we'll see you tomorrow. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, viola davis, from "the martian," michael pena, the boston fish guys, and music from slightly stoopid with cleto and the cletones.

>> jimmy: very nice. how are you? thanks for coming. i appreciate that. i think i have a feeling i know why you're all so excited. today is national coffee day. did you know that? i tell you something, i tried a cup, it's pretty good. it tastes like a mixture of tea and cigarette butts. coffee for those who don't know is an ingredient in the milkshakes they serve at starbucks. in honor of national coffee day millions of americans drank coffee this morning like we always do. according to a survey conducted by staples 37% of american workers can not get dressed for work until they have a cup of coffee. why is staples conducting surveys about when we're getting dressed? i mean, aren't those perverts supposed to be selling office supplies? a bunch of coffee chains participated in free coffee day today.

it was free coffee at dunkin' donuts. although you know every day is free coffee day if you just pretend your name is on the cup of the one who is called. happy coffee day. did you know tomorrow is national mud pack day. for real. grab a handful of mud and back it in, you know? i'm glad you're in a good mood because today was a difficult day for me. this morning intel security released their annual list of most dangerous cyber celebrities. if you search for names online there's a greater chance to get a link to a virus or malware or criminal activity. last year i was the most dangerous person to search for. now i feel disappointed to tell you this year i dropped all of the way to number 26. a bummer. i mean, i'm still dangerous. sometimes on the weekends i go to costco without my membership card.

trying to barge right in. according to intel the new most dangerous celebrity in the world is deejay armand van buren. if you don't know who he is, look -- no, wait, don't look him up. whatever you do, do not look him up. country singer luke bryan is the second. usher is third. and of all people, betty white finished eighth on this list. how the hell i got beat by betty white, i have no idea. i have never heard of deejay armand van buren. the truth is except for the really big ones i've never heard of most of these deejays. i see billboards around l.a. for nightclubs in las vegas with these guys on them. i feel like i'm 100 years old. i'm still into deejay dazzy jeb. that's the deejay i know. we're going to play a game now called deejay or microsoft word font. okay? now, the way this is going to work is i'll give you a name, you guess whether it's one of

a font that comes with microsoft word, okay? first up is euro style. is that a deejay on a font? the answer is font. that's right. that's right. this one is modeon. is that a deejay or a font? you're very good at this. mod erk on modeon is deejay from france. he's 12 years old. hello, little -- hello, little boy. all right. next is cascade. what do we think? i guess i'm the only one who doesn't know any of this stuff. and, yeah, that's deejay kaskade.

and that is, yes, a font. the last one. and final name is rockwell. deejay or font? who says deejay? all right. who says font? by the way, this is the worst crowd activity ever. who says deejay, who says font? well, you're all right. it is a deejay and a font. you wanted font humor, you got it. this is alarming but not a big surprise. number of people getting injured using their phones while they're walking is skyrocketing. thanks to cellphones you're now far, far more likely to get in an accident on foot than you have been in the past. it's a real problem. as a matter of fact, a terrible thing happened just a little while ago. viola davis was on her way into the show. she's entering from our parking lot there. she's on her phone, texting

just like that, hit by a bus. miraculously, she's fine and she will be here. meanwhile, there are a lot of things that -- crazy things that happen in russia but this is pretty crazy. police in the kurov region of russia are reportedly investigating apple because apple products have emojis of same-sex couples on their devices. like these are the emojis on the apple devices. i think they should be less concerned about the fact they're same-sex couples and more concerned about the fact that identical twins seem to be marrying each other. they say these emojis violate a russian law promoting hoax sexe inging homosexual to minors. the russians are very anti-gay. in russia you're not allowed to use two eggplant emojis in the

