today it rings, the highest point of the city flowers do not return and the anniversary of krasnodar what is the cossack capital famous for this week sunday 20:00? all news is always available on the media platform, we look in the application or on the website look.ru together we follow the developments of events in russia abroad. stay tuned.

good afternoon, how pleasant it is to say this word good, because our entire program can be assessed in one phrase, a parade of humor means a parade of goodness, even if you start watching our program in a bad mood, then as you watch you you will begin to get better. just before our eyes. please tell karen, if some bad person does you harm, how will you answer him? i will answer him kindly in a cultural manner. oh well done. i will answer him kindly in such a way that he will not find it enough. you were joking just now, right?

i was joking, really good, please tell me i was joking, of course i was joking, because our program is humorous, and a joke is the seed from which a full-fledged ear of goodness and joy grows, moreover , today we will talk about culture . well done taxied again good day to you all we start on the stage with yura leon izmailov meeting. so i want to ask, what is your favorite? what day is your favorite holiday of the year? for example, yours? don’t even try

to guess, because the most favorite holiday of any person is his birthday. well , of course, if it’s your own, and not someone else’s, because if you have to give someone else’s gifts, that’s right. yes , i'm not against gifts. i love giving gifts. well, it’s just that every year it becomes more and more difficult, everyone has everything. you don't know what to give. after all, all the gifts are divided into two unequal categories, one category. these are the gifts that no one will give us. and the second is gifts that are not needed. so i personally found a way for myself to make gifts. that's all they give me for my birthday. then i give gifts to everyone for a whole year. well, here it’s important not to get caught , you know, not to give it to the person who gave you this very thing. i gave one of my friends this cast iron ashtray for his birthday, which means about five kilograms of this

bear with an open mouth. he almost killed me with this bear. he threw for the fifth time returned. well, such a connecting rod bear goes around in circles, in general i have to tell you, of course, among gifts, the most difficult gift is a gift to the wife. gift for your wife have you noticed that when you come to the store to buy some kind of gift, the saleswoman asks you for one for your wife or a more expensive one. and these wives are more expensive to me, because by the price of the gift she determines how much i valued her now. therefore , i need to give you a gift, dear, but for little money. that’s why i have been giving you a gold ring with diamond. well, it's gold, it's kind of expensive. and a diamond, that is, for little

money, is given to me by a gypsy friend of mine at the market. in second place after the wife, of course, this is a gift from the mother-in-law. jokes aside here because my father-in-law, for example, tried to joke about two years ago. she tells him, for my birthday, my beloved hubby , give me either a juicer or a coffee grinder, in general, some kind of electrical device, and he’ll take it and make a joke. an electric chair will not work. well, and most importantly, the joke didn’t cost him much, it cost him. taxi to and from the trauma port, we also a cast of a pair of crutches. well, in general , the joke was inexpensive. we can say that she is an educated, erudite woman, the best gift for her. this is a book, especially if you put more money in it, and she gave me such a box last year. yes, and

he says he uses a tek razor, a vest with 59 blades. i opened. it turns out this is an ordinary kitchen grater. she actually celebrated her husband’s birthday and didn’t give anything. i say, well, well, you have to pamper your husband at least once a year? that's right she says, no , you need to pamper your husband every day. every day you need to blaspheme him or cherish him; this makes his withers or watering can grow. and now such a fashion has begun, in general, to give gifts not only for birthdays, but for any holidays there on new year's day on march 8, we gave our chief accountant at the company such a souvenir vodka in a chic box for the new year, chic vodka. well, to be honest, i can’t resist. so, they drank all this vodka, poured water into it, corked everything and gave it to him, and he turned out to be so kind. he

poured this vodka into our glasses. and we drank this water like fools, quacked and screamed. eh ok went. well, the eighth of march is a holiday with tears in our eyes, because the entire female team needs to give gifts, there are all sorts of champagne, chocolate sets, shampoos, perfumes and a bottle and whiskey for the boss with the words you, of course, are not a woman, but rare. there was a lot of laughter, well, really, i was the only one who laughed

, and not for long. until the glass reached his head. may 1st is the holiday of workers' solidarity. i gave an inflatable woman to my friend, a worker who was brutalized by loneliness. he cheated it himself and gave it to me, the next day he returned with the words, stupid, stupid can't suggest a single word in the crossword puzzle. well, finally, on may 5th, it was my birthday and everyone came to visit me, my employees and neighbors and friends, and gave me all the gifts. i looked at it and was stunned. that's all that i gave them for a whole year. everything came back to me. you know, i think that culture should

be introduced on the roads, right? for example, before i got behind the wheel, i decided to start small and master a bicycle. well done. i biked very fast and rode it like lightning. what does it mean like lightning zigzags, or what? did you always hit a tree? the main thing is that you’re not driving anything, and where you’re going, because it’s much more pleasant to ride a bike to the beach than to ride a mercedes to work. i absolutely agree. and when i was already behind the wheel of a car. i hung a sign in the back, dear, the first time i was driving, i passed my license on the fifth try. be careful and everyone politely let me through and said something politely. i really didn’t hear it,

but they probably said something very, very nice. well, of course. by the way, our artists are also all very polite people. now on stage one polite artist will come out and say something pleasant and funny on stage sergei drobotenko meets. my friends, there are many ways in the world to make a person stop drinking, you know, coding, hypnosis , drying powder is nonsense - it’s all there, at least one proven folk remedy that always works to make our

person stop drinking. he needs to be really scared. i'll tell you one almost fantastic story on this topic. before the new year, late at night, a woman returns home after a corporate party. i really like this phrase: corporate party, what used to be called a simple , understandable word: booze. now it’s so hooligan, well, the essence doesn’t change. like on the 16th floor on the outskirts of the city, on the eighth floor there is a lonely fire. whose window is the kitchen of the local janitor? where at this time there is a corporate party for three, in particular there is a discussion on the topic what is called delirium tremens? the parties come to the opinion i quote. now, if voices are already heard

