>> "here and now," the program featuring the news and interests of the african-american community. here's your host, sandra bookman. >> coming up, the face that changed it all. legendary supermodel beverly johnson shares the fascinating story behind her career, as well as intimate details about her sometimes tumultuous personal life. also ahead, domestic violence -- the emotional, physical, and even financial toll. and the importance of changing police attitudes when dealing with victims. later, feeding the hungry -- food bank for new york city's 30 years of taking care of those who need help most. but first, police use of force in new york city -- a closer look at a new report from the department of investigation's office of the inspector general

that the nypd does not properly track incidents in which force was used and doesn't adequately discipline officers who use excessive force. >> here today with more on that report and its findings, as well as its recommendations, department of investigation commissioner mark peters and d.o.i. nypd inspector general philip eure -- inspector general for the nypd. i should add that to correct the title. thank you both for being with us this afternoon. >> thank you. it's good to be here. >> now, this report looked at what is 179 cases... >> mm-hmm. >> ...cases that had already gone to the civilian complaint review board. is that correct? >> that's right. what we did, what the inspector general's office did, is they polled 179 cases that had already gone through the entire process to look at the life of those cases and to see whether, "a," the investigations were properly done and, "b," whether,

excessive force, there was appropriate discipline. >> mm-hmm. and tell me what your most surprising findings were. >> i would say that the most surprising finding was that the new york city police department did not have a protocol in place to collect data on use-of-force encounters between officers and citizens. this is something that's been around in many major police departments for more than a decade, and so the fact that this came up during our investigation, when we're trying to understand the use of force throughout new york city, was a little bit surprising to us, and that will all change, though, as a result of our recommendation that they adopt a form to record use-of-force incidents. >> and why is it so important that that data be kept track of adequately? what do you think it does not only for the city but for the department? two reasons. the first is if you're not tracking force, then you don't

in a way that allows you to make adjustments so that you can really deal with any problems of excessive force. but, second of all, the very act of tracking things will, in fact, influence the way people do it, and to give you a great example, in 1972, the nypd, for the first time, started to track officers who fired their weapons, and in that year, there were 994 instances in which an officer discharged his or her weapon. the next year, one year after the tracking started, that number went down to 665, and last year, it was 79. now, the decrease is not solely due to tracking it, but tracking something makes you take it seriously in a way that can also impact the way you act on it. >> another interesting finding of yours is the fact that the department didn't even have -- when it comes to excessive force, you felt like there

about what kinds of excessive force, and it needed to be spelled out... >> that's exactly right, and that was another major finding of the report -- is that nypd did not, does not, have definitions with respect to a basic concept such as excessive force, what is deadly physical force. and, again, you know, as a result of our recommendations and nypd agreeing to make some changes, they are going to better define what the different types of force are, different force levels are, in a way that's helpful to officers. this is not some academic subject. you want these definitions to be clear so that officers can be clearly guided in their behavior toward citizens, and if officers understand what types of force they're justified in using, then you can hold them accountable. >> and another particular concern in your report was the fact that officers that had been found to have used excessive force were oftentimes, as it said in the report, not really disciplined or inadequately disciplined.

that kind of thing -- so there really didn't seem to be enough accountability. >> that's exactly right, and if you want to deal with excessive force, then you need to demonstrate that you take it seriously. and one of the things that we found that was disturbing was that in roughly 1/3 of the cases where not only the c.c.r.b. found excessive force, but then -- and this is important -- we went through, and our own investigators -- people who are former nypd, former secret service -- we went through, we reviewed the videotapes, we reviewed the documents, and we determined that, yes, we agreed there was excessive force. in roughly 1/3 of those cases, where the commissioner's office had evidence that we viewed of excessive force, the commissioner's office nonetheless failed to impose any discipline. now, the one piece of good news is that in the last year and a half, since 2014, that number has gone down to a little over

that's not perfect. we would like to get it to zero. but at least we can see that in the last year and a half, we're moving in the right direction, and we are imposing discipline in a more consistent way. there's still work to be done, but at least we're moving in the right direction. >> okay. i actually have another question on that, but i want to hit some of the other issues that you still did deal with in this report. you talked a lot about the fact that you didn't feel like officers were adequately trained in de-escalating a situation. talk to me about what you find and why that is so important, especially when you're talking about use of force. >> yeah. so, that was a major issue that we looked at. we looked at the training of officers and found that there was not a single course dedicated to teaching officers how to de-escalate encounters with citizens given during the police academy or even during the training given to current officers, and so we wanted and proposed that nypd come up with

