or the end fetus has always so to do you'll pm parliamentary election and as the. foetus and. more great program start in second life from moscow every hour of the day this is your are to international. so what we've got to do is identify the threats that we have it's crazy confrontation let it be an arms race based on scary dramatic developments only i'm going to resist i don't see how that strategy will be successful very critical time time to sit down and tom.

glavine redacted is the comedy show where americans in america covering american news are called foreign agents tank you for being here with us it's an exciting time folks this time we are being lied into war yet again which might sound bad but it's much better than being lied into a bad threesome all right so at least we have that going in a moment i'll go through the top four times americans were lied into wars but let's first talk about this past weekend violence broke out on the venezuelan border with colombia in a staged photo op courtesy of our american president well american government how do you know it was a staged photo op because richard branson was at the front of it all right no one sign you're not looking at a real grassroots uprising when a billionaire with a snobby accent is leading it he's he's got eighty billion dollars and he's delivering a sack of mangoes to feed

a million venis well and i don't think. furthermore furthermore sen marco rubio and cool leaders claimed the venezuelan national guard burned a u.s. aid trucks on the bridge in colombia but all available evidence points in. the opposite direction but that's not the end of the face diarrhea spread by c.n.n. and as n.b.c. and fox there's also things like the venezuelan people have nothing they don't even have to have guys they don't know live without do the paste is alive. well here is journalist max blumenthal this past week and caracas venezuela and you can see behind me is toothpaste which c.n.n. has said just not exist in venezuela and what is on the plane or basic goods things that aren't available or accessible in venezuela things like nutritional biscuits toothpaste toothbrushes just basic commodities that aren't available oh thank you i

. take this as a sacrifice oh boy no one had gone to ventura. lord of all of the don to strip. overseer of incisors. now it's all right it's all blow. but this is not the first time our lovely governments in our media have conspired to lie us into war so let's go through the top four times americans have been lied into war by our own government number four the spanish-american war this is widely considered to be the birth of modern media propaganda because it was the first war actually started by the media this insatiable list of reporting of the sinking of the battleship maine in havana harbor in one thousand nine hundred ninety eight and other agree just reporting leading up to the war might have been considered merely cartoonish if it hadn't led

to a major international conflict the scary thing is that that quote comes from the new york times i think maybe they got their quote confused with their mission statement . hard to mislead dragging america in. no major international conflict to take if there was a. number of the vietnam war u.s. troops were sent into the catastrophic vietnam war following the gulf of tonkin incident in which u.s. navy vessels were fired upon by a villainous north vietnamese torpedo boats those violent fishmongers following that scurvy skirmish defense secretary mcnamara recommended president johnson retaliate and open war then began only one problem there was no gulf of tonkin incident unless you count u.s. naval ships literally firing their weapons at rainclouds they saw in their radars

in the two thousand three documentary the fog of war the former secretary of defense robert mcnamara admitted that the august fourth gulf of tonkin attack never happened it never happened it didn't exist it was like leprechauns or dragons or simon cows talent all right a big myth of your imagination the lies of our government and our founding media led to the death of fifty eight thousand u.s. service members and as many as three point eight million vietnamese number two the iraq war. there we go. of course. of course is the most obvious lie about iraq in fact here's an image of all the weapons of mass destruction we found in iraq oh you know took a while to find that image but. but that wasn't the only law used to bring about our complete annihilation of that country for example the

idea that saddam hussein was connected to al qaeda and perhaps played a role in the nine eleven attacks william sapphire at the new york times in may two thousand and two roads mohammad destined to be the leading september eleventh suicide hijackers was reported last fall by czech intelligence to have met at least once with saddam hussein's espionage chief in the iraqi embassy saddam's involvement with muhammad was of course proven to be nonexistent and seeing as this column is still up on the new york times website i thought i'd show you the correction they now have on that article. for. thanks for clarifying that you know times i would say the new york times is only useful for covering the bottom of a birdcage but i would fear they would like the bird into an ill advised war killing millions of people. but it doesn't stop there do you remember the anthrax