from the darkness, delirium tremens is already the woman hurries to the entrance, it’s cold, she misses her teeth, and hiccups attack her. she runs into the entrance and runs up to the elevator. he separated from the entrance a long time ago. he lives his own life. she wants to work, the lights go out in the cabin, and the woman is 16 for a minute, so she approaches this elevator with hope. press. today is not her day yet. having let out a scream from a wounded elephant, she begins the long , painful climb to the top. svetalom she remembered every step in person. at the same time, on

each floor, she stops to spit in the elevator. the elevator mentally sends her everything higher and higher on the 15th floor. i don't hope for anything she presses the miracle button. the lion rushes towards her with a joyful cry. well, at least one floor, she enters the cabin and presses on the sixteenth door, they close and the elevator goes to the first, on the first the doors do not open and the light goes out. that's it, he's tired, the woman silently slides along the wall of the cargo truck , hard to figure out what she should do at this time , someone's uneven steps are heard in the corridor. footsteps approach the elevator, someone begins to nervously press the button, a woman without a second thought talks about the booth. don't press the elevator works. a pause, after which a remark is heard

: these are the bastards no, damn, they replaced the answering machine , they set the steps into the darkness. the woman is trying to doze off, what else can she do? at this time , a local janitor comes out onto the landing on the eighth floor, getting ready to go to work, and presses the button. the elevator rushes towards him, but for some reason the light does not light up, but he wanted it that way without realizing it. what gift is being prepared for him by the janitor, swearing as he enters the dark cabin, naturally, he doesn’t notice anyone and presses the first door to close and the elevator goes on vacation. starts pounding on the walls screaming. well, at least one mug would wake up from the darkness, but i’m not sleeping. it’s getting cold,

the terrified janitor asks the darkness. who knows here such coincidences happen, probably once in a century, she decided to joke, she says, someone who has delirium tremens. i bet you won't guess what the janitor asked in the next moment. he asked you to me. the woman remembered that there was someone else here forever. yes , i hiccupped, but the janitor had a shovel with him. he starts waving it in the dark, screaming. leave clean. well, what's a woman's reason? answers. i couldn't be happier. 2 years have passed since then, the janitor doesn’t drink, although he doesn’t use it, that means he’s working, that means, they say shock correctly, that’s our way of speaking.

to solve these riddles, what kind of expression is this in a cultured person, the form should correspond to the content, what kind of riddles are needed for a man to behave as a man should, and a woman, both in form and content , was at least a little like me, one such familiar-looking man. suddenly, for example,

the money runs out. oh oh found the content. but the artist who is now will appear on stage, the form of the performance absolutely corresponds to his talent, because andrei barinov meets on stage. hello dear friends. i would like to talk to you today a little about hype, there are such artistic songs. this in itself is some kind of hype, because the text is such nonsense, and now i’m talking about a young man. the singer is a rapper and you probably know him as a matrank. rain

you see, many smile and i didn’t even change the text. now i’ll try to change it and you won’t feel the difference, jellyfish, we’re friends. jellyfish jellyfish cockroach cockroach cockroach cockroach my, bro, my, bro lyubov uspenskaya sang with the young reuter saigu and i will now gladly perform for you this parody of wonderful artists. see you for

many years now. true, our sinners conquered the courtyards and got everything possible. only if suddenly, through the beds of fear, i’ll run away from you, as if the cheetah doesn’t need anything like that about you, but to me it’s as if you’re not even russian

and you went to the concert with your grandmothers in a mink. thank you i love you with love. but no one ever will not defeat our pop king, who loves to hype. you all know how he does it, so i haven't said everything yet. and the colonel ran in the way of the king. the embarrassment disappeared in childhood, everything is simpler. career

more and more longer longer doubts disappeared i'm trending on youtube thank you very much, dear friends. thank you what happened to the premiere on the russia channel if women are beautiful, my calling is to simply help you and what now if

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those who recognize themselves are dedicated to even saving the world. according to heaven, composer evgeny martynov would have turned 75 this year, and we remember his most touching songs. thank you that she will remain in your soul forever? tell me cherry. why love hello andrey evening show andrey malakhov today 17:50. i

took a few days off. so, we’ll get everything right here now. you are here the house at the end of the rainbow premieres today at 21:00 on the channel, russia you know, lena, i noticed one thing? the more cultured a person becomes, the more organically he perceives the environment and even the animal world. oh kare, from afar you start saying what happened to you again. imagine putting water on to cook pasta, so don’t wait very politely and jokingly told the cat when it boils. let me know, this is a muzzle, after a while they come running to me and start to go wild. i ran to the kitchen. the water is boiling. so what if now i’m afraid of him, my

friend also has power over animals. one day, with the power of her thoughts, she drove a tiger into a cage; this is impossible, because this can never happen. and i’m telling you, she drove the tigers into a cage, helen, tigers don’t come in a cage. games can only be striped and you need to know this is not important, but with this quality you can challenge anyone. this true, you can cause a storm and a hurricane, but now with the power of your thoughts. i will call on stage a beautiful actress, my favorite artist. meet the charming and unique elena stepanenko

oh, i divorced my husband and turned to a marriage agency. they selected a candidate for me and came for a date. and it turned out to be my ex-husband. it's worth watching. why did you write in the ad that you don’t have children? i say, because when i wrote the ad, they were in the kitchen at that time. why did you write that your favorite hobby is cooking? i say, i didn’t mean to cook, but there is, and you guys, what do you write in your advertisements, i’m looking for a beautiful, stylish,

