really kind of to stick with central principles. so progress problems today did not have none of those principle at all. except that deal with this principle can, has their own interest. but years ago, there was some sort of kind of dialogue with the adults to see what they can do today. they are still kind of restrict your limits. if you check your chicken one cabinet, one distinct call question and from from inside question, don't just completely concentrated on what sculpus will talk about it, but is e l e? if they fixed it will be okay with her for years or so with your band, with your dad

with if i could afford gold from that. oh boy. good do there you oh oh oh oh oh

with him please. let me finish my work

with my father. thank you for the way that you have blessed and guided us and thank you for our family. by this occasion. b as special as it is unique. we pray in

jesus name, a man boy in looking back, sometimes i may, this was a difficult memory for all of us to unpack and try to address it. sometimes it helps, but one of the things was what were we initially concerned about in those early days? i still wanted taylor to be a happy little boy, and i don't know how he would be able to handle it. i didn't want the memory to haunt you all your life. obviously, the huge concern about tailors aged. you know, he was so glad whole. and so what is he going to have to go to her who i was young and i didn't understand what was going on at the time and it was difficult for me to process. and i looked back as like, i guess it wasn't the greatest naina shy. everybody are from, from me i guess a member and distance from people in his house. just the way of the way i've been

dealing with it but foot known through family and everything. it's all about us closer then i appreciate they all done for me is changing my perspective on life and i know that that. oh, i think about daily is how we're matthew. expect me to me an example. now what do you want me to live? as a kind of big brother, how would it warranty and

improve well, and we probably all needed to say they stay well probably needed to be able to express this. because to a great extent, we have suppressed our failings in order to be protective in order to hope all of this would turn out well for me. i oh the so

a law that way he is strong. yeah. jesus ah ah, i see so clearly. ah, it's so fucking lily to the balcony. it felt very warm from october

referred to it. sure thing. i remember washing the tree branches away. i felt peace for the 1st time. in months. i've got a telephone call from a detective about 2 in the afternoon. she was in intensive care and if they hadn't told me it was kristen, i don't think i would have known that it was. she was just virtually unrecognizable . it was the next morning when we went to her apartment, then i went out on to the balcony. and there were bandages bloody bandages needles, but the most dramatic thing i remember, and i still have

a very hard time with this. there was actually still a piece of her jaw that was on the, on the full or the apartment of the floor or the balcony. and i don't think i've even told kristen this before. but um that is probably what brought the whole thing most dramatically home to me to look at that balcony. now i remember those feelings is just unreal. it's a so unreal, ah thought about what it must have been like from my friends. i have to clean up, there were pieces of teeth, i'm phones and so much life. and i can't

imagine what heartbreak was said for them to have to face that it's so weird to go back in to that mindset to see that balcony. and think about what was going through my headed as i shot there of the gun i had ah,

when i'm in jail, you know, in mckinney briefly that i can leave in the browser and unlock the resume. walking down the road away down the steps to the last. norris i shot in a few more south swallow behind a pool, my friends. so screaming on the ground these graham is li. so look around the pole to our corner. i see 3 missed in it. like all 3 of those. so i'll pull my gun out slowly

and in missed she missed up. i turned around start shooting twice in her when i 1st got 10 gun because it was so loud. and i seen tamera's fall. they had to ground tennis, but i get to pick them up this funding. well then i look in a walk over there to was and then i see one is for the one the back nisha from one direction. so i just turned around as well. i was away, ah, when i 1st heard it and i saw it. well, the reason being this girl,

i always justify to myself that someone does something to me or try to take my life then it was justified everything i dental and their rulers. how many people lives? i impact my to get his life. oh, my belief is the in the dime. all the things that you have done is recorded. yoga all your good deeds are william bad ah

ah. a survival guide and the federal reserve still there you don't forget it. oh no, it's a recreation game where we get the rest, the 7 years bill, every year, i've tried to report imagine picking up

a future textbook on the early years of the 21st century water. the chapters cold, gun violence, school shootings, homelessness 1st, it was my job and then it was my family. didn't was my savings. i have nothing. i have nothing and it's not like i don't try. i look for resources, i look for jobs. i look for everything i can to make this pass and all i end up doing is passing time, the road to the american dream paved with dead refugees. it's this very idealized image of this. older america makes americans look past the dance that happened every single day. this is a modem. history of the usa. my america. oh, naughty. ah . ah, 3 guys coming to your house and they do what happened to appear. he gave whatever

