as much about getting rid of 20 twentieth's celebrating the new year fireworks scaled down celebrations as the world becomes 2021 and the hope of a brighter 12 months ahead. as people spent much of the 2020 battling the coronavirus pandemic health care workers in nations around the world have emerged as unsung heroes. and we see people dying in the scene people come in and they call if we have to do it what we want but. here's what we have to do. and the campaigners urged the u.k. to read carefully when seeking the post of briggs a trade deal with the us highlighting the health risks of american meat products.

that is our headlines for this hour the demands of the pandemic have brought big changes to human relationships so if the code takes a closer look at that aspect of the year just passed next. welcome to use of the provision recently so that the current of our 2nd debate has not only be a health crisis study has a relationship to the test as well as i love the end of human relations and the post video around trying to show colleges and she scientific adviser for in the dating service. helen so great to have you on our program back again i mean this summer on. what times to be talking about humans and human

relationships because before that in that we used to head someone's back to show support compassion and we used to shake hands to create somebody and we used to offer a hand when you were actually helping someone literally with the los things from now on using is going to be a sign of careless less ignored as opposed to where they were before or will always touchy feely behavior becomes sort of an acceptable thing as a social norm. i think to some extent and for a period of time and mean once we get the you know. the antidote to the virus and maxine's i think that people will get get back to tension and kissing and and hugging each other you know we are mammals we are built to touch and kissed and hold each other and i do think that we are going to be more careful with people that we don't know. i think we're in an age of transparency in age in which you get

to know somebody very well before the touching starts and before the kissing starts and i think this is particularly. important for singles because you know when you're married to somebody. here you're going to get a virus or not get a virus but you're not moving out you're not leaving the prison but when you're dating when you're courting i think it's going to be the age of transparency and the day of the one night stand is now over at least for a while we only have about that display like you said it's going to come back the whole hugging and kissing it's just a question of which is i know how much sight i mean he can take to a year or kid to get that vaccine out that will actually properly test and tell actually to start using a says before that is a year or 2 the lifetime right physical contact because it's part of our nature like your say says that

a vital non-verbal means of communication and tedious stroking triggers and dorf a system in our brain is all those things will be excluded from our social habits for that time for our kids where really getting those and her friends and asa toxins from. you now you can fall madly in love with somebody who you've never met in person and you can feel feelings of deep attachment when somebody over the internet says something that's really in dearie and you can even fall in love with somebody without ever touching them in. i mean these are basic brain systems and they just live within a set and you know suddenly you read a good poem and you can still you know start to cry. you can read an e-mail that makes you mad instantly the brain circuitry for anger becomes active and you can certainly be talking to somebody and they can tell you how much they love you or that they are dying to kiss you or hold you and you can begin to feel that ceiling of deep attachment so these are basic brains just as they can be really triggered

almost at any time now it's better to do the honey no question about it and when you have sex with somebody with orgasm there's a real side of oxytocin and days of present and you can feel theories of deep attachment but you can feel all those feelings just are getting a beautiful birthday card from somebody who loves you know these brain systems are not going to die just because we've got a virus they're very primitive you know we didn't have 3 distinctly different brain systems for mating and reproduction sex drive a series of intense romantic love and feelings of deep attachment and any one of them can be triggered even over the internet even through face time so when you say one night stand your eyes over for an hour and how it will be reevaluating physical contact will become a more intimate form of international or an excuse if it isn't yes i definitely think so it what's interesting now is we're seeing the rise of the whole new stage

in the courtship process. you know prior to this pandemic people met on the internet and then they went out and met in person and now during this lot down they've met on the internet and then spent hours on the internet you know doing video chatting there on face time resume or sky. and they're getting to know somebody before the kids even starts and i do think that this new stage of courting . on the internet will remain after the pandemic subsides simply because it's logical you know in the old days and they just before the pandemic when you went out and met somebody for the 1st time you know there's always this one concert will sing am i going to kiss or should i kiss and do a whole has it's gone it's off the table when you're courting on the internet with video chatting. you know sex is not involved money is also not involved you don't

