of integrity i've been screaming for two years now that this was a stupid conspiracy theory the democrats lost the twenty sixth election to a clown douche game show host because they don't stand for anything unless their quarterly write. were right there currently running for president the democrats do not stand up against wall street don't stand over just on climate change do not stand up to help your average worker all of us out here struggling to make ends meet they don't do it which makes them republicans. because they reduce their own primaries to stop the actual popular candidate from becoming the nominee they did not lose because a boogie man posting that picture. right. did you see these days in my neck to. work out over the last two years. or so

this week our mainstream media reacted to the report and looked like they had just . their pants and it was trickling down their legs all right let's see the first few seconds of the rachel maddow show on monday of this week after she learned what was in the molar report. you know is going to be this kind of night and you know. yeah i tried to go on vacation these last few days did not work so i have got questions i have lots of questions yeah. ok yes you have a lot of such as number one how did i ingest the brain parasite that has taken hold . number two is it possible to teach said parasite that we already did the mccarthyism hysteria thing in the nineteen fifties and it was not good all right and number five eleven you have said parasite middlebury russia hang gliding bob we're going to start your target was. you know why. now before

we continue to look at the reactions of pathetic snake oil salesmen and women i want to make clear how horrific this insanity has been donald trump is corrupt he's been corrupt since way back when he was selling trump board games that included a special get out of grabbing free card. for the whole family he was involved in thousands of lawsuits and before he was president for things like cheating contractors out of money and lying in business dealings so i'm not saying trump isn't corrupt but by creating this laughable and baseless fantasy about russian collusion that that has now been completely and utterly refuted the democrats and the phone resistance and our media have caused a deep harm and here's how number one they have made it look like trump has the moral high ground and has been the victim of a witch hunt for two years this gives him a great platform to run for reelection number two they put the two most heavily

armed countries in the world at the brink of nuclear war two minutes to midnight according to scientists number three they took all air time away from the actual ways in which trump the g.o.p. and the corporate democrats are destroying this country extracting the resources and ensuring our environmental collapse number four they have made trumped and list lies seem legitimate because his claims that he's been targeted by a lying media have been proven completely correct but most importantly they've made it super awkward for me to show off my on a cornucopia tattoo i have on my inner thigh right about here the cashier at the grocery store the other day i was like does that mean you're a russian agent breaking our elections because i know you mean i like tennis and i'm a creepy old man get your. tad

too completely sober. so rachel and her mad cow disease have put this country in a phenomenally dangerous place but it's not just her the reactions of the other talking heads to the mahler report were equally on hey interest what do we know we know russia intervened in our election to help troubled know we told whole point of the expression let's look at what we know is to follow that with factual reality. still what he just said let's look at what we know and then followed it with nonsense that's like saying let's look at what we know we know that pigeons drive around on to help their organ harvesting operations. that we know. look at the evidence of russian interference we've got so far it boils down to two points one was that russia hacked into the d.n.c. servers which has not been proven at all in fact all available evidence shows it

was a leak from the inside the d.n.c. not to ask and the f.b.i. says it never actually examined the hacked servers former d.n.c. chair donna brazil said they destroyed the servers the d.n.c. destroyed the servers before the f.b.i. could examine them. why would one destroy servers that are under investigation do you think is to cover something up. because they enjoy destroying servers that is what i like. and melting down computers servers while they're under investigation. for a good time and the second piece of evidence that a russian what was that a russian click bait farm posted images like that i'm not kidding that's the actual image and they created pro trump rallies such as this one.

i'm not kidding that's the actual rally that apparently swayed our election. i mean. i actually know that i look at them i pick those people could get me to vote for. eight people with a combined seventy two can't be wrong. but i think not so if you honestly believe that this is why trump won and not because hillary was a corrupt candidate for a corrupt party rigged its own primary if you believe that thank you oh thank you thank you enjoy your primary vote taking caterpillar's well let's start let's not now let's keep the crazy train a runnin it may be harder for the intelligence committee frankly led by chairman schiff given this decision on the collusion issue it may be tough yes that probably will make it a little tougher. how dare the moeller report get in the way of our conspiracies

