a simple, leisurely walk in the park, the best psychological relief, the rustling of leaves drowns out the city noise. oksana maksimovo, artem kuznetsov, evgeny makunev and alina filatova, news. we have all the information by this hour, irina rossius and my colleagues were with you, all the news is always available on the media platform, watch in the application or on the website smotim.ru. see you.

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at the moment, so to speak, i am in search, engineer, well, don't call me ever again, well, i called you myself, everything is in this family. on a great feeling, and how will my subordinates be afraid of me, if my husband is a sausage, on a sense of humor, excuse me, who are you? i, your lucky ticket to a new life, here my business card, it says discount on windows and doors, yes, and what's wrong here, what's wrong, irina razanova, luzhin, stop suffering, yuri stoyanov, the boundless world of his imagination.

bring it here, everything sour, spicy, spiced, everything, everything, expired food is possible, necessary, a dreamer or the amazing world of engineer luzhin, premiere, sunday on rtr, go away and don't ruin life. and to my sons, i honestly tried to be a good wife to you, but it didn't work out, i didn't fall in love with you, it's time for gleb to find out who his real father is, olga pavlovets, i really need to find ivan, you do you still love him? evgeniya loza, i want to go to him, don't be afraid of anything, we have to try everything, everything, dmitry mazurov, but i can't forget you, so many years have passed, and i'm still alone, come on! let's try again

together. olga prokofieva. why can't you bring anything back in this life? i lost everyone and now i'm alone. you're not alone, you just don't remember me, and i'm sonya. hello. and who are you? a big family, a premiere. today on rtr. hello, hello, hello, we're on the air again, calling you to a fun view of life. it is no coincidence that many

considered laughter as a serious matter, but because in this cheerful understanding of existence there is a life-affirming principle, a person having laughed. in a good mood sees life more optimistically, which shapes his actions closer to a positive result. everyone loves humor, from young to old, it's just that humor is a little different at different ages. we prefer to serve at all ages. by the way, some old men and women help humor, and no offense will be said. no, not because that they are funny in connection with their backwardness in understanding modern life, because they sometimes try to seem young, modern and advanced. grandson, go have dinner, there's poison on the table, i'm coming, granny, go let it cool down, the grandson gets up from the computer

, they head to the kitchen, granny sits down in his place at the computer and exclaims: "you got carried away, brat!" "the old lady on the bench at the entrance must have time to do three things in this life: seat the neighbor above, line up the neighbors below and give birth to gossip, and the neighbors behind the wall, the old ladies are talking, so, on the bench, they say bitcoin is getting more expensive, oh, that means they'll delay my pension again, grandma, grandma, why do you need such big eyes, and to see better,

"you know who i got, a drinking horse, but i didn't pick up an alcoholic, ugh, wait, a drinking horse, a drinking horse, a drinking horse, a drinking horse, a drinking horse, yeah, that's a suitcase with brains, people are frail these days, it's hard for them to carry their brains around with them, they stuff them in a car, in a computer." oh, kolyanona, your brains will fit into a calculator with a reserve, you should probably kneel in front of the housekeeper for five years fell, well, what, i bought a crazy horse, then this tomato, manicure,

no-no-no, wait, manicure, tomato, monitor, monitor, i need it. you see, but to type - keyboard, keyboard, keyboard, keyboard, you know, if our clown hadn't been a fool, i would never have remembered, well , the keyboard, such a pitiful little board, you have to press it in the cemetery, in each cemetery there's a letter, and then on top of everything.

"son, darling, i've been driving mine for a long time, i say, the firewood is gone, only chips are falling out, he says, understand, i'll i have to tune it, i say, o'. my last tuning was about 20 years ago, and he noticed that i was worried, and he says: granny, darling, don't worry, don't fuss, relax, i say, i'll send you everything you need from my pc myself right now, of course i scream, i don't need anything, he says, how can you not, your mother is naked, in a suitcase with brains,

disks right, at least you think sometimes,

disks, sometimes you wipe disks with them, you don't need to wipe anything with them, this is with songs, and sometimes with movies, it's called strangle, no, give it out, no, wait, there was an association with you, you've been driving me crazy all the time, here... listen, kolyanovna, i completely forgot, i now have my own email, who washed with someone else's, you're completely fucking stupid, honestly, email, this is yamail, yamail, you can use it to get acquainted, correspond in entomnet, do you know what i wrote about myself to get acquainted, charming blonde sons, legs from ears, hair without... sent a photo of paris hilton, but she got pregnant,

