been criticized for. >> sure. >> and some of the kids had other factors involved besides bullying and i think we have to be really careful. we need to talk about suicide. it's a public health problem. it's out there. >> but there are people that silence the confidence about suicide -- conservation about suicide and is dangerous as well. >> we have a question. >> i do research in this area. i want to thank you both of you and your film and bringing vast awareness to this. one of my concerns is the national discourse unfolds we want to get tough on bullying and the more severe the consequences are, high stakes consequence and it is anti-bullying laws and et cetera it is more likely children are actually not going

to speak up, and it causes this sweeping under the rug and i just think this needs to be addressed and i wanted to thank you for your comment about connecting the false assumption that bullying is always linked to suicide. that's something that was talked about at the federal summit that we need to separate these two issues out to some extent and one of the things -- well, i will just ask -- i guess my question is -- sorry. so much to share -- >> i thought something that was interesting and i am trying to remember what i wanted to say i wanted to say our approaches are converging in opposite ways and students feel safe to get the bullying addressed but the policies are punitive and high stakes and we know that zero tolerance is not the case and makes things work and gives a

one week vacation. you can leave school for a week, have fun and when you come back you get to do what you did before. thank you. >> thanks. one thing i always thought disciplining kids you is you have to get create and i have have systems in place and one thing i have always done with administrators if you want to make the bully feel like they're being held responsible then take away their appearance of social power. what that means is in every school that i ever been to there is always a place where that -- kids have places they hang out; right? so if you have a kid that is aggressive or bullying someone they have a place they hang out. do not let that person hang out there. you can get into the most ridiculous conversations with the kid "no, you don't get to sit on the senior bench this

year. no you don't. you're 18 and i know you're about to have a petition and a protest and i'm not going to let you sit on the senior position and especially if the child has high social power and they sit where people can see them. it's their place. some are waiting to get on that bench since freshman year, so if they do something inappropriate and don't allow them to participate as a member of the community. that is way worse than a two day suspension and everyone sees. you don't need to blanket it out and no, you don't get to sit on the bench and being creative that way is helpful and another thing i learned from the principal and i was stuck and working with boys and boys are complex and

interesting. really complex. i know it doesn't look like it and they really are, so one of the things that boys are really good -- boy aggressors are great at is when they have -- when they go to the principal's office be disciplined when they walk out they are usually -- good bulls bullyings, are good at making sure everything that happened in the office is a joke, so what do you do with that? how do you discipline that? i was talking to people in illinois about it and military guy and sit foot six and scary and i need help and i don't want to do that as a principal. i'm not in the army anymore and so when they walk out of my office i know that they're doing this and i don't

know what to do besides be really scary. that was amazing the principal came forward amongst the peers and said "i don't know what i am doing and in this situation i need help" and another principal said "when i am in the office who i am disciplining how you connect yourself when you walk out of my office very much deals with you ho i deal with this entire problem". that's a great idea and i am sharing that with you. >> we have three more minutes left and i have one more person. briefly please. >> we have a lot of research in bullying prevention and social emotional learning programs and castle if we are looking at long-term prevention of this issue i would like that more part of the conversation as well and thank you for the work in bringing awareness.

>> [inaudible] >> great. thank you. >> we have one more person that wants to say something before addressing the issue of suicide and mental health issues i believe. again we only have about three minutes. >>i will make it quick. my point is as a child of a mother that killed himself while at school when we toss out these statistics and goodness only 90% are mental health ill. let's extrapolate the number and 10% died directly from peer abuse, something cause and effect, and if we recognize we currently have the highest suicide rate with the military, cause and effect. we don't dishonor their memories by saying they're mentally ill and making all these excuses. as a mother my child wasn't mentally ill but

