quality and that is not a concept i would buy into but it's a very popular concept what it does is it erases male female difference it has to say we don't need males there aren't males get rid of there's no difference and that's how that happens it is really that that's a form of equating equality to sameness i mean saying right you know it's easy if we have to say now i have to confess that up until recently i thought that this whole idea also i talk fast or anything was just a reach for it and so but i'm going from here i think that the american psychological association has actually declared what it calls traditional masculinity as damaging to boys isn't that a way of saying that the last i don't know it's you 300000 years if you're an adult cultural evolution have essentially reached their outcome you're absolutely right what they're trying to do is they're part of this movement and they're and it's just a division of the american psychological association but they the the a.p.a.

gave this division the power to write these rules and and of course i and many others said no no that that's that's not going to work. the core concept that i think they're trying to get at is that there are things that men do that are not good right and we would all agree with that either i think there are things we're going to put that are not good right absolutely so they're trying to get rid of those things but their approach is wrong headed and nonscientific because what they're trying to do is say that men do bad things let's say because they're social construct masculinity is flawed and the things that are flawed in it they say are aggression which is actually not flawed aggression is fine violence is bad aggression is fine the other thing is still ism they don't like still this is and they say well men you know it's. everyone everyone should always talk about

everything they're feeling and actually the science shows that's a bad idea the more you ventilate your feelings the more depressed you get right but for them they've got this academic feminist approach or what they call pro-feminist approach that makes those things bad and they and they say those things are bad because the social construct created them. even though aggression and stoicism are actually biological too but i think it was that they didn't yet exist also even even the females i mean i actually was writing that that i was writing says medicine times i can recreate recip now correct me if i'm wrong but from what i have to say for psychology it's usually at impossible to clearly separate it and i think it's in an abuser especially for a ship because they tend to be both at the same time there is a symbiotic brain reinforcing our relational dynamic even if

we accept that the h.r.p. gave through our economic benefits so that we have been able to exist course a lot for so many centuries for millenia in fact without laughing women get something valuable out of it. yeah it was a response to what we call the patriarchy which we can see well represented like in judeo christian you know the bible that's good really represents patriarchy you can absolutely see it women don't vote women are you know they are 2nd class when they get is they're protected right they get protection and they're provided for and what the men do is they seek to be alphas they seek to run things and what they get especially because they're worried and go to war is they get certain benefits that women don't get and it was more i just have a higher chance of being killed i have exactly right and then there are deficits for both absolutely and. it was

a logical response to population explosion because when we moved from tribal into agricultural rights around 10000 years ago population start to explode and we had all of these people they had to be organized the patriarchy gradually developed you know so the patriarchy has to a great extent outlived its usefulness to a great extent and women obviously are ascending and they don't need to have those deficits anymore and all of that is absolutely true but the toxic masculinity thing you know what what these folks try to do is they try to attach everything like masculinity they try to attach it to patriarchy and then say well you see we know the patriarchy wasn't a good idea or if it was it's not anymore so therefore masculinity is a bad idea from a security you mentioned the way to go that h.r.t. has its course and you know i come from russia can sure get a story large deficit of males because if or you know rather lucian's

fabens asked substance abuse like mission all those factors happen 2 minutes you can get 4 or 5 generations of strong women who compete for man rather than. for that pay sharky is it common to dream i mean it's raining that how little bring it on they actually want more of it all that and was i wonder what this middle ground is a child in the dark it could be a how did he call it i don't know human arche human that's good i like it well you have just you have just expressed that in russia for instance the patriarchy is sort of god right women are running a lot now in terms of meeting more men that's that's part of what we've got this problem with worldwide in in as the world is sloughed off or much of the world decided that there are certain things about the past we didn't want anymore. we

