welcome to redact of the night this is a comedy show where americans in america covering american news are called foreign agents last week donald trump gave a brave press conference where he boldly declared america leads the world in testing even out a gorgeous banner made to compute we're going to think many people don't know this but you put something on a banner that makes it true which is why i had a banner made that deadly cancer is not have to pay taxes despite having such a massive. banner worked like a charm half for the banner words like a charm i still don't have a massive duck but one can dream think of all the fun we have together so america

is not leading the world in coronavirus testing but we are leading the world in corona virus deaths does that count that we get a prize for that you know maybe a decoder ring or plastic spider to scare your friends. we're probably also close to leading the way in the level of unemployment increase during the pandemic so there's something else to be proud of right now we have to ask ourselves is there another way we could be doing things right now is there a better way yes of course paris let's take a look at countries that don't have corndog brains look at denmark denmark has had almost twice as much testing per capita as the united states and fewer than half as many deaths per capita that would mean around 40 or $50000.00 extra americans have died in the past few months because we have not dealt with this as well as denmark

that 169 eleventh's that could have been stopped if we hadn't behaved like idiots but death is not the only problem caused by this pandemic there's also the economic collapse which is bad for everyone unless you're a day trader betting that everything will be awful for those people right now is like mardi gras with fewer naked but an equal amount of pissing in the streets so us lost a staggering $20500000.00 jobs in april bringing the jobless rate to its highest level since the great depression 14.7 percent and even steam a new kitchen our treasury secretary who has carnal relations with a roll of silver dollars every night under a framed portrait of ronald reagan having carnal relations with the same roll of silver dollars even that guy says unemployment could get to 25 percent

one out of every 4 adults i did the math myself but luma yet in denmark salute different danes have kept their jobs denmark's unemployment rate is. it's hovering in the range of 4 to 5 percent you see denmark dealt with the whole employment thing different than we have fun fact that's their police force during the pandemic denmark paid their companies to keep employees on the payroll reimbursing up to 90 percent of wages of workers who otherwise would have been laid off denmark also helped hard hit companies pay fixed costs like rent on the condition that they suspend evidence don't buy back stock and don't use foreign havens to of aid taxes ah so rather than give trillions of dollars to big banks and the largest corporations in the world while

a 4th of the workforce was fired denmark paid companies to keep their employees and keep paying them do you see the difference starting pay for the humblest burger flipper at mcdonalds in denmark is about $22.00 an hour once various pay supplements are included the mcdonald's workers in denmark get 6 weeks of paid vacation a year life insurance a year's paid maternity leave and a pension plan and like all danes they enjoy universal medical insurance and paid sick leave 6 weeks of paid vacation oh years paid maternity leave you couldn't get that out of well america mcdonnell's do have a year of paid maternity leave but only if you get knocked up by the regional manager and then threaten to reveal the baby is his if he doesn't give you

a year off but that maternity plan is not available to every employee. but i don't just bring this up so we can all go wow being a worker in denmark sounds much better the larger point is that when workers are treated better when they have security and a higher quality of life it benefits everyone even the upper class this pandemic which will kill over all $100000.00 people in the united states would have been a far less devastating to everyone if workers had security and a solid safety net as the new york times said one reason denmark was more effective than the us in responding to this crisis is that no dana hesitated to seek treatment because of concerns about medical bills could you imagine that feeling sick in any way and thinking it's a good idea to go see a doctor we do i think in america all americans look at going to the doctor like

going to see a loan sharks in force or name tino when you're 6 months behind on your payments you know that no matter how you felt going in your leave and whether freshly broke a leg and a bill for more than you make in a decade. our system of punishing people for going to the doctor punishing people for working is the opposite of how a good society should be set up and now right now the essential workers have more power than ever before now is the time to demand human rights now is the time to demand to be like denmark so we don't have as much wobble wobble it's whack companies in washington d.c. the belly the bases the redactors and i.

