from all our men, this is not such a match to replace nafig. oh, in addition, the most favorite female program erotic file erotic what are you i heard 30 years ago.

vasya tell me i'm sexy. that's how all my life no man

can stand me. vasya, your mother-in-law came to

your apartment.

once again i want to eat ducks flying ducks about hares demonstrates a new film alien vs. predators.

see you, that's because the real affection with the men is done by the girls, the future behind the cyborks.

i recently read an ad, convinced a bachelor will get acquainted with a grumpy, untidy and uncultured woman to strengthen his convictions. here is such a bachelor and who is this bachelor this man is deprived of many joys and the fear of finding them forever. this is such a contradiction of the bachelor's motto, you can't take us with your bare feet. the only plus of a bachelor's life is always. you know whose turn it is to do the dishes today. you know who will do the laundry cook vacuum and no conflicts. good evening, beautiful ladies, i 'll introduce myself right away. my name is arcadia

arkadyevich, here i am, i work in the laboratory of electromagnetic oscillations, and i will tell you briefly about my personal life. he hesitated without a pair. no wonder there is such wisdom, every normal man must have a second half. because the first one has a headache, then she is at work, tired. well, you know him for me, at least a quarter, but i wouldn’t want to be a smart fool, i immediately test everyone for a subject, you ask one literature what she read oh, and i love quickly, what she read mumu did not have time. i say who the author is chekhov alexander sergeevich i say the casting did not pass, my dear,

by the way, if the girl is stupid, she reacts easily to everything, enticements. yes, i have a neighbor. jora, he works as an administrator in a nightclub, and for fun he wrote an ad, whoever pulls up his skirt in front of the bartender gets a double cocktail for free. he says, how did we give birth all over the nightclub, when the bar counter came up five times scots, skirts, girls by all indications, i may have twins. it's the horror of being 18 months pregnant. before 20 you know many girls believe myself not promising and ugly, and here

one writes mom thinks that i am terrible and i have no chance of getting married and then comments. if your profile picture is on, don't listen to your mom, you're not scary, you're very scary. you don't stand a chance at all. you know, when a woman is insulted, i just can’t, i immediately turn on. yes, i recently rode in a trolleybus. uh, we have a weaving factory nearby, and uh, the women were driving, either from the shift, or you’ll shoot the female shift, i’m another man and take this man and go straight to the trolleybus and so you know. exhales with appetite and looks at the reaction of all the girls so there is nothing to breathe. so it means that they look at me, they say, a man. react. and i pretend that i am not in this trolleybus at all. it’s hard to breathe on your own

, and one of them just crawled into your eyes like that. well, do something already on you hope. and you know, i don’t know how to swear, i don’t know how to fight. i don't even know obscene words, and i remembered how i pressed the laboratory pouring water over novice laboratory assistants. i looked at him point-blank, without blinking, and so sternly said. ah, the semantic polyfurcation of this type in the style of lateral latent tritanists. oh, you are a believer, they are in trouble, the cigarettes are immediately extinguished. you extinguished it from me, you will answer, we will go out together the next. i say, you know , i haven't arrived yet. i think you have in life,

of course. i didn't even know i could run so fast. i drove two blocks. you know what's the most annoying thing. caught up after all no, you have not seen me as a fool. oh how i'm being bullied. this is my little secret. by the way, on the site women's secrets is one girl asks a question. is it true girls if you take your missus at night in a dream with two fingers by the little finger and squeeze and ask are you cheating on me? he breaks everything down. this is the truth and the answer is absolutely true, but for the little finger you need fucking pliers. by the way,

there are men who cannot be taken for anything, they are simply streamlined from all sides and dodge in any situation. a friend tells me he has such a familiar business man. e, the head of the enterprise, says not even to communicate with him. here we go in the car he has five phones. he immediately gives orders to everyone over the speakerphone do not insert the whole word and then a female voice cuts in, beloved, barely got through . how are you? he even stopped saying, well, if you dreamed, well, take it, she is there in a set of boots for 800 to break into a set or take everything already. he says that everything is already her, and the bag goes, as if a bonus, but for 500,000 2,500 all together up to a million 500. he says everything is her. you are my best. you are the best

