[000:00:00;00] where on screens more than 600 people and 600 good deeds opened in st. petersburg, the all-russian youth forum of social vocation opened its participants, schoolchildren, students, volunteers, workers of charitable organizations, simply caring citizens from all regions of russia in the program discussion of current topics in the social sphere, exchange of experience and new solutions. in addition to the main program. everyone can do a good deed, from accompanying people with disabilities and helping with an animal shelter to preparing an audio file for the visually impaired list of those killed during the siege. a spectacular semi-final, russian danil medvedev triumphantly defeated the world number one in the us open semi-final, it was a strong-willed victory . carlos al-caraz had previously won 24 of 25 matches at the grand slam tournaments; the majority of the spectators in the stands openly supported the spaniard. but this could not spoil the mood of our athlete medvedev for the third time. the us open final has arrived and now

serbian novak djokovic will fight for the title. for the main events of the last seven days in the news of the week with dmitry kiselyov, see sunday at 20:00. this is news of the week and i am dmitry kiselev, watch on sunday. monstrous paradox why do ethnic jews zelensky read fascist collaborators as national heroes, that they exterminated jews in ukraine and why the west refuses to see it, they figured it out awesome. unless he's addicted to cocaine. intense battles are still ongoing . new waves of bloody assaults are stalling, as for the stalling of the counter-offensive. this is not slipping. this is a failure, so in reality , near artyomovsk, the forward line of the 150th division

groups south and workers, the main movement towards the front line begins at night . in what directions are we moving forward and how are the vaunted english challengers burning? in the american theater of absurdity there is revival, which is faster for trump or biden's impeachment and why in the latest election video of sleepy joe he walks zelensky around kiev, is he bisexual or what? well, this certainly wasn’t the first time for him. what other secrets will be revealed in this struggle for power? september 73, the military route to chile, according to the american scenario, is a turning point. this

everything was imported, of course, and from the usa. 100 years of rasul gamzatov, maybe when i wrote cranes, then i was born, where the national poet drew his inspiration, the directors decided to contradict the author and how dagestan

preserves these traditions and culture. hello sochi, with great joy we welcome you to our traditional festival of humor in sochi and today with you, as always, the charming natalya medvedeva is the magnificent nikolai f. natasha, i noticed that the city of sochi, like a magnet , attracts tourists from all over the country and nowhere

does not let them go. well, look , the pandemic abroad was closed, so everyone went on vacation in sochi, the pandemic ended, but then bam sanctions and again the resorts of the krasnodar territory welcome you. no, wait. well, what about turkey? can you fly now? eh, to turkey for example, for 2 weeks natasha, well, why fly to turkey for 2 weeks if for the same money you can calmly relax for a week in sochi in sochi our humor is taking place on which you are pure humorous genre and not just humor from the 20th anniversary humor. furniture and we announce

it's open. natasha, i visited the sochi market today and realized that only comedians live in sochi. can you imagine, on a box of grapes there was written cognac caviar next to boxes of potatoes and the inscription belarusian tangerines. the market is an amazing place and receives so many compliments. no one in my life has ever told me that she is incomparably charming. beauty queen goddess, buy peaches. as a rule, only caucasian men have this temperament. oh, yes, and now one of them will appear on stage, the charming and

pyramid-shaped avanesyan i can’t redo things, that’s why and sometimes my soul and body have rest and peace, two friendship and fun will also be just right so that i ’ll wait a little for us in bed and it’s time, gentlemen. it is you who always begin, so that the joy is not warm. my life is a river, don’t give it to the gentlemen. he 's probably bored in no way. and is it time, gentlemen? in life there is a stormy river and there are gentlemen, your women will no longer be bored; they will surely miss him. let them not let you get bored

to the top. the sunniest the warmest and most hospitable city in russia the city of sochi on it’s always good at any time of the year, but it seems to me that it’s especially beautiful in the summer, when we can enjoy the view of the sea surf and take in the sun’s waves. and, of course , hear a lot of interesting and funny things : a little girl asks a relative who has come to visit. oh, son-in-law kolya, how

good. it’s so good uncle kolya that we came to visit us. now we will have complete happiness. he says yes, what? why did you decide that? she was dad when he found out that you were coming to visit us. he said that he was the only thing we needed for complete happiness. and here another guest came to stay with his relatives. well, it so happened that he stayed for more than 3-4 months and i don’t intend to leave. why leave? the sea is nearby and you don’t have to pay for an apartment. well, the owners somehow hint to him and say, you’ve come here , you’ve been living here for four months, probably, well, seven months, you miss your wife, under this he says, of course, i miss you. i

'll call them today. we will all come here tomorrow too. you know, all the viewers all the viewers are used to seeing me always in the image of caucasian characters, it’s understandable but with my face it is very difficult to play kurnosov, a blond man from a russian village. but at the same time , vladimir etush played the caucasians. so much so that people still remember, splash with them. yes? and it looks like trash. honestly, do you understand? this is how he played the danish prince hamlet. that the question of to be or not to be for him was not to be and only to be and, of course, how can one not remember, vasily livanov, whom even the british called the best holmes of all times. and i also want to try to show you that i can portray not only caucasian characters. the fact is that i often tour

and sometimes find myself in funny situations. i notice a lot of interesting things, with respect to these peoples. now i would like to show some of the funny sides. i have a french friend from the city of leon, he came to visit us and at night we leave the restaurant. i say it’s dark, even if you poke your eyes out, he looked at me with such fear. why gouge out an eye? when you can't see anything anyway. an italian came to moscow and saw watermelons being sold on the street. it suits the seller. he says, sir, watermelons are good, sir. in it smells like expensive. who came? not one has returned yet. the local ran away to

the hotel. when i arrived in russia, i wrote in my diary on the very first day. yesterday i drank vodka with russians and almost died. the second entry in the same diary today is a hangover with the russians. lucia died yesterday. i have a very good friend, he is russian. eh, doctor, he only loves medical jokes and here is one of his favorite jokes, which he always tells everyone when examining one patient . good good very good. fine even though the patient says that it’s good, the doctor is good, that you have all this, they’re good for me , medical jokes

