my him oh as it was in one thousand go to recon carries. also trained sniper. we did a lot of. weird stuff two thousand and four to two thousand and six and then we're back to iraq you know seven for the search in a plane back. you know a. one thousand nine hundred eighty s. when i try to commit suicide or their thoughts were stream lee prevalent my mind. here how tall. i'm six to three inches shorter than i am.

i was six foot five i was the biggest one in the room i could reach in a top shelf had reached almost nine foot. and then to go where i couldn't. walk couldn't do my martial arts like i was able to do was extremely depressing. you were trying to kill yourself hi-fi did i shot myself in the neck right here. i had to go into the er the society experience like i said just brilliant light came around me and this arm laid on my shoulder so there was a things going be all right your kids will be ok and. you know and then bam out of the same back to my body and i started hurting like here. ever since then i quit drinking. the military family respite center that

started with miss kim she saw this house. sitting empty and was in foreclosure and misc bought it and i'll buy or sell and turn it over to not forgotten outreach to be used for the military families as a place of respite. i'm sorry your. baby girl. i want that i can move i want to take that. move it over there one there. and that's it. i will always back there and this is open for. i served in the u.s. army and the military intelligence division i think three times total i've been homeless

yeah so three times after i got out of the service i've been homeless. here's. the world doesn't exactly offer our military families are surviving families a place of where they can just kind of fall apart and that's our plan and if they need to lay out in the yard and cry. they can't and i thought. of the world doesn't offer it's here so everything about oh well we're creating here is hopefully a sense of sanctuary. a sense of acceptance that's the goal. for. a lot of people believe that this area house county. and then like the mountain specifically need to have special healing and spiritual energy. i've been told that the dalai lama has commented on it but this is like

a special place in the world for that. and. the last year that i was in the military i worked as casualty assistance we saw hundred eighty seven deaths that year so. i was very involved with the funerals. i took that job very seriously and honored to be able to do it in iraq. yes in iraq. there's a casualty assistance and what they do is notify the family they help with all the paperwork getting everything situated. transfer of the body. i shouldn't say it that way. sorry i. every soldier every every one of them matter sold watch and and.

sometimes you disconnect yourself from the job and call it call them her body because it's too hard to think of them as. people but. sorry they're not just a body. absolutely. i remember . every single one of them. i actually kept a notebook. of all of their funerals. i don't show anybody that. but sorry. and i'm sorry i don't really feel comfortable talking about what do. i have i struggle with nightmares about them and. it's something that. my mind hard for me. and i'm going to

need it really really really then he said i struggle with is definitely associated with that and then. i got out of the military and. i got married to my husband who stayed in the military. he was deployed to iraq in seven. and he was killed. and. i was able to hold it together pretty well until his death. and then started up here. and. that's when everything kind of. exploded. so. how did you feel like. good morning could you talk to them for a while. sure sure thank you i like you best. you

see not all wounds are visual you know i didn't he. when i came back from iraq. i was like i couldn't really. going inside to stores and all that. doesn't it get a call. career field again and i do have to leave and. go whole just the whole. really want to do anything that would even work on my car. and. all i used to do this was drink. the. needlepoint needle i just said to myself well i want to be drinking and drinking. just kill. myself by drinking.

saul. i just said fauji i'm not going to when to stop drinking and all that. when that's when i kind of like sarah taking take one dollar. and still. be sure it's going. on here it. doesn't save in this one i've got my hundred percent. hundred percent disability. and what is it related like this hundred percent is a pianist. and saeed he. says panic attacks. and sometimes i on

a first came i used to always get up they couldn't sleep and i always get all printed be walking around looking out the window all my wife would tell me what are you doing the girl can't sleep on her commute looking out the windows at women snooki and all to see. one one night. i got up and i will curl up and i told her he'd get up get up at school at school surely you ok in the normal school if you like or you're going to go to school we got to go to the bunkers or not i was like. you know like you tell me the next more e-mails like boy i go or i don't log in the. one percent are going to rolled out of that on the forums. is that what he's doing. dragged my wife woke me up last night.