but do you know how many men responded, everyone wants to get acquainted with me, one writes, that he is an engineer, he attached a photo of olen dillon himself, but kolyanin is lying, it is customary to lie to agents, this is also in ritual intimidation. "listen, kolyan, you still want to get married, come on, let's create your own email for you, and what should we be embarrassed about, you will be our dog, kolyan, why are you offended, all dogs are in ume, and here is such a world kennel, your password will be sclerosis"! so that you do not forget, kolyan sclerosis in latin letters, come on, so that

we will make up something about you there and send a photo to angelina jolly, instead of you, that your send a photo, are you serious, don't you feel sorry for men, do you want to be honest, well, let's have some fun, what about kolyanova? 80 years old, weight 35 kg, wants to get married, where should i go, that's it, kolyanu, i'll send you a parcel, that is, for reconnaissance, ugh, a mailing list, a mailing list, well, there are men sitting there, digging into us, now look at you, you would be angelina jolly, and now it will be jolly with a pen. look, the answer has already

come in an instant, that's what gentitnet does, what kind of broth specialist reacted to you, and what kind of mad man is that writes, look, look, look, kolyanovna, who wants to get married, you look, and i advise you to contact some kind of kundskamera, okay, my dear, go ahead and contact me, don't miss your chance at happiness, and i'll run, otherwise the neighbor, the programmer, will scratch at the door, to wither after his mobile.

perform on stage in glasses, why, why, by the way, once the expression came from me, why pokochinu, i became a bespectacled man, friends, i put on glasses and feel good, someone said, respect people in glasses, they paid money to see you, they told me about one person who even slept with glasses on to better... "maybe you should stop wearing glasses altogether, since you 've seen a lot in your life, after all, i prefer the advice of a professional ophthalmologist, he said: "every person with poor eyesight should have two pairs of glasses, one for reading,

the other to find the first, this is very practical advice, there is even a dish related to a specific profession: for firefighters - stew, for drivers - a bagel, and for ophthalmologists - fried eggs. there was such a joke, a skinny an intellectual caught his wife in bed with her lover, the lover got out of bed and turned out to be a hulk under 2 m. the intellectual took out a gun and said: "it's good that you're so big!" otherwise i forgot my glasses at work, where is our new eye doctor, well, what's the matter, well, i was here just now, well, what's the matter, do you want me to look you in the eyes, i'll look into your eyes, and not check your vision and shine a lamp on you, well, who told you, who told you that i

'll never take off your eyes, i 'll examine each eye, each of my eyes now, i'm the best in the world. of these, you are so you know, but it's a pity, no way, i can't see you, well, at least make a sound, or at least bark, woof-woof, hello, man, excuse me, of course, it's you who's our new eye doctor, yes, semyon apolinaevich, pluck out my eye, nice to meet you, in general, i'm here, doctor, at 180, corners, here, here it is, hello! very good, undress, good, why undress, i want to examine your lens, do you want a lens, and what will you see there

, interestingly, in this crystal, well...

read the bottom line, i read, ophthalmologist, idiot, where did you read that? well, there it's written in felt-tip pen on the wall, read what's written on the poster, okay, you blind-eyed optometrist, where is that, well, it's written in small pen on the poster, read what 's written in big letters, you slow optometrist , i don't like your eyesight, you see, close both eyes, okay, i closed them, do you see anything, i can't see a damn thing. very good, sit down, okay, open your eyes wide, i opened them, and now pay attention,

addresses, passwords, addresses, streets, those are exact, house 10, 5, password, ask the matron, review, let's go screw alcoholics, you won't get a matron's body, calm down, calm down, calm down, i told you everything, you see, everything is very good, well, what about me, after all , with my maturity, your eyes react to light perfectly, eh, you see, i don't really like your outlook on life, but it seems to me that you need to look at the world mm, with other eyes, whose eyes, i don't have any more, well, for example, instead of one eye, i can recommend you to insert a peephole, it's very convenient. well, for example, someone wants to get through to you, and you first look in peephole, if you don't like this client, you just don't open up to him, yeah, well i don't know,

i need to think about it, do you want, do you want me to show you my pride, is it worth it, doctor, i've only just faded, we've never seen anything like this? pansies, and you like flowers, or what, anyuta loved them, my first patient, since then i've kept her eyes as a memory, here 's an american one. kolobok, roll out, the fox has arrived, the premiere is on rtr, leave me alone,