harassed to the point he broke and that is the part -- i read both your book. they're excellent. lee, as i said earlier after michael died i emailed you and the greatest grief imaginable trying to just -- i never heard of any of this, and you emailed me back, and i am here to tell you that children who are killing themselves -- i know their parents. these kids are not mentally ill. they are breaking under ho rendous set of circumstances and yes we can discuss resiliency and all these other things, but we have to have room in the conversation for our very sensitive kids as well. >> thank you so much. [applause] >> all right. one final thought from each of you and we have to

wrap it up and i want to talk about your project and with the schools. >> i want us to think about -- as the day we have been challenging ourselves what we can do to make a contribution, one of the things to think about is the way in which i'm trying to address the problem of sensitivity and there are some kids of different thresholds and definitions and everyone has the right to their emotional truth and we need kids to learn more social skills and resiliency and all of these things that i am doing and never would have done it and hit me in the last year or two. i was going to do a chapter -- i am and kids on the spectrum of autism andace perers and targeted or initiated into

perpetrating, which i dealt with last week, are perpetrators and aggressors, so i wanted to work on that so i'm working with kids and with aspergers and autism and one thing that struck me is we need to be able on the flip side, so i'm now writing to kids when you are the one that has more of a thick skin, whatever you want to call it, how do you interact with kids who are more sensitive? just how do you do that? how do you recognize the signs when you're around somebody that does calibrate and has a different definition and what bothers them and what doesn't and if we can do that and i'm asking autistic kids

and asperger's kids and normal kids and what are the things that trigger these things and what can we do and i want you to know what i am doing right now and i am working with boys and i finished the porn section and honest i'm doing all of it and why do girls send naked pictures and this week we're creating concrete strategies and scenarios so they can picture what to do when they are up either way against these dynamics and if we work together this way and really name it. sometimes kids with aspergers can do things that are off putting. i sat with a kid in a class that put his leg over class during the -- over the

head during class and 17 years old and it's off putting. we can own it and now what do we do about it? it's not distracting to everybody fine but how do we do it in a way we're honest with everyone in the room and reaching out to each other appropriately. >> you have a project and working on a thing, a whole school based project. >> yeah, well -- anyways thank you guys. this is really a great conversation. just a little bit about where we're going. "bully" the movie is backed by a team, the bully project, and we have been bringing the film and educating, training professional development largely thriewr our partnership with them and

provides that to school districts and classrooms across the country for free, so educators can sign up, and if they agree to do the training and to take it seriously and embed it with the kids and the adults in the community we provide them with oftentimes busing, but often free tickets so they can see the film outside of school and make it an event and that is our project "1 million kids". we're doing it in a big way here in the bay area thanks to the leadership in this community. yep and oakland and all over. it's just awesome and in cleveland and right now we have 13,000 students across the basin in salt lake city are seeing it, and does have impact and the impact is largely i would say it creates a sense of agreement. the biggest thing that bully does or the big

service the film has is gives everyone a unified collective science of agreement to which they roll up the sleeves and get busy creating change and has been really exciting. i building we already i believe kroshed the threshold of 140,000 students nationwide and we are working to get to the million and the idea is a million is a tipping point . a million kids in america. that's like one in ten basically in public schools. that gets embedded so over time every september schools are starting with that method to have that agreement, and along the way we're also trying to deliver youth action and educate ideas and teach the schools and districts about social emotional learning because after they see

the film they want to know what do we d how do we impact that? and that's what i am up to and it's great to be here. >> thanks so much for coming here. we appreciate it. [applause] >> good afternoon everyone. i am rachel smith falls and a senior vice president here of futures without violence i wanted to thank you all for being here and formally welcome to futures without violence. as many of you know of the former name had that for close to 30 years and when we moved to this building we changed our name to futures without violence and for many reasons and it really does reflect the work that we do in the mission. we are here to create futures without violence

