and in games red equals betrayal. when so many find themselves worlds apart. just to look for common ground. it was you know provision on my back when i wanted to. ask but i. owe. you're so you know i lost his boss because you know that then you just got an idea which was you know. anybody among my fellow those in person but that's honest i don't mean that has been. so nice as you know but i was you're not. you're not just i mean most of what i'm already but i've spent a lot of the media. i mean with a lot going on with. this thing up and i must say i mean i really feel so i just don't get it i'm getting worse but those were the all those people saw that those people are going to spend on one of these but i was just this by this part of this

i will ask him i want my family fussing about my just but that's already said whiskey and he thought a thing of it but i think with you just implementing. my him away as it was a night to recall him calories. also trained sniper. he did a lot of. weird stuff two thousand and four to two thousand and six of the. back to iraq you know seven for the search. team back. no way. i'd say ninety eight when i try to commit suicide or their thoughts were stream

well you probably my mind. your house. on six to three inches shorter than i am. i would. six foot five i was the biggest one in the room i could reach in the top shelf had a reach of almost nine foot. and then to go where i couldn't. walk couldn't do my martial arts like i was able to do was extremely depressing. you were trying to kill yourself hi-fi did i shot mustonen in right here. i had to go into the air this side experience like i said just brilliant light came around me and this arm laid on my shoulder so there was thing's going to be all right here kids will be ok and. you know and then bam back to my body

and i started her like here. ever since then i quit drinking. the military family respite center that started when the miss kim she saw all this house hasi end sitting empty and was in foreclosure and misc bought it and i'll buy or sell and turn it over to not forgotten outreach to be used for the military families as a place of rest but. i'm sorry you. can't be because. i way that i can move i want to take that. move it over there one there. and that said. i well way back there and this is open for. i served in the

us army and the military intelligence division i think three times total i've been homeless yeah so three times after i got out of the service i've been homeless. the world doesn't exactly offer our military families are surviving families a place of where they can just kind of fall apart and that's ok and if they need to lay out in the yard and cry. they can and i thought they were hell the world doesn't offer it's. so everything about what we're creating here is hopefully a sense of sanctuary. a sense of acceptance that's the goal. a lot of people believe in this area that i was counting. and then

why specifically now have special healing and spiritual energy and. i've been told that the dalai lama has commented on it and this is a special place in the world for that. in. the last year that i was in the military i worked as casualty assistance we saw hundred eighty seven deaths that year. i was very involved with the funerals. i took that job very seriously and honored to be able to do it. yes. there's a casualty assistance and what they do is notify the family they help with all the paperwork getting everything situated. transfer of the body. i shouldn't say it that way. sorry i.

every soldier every every one of them matter so much and and. sometimes you disconnect. yourself from the job and call it call them a body because it's too hard to think of them as. people but. sorry they're not just a body. i remember. every single one of them. i actually kept a notebook. of all of their funerals. i don't show anybody that. but sorry sidetracked. and i'm sorry i don't really feel comfortable talking about what happened in. the city. i have i struggle with nightmares about them and.

it's something that had me on my mind for me. on the news and really really. that i struggle with is definitely associated with that and then. i got out of the military and five i got married to my husband who stayed in the military. he was deployed to iraq in zero seven and he was killed in iraq. and. i was able to hold it together pretty well until his death. and then the ground started up here. and. that's when everything kind of. exploded. so. how did you feel

like. good morning could you talk to them for a while. sure sure thank you i like the best. that. you see not all wounds are of usual. he. came back from iraq. i was like i couldn't really. going inside to stores and. as i did get a call. i'd have to leave and. go whole. just through the whole. eighteen year i'm really want to do anything that would be near and work on my car. and. all you see do is was drink. drink and dream all the. and then little by little i just

said to myself well all i want to be drinking and drinking enough i want to end up just killing myself by drinking. saul. i just said fauji i'm not going to want to stop drinking and all that. when that's when i kind of like sara taking taekwondo or. and staying. here but it's going. on here it. doesn't save in this one i got my hundred percent. hundred percent disability here and what is it related like this hundred percent is a pianist. on the side he. said panic attacks.

