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tv   Petrosyan-shou  RUSSIA1  September 22, 2024 3:00pm-5:00pm MSK

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hotel for unforgettable experiences rixsus sharmelsheikh for adults only. 17+. here
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you will find entertainment throughout the day. year-round performances of the best djs from around the world and comfortable rooms. rixsus sharmelsheikh is not just a holiday, it is a feast for the soul, where every detail is created to delight. manccher whiskey is a product of stellor group. we invite you to the swiss hotel. sharmelsheikh, the first swiss hotel in the world, working on the all-inclusive system. treat yourself to a holiday where elegance and natural beauty merge into perfect harmony. create memories that will remain forever in the heart. svisotel sharmel sheikh is your perfect place in the heart of the city. montechok cognac. product of steller group.
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old barrel cognac is a product of steller group. hello, evgeniy petrosyan, everyone, everyone, everyone. let the screen smile. and everyone, everyone, everyone who wants to joke sensibly, we can visit.
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invite it will immediately become easier to live, at least more fun and maybe a little funnier, and let evgeniy petrosyan, everyone, everyone, not sit down on your sofa, but everyone, everyone, with all open soul, now for you they will show a show, i hope for great success, ladies and gentlemen, evgeny petrosyan. hello, hello, hello, again we go on stage with the only goal.
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to please you with another undertaking, despite all life's difficulties, to create a good mood for you, the one who keeps up with humor, strengthens his health, humor is such a necessary thing, life is sour without it, in the soul of a joker there is always bubbling buffoonery, he ... to splash out to create a cheerful atmosphere, sasha walked along the highway sucking a pretzel, with i would eat it with pleasure if i had jaws, it's a pity that with three husbands you can't get married in the registry office, with one, judge for yourself, you can't feed yourself these days. what to do, what to do, how to
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surprise the neighbors, either amuse them with a drill, or breed bees. at the tram stop, this is a classic of our clean-cut. a citizen lies in the dust, bought pepper vodka for three, but two did not come. let's dispel sadness and regret, magical laughter, our glorious friend. and humorous mood, let it boldly reign around. on the air of the petrosyan show!
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thank you, thank you very much, you are welcome! inventory, what is it? thank you, good, what is it? kristina, yes, in the word announcement, what comes after b? b always comes after c. oh,
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b, c, girls, where am i? what nonsense, you're in the office. girls, the boss told us that we have to hand in the tax decoration before lunch, when he said, half a year ago, and where can we get this decoration, oh, i don't know, maybe print it. right, uh-huh, so why are we sitting here, let's print,
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girls, forgive me, forgive me, my dears, i was just learning to type on a typewriter, the typewriter broke, but the reflex remained, pew! mashus, well, you printed everything, everything, only some kind of crap came out? no big deal, now we need to put sadness on this decoration, girls, who has sadness? i have sadness, i recently met a guy, what stupidity, not sadness. and the seal, i said so, i'll put it, yeah, stupidity itself, first the document needs to be sent to the printer,
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i sent it, well done, you're a smart girl, you're the best, well, girls, tax decoration with yes... now we can have a little latex relax, i said so. hello, i'm a tax inspector, i've come carry out a tax audit, what
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is he talking about some kind of verification, and the verification is from the accounting department, man. you need to go to another department, i repeat, your company did not file a tax return on time, who is in charge? well, i am! i am the senior secretary of the referendum, what is the secretary of the referendum, it is not our consistency to solve issues with the decoration, this is a skullcap, what i repeat, you did not file a tax return. do you have irrefutable snails? what snails? i
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do not have any snails. well then they have a jaw. or will we talk in the presence of my avocado. and in general, i think so. if something, if there may be some, yes, well, like in general, then i still think that because , like, yes. girl, i need your invoices. why? well,
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because i'm from the tax office, give me your invoices. okay, what is it? invoices. how are you in the head? i painted my hair yesterday. "i need a package of documents, girls, who has a package, i have one, here you go, and where are the documents, where are the receipts, what does he say about the dance, wants, what kind of dances do we have at work, girls, i was at a dance, i met someone there one guy, women, hello, hello, i'm
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listening, strange, long beep, maybe it's a ship, oh, girls, i was on a cruise on a ship, i met a guy at a dance there, in general, such a guy, it's a pity he turned out to be. not like that, but what kind of guy, well, not like other guys, oh, that he's sober, i didn't get it, he 's not like that in bed, he sleeps across, no, he's a representative of minorities, and a midget, no, he needs women, yes, light bulbs, everything is clear, an electrician. hello, women, hello, i'm listening,
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silence again, probably someone is misbehaving, my dear, uh-huh, i'm here, here i am, i've arrived carry out a tax audit, according to our data you have arrears, what, we, he says, are idiots, i hear you as an idiot, yeah, i have to draw up a report, why is he asking for a hole punch , why do you need a hole punch? this is a normal procedure, what are you talking about, you're an idiot yourself, woman, i need a folder with documents, you have a folder, there is no folder, the folder left mommy a long time ago, you are my
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dear, and if anything, i have a sugar daddy, you don't need a sugar daddy, what other sugar daddy, well, a sugar daddy, he is the same age as the sugar daddy, but not a sugar daddy, a sugar daddy, because he has money, you paid the fee, what? let's go, what are you saying, did you pay the fee? or no, yes, i personally mourned, i constantly mourn the vulgarity, and where is the utility bill, who is the utility bill, by the way, i go to the fitness club for training, like, yeah, you're an impudent guy, women, what kind of office do
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you have, what kind of legal entity do you have, we have a painted face, you have an individual entrepreneur, oh, for oh, oh girls, and is he even talking to us now, girls, i'll answer, try, try, jaga, jaga, girl? he hung up, masha, you're great, yeah, business, master hospital, man, hello, hello,
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i'm listening to you, man, what did you want? i wanted decorations, with avocado and snails, and also give me a hole punch and bring a receipt from the accounting department, hello, i'm the boss of this office, how can i help you, give me a liter of valerian in cognac, let's go, let's go, i 'll drip you some, girls, my swallows, well done , it's good that i hired you, everything was done perfectly, so, it means, we're crossing out the tax office, now the auditor from the bank will arrive, we continue to work, we work, girls, we work.