, a patient is being transported along the hospital corridor in a gurney. he says, orderly, where are you taking me? the doctor said to the morgue. so i haven't died yet. so we haven't gotten there yet. stop stop my nose is stuffed , big deal, i have everything blocked, my apartment is blocked, my dacha is blocked, my car is blocked with my snot. i perform very, very often in uzbekistan, where very kind, hospitable people live. i have a lot of friends there when i go there, my friends tell me their uzbek jokes. here is one of them, a traffic cop, who hasn’t earned anything, and is slowing down that day. grandfather, who rides a donkey and says so to his father.

why do we exceed the speed limit? children's son, how i could exceed the speed on isaac, and you know, father, i noticed that you hit the donkey with a stick. a. now a new law has come out and the step is that this animal is our little brothers. but you can’t offend them, or apologize to the donkey. or you pay a fine, grandpa, he went up to the donkey, stroked it and said, ash, where is i'm sorry? i hit you with sticks. i didn’t know that your older brother works for traffic cops. there are a lot of jokes. well, how can i remember an anecdote from the recent soviet past, when a young uzbek soldier runs up to the commander and says, comrade warrant officer comrade, warrant officer your wife has come to see you, he says, not to you, to you. e to us. she always

came to you today. i love performing in israel , they are also amazing people who make up stories about themselves, tell jokes themselves and laugh at themselves rabinovich goes along room in only underpants, his wife tells him, female, honey, but ugly, and the day is trousers , what do you, as a football player, want from them in shorts , now the guests will come, it’s ugly, he says, well, let the guests come and see. how do you feed me? she when well, in that case , take off everything else so that they don’t see them feeding you at the expense of you. tell your mara to randomly come to our house to fix the socket. and the fact that your yasha cannot fix the socket, ours cannot. i

can’t give him an electric shock. well, and finally , don’t remember us southerners. you know on in the caucasus, each nation speaks with its own characteristic accent. well , in order to remember how the armenians speak, let’s remember how the wonderful armenian actor frunzik of marker said, remember? i'll tell you a thing. just don't be offended. why don't you eat kefir? what don't you like? this is what the armenians and georgians say, they say the feast is a little different. a man comes out and says a toast to his wives. i was struck by 30 years, the guest sitting next to me tells me not to run away with us, but with my wife, and

with your wife for 10 years. who are the two meeting? one says, my name is givi six of my grandfather. and you and my name is igor through my grandfather. no through the twentieth olympic games. but seriously speaking, what difference does it make who is of what nationality? the main thing is that we all respect each other and can make fun of each other in a kind way, and then, as the great actor frunzik makar said, you will be pleased, and i will be pleased, and

we will all be pleased. thank you. can you imagine, natasha was on the beach today and saw how one woman took 50 photographs with a monkey as a souvenir, i wonder why she 50. with the monkey, the photographer simply did not have change with the five thousand dollar bill. and they told me this story: one woman found out that valerian repels mosquitoes well, smeared herself with valerian and went to bed. well, no matter how the mosquitoes didn’t bite me, but i still couldn’t sleep, the cats were screaming under the windows all night. they love amazing female logic. and now an artist who knows about female logic will come to the price. yes, perhaps absolutely everything about men’s too. meet the brilliant elena

stepanenko and in general, my sea nargiz is excellent mood, and the reason for this is a healthy lifestyle and cognac. no, i don’t drink cognac, i insist on it, medicinal herbs, girls, healthy lifestyle. it is very important. i ’ll teach you everything now, so i walk everywhere with sticks. when going to work with poles, go

to the store with poles with poles. i even swim in the pool with sticks as a brother to the trolls on my back. true, the coach keeps yelling that you swim with sticks all the time; in our pool there are already more one-eyed people than two-eyed ones. hey, girls, i’m relaxing in the gym this morning in sochi. i i ran 10 km on the treadmill, however, they told me that the treadmill had to be turned on first. i love sports girls. in winter i jump into the wire and swim. there, the first jump into the ice hole was not easy for me. i missed the ice holes. five times man he can

confirm everything. yes, i dived headfirst, but the sixth time i broke through the ice with my head, but got stuck upside down up to my waist. glory to god, the rescuer came running and saved me as a result of a rescue operation. he pulled my legs so hard that he became the father of my first child. - this is health. today i rowed boat. oh, the girls had mushrooms for 2 hours. and look, look, i have calluses on my hands. do you see? yes, and they shout at me, you fooled the boat into the water, push something rowing on the shore. well, come on, girls, most of all. i love yogurt. i ’ll teach you everything now, so

it’s become early in the morning, you don’t need an hour at 3:00 at 4:00. i drank six glasses of apple cider vinegar on an empty stomach. she covered herself all over with badger fat. and we begin a set of exercises by tibetan monks, girls start with the simplest thing : tell me, put your feet on your eyebrows. you put your nose in your navel and start with your tongue massage your tailbone. let's throw out all the negative energy with the cry of the shaolin monks. and at once there’s a lot of lying down for a run, you don’t

need 25-30 kilometers. in winter, i harden up girls, the girls and i take a steam bath. we are sitting in a steam room with a temperature of 200 degrees. we sit red, like crayfish, then we jump out of the steam room and swim in the snow, swim, and one day i took a bath and ran into the steam room to see the women in labor. it turns out that i ran into the construction shed, and there this foreman told me, of course. naked by the way, he is the father of my second child is now powered.