well come on lee can now take the news from behind new numbers have come out showing how much people are suffering from this pandemic and it's even worse for black and hispanic families 61 percent of hispanic families say they or someone in their household lost a job or saw their pay cut because of the pandemic according to a pew report that compares to 44 percent of black workers and 38 percent of white workers. i've noticed that polls like this they they they they always make america come across as racist clearly the answer to solving our systemic racism is banning paulo's they're making us look bad this is why donald trump has led the charge against math in this country he doesn't care for it neither should you know math

means no poll numbers no poll numbers means no more racism trump has solved racism you're welcome people of america mainly the white people anyway with more citizens out of work than the great depression a lot of lower middle class americans are beginning to wonder where all this much talented bailout money is actually going because they know what i know now. but you keep hearing about it right the government or the government going to bail everyone 6 out the money is common don't worry the money is out there will see it soon but we keep hearing about it. i don't see any you know i feel like bailout dollars are like having threesomes everyone keeps talking about them but i've never seen it where where are these magical things. ok i did winds have a threesome but it lasted like 2 minutes and then someone said to someone else this would be a lot more fun if you weren't here sucking on my toes but i regret nothing less and

i've lived my life with no regrets. except not having regrets i kind of wish i did more crazy stuff that i later regretted so my only regret is having no regrets. anyway thanks to my investigative journalism i have found the answer to where all the bailout money and go and you're welcome and buy i've found the answer i mean economist alan brown has found the answer congress seems to be at war with the states he says only $150000000000.00 of it's nearly 3 trillion dollars coronavirus relief package a mere 5 percent has been allocated to the 50 states and they are not allowed to use it where they need it most to plug the holes in their budgets caused by the mandatory shutdown the rest of those trillions are going to wall street and the big banks well i'll be the rich several boarded the rich no one could

a thing that's common alan brown continues the banks have made out extremely well in this crisis the federal reserve has dropped interest rates to point to 5 percent eliminated reserve requirements and relaxed capital requirements banks can now borrow effectively for free now some people try to refute claims that banks are getting away with robbery by going it's just a loan they have to pay a baggage it's a loan but these people don't seem to understand that money is power here's an example my friend is broke and desperately needs money i then take out a loan of $100.00 and i tell him i'll give him the 100 if he dances with it in the air in his underwear on his head in front of a horrified seniors only church choir he does it i give him the money i then later pay back my loan to the bank technically i haven't gained

a dime right but i've humiliated my friend in such a way that he'll never recover from it it'll sit in his sub conscious for ever giving me a slight psychic edge over him at all times that's what the banks are doing now to main street. america kind of but with more crying and selling off of cherished keep sakes so that you don't have to start running tricks now let's get to a segment i'm calling stupid are some people making me look bad. we go to texas for this $122.00 protesters were demanding a rent freeze when they were arrested in austin last week they were involved in a slow driving protest in which they drove their cars at 5 miles per hour on the highway to draw attention to the much needed rent strike now i was unaware that driving slow was illegal i mean in that case my grandmother is

a supervillain she's been go and 9 mph in the fast lane since she 1st got her horse and buggy license one time it took us 2 years to get to the post office she's going back in time once so let me see if i have this right completely corrupt incompetent government has completely corrupt incompetent response to a global viral outbreak these completely corrupt incompetent people then failed to protect average hardworking americans fail to help them maintain some form of income and fail to help them deal with their living situations out of jasper ration do those hardworking americans beat up lawmakers to a bloody pulp now do they blow up a building or some other terrorist act now those average americans drive oh a little slower on the highway in a peaceful act of. a 30 then arrest the drivers while the completely

corrupt incompetent government people go back to their eyes wide shut naked lady parties on jeffrey had steam dial and use a dolphin cheers vertebra can't. anyway. these are some awesome protesters. and they're making me look back now i get. you guys some. they are not just standing up for themselves they're standing up for everyone out there who can pay that who can't pay their rent right now besides in the land of the free should it really be illegal to go slow. well then i guess. so escobar. moving on a new report is out showing the human cost of the climate crisis will hit harder

wider and sooner than previously believed according to a study that shows a $1000000000.00 people will either be displaced or forced to endure insufferable heat when they all mean the good kind of hot like patrick swayze and dirty dancing or jessica chaz dane and all of the things they mean the bad kind of hot like the sweat in donald trump's neck folds and don't try to avoid thinking about those stinky skin patches of voiding figure about climate change has gotten us nowhere it's time to rob all of humanity's faces in that putrid un camp dystopian gas flash that hangs all boreas play from trump's ranson jalouse you look at those you look and you think about what you've done bad bad humanity bad. the study continues every is currently home to a 3rd of the world's population will be as hot as the hottest parts of the sahara