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declaration, currency, investments, advance, penalty, dividends, capital, accrual, details, no, gross, cost price deposit, in our office we know many more scary. dividends document turnover devit credit financial inspector will not pass on the threshold he will be met by the necessary three blondes girls kindred stuffy stuffy stuffy blonde secretary no drank more beautiful we you member hello
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you sing and hide our address just in case vb dog three blondes brain dot no brain. no, no brain, no brain, no brain. thank you very much, somehow we will decide for ourselves where to go and what to do now, it was somehow rude, but i understand that this is love, lady with a dog, new track on monday on
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with horse chestnut extract at a uniquely low price, from only 9:95. we present to your attention a real hit of sales, a luxurious chocolate bag made of genuine leather. elegant, stylish, very roomy chocolate bag is made in the style of "patchwork" and perfectly. matches any clothes and shoes, it will become your reliable companion to work, to visit, on a walk to the store. soft genuine leather, high-quality fittings, classic shape, optimal size. such a bag will be appreciated by the most demanding fashionistas. it will emphasize the femininity of its owner and add even more charm. the design of the bag is thought out to the smallest detail. two large zipped compartments, four outer pockets and even a secret compartment for an umbrella. all this will allow you to conveniently organize the space and maintain order in your handbag. stylish design. two trendy colors to choose from. universal black and noble brown. call right now to order
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euros. but hurry, the offer is strictly limited and valid for a short period of time. now you can clean up dirt, dust, crumbs, hair, wet food remains and even broken glass quickly and easily with the help of a completely new electric broom. livington dipper swipper. dipper swipper impresses with its original triangular design and innovative tribrush technology. you can easily clean under furniture, where it is usually very difficult to reach. and only today, the unique ingenious cordless electric broom livington dipper swipper with smart built-in corner bumpers, that protect your furniture. skirting boards and walls from scratches can be yours for only 89. 95, but if you call and order right now, you will receive an incredible discount of 20 euros, and the livington dipper swiper
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will be yours for an incredible 69.95, but hurry, the offer is strictly limited, the disguised groom, come to dinner, i will not marry him. hello, hello, he exists, he is in my apartment, what are you, how can i stop all this, what, what, what should i do, do you want to get rid of the groom, there is one way to cheat fate, ask him out, you're lucky, you'll get three dates with a girl like me, let's meet in the park at 5:45 in the morning, what time? i have a meeting with my parents, we're going to ride the ferris wheel, i 'm terrified of heights, diva, look at me, look, come here, come, for yourself, who
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are we going to think of, seriously, do you think that someone like me is capable of falling in love with someone like you, crooked mirror, on friday on rtr. let's talk about last names, that's where they originally come from, so to speak, and it's unclear, especially since sometimes they appear such surnames, as if they were specially invented as a joke, for example, i knew one adult uncle, a big guy by the surname... sholunishka, i came across acquaintances nikolai borsch, ekaterina chmyr, and nina sosiska,
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zenoida the guy. and vasily dolgopalets, and this is in all seriousness, one lady changed her surname three times, did not cling to any of them, stayed with her maiden, pipko-scaly, and a friend by the surname stomach called all sorts of authorities and said: your stomach is bothering you, here is a boy by the surname hadji badji-manzhibaev rarely were they called to the board at school. very rare. and a man with the surname napoleon always had a hard time being discharged from a psychiatric clinic. such and such a person celebrated railwayman's day every time, because his surname was shlagbaun. and a woman with the surname pozdnyak
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married an italian couturier, giacoma mitaciya, now she has a double surname, pozdnyak metacia, marina popa and natalia ruchka studied in the same year, when they were absent, the dean would ask: where is popa and ruchka? so endless misunderstandings arose in connection with surnames, one driver taxi was called, died, imagine a passenger of this taxi who received a text message: your driver died, get out, he is waiting for you, well here are more examples. older people will confirm what i
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am about to say, once upon a time children gave tests in matchboxes, it was necessary to write the last name at the top, here one boy with the last name povidlo had a problem, some thought that he was just making fun of. at the cosmos hotel there was an administrator, a woman with the last name elk, she picked up the phone and proudly said, the elk from space speaks, in one hospital had a neurologist with the last name of durakov, at the reception a grandmother asked:
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daughter... and when does the neurologist see people? durakov sees people on wednesdays. and will he see smart people? well, it’s probably hard to have your own office if your last name is sharashkin. as they say, with the last name petukhov it’s hard to prove that you’re a leo. according to the horoscope, in kazan a tram driver announces the stops, the stop is the kasimov brothers, the next one is grifianov, a man looks into the cabin and says: my last name is zagidulin, and where should i get off, in one house there was a list hanging near
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entrance, then... well, where the last name akashkin stood out sharply, before the first letter traces of a painful, many-year struggle were visible, i am petrov, i am 3030, so ensign, my last name is zozo.