and we believe it's possibility when we stand in solidity with people like yourself and i want to thank you for being here. you are one of the first groups to hold a all day conference in this space. we are open to suggestions if you have ideas or using the space for your own organizations. we are up and running in this part of the conference center and in a year and a half we will open the rest of the building and has a public exhibition that deals with the topics you're talking about today and bullying and education and creating the future we want for our families and children and if you for coming today. i think you are taking a short break and reconvening in this room at 2:15 o'clock and please come back in 2014 when we open

to the public. >> before we start the panel i want to do the thank you's and i recognize when we're done everyone will leave and i wanted to exz press this. so this was a concept. i think about two and a half months ago and anne marie and brian and we were in my office talking about what we could do and what we could do to help and it went from that to this because of anne marie conroy so i want to give a big round of applause to anne marie. as everybody in the room knows she's a force of nature and that's all i have to say and to futures without violence and for this beautiful facility. we got support from the school

district and various people and terrific from the mayor's office and of course the mayor and the bully project. we couldn't be more grateful. from the san francisco police department from greg sir to denise flair erty and cheryl jennings and the girl friday and kept us moving all day and to the communications that we got the word out through the media and laura who kept us moving today and financial support. if you read about the justice department in the paper you know we can't pay for anything. when people come to my office quite literally i can't give them coffee. people think the government is high flying and i am here to tell you it's not true. there was support for this event and we

couldn't be more grateful to the people that made this possible and the rosenberg foundation and they are here, the san francisco foundation and dr. sander herself and a round of applause, the california endowment and others provided tremendous financial support so thank you very much for that. [applause] . we really do appreciate it and the cohost and mary lee and tom torque son and who you met this morning and our next panel is planning for student safety opportunity and success and planning for action around the bay. our moderator is jill tucker an education reporter at the san francisco kron cell. i told jill it's hard to find bios online for reporters. they can stay out of google. she's

award winning reporter and covered california schools for 14 years and knows a lot about this subject and was honored by the california teacher association and received the highest award about the growing number of homeless students in the school system. she is a san francisco native and was in the peace corps and tout in west africa and please welcome jill tucker. [applause] >> thank you. she just dated me with that 9090 peace corps thing. okay. i want to say how great it is to be here. i have been looking at everyone's name tags and awed by the wide variety of people and i want you to in rolodex. email me. there

are great stories i have been hearing today. we have amazing and large panel and it is an honor to moderate for them. real quickly you will have to take my word. i have read their full bios which are three pages here. i'm not going to read all of that but you have to my word these are award winning policy makers and leaders in our community. we will start with jeff rosen. [applause] he's the district attorney of santa clara county and the recognized leader in criminal justice reform. he oversees the largest prosecutor's office north of los angeles and prosecute about 40,000 cases each year, so he is on the ground. he sees it all. he is however a green bay packer fan but we will forgive him because they lost. >> you should be very happy.

you won. >> next to him is richard carranza and the superintendent of san francisco unified, just started in the summer of july. prior to that he was the deputy superintendent of innovation and social justice. [applause] next to richard is nancy o'malley, district attorney for alameda county. she was appointed in 2009 and elected in 2010 and has an amazing background dealing dealing with violence against women and domestic violence, elder abuse, child abuse and threat management. she's a wonderful addition to our panel so thank you nancy. [applause] next to nancy is tony smith who i loved his biobest of all and started he's an oakland resident and parent of students in

oakland public schools. he was -- became the superintendent in 2009. he's a local boy including university of california berkeley background where he was captain of the football team and he did not include this in the biobut i know it and he wrote his under graduate thesis on emily dickon son so he's kind of a renaissance dude and he's 6-foot something. next to him is -- [applause] and next to him is george gaston and elect to the district attorney of the city and county of san francisco in 2011 after winning more than 62% of the vote which in san francisco is very enviable and focused on

reducing violent crime, protecting vulnerable victims and respecting with high school truancy and rel haven't to the conversation today. last is cheryl young and the chief executive director of gate path and oversees a large nonprofit in san mateo county and focus on turning disabilities into possibilities and she's a wonderful addition to the panel and it's an area that school districts have to deal with in terms of special needs and what we're talking about affects these children if not more than the other children so thank you cheryl. [applause] so we have a large panel and

