hey folks coming up on dennis miller plus one do you need a life coach. this guy's the state of the are not quite dr phil i think dr phil's yoda but he's only one mike bear and you see him a lot like dr phil and you know phil's lead them on he thinks the world of them the new book out called one decision the 1st step to a better life your 1st step to a better life stick around for dennis miller plus one. day folks welcome to dennis miller plus one today's guest is mike baer mike is a life development coach new york times bestselling author will develop real life he's best known for his books best self and be your best self also the founder and

c.e.o. of cast centers for treatment of mental health and addiction and he's been a coach to young celebrities like. demi oh it's funny i always get screwed up now because demi moore at one point went from being demi to demi but i think a lot of thought it was stated demi demi lovato and joe jonas who seems like a pretty good cat i've seen like i talk a few times mike has a new book out called one decision the 1st step to a better life what's up. amy and thanks for having me i'm on. well nice to have you here i was watching the thing about. there's a special coming up on the bee gees on h.b.o. as part of the promo they show the one jonas brother coming off talking about how obviously it's a blessing obviously it has its own set of rights here big famous of big famous with their siblings and he just seem like a good cat i'm surprised at what point did he. come to you for some life coaching

because he seems like those jonas kids seem reasonably together. well i don't even know how people end up with me with life coaching because half the time i feel like they're in a better spot that me but somehow i. made it. put some. incredible they are like you in the 1st minute because that's how i feel subsidize what people ask me if i say go brother if you only know because of stuff or i'm in the dark like get a bloody kick in my sheds yeah i mean i started off doing crises for like i don't i mean i live in l.a. i didn't since 3 years and all of a sudden and because the last scene to us and have pretty good success people would call me in for crises so like you know i work would be our forums or some of these different families and then it really transitioned all this and i found myself in pop music. and then it went from like addiction psychiatric

to bands breaking up people cheating in there are some people who want to fire teams people who don't want to go on stage anymore studios that had an actor who had a incident so it just kind of kept evolving i mean the guys are just brothers i met . when they were going through their break up so it was just kind of like how to reinvent all their lives and careers and so that that's how i met joe the media made it seem like he was a drug addict but he's not i mean he's a really good guy and. you know i think i think that's the thing is like with coaching or mentorship we all love are teachable like we can learn from other people and grow and that's just kind of. all the sudden i found myself doing a lot of that and i got sick of doing that so i started going to iraq alone like

anyone would do and i went out refugees and i tried thought i would open up mental health clinics and then i got back and realized that americans don't have a strong pull towards kurdistan like i do so it was hard to get people to really rally behind me to make donations so then all of a sudden i was like why don't i become the brand like why can't i be the town and within a week i met dr phil and it's kind of like the universe decided and all of a sudden 2 years ago right he asked me to go on an episode and then i went on 40 opposite ends in a she's kind of taken off you know so. with a long twist right i think it they say in the feel good film business he's paying it forward because i think oprah made him a made man and i think he's passing it on not surprised to hear that americans are

kurds standoffish is how i refer to it as i often think that we in this country have so much compared to the rest of the world the one i hear happy hour problems half of the therapeutics and half of the courtesies i get the other people are just mildly nodding and then moving on because there are times when you're listening to somebody go on a but you know a problem that you're just a gas has hung them up that much because you're in sub-saharan africa sharing a model whole with the will to be sasha you've got problems we have piquancy the way i look at it you know like people would say oh my god i couldn't see my family very covert it's like how about if your dad was lined up and killed by isis and you're my hometown daughter your daughter son we might like everything their perspective but you're right i mean i think i think. but that's like there's like victim culture in general is such

a trap i think i've noticed with working with certain people they're committed to knowledge you have been a victim and you just keep trying to redirect you know all over the place i try to avoid working with people like that. because then all this and i just become the target you know yeah i think i find that we are in an odd way addicted to agony talk until i've got air mike's a life development coach new york times bestselling author you've seen it many times i just for ya dr phil listen do you feel you'd be as adept at your gig if you hadn't stepped in you know i mean that does anybody really turn out to be. yoda or and obi wan kenobi helping other people if they hadn't bumped up against their travail somewhere along the way. i think suffering helps a lot i mean i think. i think hating yourself makes you.