teaching component, that officers could actually show their skills in de-escalating encounters. we found during our review that a surprisingly high number of cases involve situations where officers affirmatively escalated the encounter with citizens, and so this, to us, told us perhaps officers are not getting the sort of training that they need. we're hopeful that that will change going forward. >> one of the other things that came out in the report is that hispanics and african-americans were most likely the victims of use of excessive force. what's the answer to that? >> well, i think it's important to point out a couple of things on that. yes, our analysis did reveal that more than 85% of the complainants, if you will, in these use-of-force cases were either black or hispanic. but it's important to point out that those numbers correspond to the complaint rates across the

police-misconduct investigations in new york city. and we also found that people were not treated differently based on their race -- that is, that black, white, and hispanic officers use force in roughly the same percentages as each other and that there was no group of officers that used force disproportionately. >> so, i want to give you the last question. you got to do it fast. >> okay. >> i just want you to clarify for me -- your office as well as yours is not meant to be adversarial, but it is meant to make the department better and help protect the citizens of the city. is that not correct? >> that is absolutely correct. obviously, there are times, instances, where we can be adversarial because sometimes that's what you need to do to push people. we are the department of investigation, and through us, the nypd i.g., we are the inspector general.

police department, we are monitoring the police department, we are pointing out where there need to be changes, and then we are firmly insisting on those changes. that doesn't have to be adversarial. it often hasn't been adversarial. but it is -- having said that, we are insisting pretty firmly that changes get made, which is why, for the first time, the nypd will now be tracking use of force. that's never happened before, it's a major change, and it's happening because of this report >> all right. thank you both for being with us this afternoon, and i hope that you will come back. >> for sure. >> thank you for having us. >> up next, the face that

>> in 1974, beverly johnson became the first black model to appear on the cover of american vogue, changing her life and the modeling industry. four decades later, in her new memoir, "the face that changed it all," she tells the fascinating story behind her career and intimate details about her challenging catwalk through life. joining us today, supermodel beverly johnson. so nice to meet you. >> so nice to meet you! >> i have to tell you, you're on my bucket list of people i wanted to meet coming to new york city. >> ohh! >> and as a little girl, watching you -- and i wasn't that young -- but as a young woman, seeing you on the covers of magazines

you know, what was beautiful. that beautiful chocolate-brown skin -- love it. those cheekbones... >> ohh. >> i mean, i couldn't imitate those, but everything else, i could fantasize about. >> thank you. thank you so much. >> i loved your book. >> good! >> it really gave us an insider's look at what life was like in new york city... >> yes. >> ...among the beautiful people in the '70s, '80s, and '90s. why did you need to get this down on paper? >> well, there's a number of reasons i decided i wanted to do my memoirs. one was i was being courted about five years ago to do my memoirs, and i was like, "i'm too young to do my memoirs." and then i got older, so i said, "okay." but i thought that... a lot of the time, african-americans don't leave their legacy and their stories because of our painful past. i know my mother and my grandmother and great-grandmother -- it was very

happened in their lives. >> mm-hmm. >> and i wanted to break that cycle. so i decided i wanted to do my memoirs, and something else very unfortunate happened. my mother has alzheimer's. >> mm-hmm. >> and, in a sense, although it was very traumatic for our family, my mother having alzheimer's, it freed me up to say a lot of the things that i needed to say, because i feel that sometimes people think that celebrities live this -- and i've been out there 40 years or more, so -- this, you know, very glossy, blinged, superficial life, and i wanted to know that, along with this really great, illustrious career i had, i had a personal life that was going on, too. >> yeah. you had some trials and tribulations... >> yes, i did. >> ...that honestly surprised me. >> yes.

point, lost everything. >> yes. >> you built it back up. you have these disastrous -- that's the only way to put it -- disastrous relationships. >> yes. >> but you came through all of that. was it difficult to let people know all that? because i didn't know. i'm a journalist. i love you. you know, i'm hungry to read anything about you. but a lot of those things, i didn't know... >> yes. >> ...and was surprised about because you were at the top of your game. >> yes. well, what happened was i've always been very transparent in my life. i've spoken about anorexic bulimia. i've spoken about losing custody of my daughter, which was really one of the most traumatic events of my life. so, depression and a lot of things, but i've never gone into the details of some of the challenges that i've had in my life, absolutely.