a man in the world, finally everything is connected. a friend says i'm shocked. i tell him, wow your wife has requests, and he says, yes, i'm actually a bachelor, it's just some kind of woman in the number was wrong. and i say, why else did you allow it? he says, and i pamper women. i never forbid anything in life. by the way, i recently found a photo of such a girl in social networks, mm such. well, well, you know, beauty just keeps two kittens in front of her chest and i will give them a signature in good hands, and then comments. uh, i don't need to take both kittens. you you know, i also liked her there on the network, i think, maybe we can get to know each other somehow. suddenly, she

also read chekhov, alexander sergeevich, then , as they say, and the cards in my hands. i can’t think of female logic at all, because i can change my mind when i have the mood. i cook when i'm not in the mood. i eat, if my husband doesn't care, it means with a woman, if online it means corresponding with a woman, i know everything about women's logic. hello dear. just heard on the radio that a psycho is driving in the opposite direction. be careful alone. yes there are thousands of them female logic. started in a cruiser. he, you

people want to go where you can download. and it will get stuck, my bunny doesn’t understand at all what we are riding the elevator about. we live on the second floor, it's never clear, of course. there's the phone in the purse, that's exactly the bag

. i don't understand at all.

i take care of myself. i need to know how much i lost. i think my car won't start, huh? it seems to be him. didn't call, so lyudka recently watched on the channel.

mars so you didn't run away pose last year. and what did you eat, but do you have dumplings there? a? and you're all to scoff. listen , maybe our car wasn't stolen at all last year, huh? bullshit them there in the purse, as it should. maybe at the bottom she was lying around now yes, there is deeper somewhere.

hello will not. i forgot that 17 years i will be freed by the elements of the wind.

sometimes, after the credits of some sensational action movie or in films in which stuntmen participate, well, there is some indiana jones usually at the end, but they show footage of how it was filmed, how did it work? or how it didn’t work out, you know, here we are right now and we want to show you our kitchen want to look at it from the other side attention. drive, battery, flowers, don't remember what remote toilet paper, in my opinion, the main trick, please.

it was, if you asked to turn around your favorite soviet songs from the movies of the seventies, well, why are you indifferent to me, this is a period of such conscious happiness. hello andrey andrey

malakhov's evening show tomorrow at 18:00 on the channel. your baby suddenly needs russia, and ozone already has a weekly promotion for children, absorbent diapers, skip for 219 rubles. and coffee in grain jamaji for 549 rubles. junga fabric softener for 229 rubles. deposit the best interest in sberbank is a reliable investment. let's make repairs, make repairs more profitable to do on credit , let's do it, arrange interest for sberbank.

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business bank service. for me, too, a great exotic trip. ah, try it or not, fried crickets and grilled grasshoppers. now you are eating. yes, try on or not to catch or let go? maybe we should not. the main thing is to get on the road.

my hands do not work new circumstances cause serious discord in their relationship. do something for life. i understand how it all looks. midwife watch new episodes on monday 21:20 on the channel, russia

asked our editors to put together from stupid dictionaries jokes about women about such a lot to our pleasure. morning make-up is the restoration of the face on the skull hysteria is a female way to have fun without a small lonely woman. priestess

owner of excellent appetite prostitute road repair worker wife tamarov meet drunken husband lipstick is visible, as people is gradually deciphered. vociferous model woman

goulash unfaithful husband monkey man march 8 reserve mistress bagel deceived husband marriage is an event after which men stop buying flowers and starts buying vegetables very well. the mysterious woman

dura, this is the kind of woman that men are able to understand. a bad female figure an isosceles triangle of a girl of easy virtue standing along the road okhotny ryad a herring under a fur coat a top model in furs a long-awaited child a child who comes home in the morning the first sign of pregnancy is when you feel sick in the morning, and you don’t want to do homework.

new pantyhose nirvana twins gita and zita parasite love is a bullet with a displaced center that hits the heart, turns inside out the pocket and exits sideways. by the way, this is the oldest example of a stupid dictionary, i recently found it in my old notebooks. you won't believe it if i tell you when i first made this joke. can you imagine in 1959? mitina's favorite

toys are girls working on the internet centipede female leg of the fortieth size ram woman driving bad figure skater zimbabwe wintering place for women pantyhose drove

woman driving. in spanish dishes dishes of easy virtue who is lan unknown her husband? the cannibal husband of luda is expensive lyuba knows her own worth and the flowers are a belated bouquet from her husband march 9

i had a joke such a wife beat her husband on march 8 with two tulips. the heroine of elena vorobey apparently went on a diet. in general , she went on a diet on a grand scale, skewed the oak table , broke the legs of the stool and broke in the kitchen floor. and interestingly, one woman finished two weeks in one day, but just think, she says, she finished early so much in this word for the female heart merged. how much money was given. wait. i never cease to be amazed at the determination of our women.