also threw the baby out with the bathwater so the baby here was men and men development and we just said forget male development we're not going to do what males need to survive and thrive we are going to go ahead and you know they can go to war ok we'll let them die we'll put them in dangerous jobs and some men because they're very smart and strong will climb to the top some will putin right climb to the top very smart and strong but but tens of millions of men and tens of millions of boys we're going to forget about it and that's what you know what the u.s. is struggling with what rate you're saying russia struggling with and that's the thing we now have to address and the middle ground is science based to me the middle ground is we take the politics out and we look at science we look at how the male brain develops we look at how the female brain develops we go deeper in to who we actually are and as we go deeper into who we actually are our societies will know how to help boys and girls survive and thrive mr grig you point this through

that gender indifference and i think it's very important you can try to standing and factorization or biological differences between men and women to be ideological negation of that are we taking it for instance in the west what are some of the ways that we should email male brains at different. yeah well i'll give you the cute few quick ones one is that males do words on the left primarily on the left and females do words on both sides of the brain and that means males are also only males or behind females generally in reading writing and speaking just because we don't use as much of our brain for words but also we don't connect as many words to feelings as females do our words julie motions because females are doing that on both sides of the brain males are doing it on one side and connected to that is that females are using up to 10 times more white matter activity which is in the

mylan and which spread signals throughout the brain instantaneously males are using more gray matter activity which happens in splotches in the brain. connected to that is females do much of their brain life is in the frontal lobe so all the different parts of the frontal and the frontal is impulse control executive decision making all of these things words studying all of that males do things further back in great matter areas so those are just some of the hundreds of profound differences that affect the way that how how do we educate boys and girls our teachers don't know that we need them to know this or we lose a lot of boys in school you know etc and those are just 3 of hundreds i don't have here using a lot of brain cancer in your work to show how different it wasn't girls a man and women. process the same tasks and it's striking to me how the

latest size war is that the most ancient ideas about masculinity and if i'm uneasy that sanity being as there are so see it brad in chicken action in asking leniency who are characterized by focus and network this commission says that our forebears were able to hear that out long before i had the machines for and that i mean the machines for recognizing the difference in white matter and the great matter integrating. oh i agree so when i do talks you know when i do lectures and so on i show i have a slide that i show that has a quote from a brain scientist and then right above it is from genesis you know and god created male and female and you can see way way back and everyone use common sense and they understood that there was a profound male female difference and what the brain scans are certain is doing are

just as you said just saying ok now we can really understand all the differences and then that whole system understand how to set up our social systems so that they serve women and they serve men they serve boys they serve girls and everyone on the spectrum if we don't know this stuff now this is when we create social systems like school systems that don't support mainly males so that males are the ones that are struggling the most in school because none of the teachers were trained in this and so boys are getting in trouble for stuff that's just natural to them and that's actually ok and they're not able to do the words as well as females etc and so they get d's and f.'s or low grades and they flunk out. this school system and they were it exists today in most countries is a product of its 20th century and it's for the most part of it so women dominate it women make up the majority of that cares about stuff. but if i understand you

correctly remember that tends to project luck even that values that that outweighs all being in this world on tuesday this whole next generation assuming that's the only way to be and no rape is a physical that i mean how boys and girls adulation job of human beings that when i ask you to talk more about the difference it's been directed empathy what you call at russia where charles. ok yeah so the female brain not only some brain differences that also the hormone ology females have more oxytocin which is a direct bonding chemical and that and the mirror neurons in the insula in the middle you know where empathy happens in the female brain and mirror neurons last longer than in the male brain and so they have more and more direct empathy immediate and it lasts longer because they mirror the pain in someone else or even and they pick up facial cues and the person may not even be in pain but they see it as pain and they see it as you know and it's

a beautiful thing is part of why civilization exists because women have that capacity truly males on the other hand are mirror neurons that chilled off more quickly because of our testosterone so testosterone is an aggression chemical and so what males have tended to do and still do is is we tend to we certainly have empathy and all of that but we also tend to nurture through aggression so we create things like like soccer and football and you know all of the various hundreds of games that involve aggression now women are aggressive and complete those games no doubt very well but when you go back to why they were created those games were created for maelstrom nurture other males to aggression to teach them how to be empathic through aggression and how to use aggression and the same is true now rough and tumble play is one of the best ways to get more of the brain to work in the frontal lobe actually which is what we want rough and tumble play so i've called that aggression nurturance and males not every male but males in the

aggregate tend more toward aggression nurturance females in the aggregate tend more toward direct empathy nurturance and the key is not to get rid of either of these the key is to have both so females do it their way males do it their way we cross over of course there's overlap and that's how we raise and educate really so good smart resilient kids we have to take care. very short break right now i will get back to. you.

