tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC November 4, 2015 11:35pm-12:37am EST
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you can chime in on the conversation. >> don't worry about it. that's what we learned tonight. >> oh, right. >> no , worry about it. it's okay. >> did we learn anything? >> just tweet us. that's the news for now. i'm sade baderinwa. >> and i'm bill ritter. jimmy kimmel is next. and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood and nashville -- it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- seth rogen. eric stonestreet. jake owen. the world series champion kansas city royals. "mean tweets - country music edition."
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via hologram. with cleto and the cletones. and now, right now, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. welcome. i'm jimmy kimmel. thanks for coming. very nice of you. i appreciate it. i'll tell you something. you're here on an unusual night, a night on which miracles of physics will be revealed. tonight we are simultaneously doing our show from two places. i will be beamed from this theater here in hollywood to the cma theater in nashville, tennessee, as a hologram.
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haunted mansion at disneyland. i will appear -- we did this last year and it's incredible that it works. let's do it, let's go live to nashville where we've got a lot of people standing by. [ cheers and applause ] hello, nashville! say hi to hollywood! thank you, thank you. are you ready for the magic of holography? [ cheers and applause ] let's do it. beam me up, andy. i think i have to spin around for this really work. [ cheers and applause ] hi, i'm your spirit animal. isn't it weird? i'm there with you, you can see me on the stage, you can interact with me, i'm three-dimensional. but i'm not real. like most of the people you meet in l.a., i am completely -- [ laughter ] wish i could do this for everything, i would never leave
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say, this is an historic moment because tupac, old dirty bastard, ez e all performed as hollow programs. only michael jackson and i have performed as white hol grabs. congratulations to us. [ cheers and applause ] part of the way we're doing this is we're using a green screen here in our studio. and you can't see it right now but it's happening. i want to try this stuff. first something i've been practicing which is juggling. i've gotten really, really good at juggling. in slow motion. so here we go. ready? go up! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] miraculous, isn't it? thank you, thank you, thank you. thank you very much, thank you.
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[ cheers and applause ] wow, look at that i have powers! i'm going to push them away. all right, there we go. yes, you too, get out of the frame, there we go. also, since i have -- since we are on the night of the cmas in nashville i feel i should have a cowboy hat. o cowboy hat, where are you? yes, there's my little cowboy hat. oh, it's miraculous how that works. maybe it will land in my head, who knows. oh, thank you, cowboy hat. it's a little bit too small. [ cheers and applause ] that's right, i have another surprise. i have another surprise for you. and that's this. [ cheers and applause ] look at that! his name is guillermo. say hello to nashville,
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>> guillermo: hi, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'd like to take a selfie with someone there. let's get somebody up on the stage, somebody from the crowd. let me just hang on to you here. let me take your hat off. all right. do we have somebody? let's get somebody out there. hi. hi, how are you? >> i'm doing good, how are you? >> jimmy: i'm doing well, thank you. hold guillermo's head. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hang on to that. actually throw it back to me here. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow, this is fun. it's floating in the middle of us no are now. do you have a camera with you, do you have your phone? >> yeah, i do. >> jimmy: let's see if this works. i honestly have no idea if this
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you get in next to guillermo's head. slide in there. take another step, another step. get a little bit closer. or i can get a little bit -- all right there we go. okay, all right, very good. all right. >> do you want me to take a selfie? >> jimmy: take a selfie of us and i want to see if we're in there or if we disappear like vampires. >> you're not in it. >> jimmy: oh, to hell with it. oh-oh. >> do you want me to try again? >> jimmy: you can try again, i don't think it's going to work the second time. did it work? >> maybe. >> jimmy: i'm looking the wrong way. i'll try it again. this is why i dropped out of weatherman school. >> okay. one, two, three. >> jimmy: and? >> again? >> jimmy: did it work? >> it worked. >> jimmy: it did work, okay, good.