girls, i don’t eat fast food, carbohydrates , confectionery, meat, but my diet is very varied. dried boiled burdock, salted burdock, soaked smoked burdock, burdock, acorns . now it seems to you that acorns are tasteless, but after dried burdock they will go with a bang. i eat kilograms and there are no side effects. they are very healthy oink-oink and nutritious oink-oink. my guru is a hereditary

indian purebred hindu divi avtandilovich gagaridze. he also eats pigeons of a kilogram girl and recently showed me his lower chakra. girls, there is such a chakra there, my entire aura is sweating. in short, after that he became the father of my third child. okay , flour, eat as much as you want in unlimited quantities, but there should

be flour and dried acorns. it is very useful. it breaks my heart when i see people eating improperly. listen recently i'm walking alone straight. you know, he eats meat. so he’s just eating, he’s slurping, he’s salivating. it flies in all directions. i say, lord yes, what are you doing? how are you eating wrong? you have to eat sprouted medicinal herbs and sprouted rice. but the woman tells me, don’t meddle with the dog. she will bite you. like girls, i bring light to the world, but my husband says that i am talking nonsense. by the way, he recently left me. i have no idea. listen, i

looked after him like that. oh, he slept on bare boards with me, to improve his posture, i forced him to do breathing exercises, 40 minutes, breathe for 40 minutes, don’t breathe. and when i found out that heat treatment of food destroys all the girls’ vitamins, i began to feed him only raw beans, raw lentils, raw peas. we imagine he was immediately filled with qi energy and the girl’s energy is responsible for her career. and just think about it: previously, he was sitting at work, and 20 people were sitting around him, as soon as he began to eat properly, raw lentils and peas. that's all. he was immediately given a separate

office. i still remember my husband’s last words when he was leaving, he told me, “you’re a fool, at least take off your sticks in bed.” oh yes , and it’s a joke with him that he abandoned me girls, but how could he abandon his own children timurochka rustamchik and rollers. unfortunately, society is not yet ready for a healthy lifestyle, you know? so i was kicked out of this healthy lifestyle from work. that's what they kicked out. i can't understand it. can you imagine, look, i’m sitting at work. my feet are in a basin with turpentine on my face. a black mask with green onions sticking out of the nostrils wards off the

coronavirus infection on the head. i use watermelon rinds to help my hair grow better. i sit and massage my ears with my heels. you are , after all, the regional prosecutor. are you blowing up a court hearing? my friends, choose healthy lifestyle i also want to say, look, there are acupuncture points on the palms. and if they hit one another, palms like this. rejuvenation process

let's rejuvenate. because now i put them in my mouth for health, i eat chestnuts, shishkin and fly agarics. grandma is sad, she wants meat, meat, bones, harm, sausages. yesterday i stole the dogs’ bowls too, i’m seriously bored in nirvana, and i want to grunt in a restaurant. well, tell him it doesn’t matter

what we ate, the main thing is the people. there were all plums. thank you thank

you thank you hi i miss you. well, are you on do i look like a ghost? you’re watching the premiere on the russia channel and just offered to move in with him. you have no idea what to do? 20 on the russia channel, come on, all together. i really love intrigue. i'm glad i didn't get up because it will be interesting at 21:30 of the week it helps to cope with anxiety, worry and related insomnia. afobazole

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megamarket s sarah in the fifth diesel princess new saurs are already in pyaterochka for every 600 rubles. take it, change it, put it on pyaterochka helps out. how the weekend went off with friends to a neighboring city and we moved in took a ride, smiled, didn’t dance, treated ourselves to such pies. and how do you go out on weekends to neighboring cities russia.tra travel buckwheat in cooking bags uvelka for 49 on yandex market you need to dress correctly , a vest made of natural wool, gentle warmth,

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by phone or order on our website leomax.ru yuri shatunov would have turned 50 years old, we will beat his best songs when he started, when he came out even his legs began to dance like that, looking at us, the carefree pink evening of our local club was aimed at my garden. andrey evening show andrey malakhov today 17:50. statute of limitations tomorrow 13:10 on the channel, russia

i heard this story, one man at home hung a map of russia on the wall and said to his wife throw darts, where will you get there and we’ll go on vacation, the wife threw it. well, how lucky it was, quite. successfully we had a good and inexpensive rest and what a cozy and warm place it was, my wife missed and ended up on the sofa, we spent our vacation on it, but we saved money. great. i believe that you should not skimp on vacation. you have to choose the best, if it’s the sea, then black, if it’s a resort, then sochi, if it’s a festival, then it’s humor, right? and if it’s an artist, then vladimir vinokur

dear friends, hello today is such a beautiful day. you are so smiling , a huge greeting from my friend leo. despite the fact that he has been singing all his life, he hasn’t been drinking , he’s a guy with a sense of humor, because we ’ve been friends with him for several years now. it's 53 years old this year. well, he’s a little older, but i came as a soldier to go to college. and he, uh , some guy came up to me. i'm in uniform and says you should do it. i say, yes, i’m from the selection committee, let’s go audition. i haven't seen this movie. come tomorrow remember, here,

