and now i don't know who i am, and the only thing that's happened between then and now is i've been exposed to a series of very strong psychiatric medications. any answer after 20 minutes was will. i can give you a prescription for some balter when i did move out, he called me and said that he was sending in a basement extra noose. and i said in what's your safety plan? and he said to call you and i said i saw safety plan, you need to hang up and call 911. and i hate having to tell him that it feels countless to me when you're going through withdrawal psychiatric drugs. the best thing is kind of get back off that ledge. just say, dave, just give, give yourself more time, give yourself more time,

continue to fight for it. you know, and some day we'll regain a sense of normalcy in your daily life. typically we find that the withdrawal phenomenon is the opposite of whatever the drug does. if the intention of the drug is to help somebody be more relaxed or help them fall asleep than when they're experiencing withdraw, what they will, experiences, anxiety and restlessness and insomnia, in a even get so bad that they are profoundly depressed and consider suicide withdrawal. symptoms can often be much worse than the original problems the person came with. and the withdrawal is very, very difficult. sometimes, quite dangerous, may take months or years to really be accomplished. people are jumping out of their skin feeling terrific, exciting, having all sorts of physiological symptoms that difficult to bear. people cannot

stop this medicine except in the slowest possible way with very gradual reductions in dose. me. so this how i cut my pill. i'm doing here. a 10 percent tape or. ready take the pill a way it so whole pill, 2 milligram ways 0.15. ready 9010 percent of that, you don't want to take off too much because even waste the pills almost there actually. that's 10 percent. yeah. the 1st time i tapered, i didn't have my scale as yet. so i was just eyeball and because i was determined to get off for your body will tell you if you're handling the cuts based on symptoms. so it took me awhile to get from 2 to 1.6 was 1.64. that's all i could go

to. this group has almost 2300 members. people just post stuff. how is everyone doing today? let's see. i'm in a strange window to day dos for almost 2 days, up doses when you are at a certain dose and the symptoms get really bad. so you go back to the original dose where you weren't feeling so bad. everyone has a unique stuff running through, you know, to persons are like, i had brain that i had tremors. i had severe a night sweats. i have a symptom where it feels like things are crawling inside my body. just just moved in and i came across this image and i was like, wow, that's exactly how that's exactly how it is. nobody understands this. and if you don't have support, you will lose yourself. i've been

a part of these groups since august of last year. and since august of last year we lost 3 people to suicide. in my support groups, 3, we lost 50 something. you're a woman, who's dr. cold turkey her off quite a bit. and she's suffered. she is too low voice. and she walked in front of a train because she couldn't deal with it anymore. about a month ago, we lost a 40 something year old guy. he shot himself in the head. louis blew his head off. so we're losing people in this fight. i think about it all the time. what if my symptoms get to the point where i can't make it? what am i going to do? let's go back to the start of this disease model in the 1980 s. okay? now the 1st drug that was tested in this new era was santa president for panic

disorder. and here was the study they conducted. they compared xanax versus a placebo group. and the primary outcome measure was the number of panic attacks on average per week. and after 4 weeks, san x was doing better, fewer panic attempts. at 8 weeks, the xanax patients were doing no better than placebo. and then at the end of 14 weeks, the xanax patients were doing worse than they were at the beginning. and much, much worse than the placebo patients the trial told of harm done and told the people who are going to get addicted. when they came off, they have all sorts of withdrawal symptoms and some people unable to get off. ok. so that's where the study showed. what did they report? they didn't report the 8 week results, they focused on the 4 week results. because that was the story that told of an effective new treatment for panic disorder and completely hid the 14 week results. pretty soon exaninth became one of the best selling drugs in the country. it is

still prescribed left and right. and what did we have in the early eighty's? a story of science that all the harm done, the longer you take a study out, the more likely you are to see people not doing well on that drug, great or developing side effects from that drug. so the pharmaceutical industry doesn't favor long term studies for monetary reasons and for outcome reasons. they don't want to show that their drug actually doesn't do well. the grill in the room is the pharmaceutical industry. drug companies spend something like $80000000000.00 a year on marketing and lobbying. they spend much, much less on research. and most of the research they do is really a tool of marketing. there's a much marketing in the tests that are devised to measure the outcomes in the investigators that are hired to conduct the study. all of that stuff is marketing, but it's presented and manufactured and published a science. so here's how it's done and how it was done by the pharmaceutical