and sometimes i on a first came i used to always get up they couldn't sleep and i always get all printed be walking around looking out the window all my wife would tell me i'm already doing a good can't sleep on her commute looking out the windows at women just looking all to see. one one night and i got up and i woke her up and i told her he get up get up at school it's cool julie are you ok in all its goals you like or you going to to go. school we got to go to the bunkers are not like. you tell me the next morning all that clay all i go for on august third of. one percent and i are going to rolled out of that on to the forums. is that what do

you do in. fact my wife woke me up last night. telling everybody to get down there were a good name to have you go to the. red sea did you did. you. say do you have play back oh they'll play all i have. had it with who would not say it. just. yet in.

munster golds. that it. was my color is a third of the chevy. camaro it looks like a spaceship. and it's amazing. and this is all through ninety six in june with this is a called a condo ram and it has two carburetors. this is from a tank or something you know. why are you doing it while you're working on cars. work you know carson's all that thirteen years old. these are the cue in practice for you and yes because my mind is always on molly's one to work on my cars it's not like when i came back from iraq i was like i didn't have no interest in them or nothing new but little by

little i started getting better at it you know back again into it and saying you know i gotta keep up my he calls what is it for you or did you hear in the store the pros legacy say like pry eat or something like that or golf or write on there people always go can. he like the way loads and they're always saying cool cool is a nice color can i take a picture of it. and they're just like makes you feel like cool like you did something like you do something and people appreciate it. if your health care executive or bank your costly getting a gift from a fellow governor of millions hundreds of millions trillions of dollars if you're not part of that cobol you are the one paying for it yes and that's why there's

a lot of social unrest that's the yellow vest movement in france and around the world it's the global insurrection against banker occupation is coming to america twenty nineteen so get your yellow vests and your torch and let's party on to you because it's all about the revolution. what politicians do you should. be put themselves on the line to get accepted or rejected. so when you want to be president and you. want to be rich. to go on to be pros this is what before three in the morning can't be good. i'm interested always in the waters of my house. or sitting. a foot there someone else living inside of me or controlling my body.

the byproduct of the drug that is the cause like some fear depression. because they literally need him into a zombie it's crazy. you know we don't have to do anything it's not our fault you know she's crazy and all that. the fears of traumatic things long time to get rid of. i've been saying the numbers mean something they matter to us is over twenty trillion dollars and. more than ten point zero or more in tempe each dish. eighty. five percent of global wealth if you want to the ultra rich eight point six percent market saw a thirty percent rise last year some with four hundred to five hundred three per second per second and bitcoin rose to twenty thousand dollars. china is building

a two point one billion dollar a i industrial park but don't let the numbers overwhelm. the only number you need to remember is one one business show you can't afford to miss the one and only boom box. choice. this is my favorite part about a fun project he's actually doing. what they feel when you plan something half a day. so i go thought to where. i could texts. then so that it's just like don't think for two minutes. say. that.

i mean any plan. to ground yourself. a lot of us. feel that that we were. misled misguided. you know. we join. you know to serve our community. in this is like a real way. to give people a sense of purpose and to be grounded. well for me i feel like it's who. cleansing karma you know that i. and now. focusing my energies into. building communities and helping other

beings. instead of destroying them. taking their freedom away. now forgotten outreach tries to be sustainable in all aspects of our operation we use solar energy. our septic systems for grey water so there were water in the fields and everything we use well water here on the property. recycle avery thing. the last the first time i've seen the inside. of. school it does look. like. i would just cool three years ago thanks to some funding from from nothing got out

reach with the denver and took about a four day course on autopilot and i came back and installed a system in my greenhouse this or that i have but it's basically a pilot project or not forgot it's a training tool itself to get people interested if they're interested in and then and it's also used will use it to try to get funding if we can find people that are interested and want to back up a larger project to get the job better and we could also teach other veterans this displace is it my house but it's open to any of the veterans that want to come here take a look help out learn whatever they want to do. very sweet. you know if there is a spiritual component to all this it's not religious it's it's trying to get these guys to. veterans to to figure out who

they are you know. most of us go to war when we were very young and a lot of us had problems before we ever went to war. by the time i was thirty one years old or thirty four years old and i made it up like a lot of that going to amy. what is it going to it's anonymous. my job. to help is the city hall links. to get drunk alcoholics drink to feel normal. that's why alcoholics that's way drug addicts do