well, i followed him. some other guys gathered there. i show them what they dance and tell during the exam. he says there is hope, talent. eat. tomorrow we won't be late for the exam. i will sit, uh, on the admissions committee. well, i'm coming to the exam. the dean tells me, and you were a soldier yesterday. why didn't you come? at the consultation, i say how your commission didn’t come to me, the receptionist listened to that, but i don’t see him. suddenly the door opens and this guy looks in. i say, here he is the dean, when he starts yelling, leshchenko , close the door on the other side, these insolent ones graduates. i realized that the graduate was playing a prank on me. here. well, i did it out of spite and

now i became an artist thanks to lvoveanovich. well, the theater the theater that i direct is called the parody theater, so today we will show you parodies of the most famous and most popular artists. i will now announce the russian people's nadezhda kadysheva both. not a year has passed, the people's love is with me on the stage next to me, my husband is standing asking for creativity

, he is still screaming next to him, smiling, walking, the people are singing my path now. if critics still legalize me to help,

my ambulance, take it and change it, i will pick up my faithful guitar, just as i cut the saber of a song from my right shoulder. he sings the dashing cossack rosenbaum sashka from my last name for the doctor eh in his hands, crawling a little. if you hit

the vertical one, what do i need them for? it is the most fart in the world. and if i hit everyone with iron, i’ll be fine. this is such a saint and our country will remember how it needs

a car. a kind gentle look, a slight gesture of the hand, this is how my doubles always see me. so i ’ll announce my castings across the country. it just so happened

that leo is the king of beasts, at least in essence. i am russian nightingale, i will never become outdated. even from a year on, my voice will always be lost in my ears , leshchenko will be your neighbors, you have neighbors. the answer is simple. i’ll be like a superhero, well done. i want to tell you, i saw this pun in full better than anyone i can, i can only show it.

distillery is possible

everywhere i discuss this proverb with me, i make up water from it, the party says, now they shout. what a wedding without bilan pushka,

but the sound director is baptized again, because my voice always sounds so strong, that god is a microphone. yes we should

once they brought me a grain of magic in a handkerchief. i overcooked it in a pot on the windowsill. so i would like from there a yellow kronos tulip movement of the hand, and the back can always have a campaign on it. small country yes, i am big everywhere, but for you the king is dear to me, dear, natasha, every

sunflower is written every night. no, i don't want to.

i walk like this around sochi and kiss everything in a row, then some kind of white whale, damn, why don’t i kiss palma with my fathers? i'm pretty. okay, love will be everything, if it hangs around, it’s not

written to everyone, i’ll go out at night. i'm in a field with a horse rastorguev still didn’t go, the truth is not yours and the fool’s life, the young man sounds proudly eh hello well, that’s it, our hello to

help you is nice. quite everyone still, such as our dance culture maniacs, opening, then the easily humorous platform burns the unreal surroundings of superstars , is more interesting and we don’t know, we care, because today this song gives every voice humor, the truth is approved for itself cannot be canceled. yo-my problem is not stupid, so that life becomes easier. come with us to every city on the planet has become the heart of our abode, everything we do on stage is on you on

kind viewer. approved by our stars. and guys happiness to you and the most important peace in our house, your loving vladimir vinokur and

my star factory vladimir vinokur start weapons burning in the distance the ancient kurgan on the outskirts of lugansk, it was and remains a mute witness to the most important events in the history of the russian people, hurry up your horses in good time. good hour. good hour, liberated 80 years ago, the soviet army expelled the fascist

occupiers from its streets, as i was waiting for the thoughts of you to make me feel bright. help you, my love, i know don’t sleep about this victory festive concert for 80th anniversary of liberation. lugansk from the fascist invaders tomorrow at 11:40 on the russia channel i discovered two sea currents, global climate forecasts began, more precisely, when i realized that there is a whole sea of ​​seas in the world and i wanted

to learn about them, i developed an interest in science. mom mom well, you look just like your father and mom . these people have become family and it’s not about heredity, but about what you can pass on to your child, become kindred spirits on adopt.rf. national project demography. why is an elizbercard loan the most profitable in the country begins a new interest-free period of 120 days every month. make your purchases. give me my money back. so again and again free forever super rate of nine eight percent. apply online or

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a sanatorium, vacation twice a year and other benefits from the state. serving under a contract , he must stop this chaos and just from the prosecutor’s office, in principle, everything is not so bad, but the prime minister’s rescue committee needs to calm this enthusiast down today at 21:00. it seems to me that if our great writers lived in sochi, they would definitely shared their impressions, for example, gogol would have written. what russian doesn't like to quickly get sunburned on the beach on the first day? and tyutchev would say, i met you and that’s it. still no money.

alexander sergeevich pushkin sochi i remember a wonderful moment, but the vacation has come to an end, now another very famous writer will appear on stage and will also share his impressions. and not only about sochi is the satirical writer simonaltov, the unobvious last of the mohicans. do you now see in front of you a mammoth of russian humor? for probably almost 50 years now. i'm reading from a piece of paper what i wrote myself. i still remember the times when there were not only cell phones, but also no television. although there were matches already then.