let me die in peace, we need your help, the investigation of the undertaking, the needs for justice, a basic human need, okay, you convinced me, we'll figure it out, well done, i never doubted you, my faithful sanchu, people. and anyuchek on monday on rtr. introducing the dremalinost pillow, a comfortable pillow for rest that embraces your entire body and optimally aligns it so that you experience the best sleep of your life. the unique shape of the dremalin svon pillow offers seven comfort zones that support your back, shoulders, head and neck, arms. keeps your spine in perfect alignment

position, call and order the unique pillow dremaline for your best sleep for an incredible 5995, but wait, if you call right now, we will reduce the price especially for you the pillow raspberry will be yours for... a pleasant 3995 and you will immediately save 20 euros, but hurry, the offer is strictly limited and is valid for a short period of time. now you can remove dirt, dust, crumbs, hair, wet food residue and even broken glass quickly and easily with the brand new livington electric broom dipper swipper. dipper swipper impresses with its original triangular design innovative. tribrush technology, you can easily clean under furniture, where it is usually very difficult to reach, only today the unique, ingenious cordless

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more! the manufacturer's recommended price of the waffle iron is 79.95, but you will get your the original power xl woffle star at a unique price, only 59.95. you will save 20 euros, but that's not all. if you place an order right now, you will receive as a gift a brilliant booklet with power xl recipes from a famous chef. but hurry, the offer is strictly limited. this is our home, yes my child, let me in! wait, i'm so sorry, let me in, ottosha, why did you leave him alone, and it's your fault, she treats me like an enemy, she mixes alcohol with sleeping pills, she is slowly killing herself, and i'm tired of being one, you're not alone, huh, i slept with genka, forgive me, forgive me, i didn't protect you,

i didn't hold on to yours, there are a thousand reasons to leave, there will always be one to stay, you are the mother of that boy, the body that we never found, what does it mean, we never found it, despite the body there is a chance that he is alive, that my boy is alive, my boy, today on rtr. it's my birthday today, will you keep me company, of course, a surprise, i'll have rabbit with béchamel sauce, how will you live with that later, don't eat pasta, on screwed up, and called his wife by a different name, well then only one thing can help you, and you can not in pots, i just won't survive it again, the history of a big country, the premiere is on

sunday on rtr. someone joked: women give themselves into the hands of men, so that later they can take them into their own hands, as they say, the whole world is in the hands of a man, and a man is in the hands of a woman. by the way, about hands, the artist mikhail mikhelev works in a rare genre, he casts different shadows on the screen with his hands, creating entire pictures, in a word, he casts a shadow on the fence, it turns out to be a play of shadows, all with his hands. ladies and gentlemen, now you will experience a whole series, a whole cascade of amazing, magical transformations. now all the lights in the hall will go out. turn off the lights, please. so, attention, only hands, shadow magic.

yoga, superbalance, oops, dear friends, thank you very much for your attention, bye-bye! in the summer we are always puzzled by vacation, where to go on vacation, so

that it is inexpensive, useful, fun, comfortable, and so on. frankly speaking, in our difficult times these questions are incompatible, but our man, thank god, adapts. and also quite a few vouchers are given out by trade unions absolutely free of charge, so let's go to such a sanatorium and see for ourselves that it's fun there! citizens vacationers, welcome to our super-duper-therapeutic sanatorium, it's very nice here, the sea is 10 m from the main building, so during a storm you can swim without leaving your room, the beach is sandy, very nice, sandy beach in places. pebbles is lying, of course, pebbles is a tourist

from voronezh, i warn you in advance, citizens vacationers, do not drink on the beach alcoholic drinks, it's very unpleasant, one vacationer went swimming drunk and fell on a jellyfish, it was the only case in the world when a poor animal was poisoned by a person. if you drown, call the rescuers. in the last trip, a pensioner from ryazan, klavdyeva viktorovna, began to drown, but after two young tanned rescuers gave her artificial respiration, mouth to mouth, she began to drown three times a day, be careful during the procedures too.