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last name belov, he married a girl with the last name belokopytova, at their wedding, the bride's father repeated 10 times, thank god. listen, konopev, what is this such a strange last name, how do i know, datura, or a donkey, yes, you were unlucky with the last name, anitsials and your last name is sarapuk, sarakak, not like, but
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fart, mom, why do they call me in the yard refrigerator, they are just ill-mannered, understand ariston? dad, why is my sister's name alyonka? because mom likes these sweets, understand, beer? what's your last name? petrov, are you stuttering or something? no, my dad stuttered, and the passport officer was just stupid. your last name, beef, how how? like stew, beef, they are talking to a friend, yesterday i met a baltic man, his name is suren, wait, what kind
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of chatter is he, what are you talking about? well, i don't know, he chats in 10 minutes, the ensign hands out outfits, i am the waiter! wash the floor in the hall, with what? well a rag, what a floor, me, there is a joke about this topic with surnames: the director says to his new driver, what is your last name, i like to address drivers by their last name, but can i call them by their first name, my name is andrey, only by my last name, you will not call me by my last name, just call me andrey. "listen, fighter, what is your last name, well, my beloved last name, let's go, andrey, yes, it is difficult
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with some last names, imagine if tina kandelaki married quentin tarantina, she would become tina tarantina. and if chuck norris married ksenia sobchak if he took her last name, he would become chuck sobchak. you can come up with them endlessly. vietnamese chess player pen pen, a polish good-natured fellow, a western bully. as we know, the indians, for example, gave names and last names based on personal qualities, one of ours was brought up there, grew up there, grew up, came here, asked to change
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his last name, please, shorter, i have a long last name, you understand, and what was your last name, well, very long, i am a great eagle, rapidly falling from the sky into... it is a bit long, indeed, and what new last name do you want? shmyak, do you know what it would be venipukh's surname and name in different countries? let's go to different countries, let's get acquainted. england, sir. belgium. czech republic - poland vin pukhnevich kazakhstan velerbay pukherbaev israel veniamin pukhman armenia vinik pukhanyan
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germany hervinghelm von pukhin gruziyashvili. russia vinni vladimirovich pukhin. it turns out a joke with a joke, and the surname for a person. the poet acts, a selfless creator,
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furious ardent, inspired by his irrepressible creativity, a bohemian personality, a quivering artist, causing puppy delight, meet, gentlemen, appreciate telepoetry, a poet! drășin. come on, poems, come on, come on,
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needles are falling from the tree onto the carpet, sticking into our heels, making us happy, the guests were covered. arkady danced with drops, a dance with sabres, bread, water, toffee, a drop of booze, that's what it is, a white zarpla. bow, and fat in
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the plates, grow big, swell in the water, become my noodles, come on, lower, lower, oh. where did you get the washcloth for your head? a washcloth? this one in the bathhouse, strangely, was lying around, a piggy bank with change, i threw it away, it didn't even break, greedy. pig, yes,
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that's it, i bought enough money for the kmars to die, come fly, creatures, be so kind. even if you have achieved everything in life, still in the end a couple of carnations await, and well done, go away! from the stage they shouted to me chmo,
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neither bravo nor bravisimo to you, send me photos and videos from the scene, i want to see something, work from dawn to dusk? marya sergeevna dreams only of this, i am lucky today, yeah, there is a lot to do, we have no time to sit around, quiet, quiet, quiet, secret investigation. i already thought, i have reviewed everything, but i will tell you, no, it clings. from monday to friday, on rtr. kalinan belek - a place where time stops. immerse yourself in
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vodka veda - a product of stellar group. hotel titanic deluxe golf belleg, where every moment is exceptional. wrap yourself in comfort by our pools, relax in the spa salon and enjoy exquisite dishes from the best restaurants. here, every room is a journey to coziness and comfort. your vacation - your rules. titanic deluxe golf belleg is the best choice for an unforgettable vacation. rom castro - a product of stellor group. marry me, i agree, look on saturday, i came to say goodbye, i'm leaving for moscow, a month in moscow, and already opened his own construction company, that
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everyone is pulling the wool over your eyes, you look great, tanya. true love can wait, why did you come, to see you, to wait even when it's too late, she had no happiness here, she loved me all these years, loved me for 7 years, then took a month to find out everything and fall out of love, you don't part with your loved ones, on saturday on rtr. emotions, in a closed meeting, secret means for the sake of electronic intelligence, when nato feeblemindedness courage, brought the world to an extremely dangerous point.