well-groomed, well-read, sexy fur coat for my apartment car. and most importantly, faithful and selfless then the question arises. and you told her: why did you never appreciate me? i remember on march 8th i even gave you a necklace. i say, yeah necklace. that's what you thought, it turned out to be a collar. i went to my son’s school , gave money for a repair excursion for gifts, and when i came home and found out that my son studying at another school, huh? he says, what did you do when i asked you to call at work and say that i was sick ? you said something, but you don’t remember, right? i don’t remember you

said, he’s sick now. and when he sleeps off, he will call you back. he tells me, what kind of text message did you send me when we quarreled , and and you left for the whole evening, what did you write to me? you left, where did you send, i behave as you called me, and why didn’t i listen to you before? do you remember, i asked you to make me a sandwich, please make it for me sandwich. i’ll just do the little thing you told me to do. whatever you get, you can gnaw it down to the required size. and when i said that i went on a diet because i would only eat lobsters, truffles, lobsters, what did you tell me? why are you frivolous, eat money right away? you were rude to me all the time, when i was running after the minibus, i tripped and fell into a puddle, what did you

say, you think you can swim faster. quickly, you are generally one of those men who gives flowers to his wife only twice for a wedding and for a funeral. and you're still alive. what are you talking about? of course, i forgot what a wonderful gesture i made to you, when i said, choose any gift for march 8th. just make sure the name starts with the letter sh. and you chose a fur coat, a hat, little noises, boots and shawls and cones, we lived in perfect harmony, then you entered my soul, then i came to you. i say, yes. do you remember how, when you were drunk, you suggested decorating the apartment for the new year? yes , you said enough to throw the firecracker into the vinaigrette. and when we separated, i returned

the ring to you. remember what you said? where's the box? box, and in general you have men life is like a zebra, blonde, brunette, brunette, and we have a zoo of women. donkey goat, bunny. you didn’t appreciate me, and by the way, i never cheated on you, i stubbornly stuck my neck out and didn’t believe you. let's meet a man you think. here she is, my soulmate has been found. but it turns out that it was just someone’s stub that got lost. it’s like

feeding a second child, giving him something to drink, doing laundry and putting him to bed. and why don’t they give maternity capital for it? yes, he says, listen, but at first you and i lived together, we even had a rule about buying groceries every day. i day you worked out day they drank, day they ate. and after that he proudly said, eh, if only you were in the army, you would understand me. i say, yes, i beg you, if you were in the maternity hospital, you went nuts, went to the store and asked you to buy a loaf of bread, if you have eggs, take a dozen. what did you do? you came and asked the saleswoman. give me a loaf, and there are eggs, she says, then there are 10 loaves,

because you are stating it incorrectly. do you remember you sent me a text message, 3d eggs? i didn’t understand at all whether i wanted to go to the grocery store or to the cinema. do you remember this letter to me? wrote? he says yes i remember. yes, i just decided to check on you. whether you love me or not, i wrote that i was leaving you and put it on the nightstand and hid under the bed, waiting. i think he will come and read it and pay. oh, he’ll get upset and call his friends to complain. you came and saw the letter , read it, then took the pen you were scribbling there, then put it down and whistled funny melodies. she took the phone, dialed the number and said, hello dear. i'm coming to you, as for this fool. finally. i brought him up to condition, and he left. that's it, honey,

bye see you later. and she left. i crawled out from under the bed, and read that you were in the letter. i see your legs sticking out from under the bed, i went to the store to buy bread. he suddenly laughed and said, listen, i was embarrassed to tell you, remember, in the summer i lived at the dacha, and you were in moscow. but i decided to go and see you. so on the road i see some guy voting. well, i think i’ll take it, i’ll take it to moscow, i took it and suddenly this guy says, and i’m here to see one while her husband is at the dacha. i was hit by an electric shock, i said, what is she like? well, something like this you know, she’s so interesting, i think, well, definitely you i ’m saying, but my husband is some kind of fool i think, well

, definitely i’m asking, what’s her name, her pussy? well, that’s it, i think i’ll kill both the pussy and the cat , i stopped the car at our house, i say, come on, get out. he looked out the window and said why, if i go out here, i need a completely different place. so i say, oh, you didn’t appreciate me. my friend galka was weird when she found out that her ex-husband was going to marry a young neighbor. she knows how she took revenge on him. hmm , she married the neighbor's father and became a fast mother-in-law. oh, we talked word for word. we're with him all evening. it even brought me to tears. oh, the viburnum is blooming,

it’s gorgeous in the field by the babaya stream, but so far it’s a draw. and suddenly he asked so thoughtfully, listen, no one called me. i looked at him and said, lord, yes, who needs you, except me, come back, especially since i wrote in the ad that you are 30 years old. and i’m 20, you and i still have our whole lives ahead of us.

i'm culturally embarrassed. why do you remember how i suffered before my first meeting with the girl. you know, i really wanted her to accepted me as i am, well, accept a man as he is. maybe just the military registration and enlistment office. and what words do you need to find so as not to seem impolite to a girl, you don’t need to complicate things, if i liked a man, i ’ll come up and tell him. man, i liked you, that's all. now he liked his problem and let him get out of it himself. and

if she got offended and left me, then a woman can, but a man, like boomerang , will always return to a woman if he is abandoned correctly. i sometimes look at myself in the mirror. and i would like to be irresistible, that is, sign up for a fitness club to pump up my biceps. what do you think you need to pump up in order to become irresistible, just that, in order for women to like you need to pump up oil or be as irresistibly talented as the actor igor mamenko is dating? i'll tell you this, our brigade of combine operators is divided into three parts, drinking coded to me, this is coded twice. so that's because

they were coded twice. well done to me more than anyone else and i started my life, they gave me three trips to thailand for me, for my wife, my mother-in-law said that she he will definitely go because of his talent. this is her favorite african country, her dream, she says , to see her homeland, kangaroos, and all our things, too, smaller. 29 cans of stew are also bigger than a mother-in-law’s swimsuit. we arrived in thailand , checked into a hotel, ate stew with pasta and went to the beach. there on the beach, vacationers were riding on an inflatable banana, when my wife and i got on the banal instructor said that we need to wait for six more people for the set, then the mother-in-law of the banana joined us, went under the water and dragged the boat with her together with the instructor, the shark attacked the mother-in-law

