and then i try to be feel and and listen for his voice was guided. my name is billy burley. living here in polk. and i used to work for nasa. and let me show you all around the help a little bit. of the weather over here and. we don't have air conditioning over here and so we keep the doors and windows open for good bit throughout the year. canny a little introverted it. had a speech impediment and tried to talk a lot of people didn't understand me and my body told me i belong to the boy. and i

thought. that i belong with the girl. and i didn't know which way to go wanted to be like my sister. i should be like my turf and where my older sisters started wearing makeup. and it was summer. in the bathroom. and then in the sixth grade when i was. on the summer early teen and we had a new. well he would do when he had an chance he wouldn't play with me he would fondo me and. try to get me to have interaction and just continue to play with me.

just. here you are going to keep moving around. quiet bad dog bad dog hold. i will. go away just lay down. go lay down first off my name is. i'm an author i've written eight books so far three of them to do with transsexuality i was born male grew up in a very conservative republican family my father was pretty much absent most of my childhood he was an alcoholic. my mother was mentally ill the childhood was so troubled and so traumatic. in retrospect i was able to look at it and realize that there was no way i was getting out of childhood normal you go and you

take a shower and you're there to get claim but every time i had to take off my clothes every time i went to bed you know there's no getting around the fact that i wasn't a girl that i was a boy and that really is the one memory that sticks out is just how much i hate. my penis hate it my p.s. by the time i left high school when i was eighteen i was cross-dressing most of the time once i was away from school. a couple of years afterwards i ended up in san francisco which had a very small gay community and i started i had made the decision by the time i was about twenty to start living full time as a girl. when you start dating people and if you pass well enough the whole purpose is are you a transsexual or are you a woman and my in my mind i was away. as

a woman i'm wanting to date and i'm not telling the men that i'm dating that i have i'm a painter and so when they find out they become violent there were a couple instances where i was beaten very badly. by meter georgia. surgeon. and i'm a leader of the for journey political start to dollar tree our center is very well known especially for transgender surgery and we perform all types of crimes other surgery male to female female to male reduce surgery possible complications and one of the. very very. very volatile sort of regretful after one on one model on the way in transgender transformation we try always to to make a detail is to be the first very functional and then to be. more acceptable in a static code heel if you discuss or both male to female results and much better

because he was sort of dreamy create a completely normal female and this person is usually can have a sexual intercourse and enjoy in sexual activity according to our experience more than ninety percent transgender surgery starts to be a very popular. person's doctors and you can you can find up to many drop some do you feel oh i'm going to make my journey to least will be different like now and i will be very nice lady or i will be a very strong man or something ladies enough to that i'll to some event like alcohol or drug abuse or something ladies. get away from a seizure of a new beginning to this the main milestone was finding a doctor who would give me the hormones if i get the hormones and female crosstabs hormones my life will be perfect. then you think well if i can only get my voice

get my male voice up here then that battle make me you know just happy and then you think the next thing is well if i can get breast implants. that's all i need it's never enough and finally if you've gone through the therapy and you can convince a doctor to start cutting on you you go and you have a sex change i had my sex change in one thousand nine hundred ninety and in the back of my mind i didn't think i thought it might be like all the other stuff i had done but i was hoping just hoping that that would make me feel complete. and i want to get it. so why would you tell your neighbor that you did something

that was so stupid it's absolutely ridiculous to tell a neighbor hey i was a transgender transition pretty embarrassing you go through a gender change to be that stupid to believe that you can actually change genders you get to be pretty. quick to handle the truth. i was born in los angeles good family good people i was taken to my grandmother's house quite frequently as my parents like to go away on the weekend they like to camp and fish. became interested in my grandma's house. and i mentioned something to her about that so she decided to make me a purple dress to put it on and one of the dress i finally got so interested and excited about wearing a dress that i get tired of waiting till i was going to go. well

my mom found the dress. i was never allowed to go to grandma's house again. changed my name. when i was about thirteen years old to crystal probably in my late twenties. to. take hormone therapy thirty five years ago there wasn't much information and we concluded. based on everything that was available at the time. undergoing hormone therapy hormone therapy. would be the. old quote. in one thousand nine hundred eighty three. and. it was amazing i felt like the world lifted from my shoulders and it was

really wonderful the only thing i don't know. made me feel this way was it because through the surgery because you're pretty heavily medicated my. female name at the time was. in the market. so again. all these quote. i think. fifty fifty five trillion dollars. worth.

