tv Redacted Tonight RT December 29, 2018 6:30pm-7:00pm EST
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it would depress me gets no love there would be no pleasant letter no but we went down to miami we did another redacted stand up comedy special and we ended up with some amazing footage that we burned you know we have it here for you right now and i don't know what will let real quick real quick twenty eight it was a big year we did a lot we got a lot done redacted what do you think twenty and ten you happy to see it go over. here and sell the show. had a good run i was going to say like you know i'm a big fan big fan of or not and i can't remember anything that we cover but i know that it was important and i think that there's still a lot of problems going on in america so we'll probably be good for twenty nineteen and i do have one and still surprise you have a voice by the end yeah well not all of our social media accounts but a few of them are still we're still trucking along and it's meant a literal. and yeah i hear a lot and i'm. the idea that we're still allowed to be aired anywhere oh
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that's a good. deal about that right now you know i mean listen i'm prepared you know let's get to our first clip right here with my man john of o'donnell down in miami so when i first heard in miami i was like oh and then i was like wait why the we come in but. i've never been. heard is it is all about over the top material is. cooking. the bottle service is cuban. is. in so surely. a few pairs of hands. how to strip. possibly going to work out in my favor
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a man i shouldn't big hair i should not be a bear i should be up in burlington vermont. running naked through the what's howling at them. like that dirty hippie how am i. talking can't have course i'm like to be air you guys are awesome miami so i will say this there is a there's a silver lining to the trump residency that you guys might not know about i'll say so in d.c. it is just like completely filled with mainstream democrats who are democrats very like the people that live within the district it's very much like hillary country it went almost ninety three percent and d.c. voted for clinton the last election and they still can't believe to this day our one of the most unpopular candidates ever going to possibly be like babblings i have right i don't never forget this on election night. after job one it's really
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late like until that leaving office i'm walking around the corner to catch a cab and there's this guy walking in and he's really angry he's got like going on with her sticker on he's like furious and he comes up to me he goes like excuse me and i living in a parallel universe or he thought up front just become the president i'm. going to go i go dear and i said to him why hell if yer living in a parallel universe i'm going into because yeah you did it and then he goes he goes i can't believe it and then right as he says that out are nowhere and you hear before you see it jesse ventura shows up and he goes oh i can both behave was. the two koran parties i'm all over the american people are so log on now law quad have been and these democrats and rock pop law blogs have sold out they are american people don't. i have spent a long time on
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a god and the american people have woken up and they are a sponsor of the establishment's strong suit corporate parties should be ashamed of themselves cause and effect brother. i do like the yeah. and then i get angry held back because i was just shocked i was like oh. this is like i said or what it is now it's like. a loving every minute of it and then i swear to god as jesse starts to walk away just walks away and then bagpipes started playing super loud out of nowhere i couldn't find the source but it was amazing and none of that would have been if donald trump didn't win the presidency . silver lining. silver lining since this is very well well done well done i thought you story. not true at all though
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it was yeah it is resisting very essential. there but i didn't make an appearance on the show sorry about that yeah when i you know you were in a while booming voice chime in and it was with me and what i was workshopped the joke in my head when i was writing it on the plane ride down to miami i didn't see it you know i don't know you just didn't read right you know and i don't know necessarily where jesse ventura came from does he just like show up as proof and play like smoke was it was there a closed book is what i want to know well like i said the best thing was that we like heard him before we saw it you know yeah and so you just hear this booming voice and then there's that what happens before you die if i can hear it. yet you when you die you then me just even yeah here is he appears at the pearly gate he is the lord he's the bouncer all. ballots are about to the pearly gates all right. did
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you are next up this is correspondent natalie mcgill so this isn't so much for coming out the flight here was the light full just got enough time in to get an in-flight movie if you don't see that it movie by the way the movie with the clown in the sewer grate all right good for you cannot see it i refused to see that movie i don't be scared movies also my friend the other day that i hadn't seen that movie yet and she was like all right well was the last scary movie you saw i was like oh the test of the emergency broadcast system. who's a three am showing my studio apartment by myself. like i consider myself like a strong independent black woman until that comes on. then i'm looking for husbands on bumbled at four o'clock in the morning. i just wish i could have been in the boardroom though when they came up with what that was
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going to sound like. was it just like to do it in a conference room with what if we made a sound like an ambulance and everybody knows it had to have sounds like nobody would pay attention to it all right what if we made it sound like dial up internet is coming to slit our throats. xiu might have something there. i'm over thirty so most of my friends are married now and i wouldn't rule out getting married one day just so i would have the dual income to afford my friend's wedding gifts now. because that is getting out of control i was on my friend's register the other day and i'm looking at it like you want you want to six hundred dollars blender you don't even do cross fit you. can you do a box jump first before i take out a loan to buy you a bite it makes. i was actually at a friend's wedding
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a couple weeks ago i was one of two black people at this wedding so naturally when the electric slide started and. everybody crowded behind the two of us. to leave the dance. and i was like we should've just made up moves to these people. because they don't know. how they were. and give the nearest black person reparations. was what. you don't know this. because it's always after the pivots are heard. and we accept that.