this means that the only television channel was one monthly humorous program , around laughter. where? as you understand, the whole country watched the program, so the workers who rolled the piano onto the stage in that program recognized him on the street in the morning and took his autographs. i've been somewhere three or four times a year. that was enough to remember me. i remember once in a hotel a girl looks at my passport, talks about altov , i heard your songs for the first time. there was another story like this. i came all the time. naturally, from st. petersburg the station square there is a tour bus across the entire square a voice announces we invite you to an excursion to the vagankovsky cemetery visiting the graves

of vysotsky yesenin bunin and other wonderful people there are still free places. i wanted to give my wife some good , expensive perfume on march 8th, but they don’t make them cheaper to get one. we went shopping, searched , sniffed, and stopped at krymsky portvenii. in the evening, by candlelight, we felt light notes of citrus, the aroma of almonds, the aftertaste of doctor's work, sausage. how much does a woman need to be happy? this guy didn’t leave the casino for days, won rarely, usually lost down to a penny, then he bet his wife’s apartment on a horse and by the morning he lost his last, but

who’s husband saw him up close? i said goodbye to debts right away. in the end we were lucky. old age changes lisa beyond recognition, men don't care, and women are in panic insomnia depression alcoholism, as a treatment or something the turtle is truly a wise creature. the turtle is born outwardly an old woman and until 100 years old even has a wrinkled face. who can tell how old she is? she herself has no idea and looks so smart, as if she were reading shakespeare in the original. take the example of turtles, exchange alcohol for shakespeare it’s the second hour, but

the girl was waiting in the corner and didn’t come. the blonde next to her was freezing while waiting for the guy, asked her, yours didn’t come. she answered that it didn't come. we have been together for eight years, we live in love and harmony. our first toast to those who didn't arrive on time. on the strawberries are ripe at the dacha, but his moonshine is not there for the second week. beauty, the berry is just asking to be put into your mouth, your wife is drilling it. collect, if we are not sitting, i will devour, birds, how is it to take someone else’s, and on the other hand, how not to take it at night, so as not to be caught laying on the neighbor ’s belly with a crawling nail, the belly with steam, the frog bent into the mouth, but he took it in 5 minutes and ate the disgusting extraordinary. moreover, worms

for a week are not evil, as well as in the ark they fought over the toilet. it would be a sin to punish the solution, but my wife itches, like a mosquito, you have to steal on time. well, at different times i was performed almost all our pop stars. now the performer is left alone. this is me, i am grateful to fate that i had the opportunity to work with the brilliant actor arkady raikin, i am the author of his last play, peace at your home, this phrase is relevant at all times. and so i always think, this is a short fable, a parable that once sounded from the lips of the great actor the crane and the crane. why is it that when you fly across the sky, people smile, they say flocks of cranes lady but when we walk and

the cows turn up their noses and grumble the herd, cow, rushes, what's the difference? well, you compared the offended one to a crane. we are flying beautifully like a crane. and you will come in a random herd that is not aesthetically pleasing. buryonka thought, the crane is right. like a crane, people will say, there’s a cow, a flock has passed. the next day , the cow, return home in a somewhat strange formation. take it. you're stinging, little cow. she looked back and mooed for the cows to straighten up, to keep the line, people came and scolded them with a fence, she was completely brutalized, the brute. they occupied the entire street, stayed on the ground for a cow, someone said flat cakes, look, look the flatbreads just lay down like a crane wedge

. the last words of the cow, joy comes to the villager and we can at the dacha our wife’s bathhouse is enough 60, personally, i’m for you at 80, and my son is less than 100 zamorozkovsky. well, that’s why in the bathhouse not mathieu discord began to hang, an old long thermometer was given to his wife, a square one, a beautiful french one was brought to his son, and now, finally, the bathhouse consent because when the long one shows 60 square 80 french, at the same time you jumped for a hundred, that is, the unity of three in one and the same bathhouse, but everyone is steaming at its temperature. it was like a journalist, a journalist interviewing me. says

: please tell me, all great writers. they composed their masterpieces. who was drinking? who is on drugs, but as you say, i work the old fashioned way, i drink only tea. she says, well, that's what it feels like. thank you. the artist who will now appear on stage asked to be announced modestly, so i will not say that he is the sun of our stage

; i will not say a word about the fact that he is the most handsome and charming. eh, the most beautiful, charming man, i won’t even mention that he the best natural blonde i've ever seen in my life. i will say it modestly, as he asked. wow i didn't believe it. i hope to meet you so that love at first sight exists in the world. i believe that this is only in the movies, but someone else

happened to me. this is married and now i have one thing in mind, so that you will always be weaker in the world, you will be painted more beautiful than you , your soul will be strong. i won't enlighten you. the change of bad weather saved me. good news brightened up my hopes, my home, and

bright songs immediately began to sound in it, so that we would always be together you are more beautiful than you are more beautiful you are hot for me. you

will not be more beautiful than you will change you in the world - it is you who will create you that will stop you in the world you will be more beautiful than you are beautiful. you are too hot for me to not be in the world. it is precious to create you. thank you

sochi hello, i miss you. well, you look at me like i’m a phantom, well, the premiere on the russia channel, there are thoughts about it, i have other plans for things, no, she’s very good. he simply offered to move in with him. you have no idea. what to do

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where's the money? for those who survived the nineties , property capitalism is a system of the future that does not depend on us at all. seryoga must depend on alexandrskaya to sort it out i want it because i am for justice. i am for the people 93. soon i am dmitry kiselev this is news of the week. we remember the past, show the present, look to the future and everything is fair for the week with dmitry kiselyov on sunday at 20:00. let's sit back and watch. today i saw a wife

screaming at her husband on the beach. i told you, eat fruits, and you drink wine. my husband says he makes nice wine from grapes, and grapes are a fruit. so calm down. i ate almost a liter of fruit today. the artists who will now appear on stage never argue in life, they argue only on stage, when a family duet, popular authors and artists, natalya korosteleva and yuri khostov play husband and wife. how do you like it? let's go home katya. let's go home. let's go home. katya, you said we’ll go to this cosmetics store for 5 minutes. we've been walking for 3 hours already. katya , why do you need so much cosmetics? please tell me, katya is already at 10,000 here.