americans love buying homes. this was a fundamental part of how our political leadership and our country a large understood the bargain you get a hope and then you know rebel right as the things you don't revolt if you have a stake in the system. be really interesting to dial it back and think about

the longer deeper history housings men in the united states not just back old question of the american dream but the bigger question of who the dream is and for .

welcome back to worlds apart but psychotherapist and best selling author michael gurian it's a good. one to talk about. yes q initiate especially talks at west point i think it would be unfair that the subject of so many can especially toxic summonings and i don't want to discuss it in moral terms more interested in what is it in women's and girls' biology and psychology that me make them unpleasant or even toxic with others yeah anyone can be toxic and we always want to establish anyone i think i understand what you're getting at we don't you know sometimes we popularly say girl

drama or girls can be really nasty to each other women can be can smile at you know someone but really think something very nasty behind their back and undercut and and yeah women do stuff like that all the time i mean everyone that's what's so bizarre about the conversation that we are we don't ever talk about toxics them in any we only talk about toxic masculinity when it would be better actually i just think not use those terms and just say ok what is what is going on in women so if we look at what's going on in women that sometimes makes them self-destruct and harm others part of what's happening is they these rumination loops so the female brain takes in so much emotive deta so much more than males picks up so many more facial cues so she takes all this in and she thinks things out and she's constantly processing 5 or 10 different things she might someone may roll her eyes

at her like roll her eyes she could think about that for 2 days and that's a rumination loop and these these loops warm in women's brains and girls brains that last a long time and then are fed by the hormone ology and so then girls without realizing it they go out and they do some very mean things and often they have it's not causal like the person really was not being mean to them but they go. out and they you know undercut people they do cyber bullying they do all sorts of things that you're calling toxic they yeah that are and a lot of it goes back to how their brains work and people don't realize this about the female brain so so we will tend to say to females to girls will tend to say go ahead and express everything and really what we should be saying is we want to hear what you felt about that person rolling their eyes but then after that we need to problem solve this and reality check this and where there is actual trauma that

she's been put through you know sexual assault i mean there's so many traumas that a woman can go through ok then we really need to hear things for longer and get her therapy but we also need a reality check and stop the loops because those rumination loops are really destructive to girls and women and then that's part of how they go out into the world and then they can even become bottle and. you know i think for all those battles that are being waged hasn't pensioned sort of spreading its value around the world including gender barriers and by that i mean really what you call gender indifference and also there is ideas about gender. how do you think other societies should that brooch. i get i think scientifically are right now we're in a phase in the us of saying there's no male female anymore everything's fluid etc but it doesn't really fit the science when we look at science and every culture can

use the same science if they go to green institute dot com which is my our site for our our our work you can see thousands of studies that show that sex is binary sex is male female that's binary that's biological and body and brain right male brain female brain are different coming on the x. in the eye chromosome that's sex and sex on the brain that's binary there are only 2 options male and female gender which is a social construct which is what you know what are you in russia what are they in saudi arabia what are we in the us what do what do we say socially about what we think masculine and feminine ought to be that's a social construct that is fluid because every society thinks of something different and then subcultures inside a society think something different but if we stay with sexes binary gender is fluid then we are covering everything i think traditionally social institution

based on a sex rather than gender that i descended and resurrections we should treat each other as human beings that we are bought when you are trying to build a reform asil institution in christ and what degree of generalization you mentioned before that even right hugh sacks this we're all doing it i really enjoy all of you know accommodating our sex differences i can't imagine how you can build a functional system or what is it like more than that how different genders i meet me approach just things socially again i think is the chairman seems i'm of the west. sussex youth sexual differences that gen. that deference is an xterm that's right i think it's an incredible chance i don't see how we can build anything that will actually save our kids. and that's probably and. the fact that really are. you know patience and concern for each farmer yeah we have to set them