; unexpectedly, the bite on the back was so huge that the shark received injuries and immediately sank to the bottom of the spectacle when the boat was being pulled by a parachutist. hello, she thought for a while, three thais walked in anticipation with double leather belts and said goal. the mother-in-law began to disperse the gear on her way , sand castles, umbrellas, to the gaping public, running up under diana , she tucked her legs and walked over the water at low level , sinking two jet skis and three catamarans, when the mother-in-law moved away from the shore, the people on the beach froze in horror, she rushed straight into the side of the oil tanker, the tanker, seeing the threat, sounded an alarm horn on the right. the mother-in-law, apparently, allowed her co-servant to gain altitude.

she was just on the tanker, when the parachute lines of the tank burst, i thought that my mother-in-law’s relatives had arrived. somewhere on the fifth kilometer, a young baboon attacked us and tried to take away a basket of food from my mother-in-law, for which he was severely punished. she stuck his head under her armpit and went for the baboon choke. he immediately asked for mercy and showed his mother-in-law his citizen’s passport. vietnam somewhere on the ninth kilometer. we saw a huge ziruga tiger sitting under a tree. he chewed something, he said, whoever is not afraid to feed the beast the sausage will receive a chocolate bar and took out a loaf of boiled sausage from the glove compartment, after 10 minutes the tiger or sergeevna

mir had lunch, sitting in the shade, forward the sausage. and the tiger had chocolate, the next day we arrived at the water park. my wife and i went to the hill and invited my mother-in-law with us, which turned out to be a big mistake. my wife and i moved out the complaint flew into the chimney and flew out into the pool from above after the christmas sound of the varnish peeling off. motive's monstrous speed, my mother-in-law, flew into the pipe. we didn't fly out of the chimney. she was stuck in it from behind , inexorably gaining, the water below turned everything around, including the stuffed anteater, the canary's wings, pushed it away against the cage, ran to the exit, forgetting, what can fly and then burst out with a scream?

they served seafood there, we ordered alma-arol, next to us there were lobsters or germans helping without tongs. lidia sergeevna put her amara on a piece of bread and ate it the whole sound was as if someone in a washing machine was rinsing a crushed autograph when turtle soup was served, he formally asked a turtle with a shell, will i pay if i pay. the mandible

of a german, lying on a plate, the owner of the restaurant asked his mother-in-law to sign on her shoulder in a whisper and make a tattoo out of it. the german paid for everything the next day. we went to the ocean to say goodbye to thailand and threw coins for good luck, so that my mother-in-law would return here again, threw a can of stew to the ocean, and i realized that now we would return to thailand in any case, how can you determine the degree of culture of a person at a glance if you see him for the first time ? well, for example, if a person is walking with a violin, then they told me in the news that

yesterday, not far from the philharmonic, two violinists beat a boxer, you need to start yourself. if in principle, i am ready to understand the difference between a horse in apples and a goose in apples. so you are a cultured person. and if you act correctly, culture can be introduced everywhere, even into cooking. so, when i tell my wife, i’ve added too much salt again, she gets offended. means, loves it how you have to love it to over-salt the cake, there’s a lot of salt. the only thing you can’t have too much of is music and songs, and that’s why there’s humor on stage in our parade. we meet stas piekha. the best

handsome man you say. i want dreams about each other. what did you think, the shore, the floating boy asks to carry you for many a bundle. at the last knot the thread in that salvation will not tie us, at least it holds us and the thread does not break.

so salvation for two. i can forgive you everything. i just ask, i hear. i want whatever. true syllable from each other

along the river he asks you and that’s it. in that salvation

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a reality, big changes at 11:50 on the russia channel before anyone else. i can't believe it. i'm so guilty. it has nothing to do with you, but they will find the killer. you will see. we watch all episodes only on the platform from the application and on the website dear viewers, having realized that it is impossible to be considered a cultured person without studying the culture of the world. i began to visit various secluded corners of our planet. i absorbed all the cultural characteristics of little-studied

peoples. i left all the deserts. jungle valley. steppes. i went through everything that was possible. yeah, dangers probably awaited you at every step. oh, i was on the verge of death more than once. one day, the new one was deaf from thirst. i met a local resident. how to get to the source? i whispered, and he said, what day is it today? i say monday, here you go dear, right in thursday. turn left, one of my friends, only she decided to explore the world by waterways . one day, during a terrible storm, i feared for my life. she asked the captain of the captain. how far is it from the nearest

land? it’s very stormy. i feel very bad the captain is saying nonsense, only 100 m. and from which side the earth was being questioned, my friend below answered the sea wolf nerves nerves nerves cannot withstand such loads. we urgently need positive emotions. let there be jokes apologize laughter on stage natalya style this number is dedicated to those who survived the most terrible cataclysms, volcanic eruptions, tsunamis , earthquakes or apartment renovations. good afternoon, my dear builder friends. i am the owner of