so, i haven't bought everything yet. we can't spend that much on cosmetics. something needs to be removed. that's what it is. tell me it’s with oil, that it’s jojoba. this is a deodorant. i i earn that much per day. katya that is, i have been sweating for a day that you have not sweated for a day. i think this is a device, what is it? is this a mustache for midgets? who is this? these are false eyelashes. what it is? what is this eye shadow? how many eyes do you have 2? why are there 8 shadows? so it’s that glitter for the eyelids costs 750 rubles

to wear, they’ll run out , so you’ll wear it all the time. glitter for eyes why do you gnome spit cost 850 rubles? katya is organic - a cream made from completely natural ingredients. so read the composition of natural components phenol formaldehyde. vet, penza barbiturate nephric acid katya gluing cast iron there composition one to one. look, in addition to the extract of rose petals, someone has it in their glue, but your cream doesn’t have it katya well, i need

an inexpensive cream. this is a sample. they give it a try for free, if you don’t like it, don’t take it. and if you like it, then take a large bottle. otherwise you immediately take a large bottle for life. that every year the bottle gets bigger and bigger. and you have less and less. you need a brush. this is the one i chose. here, what is this three hairs dead rats 1,200 rub. katya, i bought a brush at a hardware store for 50

rubles. in compare and i think that you put on makeup every morning, there for half a day. this, of course, is such a pendyurka, the driver of the facades in chaining this one will paint mine two waved. that's it . we're ready for everything. not a rat, it's a squirrel. it couldn’t have happened without the squirrel, belka came and said, katya , buy me this canoe for 1,200. i also recommended these proteins, yes, 400 rubles. what is this skin moisturizer? why can't you

moisturize with water? water does not moisturize; water dries. academy of sciences record new knowledge, water dries. it was my katenka who opened it. yes, they understand , the universe is waiting, katyushenka, what kind of ugly creature is this ? this is for 700 rubles. what is this hydrogel hyaluronic regenerating? well, right here it’s written in russian, hydrogel hyaluronic regenerating patches are applied to the eyelids. well, if

it's fine then. one pack will end, i 'll open the second, then the third. some kind of scam everywhere, deception everywhere. here's what it is, read the ingredients, ingredients: hydrangea extract , guava oil, mangosteen fruit extract, balm with minerals, mango juice. are you sure it's this? necessary components in toilet paper for kittens. wow, yes, it also restores, natural blush. expression wrinkles katya

tell me, please. what do you like? here help me choose a perfume, what smell you like. look, she was splashing herself with samplers. look at this smell, these, these, then my hands are already over and it’s splashing on my legs. which ones should i choose? oh do i like this? you're stupid, i was cutting sausage this morning. and walk around like this with sausage, how much of the bottom what did you pick up here. this is what we have is that? this is the woman over there in the mordovna sour cream. what it is? for women over 70 years old. this

is the turn the old woman is making. and there is a mask for my mother. your mom needs one mask. mask of the devil. she can decorate it alone, she has collected everything, what is it? what is this for 850 rubles. what is this cuticle oil? is it yours ? why buy this kind of cuticle oil? i don't understand this road yet. let her buy it for herself and there’s plenty for my cuticle. is that what you call it? you will need three liters, you underestimate

your ways. the cuticle is right here near the nails. here. you see, i don’t see where it is, you don’t see it, because i don’t have it. if you don't have cuticles, the reason i don't have cuticles is because i buy cuticle oil. no why, because you don’t have a gun well done five. why do you buy oil? because if i don't buy

cuticle oil, my cuticle will grow. but i will grow a gun. and look what you're buying. that's what these tweezers are for plucking mustaches. do you understand that it’s like the cuticle? katya, my dear, my dear, you don’t need to buy all this. you understand, you are a victim marketing for you, they specially put the light here, turned on the music, sprayed it with perfume , so that you would strive here, it would pull you like a fly to this, you understand, katya, there is a lot of unnecessary stuff here, what is a shower cap. are you freezing? do you wash such and such hats in the shower? is it that we have this perfume over there? a temptation that

will tempt you? alcohol 75% how much do you need hey you, what are we cleaning hydrogel hyaluronic regenerating ones? oh, it's all gone. throw away all glass containers. we throw everything away and take what we need. let's go home. i need it all, i need it all. understand please, you don't need any of this. nature created women perfect

from the very beginning, you understand, my dear katenka. all this was invented by marketers in order to make money from you and me. they're pushing it all away. man understands us. he values ​​a woman, first of all, not the kilograms of cosmetics that are applied to her, but her beautiful soul, her own female soul, do you understand women? my dear, you are truly beautiful, just the way you are. katenka is sweet, i love you the way you are. what i am i'm wearing primer and concealer now highlighter foundation corrector blush, powder

mascara eye shadow eye glitter, and this here is my photo, where i am without makeup. the basket we take with us holds everything. natasha, i’m running, i