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>> jimmy: post that hologram to instagram and we'll double gram it. very good. thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] all right, this is a big night. seth rogen is here. [ cheers and applause ] i don't know what's going on backstage, but it's -- seth is high right now, he must be losing his mind over the guillermo stuff. seth is here on cma night because nothing says country music like a hairy jewish canadian stoner. i don't know what the weather is like in nashville. we've had some rain here which is good because we're in the middle of a drought in l.a. as you'll see from this local news report, when the rain comes it can be terrifying. >> drivers are back to using their windshield wipers in traffic, you can see this rose bush is all wet. also along the streets here. a lot of the puddles now line the streets, the sidewalks are slick.
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a flash puddle warning. i have been dreading the show tonight since sunday night. i made a world series bet with eric stonestreet from "modern family." he's a kansas city royals fan, i am a new york mets fan. and here's what happened. >> give it a spin. i'm not sure why we're doing this. there's no good reason for it. one. i'm going to choose paint ball in a bounce house. >> jimmy: so that is me getting shot by paint balls in a bounce house. and tonight, as if being a mets fan isn't painful enough, america's favorite gay uncle clown is going to shoot me with a paint ball gun in a bounce house. apparently he brought the kansas city royals with him. so i don't know, maybe they can
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i saw the guns in action in rehearsal and this is going to hurt a lot. good times. yesterday was election day here in the united states. i know there wasn't much to vote on in nashville. we didn't have much to vote on in l.a. either. but in ohio they voted no on legalized marijuana for recreational and medical use by 65% of the voters said no. how could ohio vote against marijuana? they have "high" right in the middle of their name. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] it is one of the great ironies of life the only way to make marijuana legal is for stoners to leave the house to vote. that obviously didn't happen. this is good, donald trump says, well, a lot of interesting things. but even more than his words are his tones. he makes a lot of odd noises during his public speaking appearances, i guess to get his point across. we've been compiling these and here they are, the many noises
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>> la la la! bup! ka-ching ka-ching ka-ching! bing, bing, bing! wah! bing, clink hello! bye! ah! uh! wuh! boo, boo, boo! bing, bing, bing! boom, boom, boom! bing, bing! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sometimes you have to improvise. as many of you watching at home witnessed earlier tonight on abc, the 49th annual cma awards, they call it country music's biggest night which as lot of pressure, the show hosted again by carrie underwad and brad paisley, all the big stars were there, justin timberlake and steve martin were there, it was quite a night. for fans of country music we have a special holiday treat for you. jake owen, a popular singer, has been working on an exciting new project.
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many, many jewish singers, new sisters, songwriters have released christmas albums. barbra streisand, neil diamond, barry manilow, kenny g., they've done it. never before has a nonjewish entertainer released an album of until tonight. >> hey, i'm jake owen. some of you might like to call me jake cohen. what i love more than country music is the wonderful festive holiday of hanukkah. so come celebrate with me and my family. shalom, y'all! >> let's jake owen ignite your festival of light with songs like "let's do jewish stuff." let's all do jewish stuff stuff that jewish people do whatever it is that you guys do let's do it come on >> lighting the pointy candle thingy. light it up scream and shout make a wish and then blow it out
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>> and that's how you spell hanukkah. give me a c, h, a, n, u, about four more ks >> plus many more. "flat tater tots." "mat zo ball rock." "who does santa's taxes?" and the instant classic "nobody's coming to town because nobody's coming to town [ cheers and applause ] >> "billboard" magazine called it the most misinformed, poorly researched holiday album of all-time. a jake cohen hanukkah. don't delay, order today. if you're a guy and you're circumcised give me a >> available at walgreens. >> jimmy: mazel tov, jake. we have to take a break. when we come back we have something great. a special country music edition of "mean tweets."
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back! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by crown royal - the one made for a king. please drink responsibly. [ barks ] come on. wait. welcome to the annual lighting of the tree. let the holidays begin! [ crowd gasps ] oh that is not good! a bulb has gone out. who will go on the perilous journey to replace it? we will! crowd: huh? we will? yeah! shell ya' later be careful out there. good luck! well, right now you can get 15 gigs for the price of 10. that's 5 extra gigs for the same price. so five more gigs for the same price? yea, allow me to demonstrate. you like that pretzel?