the apartment, where your friendly construction team will be renovating the old house, i am worried about the wiring. there is no need to worry about the wiring, vodka is full of wires alone, because. i ask for art to decorate the apartment. i chose the style of the rococo era, and i will have it in my office. inspired faces, i don’t believe that repairs are as terrible as they say, moreover, you told me that you are professionals and easily. complete the repair in just 2

weeks, six months have passed. i asked to increase the area of ​​the bathroom, well, it’s not at the expense of the staircase, damn it, the elevator goes through the shower cabin. lord, what is that statue in the corridor and they ordered the statue, it was the foreman, the cement fell. uzurbek, i asked you to put up photo wallpaper. i gave you two sets of painting masterpieces for the living room and fairy tale characters for the nursery. well, you mixed all the sets. now ivan the terrible is killing winnie the pooh. let's lie naked with saibolit. breastfeed

old man hottabych. why are you a mirror? so they attached the mirror low. this is how you should understand the horizon. they are along the floor. i'll look like i'm at my full height. that's it, a kitchen machine. i'm not blind, i see that the stove. why granite with the inscription? rest in peace? yes, because you drink. you don't dry out. you drank everything in the house, vodka, cognac, even a hair growth stimulant. you all have hair growing out of your mouth. bas-relief ancient greek gods at

olympia vasya, i understand that you served 10 years in prison in mordovia. why are the gods on olympus, squatting in sweatshirts and smoking? i asked to depict a panel of fishermen on the lena. this is a river and i have already been brought to such a point that i am looking at the picture, death. pompeii and i think , lord, the dactanta is almost entirely different from what i have in my apartment. 220 volts

, you said, mistress, we’ll do everything in two weeks 18:45. need a goat. a construction goat is a stand like this , you know, wooden like this ozorbek i ’ll explain to you in russian the stupid piece step in prison. you've already got me there. what do i

have now? half his head is already gray. oh. god yes, be damned with the renovation. i was kicked out of the art department. because i said it. what's most important about michelangelo's statue of david is that david's hands grow from his shoulders. no uzurbek. who connected the tap in the kitchen to the sewerage system. you don’t cover the paint, well, it stinks.

and the lemon is so beautiful. baby, you're calling me to marry, my eighteenth wife. now, wait, just a little bit now, but i sold my car to pay for this wonderful repair, and what will we drive to the registry office

? i think that all our viewers know that cultured person. she will never cause trouble to her loved ones and will not disturb them again. well, there are a lot of such examples. my friend for a minute, she dropped by her husband’s work for money, did not find him there and , in order not to disturb those around her, with questions, took all the money out of his jacket and went to a walk to the shops, and in the evening it turned out that my husband had been working in another place for 3 months. exactly the same mistake. i just opened the door and tell me what the result is. well don't scare me. whose door did you open as you opened yours? the door to drive out the bee resulted in a flock of two mosquitoes and representatives

of the sect being let in. brothers in different ways need to be very careful of surprises everywhere, but the next participants are our couple. yes, valentina korkina and viktor ostroukhov will give us only positive emotions. stand stand ah ah oh. oh, here we are at home, finally oh where where i don’t remember anything, but i don’t have the right to speak. the doctor said not to force it and your memory will return. yeah, you have to remember everything. so oh, you can only say a hint. well, how do you recognize the situation, a o no, it’s dark here, right, right, the doctor said right away, it’s not by chance that he’ll be scared. now we can meet. and who, like me, you just

hint at, found such a button next to you. oh, one more thing, i realized, we are in a freight elevator. what is this? and what is this, just a hint, the kids were waiting for you, a delicious lunch, clean beds.

and who are they cooking for you? i have a car, yes, you can’t part with a hamer with a hamer. and what is this motor in english, actually, you have a lada but without a hammer the car drives on it okay, i’m still an oligarch blow. and here's another there are oligarchs with whom. sleeps in the same bed in the same bed. i'm a bastard, i thought. i'm not a servant, i'm yours. well, are you making eyes at yourself all at once

? are you an ass to the eyes? i don't remember myself. well, who am i hinting at, are you my rightful mother? well, are you right away, if i lost my memory, doesn’t that mean muta? okay, who has eaten too many pears? euring, is there such a word as man? and if you cut it off, who will be the result? you are such a slanting death. who dares

to come up to you and said, offer you a hand to get used to you, an organ transplant came off to to yourself. and you didn’t even have a bed at home. i lay on your old jacket and itched. why fleas? hello, i don't remember anything. i don’t even remember that we had this furniture and no dishes. i prepared something, and we squatted on the floor, barely moving our hands from one bowl to the window. i am an uzbek vegetarian. i am an uzbek drug addict, weed. i

mean, all kinds of salads, dill, parsley, greens. well, like a goat, it started about my legs, that there are no such legs in the whole world. do you really have no associations, there are associations of the cavalry in the first room. look at the legs mention, i remembered the wheels, you need to change the last resort, the doctor said, you need to remember the day when you lost your memory to restore the situation. i'm ready, do you remember that morning you got up to have breakfast. oh, i got a hangover then. let's get up, sit down, pour it.

oh, i’ll take sin and pour it on my soul. yeah, i don’t have a drink, just something flashed, i sit down, pour it. drinking hurray you remembered my name, but you can’t pour out my last name. that's exactly what you said to work then. i returned home. you washed the floor and then you said something about where to hit the dirty boots on a clean pallet. oh, and then you did something else, remember?

where am i who am i a monster with a scythe with white slippers bug bug i was always treated by professor krasnov the best hello on the channel, russia