attacks that happened after nine eleven anthrax was mailed to press outlets and politicians well to this day some people still believe it had something to do with iraq or al qaeda they believe that because of professional embarrassments like brian ross at a.b.c. news who wrote the anthrax in the tainted letter sent to tom daschle all was laced with bentonite and bentonite is a trademark of a rocky leader saddam hussein's biological weapons program so long pointed out all of those factual claims were. completely false yet neither a.b.c. nor ross have ever retracted corrected clarified or explained these fraudulent reports but despite all these false stories we don't have a smoking gun showing the bush administration created these lies to get us into iraq oh wait turns out the paper shredder in the bush oval office was on strike for higher minimum wage in two thousand and two and that's why we have

a memo which was written by bush's defense secretary donald rumsfeld a year before the start of the iraq war is a memo about war with iraq stated how start us discovers saddam did actually the september eleventh or maybe connection to the anthrax attacks or maybe a dispute over w m d inspections yes he wrote it down like he was mapping out a bad novel you see you see you see this let's see right here yeah that's a war crime right there and oh here and and here. and there oh. yeah you guys don't find work up as funny as i do apparently but. anyway this all laid the groundwork for an invasion that left roughly a million people dead and now most recently number one the bombing of syria as the corporate media will tell us president assad gassed his own people there by guaranteeing more investor american involvement and he did it just days after trump

are told the pentagon to begin withdrawing troops of course is it would do that it makes perfect stands it's kind of like hell when i'm about to win a fist fight i often slug myself in the over and over and over again just to kind of keep it exciting. anyway on previous episodes i've explained how we know they're supposed chemical attacks didn't happen as have famed journalist seymour hersh and john pilger but there's a new update just last week of b.b.c. for do. came forward and said the syria do look chemical attack footage was staged at the american media with little or no evidence ran around saying there was a chemical attack those poor baseball and i don't have to play his data. down to our house. anyway i hope you've

enjoyed this installment of how americans are lied into or the point is we've replaced our media with still refers to the ruling elite if you lie well enough to the american people you can win awards or get your own private jet or host a t.v. show with free in the green room now that we're getting to the point where the actual rulers the trumpet ministration etc are not even hiding their true intentions john bolton said we need to go into venezuela to steal their oil but our media continues to protect them even after bolton said that you don't see anderson cooper or what a fox news is a grand wizard say in the dirt as well who is about getting their oil no c.n.n. and the others keep defending the propaganda lie and you know what we want to help the poor people of venezuela if you want to help people then keep america out of their face all right. those who want them to

have anything to do with the country that invented drive thru fried food served in a bucket and we're right nasals play is all right at no point does anyone look at the donald trump president say and go wow that country really has things figured out i hope they bring some of their great decisionmaking. to the last two days to build a base that is. well come on lee can elicit the news from behind and we're going to spend the next forty five minutes of this half hour show on michael holmes testimony to congress and

we're doing that because we're not doing it i've got to get you realize that what cohen said on every other television show i think that even aired his testimony live on celebrity big brother so you pretty much everywhere i will give you a quick rundown i ride cohen said trump's a racist he's an idiot he's a fraud trump pays women to not tell anyone they had sex with him as if any woman wants to tell anyone they had sex with him trumps a con man he's greedy and colin said he did not see any collusion between russia and trump which people are pissed off the democrats so so basically michael going told us everything we already knew but now we have the receipts so that's nice. which unfortunately don jr has drawn all over so. because john donne jr is has the i.q. of a pet rock it really does i'm sorry abacus i was a joke it was a joke at

a kiss you know out right i'm speaking of receipts and large purchases i open my apple news app this week which i love because it tells me what to think about stories that are utterly meaningless rather then me having to decide on my own what to think about stories that are utterly meaningless and the first story in featured was that zoe kravitz were eighteen carat gold braw to the oscars after a party that is worth twenty four thousand dollars this is wonderful this is. if a beautiful daughter of a famous actress mother and a famous musician father who is himself the son of a famous actress mother can then make it big enough to wear a bra they could feed the average american family for three and a half years then anyone can make it. ok this is the case

this is not the gross excess of an empire on the verge of collapse oh. the gross access of an empire on the verge of awesome. i mean our empire may be sagging a little but that's what the brothers for. immediately following that story about the twenty four thousand dollars brawl was i'm not kidding a story about millennialists are facing one trillion dollars in debt trillion dollars now i can see why two outside observer they see these two stories back to back and they may think the elites in our society are swimming in money while the average americans are drowning in debt creating a society with more inequality than ancient rome just before the collapse i can see why they would say that but that is patently and completely uncomfortable to talk