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country all the way to nashville. are you ready? [ cheers and applause ] wow, it worked! that was awesome. yeah, let's do it one more time. can we? all right. ready? [ cheers and applause ] one, two, three -- one more time. we're going to kill somebody in here. [ cheers and applause ] all right, very good. here you go. i feel like a ghost and a ghostbuster at the same time. all right. bring out the fire hose, we're going to soak everyone down! [ cheers and applause ] cma awards were held. country music has some of the
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opinionated fans of any genre of muse chick means people sometimes take to social media to express their passion and opinions. from time to time on our show we shine a light on some of the not so nice things people write. we're doing it again tonight in the special country music edition of "mean tweets." [ cheers and applause ] >> have you ever gotten so drunk that you sang a luke bryan song? actually wasn't that bad. me neither. >> one time someone took a [ bleep ], rubbed it all over a blank disk, put it into a cd brad paisley album. >> some of my best friends are black but darius rucker sucks ass. >> your new song is more embarrassing than your penis. >> if he gets arrested it's because he'll be doing something
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fair, fair, fair statement. >> why does she look like the house band at chili's? >> marijuana works wonders, just look at willie nelson. bastard is still alive and won't die. you got it, brother. >> i'm legitimately pissed off at the fact that thomas rhett is ugly. like what are you doing, man? your voice and looks don't match. sorry? >> rascal flatts, please do us all a favor and stop making music. you are so awful. #sobad. #spareus. #soundofdeath. >> listen to the sound of my grandpa eating a neck that reason, then less season to a florida georgia line song. >> jake owen is a [ bleep ] bitch. >> went to a randy houser show and was blown away by his huge
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gorilla. >> i just thought of scotty mac careerry. >> he's the male version of taylor swift, except his songs suck. >> they're definitely butt buddies. >> he's so tiny he sleeps in a hot dog bun. how'd you know? >> chris young, i hope you die in a [ bleep ] plane wreck you [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. >> didn't really like da carrie underwood concert, seemed dull, it had no excitement, soccer team. i have no idea what he said. >> little big town. i would buy a ticket to one of your concerts just so i could punch each of you in the face. >> wow! you are mean! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the show, music from the band perry.
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paintballs- and we'll be right back with seth rogen. so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of jimmy kimmel live are brought to you by the next generation of pcs - slimmer, smarter, and faster. learn more at pcdoeswhat.com. pc does what!? pc does up to 30x better 3d graphics. pc does what no pc has done before.
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broadcasting back and forth from hollywood to nashville tonight. let's say hello to the folks in nashville. hello folks in nashville! [ cheers and applause ] by the way, we got the selfie that the young lady took of me with guillermo's head and her. and this is how it came out. yeah. there it is. that's like if you take a picture of the devil, that's how it cops out. tonight on the show, this is their single - called "live forever" - the band perry live in nashville from the crown royal stage - and via hologram here in hollywood from the other the crown royal stage. thanks to hologram usa for doing this for us again this year. it's unbelievable technology. i love being in nashville and l.a. at the same time. this is how starbucks must feel. they're everywhere at once. also tonight - i pay up on the world series bet i lost - eric stonestreet and the kansas city royals are here to shoot me with paintballs in a bounce house.
