itit >> my name is peter stein. i'm a lifelong friend of milton marks and his family at least going back a generation and it's really my honor today on behalf of milton's family, friends and his wife abbey and his sons and nathan and will and theo and you will be hearing from this afternoon. it's really my honor to welcome you to this commennation of the life and spirit of our irreplaceable friend miltion marks. today we will hear tributes and memories from those that knew milton in many aspects of his life and work, and i

think together these memories and tributes will begin to form a mosaic of the multi-dimensional man he was. i use that word because i wrote it yesterday afternoon want thinking of the mosaic of words, and the word cloud that abbey and will and you collaborated on to express the many dimensions of milton markses and you can look at those expressions of milton and likely add your own. like i said you will be from a number of folks giving their thoughts and tributes to milton today and please stay for the reception afterwards. sign the guest books which are now outside. some of you may have come in before they were placed and together we will create our word cloud and mosaic of milton. to begin it's my honor to

introduce the mayor of san francisco, the honorable edwin lee. >> thank you peter. good afternoon everyone. welcome to city hall. it's my honor and pleasure to welcome all of you here on this reflection and celebration event, and just wanted to make sure you knew that when we were talking about this with abbey shortly after milton's passing away we thought it was a great opportunity for those that knew milton, knew his personality and engaged himself with him and his family over the many years want i find it appropriate of the

families -- i am thankful abbey you and the kids agreed this is appropriate for milton and for our memories. i want to express not only our heart felt appreciation for milton's work and our sadness of losing him, but there's so many things in his life to celebrate, and i know milton way back when i started working in the city, and he came forth and said "by the way -- introduced himself as the son and carolene and the senior marks and said "we have something in common" and" what's that?" and we both went to bowdoin college and we are

boft west coast guys and had friends and how did we end up at bowdoin college in maine and as we shared the stories with each us and we realized we loved our college in similar ways. he also reminded me of things i liked about it and many of you know milton is a peaceful man. one not to involve himself in very strong out bursts but you knew his passion was always behind everything that he did, and of course those years later when i became the public works director we engaged again as he was working with the friends of the urban forest and reminding me "you don't cut the trees down. we have to take care of our environment. we need a rich canopy of trees in the city" and this what is means to so

many people, and he was one of strong voice bs our environment. he has been known for that and in the years of 2000 he took up the college trustee on the board. many of you know in the past years he was passionate about his work at city college. he knew, and again we had the opportunity to share what we got out of college and what so many generations of youth would want and desire in our city college. he was leading the effort in my opinion to restore and to elevate the level of integrity and transparency at our city college. he demanded that of the other trustees as well as the administration . he went through some hard times as a trustee and shared with members here of the difficult years when things weren't as transparent as

they should have been and integrity wasn't at the top of someone's mindful priorities but this is something he stood for. this is something him and his family stood for. as i know carolyn and her work on the status of woman and miltion and trying to appear at every community event he could be to know you care about everything that happens in the city. well, milton represented that and i want to say he will always be in my heart as someone that we owe a debt of gratitude to for his civic high level of responsibility and integrity. he pushed that as part of his legacy and not only we suffer this loss and it's to remember and all of us that holds positions in the city the

public expects us to the highest level of integrity and responsibility. that is the standard that the marks family has had and all of the generations, and that is something that milton himself held in high regard and he wouldn't expect anything less, and i know abbey as we have talked in celebration of his wonderful devotion to you and the family we always wanted to make sure when we talk about milton marks iii in the city is stands for integrity. it stands for transparency. we must do better and he was always about doing better and i knew him with having a dry sense of humor but passionate with things and got us whether it was the environment or whether it was education, whether it was public integrity of public office

holders. he got us to agree this is something we have to pay attention to and again welcome. thank you very much for being here today and again as we mowrn this incredible loss to the city our city will continue to always celebrate milton's life, to honor his accomplishments, and to know that he tried every way he could and did succeed in making san francisco a better place for everybody. thank you. [applause] >> and now a long time friend and supporter of the marks family. my pleasure to welcome raby from congeeration. >> good morning everyone. good

afternoon. we stand in the month here. it's called the bitter month. there are no holidays in this jewish month other than sabat which is some evening. we stand here in a month that is a pause between the high holidays and the winter season, and it is a time of reflection. it's a time of quiet iewd. we're going to hear many voices today, all that will reflect the beauty and warmth of milton. i would like to return to the silence that we shared together during his funeral, a bitter time, and yet there was a sweetness to its silence just as milton in his illness was silent. there was a sweetness to his silence. just as in health milton had silence, and