we have discos in the evenings, well, like everywhere in sanatoriums, discos are called for those over 30, for those over 50, and for those who don't care, don't bring it. for food, and there was

an indescribable case, a pensioner from ryazan vlavya viktorovna was dancing and eating bananas, slipped on kuzhra and tried to get up, while she was getting up, she won the acrobatic rock-n-roll competition, but our most popular excursion is to the stud farm with tasting. for the convenience of delivering you back, write your room number on your forehead, there was an indescribable case: drillers from siberia, having tasted on the territory of the sanatorium, found gas, gas 21 volga, they got into volga went to the sea, but they coped, naturally, with the management, i... with my own eyes saw how the volga flows into the black

sea. but a pensioner from ryazan, klavdiya viktorovna, after the tasting, made a mistake in the number. and her vacation, finally, acquired the desired meaning. and it was like this. another vacationer after the tasting on the way to the sanatorium met a policeman on a horse, approached the horse from behind, found which side to approach from, you see, pulled the tail and began to recite poetry, give jim happiness paw to me, the horse immediately fulfilled his request, he was dug in the forehead. flew straight to the dormitory, to his room, where

klavdiya viktorova was waiting for him, or there was such an indescribable case: near the dormitory, workers mixed concrete, a tourist from chelyabinsk was walking in the evening after tasting and thought that it was medicinal mud. he stripped naked and smeared himself with concrete from head to toe. and later in the evening, walking along the alley, a pensioner from ryazan. klavdiya viktorovna saw a lonely sculpture. it seemed to her that it was the famous sculpture of david. she decided to chip off fragment as a keepsake. she took a huge

stone. she hit the fragment with cobblestones, the scream knocked out the windows in the main building, and i would like to note that our sanatorium is of international level, foreigners are on holiday with us, please do not bother them. behave decently, otherwise there was an indescribable incident: a tourist from japan got a stye on his right eye, a pensioner from ryazan and klavdya viktorovna approached the japanese and decided

to help him in our way, spit in the eye. she did not know how to say good evening in japanese, so said, hende hoh! the japanese raised his hands up in fear, lavdiya viktorovna took aim and spat in his right eye, but hit the left one. the spat-on japanese wanted to run away, you can't run away that easily, she grabbed him by the chest and said: open your eyes kasaki, who squinted, repeated the attempt, after the fifth attempt she hit the right spot, the next day,

well, every cloud has a silver lining, the japanese's stye passed, but hiccups began. kladan decided to help him again, in our way, to scare him. late in the evening, the japanese walked along the park alley, hiccupping to himself calmly, not bothering anyone, suddenly out of the darkness, with a scream, ah tunkah. klavdiya viktorovna jumped out and bit him on the leg. they couldn't revive the japanese for 2 hours. until the end of the vacation, he was afraid to leave the room, but since

then the japanese hasn't hiccupped. he doesn't talk at all. many vacationers come to us again and again, have any of you already vacationed in our sanatorium, and klavnyaya viktorovna, you've come to us again, in that case, have a fun vacation to everyone, and i'm off. a dreamer or the amazing world of engineer luzhin. you have more sugar in your blood than in soda. according to the analysis of the candy gene? yes, i

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a holiday when big changes are taken up. and now, the time has finally come. but colorful perspectives, turn on your imagination, this is my favorite color, my favorite size, we raise not only building materials, but the mood, ooh, oops, wow, my heart is simply beating, the triumph of style in the program big changes, everything is clear, everything is reasonable, and the choice, the choice, it is always ours. on sunday on rtr, i need the rubinov hotel, you know, i'm going

to the city, i can give you a ride, what's your name, marina, zhenya, it's big cremiere time on rtf, i can talk to saleh demir, i need to give him a letter from my mother, i'm tired, i don't understand why you pay so much attention to this girl, if you want to know the truth about yourself, be ready for anything, you want to say, you're not looking at her, you're definitely crazy, she loves you, you decided to seduce ismail, to ruin his relationship with bride, you accuse me, you, who have more sins than any bandit, what are you talking about, color, grenade, i found, coming soon to rtr, when i looked at the character

you are about to see, at some point i got the impression that he had already celebrated all the holidays for the year ahead, i didn’t even understand if he was hallucinating or me, four hands that were crawling out of all the... cracks in my coat, i only understood one thing: hallucinations are found in quiet vermouth, yes, by the way, i just thought, fewer and fewer people call the great composer a hallucination.