’m still waiting for you at the checkout. this is how useful it is to carry a photo of nikita dzhigurda with you. thank you. do you know that only sochi schools have recreation classes, really? and what do our classes do in these lessons ? swim in the sea; sunbathe; whoever gets sunburned the least gets an a. and in high school he teaches high school. how to inflate a mattress and how to scream hot corn, so that it can be heard even in adler, excellent students without exams enter the sochi university at the faculty of khachapurology and witch kebab . they graduate with honors and immediately go to a tent right on the embankment. now a comedian will take the stage. he’s definitely an inventor , he’ll always come up with something that

will immediately make everyone laugh, jack-of-all-trades artist gennady vetrov. thank you, friends. thank you, you know that i often use a child’s tool for an adult that i couldn’t make money on. i tell people this is absolutely adult tool. a friend just brought it to me from vietnam from the biggest vietnamese one, and then he says, listen, i didn’t want to tell you. well, tell me, actually, i didn’t buy it for you. i wanted to give it as a gift, take it away. well, they took a risk, i say and correctly interpreted valuev and so there is one keychain for

the keys. friends, i want to suggest that you can, by the way , applaud here, right? i want to offer you a new miniature, which is called very simply living in the information age. we catch this vibration, living in the era of information. we are catching these vibrations, i record interesting things and comment on them musically. at the very beginning, the funniest story that happened on the road. i voiced it once, but today i’ll add a little music: a traffic cop stops a driver with a trivial question or yesterday. i don't drink at all. get out of the car. he goes out onto the road, i don’t understand, spit on the road. you are not here, you

got scared, you spat, the traffic cop is free, go. here you can barely think, why did i spit? now i’m telling you, you think, why did he spit? yes, i’m asking a traffic cop i know. he says gen so this is a free test, if you don’t collect the dry stuff in the morning. how did i react? you shouldn't be laughing. yesterday i caught three of them and they couldn’t spit, you know? i tell this at one concert, everyone laughs, and two serious men are in the front row. but it’s not funny for you, but we’re really not afraid of traffic cops, but there’s no point in being afraid of them. i’m perplexed , i don’t even care if i get drunk, because i take the subway and trams, there are situations in life that provide very funny information. i have one

friend who constantly walks and repeats one thing and also a phrase. well, why am i not kuala, well , why am i not kola fedya, explain yourself. he says, gen, do you know what day i’m talking about? no, i don’t know better than you, so as not to be upset, i learned from statistics that 22 hours of sleep. the koau's gaze darted to his own wife, ale, and he realized that fedya had married a koala. do you know what practice shows? yes , men are very often sad in life because of women. yes woman because of you. i found out that according to statistics, men smile on average only seven times a day, that’s all seven, how many women smile a day? what do you think? constantly this is a fool already. sorry all the time. this is already a diagnosis: the woman

smiles 64 times a day, smiling. sometimes i'm not on business. i don't know the state of rest. i can't help it. this is the structure of my skull. a woman’s smile inspires, and it also disarms, just as a woman’s tears disarm. yes yes yes. i have a great aunt, she’s constantly on edge. she is a very tear-jerking woman, she has a very nickname , you know what niagara i say is rosa bonifatievna. well rose is a beautiful flower bonifatievna, patronymic honor of the pope nikolai bonifatina, maybe tearfulness can go to the ophthalmologist gennaevnyak, you understand all this. i'm even a woman's secret weapon. when i cry, my

albert is ready for anything. just recently i made a new fur coat for myself, yes, from a mexican jerboa. so my mother cried for 2 weeks with a food processor, really, yes, that i had to cry for a year and a half? yes, and then they say with tears, doctors remove carcinogens, it moisturizes the eyeballs. i say when you moisten your apples. there's such a antonovka is ready. well, in general, as aunt rose said, the secret weapon is tears, and if your husband is afraid of your tears, the tear tap never closes. there are situations in life. i have an acquaintance whose wife tests it every day, which means she does this after work. he comes. well, vityushka well, as vityusha looked into my

eyes, vityusha looked into my eyes, vityusha didn’t drink today, vitya drank. well, that’s it, no at all today zina, she’s a very uncertain answer. see, very insecure. come on quickly. tell me the most active emusine formation with an open caldera on the territory of iceland. the slightly backpack over his shoulder quickly repeated the name of the volcano. well, okay, i drank zina, i just need

to heat up the beer a little and i understand everything. those who ilyusha's greek dances are tin tin, what do you want him 86 there are situations in life when the whole organism is prostrated. today it’s impossible to imagine, i ’m surprised how the older generation used to live, yes, and now it’s all thanks to

the mobile phone. well, the mobile phone, of course, very often interferes during concerts. do not know how from other artists. and you know the most common answer from spectators who receive calls at a concert, it is repeated. i can't talk now. i'm on a branch now. recently i had three ladies sitting in the front row at a concert. you know such aged women, well , you know this age from the series hello autumn. i'm ready. here i am, the three of us laughed throughout the concert. it’s just that when you’re in the mood , your mobile phone keeps disturbing you, when there’s a woman, who ’s stopping you from enjoying the work of gennady vetrovna. yes, son, sashulka, i say that he needs it, yes, he’s nervous, when i come back i say how old the icicle is, she’s 37 i’ll talk. she gives her a mobile phone. i turn it on

loud and say it. sasha, yes, you, your mother and your friends let gennady vetrov go to the concert. well, yes, they are here at the concert, be calm. i 'll look after all three girls. what a pause. who is this? i say to the wind man, i don't know who you are. well, your jokes are moronic information. i notice something interesting and applaud with you.

i have guests and not alone. thanks, girls. so nice two flowers. but different bouquets only a genius on september 6, yuri shatunov would have turned 50 years old, we will drink his best songs from our local club were aimed at my garden. hello