i have a favorite anecdote on the topic of diet, how on the 8th of march a wife walks her husband on the 7th wants to hint that she wants to receive a gift from him, right and left along the main street, expensive boutiques, some minimarkets and a watch salon, jewelry shop, she stops her husband at the showcase of the car dealership and says kolya give me, please, tomorrow such a little thing so that i press my foot so that there is an arrow from 0 to 100 in 3 seconds. he comes in the morning and says what you asked, beloved floor scales. truth and, too, 8 march. now many will learn their stories, just family destinies on march 8. in the morning, as we start our day , we preen, a fritter, we throw a far corner, we put on a dress more polygant, we make a make-up comb, we go out beautiful, and my husband no. he congratulates the employees on march 8. we don't lose anything. we take out a bottle of sweaty

vodka from the freezer, cut salads. we are waiting for our favorite hour two days six o'clock in the evening 9:00 pm midnight, but herman is still not there, like a classic. we take back the robe. on what side of the make-up are we doing? what is war paint? a-la? predator schwarzenegger is waiting for sure you think you will come home. infection you are in any state. you won't come so crawl. i'll meet you. i congratulate you, let's go to the kitchen and get that dear domestic cast-iron rose and we become the exit door in the pose of anna kornikova, we are waiting for our beloved and again two nights. the door quietly opens with a creak, he can’t focus. well, somewhere in the second minute you see your wife with a frying pan and says you're stoking. this is stress, and in a state of stress we do what is natural, we eat, the truth is diet diet

diet. they just don't exist. you know, i noticed that we are special russian people, how we go on a diet. now i will say in the west, there is a food culture somehow people take care of themselves throughout their lives go in for sports limits themselves there counts calories. we, i meet a friend , a friend sits around, furnished with plates . just a self-assembled tablecloth. i sit down in front of her, she has it all. i say, hello tanya, you are not pregnant by any chance. i don't know, what are you asking? i say, you eat it, as if not in yourself and a brilliant answer. no, i'm on a diet tomorrow. diplomas are terrible people. he came to me a friend, where the doctor does not help the nutritionist with claims. wait. i you prescribed these pills, they are heavy, you drink them. well, how many until we hire. two

friends meet alone, like an exclamation snake. how are you until the husband cheats. this is a nightmare. this is impossible. these are such nerves so get divorced. i can't. i still need to lose 3 kg. and for some reason i remembered the words of a man of genius who once said very accurately. no matter how much you feed a woman, she will still fit into a thong. i want quotes from a wonderful song russian women should not lose weight, because our woman must be able to stop and stop a galloping horse and a drunken man

water drag our dear men. you know , there are no full women, there are frail men. thanks thank you very much. if you have a healthy appetite. don't break nature. don't buy yourself. you are your own judge, it is high time for us to understand who cool forms can excite. so why do yourself so let men say man.

and say it stop

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alpha-babank is the best mobile bank, freshly ground, freshly brewed small, cappuccino for only 35 rubles. only in the app is a tasty dot . years in the top deposit the best interest in sberbank a reliable investment let's do nothing will do. let's arrange a family. sabantuy will stop remembering. let's take a big

car, we'll rush to the altai mountains, there will be something to remember percent. forgive me, i'm divorcing you in the world , i'm getting married, my heart no longer lies ekaterina rednikova. this is your technique for few people who are suitable for irina goryacheva, i have never loved anyone's feelings maria kulikova, but

you will be next to me. saturday and sunday at 12:45 pm.

here is a notable number in my repertoire, a story from 1990, a writer, humorist arkady arkanov , a dream, vasily stepanovich, now it’s like this retro that young people can only understand through a translator. i give a transfer at the end of the eighties with food and many goods became thin in the country and the state was forced to introduce coupons for scarce purchases, that is, everything that was necessary for life, these coupons, as they said then , had to be bought on time. otherwise, they simply turned into a piece of paper. may god grant that such a terrible phenomenon never again arises in our later life. but as you will now see, we still did not lose heart.

we had enough strength of desire to be ironic and laugh. over this so, at least we were already morally victorious against the backdrop of anxiety for the future, somewhere deep in our souls lived hopes and confidence that we would succeed stepanovich had a strange dream, as if in the performance of marital duties. ions lost and marital duties are just those duties that from time to time you want to perform. regardless of religious beliefs party affiliation and racial prejudice.

