have a great >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- donald trump. celebrities read mean tweets. and music from gary clark jr. with cleto and the cletones. and now, so there's no confusion, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very nice. i'm jimmy.

thank you for watching. thanks for coming. we have a good show, an exciting show for you tonight. amongst all 485 republican trump is here with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] remarkable, when donald trump entered this race back in june, no one could have predicted that in december he'd be leading by almost 30 points. and actually one person could have predicted it and he's here tonight. his name is donald trump. [ cheers and applause ] we know donald trump as a businessman, author, reality show star. but our children will know him as the president who blew up the moon for being a loser. there's extra heightened security today even more than guillermo usually provides. bomb-sniffing dogs in the audience. everybody had to be wanded.

mr. trump was in las vegas toss has night for the fifth republican debate, the third most watched primary debate ever. 18 million view tuned in. more people watched the debate than watched the season finale of "the voice." for real. maybe carly fiorina is the new gwen stefani, i don't know. the primary focus of the debate was national security. donald trump said to stop isis we have to penetrate the internet. now, i don't know how often donald trump goes on the internet but it seems to me there's already a lot of penetration happening there already. ted cruz said he would carpet bomb isis until the sand glowed, then it was pointed out isis was headquartered in a major city with a major isolation, he said car pat bombs should only target isis which means ted cruz has invented a carpet bomb that only kills the bad guys which is remarkable. i don't know why we didn't think of that before. [ cheers and applause ]

candidates at the top of the debate. one of my writers told me when ted cruz was introduced, his 7-year-old son said, "oh, god, that guy's limp." ted cruz has been moving up in the polls but he's still only the fourth most popular cruise behind tom, penelope, and carnival. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] dr. ben carson began with a moment of silence, then continued the debate with many, many more moments of silence. although he may have been taking a power nap, i don't know. the worse of ted's exchanges, ted cruise and marco rubio got into it about immigration. the majority of the spark was between donald trump and jeb bush. >> we need toughness. i think jeb is a very nice person. he's a very nice person. but we need tough people, we need toughness. we need intelligence and we need tough. jeb said when they come across the border they come as an act of love. >> you said september 30th -- >> am i talking or are you talking?

>> you can go back. you're not talking. you interrupted me. >> september 30th you said it. >> apologize, jeb? no. am i allowed to finish? >> one at a time, go ahead, mr. trump. >> so again -- >> you're -- please. one at a time. >> you're trying to build up your energy but it isn't working very well. >> these freestyle rap battles are getting a lot wider since the '90s. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: jeb bush as you know has suffered from the perception he isn't tough. so last night he made a concerted effort to fight back to back. >> the simple fact is if you think this is tough and you're not being treated fairly -- >> this isn't tough. >> imagine what it's going to be like dealing with putin. >> i wish it was always as always. >> dealing with islamic terrorism that exists. this is a tough business as president. >> oh, yeah. i know you're a tough guy, jeb. >> we need a leader you're never going to be president of the united states by insulting your way -- >> i'm at 42 and you're at 3 so so far i'm doing well. so far i'm doing better. if you're moving over further and further.

off the end. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: then he took his lunch money and pulled his underwear up to his neck. my biggest take-away from last night is whoever wins the election, we need to force jeb bush and donald trump in a house together with cameras on them 24 hours a day. one of my friends was watching trump and jeb fighting last night. he e-mailed me and said it reminded him of a pair of guests we had on our show earlier this year. look here. kermit and miss piggy. pretty spot-on, right? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is a news report, a photograph was taken at a jeb bush viewing party in his home state of florida. >> take a look at this photo. it was tweeted by the washington post. this was taken during has night's presidential debate at a jeb bush watch party in miami. >> you can see they had a pretty great turnout. and that's probably the guy who

jeb bush sent a strange e-mail to his supporters this week. he sent a letter that promised he would stop e-mailing them for the rest of the year if they'd donate $25 for to his campaign. this is the screen grab sent to ashley, if you chip in $25 or you don't receive any of these fund-raising e-mails for the so for there 25 bucks he'll leave you a alone for two weeks. this plan seems to be working. today the bush campaign took it one step further. >> jeb push bush understands what america needs. and what americans need right now is fewer e-mails from jeb bush. donate $25 to the bush campaign today and jeb won't get send you another e-mail for the rest of 2015. for a $50 donation jeb won't e-mail you in 2016 either. and for $100, jeb will drop out of the race altogether.