and surprise. i did it because i wanted people to know that we, too, or i, too, have challenges and obstacles in life. >> and that you can bounce back. >> and that you can come through them on the other side and get stronger and smarter from those challenges, and i think that, at times, people have to go through the fire in order to be an amazing or extraordinary human being or an extraordinary life or have an extraordinary life. at the time, it wasn't so much fun, but... >> yeah, but now, when you look back on it, you realize that you were to overcome -- i mean, one incident where you discovered most of the money that you had saved was gone, that your -- i think it was your second husband... >> yes, it was. >> ...had really been basically stealing your money and using it. >> yes.

choices in men. i don't think there are women -- but when you look at that and you see that, i mean, now, when you reflect on that, were you just naive? was he duplicitous? what? >> both and all of the above. i think what happens is that a woman my age making the kind of money that i made or we make as models -- we don't grow up the way my best friend in buffalo, dada, grew up, you know, going to college, getting her -- you know, teaching school, getting a mortgage, you know, making the right choices. we grew up in a bubble that thought that, "okay, he doesn't have a job, but that's okay. i have enough money for both of us," you know? so, i think that, you know, i most certainly was stunted emotionally and mentally, and thus made a lot of bad choices. and, also, you're in

lot of people that prey off of women like me. and my daughter's father -- he was an older guy. >> mm-hmm. >> i realize that i couldn't divorce him because of that, and he lied about that, but, anyways, it was a very tough lesson. he was an african-american man. he brought reggae music to america in the '60s. he was a very accomplished music publisher of all of bob marley's music, so this was an accomplished man, but, yes, he did have another life. >> he had an ugly side. >> oh, yeah. >> i mean, he was -- he was a little gangster. >> oh, my god. i was really scared. and, you know, you don't think of african-american men being a part of the mafia, and i thought it was just a nice italian family that he was, you know, talking to, and, you know... but, you know, those were all of the, um...lessons that i had to learn.

really realize -- you talk about your relationship with arthur ashe... >> yes. >> yes. >> you held him in such high esteem. tell us about that. >> you know, as i go through life and i speak to different people and young people and when they don't know who arthur ashe is and they think it's just a stadium, ashe stadium, i'm like, "okay." and i realize that a lot of people really never knew the man arthur ashe. and i had that privilege, and i wanted to tell that story, as well as tell the story of my predecessor naomi sims, who was the reason why i wore my hair pulled back, the reason why i went in to the wig and hair-extension business, the reason why i went in to the makeup business -- because she did all of that before, and she was so extraordinary -- beautiful but also extraordinarily gracious. >> yeah. she was truly --

that i found interesting in the book, is that you made it a point of saying that about ms. sims. and you talked about the relationship you had with other models at the time that were, i would say, less than gracious. >> yes. it was a reality show. if there had been a reality show at that moment, you know, it was, you know, those kind of interactions that people think that goes on -- you know, the kind of catfighting that went on -- and it did indeed, i think particularly in my instance, where, you know, i always say i was the token black person in the modeling industry. most of the times, i was on a job where i was the only black person there and thus took a lot of the discrimination and prejudices that i encountered on the way. but, you know, a lot of the other models that were doing great, too, because you have to realize there were more black models and black modeling agencies and black designers in

>> yeah. it was -- yeah, it was quite a heady time. >> yeah. so, you know, that whole mentality of crabs in the basket and only having enough room for one when we all know that we live in an abundant universe and there's enough for everyone. >> yeah, and i like the fact that you seemed determined not to sort of pass on that cattiness with some of the younger models that came up behind you, and you talk about that in the book. >> yes. >> "here and now" will be right

>> how difficult was it to write about the struggles you had with alcohol and drugs during your career? >> well, for me, it was very easy because, you know, i live my life as a sober person, and so i understand it and i've been dealing with it for over, i don't know, 30-something years. and i thought that -- i thought that i wanted to really share that because i have -- i mean, there's a 12-step program, and we do share that all the time, and i have spoken a number of times in speaking about my addiction. and i thought it was just about time, because i really feel that we're continuing to -- people that don't survive the addiction. >> and you did.

