learned video actors, make congratulations to children, and we immediately and children, grow up in their eyes, to penetrate this wonderful company is possible only in two ways: by using official position or to live to a certain silver age, promised to wait. irina baranova, andrey lapidus, anton dubnov nali borisova, week in the city. here is such eternal youth. it was a week in the city, we will return in exactly 7 days to tell. stories that

happened near us, see you.

i would like to be an opponent of statehood choose the path of radicalism, they need great upheavals, we need them. great russia, time for big premieres on rtr. dearest maria petrovna stolypina. i am one of those revolutionaries with whom your father fought in saratov. and i certainly intend to fight in the capital. my comrades and i are building a new russia. time for balanced words. i will not let the country be screwed. today there is pyotr arkadich, and tomorrow he is gone.

what do you think, not for long? which of our ministers of internal affairs lived for a long time? time for important decisions, only you have the power today the opportunity to save russia and lead it the right way. time has chosen him. i tolerate any mysticism, but still i can't get rid of the strange premonition. long live, russian revolution. and tables, and where is my family? soon on rtr, having gone through difficult trials together, people become a real family, continuing the work of their fathers, chose the profession of a military man, after watching the film... the heart

says to be where i am needed right here, now, there was nowhere to go, if wounded, not wounded, if he can move, he must move, they are going to victory, discipline and faith in the common cause, in our victory - this is what supports me, our prime minister, you live for this, for the sake of family and the future, from monday to friday, on rtr, this is olga. your new nanny, and what do you know how to act, like, like, like mary poppins on a minimum, came into the house, immediately charmed everyone, and it's not nice to envy, even a lady

of perfection has a past that is hard to forget, you can't get away from me, it's up to you to decide how many people will suffer because of you, for me you won't... leave me, i won't for what i will not leave, i will leave only when the wind changes, to be honest, i understand eduard, i could not let you go either, vanya literally the other day said that olya is his bride, you, as i understand, are not happy with this, as i actually do you have some idea, a nanny for the ragozhins, and where is olga? shamari poppins told us, goodbye, premiere, on saturday on rtr.

hello, dear friends, hello, suvacenci and guests of a wonderful city, a city that has become a real capital of domestic tourism. why go somewhere for border, when you can relax in sochi, and for the same money. that's why residents from all over the country flocked to the sochi beach. and, of course, jellyfish from all over the sea. ah, but these are all small things compared to how beautiful and unique this city is. the city of five seas. after all, sochi is not only the black sea,

but also a sea of ​​vacationers, a sea of ​​fruit, a sea of ​​smiles, a sea, in general, yes, what's there, it's a real ocean of humor. only in sochi , when asked where there is humor here, can you hear in response: where is there not humor here? that's why we we are very pleased to say: a new day of the humor festival in sochi is declared open. i am sure, friends, that you have noticed that the resort city. gets prettier every year with every glass of sochi wine, this could not be said, well, please forgive me, it's just that when our guest comes to the microphone on stage, there is always a feeling that a toast is about to be made, well, what toast, we have humor,

that means a funny toast, sasha, control yourself , i understand that a concert is, of course, not a feast, but this artist, any of his performance. turns into a real holiday, so let's raise, let's raise, but not glasses, but hands to applaud the main horseman of our stage, karenavanisyan. hello, hello, city of sochi, the most wintery city in winter, the most summery city in summer, the most hospitable at any time of the year, what

you won't see here, what you won't hear here, a husband and wife on the beach, she says to him: look, look at this couple, how he hugs her, how he kisses her, why don't you do it like that, darling, what are you doing am i crazy, or what, i don't even know her. two friends, two friends are chatting, one says, listen, i screwed up so badly recently, can you imagine, i named my wife after my mistress natasha, but i really fixed the situation, i recently bought a cat and also named her natasha, thank god, everything is fine, but one thing worries me, my wife bought a little puppy yesterday, and what did she name it?

you'll buy a mink coat, i say, oh, darling, this is not palmistry, this is some kind of cunning, then she decided to get involved in equestrian sports, she says, it's very useful, you can quickly lose weight, and really, listen, i lost weight in a week, only not my wife, but a horse, what ha-ha, they won't let us in there anymore.

knows relatives, here at night i hear a voice. won't let in, all the artists, like their own bruce, bruce, wriggle out, you love me, i thought they forgot to turn off the tv, but then my wife, without opening her eyes, took me in her arms, came and said: well, show me how you love me, show me what a tough nut you are, i

was so scared, well, you understand me correctly, no one has asked me about this in the last few years, i think maybe she has something my head went crazy, i woke her up and said: darling, first of all, i'm not bruce, secondly, i didn't get out, bruce has a fox's head like a knee. and mine is even a powdery knee, you can touch it, darling, touch it, she touched my knee and fell asleep with such a displeased look, as if it was my fault that i'm not a fox and not bruce willis, well, i think, okay, it happens to everyone, well, i think, it's okay, the next night she did it again. as soon as i fell asleep, i heard, leonardo, dicaprio, you love me, well, don't

be as cold as iceberg, show me how you love me like you did on the titanic, i say, darling, i'm not leonardo, i've never been on the titanic and the only iceberg i've seen is our dentist abram salomonovich iceberg, the third night passed peacefully, well i think, thank god, everything worked out, suddenly in the morning i hear, cristiano, ronaldo, you love me, oh you're on the field, come on, go around one player, the second, the third, and come to me, use some kind of power move on me. while the referee is sleeping, i