this drug where her cocaine is where four bucks for the dia under fifty to everybody use cocaine crack cocaine you can smoke it this is worth fifteen thirty. twenty. score came to this is about a fifteen dollar big people smoke this one figures this will be you can find these drugs in any city in the united states that you want long as you want to get it about to. make money. and that's what i do every day. what is a bit coy and big when is magic coming up a new type of digital currency decentralized digital scarcity chancellor i'm

bringing a second bailout for a bank that's called that got us a lot for a reason to calling it civil disobedience a source of optimism because i can control my own financial destiny it's just a new way of coming to consensus it's a game changer in the human history and this is columbus discovering a new world this paradigm shifting knowledge that transforms economics and finance it hard to apollo eleven landing on to the let's see. you know world of big partisan lot and conspiracy it's time to wake up to dig deeper to hit the stories that mainstream media refuses to tell more than ever we need to be smarter we need to stop slamming the door. and shouting past each other it's time for critical thinking it's time to fight. for the middle for

the troops the time is now we're watching closely watching the hawks. in a nice quiet. little bit apprehensive going into surgery but. a little and five it seemed finally we're at this point. after going into. surgery in the. coming out of surgery. elevator. and mean that it was because. i was very relieved. i was losing

a lot of the through the surgical fight. and what they did was put. into my new. housing. and finally. this is now behind. now and start my new life. i never had the full ability to have intercourse because the vagina that they make is so small so any time i tried to have intercourse it was extremely painful and it wouldn't happen so these surgeries are nothing more than plastic surgery they they don't create the phalluses that they create for a female to males are really hideous looking i've had several female to male friends and you look at it and you just go oh god you paid for that it's horrible the sex change didn't solve my discomfort. the doctors who are honest will say that

the gender dysphoria is always there and it's because the confusion is it's not so much it starts out being about your anatomy but really what it's you don't like yourself. being a free and society being i call it in my book a social pariah is not the way you want to live the isolation drives you to despair and so yeah suicide is a big big thing maybe. it's a day where you thought. yesterday i don't know the first time was right before the surgery in one thousand nine hundred and

the only thing that kept me from doing a quiet honest is i'm a coward at heart. just . at the time i wanted in my life and somebody i knew had some cocaine so i attempted to use it to kill myself and it obviously didn't work but. my heart was pounding so hard after i thought it was going to come out of my chest . i feel safer having done that and that staying in one place where people might find out what i do and who i am i don't want people to know that around me i don't want to be. outed by the people around me. i was leaving church one day on sunday. three four years ago now and i get it e-mail it said i'm ready

to commit suicide can you help me and it was a transgender who had lived the life transgender life for two or three years and was totally discouraged i was actually exchanging information and talking with him on some level up to five times a day to keep him from committing suicide he eventually stored is why he did transition back this is my. computer my dad is. my slippers and this is where i sit and work i don't need any more than this. everything that i do is here on the computer or on the phone talking to people transition now for twenty five years. it was when i did transition. everything began to make sense to me and when i realized how important it was to

de transition to become psychologically emotionally and socially a healthy person that i wanted others who wanted to do transition to have a way to come back to that same experience that i have and if they have regret and want to transition i have built a website for sex change com. yeah . billy contacted me by email like most people do and we began to exchange information and phone his story was just like mine he was sexually abused i was sexually abused and that was the trigger point changing genders.