it, and it's one of the things do. we don't promote -- you know, it's by attraction, not promotion. and so there's a very delicate line that i was walking, because my sobriety's very sacred to me, and it's -- it's -- it's not for everyone. it's -- it's mine. but i thought that i needed to share that. >> 'cause it was -- i think it was a sign of the times, but it was very sort of matter-of-fact, and it was almost, "everybody's doing it, and it's not a big deal," and it was quite open. >> yes. well, we didn't know what we know now about drugs. we didn't know cocaine was addictive. we knew it was supposed to make you more intelligent, and, of course, as a model, it killed your appetite, and, you know, you became, you know, this drawn, you know, clothes hanger with high cheekbones. and so -- and your eyes were nice and white and sparkly. so, we didn't know what we know now about drugs, and, also, we

health in the sense that you can remain thin and trim without starving yourself. we literally starved ourselves. >> yeah, you -- you did. you looked good... >> yeah. i looked great. >> ...but you were starving. >> and brain cells were leaving. >> i have to ask you, you write >> yes. >> and that's been in the news last year -- for the last year or so, really, in a big way. so many women have come forward and talked about their own experiences with him. um...difficult to write about in the book and sort of tell all, and are you happy you did? >> well, what happened was i started writing the book with allison samuels, who's a journalist for many years -- great writer. and when i decided i was gonna do my memoirs, i hadn't decided back then that i was going to talk about that encounter with bill cosby, but as i was working

she was, you know, jogging my memory about, you know, different incidents in my life, i decided i was going to tell that bill cosby encounter. and i did, and we wrote it up, and we handed it to the publishers, and they said, "we can't put that in the book." and i was like, "okay." >> and why? >> it's a legal liability. they -- they were not going to put that in the book. you know, they felt that they would be sued, everyone would be sued. and so i said, "okay. i understand that." and we went on. and then what happened in december of 2014, where all of these women were coming out, telling their story, not only about being drugged but about being sexually assaulted, and i realized i had the same story, except for i wasn't sexually assaulted. i wasn't raped. oh, thank god, by the grace of god, i wasn't. and there came the... dilemma.

or don't i say?" i mean, i went to all my family. everyone said, "don't -- why? you have nothing -- there's nothing in it for you. why would you...?" and just something -- my conscience, my principles -- i-i-i just -- i had to say something. so i wrote my story for vanity fair, and i told exactly what happened, and then the publishers come back and say, chapter? we'd like to put it in the >> mm-hmm. >> and for me, it was indicative of what the women had been trying to say all along. we were trying to tell our story, but nobody wanted to hear it. >> mm-hmm. >> nobody wanted it, so... it's in the book. it's an important chapter. but the book is about my childhood and the '70s and '80s. >> mm-hmm. >> and that's just one of -- one of the chapters. >> but since i have you here, i have -- are you surprised that there's now talk of prosecuting him in some of the cases, that this story is not going away?

have come forward... are you feeling like it is getting the attention that it needs -- not necessarily your story specifically, but that this appears to have been a pattern over decades? >> well, what's wonderful out of this whole horrific time is that we're talking about violence on women. >> mm-hmm. >> and this has been going on forever, and in america, we are finally having this conversation, and i firmly believe that he was the lightning rod for this conversation. >> why did you keep it to yourself for so long, and do you think that was the right thing to do? >> well, that's what we do. as women, we're told to be silent and voiceless. "don't rock the boat." "it'll pass." "it's okay."

and i was not raped or sexually assaulted -- but most of the time, when a woman is sexually harassed or molested, you don't say anything. it would have been abnormal to say something. >> mm-hmm. >> and i speak about an incident in my book as a 12-year-old, where my mother's best friend molested me. never said a word to anyone. it's the shame. it's the guilt. it's how we are bred as females. and now i think that the world is understanding that we have a voice and we have to use it. i've taught my daughter to use her voice, and i'm being the example for my granddaughter to use her voice. and so that's what's great about all of this that's happened. >> and one of the things in your book i also noticed is that how much you love your daughter and how, really, in a lot of ways, having your daughter --