turned on the light, i say, darling, firstly, i'm not sleeping, secondly, what are you doing to the football players switched over, okay, okay, okay, aren't you ashamed to cheat on bruce willis with leonardo dicaprio with some football player, aren't you ashamed , she looked at me as if i had just scored a goal into an empty net, well, i went outside, and then i met my friend, he saw me, was happy, i told him everything, he said: it's all good, it's all normal, i had it too, and i cured her with humor and told her how, well, with humor so be it, i come home, my wife had just fallen asleep, i started tearing her pajamas with my teeth, screaming: "angelina jolly, do you love me, angelina jolie, we will have everything together, our love,

your millions in banks and my room in khimki. show me how you love me, show me like last time, listen, my wife almost fell out of bed, what do you mean, like last time, what, have you cheated on me with her already, i look, my wife with a rolling pin in her hands, running around the room looking for angelina jolie, well, you know, you laugh, but it helped me, and my wife decided, a better husband on the couch than a star on the... screen, thanks for the humor, karen avanisyan,

now, friends, that unique case when mentioning the age of ladies is not only polite, but also simply necessary. at the humor festival in sochi, young beyond their years, never despondent and most importantly always funny, new russian grannies. meet! attention, cruise lanner vasily chepayev has arrived at the first pier, the ship's captain and crew are saying goodbye to you, we hope that we will not see you on board anymore, we have had enough of everyone. talk to me some more , cardboard drummer, look, give me back the robes and towels, old cliptomaniac, yeah, right, maybe i should give you back your slippers, white slippers keep it for yourself, you bastard, i'm going to blow now, i 'm going to blow so hard, it'll

dry up right here, you blow, oh, comrade, 3 weeks, 3 weeks during christmas we traveled around different countries on a big white towel. go, oh, we were everywhere in europe, we were in africa, oh, such a good vacation would have been, if not for the flower, a victim of the ninth wave appeared, earth, what earth, earth stop.

she was driving somewhere, driving normally, sunbathing and drinking, ha-ha-ha, at the sea, at the sea, at the blue one, why did she constantly steal food from the buffet, oh, they never caught me, of course, they never caught her, they never even noticed how i i was stealing, every dinner i swear i'll stuff a kilo of food into a caramel and off to the disco to dance like vasilisa the wise.

i picked it up from the floor, blew off the dust and started gobbling, take a sniff, there was nothing that wasn't like that, there were chinese tourists, 28 people, i remember them now, they saw you, their eyes widened, and so until the end of the cruise they walked like russians, because i sold them this chicken, bravo, bombina, oh well, you're not a girl either, when you drink, i mean, let me remind you how you scared a german tourist, the german caught a cold, started sneezing, why are you? on the beach she crept up to him and began to heel mustard you, glory, i told you, shamelessly, i this folk remedy, i wanted to help, folk remedy, the german thought that you were gnawing his leg. want to gnaw, mustard for flavor on butter, the german to the end of the cruise, taxi, so somewhere generally did not leave the cabin, taxi,

taxi, taxi, but don't yell, you, what are you yelling, why not stop, yelling, yelling, he scared all the taxi drivers, who raspu, i scared, okay, klavki, if that's what you samata, samata in egypt, what did you arrange, what, look, look, remember the dog, well, big deal, i got a little tired in the pyramid, i see a crib , i lay down, lay down, lay down, and it's not a crib, it's a tomb, comrades, it's a nightmare at the sign, excursions in the pyramid, everything is fine, the guide is telling, the tourists are listening, suddenly...

what a blockhead, tsar, fool, lord, pharaoh, akhlomon or something, well, did i give him a name, you just shouted, go, here akhlomon woke up, here akhlomon woke up, well, his mother named him that, what about me, whose mother are you, akhlomonova, whose, should i mock you or something, you yourself, princess.

and what did you do in spain, in barcelona lucky for a day. so that it glides better, so that as they say with a breeze? after you an american

tourist went, such a breeze began, formula 1 socks smoke in the toilet, he was thrown off the hill, two blocks away the ministry of emergency situations found him, i will not go anywhere with you anymore, and when i remember what you did in africa, so i start shaking, and my hands themselves go to your neck, well , my hands are psycho. stretches in africa we went on a safari, the devil pulled, a hippopotamus was sitting in the river, not bothering anyone, why, why did you throw a bottle at him, and why is he lying there not moving, i why did i pay so much money in foreign currency, safari, damn, maybe not a hippopotamus, but a monument or a stuffed animal made of podmushe, at least some action started, people started running, he picked it up, a hippopotamus jumped out of the river, turned over a jeep, i run, he looks after me, a whole pack of lions is chasing, i have full slippers. adrenaline, i get up to my knees in emotions, these are runaways, she saw a tail in the bushes, pulls it out, and it is 4.5 m, a ringed

python, a red book, she started waving it like this, waving it and yelling at the lions to scat, bald patches of these in all directions, python from the red book 2 hours in a circle like this crawling, crawling, just like a drunk, i feel sorry for him, as if he drank away all of africa, i see, you're just having fun, huh? and they almost ate me, who needs a soup set in a slipper, but no one saw mine, thank god, that's where you're wrong, i filmed everything on my phone and posted it on youtube, yes, i posted it, youtube, klava the nightmare called 13,000 views in 45 minutes not bad, yes, i think that everyone in sochi is laughing at me and pointing their fingers, okay, don't be upset, have a sip of liqueur, peach liqueur, no i want, why?