be able to connect with someone who really doesn't like themselves so i mean i think some of that i mean you're taught in school when you become a counselor that your story doesn't matter that you don't divulge she much about yourself. which is so different than being more in the public eye where like you're perceived as the post different things here i am i even talking about but i would say like yeah if you're question i think it helps if you've been through it and i think that you can help if you've been through it and if you don't think that your ways you know why. did you what got. you can share if you want are not if you want how did you go off the path was it an addiction and was a substance in this house or i know yeah like i mean i and in the end it was crystal meth. and that was kind of like we don't call it you know you when you stay up or we can. you start seeing things that are real. and you're really

convince the real you know i dropped out of college i went to order my with about football. but i started it at a young age just just wasn't comfortable in my skin and i didn't know why. maybe the family grew up in but i'm at the same time it's a blessing when you get together side because in your. able to help people you know so. you know it's a funny you would say that because when i graduated high school my favorite my favorite college play you were a hoop player was charlie yelverton for the fort and see how did i ever saw that carrot's picture on the wall back then but he was he was a groovy guard up at the for the fordham flashes i believe that was so funny that you went there to play hoops now listen to take a break early year we usually try to split the segments but i can tell we're having some video problems with our friend mike bear we're going to come back after the break and hopefully we won't have

a frozen screen his best known for his books best self be your best self and he's got a new book called one decision the 1st step to a better life right back after the break dennis miller plus one with mike there. the world is driven by dreamers shaped by the curse of those great. military thinks. we dare to ask.

because i was going on the phone line smoke why don't they come in for the meeting mark them up on the limb for appointments to november general so customs get a. lot of money but ultimately they just rather get i think. she will lose it was you make them. more if you are your friend. general but from the sun know my last book you go to the british course there's been a member of the. i mean the god the lord and of course that don't want any of the government. to.

take. my folks welcome back to mr miller plus one who are joined by the genial bloke that is life coach mike. where mike is a best selling new york times author he's life development coach best known for his books best self and be your best self also the founder and c.e.o. of cast centers at c.s.t. centers for treatment of mental health an addiction he's going to coach to young celebrities like the jonas brothers ana ana but not a lighter issue but certainly is sound like some sort of familial disbanded disbanding that he was able to orchestrate and then there's that young girl who seems to have it all the meal of otto who i never really knew my her story and then i saw her i i wonder she wrote that song you know i saw the same

performance everybody else did and i thought my god what a voice what a what a depth of perception and it's hard to believe that somebody who is that gifted it will just show you the vagaries of life man you can still get shit hammered right oh yeah i mean to a community and so. many more. where we're going to talk about the coach in the coach's new book one decision the 1st step to a better life i get the title explain the promise coach yeah so i. so i i i believe that we're all just one to one decision away from. improving our lives with whatever we want to improve and that the 1st step is kind of viewing the problem and seen it either through a lens of it being an offical or an opportunity so kind of like rose colored glasses would be ok just you would have an opportunity but rose colored glasses

don't tell you to make a decision it just says i'll look at it differently so this is really focused on making a decision from a point of view of viewing as an opportunity and then letting go of the outcome so i create something called the poor rose which is optical opportunity one decision outcome is a really simple formula for anyone who has a problem and. i think that it works i mean i travel the world doing these this type of work i create something called the force there's a negative force in a postulate when you forget of the 4 scouts i want to go back to work for hours before we get to the force because we breeze through them in a jargon way i'd like to take a problem you set one up by pathetic and then navigate through the 4 of us and show how they can bring you out on the other side so set up a hypothetical problem 1st well i mean sometimes it's real when there's real

problems of the producer listening and as a problem or anyone has done it's like really easy but i can i put that a call it if you want. like to see what i'd like to see how the 4 hours work yes let's say somebody is. thrown a problem at me any problem. a lack of imagination ok so my problem is i can't imagine so therefore i'm struggling or suffering or like what why is that a problem. writers block ok so writers block the obstacle as i need to write because that debt minds this isn't going to be great there's a story right so 1st you want to list out whatever the story is those are the obstacles oh my god it's not that great people aren't going to receive it well.