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we have a big bounce house we're going to blow up in here. the stunt guy who tested it today said it was terrible and made them stop immediately. [ laughter ] he lasted three seconds. and i have to be in this for like 30. so that will be good. tomorrow - hillary clinton will be here, as will the comedy duo of bob odenkirk and david cross. so join us then. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest tonight is the pride of north korea. his new movie is not your typical holiday fare - it's a very funny christmas story called "the night before." it opens in theaters november 20th. please welcome seth rogen! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how you doing? >> great. how are you? >> jimmy: i'm doing -- you know,
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i'm genuinely unthused. >> it's going to take so bad. have you ever been shot with a paint ball? >> jimmy: i feel like i maybe kind of have. but at a long distance. this is a very -- >> oh, yeah. like really, really hurts. bad. >> jimmy: how often have you been shot? >> i haven't gone since high school because it hurts so bad. eventually i'm like, why am i paying to did do this? it hurts. we used to go to a place and the guys who run it would play against us. and just destroy us. and we realized we were paying to be human target practice, essentially, and hunted for sport by these paint ball lunatics. and we stopped doing it. but it sucks so bad. >> jimmy: great. >> yeah. it leaves giant ebola-like welts all over your body. bloody, degrees. >> jimmy: the stunt guy has big, red spots all over him. >> you get body herpes from it. that's not good.
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i saw your movie. it's very, very, very funny. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i would not say it's family fare. >> no. >> jimmy: no. >> yeah. it's -- it's kind of like an r-rated modern take on a christmas fable i guess you would say. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's about three guys who have a tradition of going out, this is their last year doing it, because they're getting old and it's getting sad. and so they kind of decide to try to blow it out. and -- yeah. >> jimmy: there's drugs, nudity, adult situations. >> yes, there is, all that stuff. >> jimmy: do you believe -- will jesus be upset with you for this? >> yes. jesus won't care for this, yeah. jesus is not our key demographic when it comes to -- [ laughter ] i know, it's too bad. i don't know, jesus would love it! jesus looks like he's got a great sense of humor, jesus would love it, yeah. >> jimmy: we have a clip. i think it needs to be explained. >> yeah, so basically my character is about to have a
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baby. and his wife, to let him like blow it out before he has a kid, gives him a box full of every drug on earth. i've done all the drugs and now i'm lost. i'm trying to find my telephone using another phone because i don't know where the hell i am. and this is me like trying to get directions, basically. >> oh, i've been having a pretty crazy night, i'm going to level with you, i'm pretty messed up. >> you don't say? >> what's your name is? >> spencer. >> cool. hi. i'm isaac. nice to meet you. >> hey. >> you have dogs, can i pet them? >> yeah, go ahead, they're fun. >> thank you. >> you're very welcome. >> hi, guys. >> what's up? come on in, give us a pat. >> oh my god, they talk! >> of course, all dogs can talk. oh, wow! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is "the night before." seth, i mean really, this role of a guy who goes on this crazy drug-fueled adventure is
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researching for many, many years. >> yeah. since i was around 14 or 15, i guess, i've been researching this role, yeah. >> jimmy: a very long ride-along. >> yeah, i've had some experiences like that. throughout my life. >> jimmy: give us one of them. do you remember all of them? >> i remember some of them. when i was 18, i went to amsterdam. with a friend. which is a good start for a drug story, i guess. and decide wed were going to do a bunch of mushrooms. because that sounded fun. and -- but the thing in amsterdam amsterdam, mushrooms are -- i don't know if you've bought mushrooms. but they come dried out, normally, and so they're like dehydrated. you know? so you eat like three grams of them or something. then you're super messed up for five hours. but in amsterdam they were wet. like fresh mushrooms like you'd put in a salad. the weight was all off. so we bought 60 grams of them. and we were like, just split
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we kept saying that. it's water weight. and so i remember we ate them. then we had a plan which you need, which is to -- go to the grocery store and buy picnic supplies and then go to the park and have a picnic. and so we go to the grocery store. and like as we're shopping they kick in as hard as you could humanly fathom. we were just like buying like toothpaste and bread and it makes no sense, cheese and sunscreen. just get [ bleep ], then we'll go. we go to the park and set up our nonsensical picnic. mushrooms mess with your stomach because they're poisonous mushrooms. so i was like, i have to go to the bathroom right now! and i then was like -- my friend was like, don't leave me! and i was like, i have to. i'm going to find a dutch restaurant that willem use their restroom.