companies funneled all sorts of money to what are called thought. we're academic psychiatrist, a prestigious american universities, harvard, stanford, johns hopkins, and those academic psychiatrist began working for the drug companies as consult and serving as their speakers, advisors, et cetera. you would start with a clinical study of the drug, but who's designing the study? the pharmaceutical companies, they know how to design it to make their drug, the good that step one, who then analyze the data? well, their own people do, it gets done by the drug company himself. 3rd, and who writes the papers. it's actually ghost writers hired by the drug companies to write up the study. they've now present this study to the people that they want to be the big names under study. and then those thought leaders basically sign off on the ghost written papers and they become quote, the authors of the published paper, the former editors of the medical journals like jammah. i'm new england journal of

medicine and b, m. j, british medical journal. they've all said that like basically we became vehicles for story laundry. it was corrupted. creation of an evidence base. now i'm a practicing doctor in some town. what am i going to believe for? i'm going to believe, you know, mr. dr. big, we get harvard university, that this is the best science. so my obligation is to use the very drug they say is so great. so for example, process project and really work in the trials process can all sorts of adverse effects. and those of us who are old enough to remember when pros that came to market it was, the drug itself was on the cover of magazines. our powers are such now that we can give you whatever personality you want, that's how great our knowledge is advancing. that was the story told. what did science tell us? you know what they found in the 1970s. for the 1st studies done in germany. what do they see? all sorts of psychotic events, worsening of depression, homicidal,

suicidal impulses. so much that the german authority said this is a dangerous drug. we're not going to approve it. and now go read the studies that were reported by the americans. the psychosis is gone, the homicidal problems are gone. imagine your mother and i know mothers who said to their kid who got depressed over breaking up with a girl or something like that. the doctor says, oh, process doesn't increase suicide risk. and then a week later that kid hangs himself. that's a real case. can you think of any worse corruption of that? it has been shown that half of the death that occur in psychotic drug trials didn't have a published. they disappear. you have an expression in america, torture your data until they confess. and this happens all the time, the difference between an honest data analysis and one you have manipulated can be

worth billions on the work market. so what do you think they'll do the council where where they the rank brown. i'm still nowhere near the person that was but this is explain it to my wife like i know i love her. i know i can remember i can recall the feelings my sensations when we met and we dated, we got married but i don't feel,

i don't feel love for her. i don't feel love for my dog. i don't feel love or connection. i mean, it's almost like i don't feel for other people's concerns or feelings or emotions. i think that's multifaceted. i think it's partly the drugs i think it's partly brought on by the severe trauma going through the experience. ah, is your media a reflection of reality in a world transformed what will make you feel safer? tyson lation community going the right way or are you being that the direct? what is truth? what is faith? in the world corrupted? you need to this end. ah,

so join us in the depths will remain in the shallows. ah, ah, the pacific leg around the world, expedition by 1000 miles round the clock in the dead. calm miss wilson as every country close by it with my food, the crew. gavin's food and water harbour fortune to go to chat for a show was born. the little thing is that everybody's love are almost no

food and no water but really give them up. so somebody stuck a fish in the cove in your living like the fema home, but in the 21st century. the news. the next financial survival guide. daisy, let's learn about fill out. let's say i'm extra, i get your grief based of the site. walk 3 prod. thank you for helping me with choice. 6 that's

right, that way, i don't know if family hasn't necessarily understood why chosen to come back and stay and interviews that relationship. why do they define it as pieces and hurtful things? yes, and when you were in the absolute depths of it, you were abusive. in what way? burly. this is. yeah. ok. not physically, not physically know by verbally abusive. i can recall telling you just gotta give me time. so mad a u. y recently. well, because we're giving it time and it wasn't getting really any better and i didn't feel like necessarily working. i mean,

you said some pretty horrible things that happened so quickly after we got married . i felt like it was like a bait and switch kind of deal. so anything that you trying to get off in 5 in the summer? i would like to try. yeah, i think it's going to be hard. honestly what i'm scared about is that i haven't heard, i'm here to support you through this regardless of what happens. and that's 33. i am ok. i doesn't feel good. i have been through hell with you and have held you. well, you've been your head against the wall, and this is my fear coming from the things that were said when you were in your depths and that say you're going to say, well, maybe this isn't the right relationship for us. can i put so much into it?

