there was something called the evening news and uncle walter was so odd to the way it is but now by evening you know what the news is you got all day on your phone how if any has what you do changed as the media has evolved to try to do the same thing i've always done. you know i started in one nine hundred fifty seven so we were on phone lines and then along came satellites and now the end it would hell is the internet

where is it was that i'm looking for a q. . and i've seen all around the world and it's. but everything if you get that phone everybody's a journalist you tweet out your journals right it winds up not meaning anything i don't know where it's going aren't. very concerned maybe five is over eighty five on monday. and i've been broadcasting sixty one years and i have no idea where tomorrow is my kids have grown children but i have one nine hundred eighteen teenagers never seen them read a newspaper write. i've lived in a sphere but the interview the skill the craft that you do hasn't changed has it. i still do it but i don't see go out of it do you want to carry in-depth dick cavett told me when he was a young guy jack whispered in his ear he says don't do interviews make it

a conversation why do i do an interview it's a conversational interview it is a q. and a there is a question mark at the end of every of my sentences i like to ask questions i am intensely curious and it's a gift and that's something and i don't forty years our president doesn't have i would have he does not have curiosity you've known him a long time a long time what surprises you about what. he's done or how he's done it in the first two years of this administration all the political trouble i knew was a moderate republican who supported hillary clinton. who favored. he favored health care for all on the basis of what you would do you are and pro-choice pro-life very registered democrats newry limousine liberal right very pro-choice very new york. but he found a niche and he found

a base sadly a lot of that base. it is a racism tinge to it because picking on the other guy blame him as it's marred a lot of dictators have done it i think trump would enjoy it if they made you king thank you would do but there's only one king of toffler you can get out of like you for being with us and free speech lives for of this is larry king whose show is on just before mine fridays at six thirty on r.t. america and after each show we come here and do a dance question for. and thank you for watching the big picture if you see us somewhere else you can also find r.t. america on direct t.v. channel three two one and dish two eight zero are on demand it youtube dot com slash the big picture our team watch any show any time anywhere on any device

i'm holland cook in washington at holland cook on twitter if you follow me i'll follow you till next week question more. honoring the one hundredth anniversary of the end of the first world war french president emmanuel mccrone claimed patriotism is the exact opposite of nationalism this is widely seen as a criticism of donald trump after all trying to call some self a nationalist is nationalism

a dirty word so. this manufactured consensus instead. if public will. when the ruling classes protect themselves. with the final. listen to the one percent. we can all middle of the

room sick. welcome to city uncombed sophie shevardnadze the recent exchange of fire between hamas and israel has sparked fears of another war is the middle east peace process on the verge of collapse well today i talked to a good bar up former prime minister of israel. the pail of hamas rockets over israel has rocked the nation sparking military strikes from gaza civilian casualties and even ministers resigning shaken the ruling coalition with a cease fire hastily put in place last for much longer will israel's reluctant

restraint help stop another looming gaza war or only embolden hamas to carry out more attacks. it would be iraq the former prime minister of israel welcome to the show it is great to have you with us so mr barak the latest. the latest escalation in gaza broke out after two hamas commanders were killed and watched israeli special forces rate hamas fired hundreds of rockets into israel in response well israel the planes bombed the hundred of sites in gaza over the past few days now as a military man tell me why provoke palestinians if it's known in advance that any sort of undercover military action there will end up in heavy response from the militants. i cannot fully explain the palestinian behavior but that threatens the normalcy of life of our. citizens on.