[000:00:00;00] vesti nedeli, sunday, 20:00, vesdi follows the development of the main events in russia abroad, stay with us today, and if you want to find a girlfriend, then you need a dating site, the most important one, drop five years, he will knock off an a , you'll knock off a tenner, what an interesting woman. well, it’s strange to see your wife, ex- wife, ksenia alferova, alexander makagon. by the way, i also saw you on this site, my advice to you is to take a photo from our family album. the apartment is premiering, today on rtr, i’m dmitry kiselyov, and this is to lead the week, we remember the past, show the present, look to the future and everything is fair. news of the week with dmitry

kiselyov. open up, i love you and i want you to always be by my side, oleg , i have movies on weekends, remember what kind of wedding you wanted as a child, i love romance, i propose a noble wedding, i didn’t know what flowers to choose, i thought roses everyone loves you, you can forget the past, my son’s wedding in the city will be officiated by his ex-fiancee, this is absurd, i myself am not happy with what you need, but you can’t forget true love, 6 years it just happened back mom, you and i are attracted to each other, i love you, i love you all my life, i’m sorry, i want to cancel the wedding , this will never happen, wedding march,

sunday. on rtr, tea, manenka, yes, yes, how do you need to love a person in order to take him and come to him, what is a strong family built on, of course an interesting question, on love, what beautiful girls, i thought, he knows how to do everything for the sake of this is what a person lives, he must have a continuation, on what a good conversation is built on trust, i am so contradictory, wisdom has turned on, and cunning, the eye is burning, that is, well, if you noticed, when everyone is at home, on sunday, on rtr, for russia, the main premiere of the year, what a great moment, congratulations, and remember, i was the first to call myself great, not in vain, she

admired, could i ever be worthy of you? was she praised? you have a motherly soul, kind, sympathetic, you will find a word for everyone, do you want to say that in order to see my mother, i need to have an appointment? they bowed before her, the russian empress is not as simple as she seems in all matters she has an exact measure of her own, but she just wanted to be loved, i yearned for you. what will happen to us now? if you knew how difficult it is to love you, i don’t know who could cope with this problem. catherine, the favorites, you will see, will love you like a woman and like an empress. coming soon to prt. to fall in love, today we will remember one of

the country's most beloved poets, andrei dementyev.

malakhova, today on rtr. friends, this festival is the twentieth in a row, i was recently recalling the history of our festivals, an amazing thing, as if i re-read dumas’ novel 20 years later, because surprisingly, over these 20 years the list of favorite artists has not changed, what about? this says: yes, that the most stable , strongest currency in the world is our russian sense of humor, let

it always be so, we start, a married couple is riding in the car, they are quarreling, swearing, that’s not the right word, then they get up in the village , a traffic light and they see two pigs outside the window, our wife... asks him: are your relatives? husband, uh-huh, mother -in-law and father-in-law, now a magnificent artist, an unsurpassed master of jokes, will appear on stage, igor momenko. a man on a horse drives into the village of the upper rednecks at night, a cart full of firewood

, men, get out, i brought firewood, the horse turns in anger, yeah, you brought it, the tipsy father of the family returns home at 13 at night, he didn’t feel the light, the sideboard got caught, the chandelier collapsed, the can some vase fell. with flowers, roar, hang, crash, crazy, the light turns on, the wife is standing, shaking such eyes, in a memorable nightgown, three children, looking at dad, and he, who can’t sleep without folders, so, imagine, a group of people, villains, scoundrels, bandits, they bring a young guy, there is a snow-covered lake, they drill a hole, lower his head there , and the main bandit says: well, brother, maybe you will be

more accommodating right away, so that they don’t lower you into the wormwood anymore, tell me, gold, there are diamonds, there are valuable things, he says, no, well, you asked for it, they put his head down again, they take him out, well, what can you say, real estate, beautiful cars, guys, there is nothing, absolutely, maybe there is something, but water cloudy, not visible. nevermind, a boxer is being tried for knocking out three people bandits, the judge asks how you managed to knock out three healthy men, he says, well, i laid the first one there , the bandit immediately lay down on the floor, without moving, the second one got a hook, collapsed as if blown up, so what next, well, the second one , third, and the third is my birthday, two georgians, what would you do if