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hurry, limited offer. call or order on our website lyamaks.ru. pregnancy, if i find out about your child, leave me, i will let you in, don’t you dare tell me. farewell tomorrow at 12:50 on the russia channel when difficult trials come into our lives, it is very important to unite. each of them has their own story and for them, probably, like a mother, there is a story that everyone should hear ice. i remember well when we were sitting in basements for 7 months, you were going crazy, uh, all these

shellings. i always knew that i had a protector who protected me and my mother very much from monday to thursday at 15:00 only on the russia channel, do you know that something will happen behind them with the spear of a child? we're talking about culture now, right? let's talk about food culture. let's say it straight. i like it when someone extols the taste of, say, one product. tell karen what product it is especially close to you. yes, i’m not talking about myself , one young man in an advertisement claimed that the new cat food has become even tastier. i got the impression that at the beginning he ate the old food, but he especially

liked the new one. i even wanted to call the editor at that moment, but i was very busy with my doctoral dissertation. karen are you writing your doctoral dissertation? no, it’s just that at that time i was crumbling the doctor’s sausage for the cat. and as for my favorite product , i’m ready to recommend buckwheat porridge to everyone without anything without nothing naked or what? i ask you, lenochka well, don’t take me literally. i wanted to say that you need to eat buckwheat and that’s it. you don't even need to cook it. cook. we need to eat, we need to, and we still need to announce the next number in our parade of stars yuri askarov throughout our lives, you and i have listened to a huge number of wonderful songs performed by different singers, but recently

a colossal number of new young performers have appeared on the internet, who delight or we are not always pleased with their creativity. now i suggest you set up dialogue with me will sound absolutely real songs of new performers; your task is to try to continue the words of this song as smart, educated and intelligent people. girls, obviously. so, beautiful girls, let’s work together. the first song went downstairs with a strange realization. wanted, wanted what? beer beer, suddenly it’s so good to have another drink. what if you really still have barbecue in brest? you have a good rhyme. brodsky is simply practical. yes, so that they understand what we are talking about. here it is, the original, attention. you

almost got it right. and this is the beginning of the lord's good attention. here's the next song let's go. is red square visible from our building? it can be seen, germany. and also the meeting room. excellent. and from our window you can see red square. you know, in principle, people are educated and intelligent, right? choose a rhyme, but in the original , here we go. red square is visible, and from

our building you can see another building why , when what to think, you can see another building, let's move on, attention, next song we work in crimea me, putin's house together, and then and then i'm sorry, what? and then soup with a cat, but because and then we’ll go to the madhouse, but i liked the madhouse better, and the correct option is attention. yes, what can he give birth to, let's move on to the next song, attention, we are working with you and

the space station is still an asterisk, clearly. where are you where else attention is the correct answer let's go. foreign cars, well, but we drive zhiguli cars, and you mostly answered the stolen reward with such clarity. it feels like you grew up with this song. what did we come here about? what car and where is it from?

attention is the right option? i'm wondering if he bought a ticket or not? let's move on, attention. my boys are waiting in the room, boys, everyone has something to eat. pants, so, in my opinion, you came with him. no, everyone still has pants. friends, the answer is perfectly correct. attention, let's listen to the next song. light me up. i knew that this answer would be given, the guys

, the men, proudly danced loudly and clearly, the girls. you have some option, my boss, jewishness can happen. yes, more barmaley. fools who is the nightingale? well it practically to where the gay is? yes, but the correct answer doesn't matter. goat anyone else shish kebab? so you still want the barbecue course there at the beginning? yes, for a long time

at concerts it will go even better, right? attention options. myself, well, that could very well be the case. attention, the correct answer is the next song. it is simply, well, incredible, filled with the director's attention. i understand that it makes sense to think, yes, super duper. three times super that popper super with roots changes the song so listen to the answer pay attention. if you

think that's all you're wrong, there's continuation let's go. it can move endlessly. well, you know, so that you remember today, so that you definitely don’t fall asleep. the song sounds absolutely real, your task is to continue the words of this song and finally let’s go to the road. this song is called strong, why do i rock it so much? i see that not only are you hungry, but you already want more. listen to the answer, right? this

song is called little green. why dont know? and applaud yourself that we were probably brought up and grew up a little cool song thank you with an increase in cultural level you know, i began to understand more deeply various works of art. you know, they began to touch me to the depths of my soul, and i take everything on faith, i can’t understand why this is happening, you understand, this is called deep immersion material. but tell me, please, for this immersion in the material they can go to prison. you start from afar. let's tell karen what happened to you again, didn't

do anything at all. listen, i started feeding the swans bread crumbs. tell me, is this a crime? of course not. uh. i just got into it half-starved existence of swans. they arrested me for this. so who are they policemen? and they wrote about this one who threw bread crumbs to the swans. as a result, swan lake was torn off, they always have the depths of their souls for these unfortunate people, don’t be upset. now get into it again and the next number is announced. meet irina borisova and alexey egorov so what happened to you to tell? no,

maybe not all at once. i do not understand anything. take turns speaking. comrade investigator, do you understand, my neighbor? maniac yes, yes, myself i saw how in one program about the trial he was sentenced to 20 years in prison. i’m an actor, he was recently in a show about a trial. i really played the role of a maniac,

who, according to the script, was sentenced to twenty years, imprisonment immediately after the broadcast, i decided to note. this is with friends in nature. well, i marinated two buckets of meat for the barbecue, took everything i needed and left my apartment. comrade investigator, when i watched a program about my neighbor , a criminal, i decided to take a walk, i got dressed i left my apartment and called the elevator. how suddenly out of nowhere? maniac i went into the elevator, said hello to my neighbor, well, i put two buckets of shish kebab, but i remembered that i forgot

to take an ax. phew, i asked my neighbor to just wait a couple of minutes and return to my apartment. comrade investigator, two buckets of dismembered meat stood at my feet, and the neighbor was already returning to the elevator with an ax. out of horror, i pressed the button for the first floor. i'm almost back. well, the elevator suddenly closed and went down. well, without hesitation i rushed to catch up him down the stairs. comrade investigator, when the elevator stopped on the first floor, and i heard it. a strong rumble on the stairs. i