with all of their reality. that's true. and while we're on the topic it was those investigators in iraq to not buy met weapons of mass destruction all right then finding westbank made inquiry ok. well i'm sure an actual congresswoman can't be this lost in never never land. just because there was not enough evidence for a criminal charge because there is see does that mean that this is a very cozy relationship that. were put in who by the way must be really happy that this came about that this kind of close relationship that is not good for a country that is such as fair will continue. her statements are like mad libs written by a child a hiding under

a desk during the cold war. putin must be happy that your dip conspiracy theory has been proven to be a dip conspiracy. yeah but shouldn't we all be happy when reality comes into play should that excite us also. more importantly she says trump has this cozy relationship with russia but trump has sucked for russia trump is bombing syria he's trying to create a coup in venezuela he's expelled russian diplomats pulled out of the i.n.f. treaty set weapons to the ukraine and sanctioned russia far more than obama ever did try. to russia ok and guess wrong. if we're going to survive climate change in the continued environmental collapse we'll need cooperation with other countries i've heard. it and when you work together instead of punching each other in your biggest dicks. krampus sucks

for russia he suffered as well he struck for serious shock for yemen sucks for america and the only thing he's been good for are the rich ruling elite which includes most of the mainstream media and most of congress. secretly i was with was with. the maybe just maybe that's why m.s.n. b.c. aired twenty three times as much coverage of trump during the twenty sixteen campaign than they did of bernie sanders because secretly they love the guy come on m.s.n. b c can't you have someone on with someone hell agents some some real clout you know someone who the people trust and joining us now john podesta for care of hillary clinton's presidential campaign. for the center for american progress that's the other side of this although. i like a guy like you like to have a good talk to him i thought he was in the witness protection program. now we

finally know how to rest and just wait outside imus n.b.c. and then gather. this is the guy who proved. his emails literally prove to the corruption of hillary's campaign they also showed the election rigging by the d.n.c. he should be relegated to the dustbin of history reserved for boneheads like the guy who tried to fly by jumping off a cliff with cardboard wig. milli vanilli about the dollar report. ok. before i wrap this up let's give the mad hatter one more chance while we're on the subject of ideal versus real while we're on the subject of pie in the sky. he's going to say i'm sorry i've lost touch with the real world i'm sorry i brought you a lunatic fringe theory for two straight years i'm sorry that while i was doing

that and this n.b.c. with an entire year without mentioning the genocide in yemen barely talking about climate change barely ever talked about the exploitation of the average american worker by wall street the extraction of wealth to the top i am. sorry three. resign and promise. promise to never speak publicly again i get a new job standing on a sidewalk promoting a local car wash oh my mitt. let's see if you finally apologize when it comes to the the bottom line for this moment in american history when it comes to the bottom line that we have just been through a remarkable thing. we have been through a circumstance in which a hostile foreign adversary launched a complex and sophisticated attack to interfere with our presidential election so they could help get their favorite candidate into the white house and he in fact

got into the white house no no no no no no thanks provably not what happened that's the lesson you're taking for this rachel i took. from one talking head to another you must realize you you somehow morphed yourself into glenn back after all of bottoming all right you. you are alex jones without the blood spurting out your ears you want to rush limbaugh but less coherent. and without the bag full of tickets to a sex dungeon where. you are a clown of the highest order you have taken what appear to be progressive beliefs and funneled them through the realm of big foot and mystical swamp creatures of thirty second ads fairy tales from hucksters all right don't take it for me here's from an op ed this week in your beloved new york times over the past three years

a good many members of the opposition to donald trump a mix of serious journalists cable television host pop culture personalities erstwhile government officials professional activists and politicians have been invested in what appears to be exactly the kind of conspiracy legacy of parent no collusion conclusion to the mahler investigation there will be now be a retreat from this alternative reality to more defensible to raymond to all of you in the mainstream media get off the thin ice head on back to solid ground here here it is in fact i bought you some hinges and a few c.d.'s broken loose for years now do you watch it david oh yes you are you either.

you know my phone line smoked i go make an incredible meeting mark the moment i'm on the scene from a point of view into november going to have some come from stuff to get a. lot of fun. just let me get my face. she was you me. just for you go british course that's when the band broke up. i mean you got. to. listen to. the.