there was a kindness, and integrity, and there was a response in that quiet and take a moment to realize how much we much that silence of an ear that truly heard and understood, a man who was committed to principles of justice and kindness and peace as our mayor just described. i could encapsulate owl of the somes in his one name. to be happy that there maybe blessing within this world; that there be leadership and truly royalty within the family and city. the warm silence you

felt in his presence is sorely miss. the warmth and kindness i reflect upon each moment they think of milton is treasured. we need more moments of silence like this. his memory is a blessing and is a part of each of us. when we are present , when we are aware, when we are kind without agenda. these are the words of milton. this means to find contentent in our place and every breath is an opportunity for us to praise this world, to praise our lives. every breath has that chance, and until milton's last breath

we felt he was aware. he was content with his soul. with love and yes with silence. i pray for you and the family. may it not be bitter. may that silence be sweet. we will treasure his memory as a blessing in celebration for us all. thank you. >> and now it's also an honor approximate pleasure to introduce you. >> >> or to welcome milton's sister, caro marks. >> dear milton, on august 9 our younger brother david called to

say he just left you after a visit, a visit which he had hustled to accomplish on route after a vacation when abbey called to say you passed away when after he left and turning back and heading back to apy and the boys and heading back to you and how characteristic it was for you to see david before you died. how very milton the gesture was and i knew you waited not so much for yourself but david would feel such profound remorse the rest of his life had he missed the chance to say goodbye to you and this is the generosity in the years i knew you and the 19 years we lived together. your gifts to me during your life were often made of time,

consideration, and affection and shrewd and intuitive understanding that the most prized gift is the one the recipient feels you would give no one else. this is why the 1965 los angeles metropolitan police department manual you gave me in 1986 remains one of my favorite books of all time, and you remember you know how i devour books and i am the only criminal defense attorney in possession of such a treasure. do you remember when we spent that long evening together at an airport and either coming in or leaving new york city and i had the book and had martinis and we read the book together and you loved one line

"female criminals can be unwidely uncunning" and we had that conversation about why airportings never have clocks and after that i saw you two times and more sorrow and the first is when you family were in the gold country and i met you there before we went back to our house. although it was summer rain pored all day long. the pewter sky was inseparable from the horizon and you my brother and by that time were also becoming inseparable from the horizons of your illness and the line between you it and were blurring. it was during that first visit i understood that you would die and not

eventually but sooner than that you. you were in a wheel care and -- chair and we waited while abbey and the boys got the care. it's the first time we were alone together. as the rain drummed i turned to you and saw that you were crying, crying silently not moving and i reflected then how curious it was before i never seen a person cry in this alarming manner silently and letsing the tears go down your face and like you were unaware they were there and it frightened me and filled me with apprehension and something was slipping away from me, i didn't know what it was. i didn't know it was you that was slipping away. you were the

thing i couldn't hold on to. seeing you cry made me cry and my throat swelled with all the questions i didn't ask because i was too cowardly to get the answers. once the family was back in the car it was business as usual and answer nathan's questions about the cold rush. probably the best gift you gave me, and i say this frankly to no offense intended to nathan or abbey, and almost on par with the police department manual and requested to me act as a cosupportive person at nathan's experience and this gift, the one of nathan's birth was in every aspect vintage milton like so many of your gifts. it was

created. it benefits more than one person. it sincerely flattered the primary recipient and it was free. do you remember when we both lived in new york and we and cousin andy were leaving the subway when a man asked for a dollar for a cup of coffee. you replied "come on i will buy you the cup of coffee and the sandwich" and we were all shocked. he gave you a long appraising look and gave a comical shrug and the two of you went and you instructed us to wait for you at washington square park. another gift from milton and no moraling, just good. you laughed so hard when you guy ordered two peanut butter and jelly sandwichs in

that dinner. the next time i saw you right before you died and the call and choking on tear s and barely able to speak you said "the doctor said i have two to four months left to live". there is no reply to such a statement and i gave none. ards and quite often i replay that conversation again and again and not stopping the looping recital. i was tormented with the knowledge that you knew you were going to leave us soon, and i would have sacrificed my every dollar, my ever pleasure for you to learn your death wasn't imminent. i am sure it was like a living presence and like a conjoined twin and can't get rid it and