too, i really is no research on the long term impact of stimulate use, but the longer you're on them, the higher the dose. so the more risk that you incur over time and the less actual benefit you get from that drug. hello hi. how are you? good, good. so how's your focus been doing? not as hot as i would like it kind of feel like i reached the tolerance co long overall hasn't been that you've been in full 15 years. you're dosages as high as i've ever seen for myself,

but if it's just not grade, then normally we would try out are all okay and i'm actually interested in decreasing and getting off the road. yeah, i mean, you always can. if i were you myself, i wouldn't just abruptly stopped. no, i'm not please. that's what i was not right. if you could actually open the capsule and gradually you day after day, just take out a little bit more at what rate you could kinda judge. you could maybe drop a 3rd of the amount out, want to wait for a few days to take a 3rd out of the other one, you know, just kind of, we're off from the other hand. you said definitely it's better to be on a medicine but still not grade. then i would recommend trying out around just because it's got a little bit higher potency. yeah, yeah. well, thank you. i appreciate it. sure thing else i think i'm sure. thank you very much. you're welcome. the brooklyn,

while we're going to see the doctor, see that doctor that put me on these drugs hidden camera right here. and i got some wires underneath all this. well, there was the office right there. he's following the script. he said i went to medical school and i'm a board certified psychiatrist, and i follow everything that they said to diagnose people. so basically he doesn't believe that he's doing anything wrong. i we go into this field because we want to help people, but it's very difficult to know where to turn for unbiased evidence on these issues. the pharmaceutical industry has tremendous influence over what

doctors learn how they learn it. so general, lack of knowledge about the dangers of these drugs is one of the main reasons that doctors continue to prescribe even when they're inadvertently causing their patients harm. you know, right before she went to meditation, she was just fine. she was a little little depressed, but she was not having psychotic episode. she was not having body texts. she was not hallucinating. do you think that the medication is actually the cause of this? it was as if i was asking the most relevant question the world i never got a really response. it was, it was just not worthy of their attention. the more that we were talking about this is who rebecca is. we know our daughter, we know this medication is turned into someone else. we said, you know, we don't think she should be on medication and here's why. and we read off the list of symptoms. you basically said, you know, i think this is a really, this is

a huge mistake. it was a reminder of the year in which by enlarge whenever we went down this path of his medication, harmful. we got no support from the psychiatry that we saw. none of it's not medication then you're not doing it right. but we still are done in the sounds very dramatically. i feel that decision saved our daughter's life. i kept thinking when she was 1st telling us that she was going to press that i wouldn't even have the vocabulary to say that when i was her age. so that just tells you a little bit about how pervasive this is become in our society. i see children who are acting out or feeling distressed. they are like capillaries in the coal mine you know about are basically shouting out like, there is something wrong. but you know, we quite of them i got out of the hospital, it took me off medication. within a few months i was,

i was back to normal, not normal, but i was, my hallucinations are completely gone. and what was left was the issues to begin with being diety and the eating disorder. and then we can move to focus on those because those are the problems, me apologize, something that i never thought that i would do during that year. and even afterwards, it's like no way i can go to college, i can't handle that, but here i am handling it. and it's paralyzed for someone who school lunches. i do so i'm just kind of being a normal college student and having fun because that's what i can actually do. now the so why did you do this for me? i was just as concern and as you were about coming off the drugs and i wanted to

make sure that you are in charge, right. you did what you felt was best, but you also had the tools laid out for you. the best way is essentially an exponential taper. and that's what we plotted out here. and what that leads to is this nice slow decline over an extended period of time. do you think it was of any value? well yeah, because when i did it myself, i went down too quickly and felt horrible. and this gave me a clear plan with specific dates and members. very helpful. math can be love. i see glimmers of the old days and much more often than i have been several years. it's not. he's not there all the time, but i i want to come home now,

whereas before it was okay. you know, take cover, the brass then come home. but now i want to come home, which is a good feeling, and it's nice to feel that again. i so he got killed an action a month to the day after i was out. so now i'm processing this 13 years later, which most people would say, you should be over it right now. you know, i just had to call my one of my soldiers and be like, can you tell me the story again? because last time i heard it, i was on drugs and i didn't feel it. so i know i need to sit by him and think like, look with this word to us and feel it. ah

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ah, [000:00:00;00] i the what we've got to do is identify the threats that we have. it's crazy foundation, let it be an arms race is often very dramatic. development only personally,

i'm going to resist. i don't see how that strategy will be successful, a very critical time. time to sit down and talk a war on drugs started as a way to come back. a great problem. what's the wonder? it's part of the attitude of the nation, not just of north dakota, and it got to be something that you could get elected. this time, the fight against drugs took a tragic, told us that andrew was competing short form. this is way too dangerous for him to be doing. clearly they put him in harm's way. a rural college student does interest get shot in the head and found in

a river like something else to be happening. this is your media. a reflection of reality in a world transformed what will make you feel safer. tyson lation community. you going the right way? where are you being direct? what is true? what is faith? in the world corrupted, you need to defend join us in the depths, the will remain in the shallows. ah ah,

the ah, ah ah, only a week gone to the last us evacuation flight left afghanistan around a 100 american citizens remain strong in the country. despite the president boynton hailing to pull out an extraordinary success, a series of messages from the us military revealed the panic over the withdrawal with troops unable to rescue fellow citizen. we spoke to