go hide in the house and just. sob uncontrollably it's really really hard to see you got to a point were false l refused to consume any more drugs and that kind of came to a head several months ago. and that's why right now we're separated the breaking point for me to say about there was there was a couple of things of the mindset that it's just going to take time and there's nothing that you can do you know here's what the options that i see they are mostly medical based and he absolutely refused to explain my entire background my psychiatrist said look i took pride in being in the navy i took pride in surviving and making it through mighty high hopes to do good things for the navy and for the country and now i don't know who i am and the only thing that's happened between then and now is i've been exposed to a series of very strong psychiatric medications. and the answer after 20 minutes

was well i can give you a prescription for cymbalta. it's when i did move out and he called me and said that he was standing in a basement next to a noose and i said and what's your safety plan and. he said to call you and i said see if you plan to hang up and call 911. and. having to tell him that. it feels callous to me when you're going through withdrawal psychiatric drugs the best thing is to kind of get back. off that ledge. and just say dave just give yours give yourself more time. give yourself more time continue to fight for it. you know and some day you know you regain a sense of normalcy in your day to day life.

typically we find that the withdrawal phenomenon is the opposite of whatever the drug does if the intention of the drug is to help somebody be more relaxed or help them fall asleep then when they're experiencing withdrawal what they will experience is anxiety in restlessness and insomnia they may even get so bad that they you know are profoundly depressed and consider suicide the withdrawal symptoms can often be much worse than the original problems the person came with and the withdrawal is very very difficult sometimes or quite dangerous may take months or years to really be accomplished people jumping out of their skin feeling terrific anxiety having all sorts of physiological symptoms that are difficult to bear people cannot stop this medicine except in the slowest possible way for a very gradual reduction in those. in the.

cell this hell of how my pills. i'm doing here a 10 percent taper so take the pill. a way it. so whole pill had 2 milligrams weighs 0.15. 910 percent and that you don't want to take off too much because even to waste the pills. so it's almost there actually that's 10 percent in the 1st time i tapered i didn't have my scale as yet so i was just eyeballing because i was determined to get off your body will tell you if your hand in the cuts based on symptoms so it took me a while to get from 2 to 1.6 was 1.64 that's all i could go. to this group has are most. 2300 members. people

just post stuff how's everyone doing today and see i'm in a strange window today updos for almost 2 days of doses when you're at a certain dose and the symptoms get really bad so you go back to the original dose where you weren't feeling so bad everyone has a unique stuff running through you know 2 persons are like i am brain sap i have tremors i had severe night sweats i have a symptom where it feels like things are crawling inside my body just movin and i came across this image and i was like wow that's exactly how as exactly how it is nobody understands this and if you don't have support you will lose yourself i have been a part of these groups since august of last year and since august of last year we lost 3 people to suicide in my support groups. 3

we lost a 50 something year old woman who was dr coulter get her off of clonopin and she's suffered she has 2 little boys and she walked in front of a train because she couldn't deal with it anymore about a month ago we lost a 40 something year old guy. he shot himself in the head louis. blew his head off. so we're losing people in this fight i think about it all the time what if my symptoms get to the point where i can't make it. what am i going to do. let's go back to the start of this disease model in the 1980 s. ok now the 1st drug that was tested in this new era was santa preselect them for panic disorder and here was the study they conducted they compared. a placebo group and the primary outcome measure was the number of panic attacks on average per week and

after 4 weeks 7 x. was doing better fewer panic attacks at 8 weeks that xanax patients were doing no better than placebo and then at the end of 14 weeks the xanax patients were doing worse than they were at the beginning and much much worse then the placebo patients the trial told of harm done it told the people who were going to get addicted when they came off they'd have so all sorts of withdrawal symptoms and some people unable to get off ok that's what the study showed what did they report they didn't report the 8 week results they focused on the 4 week results because that was a story that told of in effect the new treatment for panic disorder and completely hid the 14 week results pretty soon exam expecting one of the best selling drugs in the country it is still prescribe left and right and what they did we have in the early eighty's a story of science that told of harm done the longer you take a study out the more likely you are to see people not doing well on that drug raid

or developing side effects from that drug so the pharmaceutical industry doesn't favor long term studies for monetary reasons and for outcome reasons they don't want to show that their drug actually doesn't do well the gorilla in the room is the pharmaceutical industry. the drug companies spend something like $80000000000.00 a year on marketing. and lobbying they spend much much less on research and most of the research they do is really a tool of marketing there is a is as much marketing in the tests that are devised to measure the outcomes in the investigators that are hired to conduct the study all of that stuff is marketing but it's presented in manufactured and published science so here's how it's done and how it was done the pharmaceutical companies funneled all sorts of money to what are called. academic psychiatry is a prestigious american university harvard stanford johns options and those academic