lives -- but it really forced you to examine your life in a different way. >> oh, absolutely, because you're living for someone else. you know, as a mother -- and you know it from the moment you give birth -- the miracle of it, you know? -- that it's god in your life, working in your life. and you're responsible for this human being now in every way. and, um... that was always my motivation. that was always something that was the most important for me, is to be a mother and to be there for her. you know, that kind of selfless nature that we have as women -- it's all about -- and i think we get that, you know, because we're able to give birth. >> and i want to ask you now, with everything that you know now, everything that transpired

tell a young beverly johnson just starting out on this journey, with all of the great and the bad things? this advice wouldn't necessarily keep those things from happening, but it would give her some direction. what would you tell her about everything that's to come now? >> well, i would say to a young woman who wants to get in the modeling business or wants to, you know, get into the corporate world or become an entrepreneur, that education is key. it's the same thing i told my daughter. of course, she took my advice, but later on. >> [ laughs ] >> you know, she became a model, and then she went back to school and got her b.a. and her m.b.a., because that's something that no one will be able to take away from you. and it is such a self-esteem, um...boost that you actually accomplish this and that you can go out into the world and solve problems, because, basically,

and education does for you. it allows you to be able to get on in the world in a way that most people, um... are challenged by. let's just put it that way. so, that's what i would tell her -- that you'll still be beautiful after you finish college... >> [ laughs ] spoken like a mother. >> ...and that education is key. >> you enjoyed the ride. >> yes, i did. yes, i did. and i wouldn't change anything. i have no regrets. i have no regrets. i think things worked out in my life exactly the way they were supposed to, and i'm glad that i was able to get over to the other side and be able to share this book with people like yourself and your audience. >> beverly johnson, what a pleasure and an honor. thank you so much for coming. the book -- >> yes. >> thank you so much.

>> we'll be right back. holiday season's just like football season... you got your big games... ...and regular games. get it all at a great price... ...and the holiday season is won. everything in one place.

holiday season's just like football season... you got your big games... ...and regular games. get it all at a great price... ...and the holiday season is won. everything in one place. my stop & shop. >> the national coalition against domestic violence reports that 1 in 15 children are exposed to intimate-partner violence each year. at a recent nypd domestic-violence training conference, a domestic-violence child survivor shared her heartbreaking story. >> there was a time when she was advised by a social worker to fight back, and when she did fight back, i watched my father kick her down onto the couch and then kick the four front teeth out of her mouth. at some point, i started to track the worst attacks on the back of one of my framed school photos so i could hide what i

keep track of the history of abuse so that i could tell somebody when he killed her. and i really believed and i waited for him to kill her. >> that survivor is sharmayne jenkins, now a certified life coach and positive-psychology practitioner, and she is joining us today to talk to us about this very important issue. why was it so important, do you think, that you be involved in training these officers? what were you able to sort of enlighten them about that perhaps they hadn't given much thought to before? >> i think that, a lot of times, when the police answer these calls, they look at these people without any empathy. they don't understand the story. they don't understand why people even end up in these situations or why they continue to exist in them, and so their approach oftentimes is pretty callous and oftentimes removed from the

has allowed these people to put themselves or remain in these situations, and so what i wanted to offer them was a look into what it's like to have to endure those kinds of situations, as well as what i know about -- from a personal standpoint and professionally, what i know about why people stay in those kind of situations. >> now, let me ask you first, how do officers respond to the information you're getting them? does it give them pause to realize that they're sort of just treating this like another moment instead of looking at the people behind the situation? >> the feedback that i received was that it was enlightening to some of them and it did cause them to course-correct, in a way. i think, you know, they look at certain crimes. most of the times, there's a certain sympathy for victims of other crimes because they don't feel like they have any control or say-so over being that victim. but they feel like domestic-violence people have a choice.