i mean, this is shampoo, mine, what kind, peach, i think that every morning i have a lot of foam coming out of my ears, okay, don't rejoice, i'm looking too, the whole essay is laughing and croaking at me, and what are they croaking, i don't know, a hungry old lady and a live frog, 14 views, one, one, we're even, but look how many comments, here's the last one, these funny old ladies won't get a visa anymore, they really don't care, but now we have 20. we won't go, we'll fly, i'm afraid of planes, we won't fly on a plane, we'll fly in a hot air balloon, in a big hot air balloon, two colors of tangerine, let's fly around the planet together, visit the wagams, hang out.

832 mercedes octavia mercedes octavia 832 do you have bricks there or something? stop, you bastard, stop without me, don't leave women - yes, lyutik and anyutik in the previous episodes, where do you read the local news? i don't read them, i create them. two inseparable friends, lyutik and anyutik, don't waste their time in retirement. come on, hurry up, why are you waddling like a duck?

even you can eat like a goat. they brilliantly solve one crime after another, it's incredible, but true, they don't forget about their personal lives, cuckoo, and you that in ambush, something like that, yeah, kolya, you have to help me, for the sake of their new hobby, they are ready to take any risk. anna petrovna, you are playing detective with grandma again, seeing, we are not playing, we are living, lyutik and anyutik. we have cast our fishing rods, and now, as your viktor fetich says, we are waiting for a bite. continuation, watch on monday on rtr. now you can clean up dirt, dust, crumbs, hair, wet food remains and even broken glass quickly and easily with a completely new

electric broom. dipper swipper is impressive with its original triangular design and innovative tribrush technology, you can easily clean under furniture, where it is usually very difficult to reach, only today the unique, ingenious cordless electric livington dipper swipper with smart built-in corner bumpers that protect your furniture, skirting boards and walls from scratches can be yours for only 89.90. 5, but if you call and place an order right now, you will receive an incredible discount of 20 euros. and the livington dipper swipper will be yours for an incredible 6995. but hurry, the offer is strictly limited. we present you the richest source of high-quality omega 3, omega mary forte plus, produced in norway based on the fat of the triskov family. the beneficial properties of omega

3 are confirmed by thousands of studies, it is omega-3 that has a positive effect on the prevention of heart disease and heart attacks, helps strengthen vision and improve brain function. omega mary forte + also contains vitamin d. this combination has a positive effect on the functioning of the brain, heart, vision, promotes strengthening the health of joints, bones, teeth immunity. show care for yourself and your loved ones. buy a large family jar of omegaforte now, as much as 700. 20 capsules will be yours not for 120 or 100 or even 90 euros. call right now and get your annual course of omega forte straight from norway for only 59.95. we present you comfortable, durable and stylish artex sneakers, in which you will feel comfortable in any situation. these are stylish and durable shoes that will suit both men and women. at

sneakers have a soft back and side panels. this design saves your feet from rubbing. thanks to the wide velcro, the sneakers instantly adapt to any foot shape. high instep or protruding bones, and a comfortable back makes it easy to put on. the sole of the sneakers is made of ultra-light eva material and the shoes on the foot seem completely weightless. having bought artex sneakers, you will immediately appreciate this incredible lightness in your feet. the sneakers are made of high-quality material that allows air to pass through well allows the skin to breathe. two colors to choose from: classic black universal gray and a wide range of sizes from thirty-seven to forty-five. treat yourself to comfortable , beautiful shoes now. call and order. universal sneakers with velcro hartex for only 1495. favorites of millions of the main sports commentator of russia dmitry gubernev is 50 , he celebrates his anniversary full of surprises in our studio among friends. your anniversary is the anniversary of our

friendship, which means our holiday too. after that, my career just went up. dad with anniversary. thank you. came into the house, charmed everyone at once, and it's not nice to envy, even the lady of perfection has a past that is hard to forget. you can't get away from me , it's up to you to decide how many people will suffer because of you, you won't leave me, i won't leave you for anything, i'll leave only when the wind changes, honestly, i understand eduard, i wouldn't be able to let you go either,

vanya literally just the other day said that olya is his fiancée, you, as i understand it, are not happy with this, how do you actually have some kind of idea, a nanny for the ragozhins, and where is olga, said goodbye to us. premiere on saturday on rtr. dear friends, can you imagine sochi without the sea or, let's say, sochi without the sun? it is even more difficult to imagine humor without this bright, like the sun and boundless, like the sea, classic of our humor. whole generations of viewers grew up on his jokes and wonderful numbers? they grew up, but in their souls. remained as young, perky, energetic as this amazing humorist himself, people's artist of russia, evgeny petrosyan,

thank you, thank you. thank you, friends, i participated in almost all the yumarins, every time, for the next year i made a report on the state of...