they can all tell you i sent them an email yesterday said you will have a brief time to say what you do, what your organization is doing, address the needs of the kids suffering or facing bullying and i told them they have two to three minutes, not 23 minutes and i'm going to hold them to it so jeff let's start with you. >> sure. thank you. i think one thing that a perspective that prosecutors can to this discussion is first of all the reason people become prosecutors generally they don't like it when other people are taken advantage of. it really offends the very core for a prosecutor. you know i often joke i don't even like when people cut in line but i recognize there is not necessarily a remedy to

that, but so bullying is something that almost everybody has had an experience in their life of being bullied, and i think one perspective as prosecutors is if we don't address this today's bullies -- and if we don't address it are tomorrow's batters, and today's victims of bullying becomes tomorrow's victims. that is painting with a very broad brush, but it's something that encourages us to take action. i think in my prosecutors office there is hard and soft power. the hard power in a prosecutor's office, in a police department, it's arresting. it's putting in jail. it's going in court and find this person guilty and punish them. that's a kind of hard power and most of what is

done in a prosecutor's office -- most of the resources are devoted to those hard power tasks, but although we devote less resources to soft power there are probably more important and soft power is where you change the hearts and minds of people. where you try to change cultures, try to change the norms in the community are and certainly in our office we devote significant resources to this. just a couple of examples. we have something called the parent project, and i am very grateful in a time of really reduced funding our board of supervisors stepped up and provided funding for otherwise what was run on a shoe string out of our office, and it's a program that teaches parents to be better parents and parents get referred this program through schools, through police department, through their churches and some of the

behavior that we see in schools are behavior they are learning at home, so we try to address this through this project. we offer it all over santa clara county and in english and spanish and vietnamese and that is one example of what we do. a second initiative we are working to make happen is something called "school link services" where there's all of these different resources floating out there to help children, to help young people, but often it's not centralized in the school and so it involves a lot of cooperation and collaboration between all different county agencies and we're sphere heading that, so those are some of the efforts we have taken in our office, and again from a perspective of the prosecutor and it really offends our sensibility for someone to be taking advantage of to be harmed or abused and we want there to be justice for that

victim and we want that offender to change their ways and we want that the climate and culture in which the bullying takes place begins to change and it's not acceptable so we use a combination of hard power and soft power. >> jeff thank you. [applause] two to three minutes goes really fast and that was a little over, just fyi. superintendent. >> don't start the clock yet. thanks. again i want to thank everyone for being here this morning and this morning i said "welcome to a sunny day in september" and many of you didn't believe me and i want to thank you all for being here and in my comments at the beginning i spoke of the wonderful experience and having 3,000 opportunities yesterday see "bully" the movie. i spoke of

all of the administrators seeing "bully" when they came back from summer break and develop their plans on their campuses here, so i would like to go deeper and talk about a couple of things and before that i appreciate what rosylyn and the previous panel said about the term "bullying" and run the risk of it meaning something generic and meaningless and the word of the day, so let's talk about what it is. it's assault. sometimes it's aggravated assault. it's kidnapping. it's coercion of human rights. it's stalking. these are different pictures when you think about it in those terms. that's what bullying is so in san francisco unified we say we have a zero tolerance for bullying or any kind of activity like bullying

i want to decouple zero tolerance from the notion of having punitive measures because we don't believe in that. we mean that every classroom, every school environment should be a safe environment where everyone is welcomed regardless of who you are, regardless of your ethnic background, sexual orientation or cultural background and we don't couple that with behaviors that kids will display. and the other thing in terms of context that i want to make sure is clear and i didn't am happy you're here and we are fighting a battle against pop culture and the messages they receive on tv, logging on to the facebook page, logging on to all of the social media that is out there, think how many times in pop culture they refer to