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everyone sings about women, how vulnerable they are, but it seems premature to us, after all, we are men, we put men's suffering into the verse, well, and you decide for yourself whether it is true or not.
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a husband runs home from a business trip, and his wife is already meeting him at the door, smiling slyly, singing cheerfully, and the new fur coat suits her very well, the man, the man had a suspicion , longing on his face, his wife found, probably, with his stash all four hiding places a month. the man only has sandwiches, without hot food, he lives for six months, they don't cook food at home, nothing, and
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why does this happen, if he has a wife, a man, a man, the problem basically arose because of a trifle, the wife found her husband, women's tights in his jacket pocket. there lived a man who was not a fan of football, he liked to watch ballet in silence and at home, he thought there was no need to stupidly yell, but his mother-in-law came to visit him for about five years at the man, the man's eyes widened like two huge pitas. after all, the mother-in-law with a mug of beer, a big and furious spartak fan, the husband
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began to get ready for fishing in the evening, he took a spare fishing line, about 20 hooks, very carefully put everything in a backpack, on the bottom of half a liter of vodka quietly po... put the man, the man, the fishing can be ruined, probably his wife, he was sleeping while, exchanged the vodka for a bottle of milk, and men are bad, it is customary to say, they often drink, they say, that it is not... aesthetically pleasing, children should not take examples from them, but remember one thing, dear
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friends, the man, the man, sometimes it is difficult to get out of the morass, so that life was not so bitter, do not bring it to this, take care of the man, write it down in the red book! and the man, i present to you our guest, he is a master of balance and equilibrium, a world record holder and russia, the winner of the cup, amazing people, and the finalist of the minute of fame. a guest of the petrosyan show, alexey shlega, who
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will surprise us. hello. hello, very nice. oh, how spectacular. yes, bravo, bravo, wow, that's amazing, one breath, it flew off, yes, that's...
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bravo, even more difficult, there will already be three. we complicate the task, my god, and i don't know about the men, a glass is not... yes, two, yes, two and the contents, yes, but we have a balance, for now.
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this is something incredible, wow, there are no words, and words are not needed, because one breath, it will blow it all away. complicate it even more, amazing, wow, the main thing is that you chose such inconvenient
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bottles, crooked in places and... well, i'll tell you, you can't figure it out without half a liter, forgive me, alexey, i have a very immodest question for you, you tied
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a scarf around your neck, solemnly, yes. what was that with the napkin, and can you now close your eyes, i'm complicating the task and doing something like this, let's try, let's go, let's go, a very interesting idea, what an intriguer i am.
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bravo, and this is called balance. what else, this is not a trick, yes, yes, that's it installation of balance, yes, these are not tricks and not illusions, this is the magic of physics and my ability to only feel the balance, but i see you have an iron, a hair dryer, you will iron something, dry something, what will you do, this time i
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will not iron or dry anything, but for the next installation of balance i just need... and a hair dryer, this wonderful iron, more complicated. let's add a stone and a working hair dryer, miracles, but that's not all, let's add
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a cherry. on this wonderful cake near the ear. once basternak in the soviet years said the phrase: about a tightrope walker, a tightrope walker is not does not need any connections, or any, joining the party, to be promoted, he
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must only be a tightrope walker, he must keep the balance, you are unique, who keeps a special balance, i would say, thank you, let's continue, i have. so let's try, probably, now like this to put him on one leg, well, until we try, we won't know, really. magic, that's it, and took off, evgeny, i have
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a proposal, yes, let's try to balance the table with you, now you're intriguing... but i'm not one of the timid, is this really everything is with me, maybe, let's try, sit down, are you trying for the first time, or have there been experiments, and there have been, but with you for the first time, with me, it's true, it's my first time too, and sit as close to the back of the chair as possible, i sat down like that, and i asked you not to move, you can't push against anything with your feet. no, your feet can balance, so i 'd better put them there, well, as you feel comfortable, yes, please, let's start, yes, ready,
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don't move, you are in balance, right hand forward, raise it, you were in balance, sitting on a chair on one leg.