federal reserve bank the european central bank the bank of england the bank of japan they are fifty sixty seventy percent leveraged much more leverage than long term capital management ever was much more lovers and lehman brothers or bear stearns ever was there the most leverage hedge funds that we've ever seen in the history and the hedge fund skullduggery but it doesn't matter because they can print and buy back their own dead end if the cycle of profit loss prosperity and then one day like wiley coyote over the cliff chasing the road runner there's that moment of recognition and then oh oh oh oh oh oh there you go it's all. gone there was an eye. she used to do kirk when i was a little kid that day he was like oh just so you know like what i

mean when i was a baby but i had a bad child. there's always play and single mothers and african-american community service and slavery. i think it's more of a issue of these teenagers having kids and you can't expect a fourteen or fifteen year old first daughter how ordinary for a hand if you're farther and he said check out. the last place and i told her my car and breaking down and i was unable to get to work on time so they let me go with my paycheck that i bring home i have merely enough to pay my car insurance i think i asked. them. about why these states have expanded background checks for purchasing guns

however these so-called red flag laws face resistance from about a hundred local sheriffs who say they won't enforce the law but i hear if you just carry the gun in a paper bag know what really works well. through this crisis aren't walking red flag. i mean. everyone needs a safe space minorities children says are your birth certificate the fake one and the real one here illicit drugs space so say you forget where it is i'm sober today and your smith and wesson needs a safe space too that's why these different sheriffs are declaring that their counties are second amendment so. whereis great idea because guns are people too. good they just rip off the idea of sanctuary cities that zero rich analogy is

overrated it's the artist's voice that matters and you better listen to those voices because they're packing heat. guns sanctuaries were indeed inspired by officials in liberal communities who refuse to cooperate with federal immigration authorities if the illegal immigrant is safe in a sanctuary city then the second amendment gun owner would be safe in a sanctuary county to exercise his right to bear arms this is this is just a noxious want these gun sanctuaries give shelter to semiautomatic refugees from kosovo where our. firearms are being pushed so far into the shadows that like immigrants we should marry them to keep them legal. people should start adding little anchor b.b. guns. you know there were so many hurdles to tie the knot with my rifle that i just got engaged to a machete. he graduates it sounds like

a more perfect match it really is now that the gun show loophole is closing where will that twenty two percent of firearm consumers meaning millions get their military grade weapons without background checks that ask you invasive questions about your mental health like what is your first and last name. and new mexico sheriff tony mace calls this feel good legislation. yeah it feels good to not get shot. but that's how institution is not about feeling good it's about your right to a shorter life expectancy. and says this is tony mace really yes yes that's how the spray was made legal in his jurisdiction his first ways. was a can of mace. his current wife is this good luck well that's really progressive of him to take his ex-wife's name let's look at how in the me is now

this is the coolest freaking gun point pointed to that one right there i think we actually have another fancy one less bear that's all dressed up in a grips in her body cause that when my barbecue gun but no i like it that's. tough . that is so beautiful and so touching you know what lead these red flag bills are banning ownership of guns for people who need it to do their jobs convicted don't mess it up users install birth. jumper without a weapon that would make you weigh less effective as far as tactical gear goes those juniper bush is your hiding in are not offensive weapons unless you set them on fire and there you have another charge to deal with. ok can the law enforcement really just disobey the laws that would design enforcement of something called discretion that's how they've been getting away with murder all these years but there's also legal challenges a missouri lawmaker introduced

a bill requiring a ar fifteen ownership require that you can say i told people i wouldn't trust with a toaster. no it's a very thought out program where you get a tax credit for the purchasing of an a r fifteen it's obamacare for guns and. nearly all of the mass shootings we've been through this year have been carried out with the help of an a r fifteen you know what i always dreamt that every man woman and disgruntled teen in the country could have their very own semiautomatic rifle. that way in the future there will be fewer people. nor do i have people to naomi given us everyone. moving to continue to make people in your lectures of possible a big surprise of ground zero for that florida to learn more about this let's go to