doesn't have a choice. choice. a rape victim doesn't have a choice. but you had a choice. and, really, oftentimes, it doesn't feel like they have a choice, so their approach is different, and i think it gave them an opportunity to look at that like, "wow, they are victims as anyone else in a crime is." >> and you're really able to offer that insight, because, as we said before and as we heard you talk about, as a child, you witnessed some of this behavior. >> all of the behaviors. >> all of the behavior. i mean, some... and so i would ask you, at what point did you realize you needed to get help for what you'd seen as a child because it was impacting the way you were living your life and perhaps even, you know, choosing relationships? >> um, i don't -- i think i probably realized it after my marriage went "kaput." >> mm-hmm. >> and, you know, because i study psychology, i started looking at different

too, right? made me real clear on some of my thinking, and then i realized i really had to take a look at the story i was telling myself and how i was moving forward with life based on my past, 'cause, in many ways, my past was dictating a lot of what was happening in my present, and my future was looking pretty bleak because i had a narrative around relationships, and s-- >> how -- i'm sorry. i don't want to interrupt you. but how did you see some of this -- just an example of how your past was playing out in your present. >> i became my father in many ways, not physically, but i was really aggressive with my ex-husband. i hope he hears that. i told him sorry. i've apologized for years to him. but, you know, i was so afraid that what happened to my mother would happen to me that i was going to shut him down before he had an opportunity. i picked somebody who was meek, in many ways, and then i wanted to ensure that he never became who my father was, so, in many ways, i became my father in my

through what my mother went through. >> mm-hmm. and i guess out of all of this is we have a tendency to think, "well, kids will get over everything," and they really aren't necessarily as self-reliant and as resilient, especially emotionally, as we'd like to think they are. >> yeah. it always upsets me when people are like, "oh, kids bounce back easy." "oh, they'll get over it." "oh, they'll be fine." that's not true. you know, my favorite analogy is the residuals of this is like -- it's like mercury, right? even if you get ahold of it, it squeezes out of any little hole it can, and it takes on another form. so, many times, they seem fine, but you'll find different areas of their lives where what they've been exposed to has caused them to become reactionary in different ways, and it looks differently, and just because you take them out the situation and tell them everything's gonna be okay doesn't mean that they're gonna get over it, move on, and be happy, healthy, and whole.

>> so, what do you tell women who, you know, find themselves in a situation now, as adults, about getting out of the situation? >> i think -- i don't think you can really tell people how to get out, but i think that it's more about letting them know what they deserve and what's ahead of them. like, a lot of people don't think they deserve any better. they don't even think better is possible. some people don't even know this is abnormal, in many ways. it's generational. they've seen this all over. so, for me, it's about offering them a new perspective, to show them -- 'cause people can't -- you cannot aspire to what you haven't been exposed to. >> mm-hmm. >> and some people aren't even exposed to the concept of having a relationship that's not violent. and so i want to offer them that and then give them something to strive for. >> mm-hmm. and, you know, so, we're focusing on the victims, but on

person that is the perpetrator -- >> mm-hmm. >> it's also the only thing they've seen, as well, so they don't know how to express their love or anything else except -- >> sometimes people think that is expressing love, right? some people -- "he's passionate," you know? but a lot of times, you know, i say, "hurt people hurt people," you know, and when you have brokenness in your life, sometimes all you have to offer is brokenness. and if all you've seen expressed as relationship is this kind of, uh...violence -- right? if this how relationships have been expressed around you, that's all you know. some people don't have anything else to offer. >> how -- you know, how difficult or easy is it, as you talk to people, to get them to open up, to hear what you're saying, to even think about the prospect of looking at themselves differently, examining their life differently, you know, really

want here and how do i at least it?" how difficult or easy is it to get people to open up their minds to you? >> i think it's if they're ready. like, some people are ready for change. even if they don't know anything else, they know they don't want this anymore. >> mm-hmm. >> so, some people are just waiting for the opportunity for somebody to speak life to them. and then there are some people who are just -- they're stuck at that point, and they get to be stuck. you know, when you're ready to change, i'm available to you, but a lot of folks, because that's my background and i can be empathetic, and some people are like, "you don't understand, you don't know," but i do understand and i do know, right? and even though i was a child, i still have certain conversations with my mother, and as an adult, i'm real clear on a lot of what it took for her to even want to stay there and how she could have thought -- my mother thing, right?