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get by, in general, varya has disappeared, how did she disappear, let's split up, you go to the police, and i 'll check some of my thoughts, so that's it, we don't need your services anymore, mogi find the children before the police, that's clear,
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lady with a dog, new trail, continuation, watch on monday on rtr, bright sunlight bothers you, are you afraid of harmful ultraviolet radiation, bright sunlight blinds you while driving, then you need sunglasses that filter out bright sunlight while ensuring bright colors... perfect contrast and clear vision. we present hd polaris, 100% polarized sunglasses for perfect vision, equipped with original polarization technology to protect your eyes and vision. ordinary sunglasses only obscure your vision, but hd polariс offers clarity, vivid colors and perfect contrasts. almost every surface reflects bright sunlight, it is annoying and... straining for the eyes,
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special polarization technology filters out the reflection and guarantees a clear view, helping you while driving, hiking and cycling, today you will get your polarized sunglasses at an incredible price, only 39.95. but wait, today we are adding a second pair of hd polaris glasses in a cool brown frame for free, and the price remains the same. only 39.95, you save almost 40 euros, but attention, an absolute sensation, if you call right now, you will get a third hd polar also absolutely free, only today you will get three original hd pollar for the price of one, a handy case a microfiber cloth, and the price remains the same, only 39.95 and you are already saving
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a special sale price of only 6.95. just choose the right design create a unique look for your suburban area. we present you comfortable, durable and stylish artex sneakers, in which you will feel comfortable in any situation. this is a stylish and durable footwear that will suit both men and women. the sneakers have a soft back and side panels. this design saves your feet from rubbing. thanks to the wide velcro straps, the sneakers instantly adapt to any foot shape, high instep or protruding bones, and the comfortable back makes it easy to put on. the sole of the sneakers is made of ultra-light eva material and the shoes on the foot seem completely weightless. having bought artex sneakers, you will immediately appreciate this incredible lightness in your feet. the sneakers are made of high-quality material, which is breathable and allows the skin to breathe. two colors to choose from: classic black, universal gray, and a wide range of sizes. from
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size thirty-seven to forty-five, treat yourself to comfortable , beautiful shoes right now, call and order universal artex velcro sneakers for only 1,495. natasha, can you imagine, he built himself a dominatrix in turkey to live with his mistress, i need this house, it's cruel, how good it is that you came, i was going crazy alone before, and now we will go crazy together.
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yourself me, you love me, i love me, translation from turkish, premiere, on saturday, hello, on rtr, dreamer or the amazing world of engineer luzhin, you have more sugar in your blood than in soda, according to the analysis of candy gena, and i would like to be a candy from the holidays, the premiere is coming soon on rtr. the kaleidoscope of humorous works, jokes, all sorts of humorous genres continues.
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i understand, i'm at the market, like everyone else, choosing a watermelon, like everyone else i bring the kitchen, knock with my fist, like everyone else, no, the caucasian seller comes up to me and says: hey, stop knocking, no there's no one there, once in my life i drove without a seat belt, here it is, the internal organ, i got a fine like that... now, even when i sit on the toilet, i fasten myself with a roll , i don't see, once in a blue moon my wife and i decided to go on vacation, we went to spain, she bought me a new t-shirt for the occasion, a red one,
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she guessed the color, they just had a holiday, they let bulls out on the street, in red. only me, the bulls are watching, a gift from fate, we've never seen the sights so quickly, never, well, we're unlucky, it's a family thing, my sister has had no luck in love all her life, remember, the song says, because for every 10 girls, statistically there are nine guys, here mine has had all her life, she was returning from work at night, she comes up to the entrance, suddenly a man comes at her from the darkness, my first thought was, a maniac, how lucky, i immediately began to remember what we are taught, if
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a maniac attacks, you have to discourage him with an unexpected question, but mine says, i have to take off my tights, the man was stunned. yes, i wanted to clarify the address, and mine, that's understandable, and to take off the tights, listen, well, no luck, he went on a business trip to another city, after at the end of the conference they decided to throw us a party, they invited everyone to the sauna, and it was so beautiful there, they decided to take some photos as a keepsake, i said, just don't take photos of me with women, my wife will see and kill me, okay. we took a lot of photos, printed out everyone's photos, put them in envelopes , handed them over, i come home, hand over my envelope with photos, the first phrase: you were with a woman, how come, where have you looked at everything, well
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, it's nowhere, turn the envelope over, turn the envelope over, some bastard wrote there: don't put photos with women here, well, you're unlucky, in the summer we rented a dacha, the neighbors decided to breed rabbits, on this occasion a rabbit was purchased, a handsome fellow, blond, 100,000 rabbits mileage, giant, giant, a couple of times even looked at the owner, and we had a dog, dina, a good one. a purebred dog, well, purebred in the sense that there is no such breed that dina would not have, one evening brings something incomprehensible in his teeth, dirty, shaggy, i look, a rabbit, no longer