about. so instead i would like to take this news story with take this and we're going to we're going to hide under a rock and we're going to do it put it right here so that we do it so we don't have to see that anymore a little looser. looks like there's another story already under there. every day more than one hundred thirty people in the united states die after overdosing on opioids every day and not only did big pharma corporations hide the reality of the number of deaths but they actively tried to give vince people opioids are fun recently a twenty fifteen opioid rap a video made by instance therapeutics was unearthed it says we have we have an actual is the actual clip of the. phrase. tastes. great listen i'm going to write choice. was just a bad rap

a pig farmer is a bad rap. you know to self to not look under that rock. never never. let me know just. do not look. all right and we'll just put there first if you can. to give rocks the grand canyon's museum has reportedly been exposing tourists to radioactive your rainy arm for eighteen years the five gallon containers held your rainy and specimens placed in the museum building in the two thousand next to a taxidermy exhibit that was frequented by children. i can't believe those eighty eight kids were standing next to radioactive rods and they.

i'm told we have an update to the story kathryn higley head of the school of nuclear science and engineering at oregon state said the likelihood of people receiving serious radiation exposure from the bucket. is extremely unlikely oh thank god i don't know why we have our fun. i'm sorry i'm sorry although i have to admit after the way the trumpet ministration and the e.p.a. corporate goons have been treating national parks i was kind of excited the parks were fighting back finally i guess we'll just have to go back to killing ourselves the old fashioned way lead tainted with tap water and opioids. this is pretty clear that some of. their daughter could write but i've lived out in time goes by to. tell us it should be easy.

after the previous stage of my career was over everyone wondered what i was going to do next that the ball different clubs on one hand it is logical to sort of go from fields where everything is familiar on the other i want to the new challenge and the fresh perspective i'm used to suppressing and i saw what you think. i'm going to talk about football not the or else if you think i was going to go. by the way what is the punch line here.

well. five americans with a large cache of assault weapons were arrested in haiti a few days ago the mercenaries and former navy. the seals claimed they were on a u.s. government mission the u.s. citizens were then released and returned a hold without for going to charges that there was no it was just going to look a little death squad vacation. i wonder if the seafood buffet was included are you going to pay extra for that or how that works here to discuss his or in security specialist naomi. you know leave caribbean countries and especially haiti will accuse the u.s. of interfering in their affairs and well yeah go out. during protests against a us bank leader you found five armed american goons to no good lock us up and

then will receive diplomatic immunity from anything that you try against us so. they actually have to say they were on a u.s. government mission with that much artillery like well it seems appropriate considering our past missions of statecraft in haiti and one nine hundred fourteen u.s. marines took five hundred thousand dollars from the haitian national bank and transported it to newark for safekeeping then that we keep radiating from one thousand nine hundred fifteen to nine hundred thirty six this wildly popular leader into exile also for safekeeping then there was this it's a terror police the tonton macoutes job opportunities for the youth of course. to buy u.s. subsidized rice destroying their rice market that's that's an economic partnership and then the well we of course kidnapped and pushed out this wildly popular leader

era state into exile for of course safekeeping now under the mention the clintons use the earthquake for regime change and corporate enrichment a disaster program so what were those guys really doing on their own they said was our boss will call your boss and. if used to say more it sounds good which sounds like a line from a bad episode of the sopranos you know tony joins blackwater as a private security contractor faces conspiracy charges overseas and then has to ask the f.b.i. for ho that doesn't sound like the sopranos never seen it ocean. ocean's fine didn't exactly pack light they had unlicensed illegal a ar fifteen rifles pistols various nine satellite phones drones and other tactical gear they had to surrender everything including very skittle. over to the haitian authorities gentles they brought skittles to a massacre just like i brought skittles so this is easy where you point saying

she's. so worried leave the safety is on ok many haitians believe that these americans might have been hired by us backed president when we secure and disperse protesters however haitian police handed them over to the american authorities who were scored them onto a plane without handcuffs and then they were set free like one of those hit men pointed out they were the victims he said we were not released we were in fact rescue. oh my god this is c. li we need private security for our scenario they can't go out there all alone. that's why i started this new venture got your back water. moving all your paramilitary men and mercenaries from threats out there such as questions. was what my boss will call your boss. or your boss well go