have to decide you know do we go to a stance a restaurant do we have a fancy drink or do we go to a coffee bar and spend 20 minutes and very little money monies of the table and sexes are the table and what is on the table is self disclosure what people are doing much more during this pandemic is having conversations with each other sachs and in terms of singles they're doing much more courting on the internet so by the time they get to the 1st date they will have already done a lot of self disclosure which builds into missing they were already know that they want to meet this person and that they want to kiss is person that they dare crowds that present because they've had this transparency already so we're going to see fewer 1st dates but they're going to be much more meaningful 1st dates. and. and i think the kitchen is going to start very rapidly because these people have already gotten to know each other so i think among people who really know each

other the transparency is occurring they're talking about where they've been who live past and they feel safe themselves and i think there's going to be just as much intimacy between people who really know each other and have good conversations before the kissing starts. what you're saying and describing right now it seems like that they online video sort of romancing that we got to see to a competitor to say to this last 3 months could actually result in to changing completely that harry down of dating legit before a leg you know you think twice i want to see this person not a good offense rests on our non-issue the kids are not and now you lock down your house for 2 to 3 months so you see this person almost every day on the radio on this ng and sort of new confession like psychotherapy where you confess and have a need to tell them everything about you and they do the same thing i mean they all did level of openness about oneself has never been higher to to my perception

because that's been speaking to people nearly oh my god this is huge every dating app right now has a video because it has become the biggest thing advertising lately on the radio with the other person and so hostile because if you want to end it ages enough to stop it and then he account so we're going to miss the we're going to kiss your frogs by the time you go out meet somebody in person you're going to know that you know all this stuff transparency has occurred you've created the intimacy with that person and now you know i'd like to go to a stance here or just spend more money on that drink and just of his unity because you know we're going to just you're frogs and i do think i think you're absolutely correct that this is a new stage in dating dating courtship on the internet before you meet in person and in many respects removing starwood to the past i mean in a century ago people do

a lot of talking before they ever actually went out on the date so it's slowing down the court ship process and i think that's going down which is actually very healthy because all of my data show that the longer you court and the later you read. more likely you are to remain together so we may even be seeing more stability in in our partnerships but you know courtship is always been changing you are suggesting that this is a big change it is it's a huge change but you know to think about when the automobile change and in the united states by the late 1940 s. or early 1950 s. a lot of people were able to afford. a car and what did they get that i really didn't bedroom i mean motown you know in me it changed courtship the automobile the birth control pill changed courtship actually going way back several 1000 years ago when we invented the plow that changed courtship so critic is always going to

change and what's interesting about this new twist dating on the internet video chats it's actually going to change crunches i think in a very productive way right off. the hard. scientific advisor for the last couple days. laughs and they are all human relations. some people would associate optimism with risky behavior because they don't want to and like the trolls they don't want to invite the state they don't want to invite

they see out mob they don't want to live by all kinds of trouble that comes with optimistic thinking throughout history optimists have been punished it could be galileo it could be copernicus it could be einstein it could be all sorts of big steve jobs and they were punished for their optimism but now there is no punishment for relentless optimism. an entire village in alaska has had to move if another country threaten the wife of an american. we do everything in our power to protect a. wanted one escaping climate change poses the same threat right now alaska does seem some of the fastest coastal erosion in the world we lost about 35 feet. 35 feet of ground in just about 3 months while we were measuring.

is fast and that means the river is 35 closer than how the woman was or i don't think we were part of her thirst for. pain has changed american lives but pharmaceutical companies have a miraculous solution. based drugs talk to people who are chronic pain patients and believe that they're ok prescription is working for them on the remedy be certain to. price at the. grocery dependency and addiction to opiates to long term use that really isn't scientifically justified and i'll study actually suggested to the. long term effects might not just be absence of benefit but actually that they may because of the long term.

and we're back with helen fisher a full body sentient scientific advisor for the nasa called a serious talk about relationships helen. it's funny you say that courtship before was about you know taking your time getting to know each other and talking to each other and what have you take to court a stable relationship gets that there is the thing that leads me to the thought that that the relationship that will start during the current a virus or coming out of the current hour or so much more stable than the ones that

we've seen before so in a way we sort of like reminding him going back to basics that this is a classic sad story about a shapley all dating in the future and he's down through services like real life match home and when the protagonists actually finally loses all hope with them he resorts to he's nash maker chaperone auntie to find him a match. and say so finally with a d. id you feel like people may be getting tired of the 21st century ways of finding romance in the old school courtship i say actually coming back absolutely and we can see in front of our faces we're going to have fewer dates because we're going to meet people on the internet and we're going to get rid of the ones that don't work on the internet before we meet in person and those 1st dates are going to be much more meaningful. yes i think it. i think is going to be a lot less you know one night stands i think we still will have friends with benefits i meant as a people. this was i call it slow love and i've written