desert within 50 years all 3rd of the world's population will either need to flee or turn into some sort of camel human hybrid storing water in their own gorged sheets and using the term. to refer to their actual toads call me crazy but making a 3rd of the world uninhabitable so that we can keep burning fossil fuels he's crazy so call me crazy but i'm calling you crazy as that feel or you'll junky. the i.p.c.c. estimates we have less than 10 years until the point of no return and i don't know if you know this but the point of no return. it's not pleasant i hear it gets very few return customers people like no thank you no the lines for the rides way too long and the bathroom smelled of death. we had to go to a quick break but if you don't have time to watch your back to the night every week

i mean come on you should but if you don't you can listen to the free podcast called moment of clarity it's free every week on i tunes stitcher and spotify and it has all of redacted tonight also you can go watch my standup comedy special for free taped in front of a live the audi live audience in los angeles remember live audiences it's a league camp american dot com all brought back a lot more. exposures but survival guide book states you just want to start simply. you sure don't get it. next year. good says a repatriations look at the rest the 70. bill of the separate press record. so

what we've got to do is identify the threats that we have it's crazy confrontation let it be an arms race is also a scary dramatic development the only really i'm going to resist i don't see how that strategy will be successful very critical time to sit down and talk. welcome back i'm still only camp wall congress refuses to even entertain medicare for all private health insurance companies are lobbying for bailout money from lawmakers who continue to enjoy gold plated government funded health care on our dime for more on this we go to our truth bomb and i let me go. it is so stressful reading the news in this country that i honestly can't go longer

than 5 minutes before needing to listen to another you tube guided meditation to call me down scuse me. i want you to close your eyes and imagine a country where there's no big 90 no global warming you can afford it subscription and there's universal health care. i'd like to imagine that last one but it does me plus we'll release the song of the south before that happens any time soon yet you'd think congress would be on board with some type of government funded health care considering our tax dollars fund their health care through the office of attending physician or a way headed by a dr brian monahan a man who will lose his job once trying figures out he's an obama appointee but the o.e.p. is budget much like the number of t.v. shows starring the year he expanded by 25 percent over the past decade and

according to the intercept the last congressional appropriations bill passed in december increased the budget for the office by an additional $70000.00 to nearly 3900000 dollars this year you're about that type of money being thrown around can't be great for americans living in states that have to scrounge for coronavirus test kits the same way we look under our couch for loose change that isn't attached to chewed or a dead mouse or chewed gum on a dead mouse even if your state does get tests they have to hide them from the federal government like you had a bad report card from your mom. but what's frustrating is that members of congress like senator marco rubio who earn 6 figures a year in a tweet like please stop spreading stupid rumors about martial law are only charted around $600.00 an annual fee which covers a small fraction of the cost for a way pee operations and what's even more frustrating than sen rubio also tweeting

i apologize for the typo i meant to type stupid rumors about marital law not martial law is that even of rubio or his colleagues the klein to pay the fee he's still entitled to treatment according 282009 a.b.c. news investigation of the a.p. in 2008240 members paid the annual fee though some sources say congressman who didn't pay the fee were rarely prevented from using o.a.p. services our lawmakers remain indifferent to medicare for all while getting letters from the private health insurance lobby asking for a bailout because as coronavirus survivors begin the task of identifying which organs they could sell in the black market to pay for their medical bills the massive lobbying group known as america's health insurance plans which represents insurance companies like cigna and anthem wrote a letter to congress on april 8th asking for assistance against the unknown's of

the pandemic like subsidies for employers and consumers but even cigna see it made it to the global investment bank u.b.s. that expensive coated 1000 medical claims were actually being offset by canceled elective surgeries and other procedures and a model developed by u.b.s. shows insurance companies will benefit if up to 14 percent of the u.s. population is infected with a covert one team that would be about 45000000 people compared with just over 1000000 confirmed infections as of late april so in reality ahab's asked from congress was just a way to make extra profit off your coughing fit. which is no less to range than a health insurance see where in the sure with the same phrase but that's no surprise given our healthcare model is profit driven and not people driven and while congress is enjoying world class government funded health care they need to

be doing more to ensure that everyone has access to health care doesn't depend on their employment status because there are a lot of jobless people right now and the longer they see this disparity the less effective these guided meditations will be oh there's a new one by the same you tube channel. close their eyes. take a deep breath. and imagine a world where radicals if you know actually knows how to spell optional. yeah i don't think that exists. reporting from outdoors this is natalie miguel redacted tonight thank you natalie now let's go to the stories we didn't have time to get to so we'll get to them now so we did have time i have correspondent andrew delay here with me hi andrew say anderson here so what do you got well the heroes act was introduced this week by nancy pelosi i know that i don't know if the name is