same sentence. they're hostile to homosexuals p you can see it in the advertising they do to lure tourists. >> attention homosexuals. if you are looking for a terrible vacation destination, russia has nothing you will like. you won't like our flamboyantly colorful architecture, you will hate our furry hats, and you will definitely not be interested in popular russian sports like figure skating and wrestling. and while you're not here, be sure not to look at the dancers in our ballet. for gay people russia truly doesn't have it all. take it from our president. russia, straight as nice. meanwhile back home in america, donald trump came out with this proposal for a new tax plan yesterday. just like a real presidential candidate would do, it's kind of

adorable. trump has interesting ideas. he plans to raise taxes on the very rich which doesn't include him because he's very, very rich. also under president trump you won't have to pay any income taxes if you make less than $25,000 a year, if you and your spouse make under $50,000 a year, and if you capture an illegal mexican you won't pay any taxes at all, no matter how much you make. he's here legal. every politician comes out with his or her own plans and proposals, but i wonder if voters pay attention to the specifics of those plans. it seems to me most people pick a candidate and go along with whatever that candidate says. so today armed with a new trump tax plan we went out on the street and found people who claim to support hillary clinton for president and ask those people about her tax plan. but what they didn't know is the tax plan represented them with is not hillary clinton's, it's

and let's find out how they liked it. >> are you a hillary clinton supporter? >> yes, i am. >> i like hillary clinton, yeah. i support her. >> i'm a hillary clinton supporter. for one, it's definitely time we have a woman in the white house mch. >> i think a female president would be a great idea. >> are you a hillary clinton supporter? >> i sure am. >> what about donald trump? >> next. >> you don't support donald trump at all? >> i do not. >> would you be able to support anything about donald trump? >> in short, no. >> donald trump, nah, not so much. >> i feel cold towards donald trump. >> you wouldn't support donald trump? >> no. >> okay. and would you support hillary clinton's plan to cut the corporate tax rate from 35% to 15%? >> i would be -- i would be -- i think that's a good idea. >> do you support hillary's plan to eliminate the estate tax? >> yes, i do support that. >> do you support her tax to eliminate taxes for those who make less than $25,000 a year?

>> do you support her plan to eliminate the alternative minimum tax? >> alternative minimum tax, yeah, i support that. >> do you support her plan to eliminate the estate tax? >> yes. >> and what would you say if i told you these are all donald trump's proposals? >> i would say he's a pretty smart man. >> i would say i feel stupid. >> i would say that that's shocking, but i mean, if it is, i'm still not vote for donald trump. he's a care chur. >> what if i told you those are all donald trump's policies. >> i wouldn't believe you. >> they are. >> well, i support donald trump then. >> what if i told you those are all donald trump's policies? >> oh, god. i hate him. >> none of us deserve it. i don't know if you know this,

because there's a very fat spider-man in the background. i'd like to talk to him tomorrow, okay? i think you will enjoy this, if you haven't already, this is a video that went viral of two men fishing near graves light station in boston harbor. i've watched it now many times. it's that video of the pizza rat embodies the spirit of new york this video i think captures the essence of boston. >> holy [ bleep ]. look at this [ bleep ] thing. oh, my god. what the [ bleep ] is that? gee, what the [ bleep ] is that? >> look. >> it's a baby [ bleep ] man. we are witnessing a baby [ bleep ] whale right here, dude. stop. here it is, right here, jay. oh, man, look at this [ bleep ] thing. holy [ bleep ]. what is that [ bleep ] thing? >> that's a big flounder. >> if that's a flounder, man, let's pull it in, jay. that's a tuna, bro.

that's a tuna or something. jay, look at it. >> it's a flounder with the fins. >> oh, man. jay, let's pull it in, dude. look at that [ bleep ] thing. oh, my god. jay, that is still good meets on that [ bleep ] fish. holy [ bleep ]. you look at this [ bleep ] thing. what is that thing, dude? oh, my god. look at this thing. oh, my -- look at this [ bleep ] thing. we got to call the aquarium or something, dude. what the [ bleep ] is that? >> i wouldaquarium. we're going to take a break now. when we come back mikey and jay, the guys from that video are standing by. we'll be right back.

