right there around for. usually i wake up beforehand if you. read the bible and i have and then i try to be feeling and listen for his voice his guidance. my name is billy hurley. living here and poke. and i used to work for nasa. and let me show you all around the house a little bit. of the weather over here and. we don't have air conditioning over here and so we keep the doors and windows open for good

bit throughout the year. i was. skinny little introverted kid had a speech impediment and tried to talk but a lot of people didn't understand me and my body tomie i belong to the boy. and i thought it's my mind with me and that i belong with the girl. and i didn't know which way to go and wanted to be like my sister's. i should be like my fifth to earth and where my older sister started wearing makeup . and with some of her makeup in the bathroom. and then in the sixth grade when i was. on the formerly teen

and we had a new diving. he would do when he had a chance he wouldn't play with me he would fondo me and. try to get me to have interaction and just continue to play with me. a map he should sure into a room. for just a moment. come on come you know and get you into a room back here you are going to keep moving around come on a quiet bad dog bad hold one moment i will. silence the dog. dottie dottie don't need to lay down. go lay down first off my name is. i'm an author i've written eight books so far

three of them to do with transsexuality i was born male grew up in a very conservative republican family my father was pretty much absent most of my childhood he was an alcoholic. my mother was mentally ill childhood was so troubled and trips so traumatic that in retrospect i was able to look at it and realize that there was no way i was getting out of childhood normal you go and you take a shower and you're there to get clean but every time i had to take off my clothes every time i went to bed you know there is no getting around the fact that i wasn't a girl that i was a boy and that really is the one memory that sticks out is just how much i hate. my penis hated my penis by the time i left high school when i was eighteen i

was cross-dressing most of the time once i was away from school and a couple of years afterwards i ended up in san francisco which had a very small gay community and i started i had made the decision by the time i was about twenty to start living full time as a girl. when you started dating people and if you pass well enough the whole purpose is are you a transsexual or are you a woman and my in my mind i was always a woman i'm wanting to date and i'm not telling the men that i'm dating that i have them. and so when they find out they become violent there were a couple instances where i was beaten very badly. and i'm a leader of go to center for journey political start our center is very well known

especially for transgender surgery and we perform all types of trauma for them surgery of male to female female to male or to do surgery possible complications and one of the. very very. volatile sort of regretful. one of the way in terms of other transformation we really try oldest to to make you do need to be first very functional and then to be. more acceptable in a stud to coat heel if you discuss them both male to female results and much better because he was sort of dreamy create a completely normal female and this person is usually can have a sexual intercourse and enjoy in sexual activity according to our experience more than ninety percent transgender surgery starts to be a very popular. person's doctors and you can you can find up to

many drug. i'm going to make my journey to least would be different like now and i would be very nice lady or i would be a very strong man or something ladies enough to that. event like alcohol or drug abuse or something ladies. get away from a seizure with a new beginning to this the main milestone was finding a doctor who would give me the hormones if i get the hormones and female cross sets or modes my life will be perfect and then you think well if i can only get my voice get my male voice up here then that that'll make me you know just happy and then you think the next thing is well if i can get breast implants. that's all i need it's never enough and finally if you. gone through the therapy and you can convince a doctor to start cutting on you you go and you have

a sex change i had my sex change in one thousand nine hundred ninety and in the back of my mind i didn't think i thought it might be like all the other stuff i had done but i was hoping just hoping it would make me feel complete. and i want to get it. so why would you tell your neighbor that you did something that was so stupid it's absolutely ridiculous to tell a neighbor hey i was a transgendered transition pretty embarrassing you go through a gender change to be that stupid to believe that you can actually change genders you get to be pretty. quick to handle the truth.

i was born in los angeles good family good people i was taken to my grandmother's house quite frequently as my parents like to go away on the weekend they like to camp and fish. became interested in my grandma's house. and i mentioned something to her about that so she decided to make me a purple dress to put it on and wear the dress i finally got so interested and excited about wearing a dress that i get tired of waiting till i was going to go to grandma's house to secretly press trips so i snatched the dress home my mom found the dress. i was never allowed to go to grandma's house again. the first step was i changed my name secretly when i was about thirteen years old to crystal probably in my late twenties. i started to talk to doctors about hormone therapy and i began to take hormone therapy thirty five years ago there wasn't much information and we

concluded. based on everything that was available at the time. undergoing hormone therapy hormone therapy and gender reassignment surgery would be the answer to resolve this quote gender identity disorder that's when i. eighty three. in trinidad it was amazing i felt like the world had been lifted from my shoulders and it was really wonderful the only thing i don't know is was that all the medication from five hours of surgery that made me feel this way you know was it because i'd gone through the surgery because you're pretty heavily medicated my. female name at the time was laura.

was in crisis was a result of securitizing mortgages that were resold. like goldman sachs was. a. controlled demolition of the housing market. concentrated. as a gift from the friends of the banks. we could only be done. through. some pretty deep.

well. there you were among the group of. six if you're then he says. the security. will psycho. social we're going to produce a. nice

tell and quiet and a small. little bit apprehensive going into surgery but. a little and fight it seemed final point and after going into. surgery in the. coming out of surgery. and they assured me that it was gone. i was very relieved. i was losing a lot of through the surgery i. put. into

my new. housing. and finally this is done. now and start my new. i never have the full ability to have intercourse because the vagina that they make is so small so any time i tried to have intercourse it was extremely painful and it wouldn't happen so these surgeries are nothing more than plastic surgery they they don't create the phalluses that they create for female to males are really hideous looking i've had several female to male friends and you look at it and you just go oh god you paid for that it's horrible the sex change didn't solve my discomfort the doctors who are honest will say that the gender dysphoria is always there and

it's because the confusion is it's not so much it starts out being about your anatomy but really what it's you don't like yourself. being free and society being i call it in my book a social pariah is not the way you want to live the isolation drives you to despair and so yeah suicide is a big big thing maybe. where you thought. yesterday i don't know the first time was. one thousand nine hundred and the only thing that kept me from doing

a. coward at heart. at the time. somebody. tempted to use it. and it obviously didn't work but. my heart was pounding so. i feel safer. place where people might find. people. i don't want to be. by the people around me. church one day. four years ago.