sandwich inspired or not but they've been doing a lot of meetings so i would i would hope so yeah house progressive want medicare expansion you know they know they're not going to get medicare for all but during the pandemic they want people who have who are unemployed who don't have health insurance to be able to get on medicare and that's what they've asked nancy pelosi who was told them should for the moon economists are telling her this thing's got to be big that we're talking trillions of dollars for this relief package she's saying that give me some big proposals and so they've said medicare let's put more people on medicare and she responded with how about cobra instead which is fundamentally a private plan for furloughed workers i mean she and her fellow many of vipers. yeah they're scared of cobra but i mean the problem with medicare for them is because that opens the door for medicare for all if you let some unemployed workers get on medicare now then the more people will start

thinking like. that i want to give a taste of the boys what they view as the poison fruit exactly so they have a give people a chance they might like it right and they're not gonna like cobra if they bought into that they don't want that permanently because they would still have to pay deductibles this would cover the premiums still going to have to pay deductibles millions off insurance entirely. so she shot that down she also shot down the pay check guarantee act which has been proposed by privilege paul which would cover employees at financially troubled companies and i have thought that i mean i understand that because. a big problem in america has been people getting paid. hence it's just right so the wrong people getting paid media workers right yeah there's a this one percent of them that are getting paid the right amount and everybody else there is a relief package though that is being proposed by legit politicians from different

countries 24 different countries that would help on an international scale developing countries and this would cancel the debt that is owed by 3rd world countries from the i.m.f. the world bank right now those debts are like frozen they're being generous enough to you know let people take care of the pandemic because traditionally what we want them has been doing for years is saddling these poor companies with poor countries with tons of debt so that they can't get out from under it and basically they're always poor and the people suffer and now they've put that on hold for a moment that is right for about a month about a month see if they can get their act together with what well they're all busy dying yeah we'll put it on hold right and the sort of the golden strait jacket as it's called that's like literally the term that these institutions use prevents countries from spending money on things like public health it always goes back to the debt repayment right they force them to have austerity writer to have

a death yet and what purple like a lot omar and bernie sanders are proposing and even german carbon in the u.k. is that we cancel the debt so they can you know start taking care of their own people and then we invest in reserve currency so these countries can invest in you actually use public spending in a way that benefits things like disease relieve there's going to. if you could actually happen it doesn't because. you were given so much hope in the room and. not happen if only one of those people had a chance of becoming president maybe this would but fitch ratings the rating agency has said that if the multilateral development banks if they do that their credit ratings are just going to you know fall so we can all know that well that's the most important thing is the credit rating right thank you so much energy i think you.

all right here are your headlines from the future in november you'll learn joe biden's brain parasite declares victory in presidential election many people are going to excited about that and on monday police nationwide having trouble finding enough people walking around to keep brutality in pig condition and finally a week from now strip clubs reopen in georgia dancers wear nothing but mask. that is our show but don't forget to grab the free our t. america app portable t.v. it's at portable dot tv slash download and my new political humor book is that link camp book at www dot cobb you can grab the paperback or the digital version right now camp book dot com until next time goodnight and good fighting.

the world is driven by dreamers shaped by phone personally those. who dares thinks. we dare to ask. tough and panama the flu virus to my fellow waiter both the food. bank itself movie theater on the plaza in this way got to dog so hard not to think of the mother disappeared the moment the walk like that i would and i don't miss the mark and if

. this is the only thing that we do is music because everybody fights used to lose weight. to. the floor look at the fee was out of this bill frist would have been called the event at the house of the payment on the. what i think is this is the fund that is a lot from food stuffs. when i came out from this hell i really could not even shield happy ever and sometime soon people were joking about something i would catch myself if i was even letting i feel guilty. and it's very probably difficult for a normal person to grasp and understand you live with that all your life i want to

puncture that we will live with it we did not receive help like now when our boys are coming here know from the wars in then finally they need to mend you know for the how do you call it depression when we didn't have to tell. the beatings were all a time bomb. and. they would take off you know your butt of your wearing and sometimes i would you know do it to a different way. or sometimes to do that. in a very good hour auschwitz your living. every moment. with . it was really like giving into hell.