a bear attacked you in the forest? there were storms, storms, and i ran away, ha, and he caught up, and i climbed a tree , but there were no trees, what kind of forest was this, such a forest was, and... i stabbed him with a pitchfork, but vili had no you’re completely useless, but i shot him with a gun and there’s no gun, even if i don’t understand, whose friend are you, mine or the bear’s, thank you. who among us did not love fairy tales as a child? who among us has not told fairy tales to our children? oh, this innocent, spontaneous childish

question: dad, how is a boy’s bun different from a girl’s bun? you see, son, the little bun is a girl rolling towards herself, and the bun is a boy rolling and jumping, what a sin, we are adults, we love... fairy tales no less than children, friends, but if you want a bedtime story, if you want, it’s easy, settle in make yourself comfortable, and boy misha and

boy zhenya will tell it to you, welcome, hello dear children, hello, we are funny storytellers, i will be a good storyteller, i don’t understand, why am i evil? yes, you’re a famous artist and that you can play anyone, logic dictates that since i’m kind, that means you’re evil, okay, okay, let’s assume that i bought your compliment, but then we need to come up with a reason why i’m evil , for you, let’s say, but because you owe me 500 rubles, you borrowed it and haven’t paid it back for six months, 500 rubles. where is mine 500 rub?

this is another matter, i’ll give it to me, don’t worry, well, i hope, dear kids , we’ll tell you a story for the night , so now get your diapers ready, so sit back and listen, yeah, he lived, he was, father, and he had three convictions , yes, three sons, sons, the eldest, smart, was a brute, a brute, a brute, the middle one was and so, sissy, the youngest

at all, a courageous man, still a fool, the father said: “my sons, go and shoot, cigarettes, shoot from a bow, from a bow, from a bow, in whose yard the arrow will fall, on that "and the older brother shot with a bow, hit 300,000, hit, why 300,000 , but because he hit the neighbor's mercedes, there's no point in getting there, the middle brother, the liver.

the liver, why the liver? the drunk, because , the liver. younger brother shot an arrow, the arrow flew into the swamp, there was a frog, ivan tsarevich said, he kissed the frog and it turned into a good fellow. why into a good fellow, because the frog is european, and why are you ruining all fairy tales, but because you’ve been giving me six months? we won’t give 500 rubles, where is my 500 rubles, yes i will give it back, well, be patient a little, come on, come on, i’d better tell you another fairy tale, an old man lived with his old woman by the very blue sea, once the old man came to

the sea, the old man threw the old woman into the sea, the blue got dark the sea, it was too dirty , it was old, it darkened, it was blue, it became black, look at the map, that’s what it ’s called. the black sea in sochi, i ’d rather tell you another fairy tale, about little red riding hood, little red riding hood, there was a lonely woman in the forest and she had a 500 ruble note. and

the woman had small breasts, no, daughter, daughter, her daughter was small, and her daughter had... a red bump on her head, why a bump, but because her mother hit her daughter on the head and said, where is 500 rubles, give me 500 rubles, and i’ll give it to you, be patient a little, well, said the mother, daughter, go to the bathhouse. to grandma, to grandma, to grandma’s bathhouse, the old woman was too dirty. go, he says, to grandma and take her 500 rubles. take her, take her the

pork pies, let me tell you another fairy tale, about the three little pigs. about two piglets, why about two, because pies with pork, come on, come on, come on, it’s impossible to tell a fairy tale with you, okay, give me another one, i’d rather tell you about 12 months, okay, a girl went into the forest for snowdrops, suddenly she sees 12 men sitting by the fire, grilling shish kebab, what else?

kebab, the pig was too big, nif-nif, there was also a brother with him, boor, nah-nah, they tell her, girl, come sit with us, and... she tells them: go, she says, to your mother for 500 rub. well, i understand, right? and then the month of april arose and gave the girl coronavirus. ring, oh he gave her a ring, well, that’s not interesting. you're crawling, crawling, he says, girl, away, you're crawling, crawling, little ring, on the spring porch, why are you freaking out all the time, why are you there? yes, because you got me, i said, i’ll give it back, when, soon, soon