when my unforgettable panorama of laughter was born, which in principle should exist today, because numerous young artists simply need me to introduce them to you, artists and writers of the present and the past, would very much like to talk about the peculiarities of our business and show you stage examples of these thoughts. in order to cultivate in young people the correct understanding of humor, corresponding to our mentality, our traditions and culture. as for variety humor of different times, then thanks to its mobility, its gratesque properties and artistic techniques, it never got lost in different years. it had something to say during

perestroika, during the era of reforms, that my jokes come true, they send such letters, write at least something good, maybe it will come true, i tried, i didn’t succeed, that’s the name of this essay, well, that’s what some people call me, a predictor, and so, first of all, the stars in the sky show that in the near future, you know, everything will not be so bad, in many cities the power outages, as the electricity will be turned off in these cities, in

vladivostok the heating will work around the clock, but... only in july will economists put forward a theory on how to make russia an evenly rich country, for this you just need to evenly settle the rich throughout russia, drive all the poor out of the country, psychics will continue to successfully treat healthy people, well done, just great, you know, very few people react to this phrase, a psychic will master a new type of treatment, tooth extraction from a photograph, as well as the removal of a criminal record on the composite sketch, but within the framework of the fight against smoking. zdrav warns, the production of cigarettes with a reduced content of cigarettes in a pack will be established. medicines will benefit only those who sell them. state duma deputies

will come out with a charity event: to provide all pensioners with free travel on public transport from 2 to 4 am. the gross output of our heavy industry will increase, all two plants. namely, a waste recycling plant, a waste recycling plant, a waste recycling plant. there will finally be some movement in the domestic mechanical engineering. the serpukhov plant will create a ten-seater limousine based on the aka car. and the same dimensions. in the field of domestic culture, we expect many bright events. it will pass with noise.

to observe traffic in the capital. the sculptor personally promised the mayor that the pupil will fit exactly into the dimensions of the garden ring. art historians will be pleased, oh, will be pleased with their discoveries. firstly, the model who based the brilliant russian artist kazimir malevich will finally be found. a stunning hall, but i must say. even no need to finish, yes, who posed for malevich for his famous painting, black square, well, since there are so many intellectuals in the hall,

excuse me, he'll play the hooligan, allow me, the one from whom fabrye made his works will also be found for you, shame on you, shame on you, he did. stars will be called simply a factory, because such stars can only be stamped out at a factory. instead of the program, who wants to be a millionaire, a new program will appear, it doesn't hurt to want. a new cycle of games will come out, weak

link, with new rules. for each wrong answer, the presenter will be personally by the kind of players. it will also be reliably established that advertising, advertising appeared long before television, in particular the picture. ivan the terrible kills his son, in fact called son, it was a cafe. and another event of international significance awaits great britain. everyone knows what position great britain took in the un in relation to the united states. so this position will be officially

recorded in the kama sutra. well, of course, the most changes will occur in the main country of the world, in the united states. for example, in the upcoming olympic games, american figure skaters, champions. city will not go, instead of them a very strong team of lawyers will go, who will fight for medals for these athletes. bush's biographers will establish that in childhood. bush wanted to become an astronaut, but for this it was necessary to study a lot, therefore he became the president of the usa. bush himself will begin to have a terrible dream that china has accepted islam. but in iraq next year america will have a real success. finally they will find the nuclear weapon, because of which the war began. it will be an old cannon, which.

to pull on american heads. and finally, the most important thing, a reliable interpretation of nostradamus's predictions concerning the end of the world will be received, it turns out that according to nostradamus, the end of the world will come in 2010, on november 14, in house number 13 on nogatinsky proezd, in the apartment of a resident of kornyukhin, who all these years will not pay for the light. all the rest.

what anna petrovna, are you playing detective with your grandmother again? fedya, we are not playing, we are living. lyutik and anni ran away. we threw out our fishing rods, and now, as viktor fyotich says, waiting for a bite. continued, watch on monday on rtr. introducing the dremaliina pillow, a comfortable pillow for rest

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what is this medical secret doctor's secret this is f holy, so what did you have to the left? distraction, he likes to be listened to and appreciated, i recently read a very funny monologue, a three-year-old boy comes on stage and says: grandpa, stop talking nonsense, sing better

wanted a groom, here you are, you got pregnant, listen, you know, as a doctor i want to ask a few questions, i was invited as a specialist. now you are my partner, in general today i have partners all a crooked mirror, everything, so i felt that in a crooked mirror not everything is so simple, it is very difficult to have a partner in the humorous business, a sense of elbows, an expert, i

pathologist of sex, you and i, we must talk. about sex, you understand, about sex, and not about comedy concerts, we must talk about sex, pull yourself together, i will now show you a table, number one, on it... a drawing, you must look carefully and answer me what is depicted on it, so pay attention to the screen, look, what is this, why are you asking me nonsense, i am not asking nonsense, i am asking what is this, this is a regular test, what is this, these are the eyes of a viewer laughing at the humorous end, i give it to you, this is refers to a woman, well, to a woman, well, a woman.