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>> jimmy: welcome back to our show. i mentioned before, two fishermen from the boston area have caught not only a giant fish but the attention and admiration of all the world. for those of you just tuning in this is just a bit of their big catch. >> holy [ bleep ]. look at this thing we've got here. oh, man. holy [ bleep ]. this is going on [ bleep ] 25 news tonight. holy [ bleep ]. look at you [ bleep ]. oh, my god, jay, look at him. he's trying to get away. >> what kind of fish is it? >> who the [ bleep ] knows.

>> from massachusetts on our big cisco screen. to mikey bergin and jason foster. >> what's up, kid? >> what's happening? >> oh, man. this is crazy, huh? >> this is pretty crazy. you guys were out on a boat and now here you are on television. >> yes. can you believe this [ bleep ]? >> well, i enjoyed your video immensely. you look exactly as i imagined you would. exactly. how do you guys know each other, first of all? >> we grew up in the same neighborhood. >> we've known each other for 30 years. >> oh, all right. wow. who spotted this fish first? >> this meat head. he thought it was a turtle. >> did you really think it was a turtle? are there turtles out there that you've caught before? >> we never caught a turtle, but we had no idea what it was. it could have been several different things.

>> had you ever seen anything like that before? >> we never seen anything like that. >> absolutely not. >> let's go through some of the creatures you thought it may have been. besides turtle you thought maybe it was a baby whale, you thought maybe it was a floundflounder, a tuna, a sea monster. >> i thought it was a tuna. imagine the money we would have got? >> oh, yeah. you would have gotten a lot of money for that. are there tuna in that area? >> yes. >> there are. so it could have been a tuna. turned out to be a sunfish, yes? >> imagine that [ bleep ]. >> those are not good to eat, the sunfish? >> no, no. >> not for us. >> chinese eat them. that's about it. >> we don't typically eat them here in the united states? >> no. >> no. >> jimmy: you guys released the fish, right? >> oh, yeah. absolutely. >> yeah. >> that fish dove like eight feet.

>> jimmy: it same away happy, okay. how long was the fish on? how long did you have to reel it in? >> we didn't reel it in. we kept pulling around it with the boat. >> jimmy: i see. is it attached to a rope? >> no. >> no. we snagged it with a fishing line out there. but it snapped quick. and the fish stayed on top of the water. and mikey kept saying go back, go back. i didn't want no part of it. i didn't know what it was. >> the fish ran. this kid became a man. >> jimmy: i'm just going to say right now i'm in love with the both of you. >> we love you, dude. >> jimmy: you know what, i would love it if you guys hosted "shark week" or something. wouldn't that be good? i'm going to work on that. >> [ bleep ], see it before. >> jimmy: i know it has nothing to do with the fish, but what do you think about tom brady? what are your thoughts on tom

>> oh, we love tom brady. >> jimmy: you do, yes. what do you think about the -- what do you think about the commissioner of the nfl? >> sucks. >> he sucks. >> you suck, roger goodell. >> jimmy: i also think if they do another dvd of "planet earth" you guys would be great narrators for it. >> oh, man. >> jimmy: we would love to see more of you guys. would you be willing to come out to california? >> whew! >> jimmy: but i don't want -- i don't want you guys going all hollywood on us. we have to keep it real. okay? >> oh, man. we're straight up real. boston, by far. >> jimmy: all right. hey, is that -- are you selling those shirts, the "it's a tuna, bro"? >> we are. >> he looks like a big tuna, don't he? >> jimmy: it's hard to tell. he looks more like a sunfish to

me. thank you, mikey and jay. it was great talking to you guys. i hope to see you again very soon. >> thanks, jimmy. >> thank you, jimmy! >> jimmy: mikey and jay. we've got a good show tonight. slightly stoopid, from the "martian" michael pena and viola davis. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by jet.com. for $15 off your first order of $35 or more, go to jet.com today. she can rage, and roar, and crack, and storm. but mother nature can't stop us. the new 2016 ford explorer.