i have a deadline whatever it is every single detail what the obstacles that has taken a look at the opportunity that is behind those obstacles so let's say it's. a. i have a deadline and this isn't going to be great so it could be that in that there's an opportunity to potentially bring in a collaborator the opportunity could be calling the director in a general person you're working with like the opportunity could be using that energy or creative block i'm talking about a character who's just stuck in his life and navigating the experience through that character likes there's some opportunity even in this idea of feeling stuck for everyone it's different. so when somebody looks at it differently they're going to make a decision their problem so if somebody viewing it as oh my god this deadline is

coming up this is crap i'm not going be able do it the one decision they may maybe stress maybe lack of sleep maybe. complaining maybe being themselves like they're not really doing anything right they're just kind of stuff if someone saying hey this is not particularly that one decision may be. calling someone that really inspires you and connecting with it could be trained on you the opportunities that are on that track or music from the eighty's or ninety's or whatever whatever you like that always gets your juices going the opportunity could be. putting that creative energy a feeling stock like is that into the character so it's really you make a decision based on it being an opportunity the outcome is going to be significantly different if you're making a decision from the opportunity because in this scenario the one decision that

would be made with feeling stuck there's no solution. just kind of time will go by and so what i've found is everyone authentically has resources inside of insults that they don't realize they have and once they realize that they can make decisions towards it was a little too conceptual about not just ask a basic question and you gave me a basic answer i define proximity to the abyss as a great motivator you know people are always talking about stress in life and how i some people it seems like they're in the good the boy in the bubble they want to go through their life like life is a series of stresses stresses managed and i have found in my career whenever i had my own what was the old name for heels when you're sure they call them catspaws whatever i had backed up in my cat's paws for adding over the vets i tended to get really motivated less y.d.

really perceptive and better of what we had right now because i backed up this far as i can so i sometimes think i would say stress is under the rubric of the many of those i would say stress can be its own opportunity if you don't treat it like a completely a devastated by the rather great motivator. yeah or the. some people do really well with like ok i got to pay this out in a day or $2.00 whereas they're not going to do it if it's a month or 2. when you 1st went on to i'm trying to think for a young cat in your gig one of the great thrills must have been getting on with dr phil now when you 1st go to go on are you making so much of it the chair rendering our self sometimes that's another problem i have a life i think you have to play it cool with yourself so you have to just go and say well i've got to do this i can't make more of that than it is and how do your

parents work with their good mantra 40 appearances how you work and now why at the 1st i viewed each episode as it could be my last so i tried to get the mindset being grateful for it i didn't expect to be on more than a few times because that's typically how much experts were on. dr phil was so generous you lay flew me to dallas got me my book each and wrote the foreword of the 1st book went through notes with me taught me how to. talk about the book tommy i mean he's like been the best mentor ever for me and. i'm just grateful like i did i think it's interesting because sometimes like we think we have to have a vision for something in order to do it and then really have a vision like i never thought it would be paired up with dr phil and pete cuttin such a wide range of people in the moment on

a program like that but. it's i try to you know i'm actually going to talk to dr phil when i see oprah see him in a week or 2 when i found that recently i've struggled a little bit with like. now that i've done that and you've been doing this for years you could coach me on this but it's once you start getting people wanting you to speak in when you do this and that it's hard sometimes we gets a little bit addictive like the high the intensity of how great things are going and i want to get back on a taco and be like our product back to just thinking it's about this one episode and nothing else matters. i mean i'm sure you've gone through so many cycles of this trade. you know what i would say this i wouldn't trust fame i wouldn't trust celebrity. i would trust the fact that you seem to have some ability and i'm

sure dr phil studies show this trust me he's not avignon more than a few times if it doesn't show that he you're making a dent with some people what you can always trust that somewhere along the way you're vulnerabilities your church valves your area edition the way you carry yourself has allowed you to make a dent on people that's its own blessing now attendant to that miss world once you make a dent on people you can almost pick and choose the world is your oyster that's the part that if you spent too much time on that and not enough time on wrecking a dent on people you won't be making a dent on people anymore so all that think about it gets addicting you know why because you're an addict you know that than an attic nearly. so i don't miss nor are you about the problems brother you know all i know it was at some point after that speech is done after you've made a legit impact the best thing is probably i've ever dean martin your stories go