a lot about it recently the mere fact that the question is really slowing down i mean before the internet before the pandemic. over 70 percent are single started to courtship just as just friends they just friends and talking to this prison is just and then moving into friends with benefits you know you learn a lot between the sheets not just hasn't been to make love but you know whether they're kind whether they can listen with a sympathetic whether they've got a sense of humor whether they can take any instructions. between the sheets about something so they start out as just friends and move into friends with benefits and and then they slowly tell. friends and sammy about this new person and they slowly move in together and later they wed i mean we're marriage used to be the beginning of a partnership now it's the finale the whole a whole course of process is slowing down and what this pandemic has done is slow

it down some more but you know it's very interesting when you are mentioned something recently. any kind of catastrophe maces take a look at who we are what we've got what we don't have what we need and i do think that more and more people are going to get serious partnership at a younger age. they're very very careful with stillness courtships going to slow down and i think they're going to want to know every single thing about somebody before they marry and i think they're going to take a long time understand who somebody is and as i mentioned that you know all of the data show that the longer the courtship is the later you marry the more likely you are to stay together search you know we have a pandemic that's creating chaos in every other part of our life but in this particular single courtship romance it is it may be a bit of a guest. strickly l.c.d.

has is so chaotic and around us and certainly in most unbearable thing for a human mind that you need to look for sensibility anywhere you can and then maybe the relationship and courtship is that stronghold where you can make it stable and everything around you is falling apart and the world as you knew it doesn't exist anymore at least have this a stable relationship and you can hold on to that and not crazy to think that could be also part of it absolutely i mean let's not forget the fact that i mean i think it also hinted at this before i think it's creating a great sense of appreciation for the basics and i also do think it's going to be various people who break up after this is over because you know anything having to wait i mean the the amount of divorces are unprecedented i mean on one hand you're saying going to get more marriage is an endemic terror but then as we see people

are divorcing krosnick. amounts is that what's interesting is you know it came over in new york about hanun about a serious soaring divorce rate in in in china but what they didn't see is is probably also a story marriage rate due and it's sorry in amount of people who really realize oh he is still oh she is the one we've now been stuck in a you know in one room for 3 months and we were able to get along and cyber issues and so i wasn't sure whether i should marry him or her whether i should make a long term partnership of some kind and now i think i can so it's interesting our newest oh he's talking about the story in divorce rates but not talking about what is probably equally true this is because we don't have the numbers there 7 are because we're too to get the ratings is very sad about divorces like it's very sad about. death than love well you're

a journalist and so i think your guess is better than mine but. my guess is that my educated guess is that the press really does wear papers and the bad news and a good dose. of fact my boyfriend just wrote a book called the power of bad and how you know we do try to sell the bad and see the bad insect the brain is very well built remembers a bad there's a huge brain region called negativity and we tend to remember the bad image for millions years in these little had it together in groups nice to remember who your friends were but if you didn't remember who your enemies were you could die so the brain is very well built to remember the bad and i do think i newspaper sort of almost naturally tell you about the divorce rate and maybe they don't collect much data about the marriage rate either and also it's much more than just marriage i mean you could collect data in a minute people get married right after. right after a pandemic but i don't know if we can ever collect data on how many people decide

ok now we're going to live together ok now we're going to start a relationship ok now we've been able to be together since 3 months i think we can continue at it because there's no date on it as not being corrected but i know the brain you know i think you know i i and my colleagues have put over 100 people into a brain scanner to study the brain circuitry of romantic love and we're built to love we were able to live in a lot of people who are divorced a vast majority will find a new love and we're stable love and do it all over again so just and it is making all of us. what we need what we don't have and drive us to making the kinds of partnerships that will be more stable i love what you're saying than an old fashioned adelaide this whole old fashioned corti have taken it seriously getting to know each other and all that the lady said a phenomena of our friends with benefits is not a completely disappear