[ applause ] >> jimmy: tonight, from the new movie "the martian" which opens friday, michael pena is here. then, from down south in san diego, their latest album is called "meanwhile, back at the lab," slightly stoopid from the samsung outdoor stage. >> tomorrow night we will be joined by an american treasure named don rickles, dr. ken jeong will join us, and we'll have music from kelsea ballerini. and thursday night, ll cool j, kate mara, and music from andra day. so please join us. two sundays ago our first guest added yet another trophy to an already burdened mantel to win the emmy for outstanding lead actress on a drama series. her show "how to get away with murder" airs thursdays at 10:00 on abc.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> very good to see you. >> jimmy: by the way, you recover quite rapidly from bus accidents, i have to say. >> yeah. yep. i have good dna. >> jimmy: it even scared me when i saw it. >> yes. it scared my hairstylist. she screamed. with food in her mouth. >> jimmy: even though you were sitting there right next to her. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how are you doing? the last time i saw you you were on stage accepting the emmy award. [ applause ] great accomplishment, really not just because you won an emmy in a very tough category, but on top of it you won it on network television which nowadays is a very difficult thing to do. >> it is because there's so much you can't do on network. even with the sex you can't show

which i'm grateful for, by the way. i said the only thing you can show on me is my feet. so there's so much you can't do. >> jimmy: you're stopping every like 11 minutes for a charmin commercial, also. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it changes things. >> you need those sponsors. >> jimmy: were you working today? were you getting away with murder today? >> i was getting away with murder today. at 3:15, my life, it's just crazy. i was working, yeah, the morning after the emmys. >> jimmy: you were? the very morning after. >> didn't know any lines. >> jimmy: really? >> i mean, i was like, okay, i'm going to suck. but then i don't know my lines. >> jimmy: how do you handle that? how do you handle that when you don't know your lines? >> i go, you know, this is not working for me. you know? >> jimmy: you throw it back to the writers while you buy a little time? >> yeah. i learned that at juilliard. >> jimmy: that's funny. has there ever been a situation

when you didn't know your lines before? >> there was a situation where i have not known my lines, and there's been a -- the most prominent situation is when i was doing "doubt" and meryl streep kept screwing up one line. she just completely forgot it. i was thinking -- >> jimmy: she's the worst, yeah. >> yeah. how do you tell meryl streep that she's forgotten her line. you do it telepathically. >> jimmy: but these so nice -- >> we just screwed up the scene again and again and again. the director is, why is it not working? i said, because she forgot her lines. >> jimmy: do you find that as you become more and more successful and you have more accomplishments under your belt other actors are nervous about doing scenes with you? >> yes. >> jimmy: you do? >> i do find that to be the case. and i always tell them, please do not be nervous because if someone is going to screw up it's going to be me. >> jimmy: and that generally relaxes them? >> it generally -- no.

>> jimmy: no, it doesn't. >> it doesn't. it doesn't. until i screw up. >> jimmy: can you tell if they're nervous about being there with you or just nervous in general about acting in front of people? >> no, you can't tell -- let me tell you something. people always ask me, so how did the scene go, viola? how was so-and-so in the scene? i'm not looking at so-and-so. i'm worried about me. it's about me. it's always about me. >> jimmy: you made a great speech at the emmys. is that something you enjoy? i imagine you prepared that beforehand. >> i did prepare that. now, there were two quotes i could go with. i said if i go with the harriet tubman they may think it's militant. or i could go with the other quote but they may be confused.

not really militant, you know. but i just thought that that moment was bigger than me, you know. it was bigger than just an actress winning, you know, in that category. first time an african-american woman had won in that category. [ applause ] >> jimmy: it's a big deal. and it's you. >> yeah. i lost a recreation contest when i was 6 and that literally dictates my life. >> jimmy: what is that? >> every year at central falls in jinx park, literally i was going to sing "abracadabra" from the difranco family. >> jimmy: and? >> and i pee'd in my pants with my finger in my mouth. can you imagine? with not dripping down my nose. there you go. i was 6 years old. it didn't work. you know? >> jimmy: wow. that stuck with you? do you remember who won that competition?

