him zero as it was in one thousand go to recon calvary scout also trained sniper. we did a lot of. weird stuff two thousand and four to two thousand and six and then we're back to iraq you know seven for the surge in a game back. you know a. nineteen ninety eight when i try to commit suicide or their thoughts were stream lee prevalent my mind. here how tall. i am and six to three inches shorter than i am. i was six foot five i was the biggest one in the room i could reach in the top shelf i had reached

almost nine foot. and then to go where i couldn't. walk couldn't do my martial arts like i was able to do was extremely depressing. you were trying to kill yourself hi-fi did i shot myself in the nick right here. i had to go into the air the side experience like i said just brilliant light came around me and this arm laid on my shoulder so there was things going to go right here kids will be ok and. you know and then bam out of the same back to my body and i started her like here. ever since then i quit drinking. the military family respite center that started when the miss cam she saw this house hasi and said he knew. empty and it

was in foreclosure and misc bought it and i'll buy or sell and turn it over to not forgotten outreach to be used for the military families as a place of respite. and way that i can move i want to take that. that over there one there. and that's it. they were all the way back there and this is open for. i served in the u.s. army and the military intelligence division i think three times total i've been homeless yeah so three times after i got out of the service i've been homeless. the world doesn't exactly offer our military families are surviving families

a place of where they can just kind of fall apart and that's ok and if they need to lay out in the yard and cry. they can and i thought were held the world doesn't offer it's but i can see how everything about of what we're creating here is hopefully a sense of sanctuary. a sense of acceptance that's the goal. of. a lot of people believe that this area house county. and then like me specifically now have put special healing and spiritual energy. they've been told that the dalai lama has commented on it but this is like a special place in the world for that. i mean. the last

year that i was in the military i worked as casualty assistance we saw one hundred eighty seven deaths that year so. i was very involved with the funerals. i took that job very seriously and i honored to be able to do it. yes in iraq. and i go to. a casualty assistance center what they do is notify the family they help. with all the paperwork getting everything situated. transfer of the body. i shouldn't say it that way. sorry i. every soldier every every one of them matter sold and and. sometimes you disconnect yourself from the job and call it call them her body

because it's too hard to think of them as. people but. sorry they're not just a body. absolutely yeah. i remember . every single one of them. i actually kept a notebook. of all of their funerals. i don't show anybody that. but sorry sidetracked. and i'm sorry i don't really feel comfortable talking about what happened to them specifically. i have i struggle with nightmares about them and. it's something that is heavy on my mind and hard for me to hear. on the news and really really. that i struggle with it is definitely associated

with that and then one i got out of the military and five i got married to my husband who stayed in the military. he was deployed to iraq and seven and he was killed in iraq. and. i was able to hold it together pretty well until his death. and then the ground started to appear. and. that's when everything kind of. exploded. so. how did it feel but found like. everyone or you could you talk to them for a while yes you're. sure sure thank you i like you that's. what. you see not all ones are visual you know what i mean

he. when i came back from iraq. i was like i couldn't really. going inside to stores and all that. doesn't it get a call. on the career field even right after you leave and. go whole just the whole. eighteen year really want to do anything that would be near and work on my car. and. all i used to do this was drink. drink. all the. needlepoint needle i just said to myself well i want to be drinking and drinking enough i want to end up just killing myself by drinking. salt. i just said for. when to stop drinking and all that. when that's when i kind of like sure taking

taekwondo or. and standing. here it is you. know here. thousand savings when i got my hundred percent. hundred percent disability. and what is it related like this hundred percent is a pianist. and saeed he. said panic attack. and some things i on a first came a stew always get up they couldn't sleep and i always get all penelope walking around looking out the window old my wife would tell me i'm already doing

a good i can't sneak her commute looking out the windows at women snooki well to see. one one night. i got up and i will curl up and i told her he'd get up get up at school at school surely he will k. in the normal school she like or you going to go to school we better go to the bunkers or not like. you tell me the next morning e-mails likely go wrong on august. twenty first and they're going to rolled out of that on the forums. is that what he'd do in. fact my wife woke me up last night. telling everybody get down there were a good name ever yesterday or just. read through to see if you

did. see it here half way back my whole dale was well i have. had it with the enough to say it. just. it is a long way yet it is. the monster told. that it. was my car is the author of the chevy. camaro it looks like a spaceship. and it's amazing. and this is all