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quite white, and most importantly not quite alive, what kind of money to give, my wife washed him under the shower with shampoo, as it got dark, i went back to i took it to the neighbors, put it in a cage, well, who knows what the guy died of, i had nightmares at night, as if the dacha was surrounded by female rabbits, singing songs, the earth was empty without you, in the morning we woke up from a wild scream, it started, the neighbor runs in, can you imagine? our rabbit died, but what are you saying, how could it be, he was alive, he was still alive just recently, still? he lived and lived, and mine was in trouble, can you imagine, we run in, the neighbor is sitting in
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a complete stupor, the rabbit, he was sick, he was sick for a long time, he died yesterday, so i buried him, in the morning i look, he's alive... alive, which is typical, i managed to wash myself, no luck, guys, no luck, my wife watched too much erotica, decided to diversify family life, at least she warned me, in the evening i come home from work, she undressed me at the threshold and began to pour whipped cream from top to bottom. ticklish, but i keep quiet, endure,
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wait for the euphoria to come, and i think to myself, with my luck, now it will reach the center of the composition and the cream will run out, lucky, for the first time in my life i was lucky, enough, she became from top to bottom akkim bsenger smikirurga slizovoy, reached the center. composition looked guiltily and says: listen, i i ate too much, so, guys, if you have a bad streak in your life, you will remember me, you will immediately feel better, believe me, i am ashamed to say, even in toilet paper with the smell of peach, i come across pits,
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previously, to get various services , you had to run around to different authorities, organizations, collect a bunch of papers, certificates, now, to use several services at once, it is enough to contact the one-stop service. hello, hello, take a ticket, client number 777, go to window number three, hello, good afternoon, one -stop service, how can i help you, i need a new one.
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i forgot, i'll go now, no need to go anywhere, we have a one-stop service, we 'll do everything ourselves. wow, smile, i can't look like this, i have to go and comb my hair, no need to go anywhere, we have a one-stop service, put your head in, wow, oh my, thank you. hmm, oh, oh, i broke a nail, give me your arm,
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wow, how beautiful, can you tell me where they do hair removal nearby, put your leg in. wow, oh my, how beautiful, the other leg, come on, excuse me, i wanted to ask, i said a leg,
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not a head, don't worry, we'll do the transplant quickly. that's another matter, look here, now sign here, yeah, yeah, you signed in the wrong place, and my vision is bad, i can't see anything, one second, vitya, instruments for microsurgery of the eye,
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golum, stick it in, wow. we're sewing it up, done, oh my god, i can see, and where should i sign, right here, here, and why did you sign with a cross? well, to be honest, because of my bad vision, i haven't learned the letters, memorize them, and watermelon, watermelon, b - bun, bun, v ham, ham, oh, our appetite is so hungry, do you have a cafe somewhere here, i'll run quickly, no need to run anywhere,
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stick your head in here, come on, first course, second course and compote, oh, i've eaten my fill, i can't, i'm on a diet, i 'll gain weight together, now a slender pavement will start working under you, run, you need to run for at least an hour. i can't now, i have tickets to stas mikhailov's concert in 40 minutes, stanislav vladimirovich, well hello, divorcee, let's sing, without you, without you, everything immediately became unnecessary without you,
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from sunset to sunrise without you. how i need you , my beloved, oh, i'm in such a good mood right away, i even wanted to drink, here you go , i have to put the children in my passport, but i don't have children, and i really want children, but everything somehow... somehow didn't work out, i got it, vitya, and what should i push through, nothing... i have to,
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come in! and you see, nothing, i wish i had a husband like that, vitya, sign
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here, but... witness, you sign too, i pronounce you husband and wife! what a good one-stop service you have, it's me you came in successfully, the passport will be ready in a week, you will receive an sms, why do i need a passport with such and such a husband, why do i need to leave him somewhere, well then any advice. everything for you, policies, certificates for you, we will fulfill all applications for you, services, all with
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delivery for you, only for you, registration , loans for you, all the details in the world, for you, my face is shaved for you. only for you, one window is open for you, today give me a scarf, they told me that you are the thunderstorm of the area, i am only the thunderstorm in the entrance, to him i said all the best. i sent people here specifically as if to a sanatorium, this is therapy, songs from all of bushie, andrey malakhov's evening show, today on rtr.
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watch on sunday, killer gadgets as a know-how of modern terrorism, and lebanon is the first victim. this is one of the main hospitals in lebanon, the most severe patients were brought here after the terrorist attacks. is there protection from devilish technology?