i'm ready to commit suicide. it was. for two or three years. i was actually exchanging information. to keep from committing eventually. computer. everything. on the computer. to people. for twenty five years. it was when i did. everything. began to make sense to me and when i realized that how important it was

to de transition to become psychologically emotionally and socially a healthy person that i wanted others who wanted to do transition to have a way to come back to that same experience that i have and if they have regret and want to transition i have built a website for them sex change regret com. in our area. yeah we're doing we're doing good billy contacted me by email like most people do and we began to exchange information and i talked to remind the phone his story was just like mine he was sexually abused i was sexually abused and that was kind of the trigger point of changing genders. the kid. gets clothes on.

seven years after transitioning to woman and woman. started thinking ok i've been doing this for seven years now my problem should've gone away from by now but they had me and i actually had more problems at that point another problem is just trying to pass. trying to do my hair and try trying to do my makeup just for i trying to look just right to where people would not be on confortable because you can see when people identify you as being transgender. this isn't life. nothing has really changed i'm still struggling i was better off as i was

before the surgery before the hormone treatment so it was a bad point five years after the surgery they are about i started to have about changing back that's my student id. and so now it's women that i had a really big adam's apple had the brown ridge. pretty big. was the idea after i had third. when i was transitioning back to mail. in louisiana and the driver's license i had a lot of other pictures from that period but one day. when i was in my office looking at the picture and for me back during this period it seven eight years as being female it was so discouraging that i wasted so much of my life in

this particular period doing all of this. just in this state that i was in and i raised all of the pictures that i had with the computer and destroyed the pictures of me from that period to try to write that period of my life with god's help i went through the change and i went back to being male. so i went through the surgery and on the bad side of it was so much pain and so much discomfort and read a gratitude and surgery more and then me for. surgery that i had and then when he took the band into my stomach to show me the skin. i was almost horrified. to me it was growth but it was. in the paperwork to

me. when i had the surgery done initially he gave me the paperwork ok. i'm sixty years old there's no reason for me after a lifetime of being in transition to go and start living dressing as a man a name. there's there's there's no there's no. there's no benefit but there is a benefit and standing before an audience of young kids and college who are considering this. and saying to them ok i'm the real deal i started living when i as a woman when i was twenty i've lived forty years of my life i had breast augmentation i've had genital surgery i've had forty years of hormones all of it has not made my life any better it's never solved the problem you break your your left leg you go

into a doctor's office and under the transsexual rule of medical treatment they say this is your new normal and we're going to break your right leg too i think it's safe to say that when somebody has been cross stressed and affirmed physically abused and sexually abused that psychotherapy is the most needed therapy hormones and surgery. was already. a good. day. her daughter came over to my fourth all the shipper christian athletes. maybe and it was bigger than i first met her.

and that was in two thousand. and. three and i didn't know what that meant. so i asked one of my classmates what does that mean. a lot of my younger classmates so so she said it was a safe way for asking for her to meet up with somebody i shared with her my past and what had happened and how i was. and at that time she said ok let's be friends we had shared the same interests what i was saying we both like doing especially. now i can't i know he was he remembers one time we were high and. i was close to him when my head. and it was a point. when strange. that it was ok for me to

start. in a romantic wife and i did. eggs or. be into mainstream to tween reign trolling me. with me being surgically altered i. come to want to. we enjoy intimacy and that wonderful fresh air. it is beautiful. for a little bit more right. if you know. the green is starting to turn back to brown vs me pretty soon after a few months. i think i thought about it for not too long maybe a week or two and responded yes my older daughter said. she want they

want me to be happy. too i was going to change back but the big moment came when i was praying and the lord jesus appeared to me as a vision in the area so i could touch him just like i could touch anybody here and he came and reached down to me with his hands and picked me up and said you're now safe with me forever and it was at that moment that my life changed in a split second. leg of this i'm healthy. many of the people who've gone through this before me are dead. they're out there still struggling. with their

identity and i'm alive and well and healthy and married for twenty one years to my wife. restoration and i'm helping other people what other thing that's better in life when you're reaching out and helping other people with their life. a. little too pretty. to pretty tasty. i am so happy i am the way i am now. even though i have problems i have a choice to let my problems. more to long to see each day of a beautiful day and just to enjoy life. and his

hand in got from you and me baby in his hands he's got viewing me baby in his hands he's got the whole world and in pain and movement. and.

evening is just a short distance from detroit to pursue class as i live it here you can't feel confident. funny. lena. horne you need. a d. . young. beyond. we have many things in the smiles and this is it well for everyone and why some people's also take our things all the power just for themselves and to see how that . will help.

trump said many times that you know we got let's say advantages you know with moving the embassy to jerusalem there with the mission of jerusalem as our capital . he said that there would be something few things that israel will not like either so this is why i think the palestinians should come with opening the minds to the to the negotiations. to do the. big. stick.

i. say again. political. new president's. victory of a president. as. the country's. at least two hundred sixty people were killed in eight explosions in sri lanka with hundreds more injured. during the sunday celebrations. as the report finally published its conclusions.