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sweating profusely. burst into a tiny cafe. i remember dutch people being like, agh! i was like, can i use your bathroom! everyone was like, go, go, go! i was in there for an hour. i don'tanow if i went. i don't know what came out of where. i was there a long time. i remember thinking i must have gone by now. so i got up and left. then i had to though up. throw up. and it's busy there, like manhattan, people all over the streets. where do you throw up? and i was like, it's going to happen! i threw up, it splashed on dutch people's legs, which was gross. they were like, agh! again, disgusted dutch faces. then i went to find my friend. and he was laying inging face-down in the park. completely -- like a dead person. and i went up to him. and i was like, i'm back.
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he got and up he's like, we gotta go! and i was like, okay, i get it. he's like, we'll go back to the hostel. no, we gotta leave amsterdam! i was like, okay, i guess that's what's happening. i remember trying to collect our picnic. leave it! bail, bail! we left the pick anymore. then we went to the train station while still fully tripping on mushrooms and we bought tickets to paris. because that was close. and we went to paris. we arrived in paris in the middle of the night as we were kind of sobering up. why are we in paris right now? i remember thinking, i did so many drugs i wound up in another country! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're not acting these movies, you're living them. you tweeted something cryptic. i don't know if this had anything to do with anything that was in you. you tweeted, i know all the
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>> i do, yeah. >> jimmy: really. it isn't a joke? >> it wasn't a joke. it's plagued me since i was a kid. it's one of those songs that had cryptic lyrics. like the blinded by the night of tv songs -- >> jimmy: by the light. >> blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche everybody thinks. there's a line that i thought was, i drop-kicked your vagina. i remember thinking, that can't be it. if it is this show has a level i don't understand. so as an adult it's plague med. now there's the internet, i can go online and watch the theme soon on youtube over and over and learn the theme song. then i realized i could have just googled the lyrics which i did, which shows i'm stupid. i did that. so i learned all the words to the mr. belvedere theme song. >> jimmy: would you be willing
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lyrics? our keyboard player jeff already knew the mr. belvedere theme song. >> i imagine as a pianist it's one of the coveted works. >> jimmy: they teach you in piano school, obviously. here's a microphone. >> i'm going to do. >> jimmy: here we go, the theme song from mr. belvedere. straight song never had it before where you drop kick your jacket as you came through the door but sometimes things get turned around and no one's fair all hands look out below there's a change in the status quo whoa we're going to need all the help that we can get brought to a new arrival love
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we just might live the good life yet >> jimmy: seth rogen, everybody. this is why we don't have tv teen stars anymore. "the night before" opens november 20th. be right back with eric stonestreet and the royals! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of jimmy kimmel live are brought to you by hallmark channel's "countdown to christmas" with new movies premiering every saturday and sunday at 8:00 - 7:00 central. scanner: rescan item. rescan, rescan. rescan item. vo: it happens so often you almost get used to it. phone voice: main menu representative. representative. representative. vo: which is why being put first... relax, we got this.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, we're here. still to come, hologram with the band perry. last week i made a bet with a gentleman from kansas city, eric stonestreet, i bet the mets would win the world series. the mets did not win the world series so here we are. the deal was the winner got to hit the loser about it a paint ball gun in a bounce house. that said please welcome eric stonestreet from mick mu stas contact, jeremy guthrie! gentlemen.