our people, it is very ironic, this humor can be, and it can be multifaceted, i have once again collected this multifacetedness for your good mood, for example, such a story, the area was so disadvantaged that even the swings at night in... were dug up and brought into the entrance, you know, that's the picture. trump said that crimea is russian, because everyone there speaks

russian, well, he hasn't been to brighton yet, people joke very wittily, a man says, having come home, immediately suspected. something bad, mother-in-law and wife were sitting at the table, on the table there is a cake, napoleon, cognac, kutuzov borodinsky bread, we see. the battle will be serious, a very drunk young man is trying to get home, imagine this , he succeeds with difficulty, he takes two steps forward, three steps back, like this, two steps forward, three steps back, an old woman is watching him and advises: son, go backwards, you will get there faster. observation, my cat

thinks that i live with her, and sometimes in her i catch a hint in his eyes that it's time for me to live separately, i really like it, i praise it. because it's not me who comes up with it, i just choose, i select, the wife got on her husband's nerves so much that he robbed a store to take a break from her in prison, the court gave him 3 years of house arrest, it's horrible, the division of husbands and wives has begun, the real optimist is the wife, when she washes the windows, on

our fifteenth floor, she puts the keys to the apartment in her pocket just in case, the woman said: about my age, i can say this, i'm not waiting for a prince on a white horse anymore, no, but i still listen to the clatter of hooves. wonderful, a tired husband came home late from work, sweaty, in work clothes, his wife opened the door for him in stockings, black, leather underwear and a mask, he looked at her and asked, is there anything to eat batman? natalia was such a cold woman that the mosquito

that drank her blood got a sore throat. valya had such a piercing on her body that she always came back from the river with perch. galya constantly asked god. a lot of money, now she sits at the cash desk in pyaterochka, oksana, having read the sign in the bar, with you can't do it with your own, sent your husband home, ira brought the groom, dad burst into tears, he didn't see one. a 25-year-old schoolboy, yes,

it reminds me of something, my husband comes home from a business trip, immediately runs to the closet, opens it, no one, an impudent voice from the bed, yes, here i am, and i had an old version back in the day, my husband came home from a business trip, looked in the closet, rummaged through the balcony, my wife lies smiling, thinks, look, look, i myself am on my first day at home. the men at

work were thinking about what to give the ladies for march 8, they decided to give cosmetics, but the chief bookmaker took a long time i was looking for an expense item to register all this under. in short, the money for cosmetics was allocated under the item "facade and sign repairs". that's it. they came up with it, our guy will come up with everything, the joke about alcoholics started, the logic of a drunkard, so what if he went to bed without undressing, at least it's morning.

in the store, a boy asks the seller: "uncle, give me 20 kilos of sugar and 3 kilos of yeast, please, dad, he'll bake pies." yana at night with a flask of vodka in his back pocket fell on his back, broke this flask, badly injuring his butt. at home, looking in the mirror. he began to tape up the wounds with a band-aid. in the morning my wife was indignant. i'm not asking you where you've been hanging out, why is the bed all bloody? i'm asking why is the entire mirror covered in band-aid? another form, everything

is different here, pay attention, the dialogues have begun. excuse me, there's a live queue to see the doctor. so far yes, well, my beauty, let's go for a ride with the wind, i can't, osteochondrosis, let's take a swim in the river, i can't, rheumatism, let's take a steam bath, i can't , my heart is hurting, why are you so sick, making eyes at me, such a squint? victor, what would you advise me to read? anyuta, read a prayer while i finish reading the correspondence on your phone. lyusya, tell me

honestly, you had many men before me, oh, i don’t even know how to say it. say, and how many can you? the children went, one poor student said to the teachers before entering the unified state exam: now let’s see what you taught me, let’s see, mom, when will the doctor come? soon the doctor will cripple other children, while he’s treating them he’ll come to us, dad, i decided to marry my grandmother, she said that she loves me, i love her, very sweet, but she’s my mother, you can’t marry mine mom, why not, you married my.

and this is an example of great irony, a letter to school during a pandemic, my children are studying at home because of the pandemic, i ask the school administration to urgently donate money for apartment renovation, new curtains for gifts to parents for the holidays. that's how people can enlighten some phenomena of our life through humor, express their attitude to them. a series of dialogues in pancakes, they always have irony through the word, pancake, once comedians came up with this word

to replace a swear word, obscene, as you understand, in these cases such a replacement was inserted, well, that's what i called pancakes, please give me soap and a rope, do you want to hang yourself? no, damn, i'll wash myself, climbers, man, why are you running after the train so fast, are you late for it, no, damn, i'm throwing it out of the station, grandma, do you have potatoes for boarding? no, damn, for takeoff. do you want a sliced ​​loaf? no, damn, a smoothbore,

a man is walking in one boot: man, have you lost your boot? no, damn, i found it! people are being ironic about all this, i forgot my iron at home turn it off, and what, everything will burn or what? no, damn, everything. man, you must have been sitting on something for a long time, you have a newspaper stuck to your back, that's true, no, damn, news, i'll tell you, masha, i'm surprised such a beautiful girl doesn't have a boyfriend, and it's all, damn, because of her husband, what

a wonderful invention, only a modern person with such unconventional thinking could come up with this, a champion in assembling a rubik's cube was accidentally left alone at the new year's table and in 10 minutes he assembled half a ton from olivier. on doctor's sausage, five potatoes, three carrots, five eggs, four pickles and a can of green peas, here is another very original form of audio fairy tale in brief about a turnip. baby, granny, granddaughter,