>> and, in fact, a lot of times what we find is, you know, women's reason for staying -- they say it's for the children, and it's also economic. >> yes. financial abuse is one of the -- about 98% of the women that stay in domestic-violence relationships or go back to domestic-violence relationships do it because of their finances. either they can't afford to stay by themselves or this person has taken over and controlling their money, has siphoned it off, so they need it or they feel like for their children it's a better thing. they don't want to lose their home. they don't want to have to go live in different situations. so, they stay or they go back because they feel like they will not be able to survive if they don't have their own financial support of the person who's been beating them. >> and one last question before we let you go. what would you say to somebody maybe listening to this conversation who recognizes maybe little pieces of themselves? you know, how do they start the

>> i think one of the biggest things you can do is be kind to yourself, right? don't beat yourself up over what it is that you've allowed yourself to endure. from there, i think it's real important to know that if you leave somebody, oftentimes, when you try to take new ground, it still feels like loss. >> mm-hmm. >> so, don't be surprised that, even when you leave something bad, that you miss it, that you feel like your life is incomplete, and don't let that be your reason for going back and don't beat yourself up because you actually miss a relationship that didn't serve you. >> all right, sharmayne jenkins. thank you so much for being with us this afternoon.

>> we'll be right back. morning gary. we are get schooled... ...dot com. you want a college education, don't you? you know you do. that's why we're here. we're free, and here to guide you through every step of the way. starting with... attendance. [air horn] gary, financial aid forms... picking a college, man! you and us. we go together like tacos and tuesday. and i loooove tacos. narrator: go to getschooled.com >> we've been talking about domestic violence this afternoon, and now we want to focus on one of the least discussed but often most oppressive forms of intimate-partner violence -- financial abuse -- and one of the big reasons, in fact, that victims will stay in these

joining me now is stacey tisdale. she is the senior editor of personal finances for black enterprise and author of the article "the financial chains that bind: victims of domestic violence." thank you so much, stacey... >> thank you so much, sandra. >> ...for lending us your expertise this afternoon. explain to folks what we mean when we talk about financial abuse. >> financial abuse is really when a perpetrator holds a victim in a relationship, in an abusive situation, by withholding their economic security, essentially. and so many people fail to make the link that there's a financial component to domestic abuse. in fact, the allstate foundation did a poll that found that 75% of americans didn't make any connection between financial abuse and domestic abuse, yet financial abuse is present in just about 100% of domestic-abuse cases. >> and when you talk about financial abuse, it really can take several different forms within the context of a

let's talk about some of those. >> you can have a perpetrator with whole access to money. i've heard of stories where you have someone not contribute to the household finances at all and make someone else responsible for it. you have people destroy people's credit, and that's really difficult for victims, because one of your only ways out is, you know, to rebuild your life, rebuild your financial security, rebuild your credit, so that's really a dangerous aspect, and people really don't make the link between thinks like the pay gap, how all of this plays out in financial-abuse situations in the fact that women -- you know, more than half the people earning minimum wage are women, so a lot of times they're forced to choose between taking care of themselves and their children, their financial security, and their safety. it's a really rotten choice. and, you know, if you're in that situation as a woman, what is your way out, when i think most mothers, quite frankly, will say, "i'll take it because i

i don't have anywhere to go." so, what do you suggest a woman that finds herself in a situation where either she doesn't have the money or she realizes that she has been put -- her options are out? >> first of all, two resources. the ywca -- a lot of people don't think of that as a resource for domestic abuse. it's a phenomenal resource for victims of domestic abuse, financial abuse, and the c.e.o., dr. dara richardson-heron, is really knowledgeable about financial abuse. also, the allstate foundation and the national network to end domestic violence have joined forces to create a financial-education curriculum, "moving forward through financial management," that is fantastic. they created it about a decade ago, and rutgers university analyzed there's 400,000 women who've gone through it, and the results are just astounding. 90% of the women now know how to create financial goals. 90% of the women now know how to

over 70% know how to improve their credit. so, financial security, getting skills, and there's a wonderful website, clicktoempower.org. if anyone finds themself in that situation, clicktoempower.org can really help you find resources to help yourself and to get the skills you need to take yourself out of the situation. >> and i suppose it's also important that people sort of acknowledge financial abuse as part of the equation in a domestic-abuse situation. >> it's huge, and just so people get a feel for this -- i mean, we really just don't think about this that much -- think about people you know who are in unhappy marriages who can't leave. i know several women who just, as their kids were growing up, they decided to stay home and not work, and then their marriages soured, and they feel like they don't have any choices. they feel like they can't leave. it's a lousy choice to have to make. so, see, you see how someone can slip into this. and, you know, abuse, and it's

people really have to think about this financial component of domestic abuse. again, the research shows that it is there 98% of the time and really help people develop their skills and go to places like clicktoempower. go to places like the ywca for people to get help so that they can step out of these situations. >> thank you so much, stacey. next on "here and now," helping feed millions of hungry new yorkers for three decades --

stay with us.what makes this simple salad the best simple salad ever? heart healthy california walnuts. the best simple veggie dish ever? heart healthy california walnuts. the best simple dinner ever? heart healthy california walnuts. great tasting, heart healthy california walnuts. so simple.