redacted tonight correspondent natalie mcgill. apparently the hot trend this month is googling the words florida man and your birth date the see what jacked up headline you get but no one ever talks about the many smart professional people in the sunshine state all you have to do to learn about the real florida is watch their local news a man accused of destroying a liquor store in oakland a caterpillar smoking is told him to do it a local man who i consider to the joker arrested on a weapons charge is now out of jail and there's no cool way with a gun around i know but i'm kind of night i do not have a gun on. someone who altered his face to look like a comic book villain you have to applaud him for his honesty and thankfully in twenty eighteen sixty five percent of florida voters were honest with themselves

about the importance of democracy for every floridian when their vote on a ballot initiative called amendment four restored the right to vote for one point four million x. felons but the republican held florida house of representatives was going to let a silly thing like the will of the people thrown their state as america's laughing stock that's why despite the ballot initiative restoring expelling voting rights florida republicans voted to strip most ballons of voting rights unless they pay a poll tax you remember the poll tax it's the jim crow era form of oppression that forced newly freed slaves the pay of the before they could vote in a practice so antiquated it makes you wonder if a florida house members idea of a good throwback thursday boat. an instagram is just the picture of a plantation mansion of a caption that says the good old days in the case of florida's house of reps

a poll tax means felons would first have to pay any outstanding court fines and fees before regaining the right to vote this is obviously a burden on ex presenters who are we entering their already economically depressed communities and who will likely face so many job projections based on their records that the only employer who will accept them is the casting director for floor bama shore and if you couldn't tell already they'll take any. before men but for past experiments had to wait five to seven years after finishing their sentence to apply to the state's clemency board in order to restore their voting rights before filing a written application and hopes of appearing before the board in person and the board can ask a bunch of tough questions that make them feel like they're at a speed dating night from help when the last time you had to drink how many children do you have how many how many different. mothers two of those children you

know go to church give or take your parents to dinner christ if those are close and final jeopardy my final answer would be what are questions my mom asks when i bring guys home and i'm sure. all my cash in former governor rick scott's first seventy years of office only three thousand of more than thirty thousand applicants regain voting rights duly elected republican governor rhonda santas has even less incentive to assist expel him when he accepted one hundred thousand dollars from geo group a controversial florida based private prison giant and twenty eighteen we all know you should never bite the hand that feeds you. unless that hand belongs the governor to santa san the teeth belong to an impossibly drunk alligator and i know people can handle petting zoo this whole tax isn't written in stone yet but my birthday is in september so by then i hope that when i search florida man in my

birthdate i'll see a florida man votes for first time in twenty years and not before the man was electrocuted trying to retrieve one of his pet pigeons from a power line reporting from florida natalie mcneal redacted tonight. your headline from the future you may have heard israel is back to bombing the out of gaza tomorrow you'll learn israeli intelligence claims hamas has secretly developed extra large rocks to throw. someone choice of the and in three days you'll read. robert muller spotted alone at all of garden just kind of portugal's food. then one week from now all. friends begin to worry about rachel maddow after she does entire first type of show crazy wrong direction we're. sorry but if you. watch my stand up comedy.

is a tense situation in venezuela is still all over the news the problem in venezuela is not that socialism has been poorly implemented but that socialism has been faithfully implement from the inside venezuela things are different we're going to announce sanctions against a troll to venezuela associated. in the school at the moment. that. football fan would assume that the map of the moment. the whose story is a view makes it cold in henry kissinger to tell him that it would not be tolerated

in latin america whole and therefore the policy would be to make. the chilean economy scream so wants to make the economy of venezuela schoolies. seemed wrong. just don't call. me. yet to shape out these days become active. and engaged equals betrayal. when so many find themselves worlds apart when she's to look for common ground. to get up off the ground serve began to. hurt them freeze on the

sounds of kind of mighty mean grown man with mislead essentially. pushed it away from the officer. of his group. the officer did a kind of lunge for the weapon once missed and then when it happened on she swung at constitutions didn't you know i never saw any contact with you any kind went back to where they were so the master's back here there and i again fifteen feet apart at this point. person's. prime minister to resign maisie you divorced feels defeated for a third time leading to fears of a disorderly exit from the block in just two weeks. these are a lot of pictures we can show you with thousands of palestinians rally along the perimeter fence between gaza and israel a mocking one a year since the beginning of the great. project campaign. the u.s. threatens russia with further sanctions if moscow refuses to put its troops out in

front as well.