bug, cat, mouse, turnip, chpok. in europe, where the fairy tale carol, alice in wonderland is still popular, the astroumians came up with such a breed for themselves, about their life today. and are we in the past or in the future? - asked alice. we are in the ass, - answered the rabbit. "and the ass is the present or the future? - asked alice. and the ass is

now a symbol of eternity for us. a man in i bought a talking frog in a store. the price tag said: "talking". at home he asks: well, the frog answers, quack, he again, well, well, little frog, quack-quack, what parasites, you deceived me, you non-speaking frog, you keep repeating, quack, yes quack, the frog to him, and what about you, well, well, well! a russian and an australian were riding in the same compartment, the russian got hungry, took out boiled chicken eggs, the australian

asked what these are, eggs, what are these? the australian bragged, here we have trausen eggs, these are eggs, one is enough for the whole family eggs, then a russian rolls a watermelon out from under the seat, an australian one. very good, exists in time infinitely, and many are forgotten, and i like

to dig them up and give them away for consumption. people, this has happened more than once, listen, a guy in a store offered, i'll determine the type of sausage by touch, tell you the price, and you 'll give me one kilogram of sausages for this, the sellers agree, blindfold the guy and lay out several loaves, he says, rubles.

malvina went in there, came out crying, it turns out there is still a sleeping beauty in the world, thumbelina came in, came out crying, it turns out there is also a boy-thumb, he is smaller, baba yaga came in, comes out amazed, indignant, began to swear indecently,

then asked, listen, who is ksenia? radiculitis has gnawed at our backs, i get angry more and more often, sclerosis interferes, this is a minus. humor saves, this is a plus.

oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, today my other half.

titanic luxury! borbon stersman is a product of stellar group. welcome to rix premium magavish suits & villas in hurghada. where luxury rooms and villas are combined with golden sand beach, 1 km long. impeccable service, exquisite cuisine

will make your holiday unforgettable. stellar group. allow yourself a first-class holiday with leo reorts, elegant details, a feast of exquisite tastes, a variety of entertainment, a golden beach and azure waves. liu reorts, we are here for you. rum, a product of stellar group. good morning, dear comrades, you

are listening to radio molya. we are starting a concert on the requests of workers to catch a worker. coming home from school, please your neighbors. to all who are waiting for new hits from vladimir matetsky, i answer, it's not evening yet, it's not time for food, it's time for spiritual search, time passes.

95 there is a short period of time, we give you durable and stylish artex sneakers, in which you will be comfortable in any situation, these are stylish and durable shoes that will suit both men and women, the sneakers have a soft back... such a design saves feet from rubbing. thanks to the wide velcro, the sneakers instantly adapt to any foot shape. high instep or protruding bones, and a comfortable back makes it easy to put on. the sole of the sneakers is made of ultra-light eva material and the shoes on the foot seem completely weightless. having bought artex sneakers, you will immediately appreciate this incredible lightness in the feet. the sneakers are made of high-quality material that allows air to pass through well, allowing the shoe to breathe. two colors to choose from: classic black universal gray and a wide range of sizes

from size thirty-seven to forty-five, please yourself with comfortable beautiful shoes right now, call and order artex universal sneakers with velcro for only 1495, this is olga, your new nanny, and you know how to act, something like that. just like mary poppins on a minimum, came into the house, immediately charmed everyone, and it's not nice to envy, even the lady of perfection has a past that is hard to forget, you can't get away from me , it's up to you to decide how many people will suffer because of you, you won't leave me, i will never leave you, i will leave only when the wind changes. honestly, i understand eduard, i wouldn't be able to let you go either. vanya literally said the other day that olya is his fiancée, i understand that this doesn't mean anything to you suits, as well as you have

some idea, a nanny for the ragozhenykh, and where is olga? shamari poppins said goodbye to us, the premiere, on saturday on rtr. attention, question: do you know nonna, how the bayan differs from the accordion? and, what a childish question, the bayan has buttons, and the accordion has buttons in addition to buttons. and the accordion also has a wonderful owner, a musician, a virtuoso, petr dranga, humor at his fingertips, how are you, but i overheard behind the scenes, it's fun, you know, i was standing here behind the scenes and realized that i i've been performing on stage in this project for 20 years, how much? it's wonderful, thank you very much.

when this classic of russian humor

performs on stage, three things invariably delight: humor, which is always in abundance in his works, of course, a voice that you can't confuse with another, and a smile that is almost never there, well, really, why does he need it, let our viewers smile, a regular participant in humorina, satirical writer semyon altov. i've been writing and reading what is written on paper for 50 years, i'm still with that legendary program around laughter, so i work the old-fashioned way without swearing, which of course sharply narrows the audience,

but i will read slowly, pause, so that... i'm already used to it, i'm used to the fact that young pretty girls come up to me on the street, ask for an autograph and say: my grandmother adores you, grandmothers have good taste, we've been here in sochi for several years. i, like you , walked, this is the embankment along the sea, there are restaurants, shops, there is such a service, as you know, an aquarium, fish, women put their feet there, and their feet become much younger than the rest of the body, for women this nice, my wife and i were passing by, some man paid money and put his head in an aquarium, he comes up and really, you