>> nearly a million and a half new york city residents are food-insecure. that's according to u.s. department of agriculture statistics. and nearly that same number rely on emergency food programs each year, and helping to meet that need and so much more for 30 years, food bank for new york city. joining us this afternoon is margarette purvis. she is the president and c.e.o. of food bank for new york city. so nice to have you here. >> thank you for having us. >> first of all, i don't think a lot of people realize how big the problem is... >> absolutely. >> ...and just how big of a job

your agency oversees, what, about 1,000 smaller operations? >> yeah. there are about 1,000 charities, and even in some schools, that are members of food bank for new york city. they are connected to us not only through our food inventory but the 18 to 20 tractor-trailer trucks that we have on the road every single day and other programming that we make sure we seed in the neediest communities around the city. >> and why is the need so great? i know that there's not the same amount of federal funding. in particular, the snap program took a hit a couple of years ago, and i think $18 is the amount less that some families are getting a month. you know, to me and you, that may not seem like a lot, but if you are literally counting every penny, it makes a difference. >> absolutely. you know, inside of the city, everyone should just understand that the root cause of hunger and the reason anybody would need us is poverty, plain and simple. you know, we live in a city where there are so many people

but this is a city of ever-increasing rising costs and folks who work every day but they don't have a wage that will allow them to live comfortably. the one thing that you can control is the food, 'cause if you don't pay the rent, you will be homeless. so, it's a give and take that's just about the struggle of living inside of the city. the food-stamp cuts did not help matters -- didn't help matters at all. and then the other thing that adds on is children. you know, when you're already in a very expensive city and you have people who depend on you, difficult. you know, inside of the city right now -- we always say -- people are like, "oh, the hungry." we hate for people to say that because they're just the new yorkers, and more and more of them are seniors and small children. 400,000 children in new york city get their dinner from soup kitchens and pantries. >> and you offer a variety of

just about, you know, the food on the shelf, but that makes a big difference. you provide meals for students at schools. >> campus pantries. >> so, tell us about some of those things, because i know that families that have this need can go to that food pantry and shop as if they're going to the grocery store. >> yes. yes. you know, lots of different types of programs. the majority of the charities that receive their food from us -- they are considered food pantries. a food pantry is a place where you go and get actual groceries to take home and prepare. a soup kitchen is where the food is prepared for you and you eat it in a congregate style. but in the last couple of years, we decided to try a new program called a campus pantry, and that's where we placed emergency food resources at elementary schools and community colleges. we thought we would have to just pilot it. well, that program has grown tremendously, and we have even more and more schools and families asking for these programs to be in their schools, as well.

access to the food, but... there's a lot of stigma and shame about poverty and having to stand in line at a pantry, and everyone knows that your family is struggling. you know, this is a very densely populated city. so the school allows you that while you go in to pick up your kids, you can also pick up groceries, and lots of principals have reached out to us, asking for this particular program. >> and this is just such a terrific program. we are running short of time. i know a lot of people looking at this interview want to know where they can go to find out more information about what you do and how they might be able to help in some way. >> so many ways to help. always start at our website, foodbanknyc.org. you can find places where you can go and volunteer, find ways to give money and your support, and even where to drop off food. even if it's in your local community, we're happy to help, 'cause every new yorker can do something for needy new yorkers. >> all right. margarette purvis,

will be talking with you again. >> thank you, sandra. >> thank you. we'll be right back. meet the moore's! we're the moore family, and as you can see, we need an internet that can do more. we do more games, and more streaming. so we need more speed. that's why we switched to time warner cable. you can too. call now. now we can connect more devices, at the same time. the wifi in this house is amazing. so is my guacamole. hi grandma and grandpa! ha, look at that! [laughs] time warner cable even has an internet plan for us. get the internet speed that's right for you. from 3 megs to ultra fast 300 megs they even made it easy to switch

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