good, good good. do you

think she can please the more

the the father thank you for the way that you have blessed and guided us and thank you for our family. this occasion be special as it is unique. we pray in jesus' name, a man looking back sometimes. i mean, this is

a difficult memory for all of us to unpack and to try to address it. sometimes it helps, but one of the things was what were we initially concerned about in those early days? i still wanted taylor to be a happy little boy, and i don't know if how you will be able to handle it. i didn't want the memory to heart to all your life. obviously the huge concern about the worst ancient you know, he was so little and so what is he going to have to go through who i was young and i didn't understand what was going on at the time. and it was difficult for me to process and i look back as i guess it wasn't the greatest thing everybody out from, from me i guess i meant for distant from people who is i was just the way of the way i've been dealing with it. but

foot, you know, through family and everything. it's all about us closer then they all done for me. it has changed my perspective on life. and i know that i think about daily's our matthew expecting me to me an example. now what do you want me to lou? as a kind of big brother warranty, the well

and we're probably all needed to say they say well probably needed to be able to express this because to a great extent we have suppressed our failings in order to be protective in order to hope all of this would turn out well this is the nice

strong. yeah. this is me o me. ah 3. it felt very warm from october to chelsea and i remember watching the tree branches away.

i felt for the 1st time in months, i got a telephone call from a detective about 2 in the for noon. she was in intensive care and if they hadn't told me, i was christian, i don't think i would have known that it was. she was just virtually unrecognizable . it was the next morning when we went to her apartment and i went out onto the balcony and there were a bandages bloody bandages and needles. the most dramatic thing i remember, and i still have a very hard time with this. there was actually still

a piece of her jaw that was on the, on the floor of the apartment, the floor of the balcony. and i don't think i even told tristan this before. but that is probably what brought the whole thing most dramatically home to me. the look at that dr. you now i remember the ceiling, the unreal that's so real. so thought about what it must have been my my friends, i have she clean up pieces of teeth. i'm phones and so much flush the i can't imagine what hard

for them to have to face. it's so weird to go back and for that mindset to see that balcony and think about what was going into my head of this. i shot gun. i i

me gratefully that i can leave i can live it went to my dentist and the last shot. and then a few more south roads up for my 1st screaming on the ground where miss lee so i look around the pole to corner. i see 3 missed in all 3. so i'm going out slowly. and then as soon as i turn around

twice when our friends in contact with allow the parents fall in the ground, i split picking up the funding. while i look in a walk over there, when his friends running back miss lynde erection, father turned around and walk away from the 1st her i feel over the reason being is because i always justify someone listen to me or you try to

take my life then it was of everything i dental and then realize how many to allow the impact to get his life mumble if is in all the things that to have done as recorded. i know you've been the william and the the rather driven by dreams shaped by those

in me dares thing. we dare to ask me. ah, do it again which has actually got some little uncovered face men's, clothing and shoulder stuck. it's a kind of gun feminism. its name is how camino above put a human level. some of the whole model that of us is, was

a little of up up on the job. but you know, the ones that she lives in, one of the most dangerous and patriarchal provinces of afghanistan cost lacy, which time i thought sure, no, i shall do the average. that updated to run by yes, i've got to know that she does her best to fight for women's rights. i am not able to get that done as you would. i do not know that she's here by her nickname. the king was reco was really a good one day, a guy that i

me the guys come to your house and they do have appear. he take whatever measures. yeah. you protect yourself and it was around you. the prosecutor here try to do everything i could to find charges to push. he asked me that because you guys run my house and i didn't know if there armed or not. it was dark. windows were closed. i saw him standing there. i told him to stop, they wouldn't stop, they kept, i don't know where they were doing. and i said, okay,

i mean in my mind, does it say the whole thing when you asked about 20 or 30 seconds? and then i got ugly. it took was a half an hour before the police showed up and stage is not going to come in and do anything until she seen secure in the scene was secure because it took the guy 40 minutes to die. as a long time ago, somebody he kept reach and i need to his belt, he wouldn't, he wouldn't roll over and he kept reaching in his pants. i didn't know where to reach for. could have been a guy and i oh, what he was reaching for. derrick, meaning he crawled towards me. collapse. you know what his intentions were. he wouldn't, he wouldn't say a word. so you know, i was still a certified medical person at the time. if i felt the scene was safe,

i don't know what i could have done, but i would have done something, you know, trying to help the guy. but i was a long as 3040 minutes in my life. i knew that i was going to be on, i've seen enough gas in my life like career. i knew there's there's nothing new to this guy. i wish i could put it behind me and move on like, never happen. i know i never will.

i don't think anybody ever could ever get over it. i doubt it me. i'd like to buy somebody to has me i felt i had become a burden to everyone. i knew i had a gun in my room and pace. someone broke and i am going to do know what

i'm going to and everything so much pain and things have just gotten out of control. i. c know your way i walk out to me sit here from think of our home me gone for the whole

the the. 6 me ah, pull the trigger. and hang away. i can't see my in my room the screen.

and then 3 weeks later i woke up from a coma and i was grateful. i survives my remind myself, every day. i'm alive. i'm alive. her i i i, i, i

me, i'm doing my normal routine into the bathroom. i get a shower, brush my teeth and get my hair done. i as well matthew as he was in the bathroom while he was up on the counter. i'm not sure why is up in the corner. it was ah, for santo, up to my mom's room. i seen the gun lying there on the underneath the left side of the med and i and i walked back into the bathroom with

a gun in my hands, out of curiosity, just looking at it and trying to figure out what it does and how to work it and i, so we proceed to take the safety off. and then from there on the gun back in putting around in the chamber. and just remember matthew says to me, you know, that was a gift from papa to mon or safety. and i didn't answer. i just hear a gunshot i

and so 8 o'clock that same night, december, 1st, one by one. we say goodbye and the last one. so like how it cleaned over for my forehead against his tail. anybody who are going to do great things. i love you.

i'll see in the morning and a lot in a lot of ways it feels like the morning has never come in . ah ah

i

oh i ah in. ah, i

the financial survival guide, stacy bliss, learn about the aloud. let's say i'm a joy and your grief. i'm grief on face of the fight. walk 3 prod. thank you for helping with joy. that's right. fell out. that way. me one of the worst have a mass shootings in america was in las vegas in 2017 tragedy. a. close a little of the real last vegas where many say elected officials are controlled by christina learners. the dangerous shooting revealed what the l v m p. d. really is, and now it's part of the spanish, in the american public, barely remembers that it happened just shows you the power of money and las vegas.

the powerful showed that true colors when the pandemic had the most contagious contagion that we've seen in decades. and then you have a mayor who doesn't care to, here's caroline goodman, offering the lives of the vegas residence. to be the control group. to the shiny facades conceal a deep indifference to the people by going to say that they will take an action. absolutely keep the registering and the slot machines doing this is a money machine is a huge cash register that is ran by people who don't care about people's lives being lost. the use

ah ah, the the week's top stories here when our team, the 1st us russia summit of the biden presidency in geneva seats vladimir putin and bide and agreed to return the respective ambassadors to their post. those let them imprudent also as caution about the post and summit, bilateral times. i have no illusions following the meeting, neither old nor new. there can't be any illusions at all. moscow sets of grim record as the daily number of covert 900 cases sauce to an old time high cities man has announced a raft of new measures.