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>> jimmy: how you doing? eric, first of all, congratulations. i'm so happy for you guys. what does it feel like to be a winner? >> unbelievable. >> jimmy: it feels good, right? >> feels great. >> jimmy: i wouldn't know, i've never really had that. congratulations to you. and to you, eric, you do so much for this team. >> yes, i did. suited up every day. rug russ spring training. i'm proud of these guys. it was incredible, awesome for kansas city. and what a man you are for honoring the bet and inviting them to shoot you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i don't remember inviting them to shoot me. i remember you inviting them to shoot me. >> oh, right, yeah. i did invite them. you know what? in kansas city we have a saying. if you don't like it and don't think it's fair, you can meet me
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60 feet, 6 inches away from the top of this gun. >> jimmy: all right. you guys are going to have 30 seconds to fire at will. you know, i don't know why i have a catcher's mitt and no chest protector, no shin guards or anything like that. >> you have a ball cover? >> jimmy: i do have a cup on and i'm wearing a very thin wet suit under this which i'm told will make no difference at all. >> well, you're a man of your word. >> jimmy: shouldn't you guys be on some kind of white trash vacation right now? >> we're here. >> right after this. >> jimmy: all right, all right. why didn't you have a gun? >> guillermo: this is fun, jimmy. >> jimmy: what do you mean? >> guillermo: it's a lot of fun. >> jimmy: this is not the deal, you're supposed to be my -- are you going to shoot them for shooting me? >> guillermo, i'll build a wall real fast. >> jimmy: be careful with that. also the audience is wearing eye
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[ cheers and applause ] >> i better put some eye protection on here. >> jimmy: i guess i have to take it. i mean, i really don't have any other choice. >> because you're allowing us all to shoot, the bet was a minute but i said 30 seconds seemed like plenty. >> jimmy: you are a doll, thank you so much. here we go, boys. don't do it yet! [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: why is seth rogen shooting me? he's not even american! >> how do they taste? >> jimmy: i'm going to tell you something, that was unbelievably painful. i will show you tomorrow night on the show. >> jimmy, that was me right in your crotch, i can promise you that. >> jimmy: i wish i could say it was the first time, eric. thank you, eric stonestreet. i shouldn't be thanking you but congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] thanks, seth. be right back with the band perry!
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[ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: music in nashville on "jimmy kimmel live" is brought to you by crown royal - the one made for a king. please drink responsibly. wireless networks are awesome. they let us use our phones to do amazing things. but why sign a two-year phone contract just to use them? at net10 wireless you can use the phone you already have. and keep your network and number too. for up to half the cost.
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>> jimmy: still to come, music from the band perry via hologram. tonight's hologram show is powered by the next generation of pcs which can do amazing things that no pc has ever done before. here to demonstrate is guillermo. >> guillermo: thanks to these new pcs i can control my own hologram. watch me get big. watch this! i want to grow bigger! even bigger than that! # am i drunk or is there five of me? i think both. how do we get back together? i don't want to be like this
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wah, wah, wah! poor little guillermo. now i got to put me back together. >> hey, guys. i have an idea. all of you guys run into me really fast. okay? go! go, go, go! whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! ta-da! [ cheers and applause ] thank you, pcs, for a job well done. >> dicky: go to pcsknowwhat.com to see what pcs can do for you. >> jimmy: we'll be back with one more hologram from the band perry! [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: music from nashville on jimmy kimmel is brought to you by crown royal, the one made for a king. please drink responsibly. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank seth rogen and jake owen - i would like to not thank eric stonestreet and the kansas city royals. apologies to matt damon we ran out of time. "nightline" is next but first, here with the song "live forever" from nashville and
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young yeah we're gonna live we're gonna live forever this time i want it all i want it right now feel the fall go go crazy go go go crazy we're gonna live we're gonna live forever this time i want it all i want it right now wanna feel the fall go go crazy go go go crazy we're gonna live we're gonna live forever i was feeling a storm but it wasn't outside was feeling a force i'm electrified i was feeling my heart there was thunder inside was feeling it all from my bed last night you will be my only one hold my hand so we can run you and i
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we're gonna live we're gonna live forever this time i want it all i want it right now feel the fall go go crazy go go go crazy we're gonna live we're gonna live forever this time i want it all i want it right now wanna feel the fall go go crazy go go go crazy we're gonna live we're gonna live forever we're gonna live we're gonna live forever all the things that i don't know all the dreams that i've been
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ahh all the ways that it could end tonight close your eyes we're gonna live we're gonna live forever this time i want it all i want it right now feel the fall go go crazy go go go crazy we're gonna live we're gonna live forever this time i want it all i want it right now wanna feel the fall go go crazy go go go crazy we're gonna live we're gonna live forever
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