psychiatry's began working for the drug companies as consultants serving as their speakers advisors that center you would start with a clinical study of the drug but who's designing the study the pharmaceutical companies they know how to design it to make their drugs look good that's step one who then analyzes the data well their own people doing it's done by the drug companies themselves. 3rd then who writes the papers it's actually ghostwriters hired by the drug companies to write up the study. they've now present this study to the people that they want to be the big names of the study and then those thought leaders basically sign off on the ghost written papers and they become quote the authors of the published paper. the former editors of the medical journals like jama and new england journal of medicine and b.m.j. british medical journal they've all said that they basically we became vehicles for story laundering it was

a corrupted creation evidence but he's. now i'm a practicing doctor in some town what am i going to believe what i want to believe you know. mr dr bigwig at harvard university that this is the best science so my obligation is to use the very drug they say is so great so for example prozac prozac can really work in the trials prozac had all sorts of adverse effects and those of us who are old enough to remember when prozac came to market it was the drug itself was on the cover of magazines our powers are such now that we can give you whatever personality you want that's how great our knowledge is advancing that was the story told what did science tell us what they found in the 1970 s. for the 1st states done in germany where they see all sorts of psychotic advance worsening of depression homicidal or suicidal impulses so much that the german authorities said this is a dangerous drug we're not going to approve it and now go read the studies that

were reported by the americans the psychosis is gone the homicidal problems are gone imagine your mother and i know mothers who said to their kid who got depressed over breaking up with a girl or something like that the doctor says oh prozac doesn't increase suicide risk and then a week later that kid hangs himself that's a real case. can you think of any worse corruption of that it has been shown that heart of the deaths that occur in psychiatric drug trials they're never published they disappear. you have an expression in america. they confess and this happens all the time the difference between an honest data analysis and one you have manipulated the worst billions on the world market so what do you think they will do.

with. me. and on the. right track. record here. i'm still nowhere near the person i was but explain it's my wife like i know i love her i know i can remember i can recall the feelings in the sensations when we met and we dated we got married. but i don't feel love at all feel love for her i don't feel love for my dog lover connection i mean it's almost i don't feel.

for other people's concerns or feelings or emotions but i think that's fascinating is partly the drugs i think partly brought on by the severe trauma of going through the experience. last night or financial for a long shot. first to visit this cash in the 3 different. oh good is a good start while we have our 3 bags all set up here maybe something in your something in america. something overseas in the cayman islands do all these banks are complicit in the kleptocracy you just have to deal with all and say ok i'm ready to do some serious move under ok let's see how we did while we've got a nice luxury watch for max and for stacy old beautiful jewelry and how about. luxury automobile again from that you know what money laundering is highly. watched

keyser of course. the world is driven by shaped by one person. who dares thinks. we dare to ask. it's been decades since the fall of spain's fascist regime but old wounds still haven't. come up until the mid twenty's and that's. because so many from you know. me cold feet a market economy. the me on the bus at the system you know what i'm interested they

seem cause me to you know. have newborn babies were torn from their mothers and given away and forced adoption i don't only want to feel that i don't grow up or there's a feeling element to this day mothers still search for grown children while adults look in hope for their parents. and family hasn't necessarily understand why. chosen to come back and stay and you know because that relationship one of the define it as bruce. said some hurtful things and yes saying when you were in the absolute depths of it you were abusive and what were. barely of use and yes not physically abused physically no but for believe you so i can recall telling you just gotta give me

time so you know why are you so mean and well because we've given it time and i wasn't getting really any better and i. feel like. this certainly worked. when you said some pretty horrible things that happened so quickly after we got married i felt like it was like a bait and switch kind of deal so when you think about you trying to go by them for the summer. i would like to try you know i think it's going to be hard to say what i'm most scared about i mean if they haven't heard i'm here to support you through this. regardless of what happens and that's. very likely ok and it doesn't feel like it. was. i have been through hell with you and have held you well you've bang your head against the

wall and this is my fear coming from the things that were said when you were in your depths in that state you're going to say well maybe this isn't the right relationship for us now but here. and i put so much into right. now. we were. really is no research on the long term impact of stimulant use but the longer you're on them the higher the dose though the more risks that you want occur over time and the less actual benefit you get from the drug. hi how are you going.