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so i use microsoft word a lot you guys have been using microsoft word like that red squiggly line comes up underneath stuff heads correct yeah why don't we have that for people yet why is that. why can't it be like going to date that's like going south and all of a sudden the dude is just in this red line. and then when i press on ed a dialog box comes up like this man thinks the transition between both and big names on the fresh prince of bel-air was seamless. ignore all. that was all gone well don i like the idea of using that. technique for people that maybe have like weird political views like oh you kind of understand steve battens perspective on things read. quickly allied if you are all you know we're not when threats go live there are
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a lot of people just like around mitch mcconnell around here. or our relatives that say i should be married so i like the way to her. earlier life if you want graham really for a life yeah that i know it well let's get now to actually someone you have not seen on air here every day acted in night he is our superstar producer buddy is also an accomplished stand up comic so here's a few minutes of yoga down off i have clinical depression or as i like to call it medical grade said this. i got that good you know. here's the problem having depression in twenty eighteen isn't special and. it's now a competition people like i'm so sad trump is doing all this terrible and worried you know second round of naziism and all that fun stuff people are like yet so we
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you're not special. and that's why don't you suicide hotlines they just don't care anymore and. i am here's the thing with clinical depression i can't be murdered. i'm not yet another you can kill me it's just assisted suicide. big fan of pot anyone else. i don't know if you guys are allowed to admit that. florida. i don't know what that means i'm from d.c. . oh yeah good. i mean i'm jealous but good. but here's the thing with the thing i love most about pot or the d.c. pot laws they're my favorite like i i hope they don't change. because they're funny
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the way they are. here's the deal with pot in d.c. it is totally illegal for you to buy or sell marijuana without a medical license it is however totally cool for you to just have it. on i'm. like if it just shows up on your doorstep. like a baby at a church like you can i'm sure you just take it in racing as your own yeah here's the thing you can carry up to two ounces which is a lot like i don't yet like i don't know if you've seen one ounce of weed but that is too much to leave the house with. and in d.c. you're allowed to just walk around with like a neck pillow if we just one hundred side. what that means folks is it is illegal it is not cool for me to go up to my dealer and be like hey man i'll give you twenty bucks for some weed it is however totally cool
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for me to go up to my friend. be like hey man that you twenty bucks you won't give me some weed i. have a drug problem i have a gambling addiction they lose every time. right where we have to go to a quick break but as always you can text the word redacted to four four four nine nine nine it'll get you out free content it'll get you signed up to our newsletter which as we mentioned we're getting knocked off a lot of platforms so that is the way to not get knocked off and that's free in the united states or i will be back with more of the ground.
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zero you will be in the lot is your last used us. she doesn't go into the business of calling this one up what i mean. i mean if there was one other. thing. you know the local superman family can see that's enough to buy you. if you're in the form of the media. only a few more. their favorite movies in the mumbles most and even many possibilities but while most will start to feel good.