know, it works, his face became like a child's, because... there is also such a service, a banana, as you know, you ride on such an amazing rubber thing, it all shakes. we should get pleasure from it and once my wife and i were still young, we approached a group, but we politely let everyone go ahead, sat in the back, then the boat carries this thing and says: if you want to go faster, raise your finger up, and those who sat in front raised their finger up, then the principle of the lever from school worked, you remember, that is, if the first ones were thrown up by 2-3°, my wife and i were thrown up by 50-60, so as not to fall. we grabbed onto this banana, then for 2 more days i walked along the beach with such hands, as if i wanted to hug all the vacationers, so be careful,

the granddaughter comes up to the grandfather and says: grandpa, i have an exam tomorrow, i'm worried, i don't know how i'll pass, the children say: you worry, i'll scold you, there is such a sign, it will help, dressed a former sailor, his swearing is calibrated, brought the saleswoman home, turned on the grinder, mine doesn't work, i have work left for the night,

had to get married, can't live without coffee, my wife and i were torn to the south on vacation for two weeks, as luck would have it in sochi, the rains dragged on, as if by god, having taken a shower, forgot the tap for... from morning to evening we could be on the beach, but we spent money on sunbathing, before going to bed, we wrung each other out like a wet rag, sunbathed a couple of times under the moon, but to everyone's envy we returned with a crimson face, as if we were taken out of an oven, the doctor diagnosed: lycorrhea tropical, unusual, tropical, it was worth the trip, modestly down to the last penny, this is for food, this is for clothing, separately payment for housing, once a year they allowed themselves a holiday, went to

a restaurant and did not deny themselves anything, they remembered this day all year, they began to earn more, they could afford to go to a restaurant every day, but there was no holiday, no matter how much they poured a drink into themselves before work, having drunk with a tear they remember how good it was for them once a year humanitarian aid came from moscow to sakhalin, instead of school the buses we were waiting for were sent two brand new hearses, we had to take the children to school 7 km away, you won't believe what they sent, the schoolchildren stopped being naughty, they don't run during breaks, they walk in pairs silently. their academic performance has improved, the eldest lets the hearse go ahead with the words "have a nice day", no, there are no fools sitting in moscow, a water park, well

, you know what a water park is, water roars inside a vertical pipe, inviting those who wish to go on their final journey, the brave ones jump and from there there are such screams that your hair stands on end. next to me is a pretty girl for the second time getting ready, well, uncle, old age is no joy, like a young man he jumped into a chimney, woke up in a hospital, comes out and there is still gunpowder in the powder flask, in addition to gunpowder, the doctors found five more fractures, know ours, a wolf, a wolf was chasing a hare through the forest, a scythe , what time is it, what time is it. asks you in russian, finally caught up, well what's so terrible when you are asked what time it is, depending on who is asking, last week you killed

a beaver who didn't know where south was and where north was? now no one leaves their hole without a compass, a hare, in short, what time is it, on my without quarters south, northwest-east, and it's dinner time and i ask you to the table. well, the conclusion that went to the people, probably the only thing i remember from what i wrote is three, three stages of age, the first. stage: you walk all night, drink, the devil, what are you doing and in the morning you can't see anything, the second stage: you walk all night, drink, the devil do what, in the morning you can see all this, finally comes the third stage: you sleep all night, don't walk, don't drink, don't do anything at all, and in the morning you look like

you would walk all night. what is he thinking about, you feel people you don't know at all, looking at the world through glass, you can learn to see right through it, why, i work like that, here is james bond,

you know, mister general, general. the president of the russian federation, i have seen you in all sorts of ways, but never like yesterday, you don't want to kiss me, if you start courting my sonya, i will kill you, do you understand me, you are an alien, you are just a person from another planet, you know, we are aliens to each other, and what is there in your window, well, you can see everything. i am a man at the window, a film by dmitry mesiev, on friday on rtr. welcome to the newest rixas hotel in sharm el-sheikh. rixas radomis sharm el-sheikh is an ideal place for a family holiday, where everything is created for the happiness and comfort of children and

parents. escape from. everyday life into a world of endless entertainment. enjoy themed rooms, the largest children's town in the region and an unforgettable holiday. rixsas radomis sharm el-sheikh. mancacher whiskey, a product of stellar group. a hotel for unforgettable impressions rixos sharmaьsheikh for adults only 18+. here you will find entertainment. throughout the day: year-round performances of the best djs from around the world and comfortable rooms. rixsas sharmaьsheikh is not just a holiday, it is a holiday for the soul, where every detail is created to delight. cognac monte shokoka is a product of stellar group. discover a real pearl on the coast of bodrum, titanic lakshery

collection. under the exceptional service, incredible culinary masterpieces and an atmosphere of complete relaxation, immerse yourself in the world exciting adventures of fiery entertainment, welcome to the world of eternal elegance and unrivaled comfort, the secrets of paradise are revealed in the titanic luxury collection bodrum, cognacak old barrel product of stellor group, favorite songs

but there is so much beauty, soul, trepidation, words of love are understandable to everyone without translation, this is a layer of culture, this is the golden fund of the soviet and russian country, hello andrey, andrey malakhov's evening show on saturdays on rtr, bring together all the singers that this artist parodied, then this artist you might get into trouble, what are you saying, on the contrary, after all, on...