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call or order on our website leomax.ru. i'm a person who knocked down the cinema on weekends, where to call? do you have an address? which? no, i have the address to save others , who in general and what is the group’s attitude to explain. everything

is decided by the prime minister's rescue committee at 21:00 the hundred were divided. this is how it should be, people don’t quarrel and people spoil, they can’t hold back the east . i don’t know anymore, it’s just that you

’ve set the bar very high. come on, all together, this is our everything at 21:30 on the channel, russia. let 's play association, i call it a musical instrument. who do you associate this instrument with? come on so the violin is a grasshopper. and i thought you were going to say that stradivarius made a violin, and a grasshopper sawed on it. we must respect the work of musicians. let's continue barrel organ papa carlo a. i thought, you say nikolai baskov baskov sang a barrel organ, and dad carlo played it. as i say, we must respect the work of musicians. well okay okay accordion. but here i have only one option. i don’t know another person who plays the accordion so beautifully, and

you are friends too meet peter drang

uh -huh you know kolya recently i was at the zoo and saw an announcement about feeding crocodiles, visitors are strictly prohibited with a fine of 1,000 rubles. poor visitors. and i saw such a sign on the beach, the administration put up things are very worried, but still does not bear responsibility. only humorists could write this, i think i know one of them,

the satirist writer alexey tsapik. steppe oak tree the robber nightingale sits on an oak tree, half of its teeth are broken in its muzzle. no the hand is rewound the leg is dislocated nearby zmey gorynych all three muzzles, all three necks are broken in one knot tied wings crumpled ilya muromets rides guys who are you like guys, i ’ll tear this goat now. get some sleep. everything is fine, guys. how good it is, who took notice of you. and i am the goat of this now ilyusha and zai are not be nervous. everything is fine. everything is fine. dus primy had dinner and went to bed. okay guys, that means i'm home. if anything, who comes to you

, you come to me, and i, yes, yes, ilyusius or i went to the nightingale i sat and sat then a sober man like a man. she's eating. thank you when the lord created adam. he looked at the work of his hands for a long time and repeated it all the time. wow, what a handsome guy he turned out to be. what a handsome guy, we urgently need to make him a guardian angel and quickly created it, eva was in a hurry, he covered it with clay, he didn’t even smooth it out in front of him. i was looking for, you see this handsome guy, keep him and be always nearby, women misunderstand this somewhat, and therefore sometimes they give such a command to their husband to be nearby. i said nearby. our wives these are our guardian angels. well,

they usually applaud here, i will repeat. our wives are our guardian angels. thank you, they protect us through life, they give us amazing advice. so i bought it and it sings to me. don't be rude to my mom, or she'll tell you off. i saw a beautiful woman and closed my eyes. i won’t be at home ; you decide to go to a neighbor’s house and have a snack first. drink milk and eat cucumbers. one woman told me he says when my husband and i left the registry office. he says if i find out that you cheated on me, i will hang myself and return it. and what? she says that save him 17 times from death. people treat men and women

completely differently; husbands and wives walk down the street. both bandy-legged, i can’t save you, the baby carriage passes between your legs without catching, what will they say about the woman. oh, how crooked-legged, oh-oh-oh, and about the man, the cavalryman. the man made a career, the woman advanced in her career. otherwise, we don’t know how the man is walking and everyone is happily saying, a handsome man, a woman walking and everything in unison. look, women's brains are working. according to a special system. this brain even scares a woman, because my comrades told me about it. he

came to work, the accountant moved him, the girl was young, and said, misha, i’m pregnant with your child. oh, are you crazy? you and i have never been with you. you think that you are talking, the mouse has never been with you, but what are you yelling at? i'm shocked myself. only a woman could hang notices on the door of the store, she's out of trouble , i'll be back when we're full. they are amazing they are an amazing woman - she is always in the center attention, a scientific and practical conference on physics, a beautiful woman sits on the presidium, a short skirt crosses her legs and sits and occasionally changes many places. then no one in the hall

could remember what the speaker was talking about. i couldn’t remember what he said there. beautiful women's legs stopped the development of science for 30 years. women are always trying to lead us in the bedroom at 3:00 am, a woman's voice, after all. and when we’re lying there, it’s starting to bother us? and vitya the traffic cop starts pestering, where is the insurance, and where is the first aid kit? women have amazing memories, my friend divorced wife. she is his general practitioner and six months have passed, and he needs a certificate of license from the clinic there. he came to the clinic. she saw him, was delighted, invited him without a queue to her office and issued a certificate. the certificate said it was a result of a domestic injury.

not only the cerebral cortex is affected, but also its wood. keep the car away. the men are still trying to maintain some independence, the wife tells her husband. hey, they said on the news in mexico, a man beat his wife with a python, and the snake died, he didn't looking up from the football, he says, well, with a snake, it’s clear with a python that you must. we were told very correctly, we need to stay close. everything is correct. we are handsome, you angels, this is an amazing time. the main thing is that we are not

caught by your husbands and our wives. superstar and my superhero sergei lazarya hello sochi arrows you will be at night the white fog directs me to where we will only be with you. i don’t care let them say that i

resemble passion so beautifully, girl luna and she, as it were. i'm speeding towards you, my heart beats stronger. we stand like confetti blood born saint, we were afraid to run away. i don't

care. let them say that she is not my kiss. as if. i circle and pay, beautifully, girl luna and she doesn’t remember. lord don't remember me. don't remember him. forget, don’t remember how

sweet you were with him, the sky is furious. hello on the russia tv channel news in the studio irina rossius and the main topics for this hour happy moscow day we are waiting for our beautiful majestic and at the same time young capital vladimir putin congratulated muscovites on city day and launched several