telling everybody get down or a good name ever get under the. bed she did you did it. she said you have play back no there was no plan oh i have. had it with the enough sleep. yet it is. the monster told. that it. was in my car is

a third of the chevy. camaro it looks like a spaceship. and it's amazing. this is all through ninety six in june this is a called a con no ram and it has to carburetors. it is from a tank or something you know. why are you doing it while you're working on cars we're working on a carson's i'll let thirteen years old. is it human brick this for you and yes because my mind is always the most he's one to work on my cars it's not like over and i came back from iraq i was like i didn't have no interest in them or the media but little by little i started getting better at it you know back again into it and saying no no i gotta keep up. my coals and what does

a pretty or we're doing here in the short report of this city that. we're going to go for right on here people always look at is. really like to where you live and you're always cool cool is a nice color can they take a picture over. there just like makes you feel like cool like you did something make you do something and people appreciated. your health care executive or bank your cost like getting a gift from a fellow governor of millions hundreds and millions trillions of dollars if you're not part of that cobol you are the one paying for it yes and that's why there's a lot of social unrest that's the yellow vest movement in france and around the world it's the global insurrection against banker occupation is coming so merican twenty nineteen so i get your yellow vests and your torch and let's party i wanted it because it's all about the revolution.

what politicians do. they put themselves on the line to get accepted or rejected. so when you want to be president. more so more want to be. what you want to be the press was like that before three in the morning can't be good. i'm interested always in the waters of our. first city. i've been saying the numbers mean something they matter the u.s. is over twenty trillion dollars in debt more than ten point zero or prime stamping each dish. eighty five percent of global wealth you longs to the ultra rich eight point six percent market saw thirty percent i just want to secure some with four hundred to five hundred three per second per second and bitcoin rose to twenty thousand dollars. china is building. two point one billion dollar ai industrial

park but don't let the numbers overwhelm. the only number you need to remember is one one business show you can afford to miss the one and only boom bust. this is my favorite part about why project he's actually doing it and what they feel when you plan something else but they're. both off to where i could text. them so that it's like don't think of to me. like that.

helps to ground yourself. a lot of us. feel that we were. misled misguided. even though. we join. you know to serve our community. in this is like a real way to. give people a sense of purpose and to be grounded. well for me i feel like it's a way of cleansing the karma you know that i. and now. focusing my energies into. building communities and helping other

beings. instead of destroying them. taking their freedom away. now reach tries to be sustainable in all aspects of our operation we use solar energy. our septic systems for grey water so there were water in the fields and everything we use well water here on the property. recycle avery thing. there as the first time i've seen the inside. it does look. like.

i would just cool two years ago thanks to some funding from from nothing got out reach with the denver and took about a four day course on autopilot and i came back and installed a system in my greenhouse this is that i ouse but it's basically a pilot project or not forgot it's a training tool it's something to get people interested if they're interested in and then it's also used will use it to try to get funding if we can find people that are interested and want to back up a larger project to get the job better and we can also teach other veterans this place is it my house but it's open to any of the veterans that want to come here take a look help out learn whatever they want to do. very sweet. you know it is a spiritual component to all this it's not religious it's it's trying to get

these guys to. the veterans to to figure out who they are you know most of us go to war when we were very young and a lot of us had problems before we ever went to war. by the time i was thirty one years old thirty four years old i ended up with a lot of that's going a week. what is it going to alcoholics anonymous with white if you drink that much of the time it has mississippi alcoholics don't drink to get drunk alcoholics drink to feel normal. that's why alcoholics that's way drug addicts do

what they do. you actually encourage history when you're in the security guards to drink when you know they're in. how well they create noncommissioned officers clubs in airlines clubs and officers clubs and it's it's a social lubricant and in people especially there were income but there is they get out there they become a couple weeks well yeah. so you understand what self medicating is. so self medicating you may not co out of marijuana heroin was in cocaine methamphetamine see anything that's altering trying to get us out of that bad mindset using the chemical that would be self medicating and that's what many veterans do and. now i think that if you asked. over eighty percent

self medicated or get no service over eighty percent of veterans a self medicated. one where you are in one way or the other. no clean. up. i'll call. for. this is my second month. but my whole life was either a heroin or i'll call. that was it. and then you know and then once you get off marilyn then it becomes off. and then. is. just as bad. anymore as it is it's far more easily available anywhere anyway in the other in the grocery story line you know. the new kid gas station it's not that i rarely get anywhere driving in pakistan or in