no need to tell anything, no need to tell anything, so pull yourself together, pull yourself together, pull yourself together, pay attention, i'm showing you table number two, it shows color photographs, you have to tell me which of these photographs excites you the most, which of these photographs makes you shiver all over, which goes all the way to your fingertips, there's a pleasant tingling, so, pay attention to the screen, this, this, this, this, this, this. when i see leon izmailov, i shiver on the body on the fingertips too, i get

great pleasure, i ask you, have you had something with women, have you had something with women, have you had something with women, have you had something with women? well, of course, i have, i have had a lot of jokes about women, for example, two women are sitting, one says: can you imagine, my husband is an idiot, i asked him to wet his jeans, and he started shooting at them with a pistol, hey, get married, let's do it again, let's do it again. two women are sitting, one says to the other: can you imagine, my husband is an idiot, what a husband, an idiot, here he is, she asked, soak the jeans, what the hell jeans,

blue jeans, they were new jeans, she asked him to soak, not soak in that sense, but soak in this sense, you can't find a third meaning, wait , wait, wait, wait, wait, "i don't understand anything, it's very good that you don't understand anything, i'll explain it to you now, you'll understand everything, people without a sense of humor don't understand jokes, naturally, you understand, but at the same time they don't admit it, they think that a joke is stupid, that's why they attack our humor, i'll explain it to you now and you'll understand, quantity, this is very important for this joke, here one says to the other, enough, no, she doesn't

say, enough, she says, imagine, i have a husband, he's an idiot, she thought that everything was two women, two, you see, there are two of them, even would be good, she didn't know that he was an idiot, she married him, and now she tells him, shut up, kill him, kill him, she says, kill his jeans, the idiot started shooting at them, you see, shooting, i beg you, let's talk about something else, she has no one else, and her husband is an idiot, instead of that, to celebrate a birthday with friends, he throws such celebrations deals with you as a result all jeans are shot, your age i am 20 + 50, only

all my life i waited for a prince on a white horse, they as luck would have it on a black horse, on a rotten one, in a sulfur apple, never waited, but to the clatter of hooves, still listening, long-awaited new humor, i really liked it, can i come to you again today? sunday on рrt. whiskey mancacher - a product of stellar group. cognac monte shococa, a product of stellor group. rixos premium seagate. family fun starts here, every detail is designed for your enjoyment. enjoy the water park for children, lush green gardens , the beauty of the coral reefs and the sea. immerse yourself in a world of unforgettable impressions at rixsos premium sea gate. rixas premium siegate.

opponents of the state would like to choose the path of radicalism. they need great shocks. time for big premieres on prt.

welcome to our program, just some kind of holiday, friends met here, 100% confidence that friends will not let you down, your humble servant, i'm a bit thoughtful, well maybe it's the asphalt that the asphalt pavers are laying, 100% guarantee that it won't be boring, aren't you afraid, the light bulbs can burst here, what are the tourists looking for in the cave, we have one of... maybe

he's the right one puddles, 100% pleasure from the game, do you know how to jumbling, i'm just smart, yes, yes, 100 to one, let's go, tomorrow on rtr, and how do you have cash, ivana, i still couldn't forget, at first i waited for him to call, come, and then... i didn't call social workers, listen, why didn't you admit to him that you are you, and you have no one at all, no, thank god, i wouldn't want my loved ones to suffer because of me, what's next, you still won't tell him the truth, a big family, a premiere, today on rtr, in search of variety

in our show's numbers. of course, i came across an original genre, it is very diverse, there are clowns, pantomime artists, puppeteers, and magicians, and musical eccentrics, and stunt acrobats, and others, you can't list them all, but on our television and on they rarely perform on stage, you may ask why, because they have scattered all over the world, performing in various foreign shows. they don't need a translator, they have found work there, and where else but in our show can they be periodically brought together.

how a student and a professor greet each other, a hereditary member of eight academies of sciences during an exam.

but now let's show something sincere, how electricians greet each other. how representatives of sports disciplines greet each other, let's say, something simpler, like sumo.

okay, then how do representatives of elite professions greet each other, plumbers. can't we say something higher, so to speak, how do climbers greet each other?

how do representatives of the oldest profession greet each other, undertakers, secretary and... bravo, bravo, well then, finally, how do people greet each other after the holidays?