not even zealous radicals and pacifists. no, yes, sometimes he will fulfill his marital duty, for nothing human is alien to them, according to the apt expression of marx, which can still be trusted in this matter. and now, as if vasily stepanovich turns to his wife. comrade katerina i'm here for you on a purely personal question from the region. well, vasiliev stepanovich here begins to explain that he lost these coupons and

asks to release him the bill for the next month. well, or in extreme cases, at worst, so to speak, the end. at a predatory cooperative price but katerina firmly stands her ground little state. these coupons are not for pampering introduced the main transition to regulated market relations. in order to combat speculation and the shadow economy to meet the needs of the still working population, no matter what. stepanovich goes to his old friend of all allied importance. and

he says to the cockerel, you, the cockerel, will fulfill your last marital duty 15 years ago with brilliance. your standard, you can say, in vain disappear to which cockerels answer. yes , for god's sake, vasilyevich, only i have a pink retirement trail coupon. you can only get kisses on the forehead on them. terrible upset vasily stepanov went down the street. it goes towards the center. marital relations right on the pavement of karl marx

what does his long complexion indicate ? stepanovich decided to go to the district branch, where the mind, conscience and honor of our era were kept, an old friend of kozyrkov's worked for him there. he said, here you are vasily stepanovich hurried, hurried to leave the party. and we were special for this business, we were given coupons. and they show him a special ticket, sealed in cellophane, on which it is written everywhere and with everyone. far north stepanovich

and woke up and saw that his wife katerina was sleeping, turned to the wall, vasily stepanovich looked at her for a long time with a careless indifferent sleep. and suddenly he realized, he got scared, his wife katerina was exactly like our perestroika. how to promise so always, please. how about an accident?

i immediately got up into the bushes with something good, dressed and forgetting to fulfill my marital duties, i ran to the store, and to sell coupons for sugar for butter for meat for bread in the sun for air for water on the mind, honor and conscience of our era. if you see a face without smiles, smile yourself, if you have no reason to smile, smile in reserve. if you are able to smile at life, life will smile at you smile if you are happy and sad. give yourself a little smile. smile because someone

really needs to get a smile from you.

what to marry 2 days will languish in the refrigerator so delicious so lonely. it is necessary to hire workers, one can not cope and materials buy margot gave the money. ah, well, understandable. well, we will finish the bank and a good life will begin quietly.

mom, you are already 5 and i will write the country here too large unique places many academy of sciences one. a gift for yourself and your loved ones, you will have time to buy a lottery ticket for 15 million, 15 million. hurry up the drawing to become happy.

the suitcase is so yellow and beautiful, and

instead of running to hug and kiss my son, i go to cook. excuse me, believe matvein, but for 19 years you can’t come, they don’t let him go, they don’t let him go. he's in the service. i myself went to him four times. do you remember, i remember, yes, it's not up to me now. buy me those pills for arrhythmia. i have two things left, in my opinion, yes. that's the most important thing, don't worry. and do not worry about trifles, yes, yes, otherwise the pressure will jump again. yes, it will jump. you don't know that my waves are yours garden insufficiency. so i want to tinker in the beds. so after all, the head will lead like that. i'm afraid, i guess. yes and why

did your boot break the lock? oh come on, i'll give you mine. they're pretty damn good to me. maybe a couple of times dressed something only nineties? and why they were great for me. and come on. no, thanks. okay, i'm running in the evening.

i don't understand san. what was it? why is it incomprehensible that the merger of our office with the vyselkovsky collective farm, the matter was decided for all of us to be made redundant, won won will retire, and you and i will not collect bottles on the street and do it in the country i'll still write a letter to the newspaper, damn it, what is it like to say, a healthy man, no work, no prospects. so i see, i did not want to throw. well, then they threw it in, this is a summary . there is only one long distance from the proposal. they us will never leave here. will have to agree to the watch. oh listen to the hell with this job, huh?

knives to do production, although who do not need. the last day i bought a lottery ticket. and what did you weld three hundred? imagine riding on horses as fast as the wind, leaving blue dust behind them to rush. they steppe to meet the sun. these mysterious wars

are called the scythians. hello, go to school, like a black hole flies there. everything in the restaurant. thanks, i won't be at school tomorrow, please. bring instead of me in the seventh in geography. okay, so i'm the same story. well there, it's laid down, you'll figure it out. okay, let's go. go. the fire department has formed.