measures. yeah. after you protect yourself and it was around you. the prosecutor tried to do everything he could to find charges to push. he asked me that because you guys were in my house and i didn't know if they were armed or not . it was dark windows were closed. i saw him standing there. i told him to stop, they wouldn't stop, they kept, i don't know where they are doing. and i said, okay, i mean in my life had it to like to say the whole thing or last about 20 or 30 seconds. and then i got ugly. oh, it took almost a half an hour before the police showed up in age. not going to come in and do anything until this scene secure in the scene was insecure because it took the guy

40 minutes to die. as a long time told him again, somebody he kept reaching une through his bill, it wouldn't. it wouldn't roll over. and he kept reaching in his pants. i didn't know what i was reaching for. could have been a gun and i have, i don't know what he was reaching for any stare at me any. he'd crawled towards me, new collapse, and i don't know what his intentions were. he wouldn't, he wouldn't say a word. so, you know, i was still a certified medical person's at time. if i felt the scene was safe, i don't know what i could have done, but i would have done something, you know, trying to help the guy. but that was the longest 3040 minutes in my life. i knew the guy was going to be down. i've seen enough death my life, my career. i knew there's there's nothing new to this guy

was i wish i could put it behind me and, and move on like never happen. but i know i never will. i don't think anybody ever good was here we did over it. i doubt it. i'd like to find somebody has loom

i felt i had become a burden to everyone. i now i had a bang in my room and case someone broke and i'm going to do and know what my phone is now annoying to end everything. and so wish pain on things have just gotten out of control. c i don't know any under way

something to walk out in the balcony and down. and you sit here for a minute and think about the faithful and other people that of me i'm going to ask god, forgive me for an hour. and i'm going to poland. i ah ah

and mom pulled the trigger and then when i'm not feeling any pain for me. i can't see my in i'm hearing my roommate screen. and then those 3 weeks later, i will go from a coma and i will create full. i survives

my stuff every day. i'm alive. i'm alive. her for as in . mm. i'm doing my normal

routine going to the bathroom. i can a shower, brush my teeth and get my hair done. as more matthew, us, he was in the bathroom as well. he was up on the counter. i'm not sure why is up on the counter. he just was a walk to my mom's room. i think i'm lying there on the underneath the left side of the med and i pay it up . and i walk back into the bathroom where the gun on my hands out of curiosity, is looking at it and trying to figure out what it does and how to work it. and i slowly proceed to the safety off. and then from there on, i talked the gun back, putting

a around in the chamber. and i just remember i matthew says to me, you know, that was a gift from papa to mom for safety. and i didn't answer and then i just hear a gunshot. and so at 8 o'clock, that's the same night. december 1st. one by one. we say good bye and i'm the last one.

so like why did leaned over with my forehead against his a little buddy. he's going to do great things for god. i love you. i'll see you in the morning and had a lot in a lot of ways. ah,

it feels like the morning has never come. hour to ah ah ah ah

ah ah ah ah ah ah, ah

news with the bye been ministrations decision to leave afghanistan was correct in long overdue. however, the way americans longest war ended is a different question. it was a botched affair. the generals will most likely never be held to account,

but alone marine, we can, colonel does face court martial, is this justice i see on the internet the allows all the problems and much was to invite everybody's lloyd. that wasn't do it. that was the feature that the people who designed the internet is owned by the way of life of reindeer herders leading a traditionally nomadic lifestyle in the tundra is similar to a parallel reality. while the men drive the carry, the weight of the household work on their shoulders. mother and she yes, we'll set you close. nice. however, in the vast expanse of russia, there is

a spot where a housewife could secure regular it. it's in the far north, soon escalate to a terminal and usually just fill with ah, you as politicians hold for new sanctions against russia over the no stream to pipeline up using most of manipulating the natural gas market. just days after a glitch to boost supplies to europe, dozens of people are reportedly killed in an apparent suicide. bomb attack on a shambles can know that it comes just 5 days after another time with and the european parliament pleases and notes apostles and not binding resolution. seeking to bind police use of facial reg.