, the fairy tale says, oh, lord , ivan appeared, not expected, uninvited, turned the hut, got excited, woke up the old lady, one thing doesn’t interfere with the other, but the old lady and says to him: hello, you little bastard, yes. she says: hello, proshka, you’ve already confused me, hello, she says, ivanushka,

crawl into my place, into the bathroom, yes, let’s climb into the bathtub, why into the bathtub, it was too dirty and old. what did the fairy say to cinderella, cinderella, go to the ball, but remember, cinderella, as soon as the clock strikes 12, you won’t buy vodka to the store, you won’t buy it, as soon as the clock strikes 12, the magic will disappear, what kind of magic can be without vodka?

nature did not provide for this. the experts know, but she says to her, give her 500 rubles for a tip, otherwise i’ll hit you, i’ll hit the lumps on your head, 12 times, well, what ’s the matter, i’d better tell you another fairy tale, more the other, the head, come on, three girls under the window, were drinking in the evening, why did they drink, because they managed to get to the store before 23, unlike this fool, cinderella, how would i be, a queen, says one girl, i would quickly give it to everyone 500 rub. that's all there is, that's all, she

was honest, that's all, you've already got me, yes, why are you freaking out, and because you got me, keep your 500 rubles. well, well, this is another matter, here there are only 300, you know how to count, and another 200, like this, so, every concert, every evening. i’m standing, fanning myself, a billionaire, well, now i can tell you a fairy tale tell me, yes, rospotrebnadzor is coming from behind the forest from behind the mountains, why? check if everyone is in

fairy tales and put on masks. in a certain kingdom, in a certain state, there lived varvara, a beauty, 100 bucks for half an hour. and the hen laid an egg. grandfather beat grandmother on the head, why? the old lady was too dirty, that’s it, now i ’ll be angry, because i’m sober, but i don’t have any money, what the hell, okay, at least i have 500 rubles. i’ll go to a restaurant and order bread from

a sochi restaurant. good people 500 rubles, first rows 800, balcony 200, and the spectators in response, screw it up, damn it, there is no money. where to find the line between a fairy tale and a true story, how much fairy-tale magic there is in life, if a fish speaks to you, maybe you just stop pouring, fools have been lucky in our fairy tales forever, so if you’re smart, at least once take a risk, be funny and tell the stove to go, in the direction of croaking and full of arrows, come out to visit every day we are waiting for you on thursdays , come in the morning at six

there are rejuvenating apples, if the night is always dark, but not scary, where is it funny, make a fairy tale funny, then in life will be good, zmeynych dreamed of being a fireman since childhood, they won’t hire him, he got a job in a bathhouse. fry kebabs, heat water, blow steam, drunk three times so that they stop drinking, the bun in football has found himself in the kind, only he has a chance to beat everyone else, this ball leaves everyone who is not ours, he only allows himself to be kicked, and the izgushka on the chicken legs, guys, became friends with the two-story house, so they began to hatch, out of the bushat. so renovation is going on in the forest, come visit us, bring us with you,

bring us all sorts of pies from your mothers. in a red cap, but without wolves, oh, how bright it is with a light bulb, uh, splash, fun , paddle, oh, laughter, dissolves evil, like fairy tales, we are all very lucky, like in a fairy tale, we are all

very lucky, mikhail belov, evgeny petrosyan, kind storytellers, thank you, thank you, don’t be offended, please, i promise you, i’ll be there and back. let's do without the prime minister's promises on rtr, either you close the case, or prepare materials for transmission, you tell me what to do, where to dig, where to run, you just tell me, and i 'll tell you, there are thoughts, unraveling other people's secrets, lina, i’ll leave for a while, will she be able to keep hers, oh-oh-oh, oh, what kind of

beauty is this, you’re simply irresistible today, you’re also kind of like a drug. mirror of lies, on monday on rtr, and you girls dance, and you walk, which one of you is the mother of the heroine , please, how many, 10, 10, star tajikistan, watch before anyone else, four children, ex-

husband, work, endless stress, vasnetsova , why do you always cause problems, we subscribe, we look, you look 100 to one, what is our task, open the whole board, we can handle it, if you ask, then with a hint, the name of which character from pushkin’s works everyone knows, who will be 7.8, 7.8, how many, who is at work? speaks a lot and loudly, if you answer, then with humor, i would think, chop, no , pinch, problems with water, light, uh, housing and communal services, i don’t know what else, geometry, algebra, physics, chemistry - this is a set for headache and god forbid now beep, if you win, then hurray,