to focus things are not as high as i would like it. it's kind of feel like i've reached that tolerance how long overall has it been that you've been on an interim 15 years and your dosage is as high as i've ever seen for myself but if it's just great. only you would try adderall ok and i am actually interested in decreasing and getting off dr yeah that's the mean you always hear and are if i were you myself i wouldn't just some broken stop on how to get around trees down as i have been did and i was not right if you could actually open the capsule and gradually day after day just take out a little bit more playing what ever work rate you could kind of judge here you could maybe draw 3rd for the amount of one her own weight. few days take the 3rd out of the other one you know just kind of weaned off there from the

other hand you say definitely it's better to be on the medicine as stelarc brain then i would recommend trying out a roll just because it's got a little bit higher potency yeah yeah thank you i appreciate all your shit here thing else i can't feel sorry thank you very much are you ok they. broke great while we're going to see the doctor to see that doctor that put me on these drugs there's a hidden camera right here and i got some wires underneath all this. while saying there is the office right there. he's following the script he said i went to medical school and i'm a boy certified psychiatry and i follow everything that they say to diagnose people so basically he doesn't believe that he's doing in the movie.

we go into this field because we want to help people but it's very difficult to know where to turn for on biased evidence on these issues the pharmaceutical industry has tremendous influence over a what doctors learn how they learn and so general lack of knowledge about the dangers of these drugs is one of the main reasons that doctors continue to prescribe it even when they're inadvertently causing their patients harm you know right before she went to meditation she was just fine she was a little a little depressed but she was not having psychotic episodes she was not having body tics she was not hallucinating do you think that the medication is actually the cause of this. it was as if i was asking the most or all the question the world i never got a really response it was just not worthy of their attention the more that we were

talking about this is who rebecca is we know our daughter we know this medication has turned her into someone else we said now we don't think she should be on medication and here's why and we read off the list of symptoms he basically said you know i think this is this is a really bad decision a huge mistake it was a reminder of the year in which by and large whatever we went down the path of this medication harmful we got no support from the psychologist that we saw not if it's not medication then you're not doing it right but we stick to our guns and this sounds very dramatic but i feel that decisions saved our daughter's life i kept thinking when she was 1st time in us that she was feeling the press that i wouldn't even have had the vocabulary to say met when i was her age so that just tells you a little bit about how pervasive this is become in our society i see children who are acting out or feeling the stress they are like the canaries in the coal

mine you know that are basically shouting out like there is something wrong but you know i'm pretty quiet them. i got out of the hospital and took me off medication and within a few months i was i was back to normal not normal but i was my hallucinations are completely gone and what was left was the issues to begin with being fadi in the eating disorder and then we can move to focus on those because those are the problems with the rules knowledge is something that i never thought that i would do during that year and even after it was like there's no way i can go to college i can't handle that but here i am he. playing it and it's a paradise for someone who loves school as much as i do so i'm just kind of being a normal college and having fun because that's what i can actually do now.

was . so why did you do this for me i was just as concerned as you were about coming off the drugs and i wanted to make sure that you were in charge right you did what you felt was best but you also had the tools laid out for you the best way is essentially exponential taper and that's what we plotted out here and what that leads to is this nice slow. decline over an extended period of time do you think it was of any value well yeah because when i did it myself i went down too quickly and. felt horrible and this gave me a clear plan with specific dates and numbers it was very helpful. math can be love

. but. i see glimmers of the old dave much more often than i have been several years. that's not he's not there all the time but. i want to come home now where is before it was ok. you know it's a couple day bresson. come home but now i want to come home which is it's a good feeling and it's nice to feel that again. he got killed in action a month to the day after i was my rock out so now i'm crossing this bridge 13 years

later which most people would say should be over it right now you know i just had a call at one of my soldiers be like can you tell me a story again because last time i heard it i was on drugs and i didn't feel it. so i need to sit by him and think like look at this war did us and feel it. all.

where the. oil was. all gone the way of. oil. in.

the world. with. in the world. when. oil is in.

i am odd.

when the central bank will claim there's that this is a big the most crime when they print money and yet we don't see that on the ground we see a lot of violence on the ground and that goes directly to the feds door they have responsibility for that. when i was chosen seemed wrong. but all quotes just don't call. me

to be just to shape our disdain comes to educate and in game treatment equals betrayal. when so many find themselves worlds apart we choose to look for common ground. tough and the pull of power is the mcconnell way or both to the food. bank itself movie theater i. was in this way got to dog so hard not to think of the mother decide this is the work of the faith i want and i don't miss the mark then if. this is the only thing that we do is music because everybody fights is moving away from.

the floor loop from the fifty's who found his will chris woody allen who have called the evil of the truth of. what i seek is this is the funds that is all come from. a medical in turn commit suicide every 18 days as the pandemic pushes france's trainee doctors to a breaking point. cannonfodder our senior u.k. health workers describes their role in the pandemic with most stephen mulling quitting over the last year. paid to and division the judge in the george floyd death trial warns intimidation could prejudice the case a pig's head is also thrown at the former home of the witch.