there everyday, and the weight of the greatest most profound and terrible knowledge a person can have. the thought of your having to haul this knowledge everywhere you went remains almost unbearable to me. to calm the panic caused by the fact that you knew you were soon to leave us i invented a scenario and i would have given it to you as a gift. i imagined there was a brief time each day or two that you were not tormented by what you knew of your prognosis. every morning i thought as you slowly emerged from sleep and the briefest of minutes you experienced your awakening self to be the once small child you were and little boy's life and no burden and weightless and floating. each morning you woke up into the

innocence that with with all children and at the time you're unknowing ofior fate and i am imagine before you died you began the return to the child you were, a little boy of great purity. i want to believe for those hours you were free of the weight of what was near and sleep took you back in time and guiding through the corridors you occupied and the bliss of a child. i would have given anything at all to make this imaginary scenario true and as you watched your children run and play and laugh and scream. our last visit was your last sunday as you died four days later. when we arrived you were in a hospital bed in your and

abbey's bed and your eyes were closed. as soon as you heard by voice you reacted but you couldn't really move or talk. there were occasional murmurings that you gave that showed you understood what we were saying. all day long you would lift your head up and fix your eyes on me intently and with the unguarded candor and gaze at me for long periods of time. your eyes looked so beautiful. they were always beautiful. hazel and changeable in color and slanted and it was you were looking for and at and through and into me all at the same time. you were so very present when our eyes met, like the world had fallen away and only

two people and four eyes inter locked. what was it that you were seeking from me? were you asking if i knew what was happening and -- drew pictures and watched the olympics and giggled just rough housing away from and offered the children offerings and outfitted you with the items you need in the after life. a bird, a lego with a dead bug in it and a ratty stuffed animal. if i could return the fraction of the gifts you gave me over the years i would have a different end and you wouldn't have to grieve your own death and explained the silent crying. do you remember when we went to jersey together and look at the towns we read

about andace bury heights and had commerce and trade. vacation havens for the victorious they were and we had books and they contained prints and photos of women with carousels in the long dresses and the men all of whom reassembled the marx brothers or another and salt water taffy and ices and in the book showed the children running after the shawl hoops and sticks in their hands and we couldn't understand what this game was about. what were the children doing as they ran around with the hoops and sticks? so for my birthday you agreed to take a trip to me to some of the seaside jersey towns we read about although we were idiots. we went in february

and every town was depressed and viciously cold. there was no life anywhere and asbury park and it was held one one bolt on the fixture and you counted 12 vacant store fronts. town after town had this and -- gleaning broken store fronts with the words circus and cotton candy and we didn't remember whether to laugh or cry and so distant from the imagination was the bleak reality of these towns and ruin the vision of these quaint side vacations and neither of us returned even in the summertime despite many opportunities. when i wrote the biography in

your program today memories were resurrected. the one gift i would have happy to give you and the one i could never give you and the one i wanted to give you the most. of all the letters i have written to you as children this has the one that caused me the most doubt, but i know how much you like to get letters and it's the only gift i can give you now other than attention and love for your family. i hope you knew in your life how many people knew you and revered you and mime your own sister and if i haven't properly conveyed it it's been an honor. keep your wings clean bro. love caro. [applause] >> and now we get to hear from

milton's only brother, david marks. >> caro, that was beautiful. he would have loved it. my brother . milton is my only older brother and will always be. i carried him forever as i had tatooed on my shoulder "brothers forever" and i wanted to have him with me always. he was great, loving most of the time, and an older brother some of the time. little would you know sometimes i could be an annoying little brother. i

like quotes, so i went and looked for a few that reminded me very much of milton "let no one come to you without living better and happier. be the living expression of god's kiedness, kiedness in your eyes, kiedness in your face, kiedness in your smile. mother terreese a to the outside world we all grow old but to not brothers and sisters. we know each other as we always were. we know each other's heart. we share private family jokes. we remember family feuds, secrets and joys and grief. we live outside the touch of time. everybody can be great because everybody can serve. you don't have to have a college degree to serve. you don't have to make the subject and verb agree to serve. you don't need ton the second

theory of thermodynamics and physics to serve. you only need a heartful of grace, a soul generated by love" . martin martin luther king junior. as all of we watched our family work in the community and we were to work with other people. it was a little crazy growing up in a political family. we had seven different phone lines and my mom wouldn't get the one with the seven buttons and we had seven phones and all of us on the phone all the time. no hold button. our house was always full of people. i see many of you here that became family. you were there