what they do. you're actually encouraged when you're in the interior of cars to drink when the military. well they create not commissioned officers clubs in the airman's clubs and officers clubs and it's a social lubricant kind of people. especially if there were income but there is they get out there and they become alcoholics well yeah. so you understand what self medicating is. so self medicating you may not call out. her was and cocaine methamphetamine see anything that's altering trying to get us out of. that bad mindset using the chemical. that would be self medicating and that's what many veterans do and. now i think that if you asked. over eighty percent self medicated or get no

service over eighty percent of veterans a self medicated. one where you are in one way or the other. you know clean. up. i'll call. for. this is my second month. did you go out but my whole life was either a heroin or i'll call. and that was it. and then you know and then once you get off marilyn then it becomes job. and then. is. just as bad. anymore as it is it's far more easily available anywhere any way in the other in the grocery story who you know. the new kid gas station that's not my reading get it anywhere drive in pakistan or in

the world but you know when you come to places like this where you have people that were in the military i'll still to call them records because i'm just and you better well and can't say that they understand you better if you're worried i mean the you can tell your story and you can say you tell your story can't tell you story like this in church or in the plaza or anyplace else. by the way why no one would be seen to you know the some out of like your church is for religion. this is a whole different story. drug addiction alcohol addiction is a whole different story. you know you got it everyone. you know you got to as they say you have to put your own recovery sit around and feel

sorry for yourself. no one is going to you know so even if you're going to be a interview and like get all the pupils and then complain well you know they have they have to swim i don't know how good it is you know that that's that's a dicey game as far as i'm concerned because you never know how good the counselor is and you know what the counselors experience either counselors psychiatry sutil the lot a lot of drugs by telling them that they don't need to be in. to tell you that you need to stop your. counselor because beauty's do you have gas or has be d.s.d. which he probably does and most most people who are in the healing professions are in there to cure their own own diseases to start with. i'm going to. be chasing their own demons. but that's just something you learned over

the years. you going to. j.v. meet reason we. have more you know if you don't go to. see him he's not all nervous and jittery like. he's not a yeah he did start well i have a service. but yeah you also like if i ma and i want him having nightmares yeah he'll stop me that was i only. know he's so much esther it's just like in my face. well so you see you p.t.s.d. he's a p.t.s.d. service dog what does it mean well what it means is. instead of taking fourteen pills three times a day i have them to relax me and comfort me. and soothe me when i mean irritated and that of being comatose with.

its job the animals don't say it's really. been a good thing. they had some people say you know you should look for a different job you don't get paid enough there. but the more i work there the more i realize it's not the money you know these these dogs they are beings like us but. someone wants to take care of it. should. anything let's go this way since i'm. not a legal. issue. really when you're wrong we remember. it's definitely more therapeutic then like meeting that some nurse

practitioner that wants to like hot six medications at you after ten minutes of knowing. her what's going. on. the longer one in search of her you say learn to be patient you also share your love. they need the. wall. they need something they are there and so is your way out of all their very own path that you know they uniquely need to be with other dogs or with people they need just like people who need. to interact with other. would you be.

going to want to. get. there for your height or lost his boss because. we don't have any of those in person but the pressure on us. showing us is you know part of us you're not. you know just i mean what i'm already what it was but. i mean. if it up as well i must admit that really feels i just don't get off on getting noticed but those were the o's. those people are going to respect i'm one of those but i was just this well is one of these i'm with. my family posse credible but you just got that already yes equestrian in the thought of getting up there calling. me just got to go to the.

u.s. secretary of state mike pompei all tells us america is a force for good in the middle east well that's pretty amazing and online censoring continues apace also for the democrats the party of war now. as a spy you'll have to really split your own personality into to use them as the committed jihad just wants to live within me and then there is some who wanted to counter everything they want to do and then trying to dismantle everything they were doing so you have to. really become a good doctor in order to. you have to follow your own family in order to fall the .

u.s. media coverage of an alleged trump russia collusion provokes the ira the american president that's off to one outlets even published a complete guide to his impeachment. full people are killed and ninety three in jets after a huge explosion rocks the afghan capital never a recovery center for a foreign land.