thought there was no need for witnesses and i pressed the button for the top floor. me: i had almost reached the first floor, but the elevator suddenly went up. well, i gathered my strength and realized that the neighbor was apparently. she remembered me and decided to return. i gathered my strength and rushed up the stairs with the ax. comrade investigator i decided to take refuge in my apartment, but suddenly i thought of leaving two buckets of evidence are useless, i took one of them , got out of the elevator and began to open the door of my apartment. i had already reached my floor when i suddenly saw that my neighbor was brazenly

trying to hide in her apartment along with my kebab. well, out of anger, i whispered, “i’ll kill you.” comrade investigator, i couldn’t open the door of my apartment out of excitement, when suddenly i heard an ominous sound of murder. but i was not at a loss. i threw a bucket of evidence at him and jumped into the elevator all the way, but the doors closed or went down. well i'm ready with his strength and almost a moment later he was already on the first floor, but accidentally knocked a pensioner off her feet right at the elevator. who was carrying a can of

red paint, comrade investigator , can you imagine when the elevator doors opened on the first floor, and i saw a terrible picture. on the floor in a huge puddle of red ear , a half-dead old lady lay dying, and this monster was sitting on top with an ax. when he saw me, he whispered, “you won’t leave.” i pressed the button for the top floor. i apologized to the pensioner and grabbed an axe. and rushed up the stairs and reached to her floor and saw how this impudent

thief was again trying to hide in her apartment along with the second bucket of my shish kebab and began to approach her, but slipped on the scattered kebab from the first bucket and fell. he threw the ax in her direction. investigator, when i almost opened the door to my apartment. when suddenly this monster, with all his might, threw an ax at me, like a tomahawk whistled, over my ear and stuck in the door. my legs gave way and i lost consciousness. i don’t know how it happened, well, the neighbor collapsed, like

mown down. although i clearly saw that the ax didn’t hit me. even an ear, so as not to frighten other neighbors. i dragged her into my apartment and decided to give her first aid. well , because i was covered in paint at the barbecue, so as not to stain the victim. i threw off all of myself. he took off his dirty clothes and started performing artificial respiration. mouth to mouth, comrade investigator, when i came to my senses, this serial scoundrel. completely naked , he did whatever he wanted with me, pushing me in the chest, then

for some reason in my mouth. i understood. and to avoid further bullying, with all our might she grabbed him with her arms. and legs when i was giving her artificial respiration, the neighbor unexpectedly hugged me very tightly. with everything possible, well, i thought that apparently she wanted to apologize to me in this way, but i could not accept this apology. after all, at that time i already had a beloved woman, who , by the way, had been waiting for me downstairs in the car all this time. well, she couldn’t stand it and went up

to my apartment at the moment when this scoundrel was ready to tear my apartment apart and some brave woman burst into my apartment. and apparently wanting to save me, but he was warmed on the head with a frying pan. well, okay from me, then what do you need? comrade investigator, well, personally, i have no complaints against anyone. yes, but for me. there is a comrade investigator, i don’t know how this scoundrel gave me artificial respiration. but exactly nine months later. i was born.

triplets, so either he takes me to the registry office or i take him to the prosecutor . the most heartfelt soulful songs of evgeny martynov, who would have turned 75 this year, you will hear him perform the song. she will remain in your soul forever. i i perceive it as a gift from fate, because i touched kenya's talents. hello andrey andrey malakhov's evening show today 17:50

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call or go to our website leomax.ru leomax purchases with plus it checks each version. what right does he have to investigate? leads? doctor krasnov subscribe you need to stay somewhere, and for this you need to find housing, so if the sky is overcast, let's go, a rainbow will appear very soon. i won't mind tonight

at 21:00. how do you feel? you are healthy and healthy. why do you ask zdorov? what were you doing at the clinic then? i took a friend with a dislocated jaw, he sneezed unexpectedly, most importantly, at the wrong time in the closet. they guessed that i was in the clinic to get rid of all the illnesses from poor nutrition. i say, how did you guess that i was at the clinic only in

russian language. there is an expression: sick, are you healthy, so i’m asking you, sick. you are healthy and healthy. i am well. i'm just asking how we knew i was at the clinic. how did you guess the patient? you're not healthy, shoe covers. take off i foresee the performances, amazing artists on stage with a lot of humor svetlana rozhkova the man must be taken. the guy needs to be taken warm, bye. he hasn't cooled down on you yet. you see, maybe he hasn’t really laid eyes on you yet.

maybe he can't see you point blank. have you already made a plan for your brain, tell me how to marry him? short terms. so, give him a leg. put your leg down and stretch with him , you understand that a fracture is the best reason to get acquainted. and if then he invited you to a restaurant, and you have nothing to wear. this is nothing to go in. yesterday i bought new clips hmm, but they don’t go with handbags, shoes, or dresses. they don't huddle when they fall in love. and then he will count how much did he put into you? and he will regret giving it to someone, shake it before the wedding, shake it like a pear after the wedding, don’t shake anything.

here are the families, otherwise they can’t just slip out, but i’m in a position where they’re not afraid. it's like it’s not you who’s in the situation, he’s the one. and she was intimidated and immediately began to buy nipples and primers. let him accept that he is a father. and then i found out that you don’t have to be a happy father, you can get married, hysterics every other day , hysterics every other day, so that he’s in shape, so that in the morning he’ll stutter. a normal guy is bored with a normal guy, but with a psychopath it’s interesting, you never know what she’ll do and where are you going? here's another good trick. here's a receiver. so, it seems like you were walking down the street, walking calmly we were talking, and suddenly out of the blue you burst into tears and run away, you know?

