thank you for our family. this occasion be as special as it is unique. we pray in jesus' name, a man looking back sometimes. i mean, this is a difficult memory for all of us to unpack and to try to address it. sometimes it helps, but one of the things was what were we initially concerned about in those early days? i still wanted taylor to be a happy little boy, and i don't know if how you will be able to handle it. i didn't want the memory to heart to all your life. obviously the huge concern about the worst ancient you know, he was so little and so what is he going to have to go through or who i was young and i didn't understand what was going on at the time. and it was difficult for me to process and i look back as i guess it wasn't the greatest thing. sure. everybody

out from, from me i guess i'm in for a distance from people and it's, i was just the way of the way i've been dealing with it. but foot know through family and everything. it's all about us closer. then they all done for me. it has changed my perspective on life and i know the thing about daily's power, matthew expecting me to me an example. now what do you want me to lou?

as a kind of big brother warranty, the well and we're probably all needed to say they say well probably needed to be able to express this because to a great extent we have suppressed our failings in order to be protective in order to hope all of this would turn out well this is

the nice strong. yeah. this is me o me. ah. so

it felt very warm from october for to chelsea and i remember watching the tree branches away. i felt for the 1st time in months, i got a telephone call from a detective about 2 in the for noon. she was in intensive care and if they hadn't told me, i was christian, i don't think i would have known that it was. she was just virtually unrecognizable . it was the next morning when we went to her apartment and i went out onto the balcony and there were a bandages bloody bandages and needles.

the most dramatic thing i remember, and i still have a very hard time with this. there was actually still a piece of her jaw that was on the, on the floor of the apartment, the floor of the balcony. and i don't think i even told tristan this before. but that is probably what brought the whole thing most dramatically home to me. the look at that dr. you now i remember the ceiling, the unreal. that's also an real thought about what it must have been like from my friends. i have to clean up

the pieces of teeth. i'm phones and so much was the i can't imagine what hard for them to have to face. it's so weird to go back into that mindset to see that balcony and think about what was going into my head of this. i shot they're gone and i and i

i me gratefully that i can leave. i can live it went to my dentist and the last a shot. and then a few more south pole and my friends are screaming. graham graham is lee. so i look around the pole to that corner.

i see 3 missed in all 3. so i pulled out slowly. and in this time i turned around twice when i 1st got loud in tears fall in the ground. ah split. picking up, that's one thing. i love in a walk over there. the other one is friends running back. miss lynde erection, by the turn around and walk away from

the 1st or the day. i feel over the reason being is because i always justify myself. someone listen to me or try to take my life than it was of anything i dental i didn't realize how many to allow the impact to get his life. mumble if is in all the things that to have done as recorded. i did the william at the

the media a reflection of reality in a world transformed what will make you feel safer type relation, community you going the right way? where are you being that somewhere? which direction? what is truth? what is faith in the world corrupted. you need to defend the join us in the depths will remain in the shallows, use me, and i make no, certainly no borders and the blind number t's as

emerge. we don't have authority, we don't, the whole world needs to take action and be ready. not a joke. people are judge governors crisis, we can do better, we should be better. everyone is contributing each in their own way. but we also know that this crisis will not go on forever. the challenges to response has been massive. so many good people are helping us. it makes us feel very proud that we need together in ah, do it again. which phoenix does actually

come and face men's, clothing and shoulder holster. it's a kind of feminism, its name is how camino above put a human level. some of the whole lot of that of us is, was a lot of our on our job. but you know, the ones that she lives in, one of the most dangerous and patriarchal provinces of afghanistan cost when she was time on their national. and i shall do that. i'll get you into it. i'm glad you got the notes that she does her best to fight for women's rights. i want to tell you what you guys do. i know that she's known him by her nickname, king the other. the buzzer got her that she was really good on the

guy that i one of the worst in a nash shootings in america, was in las vegas in 2017. the tragedy a close a little of the real last vegas, where many say elected officials are controlled by casino knows the dangerous shooting. revealed what the l v m p d really is. and now it's part of the spin machine to the american public barely remember that happened, that just shows you the power of money and las vegas. the powerful showed that true colors, when the pandemic heard the most can pay just contagion that we've seen in decades . and then you have a mayor who doesn't care. so here's caroline goodman, offering the lives of the biggest residents to be the control group. to the shiny facade, conceal