a three ninety six engine but this is a called the congo ram and it has two corporators. it is from a tank or something you know. why are you doing it while you're working on cars that were you know carson's only thirteen years old. these are the q in practice for you at the yes because my mind is always some of these one to work on my cars it's not like when i came back from iraq it was like i didn't have no interest in them or nothing new but little by little i started getting better at it you know back again into it and saying no i gotta keep up my he calls what he's a prayer or doing here in the store with part of the legacy say like pride or something like that or golf or write on there people always go cat is. he like the

way loads and they're always saying cool cool is a nice color can they take a picture ovid and they're just like makes you feel like cool like you did something like you do something and people appreciate it. you know world take part of the lot and conspiracy it's time. to wake up to be deeper to hit the stories that mainstream media refuses to tell more than ever we need to be smart we need to stop slamming the door. and shouting past each other it's time for critical thinking it's time to fight for the middle for truth the time is now we're watching closely watching the hawks.

manufacture consent to public wealth. when the ruling classes protect themselves. with the crime and go round. the room see. the real need. to get up off the ground began to. hurt them freeze on the sounds of an mit grown man mislead essentially. through his return. to push to do away from the officer. of his group. they obviously did

a kind of lunge for the web in one smith's and then when it happened on trace one. i never saw any contact with. any kind of back to where they were so the answers back here they're try again fifteen feet apart at this point and that's when the officer pulled out his gun and even turned three. it was you know provision on my back when i would've been. asked but i. get oh. you're so your height oh i lost his boss because i just got done you just got to go which was you know. anybody among my fellow those in person but the pressure on us i don't think there's been a. joining us as you know but i was you know. you know just i mean my most wanted i'm already but it was sped up out of me just a lot of the media mean i mean it was a lot. different up as well i must say i mean i really feel that you will get off

on getting worse but those were the ost they just needed to sound those people are going to respond on one of these but i would just this where this part of this i'm going to come up on my body with us if you could a car bomb i just got that already yes a question he thought of getting out there calling with you and you seem to mean to carry out my thought aloud problem you just got to go. you want to make sure that the quality is not just a slogan misery but it also is associated with the rise of the start of the believe how can you have a rise in the stuff. by having people reach a savings investing. broadening increasing the size of the national high so that we can to stephen pull everything.

this is my favorite part about one project he's actually. would they feel when you plant something. soft where. screw texting. that's what i say it's like don't think of to me. like that. kind of helps to ground yourself. a lot of us. feel that that we were. misled misguided. even though. we join. you know to serve

our community. in this is like a real way. to give people a sense of purpose and to be grounded. well for me i feel like it's a way of cleansing the karma you know that i. and now. focusing my energies into. building communities and helping other beings. instead of destroying them. taking their freedom away. now reach tries to be sustainable in all aspects of our all we use solar energy. our septic systems for grey water so there were

water in the fields and everything we use well water here on the property. recycle avery things. last the first time i've seen the inside. it does look. like. i would just go through years ago thanks to some funding from from nothing got out reach with the denver and took a lot of for a course on autopilot and i came back and installed a system in my greenhouse this is it i have but it's basically a pilot project or not forgot it's a training tool itself to get people interested if they're interested in and then and it's also used will use it to try to get funding if we can find people that are

interested and want to back up a larger project to get the job of it or and we can also teach other veterans this place is it my house but it's open to any of the veterans that want to come here take a look help out learn whatever they want to do. very sweet. you know it is a spiritual component to all this it's not religious it's it's trying to get these guys to. veterans to figure out who they are you know most of us go to war when we're very young and a lot of us had problems before we ever went to war.

by the time i was thirty one years old thirty four years old i ended up with a lot of that's going a. what is it going to alcoholics anonymous. boy do you drink that much of the time it has mississippi alcoholics don't drink to get drunk alcoholics drink to feel normal. that's why alcoholics that's way drug addicts do what they do. you actually encourage drink when you're in the new cars to drink when you know three. well they create noncommissioned officers clubs in airmen's clubs and officers clubs and it's it's a social lubricant and in people. especially if there were income but there is they get out there and they become a couple weeks well yeah. so you interesting what self medicating is.