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news of the week with dmitry kiselev, today on rtr. i ordered delivery from china on the website sly husband, full stop, no conscience. the latest development in the field of artificial intelligence. remote control from the wife, so, yeah, instructions, point the remote at the wife, press the power button, the program will be loaded into the wife, darling, i asked you to throw out the trash, but
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you didn't throw it out, and i still... power, how much more do i have to ask you, i'm spinning like a squirrel in a wheel, and he's sitting on the couch, doing nothing, he hasn't ruined his whole life, what is this so, it works, so, what programs are there, yeah, meeting my husband from work, oh, the love of my life, came home from work, my dear husband, you're tired, my good man, quickly put on your slippers and come in, my love, oh, my god, what a blessing that i got such a husband, he's the best man in the world, so, where did i press, and the sound off, this will be my favorite button, always...
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so what other programs are there, huh? yeah, here's the perfect house, oh, i need to move this huge sliding wardrobe to wipe the dust behind it, but i don't want to bother him over such a trifle my wonderful husband, oh my god, there's a web in the corner, wow, what a huge spider, oh you disgusting insect, now i'm going to pour bleach on you and kill you with a mop, but... even my mother will love her with a program like this. by the way, there's a program here, caring mother, who's so cute, who's so mashenkiy? nice little snub nose, what eyes are looking at me, now mommy
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will change you. persian, now we'll put on dry clothes and take off wet ones, that's a program, it came in handy when i fell into the river drunk while fishing, so, and what's this us for the program, oh, probably for the little ones, an evening fairy tale, oh, bag, with a fiery caress, to shake off my washing. passion, i want to fulfill your most cherished fantasy. i bow my knees before science, although they almost do not bend. thank you, dear
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scientists from the celestial empire, only you were able to understand what a simple man needs. so, what kind of program do we have? pet care? who did this, who did it, now we'll go to the vet, he'll give you a snip-snip, and you 'll live a carefree, happy, long life life, it's about time, otherwise my litter box is always empty, i have problems with the cat, yes, because my boots are always full, i wonder, yeah, the neighbor parked his car in your spot, and... oh, what are you talking about, guys? are you out of your mind? now i 'll stick my heel in your labeshnik, come here, you unskinned penguin. that's it, from today
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i'll park wherever i want. i'll have to order a second remote control for my mother-in-law, and so that it only has two buttons, dear zichok, i brought you some moonshine and, oh, it's time for me to go home, that's it, i'll start living now. oh, i'll do it now i'll make a mess, hu, thank god, i earned it, oh my god, what a huge spider, oh you hot insect, now i'll fly to the cotton, fu-fu, fu, fu, your product has arrived. check it out, cabbage, kefir, buckwheat, oh, sumedyushchiy caress, knock down my sunny passion, and the first time
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i see a woman so happy about buckwheat, darling, what are you doing, are you disgracing me, hey? who is so pretty among us, who is so tiny among us? stop it, i beg you, stop it, please, what an interesting woman, stir up my passion, i would be happy to stole, but i'm embarrassed by her husband, a man, not holding up well. we have a warehouse of large-size diapers, enough for a week, i can make delivery, oh, what are you doing, what are you doing to the shore, oh, woman, i just
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brought you some buckwheat, i'll give you my katka in a labashka now, well, come here, i'm skinned, oh, mom, someone has already stirred her up strongly, oh, love, all my. life came home from work, my dear husband, you're tired, my good one, you're probably tired, darling, sit down, rest, who did this, who did this, that we'll go to to the vet, he'll give you a chip-chick, and what are you sitting there for, i asked you to throw out the trash, i'm spinning like a squirrel in a wheel, he's sitting on the couch, not doing anything all his life hasn't spoiled, what is this, how sweet is the sound of your voice, my beloved wife is the best in the whole wide world, you're tired, sit down, rest, i'll do everything myself, i'll wash the floors,
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wipe the dust, take out the trash, have you hit your head or something? no, i just love you very much, the best woman in the world. and in seventh place on our hit parade is alexander sirov with the song: "i love you till". i'll take the hammer drill in my hands again, i'll change the old
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drill on it, i'll do some repairs, i have hands, i'm very lucky with my neighbors, i'm starting, i 'm hammering, i'm pulling until i cry, at night i'm hammering again, there will soon be beauty here, in about five years,
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i haven't forgotten how to read, remember, one, two, three, search my pockets, don't mint a ruble, i don't remember where they are, remember, three two times, maybe i hid them under the mattress, i remembered under the mattress, but whose mattress, i don't remember, the fifth place goes to the ivanushki group, in the sky a little bit here and from here
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went out for a walk i have new sneakers on suddenly on the field damn there are cows walking merrily like a butterfly i flutter, suddenly i step on something soft, there are heaps on the field, and heaps, heaps, and heaps, like people, like people, they, so i can.