a we certainly have. mostly men of course who are afraid of serious relationship you know men men tend to be serial daters. well i think to disagree actually i think a lot of people think that you know i have studied law for over 40 years now and i'm now chief science advisor to match dot com and i've been there for 15 years collecting scientific data and every year i do this study called singles in america we do not poll the match members as not it was a match membership is a national representative sample of singles based on the u.s. census and as it turns out year after year men fall in love faster than women they fall off and then women when they meet somebody that they are in love with they they want to introduce that person to friends and family sooner it's basic mate guarding. when they get into a real partnership men have more intimate conversations with their wives or

girlfriends than women do with their husbands or boyfriends because women have their intimate conversations with their girlfriends and men are to have to as more likely to kill themselves when relationship is over so i've been trying to tell the world and maybe this is my opportunity that men actually were fragile sex when it comes to romance and when i put men into the brain scanner the way i do with women just same and even gay people frankly basis is in brain systems or brain systems like the sears system or the anger system the brain systems for a minute but it's actually just reading cat in lies way below your cortex where you do your thinking way below the. factories in the middle of the head there are straight the most it's a basic drive and it's a basic drive to find life's greatest prize which is a mating partner and then probably fall in love faster than women because men are more visual and men have a little less to lose i mean a woman is going to have that baby and you know then 9 months and for millions of

years it was dangerous hard to asian delivering a child is very dangerous and in every culture on earth women spend more time you know raising a child and. the age of sort now men spend their lives for millions of years going and hunting dangerous animals so they can see that sound so we are a pair bonding species and men have for millions of years taken the responsibility of being a good father and a good husband what's interesting right now is you know people are constantly talking to me about oh you know technology is changing love technology is changing everything well technology is just enabling us to do the same old thing i mean all these dating sites are is introducing sites and all they do is introduce you the only real louder of them is your own brain you gotta get on the video chatting or meet him in person just to wrap this amazing insight into the world of dating today do you think this denecke could be also a great life where man and woman can come clean in terms of who they really are.

and sort of starting to nations you based on that rather that prototype of how women are measured me dealing with this question give it a little extra push the whole coronavirus thing i think that extra push is very realistic sophie. very real and i think it will continue i think that after this pandemic has subsided and people can then go out and meet in person i think they will still do the video chatting before him because they don't have to deal with the money they don't have to do with their sex they can get to know the person and they can get rid of what they don't want before they go out so i think 1st days are going to be much more meaningful i think that people will come together after some disclosure after transparency has begun and by the way i'm crazy about millennial so i don't know how old you are but i'm just crazy about it so young these days they want transparency even before this pandemic started day

want transparency and in fact they're leading the way in terms of doing the video chat and getting to know somebody before they settle down. as a matter of fact 40 percent are single today and even more millennial want self acceptance before they cast feelings they want to put one 3rd of the want to get their finances in order and their career or before they catch feelings yonder they are very serious everybody thinks oh they're just sleeping around. everybody's always been sleeping around us in a group there but but the bottom line is that they want i love this term that they've invented an. undefined relationship you know the young want transparency they want to know where this is headed and their date they might have their one night stand that they're going to get rid of what they don't want rapidly and they're putting the sounds together they're courting very slowly

this pandemic is making them be even more careful they will continue to be careful and they may i'm sure in at least a decade i don't know a generation more solid partnerships like this no i like what you say my sister of yours and i think he and i feel happy for her after his heart. i think he's on the right path to rihanna right thank you so much for this wonderful a satisfying pleasure talking to you i hope we get to tell medo your side to our license from what we just came true and what we've been wondering. the following and so i'll be glad to show night and your nice tell me what you discovered to absolutely hate his cell life. thank you.

the be. one else chose seemed wrong. but old roles just don't hold. the old yet to shape out these days to come out again and in gaining strength because betrayal. when so many find themselves worlds apart we choose to look for common ground. this is not like. it's not a money spinner but it is expensive. and it's dangerous. this is really skewed more.

than the new brakes it's a. grip some. americans love by and homed. this was a fundamental part of how our political leadership and our country at large understood the bargain you get a hoe and then you know rebel right as the things you don't revolt if you have a stake in the system. and be really interesting to dial it back and think about the longer deeper history l.a.

housings men in the united states not just. question of the american dream that the bigger question if you dream is and for. folks next up on that us miller plus one a jack of all trades mario lopez will be here believe it or not they're doing more saved by the bells on the peacock network. and what to see what modern lopez put out or maybe his character ac slater possibly. ac d.c. slick now getting very low next dennis miller plus why. a focused welcome to dennis miller plus one and the way you know the mug.