so self medicating you mean not go out of marijuana era was cocaine methamphetamines anything that's altering trying to get us out of that bad mindset using a chemical that would be self medicated and that's what made of it there is do and . now i think that if you asked. over eighty percent self medicated or getting out of the service over eighty percent of asians are self medicated kept one where you were in one way or the other. i'm clean of the. i'll call you for. this is my second month. did you not but my whole life. was either a heroin or i'll call. and that was it. and then you know

and then once you get off marilyn then it becomes off. and then i'll call you. just as bad. anymore it's far more easily available anywhere anyway in the other in the grocery story line you know. the new kid gas station it's not my right to get it anywhere near i've been packaged dorie. but you know when you come to places like this where you have people that were in the military i'll still call them records because i'm just and you better well and can't say that they understand you better if you're already coming from the l. you can tell your story and you can say you tell your story can tell your story like this in church or in the plaza or anyplace else. like

why no one would be saying to you you know that's not really like your church is for religion. this is a whole different story. drug addiction alcohol addiction is a whole different story. you know you got to get everyone. you know you got to as they say you have to just make your own recovery you sit around and feel sorry for yourself. no one is going to you know. or even if you go to. interview and like get all the complaining well you know they have they have to swim i don't know how good it is you know that that's that's a dicey game as far as i'm concerned you never know how good the counselor is. and you know what the counselors experienced either counselors psychiatry sutil the lot

a lot of drunks by telling them that they don't need to. do this and that but this is the council's got a drinking problem of course it's not going. to tell you that you need to stop yours. says counsellor because bts do you have gas or has be d.s.d. which he probably does and most most people who are in the healing professions are in there to cure their own own diseases to start with stuff. from the kind of health. you're chasing their own demons. but that's just something you learned over the years. are you going to. j.v. to meet reason we. are going to bore you don't we're not going to get it right. he's not all nervous and jittery like. he's not here

for a good start. i have a service cat. but he also like if i ma and i want him having nightmares. meal times i want to eat all night he said so much i just look in my face. so kids you see. he's a p.t.s.d. service dog guess what does it mean well what it means is instead of taking fourteen pills three times a day i have him to relax me and comfort me. and soothe me when i mean. instead of being comatose with. it's job. really. in a good. had some people say you know you should. look for a different job you don't get paid enough there. but the more i work there

the more i realize it's not the money you know these these dogs they're beings like us but. someone wants to take care. of. you to please let's go this way since a. money maker if it is too. early when you're wrong we remember. it's definitely more therapeutic then like meeting with some nurse practitioner or they want to like hot six medications at you after ten minutes of knowing. her let's go. out. longer one in such a hurry that you say learn to be patient you also share your love.

they need the. wall. they need something there are a social animal they're very young catholics you know they. didn't only need to be with other dogs or with people they need just like people need. to interact with other. intelligence means. what politicians do emotionally to. put themselves on the line to get accepted or rejected. so when you want to be president or injury more so more want to. have to go right. first was like before three of them or can't be good for. i'm

interested always in the waters in the. west. i've been saying the numbers mean something they matter the us has over one trillion dollars in debt more than ten white collar crimes happen each day. eighty five percent of global wealth you want to be ultra rich eight point six percent market saw thirty percent rise last year some with four hundred to five hundred three per second per second and bitcoin rose to twenty thousand dollars. china's building two point one billion dollars a i industrial park but don't let the numbers overwhelm. the only numbers you need to remember one one so you can afford to miss the one and only boom box.

office or. toyota to get up off the ground serve begin to pay him down to. hurt them freeze on the sounds of an mit grown man mislead a century of his or her. through his or john. will wish to do away from the office or leave the joy out of his career. obviously did a kind of lunge for the web in one's midst and then when it happened on trace one as i have suspicions didn't hit him i never saw any contact with you that you any kind of went back to where they were so the answer is back here they're trying again fifteen feet apart at this point and that's when the officer is gonna need to turn three. in twenty four you know bloody revolution is here to clear the demonstrations going from being relatively peaceful political protests to be creasing the violent revolution is always spontaneous or is it

still war here i mean you know i live with video that even the. split needle the former ukrainian president recalls the events of twenty four g. and. those who took. invested over five billion dollars to assist ukraine in these and other goals that will ensure a secure and prosperous and democratic. among the stories that shaped the week the u.k. plunges into political chaos with the prime minister's brags and deal suffering a mammoth defeat but theresa may have position now only surviving

a confidence vote just twenty four hours later.