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i'm so used to falling asleep with the window open, but the sweetest dream instantly flew away, because spartak fans sang a lullaby under the windows at night. do you know?
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darling, maxim, you have one thing, we want to ask, why a crowd, of grown men, so their mountain, a song about love, pray bye, darlings friends, what i sing about in this song, the meaning is one, read between the lines, to play football what. to win it, to score at least once, do not regret, but the bronze place goes to the group hands, my baby, i miss you, i promised to write to me, they promised.
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i also got and added a little jam, as soon as dad took a sip, what the device showed, shouted, what a feast, my brooch, i miss you, i am condensate, i get from you, i am a serpentine, i managed to get a good one, they dig tasty drops, oh god, my brooch, i miss you i miss you, i get income from you.
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add tradition, don't lower the degree, we have so many alcoholic traditions, we only have time to observe them sparks from the eyes, we don't pour over our hands on the penalty area, but only one has a cruel effect, knocks all foreigners off their feet. do you know what tradition, tradition for a posashka, well, and gold, first place goes to irina allegrova, i will build a barrier, for so many years the same question, all men
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are tormented, women of which country on the planet are the best immediately breaks into laughter, what. narrow plans, well, of course our women are the best russians, we can easily can cucumbers in a jar, run to the store instead of doing exercises, plow a tower with horse power, weed all the beds in the garden, hammer nails into the wall, wash all the dishes, look great without makeup and... and melt the family hearth with you, here it is, our female lot, hey, it feels like i forgot something, the premiere on rtr,
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a lot of details, yes, there is no connection between them, when intuition fails, i do not have time to switch, i do not have time either. we present to your attention a real hit of sales, a luxurious bag of chocolate from genuine leather. elegant, stylish, very roomy chocolate bag is made in the patchwork style and goes well with any clothes and shoes. it will become your reliable
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companion to work, to visit, on a walk to the store. soft genuine leather, high-quality fittings, classic shape, optimal size. such a bag. will be appreciated by the most demanding fashionistas, it will emphasize the femininity of its owner and add even more charm, the design of the bag is thought out to the smallest detail, two large zipped compartments, four external pockets and even a secret compartment for an umbrella, all this will allow you to conveniently organize the space and maintain order in your handbag. stylish design - two trendy colors to choose from. universal black and noble brown. call right now to order an exquisite. bag chocolate made of genuine leather for only 1995 we present the pillow dremalina svon, a comfortable pillow for rest, which embraces your entire body optimally aligns it so that you experience the best sleep in your life. the unique shape of the pillow the dremaliina swan pillow offers seven comfort zones that support your back, shoulders,
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design and innovative tribrush technology. you will easily clean under furniture, where it is usually very difficult to reach. and only today, the unique, ingenious cordless livington dipper swipper electric broom with smart built-in corner bumpers that protect your furniture. wall skirting boards. from scratches can be yours for only 89.95, but if you call and order right now, you will receive an incredible discount of 20 euros, and livington dipper swipper will be yours for an incredible 6995, but hurry, the offer is strictly limited. these are shots from the famous documentary by arkady mamontov, in the fall of 2000, the criminal story of nina tkacheva from ryazan could return death. his organs. exclusive.
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20 years later, we found andrey, and he will be back in ryazan, where his childhood was stolen. meeting with his mother and family. malakhov on monday on rtr. today we have artists as our guests. but not simple ones, you see, they are standing there, the artists are unusual in that they are dancing artists, this is an exclusive show, while dancing they do something else, they draw portraits, and we will see their results.
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days to think, what is on it? so we will think, what will they draw, dancing artists, yeah, yeah, i'll make your all the dreams
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come true, i'll be your lover all night, we're girlsing tonight, your mind will be together, i will take you high and tonight tonight. i'm the one who's in control, yeah, let's play with me, let's show it out, let's clear with me, let's sh it out, let's cl with me, let's sh it out, let's play with me, let's show it out , let's enjoy the night, can't you feel, all i want to do, enjoy the show, enjoy the night you feel me, yeah,
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yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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looks like, thank you guys, you did it brilliantly, but i need to draw the dance, but well done, bravo, while evgeniy petrosyan all-all-all, who graced the screen, all, all, all, all, who was with us that evening, gave us a good mood. entertained us and joked, and also white spoke, and carried decorations, here evgeniy petrosyan all-all-all, packs jokes in a suitcase, all, all, all, all, he always takes laughter with him, saying goodbye, waves to us, see you, viewer, dear!
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hello on the russia tv channel , irina rossius is in the studio hosting and the main topics for this hour: don't move, he's looking here, bernie, don't twitch, don't run! in kursk border, risking their own lives, military volunteers offer not only. evacuation, but also delivers food bulletproof vests. the fighting continues. mi-28 struck at manpower armored vehicles, knocked out enemy.

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