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i've been saying the numbers mean something the matter the u.s. has over one trillion dollars in debt more than ten thousand dollars fine tempi each day. eighty five percent of global will be loans to the old rich eight point six percent market for thirty percent just last year some with four hundred to five hundred three per second per second and one rose to twenty thousand dollars. china's building two point one billion dollars industrial park but don't let the numbers overwhelm. the only number you need to remember it was one of those you know bored to miss the one and only.
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welcome back to our special redacted tonight stand up comedy special i said special too many times in that sense but it is very special but it was filmed filmed down in miami this time we've done los angeles we did new york this one was in miami next clip from from you know we had to like the show down there the city the miami and the miami fans were just wonderful they came up to me after the show and they were like how did we do and how much i like i think it was my performance that mattered and they gave a standing ovations before we said anything i'm like just like i don't deserve this it is me a complex are you can you tell me what it is it is awesome to be the redacted fans like around the country cities you wouldn't think we'd have fans in and i had to go there and torah and meet them as you guys have done some of you know. the pocket of south miami we're back to activists are awesome people and they were just
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so happy they were there is a great experience also i was just going. i got to wear shorts for three days i'll make a. dollar for out except the three of you and you know who you are but i don't know who you are you are you always get through this clip is from the amazing naomi. i'm dating and it's tough man because i consider myself an intellectual you know i read a lot of high school papers. but when i'm dating you know not a lot of intellectuals to choose from but not a problem i'm comedian i appreciate funny people you know so i can enjoy the company of a man who's struggling with self checkout that's i'm moment we can share together i can just watch on the side saying hey don't worry honey the machine says help is on the way. to where i was with that guy for about three
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months successful relationship because that's how long it took him to build my dresser and i think about him sometimes when i try and open a drawer i do. i do. i feel so bad for dumb people lately they've had it real bad since the election everybody is blaming them for the country's woes not fair just because you're dumb doesn't mean your race is there out here they have to distinguish themselves from the other people. to be like look look i just can't open the gas valve on my cart i'm not white supremacist. these poor guys they have to make it clear they have to say look i'm not far right because i don't know which direction that is i'm and it's such a shame because like racists are so down you never hear them say something knowledgeable about the people that they hate they could do better you know it's
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just a shame i mean i don't want to stereotype here but. i just assume that races are mixing up there their and theirs and they're arabs and indians i'm just assuming you know because like nobody's going to college and saying look i'm going to major in so these days in studies because i don't like them you know. so my father doesn't actually like that i do stand up comedy yeah he which is strange because my brother went to prison for selling drugs. i'm like what are you comparing me to he is just like well at least he was making money was you're going to bars you buy the drinks to. make fun of me. why you're writing all of this down. i'm like this is what immigrant parents are for back you go and. me and my brother did go to jail for selling drugs it came as a huge shock to the family because we just thought he was making tons of money as
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a d.j. . in west virginia. i did get really good feedback when i was giving them something thank you he said. i can tell that you just don't want to do this and was. i was like oh my god he really gets me. this is forever but i didn't get really lucky this year i met a man who likes the lady to be dominant and ben have you heard of these mythical creatures because they're out there ladies was like ok i guess this is my real bar mitzvah let's go. and i couldn't wait to get into bed it and i couldn't wait to tell him. ok can you explain to me how to do this because i just have no idea and he's like you just tell me what to do.