back to our room and read zane grey was terrence and let the world make up what you know what a rat factory was some for you got to get back to just mike you know i mean there's a coach by people calling you and if you buy into that so much brother you're going to have to call a mike guy somewhere down the road and ask him to do you know you're so you're so right because it would fast you know there's nothing 8 in my opinion there's nothing better than helping someone slight turn on like to me that's like. i love light and i love better not to wait out someone's life turn on and whenever i'm staying focused on that it works out you can use it when you suddenly get focused on the high of it all you're right you know that's when you can argue are already coached me in your answer to form you close a good thing you know there's those big there's the big curl off the north shore and then there's a nice endless summer way i try to treat it all like an endless summer way you get

up easy and you could ride it for 30 minutes that would be my advice to a life coach as if i should tell you ellison brother get get the people out there let's talk about we got people in storms and their life once again we're talking to a life coach you've seen a many times doc felt like there that a new book out called one decision the 1st step to a better like we've broken the book that we did the for us oh i cut him off i'm not rudely i want to die but for us tell me about the force again before we move on you're the 4th is the driver behind the optic at which we look at it as an obstacle or an opportunity so i love an acronym so the negative force is when we fortune tell we overgeneralize rigid thinking confused purpose and emotional reasoning that's when feelings aren't facts we can't overgeneralize humans like is everyone's like this we can't predict the future you know it's all

the things right that's the negative force that's what gets in our way of growing up were going to make a decision the positive force is fact finding objective thinking relax thinking clarify purpose and evidence peace reasoning and it's really about the facts it's about looking at what's in the moment and it's just really important before we start to make for some people they would consider a big decisions is that we're making sure we're looking at through a lens as it being an opportunity if you feel that. very meek decisions that are meant. it's funny as you delineated that the force concept it sounds a lot like objectivism to me i've always been a 9 rand akhil i mean some of it got crazy when she would talk about in the part of a atlas shrugged where people on a train where she reverse engineer is why they get killed the train wreck that's all crazy to me but the object of side of it they had their reasoning side of it

the not basing everything on emotion side of it i'm hardly a bloodless man but i agree you got to take a breath and look at it from the ether and go what the hell is going on here 1st before i decide whether i should cry or laugh at this i think you should be a moment where you catch your breath yeah sure we certainly know other people or do something we don't we regret so that obviously i don't want it to i know your life coach and i want to put you in the guise of a 911 operator right now but there are people out there right now especially with this thing which has turned us all inward and sometimes when you're forced in word in an allegorical sense inside your house if the look inward a lot of people are spoke right now a lot of people are on the ledge right now weirded out maybe found the truth or a secret about themselves they failed to acknowledge and now it's right there in their face because the rest of the world isn't in their face on a day to day basis give me 3 things somebody who's right now in the white water in

the churn can do once they recognize they've got a problem with 3 things do you think are pivotal to somebody who's in the fight right now. well i mean i'm i'm i'm a free group every tuesday so anyone can come do it it's a 5 pm i am one. different speaker every week it's free and another free food and well has majority of stuff i really enjoy i do for free so you know that i have a bunch of resources available there's no up sell there's no like i'm going to make your money and save your life and since i love doing so people can go to my website coach might bear and in terms of what people can do right now. community is what causes lack of community is where a lot of people struggle so during the scope it period of life i connect more with the person who's all alone. and alone with their own thoughts and. i

me just all say like we sent one suicidal ideations i cry in a month all right the treatments are on now we get set right so it's a real thing well yeah and community is number one it's like you gotta figure out a community community of people who feel the same way there's a free so court groups resources but want to get a community you can also get someone to mentor most communities have mentors and so part of like the d.n.a. of a community now look i'm not a big follower in general i you know know a lot know a lot of people are like i don't like groups or i don't like doing this but the reality is we all need it's clear we need a community issue that is what it said. now brother i'm alone or i'm alone or whole life that's what i got in the comedy but i find that does not mean i dig being alone. for it you've got to open yourself up to the fellowship of men think about every serious moment you've had your life folks and what eventually began the

trio's you was let out of your head out your mouth and onto the ear of another human being at some point that would be the best advice like you can't believe the difference between in here shoot it out here out here then you commence a healing long as stays in here you're not even off the launch pad all right we've dug our time with my bare he's like i said a life development coach new york times best selling author and the new book is one decision the 1st step to a better life and we appreciate your time today coach hope to see it done the wrote . me appreciate. it brother. that's my grammar this been dennis miller plus one. it.

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