up for sex we have to set all of our systems up to take care of the sex of the child 1st which is and well let me use an example of schools we we we can't we can't say to schools ok we've decided not for ideological reasons that you no longer have to pay attention to the fact that that kids have male brains and female brains their boys and girls they're going to all be they and we're not going to pay any attention to it all we will do if we do that is we will increase the number of boys and girls who fail out of school who don't succeed in life you know because as you've just said sex on the brain is one of the primary drivers of human experience so we 1st have to create the system to take care of sex and then we can and then we can say to the system look you've we've got some exceptions who prove the rule in other words we have some folks who are gay right ok there are exceptions but the

system can take care of them we don't have to say they don't exist the system can take care of them. partially because the system takes care of male and female and being gay is inside male and female also trans if we take care male and female we can take care of the people who are trans around point 3 percent of praying that we can study with scans we can see are trans you know so transsexual transgender we can take care of those people because we've taken care of male and female so we 1st take care of male and female and then we add on that is the best way to run the social system there is one more thing i want to touch and you know all of this is a concept of safe spaces. i find it highly ironic that as crime statistics for the united states is at record high there's so much discussion about creating a safe space at which sites will ever reason because human life real here i thought it was supposed to be safe i mean it wasn't ever supposed to be safe humans outcry

for all to all frustration well for total safety and if we cannot create a safe space inside our own psyche i don't understand how we can get around that from other people. yes safe space started out is certainly going to turn out good what it was was our family should be a safe space and a counseling office should be a safe space that's where the language came from because there was child abuse we tried to get you know homes to be safe and then counseling offices people got to be safe to express their trauma and their feelings and we can't judge so that's where it came from it was the right thing but then what happened is the culture got a hold of it and said ok. we i have this idea so my idea is whatever that person's ideas and then they said ok i need a safe space for that idea so now my university has to has to allow me to express

that idea even if it's you know not a very good idea and no one should argue with me because i need a safe space for my idea and that is nuts so we need to get safe space me back to. home safe counseling office safe but other environments we should have great social arguments that mr griffin i sing state government only constable because. you know i think this is it the only striving in psychology that this country it seems even it really is being extremely valuable for expending and developing here and so i mean i wonder if there is any difference between a doubt record levels of anxiety and depression near us is that we can upset at observance our society's besides he had to say for everything even you johnson to say fruit him alive when you know that some degree of frustration or it's become

a mature people think they are absolutely that's why i think the concept of aggression nurturance is so it's actually such a good concept because and women can use aggression nurturance because what it says is actually if we want resilience if our goal is to build resilient children who can grow up to become resilient adults then they need to have more discomfort not abuse not abuse not rape not sexual assault none of that they should be safe from that but they need to have discomfort they need to have people push back and challenge them and be aggressive with them not violent that's something else but aggression nurturance and here's one of the best ways we know we're right is it used to be that we were told that no germs that note that children should never get germs and now we know loops actually that was wrong we need little children to be exposed to these aggressive toxins which are germs we need them to be exposed to

that aggression so that they develop the immune systems and the anti-bodies and the same thing is true of psychology we need to keep them safe from violence yes but not from challenge and not from discomfort they should have some frustration yes. great stuff it's been fascinating to talk with you thank you very much for your time and by the way to give you take you to thank you and thank you for watching people just here again last week alone as a part. of . the world is determined by shaped past and person of those.

who dares thinks. we dare to ask.

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russia celebrates the 76th anniversary of the red army's victory over nazi germany and the great patriotic war. troops parade on red square an aircraft flying overhead as moscow commemorates victory day our correspondents were there in the heart of the capital taking in all 'd for at 1st hand. then coming 6. home to fold up some of the fun times to come up to its peak.