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i start shadow boxing. doing squats some like right give me an example all. and he's like i don't know tell me to get on my knees so much. is that a part of this i don't even know. and he's like now show me that over. and he's like could you be more stern. i'm like now it just sounds like you're telling me what to do. yeah those those rules in the bedroom you know that that you know that's a redacted topic we have not covered enough on the show dominate tricks aspects in the better that is a hierarchy i never wish it was like a book of like pre written lines like because you were like i'm not sure i'm not sure what they say they're you know they're here now you have some type of prep but i mean you know. when you get out the script really ruins the mood here. oh boy you know i don't know if my feet go like that your life and go like that i don't know you need to see great times and then right. yeah you need to just be
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like wine and then the third person as and the room reading i would say oh. boy we were definitely. we did that all right we go no we go did i things me i think it's own oh i'm not even writing ok let's just see a little of my sat down at the redacted tonight standup comedy special in miami florida something i've performed in florida like for him for years it's this is exciting like you guys would do an election fraud before it was cool like. great to be here. you know i heard where it started and i wanted to go like i'm not going to experience you know. you guys have been doing it for eighty. five and it keeps going you know it changes using it like this is listen when you find you know i like guys who stayed dressed the same as when they were cool
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whatever year they were cool you know it just remains for the rest of their lives that's you guys looks and broad who. says keep bennett you know let's just treat it like cargo shorts we'll. keep doing it. oh it is exciting they're actually talking about like some fraud in the in the news today as you see there to actually north carolina talking about. fake absentee ballots and all the good will find like that's what they do the mainstream media will talk about it when it's one guy so one headed who was like. and he just wrote down all the things and they're like yeah he's the mother of corrupted deal action so that was the guy. all the rest working fine work and fine yeah debbie wasserman schultz won by ninety nine percent is a radical incredible she's really just so beloved here so
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loved here it's amazing it's good to see you guys really support someone as strongly as you do her no matter what she goes through no matter how she is you know like that's our lady sticking by or at least when you get into the book voting both you know debbie wassermann schultz got a big hit. and if you want to thinking that the touchscreen will tell you that. it's like you so i got to beat everyone to insults all right. i'm glad we got these seats so close you get in your face i know how to enjoy that spot but you know go pay extra for the one that's. it's the twenty dollars bucks really do. look i know it's hot in here but i'm going to sweat for you guys for a few more minutes was was. if you can take it i could take it. just view it is like
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a hot yoga comedy right now if you need to put your feet behind your head go ahead oh. boy. speaking of our bombing overseas blowing up people in yemen there was a new this is a federal report this is our own government did a report recently and found out that terrorism has increased five fold since nine eleven since our war on terror started so you tell that to the average person you say you know the terrorism has increased five fold since our war on terror started and the person we go i got an idea let's stop the war on terror it sounds like you do awful things. but you see that person doesn't understand how our wars work alright or we have
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a war we have hordes on lots of things that just make them worse and that's what they're supposed to do you know war on terror creates terrorism war on drugs just destroys lives you know war on homelessness it makes homelessness wars war my personal war on people standing still on the left side of the escalator even though that's not walking but. it's had only mild returns really hasn't. it. but you know i'm just trying to make a dent in this society that really yeah really. with the amount of money we spend on all these all our bombing twenty one trillion dollars unaccounted for the pentagon over the past twenty years trillions of dollars and yet when you say hey maybe we could give employee health care someone goes how are you going to pay for that. they go pay for it or they go is to hoard it's to do you have any idea
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to open your entire health care system is too hard you know you never hear whenever our government goes hey we need to invade iraq you never hear someone go. really really tough you don't go all the way over the years you got above a lot of kids you got it all your people are going to close and millions of dollars . people that don't want to be chased. out of work so. thank you thank you here and there you go that is all the time we have i'm sorry but you work in you off and actually john this is your last show was going to show what you know i did here forever deal with everybody i've always been a terrible manager i should have done that. i was sorry but that is our show you can get more ads you tube god com slash redacted tonight if we're on there for a few more seconds you know i'm getting all of our stuff is still on there so go and check it out also my do stand up special that we can't comedy special dot com
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after the war. was still active. in the nineteen seventies great intel had as the chair of its board a man convicted of mass murder and slavery at auschwitz a german company developed. a drug that was promoted as completely safe even during pregnancy and it turned out to have terrible side effects what has happened to my baby is anything. you know she said is just. the many victims i have to this day received no compensation they never apologized for the suffering
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that i did not only want the money i want the revenge. it's all over a new york times reporter who revealed an anti-republican this information campaign in alabama it turns out that the journalist spoke at a secret meeting of the group behind the scheme several months before he broke the story. turkish forces are seen entering a city in northern syria. kurdish out of the territory as agrees to coordinate its actions in syria with no. he says. a police officer takes aim at a journalist trying to film a protest in the french city of newark.
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