>> michelle bradshaw. and sche ohhe -- and she's blonde. >> jimmy: you really stomped her at the emmys. i hope she was watching when you pulled out the harriet tubman. this is viola davis "how to get away with murder" is the show. we'll be right back. t much has changed. except... it responds to the pressure of your finger. so you can peek into stuff. and pop stuff open. which changes how you play a song. read a text. read an email. read the news. wait, you read the news? kid: yep of course you do. now you can change apps like this. pay at more places like this. and the new color looks like this... it's rose gold, it's awesome. and siri is more helpful than ever. bill hader: hey siri, show me photos of tortellini. siri: here are some images of tortellini... maybe get take out? the camera shoots 4k video now, which changes how your movies look. nice... even selfies have changed. now your screen is the flash.

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we wanted to restore our lighting system in the city. you can have the greatest dreams in the world, but unless you can finance those dreams, it doesn't happen. at the time that the bankruptcy filing was done, the public lighting authority had a hard time of finding a bank. citi did not run away from the table like some other bankers did. citi had the strength to help us go to the credit markets and raise the money. it's a brighter day in detroit. people can see better when they're out doing their tasks, young people are moving back in town, the kids are feeling safer while they walk to school. and folks are making investments and the community is moving forward. 40% of the lights were out, but they're not out for long.they're coming back. kill your husband? >> i will not stand for this, your honor.

your court but not these antagonizing questions. the point of this hearing is to get evidence, not against me. if that is the case, please charge me with my husband's murder. i'm guessing that has not happened due to lack of evidence. your strategy has been to attack me with accusations making it clear that this is not a preliminary hearing but a witch hunt. i did not put my hand on this court's bible to be burned at the stake and especially by an amateur, foolish prosecutor that doesn't deserve mine or anybody else's in this court's respect. >> jimmy: viola davis, "how to get away with murder." that you mad memorized, right? you dointidn't have a cue card or anything. >> no, but my lips kept getting in the way. >> jimmy: one episode in the season and there are many, many things going on. you guys started with a bang. >> yes. >> jimmy: yes, yes.

you have a new love interest. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's a woman. >> yep. >> jimmy: yep. how do you like that? >> um, listen, like i said, i'm not comfortable with any sex scene. but i just don't want my mom seeing it. so what i'm doing is every thursday night i give her money to go to the casino. >> jimmy: oh, really? she goes? >> she goes to the casino every single night. but this thursday especially she will be going to the casino. my mom literally -- that's her job, to go to the casino. that's work. >> jimmy: she's a professional gambler. >> she's a professional gambler. in fact, i called her about a year ago and she said, viola, someone stole my wheelchair. i said, how could they steal your wheelchair? she said i was at the casino playing the slot machine.

i turned around and the wheelchair was gone. i'm like, are you freaking kidding me? this thursday she's going to be at the casino. >> jimmy: is it possible -- i don't want to cause any trouble here. is it possible that your mother sold her wheelchair to get money to gamble with? >> you know what, it's possible. >> jimmy: how do you get her to actually go on thursday, like why wouldn't she just kind of save the money and go on friday and stay home and watch you? >> because you have to western union it by 3:00 p.m. l.a. time. >> jimmy: wow. >> and she will get the money and it will be there. trust me. she will get the money, get that money control number. money transfer control money at western union by 4:00 she's there. >> jimmy: send the money directly to the casino? >> you know what's funny. >> jimmy: what? >> i've done that. >> jimmy: you have done that, yeah. it's a good way to make sure she goes.