razen works as a plastic surgeon, i would like to give you lips, after all, it is not difficult to do today, and to estimate the cost, roughly speaking, their price will be generally insignificant. and to estimate the cost, roughly speaking, i can give you a nose and ears, a-a, roll out the card quickly, a-a, let me pump it up, a-a,

i will accept cash and a card, a-a, au, au, thank you, ilya lagutenko got a job at a microfinance company, friends, do not be shy, everyone, with certificates in your pocket, with your hands in your hands, come to us all those who found themselves in a dead end, we will give a loan calmly, even if you are a thief, now we will sign with you just a contract, the loan is approved for you, you for...

you are about twice as old as me, but i can help fix it, it's me, very soon you will not recognize yourself, here is an example from me, exercise machines are basically crap, they fell in love, so that women... try to just look like me, try to just look like me, well, and grigor viktorovich

got a job as a taxi driver, the old ford smells of beer and pine. the icons smile slightly and do not let no one ask me, i'll tell you anyway how i'm doing on a taxi, purely a hobby to work on a taxi, on a taxi, this is how my friendship asked me. but in general, in general i'm a beer si i'm russian, don't yell, there's no change from five hundred, man, forgive me, put it in the application,

you can three, get out, from a taxi, thank you very much, a song, everyone's favorite song by igor nikolaev is called dolphin rusalka, i slightly paraphrased it called ruben elena. the history of a resort romance. give me some applause. i'll tell you, i fed her shashlik, i carried a churchkella right in number, he forgot what fear means, forgot

his own family, it happens, but here's a surprise, lena's husband, came to her quietly at night, having sewn up a hematoma, the result of this meeting, ruben's word ivan, so ruben understood that he was a god. sochi song is called animator grisha.

you had fun with me in the adlirena by the sea, and now go home, shambam vinosori, get out of my way, beggar parvatar, i'll entertain another now

. i said goodbye to you chambambina sori, but it's time for another to go. ryumkovodki glasses, here's my fish. will tear it into bumps animator grisha all together pobarabapa i a -

smile more often and let everything be wonderful, be healthy, thank you, i bow low to you, thank you for tehluyon. my advice to you, dear friends, minor troubles should not spoil your vacation, you were rude at the hotel or cheated in the cafe, act like a satirical writer, and what do you mean? do not make a problem out of it, make an ordinary wonderful humorous number. this is exactly what the wonderful writer, satirist, alexey sapik does.

thank you very much, thank you. a few words about the caucasus, after all, sochi is an open door, wonderful door to the caucasus, i want to give you an absolutely brilliant caucasian toast. youth has only one drawback. it passes. let's drink to at least old age. imagine a sanatorium, a sexologist's office, a vacationer comes in, good afternoon, good afternoon, excuse me, how old are you, the woman says, 40, and how many men have you had, she says, six, the doctor says, well, in principle, not many, she says, but the week didn't work out. and i decided to write such

a monologue about love, when i first saw how a woman takes out a bra through the sleeve of a blouse, i immediately thought, what can she do with her man's brain, and they do what they want, one woman came home and on the way she thought, probably, her husband will ask where she was, after all, three days,

maybe, i cheated on you, here's a brilliant move, tolya, for god's sake don't be nervous, they are not your competitors, it worked, the man ran around the house for 2 hours yelling: yes, yes, i am the best, yes, yes, i knew it. you know, women, they are fantastic, they know how to convince, here is an extract from the police protocol, a woman is giving evidence, when i entered the bedroom, my husband was lying on the bed, naked, next to him was his godmother, also naked, they looked at me at once, both died of

coronavirus, everyone from the district police officer to the prosecutor... believed her diagnosis, the judge even said: "lord, what a blessing that you did not get sick, their immortal phrases, just think about it, misha, i don't think, i know, kolya, i love you, so i have the right to ruin your life. well, a real masterpiece, oleg valentinovich, it was the worst, the first time in my life, i asked 30 women i knew asked them just one question: girls, why is it that when a man has 20 extra kilos and no money, he's

a pole, when he has 70 extra kilos and a ton of dough, he's a teddy bear. not a single intelligible answer, and some women, don't be offended, are devoid of romance, my neighbor told me, i'm lying on the couch, admiring the starry sky, there are nebulae, galaxies, distant worlds, gorgeous stars, my wife came home from work, took the colander off my face and turned off the light. on the other hand, well, they're driving us crazy, to hell with the brain, instead they bring absolutely amazing things into our lives, a warm wife is snoring nearby happiness, daddy, you are the best in the world, happiness, mother-in-law is nervous,

the third day the cat has been shitting in her slippers, which means 3 months of training the cat have not... passed in vain, happiness, saturday evening, wife is training a small puppy, mommies, give me your paw, give me your paw, give me your paw, the husband watched for a long time, then said: lucy, give up this activity, you are a lousy trainer, and the wife answered, i am a good trainer, it was not easy with you at first either. and it is not easy with us either, the husband came home at one in the morning, brought a huge the bouquet grew, he grabbed his wife in his arms, carried her into the bedroom and worked miracles there for 3 hours, then he got up, said, okay, that's it, enough of good things, time to go home, and left, came back