100 to one, oops. tomorrow on rtr. friends, he will make his debut at this festival this year, but i am more than sure that from now on we will see each other regularly. meet sergey lazarev. she was all hardening not for you, but every day i fell more in love, not hearing anyone, from your gaze , the earth was floating somewhere beneath me, they were playing with fire, we crossed the line, the patterns of our bodies and the beating of our hearts,

they fell over the sharp edges you and i, i don’t want to be careful anymore... i don’t want to, i’m not afraid, i’m not afraid, your sweet damn, i’m old myself. well, let me not be afraid, i’m not afraid, i’m not afraid, to know your love for the taste, beyond 18 plus, they told me, stop, don’t come, she’s a danger of the highest degree, but my heart broke and trembled hits right through, carries you at an incredible speed, i’m running after you to the ends of the earth

, tearing solid strips into pieces , hold me in your hands, bring me with belts, i can’t be careful anymore, i’m not afraid, i’m not afraid. your sweet ben, i myself surrender, judge the tot, and let, i’m not afraid, i’m not afraid, to know your love for the taste, i’ll take 18, humorina,

higher, higher, higher, that’s it, i’m not afraid, i’m not afraid, my sweet ben, i myself will collect, whoever crumples will judge me and let me not... i’m afraid, i’m not afraid, i’m not afraid, i’m not afraid, to know my love by taste, i’ll go abroad 18 plus, how shaking,

thank you! in the life of every famous artist there was the very first finest hour, when, as they say , some number rang out and the concert organizers began to cut off the phone, and people... on the streets began to turn around, the bravest ones asked for autographs. the current festival is the twentieth anniversary, it is unusually rich in round dates. 45 years ago, at an all-russian competition, this artist performed a monologue about sergeant major kovalchuk, literally the next day the whole country was already repeating the famous refrain: pear, stop living. his stellar flight from since then, it has only been gaining height. let it always be like this. people's artist of russia,

vladimir vinokur. dear friends, hello, the theater that i run is called the parody theater, so today we will show you the parodies of the most famous, the most. popular artists, i will now declare russian folk, nadezhda kadysheva, oops, come on, come on, hop , even though years have passed, but i’m still fashionable, because people’s love makes me look younger, on stage with me, my husband is standing next to me, she asked me to sing it, he still shouts that tawat and hands give hope

for and the dear one next to me smiles , tries to pull the meters, and here the rumor goes that everything is blooming in kadyshev, and in order to surprise the people, my husband is now going to break the payyan. i was once a doctor, people know this, now i sing songs with ringing strings, if the critics

still finish me off, help will come soon. mine, take me, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark-bark, i’ll raise my faithful guitar like a saber, dashingly sing a song to the ruban from the right shoulder, the face of the cossack sings to you, razenbaun, sashka, even though my last name is, this is for the doctor. i'm as tough as a tea thunderstorm, at least a little bit

floor, and if you hit a glass beast, it’s like her khan, and i’m like a very gentle robe, but my temper hardens in an instant, if i hit the gelatinous one, what do i care, kerdik, i’m such a little flower, a little flower, in spite of years, i am young from a bud, the world has never had such a flower, our country remembers how it needs it,

putin’s majorate, yes, yes, yes. a kind gentle look, a slight gesture of the hand, this is how my doubles always see me, so i will announce a casting around the country,

i will determine the best of them. it just so happened, a lion, he is the king of beasts, although in essence i, a russian nightingale, to me does not become outdated, even after years, it pleases everyone’s ears, my voice will always sing to you from the stage, as long as leshchenka will be. sing to you from the stage, there is a simple answer, like a superhero, i will do well, what i want to tell you, i convinced you in full, this pun

can show it better than anyone else. only wine-chickens! i know for sure the impossible is possible, the video you were careless in living with yourself, and then reading the comments and... day and night, i know for sure that i can relax. how i rested is not a question for a long time, i