a deep indifference to the people by going to say that they would take an action. absolutely keep the registering and keep the slot machines doing. they use as a money machine is a huge cash register that is ran by people who don't care about people's lives being lost. if you guys come to your house and they do have appear, he take whatever measures. yeah, you protect yourself and it was around you. the prosecutor here try to do everything if you had to find charges to push. yes, we have it. cuz you guys run my house. and i didn't know if there armed or not. it was dark. windows were closed, i saw him standing there,

i told him to stop. they wouldn't stop. they kept, i don't know where they were doing. and i said, okay, i mean in my mind, does it say the whole thing when you asked about 20 or 30 seconds and then it got ugly. it took over half an hour before the police showed up and stage is not going to come in and do anything until this scene secure in the scene was secure because it took the guy 40 minutes to die as long time cause again assembly. he kept reach and i need to his belt, he wouldn't roll or you can reach him in his pass. i didn't know where i was reaching for a minute ago and i was reaching for derrick, meaning he crawled towards the name of collapse and i don't know what his

intentions were. he wouldn't, he wouldn't say a word. so you know, i was still a certified medical person at the time. if i felt the scene was safe, i don't know what i could have done, but i would have done something you know, trying to help the guy. but i was a long as 3040 minutes in my life. i knew that i was going to be on, i've seen enough gas in my life life career. i knew there's, there's nothing new for this guy.

i wish i could put it behind me and move on like never happened. i know i never will. i don't think anybody ever could ever get over it. i doubt it me. i'd like to find somebody to ask me i felt i had become a burden to everyone. i know i had a gun in my room in case someone broke and i

am going to do know what i'm going to and everything i wish you purchase. gotten out of control i. c know. c your way i can walk out to me i'm gonna sit here from the people for the gone

in. c the the the me ah, pull the trigger and

pain away. i can't see my in my room the screen. and then talking 3 weeks later i woke up from a coma. and i was grateful. fast survives i remind myself, every day i'm alive. i'm alive. her i i

i, i me, i'm doing my normal routine into the bathroom. i get a shower, brush my teeth in my hair done. i as well matthew as he was in the bathroom. and was up on the counter. i'm not sure why is up in the corner. it was me for santo op to my mom's room. i seen the gun lying there

on the underneath the left side of the med and i and i walked back into the bathroom with a gun in my hands, out of curiosity, just looking at it and trying to figure out what it does and how to work it and i, so we proceed to take the safety off. and then from there on, i talked the gun back in putting around in the chamber. and i just remember matthew says to me, you know, that was a gift from papa to mon or safety. and i didn't answer, i just hear a gunshot,

i and so at 8 o'clock that same night, december, 1st, one by one. we say goodbye and the last one. so like how it cleaned over my forehead against his little buddy.

her going to do great things for god. i love you. i'll see in the morning and a lot in a lot of ways it feels like the morning has never come. i

ah i

oh i ah in ah

ah, ah me one of the worst in a nash shootings in america was in last vegas in 2017 tragedy a close a little live in real life vegas. where many say elected officials are controlled by casino, knows the vegas shooting. revealed what the l v m p d really is. and now it's part of the spin machine to the american public barely remember that it happens, that just shows you the power of money and las vegas. the powerful showed that true colors when the pen demick heard the most contagious contagion that we've seen in decades. and then you have a mayor who doesn't care. so here's caroline goodman, offering the lives of the biggest residents to be the control group,

to the shiny facade, conceal of deep indifference to the people vice gonna say that they would take an action. absolutely, keep the registering and keep the slot machines doing. this is a money machine is a huge cash register that is ran by people who don't care about people's lives being lost. me 100 make notes just you know, borders and a lot number please. the new virus has emerged. we don't have a 30, we go to the back scene. the whole world needs to take action and be ready. not a joke. people judge crisis, we can do better, we should be better. everyone is contributing each in their own way. but we also know that this crisis will not go on forever. the challenge is paid for the

response has been massive. so many good people are helping us. it makes us feel very proud that we need together in the conservative republicans near once will use against biden the same tactics that republicans had to see common from democrats to consume. so they would deck, used by, you know, for being too soft, indecisive, electronically, agenda. not tough enough with who to definitely but they will try to sabotage some of the agreements that have been reached. geneva ah,

the ah, american to celebrate the new holiday marking the end of slavery in the u. s. supreme court blocks a lawsuit against chocolate jobs using child labor. what african thought you take a minute to say they deeply ashamed off or the reveal the thousands of rape victims don't seem justice. victim support groups say the findings are too little too late . no, i don't get apology alone is enough to heal the hurt at the victims of devices who have been so terribly let down. devastating floods to leave one post.