>> oh, my god, there's no dvr. she wouldn't know how to operate a dvr. >> jimmy: you do have all the bases covered? >> yes. >> jimmy: did she watch the emmys? >> she watched the emmys. she said she fell on the ground. she was crying and all of that. >> jimmy: yeah. she doesn't have a wheelchair anymore. viola davis, everybody. "how to get away with murder" airs thursdays at 10:00 pm on abc. we'll be back with michael pena. i struggle with bipolar depression, and it's hard. i miss out on life's little moments. so i talked to my doctor and he prescribed latuda. there are many forms of depression. latuda is fda approved to treat bipolar depression, which is different from other types of depression. in clinical studies, once-a-day latuda was proven effective

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>> jimmy: you know our next guest from "ant man," "crash," "american hustle," and "million dollar baby." now, he's an astronaut who wisely abandoned matt damon in space in his new movie "the martian." >> ten degrees. >> hey, we might be able to keep the mav from tipping. >> commander. >> warning.

>> we are at 10.5 degrees, tilted to even will. >> copy that. if it tilts, you launch. >> do you really think i'm going to leave you behind? >> it's an order, martinez. >> jimmy: "the martian" opens friday. please welcome michael pena. [ cheers and applause ] how are you? >> i'm doing well. >> jimmy: i really enjoyed the movie. you got stuck on the ship while everybody was out running around on mars. is that a bummer as an actor? >> they're just trying to save matt damon. you know how it is the it seems like a lot of movies people want to save matt damon. >> jimmy: not in my house, they don't. i tell you that. the nice thing was once you left him on mars you didn't have to with him face to face anymore. >> the other crew members are like, i think we should save him. are you sure?

find out you get to play an astronaut, is that as exciting as it gets? >> no, immediately i looked up how many mexican astronauts are abandoned. >> jimmy: how many? are you the first one? >> maybe just like, you know, maybe just in movies. whatever. i'll take the credit. >> jimmy: i think there have been mexican astronauts. let's go to our expert on this. guillermo guillermo? >> did you say juan? juan? >> jimmy: it seems like you should know that. you might want to do some research on that one for the next interview. >> i'm the only one. >> jimmy: now you're shooting the movie "chips" with my friend. >> "chips." >> jimmy: so dax shepherd is going to play -- >> i play ponch. >> jimmy: do you ride a motorcycle? >> i do now. >> jimmy: you do now, okay.

>> jimmy: dax rides a motorcycle regularly. >> he can ride. and i -- you know, i got into motorcycles. i had to do motorcycle training. i'm not as bad ass as i thought i was. because when you get on you're like, oh, man, i got this. literally like, i had somebody like video me. it's the slowest riding that you possibly have. i got a kid so i'm like, man, i could die on this, man. i'm like, no, i'm glatd thatd that tmz -- >> jimmy: that's not very ponch. it isn't. >> literally, it's the slowest circles. eh? i sawent the video to dax, i'm not impressed. you need more training. >> jimmy: "chips," they would just have a shot of them and then like the background was a movie screen behind them and they were pretending to ride their motorcycles. >> i know. it's like that bad driving like in old movies, they're on motorcycles. yeah.

nobody rides a motorcycle like this. not even in slolem. i'm looking at the wide shot, are there any cones. what's up? >> jimmy: i'm interested to see what your approach to this movie is. will it be comedy, will it be a mixture? >> if it's dax shepherd, there's going to be a little comedy. that's for sure. i got to workout for that. >> jimmy: are you working out for this? >> i'm on a constant diet right now. i'm eating less than 2,000 calories. i was slightly overweight. i don't know if you know that. >> jimmy: you are -- >> i'm sucking it in even more. >> jimmy: -- the same role -- you look good. you're playing the same role that eric estrada had. he had a 22-inch waist at the time. >> nonexistent. it was like a doughnut. that's how big it was. >> jimmy: like no cop you ever see in real life. >> my brother is a cop, too. so i understand. >> jimmy: speaking of doughnuts,