so, okay, i'll go first, you follow me, if anything, we'll sit in the same cell, i wouldn't want to, okay, no big deal. lyutik and anyutik - premiere on monday on rtr, watch the show, tired of boring waffles and ugly toast, forget about it, because with the new power excel waffle star waffle maker you will discover a whole new world of belgian waffles, and your kids will ask you to make them again and again. here's the secret: the waffle maker's non-stick plates have a deeper, larger design, allowing you to add any kind of filling. cherry jam to make a cherry pie or fill the center with scrambled eggs, ham and cheese to make an omelette. in just three steps, you will have your perfect

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waffles and more. the manufacturer's recommended retail price of the waffle maker is 79.95. but you will get your original power xl woffle star at a unique price, for only 59.95. your savings will be 20 euros, but that's not all that's all. if you place an order right now, you will receive a brilliant recipe booklet as a gift. power xl from a famous chef, but hurry, the offer is strictly limited. we present you with comfortable, durable and stylish artex sneakers, in which you will feel comfortable in any situation. these are stylish and durable shoes that will suit both men and women. the sneakers have a soft back and side panels. this design saves your feet from rubbing. thanks to the wide velcro, the sneakers instantly adapt to any foot shape. high instep or protruding bones. and a comfortable back makes it easy to put on. the sole of the sneakers is made of ultra-light eva material. and the shoes on the foot seem completely weightless. having bought artex sneakers,

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the dipper sweeper with clever built-in corner bumpers that protect your furniture, skirting boards and walls from scratches can be yours for only 89.95, but if you call and order now you will receive an incredible 20 euro discount, and the livington dipper sweeper. secret investigations from monday to friday on rtr. good morning, my love, my voice

sounds only for you, my heart beats only for you. in this program , not only songs come true, but also wishes. did, how could you, taxi, taxi, taxi, so hard, turn on oleg gazmanov's song at full volume, just wait for me, they keep me through the rains, wonderful flowers, they still live in me, some kind of fantasy,

rush hour, isn't it a situation for humor, especially in the morning in transport you understand the whole hidden meaning of the phrase, the world is small, a man told me, yesterday he decided to ride a bus during rush hour, so... i haven't even been in such close contact with my wife yet, when the quarantine with the damned coronavirus ended, there was such a case, in the morning at the next station in a crowded danilza's carriage, a man came in and shouted with genuine joy: "brothers, how i 've missed you all, that's how it is! there was an incident in a crowded bus, one big guy kept leaning on a small fragile woman, he would hug her, then press her to the ground, the woman was silent, enduring only

looking at him questioningly, the big guy did not apologize. at his stop, the man got off the bus, a woman got out after him, caught up with him and slapped him, walked away, saying, what a bastard, and how much did he promise? yes, there are times when the feeling of elbow becomes simply unbearable, it's rush hour. one alcoholic, by the way, admitted, i can't ride in an empty bus, i can't. only in a crowded one, in an empty one i fall, fall, fall, you know, like in the rest of the world, in uzbekistan we have a very popular form of transport, it's the bus, you have it too, yes, but you have a lot of metro, we have a metro, in short, where the station is, that's it, the rest we go by bus, well , in uzbekistan they say, if you get sick , have a cold, your lower back hurts, you don't need to go to

the doctor, you just stand at the bus stop, that's it, good people, they'll carry you into the bus themselves, five or six stops, you'll go, they'll carry you out themselves, your lower back doesn't hurt anymore, and you don't cough, you don't have a runny nose, because there's a steam room there, there's a massage, the name is express, that is, a big press, express, here the express leaves the stop, and two people are running after it, a young guy in front, an old man behind, the old man is tired, hey, big guy, that's it, stop, hey, that's enough, oh, i'm going to die now, another one is alone, hey, son, grandpa, you stay, i have to get on this bus, no, son, i'm tired, let's get on another one, son, stay, no, i have to get on this one get on the bus, why exactly on this bus, because i'm the steward of this bus, and you

can't imagine what's going on inside the bus, there was a smell of cigarettes, someone lit up, we... who's kirill? i ask kirill, who? who's kirill here? a young russian guy gets up, i'm kirill, what's wrong ? why are you smiling? why are you kirill? and why are you kirill? there's no air, are you still kirill? why are you the bus kirill? what are you yelling about? i've been 15 years old, i'm 75 years old, i've never been kirill, the old man didn't breathe for 5 minutes, then he came to himself, a slender russian girl fell on the old man, shap'or stop, why did you stop, we're all waiting for him to say, best man, that leg of yours pressed the brake, so that this leg