2 hours later, said, sorry, i was late at work, and his wife racked her brains until the morning, to whom he came for the first time, there are tons of beautiful women in the world, well, you remember whose ribs went for this beauty, but still... on all the beaches of the world our women are the most beautiful, she came, put on a towel, laid out her bed, took off her robe, and the whole world was stunned, because she has nothing on her except moles, folds and tenderness, and we no need for any overseas ribs. and

you'll calm your nerves, god bless you, our fat ones, we love you for your boundless soul, for your gentle hands, for your smiles, for your bottomless eyes. everything else can be easily increased and corrected only by alexey sapik. kolobok, roll out, the fox has come, the premiere is on rtr, leave me alone, let me die in peace, we

need your help, the investigation has started, the need for justice, a basic human need, okay, you've convinced me, we'll sort it out, well done, i never doubted you, my faithful sanchik, buttercup and anyutik, on monday on rtr. tired of boring waffles and ugly toasts? forget about it, because with the new power excel woffle star waffle maker you will discover a new world of belgian waffles. and your children will ask you to cook them again and again. here's the secret. the waffle maker's non-stick plates have a deeper , larger design, which allows you to add a filling to suit any taste. cherry jam for making cherry pie. or fill the middle of the scrambled eggs, ham and cheese, so that he got the summer himself. in just three steps you will get your perfect layered waffle, which

will suit everyone's taste. your children will also be happy to join this exciting process, cooking with power xl is easy and simple, the light indicator will always tell you when the waffles are ready. breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, with the incredible new power xl waffle maker, you will surprise everyone. why torture yourself with old waffle makers that? in which it is impossible to add filling. with the power excel waffle star waffle maker you will always you can make 5 cm high waffles in record time with special ease. apple, cinnamon and caramel waffles, cherry waffles, pizza waffles, cheese toast, french toast or hearty beef waffles? forget about the mountains of dishes left after cooking. breakfast, lunch, dinner or dessert? power xl is just waffle pleasure for the whole family. call and get your unique power xl woffle star for your perfect waffles and more. the recommended price of

the waffle iron is 79.95. but you will get your the original power xl woffle star at a unique price of only 59.95. your savings will be 20 euros, but that's not all. if you place an order right now, you will receive as a gift a brilliant booklet with power xl recipes from the famous chef. chef, but hurry, the offer is strictly limited. introducing comfortable, durable and stylish artex sneakers, in which you will feel comfortable in any situation. these are stylish and durable shoes that will suit both men and women. the sneakers have a soft back and side panels. this design saves your feet from rubbing. thanks to the wide velcro, the sneakers instantly adapt to any foot shape, high instep or protruding bones, and the comfortable back makes it easier on the couch. the sole of the sneakers is made of ultra-light eva material and the shoes on the foot seem completely weightless. having bought artex sneakers, you will immediately appreciate this

incredible lightness in your feet. the sneakers are made of high-quality material that allows air to pass through well, allowing the skin to breathe. two colors to choose from: classic black universal gray and wide size range from thirty-seven to 45. treat yourself to comfortable, beautiful shoes right now. call and order! and today is our birthday, the birthday of our family, 23 years, you don't expect betrayal from your loved ones. i hear that your nikolashka is having an affair with lariska argeeva. what are you like? you don't expect love from strangers. do you even know what i've been through? i behaved like the last egoist. when the pain subsides, the music begins. autumn melody of love. on saturday on rtr. today my other half,

where you are, then we. as if everything froze, was an old violin, my grandmother left it there, i said, no, i won't saw it, any song we sing turns into a folk song, songs from the heart, today on rtr, hosting a humor festival is a great honor and responsibility. after all, you have to introduce artists easily, but wittily, without pathos, but with dignity, it is especially difficult to introduce yourself without pathos, well, fortunately there are two of us, so it is with great pleasure, friends, that i declare the stage inimitable, charming, amazing, charming, insanely talented, beautiful nonna grishaeva and alexander, oleshka, wait, is

that all, why the extra words? everyone already knows how charming, talented and incredible you are, meet, dear friends, nonna grishaeva and me, love came to us unexpectedly, like... a mad motive, like a miracle, like a secret, change everything around, maybe it's true, maybe it's not true, but please, there's no way, there's such a sky around, there are stars and rain in it, oh yeah! with the sun

in the sky it's very, very good snowfalls are very, very good and in the pouring rain and under the hail, if only to be with you, it's very, very good well, and under the long... and when i leave, and you are not with me, i am on a long difficult road, i sing, i sing, this

song for... this cherished song hello, the sun in the sky is very-very good, with midofans, it is very-very good, and under the rain and under the hail, if only to be near you, it is very-very good. ah, if the sun is in the sky, it is very-very good, it is very-very good, and under the rain and under the hail, if only to be near you, it is very-very good, and under the rain and under

the hail, if only to be near you, it is very, very good, nonna greshaeva, alexander aleshka, our beloved wonderful viewer, very good.

hello, on the rossiya vesti tv channel, in the studio irina rossius and the main topics for this hour: iskander destroyed a ship in the odessa port, on which nato equipment arrived, in the kharkov region a bridge over a river was destroyed. a chip blocking the way for reinforcements of the vsso. israel's attack on lebanon took 23 lives, almost 100 were injured. in the north of gaza, tel aviv began a new operation in the next 48 hours.