the rules but you know when you come to places like this where you have people that were in the military i'll still to call them because they can just and you better well and can say that they understand you better if your worries i mean the you can tell your story and you can you tell. he can tell your story like this in church or in the plaza or any place else. like why no one would listen to you you know the some out here like your church is spurring religion. this is a whole different story. drug addiction alcohol addiction is a whole different story. you know you got it everyone. you

know you got to as they say you have to put your own recovery if you sit around and feel sorry for yourself. no one is going to help you know so even if you're going to be a interview again like get all the complaining well you know they have they have to swim i don't know how good it is you know that that's that's a dicey game as far as i'm concerned you never know how good the counselor is and you know what the counselors experienced either counselors psychiatry sutil the lot a lot of drunks by telling them that they don't need to. do this and that but this is the council's got a drinking problem of course is not going. to tell you that you need to stop yours . when i sit down to work because beauty is the usual gasser has be d.s.d. which he probably does and most most people who are in the healing professions are in there to clear their own own diseases to start with. we're going to get

healthier. you're chasing their own demons. but that's just hoping you learned over the years. all you going to. j.v. eat meat reason we. have more you don't go to get it right. see it is not all nervous and jittery like there was. not a year for a good start you know. i have a service cat more. but yeah you also like if i ma and i want him having nightmares they're not mean that i want to eat all that isn't so much of a stretch just look at my face. oh so kids use it use your p.t.s.d. he's a p.t.s.d. service dog guess what does it mean well what it means is instead of taking fourteen pills three times a day i have him to relax me and comfort me. and soothe me when i mean irritated

and that of being comatose with. it's job the animal shelter to say it's really. been a good thing he. had some people say you know you should look for a different job you don't get paid enough there. but the more i work there the more i realize it's not the money you know these dogs they are beings like us and. someone else to take care. of. anything else let's go this way since i'm. not legal if it

is too. early when you're. really a mother. it's definitely more therapeutic then like meeting that some nurse practitioner that wants to be like hawks six medications at you after ten minutes of knowing. her i mean let's go. see. the other one. choke her to say learn to be patient you also share your love. they need. they need something there is a social animal their very own path that you know they do not really need to be with other dogs or with people they need just like people need. to interact with other. intelligent beings.

join me every thursday on the alex simon show and i'll be speaking to guest of the world of politics sports business i'm showbusiness i'll see that. reflect there's someone else living inside of me or controlling my body. the byproduct of that drug is the cause like severe depression. because it literally made him into a zombie it's crazy. you know we don't have to do anything it's not our fault you know shoes crazy and all that. took

years to come there to takes a long time to get rid of. you know world of big partners through a lot and conspiracy it's time to wake up to dig deeper to hit the stories that mainstream media refuses to tell more than ever we need to be smarter we need. to stop slamming the door. and shouting past each other it's time for critical thinking it's time to fight for the middle for the truth the time is now for watching closely watching the hawks. seem wrong but. just don't call. me. yet to stamp out disdain because after all and in games from. the trail.

when so many find themselves worlds apart. just to look for common ground. zero officer. told them to get up off the ground sir begin to pay him down to. hurt them freeze on the sounds of an mit grown man mislead essentially. through his or john. twisted away from the officer of the joy out of his group. the obviously did they kind of lunge for the web in one smiths and then when it happened on trace one as observations didn't hit him i never saw any contact with. any kind went back to where they were so the officers back here there try again fifteen feet apart at this point and that's when the officer pulled out his gun and

even turned three. it was you know provision on my back when i wanted to. ask but i. get. your for your height oh i lost his boss because. we saw his you know. anybody on a month all of those in person but the best honest i don't mean that has been. so nice as you know but i was you know. you know just i mean what it i'm already but it was sped up out of me just a lot of the media and. i mean it was. given up and i must admit that he was i just don't get it i'm getting letters but those were the oaths they just needed to silence those people are going to respond on one of these but i was just this by this part of this i'm going to get my will my family fussy you could have got a bomb i just bought that already yes it will be and he thought a thing of it but i think with you you seem to mean ticket my thought aloud but to

me just got to go he. was. this i was told headline it's a big day for brooks it was the u.k. parliament votes on whether to back to resume a z e u people steal. donald trump's russian interpreters could be subpoenaed to testify before congress as democrats

suggest the.