will live 100 years, thank you well, now humor will talk about scammers. i read this ad in the newspaper: i cure excessive naivety and gullibility. with 100% prepayment , a 100% guarantee is provided with your subsequent conclusions. it should be noted that these people do not just come up with some schemes that they use, they also have some hypnotic abilities, he the chairman of the court deprived the scammers of the defendant's last word so that they wouldn't talk down the judges, you have to be careful with them. there was

a case when an article about new types of fraud was so... that after its publication the number of cases of fraud increased significantly, the main thing is what they come up with? scammers from st. petersburg sold two naive people tickets for the piter, dash st. petersburg train, can you imagine, these naive people discovered the catch, but only at the station, when for some reason the train was not on the schedule piter-saint petersburg. where they actually had to go. in the morning , a call rang in the apartment of pensioner maria ivanna. she put it off. "your grandson got into an accident, he is at fault, an expensive car was wrecked, there are victims, this is from 3 to 5

years of imprisonment, to help the grandson avoid prison, you need to pay, how much the pensioner babbled, 3000, get the money ready, now..." our man will come, but no one will tell anyone about this, otherwise the grandson will end up behind bars, but i don't have that kind of money at home, - said marya vanovna, you need to go to the bank, okay, go outside, a silver zhiguli will drive up to you and take you to the bank, a car drove up to the bank.

with two bags of potatoes and a net of onions, load them into the trunk, and let's go, she said to the bored guy, to the bank, he asked again, yes, mine, marijuana threw, you can't go to the bank with potatoes, and on the way by the supermarket, stop, you need to buy bread and milk. the driver frowned, but said nothing, why sit around doing nothing, he would help his grandmother, she noticed , getting out of the car near her house. the swindler

obediently dragged himself after the pensioner, on the fifth floor, and there the police officers were already waiting for him, and what about his grandson? - asked the detainee. yes, i don't have any grandson, the pensioner answered calmly, as if there had been no accident, i saw through you right away, and then why did you have to go to the bank, how come you don't understand , to pay for the apartment and the phone, why go to the dacha, to bring home potatoes and onions. go, go, i'm not your granny-cat, i'm a retired police major, today the poor cook from

the pitching squirted three packs of starch into his compote, the compote became viscous, like a swamp, the jelly from the compote turned out thick. fell down in a pot with cabbage soup, a candy bag, along with vegetables and the taste turned out to be quite interesting, fish soup with caramel, lemon and mint, well, in general, today in the kitchen at coco with cooking, a complete hassle, an unusual dish comes out all day, furniture breaks , dishes break, poor sailors are hungry all day and spoon with food gets past their mouths, save me! and here three, ladies and gentlemen, we are crossing the indian ocean, the air temperature is +35,

there is a light storm outside, so that maybe let's go, what are you doing, do you need to pour the fucking?

he is 85, he will leave the hustle and bustle, he will start playing with the cat and trimming the bushes, walks on the ugly and give pennies to the pigeons, what could be better than planting gooseberries, because he is now a simple pensioner. simple, but no, because there is a concert in the evening, he is 85, he will live on the seas, he will wake up at five in the morning, dive into another wave , he will love fishing, hang a hammock, a hammock swings, a fisherman snores in it, fish soup, at lunch, papaya for dessert, wine, no, because there is a concert in the evening,

he is 85, everyone is on the bike, he will go to conquer kilometer after kilometer, walesa does not get up, again waits forward, and then weaves in an armchair with a book to have fun, to the table with the family, what day is it, what, we're still sitting, but tomorrow is not, a concert, he will perform, while he has the strength to stream, at 85, at 93. but he has wine, he's already taking me to the cartafalk on his last journey, but he gets up here, where i won't go back, no, there's no way, because in the evening there's a concert, he's a gomaz on the stage, he 's a fisherman here, a homebody for a walk, a neighbor to everyone, and she with a scythe will come for that...

he'll watch the concerts and decide, well, what's the matter, snow, well , who knows what will happen and what won't, but there is also a fact, what, because in the evening there's a concert, and in the evening a concert, they say that we ourselves invent problems, obstacles, complexes, humor helps on everything on itself.

laughter is an assistant to overcome these traps, god grant that we artists succeed in it, and you, the viewers, accept it.

hello on the tv channel russia, host in the studio irina rossius and the main topics for this hour. an important mission: to help everyone find their own path.