he'll chase you up a tree into the forest. you see, it's like a cat and a dog. while the cat is sitting, the dog is lethargic. window the dog rushed behind her eyes, i wonder about nature, you know? sex begins to run away , he caught up with you, which means he needs something. he needs something from you, but you can’t do it today. and the more he needs, the more you can’t. you see, a wedding is a task that the government sets for us. well, how did you get to bed? there is nowhere to retreat now. here there is nowhere to retreat, this is borodino. so, if you whisper behind you, turn on the light, call witnesses. that's it, repeat what you

said about people. and where does he say the girls will go as witnesses? i know that i’m saying that the man must be taken alive, you know? it’s better to go there in spring and summer; he lets him come close and eats from his hands. feed him, you know? hook. girls, i know what i’m saying, you can take 4-5 husbands in a good season. if, of course, you know the places. oh oh, he doesn’t even look, look, his eyes

are quiet, right? this is how i will live with him, huh? i don’t even know how i’ll live with him like this. you know that i cannot understand, some have noticed, my increased cultural level and envy. you know, they want to put me in an awkward position with various not smart questions, definitely karen. that’s right, my friend also complained. she bought a nice new car, and envious people say, well, it ’s hard to press the pedals, my friend quickly

found what to answer? she says, it's not hard to press the pedals. if you're falling, it's true, felting, it's really difficult to press the pedals. sometimes you know me too they want to bring a dead end with their questions to their dead end with their answers. yeah, tell luna you see, i say, and saratov is here and an artist who is very popular with the audience will appear, but we do not envy, but only rejoice at his popularity, because the magnificent karen avanesyan is on stage. i

arrived in moscow by train. then the police came up stone and said, you have registration, of course, i even have two registrations, the first and second wife, our registry office registered, how smart you are. for 15 days, knock the icicle onto a slippery roof. i shot down three icicles two window and balcony with chicken. when they flew down, the smoker shouted, “kill,” i say, it’s your own fault, smoking kills, it turned out to be

the prosecutor. work permit i was so surprised by such a respected person. the prosecutor himself. ask for my work permit. i say, of course, dear, go, i give you permission, mistress, work as much as you want. go to work, then they gave me a shovel to clean the snow all the way down to the ground. i cleaned it a little deeper down to the 10,000 volt cable, it is the headquarters, and the ground. suddenly the grilled chicken, which was there before the fireworks, fell down. and i woke up in the hospital, two locals

ward. these are two people sharing one bunk, me and one woman. when did you this women come her husband 2 kg tangerine? that i'm sleeping with his wife. oh , what was there to paint on the doors of the emergency room? what happened was that everyone ran from there like a fire alarm, it turns out i made one small mistake. instead of reception room, i wrote reception of the deceased. then i

read the advertisement, well, it says i need a driver for a kamaz log truck. to work on minibuses and i decided to become a minibus driver, as my grandfather went to the market to buy a navigator for moscow, listen, so good the seller got caught. what a good person sold me a navigator for all the cities of the world at once for just half the price. it’s called globus, then i went to the traffic police department, grass to get capital there, he sits there and says, write it on a piece of paper. what traffic rules do you remember? i have a good memory, like stirlitz. i remember only the last two words and the back cover. i

wrote directly on the pieces of paper. the price is negotiable the captain says, shame on you that such a thought came to your head. does the traffic police inspector take a bribe? no, he’s on people’s roads helps. my grandfather said to spoil people’s money, and the traffic police inspector is against people. this damage removes the fact that all police officers take a bribe, of course, my grandfather. they said there is a policeman who doesn’t take a bribe at all , it’s called a lying policeman and gives you the right. i'm a rational boss. give one last

chance, ask the most difficult question. the captain is good and such a difficult question for me came up with such a work that says how much seating space there is in minibuses. listen, i thought it was 23, and i took the places to my knees, you have to count them, no need to do it anyway. don't consider it a failure. you're right. i say, but there is such a vehicle that allows you to drive without a license. captain says the first letter is o. the last letter is l. i guessed right away, i say opel capital donkey does not mean you will drive everything harnessed in minibuses with a license and i will cure my grandfather,

the captain gave me the road rules and says teach me correctly and treat my grandfather. i thought, the captain also hurts for my grandfather and made a wish that all the people on earth would hurt for each other, then no one to anyone will not say offensive words, but everyone will talk to each other. hey bro. how are you ay-ay-ay-ay-ay, ay-ay-ay, ay-ay-ay-ay, before

we continue with our program. i would like to thank you with all my broad soul without tormenting myself. goodbye, but not yet . and i myself know that you’re welcome, but it needs to be said. i’m a cultured person, karen was tormented, warming up. where did you grab this culture ? you probably travel a lot and collect the culture of different countries. yes, of course, i had to travel around the world. i go places where no human feet have walked. yeah, i’ll tell you right in big cities. i don’t like why well, it’s all theaters, museums , monuments, flower beds, you believe a cultured person, there’s nowhere to even spit , fighting with the guys. you just look at the root,

karabas-barabas culture needs to be introduced from childhood, from school, to institutions. my friends say that you are the most cultured and helpful teachers in the educational institution before exams. posts warning notices the exam will not take place all tickets are sold out the performance of this artist is always sold out, bomb bomb, but still we will find an opportunity to show her to our audience on the lady accordion ekaterina klishina stage .

hello on the russia tv channel vesti in the studio irina rossius and the main topic by this hour kiev has lost a significant part of the cruise missiles and shells with combined uranium in jesus is rapidly losing soldiers in the first weeks 2,400 dead the latest news from the us front about the cessation of arms supplies to kiev washington dc