seven years after transitioning to woman and woman. started thinking ok i've been doing this for seven years now my problem should've gone away from by now but they had me and i actually had more problems at that point another problem is just trying to pass. trying to do my hair just right trying to do my makeup just for i trying to look just right to where people would not be and confortable because you can see when people identify you as being transgendered. this isn't why. nothing has really changed i'm still struggling i was better off if i was

before the surgery before the hormone treatment it was at that point five years after the surgery they are about i started to have about changing back that's my student id. and so now it's women that i had a really big adam's apple heavy brown ridge. pretty big. as the idea after i had third jury. and then when i was transitioning back to mail. in louisiana and the driver's license i had a lot of other pictures from that period but one day. when i was in my office looking at the pictures of me back during the seven year period seven eight years. being female it was very discouraging that i wasted so much of my life in

particular period doing. just in the state that i was. i raised all of the pictures that i had with the computer and destroyed the pictures of me from that period to try to write. with god's help i went through the change and i went back to being male so i went through the surgery . on the bag of it was so much pain and so much discomfort in the right to grab a dream or in the earth. in then when he. was horrified to me it was gross but it was. in the paperwork to

me. when i had the surgery done initially he gave me the paperwork and said ok i'm changed to mayo i'm sixty years old there's no reason for me after a lifetime of being in transition to go and start living dressing as a man a name. there's there's there's no there's no. there's no benefit but there is a benefit and my standing before an audience of young kids and college who are considering this. and saying to them ok i'm the real deal i started living when i as a woman when i was twenty i've lived forty years of my life i had breast augmentation i've had genital surgery i've had forty years of hormones all of it has not made my life any better it's never solved the problem you. breaks your your left leg you go

into a doctor's office and under the transsexual rule of medical treatment they say this is your new normal and we're going to break your right leg too i think it's safe to say. when somebody has been crossed and affirmed physically abused and sexually abused that psychotherapy is the most needed therapy hormones and surgery. was already. a good. day. her daughter came over to my fourth christian athletes meeting and it was bigger than i first met her.

and that was in two thousand. and. three i didn't know it that. so i asked one of my classmates what does that mean. a lot of my younger classmates so so she said at the safeway for asking for her trying to meet up with somebody i shared with her my past and. how i was. and she said ok let's be friends we had shared the same interests what i was saying we both like doing stuff especially. but. i don't know i can't i know he was he remembers one time we were high and we sat down for. i sat close to him when. i mean one point.

with changing. that it was ok for me to start. in a romantic wife and i did. the intimate themes of tween rachel and me. with me being surgically altered i. come to want to. write we enjoy intimacy. fresh air. it is beautiful. for a little bit more right. if you notice. the green is starting to turn back to brown vs me pretty soon after a few monts. i think i thought about it for not too long maybe a week or two and responded yes my older daughter said. she want they

want me to be happy. it was going to change back for the big moment came when. i was praying and the lord jesus appeared to me as a vision in the very soul i could touch him just like i could touch anybody here and he came and reached down to me with his hands and picked me up and said you're now safe with me forever and it was at that moment. my life changed in a split second. leg of this i'm healthy. many of the people who've gone through this before me are dead. they're still struggling. with their

identity and i'm alive and well and healthy and married for twenty one years to my wife. it's. restoration and i'm helping other people what other thing that's better in life when you're reaching out and helping other people with their life. a. little too pretty. to pretty tasty. i am so happy i am the way i am now. even though i have problems i have a choice to let my problems. me. more to look to see each day as

a beautiful day and just to enjoy the life. in him. and you in me baby in his hands he's viewing me baby in his hands he's got the whole world.

i do think the numbers mean for they've mattered the us has over one trillion dollars in debt more than ten white collar crime families each day. eighty five percent of global wealth he longs to be ultra rich eight point six percent world market rose thirty percent some with four hundred apply put it three per second per second and when he rose to twenty thousand dollars. china's building two point one billion dollars a i industrial park but don't let the numbers over. the only number you need to remember in one one business showed you know board the mid one and only boom but. what is due before you came here where did you were before you came here when you live. in many us states capital punishment is still practiced

convicted prisoners can spend years waiting for execution but most of the time the victims' families they are very much in favor the death penalty there are some people that because of what they did have given up the right to live among us some might even proven innocent enough to yez on death row and how many more exonerations is it going to take before we as a society realize that this is not working and we actually do something about. a little. bit of. russia. will have.

turned their anger on the countries that super rich for pledging vast sums of money to rebuild the cathedral while ignoring the plight of struggling citizens. with a detailed rebuttal of meddling allegations we scrutinize some of the other bombshell claims from the us investigation. presidential hopefuls bernie sanders and joe biden are ready to go head to head for the democratic nomination driving a wedge through the party.