’ll immediately post a video on instagram afterwards, i’ll be able to there like in a movie, to lay out everything in detail, understand one thing, it’s not just to sing and sing , everyone is discussing my videos everywhere, even the floorboards with me are made from any expensive restaurant, now there’s such a wedding without a belan, and everything is on the voice it’s time to sit in the jury, i’m tired, every ear of mine, and i so want

to go out and just sing before my cuckoo gets scared, but the sound director is baptized again, because my voice always sounds so strong that it’s about to turn into a microphone, khan, ladies , louder, no, no, louder, ladies, that’s also a reading, crossed over the ceiling, and every wall, yes, a container, i'm a superstar. melting for this so that

my fee would not crack, they somehow brought me a grain of magic in a handkerchief. on the windowsill in a pot, i took care of it, i so wanted the yellow sulpan to sprout from there, but a wonderful miracle happened, the karsan sprang up and sprouted, it’s powerful like a rock, chest, arms... back, it can fit on it, small country , yes

, i’m big everywhere, but i’m a mountain for you, dear to me, dear natasha, i wrote every sunflower of yours, every night, i hear your whim, no, i don’t want to, there are a lot of sheep, seryoga, i want to get rid of it, let’s go and show you. i should have written in the song that i was ready to kiss sochi, i might have kissed him, but why does trofim need intimacy in sochi,

just imagine such a picture, i walk around sochi and kiss everything in a row, either a sanatorium or a pub ? now the beach, now a palm tree, now a train station, however, in sochi, because there are a lot of beauties, i’ll kiss the beauties first, i’ll go with you, suddenly my wife told me, i shouldn’t have rolled out their lips , on the stage everyone is hysterical, where can i

get new hits, mine, but with love for russia. i'm sure ok, everything will be loved, if the hit is not written at all, i’ll go out at night in the field with a horse , a new song, the field will be found, i’ll sell it, it’s all for nothing, don’t be a fool, america, the truth of life sounds proudly... up to anyone your shore , oh, easy, our greetings, away, here, our greetings, away, with us, everyone who dreamed of just a couple of kilos, stopped. jammed and stood up, who can’t, an accident to help you

, it’s not there, that we’re at the forefront of the attack, not for everyone, but still hiphopyaki, for creativity, our dance mixture, but to make the hall explode, we’ll ask you to be the distiller. he has a light humorous touch, it burns unrealistically when surrounded by superstars, you are funnier and more interesting and we don’t know any worries, and today everyone will sing along to this song! people, he’s super-voluptuous, he’s in the know, the rapids are approved by our stars, the truth cannot be canceled out by humor. problems medicine to make life easier, come new acura, everyone on the planet is a hall

, the heart of our abode, everything we do on stage is for you, our kind viewer, supervolom in the topic, approved by our stars, all of all people. our stars to all, go ahead guys, take a bow, health, happiness. and the most important world in our house,

vladimirokur who loves you and my star factory. allenka is jealous of you and me that we have been together for so long and are still in love with each other, today, mom, and this is my igor, he will live with us, divorce will unexpectedly come when... you don’t expect it at all, my life is over , it’s just that something needs

to be changed in this life, and every evening will immediately become surprisingly good, and if dad returns, i’m sorry for disturbing you, i just have to live nowhere, apartment, oh, premiere, today on rtr. i still have pain here, here it hurts, here it hurts, this disease never manifests itself acutely, it creeps up gradually , in order to be healthy, the most important thing is to remember the 3p principle, this, by the way, officially proves, proper nutrition, how to properly eat away stress, you need choose those foods that are not harmful to eat, the right medications. let’s run to the doctor, medicines are like

crutches for us, and the right habits, and maybe they’ll slap us on a little kefir, and i’m not afraid of that words, about the most important thing from monday to friday on rtr, for whom i keep spouses in leadership positions, and not just anyone, so that there is no disagreement. fedorov, they will fire us if they find out that we are divorced, but you and i can pretend to be a strong, loving family for a couple of days. anna nevskaya. anton khabarov, i specially prepared my arrival to congratulate you personally, 20 years of marriage, bitter, bitter, alexander mokhov, elena beryakova, excuse me, who are you, and i’m the mother-in-law, it’s very nice, you’re raising a child, you’re raising, and then