ahead call him i guess the other you know i. was told that ok you do that leverage occasion recently a very interesting textbook came out and sober. asking where the authors got their information for more on this we sent redacted correspondent natalie mcgill to arizona she filed this report. this is a message to americans about something we've been in denial about for years i think it's time we finally face reality that we have a coke problem. no no not that kind of. not that coke either they're bad for other reasons look this coke jesus christ. of course there are some of them who already knew we had a coke problem since their family's money helped fund citizens united suppression

laws and climate change denier propaganda for america's teachers like why scientists disagree about global warming which i'm sure texas teachers still use. to replace the siding for their hurricane harvey fema trailers. but where americans particularly can't lay off the coke is arizona where the coke family and its donor network fund the university of arizona center for the philosophy of freedom which houses the philosophy politics and economics of freedom project a project that touts a limited government and free market economy and classes for arizona high school students by the year two thousand and twenty five will reach roughly a quarter of arizona's high school population seriously at least swap out reach for teach so you don't sound like a cult trying to reach its spring recruitment goal. but a lot of that reach was through

a textbook coauthored by the freedom center's director david smith called ethics economy and entrepreneurship which arizona teachers work for free as well as free training to teach an economics class based on the book but when it came to offering the class in arizona's tucson unified school district citizens an activist in the group coke's off campus were a little more hands on and reviewing the textbook and coax off campus member. who has a degree in economics and over thirty years of banking experience wrote in truthout to me the first clue that this textbook lacked academic integrity was when the authors greek philosophy and marketing professors began their section on trade forty thousand years ago. claimed that the neanderthals became extinct because they weren't sure of the nerves yeah i don't think kickstarter was around forty thousand years ago and even if it was it would be fire starter and if no one backed the

project and they all froze to death this economics by dummies book was so bad that it also completely lacked peer review and economist frank ackerman said words that never appear in this textbook include discrimination inequality and household labor and that the word union only appears twice but i think the first warning sign this book was awful was the fact that it had to were views on amazon dot com even myself published a rot of fan fiction harry potter and the prisoner of stan had done little review them back arizona public schools were nearly slammed again. and tweedle. funded groups that pushed for state lawmakers to pass the school vouchers law which would give mostly well off families the choice to send their kids to private schools luckily a grassroots group called save our schools fought to get

a referendum called proposition five on the ballot of last november's election in which sixty five percent of arizona voted to overturn the law give the people who actively tried to gut unions corrupt politicians and deny climate change a pen and paper and they'll rewrite history in a way that our youth will be doomed to repeat it. and if we're going to give anyone a pen and paper it should be me because i have several edits they made to my latest erotic band fiction harry potter and the philosopher stiffy. reporting from the university of arizona data let me kill her exactly. your headlines from the future in one month you'll learn anderson cooper finally inducted into the manufacturing consent hall of flame. and tomorrow you'll read.

jack nicholson attends oscar's after party in nothing but chic louis baton forty five thousand dollars. that's our show but if you want more growth like stand up comedy special only leave. early. life. limb friends are you know that stuff good guys are good but. you know we're number one movie capital in united states we all slow number one. i mean before. us was for most. people

you selling crack rock or you got a wicked jump shot in order to exclaim. you gotta act like a lying in a months almost. a month of sundays so this is somebody that is at the root for. globalization lost its moral compass and maybe if to put more values into the system my personal opinion is swift to string some multinational multilateral institutions be a living in a dog eat dog world it's like i'm lucy will scream having always you know action and come to action so we need to put spec to the system and we need stronger leadership and better leadership.

join me every thursday. i'm sure. i'm sure. our headline stories this hour of the venice wheelin vice president talks to art see about the crisis that's been gripping the country for more than a month sharing her thoughts on u.s. support for the opposition leader on self declared interim president. also ahead on the program chinese language and cultural centers are threatened with both closure on teachers being forced to register as foreign agents or the united states we get reaction from the students. do you feel threatened by existing this china institute where they get language classes and such now.