what are you eating now? are you on a special diet and all that stuff? >> doughnuts. >> jimmy: doughnuts, yeah. >> i'm just kidding. i'm eating like just grass and rocks. just mad all the time. like a dog. i'm like a dog. >> jimmy: how long has this been going on? >> it's been going on for like 2 1/2 months. i dropped 20 pounds. i had some good cushion. never cold. >> jimmy: you have -- you have a trainer that you're working out with? >> yeah, this guy amaban. he's from jersey. he trains channing tatum, too. if i ever try to puss out or whatever, trust me, that happens, i'm up in age. >> jimmy: by the way, last night now that you say that, dr. phil is here and he's also working with that trainer. >> dabam, yeah. >> jimmy: when your trainer tells you i work with channing

so let's not go crazy. right? >> but it sounds like motivation though. if i'm trying to puss out or whatever, man, i think i'm good, dude. i just threw up a couple of times. ic we shouldi think we should call it. channing wouldn't call it. it might be pretty good. i'm like -- it's just an elip tickle. not even hard running. like another five minutes. okay, man. if you really think so. this will get me the oscar. >> jimmy: really, it's the same way you're going to be driving that motorcycle. >> exactly. >> jimmy: wow, this sounds like fun. it is fun, right? the whole thing is fun. >> i get paid to wear makeup, man. what's up? so do you. >> jimmy: come on, man. that's not cool. sometimes when i am wearing -- getting makeup put on, one of my kids will wander into the room.

i always think, boy, if i walked in on my dad putting makeup on, i don't know what the hell i would do. >> exactly. it's like, does dad have secrets? >> jimmy: daddy does have some secrets. hey, last time you were here you mentioned your brother. how many brothers do you have? >> i have one but he probably takes the room of two. >> jimmy: he takes the room of two. you mentioned your brother -- >> no, because of his personality. >> jimmy: he's a character. >> and his charisma. >> jimmy: what does he weigh? >> he weighs less than me. >> jimmy: he does. how is he doing because he seems >> he's doing great. oh, man, i still, no matter what, i'm doing "chips," oh, man, that's cool, mike. you're pretending to be a cop. and he is a cop. just don't forget, you know, i do it for real life. he's always going to be my big

i can't win with that guy. >> jimmy: you never get around that. it's very good to see you. the movie, matt damon aside, the movie is really great. it's called klt the"the martian." it opens friday. it's michael pena, everybody. we'll be right back with slightly stoopid. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. ava and i needed a little vacay. but we needed to watch our spending. meaning i needed to watch nikki. she's the spender. i'm the saver. so, mobile banking from td bank helps me keep track...

for both of us. she was just browsing... we gotta go. i'm ava. i'm nikki. and we bank human at td bank. what? we are the largest and most diverse school district in america! yet we are one! one point one million students! one thousand eight hundred schools! sharing one common goal. help all kids succeed. we're new york city public school teachers. taking learning to the next level.

and parents and the community are on board! all coming together... ...as one. to celebrate the passion and promise of our public schools. i'm michael mulgrew, president of the united federation of teachers. cmon! join us! >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i want to thank viola davis, michael pena, and apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first, their album is called "meanwhile, back at the lab," here with the song "the

i never thought too much on wealth to let me keep it for myself but while the world's been turning upside-down it's hard to talk about another bottle off the shelf with the hand that you've been dealt what's going wrong been going on it's time for you to scream and shout and i ain't no prophet to cure some damn disease and would you help me anyway if i was on my knees i'm going through

in my time of node snooets and every little thing is gonna be all the same i never thought too much on wealth to let me keep it for myself but while the world's been turning upside-down it's hard to talk about another bottle off the shelf with the hand that you've been dealt what's going wrong's been going on it's time for you to scream and shout >> get your hands up in the hair. i went to the corner store to get myself a bottle of beer i was rollin with a friend of mine when the liquor was a little more clear i always knew that i wanted from the start was a reason just to get out late

the summertime music and my seed mary jane i never thought too much on wealth to let me keep it for myself but while the world's been turning upside-down it's hard to talk about a bottle on the shelf with the hand that you've been dealt what's going around has been going on it's time for you to scream and shout what's going on and going wrong it's time to scream and shout you know it's time for you to

scream and shout