what -then the swell takes it and eats it piece by piece, vampire, galina petrova, terzhakov, are you married? repeatedly, well, i thought you were after me, i was after me, after the divorce, everything is just beginning, i even like your husband, so much adrenaline, exes, on friday on rtr, a little tea, yes, how should you love tea? a person to take and come to him, what is a strong family built on? the question is certainly interesting, it’s based on love, what beautiful girls, i thought, he knows how to do everything, that’s what a person lives for, it should have a continuation, what a good conversation is based on, trust, i’m so contradictory, my wisdom and

cunning have turned on, my eye is burning, that is, well, if you noticed, even two. when everyone is at home, on sunday at rtr, i need a bouquet, we look at the weekend, i hope your bride will like it, i would be pleased to receive such a bouquet from my groom, love is like a flower, so easily trampled. get out of here, get out, i said, i was also betrayed by a loved one, it’s so difficult to raise, where did you glue this girl together yesterday, i just want to find her, don’t you dare pester her, i understand, don’t you dare, i’m pregnant the person who abandoned me, and you decided to leave the child, right? yes, but you’re not like everyone else, run away from him, cook before it’s too late, he

manipulates people, i want you and me to lie down, i’m getting married. for the father of your child, you don’t love him, it will be right , flower tanga, today on рrt, oh , it’s full, my box is there, russia is great, hundreds of languages, more than 200 nationalities, there is nothing like this anywhere on planet earth, on earth , we

live in one world, daisies. songs of the russian world on national unity day on rtt. you can recognize him with your eyes closed out of a million, only by his voice. on humorin, the much-adored semyon altov. i wanted to give my wife perfume for march 8th, good ones are expensive, but cheaper ones, and at the same time she gets them, they don’t make them, we went shopping , looked for them, sniffed them, settled on crimean

portvenenia, candlelight in the evening... we felt light notes of citrus fruits, the aroma of almonds, after tasting doctor's sausage, how much does a woman need to be happy? this guy didn’t leave the casino for days, rarely won, usually lost down to a penny, then bet his he lost his car, apartment, wife, and clothes , but whoever saw his wife up close immediately forgave his debts, and here he was lucky. old age, old age changes faces beyond recognition

, men don’t care, but women are in panic, insomnia, depression, alcoholism as a treatment, or it’s the tortoise’s business, a truly wise creature, the tortoise is born outwardly as an old woman, and the same wrinkled face will live on, who can tell how old it will be? years old, she herself has no idea, yet she looks so smart, as if she was reading shakespeare in the original. ladies, take a cue from turtles and change your alcohol. on shakespeare. the second hour, i was waiting for a girl on the corner, she didn’t come, the blonde next to me was freezing , waiting for a guy, i asked her, did yours not come? she answered and yours didn’t come, we left together. he has been living for eight years. in love and harmony , our first toast is to those who did not

come on time. a neighbor's strawberries are ripe at his dacha, but he himself has been gone for two weeks. beautiful yagoda, it’s just asking to be put into your mouth, your wife is drilling, collect, collect, if we don’t sit, the birds will devour it, how can we take someone else’s? on the other hand, how can you not take it? at night, so as not to be caught, he lay down on his neighbor's polish belly, i tore open the bellies with a nail, the frog jumped into the mouth, but collected it, ate it in 5 minutes, the disgusting thing is not ordinary, and even with worms , the knob was in the smoker for a week, they fought over the toilet, god punished me, theft is still a sin, but... my wife

judges like a mosquito, you have to steal on time, well, at different times i was performed by almost all the stars of our stage, now there is only one performer left, it’s me, but i am grateful to fate that i had the opportunity to work with the brilliant actor arkady raikin, i am the author of his last performance world at home yours, this the phrase is relevant at all times. and so i always read this short fable-parable, which once sounded from the lips of a great actor, the crane and the crane, why when you fly across the sky, people smile, they say, cranes fly in flocks, that’s when we, cows, go, noses are turning, grumbling, a herd of cows is rushing, what’s the difference, well, you compared, the crane was offended, we are flying beautifully, like a crane wedge. and you will come like a herd, unaesthetic. the cow thought, but