he doesn't want to be here. help him go home. >> i'm jeb bush and i approve this message. >> jimmy: click your heels together, it will be okay. christmas is almost here. every year around christmas guillermo and i put on elf costumes to lighten santa's workload. santa is very busy this time of year. we help him by interviewing kids to determine if they've been naughty or nice. today we had a chat with a young lady who turned out to be very, very nice. yeah, come on in. how you doing? >> good. >> jimmy: thank you, i'll take your note. how are you? >> good. >> jimmy: my name is jimmy, i'm >> hi. >> jimmy: this is guillermo. he's also an elf. >> guillermo: hi. >> jimmy: what is your name? >> elin. >> jimmy: elin? like tiger woods' ex-wife? yes? >> yeah. my name is elin. >> jimmy: let's see, elin, you've written a letter to santa claus.

playhouse. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: and i want a kitty walking set. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: and i want a playhouse for me. >> yes. >> jimmy: and beanie babies. merry christmas, elin. that seems reasonable. have you been naughty or nice this year? >> nice. >> jimmy: tell me some of the nice things you've done. >> i've been really sweet to my friends at preschool. >> jimmy: that's nice, that's good. what else? >> and i've been giving so much love to my mommy and daddy. >> jimmy: aww. that's nice. what else? >> and i really love them. >> jimmy: aww. that's nice. >> guillermo: yes. >> jimmy: what else? >> and my daddy's going to be my daddy forever. >> jimmy: aww, that's nice. >> guillermo: that's nice. >> jimmy: now what are some of the naughty things that you've done this year? >> i have done nothing naughty! >> guillermo: nothing? >> nothing naughty. >> guillermo: not even one thing?

>> nope. >> jimmy: tiny? >> no. >> jimmy: somewhat -- >> no. >> jimmy: huh? >> nope. >> jimmy: huh? >> nope. >> jimmy: heh? >> nope. >> jimmy: huh? >> nope. >> jimmy: huh? >> i've done nothing naughty, nothing. >> jimmy: well, santa's been watching you. he says there have been a few -- nothing big. but he says there have been a few little naughty things that you've done. you tell me if you've done any of these things. >> well -- i really don't want to tell them. >> jimmy: you can tell us. okay? >> just -- >> jimmy: teeny little things. they're not big things. they're nothing. >> they're just teeny, tiny -- >> jimmy: you're a child, why would anyone care about these little things you've done? >> nothing naughty. >> jimmy: there have been so many good things. tiny little bad things.

>> jimmy: like nothing. for instance. sometimes you make not to nice comments about the girls at school's dresses. is that true? >> yes. >> jimmy: because they don't look good, you're just trying to help them. >> yeah, they don't look good. >> jimmy: you're like the fashion police at school. yes? you're like a young joan rivers. >> i'm really, really sweet to all my friends. >> jimmy: it says here you can sometimes be bossy with your friends at school. >> nope. never. >> guillermo: never? not even tiny tiny? sometimes? >> a teeny bitty bit. >> jimmy: like nothing. like who cares. why is this even on the list? what's wrong with santa? that's so tiny i can't even see it, it's so small. >> guillermo: i don't see it. >> jimmy: it's like nothing.

eat you'd starve to death, right? >> well, i -- i eat a lot of vegetables. >> jimmy: it was a metaphor. it was nothing to do with actual food. please have a seat. let's keep going through this list. >> i just love everybody i know. >> jimmy: you love everyone. >> i love everyone i know. >> jimmy: is there none anyone you don't like? >> nope. >> jimmy: are there any bad kids at school you can tell us about? >> gracie has been bad. >> jimmy: gracie, now we're what did grace do? >> she has been really mean and not letting me play with her. >> jimmy: oh, boy. should we tell santa about this? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah? okay. she should get no toys, right? >> right. >> jimmy: right, okay. you love everyone, though? >> i like everyone, except gracie. >> jimmy: except for gracie. >> except for gracie. >> jimmy: when i look through this list and i see all the good things that you've done, then i think about the bad things, i feel like they're so small. right? >> yeah, right.

would you say? >> just -- like that big. >> jimmy: it's getting bigger, actually. isn't it? it's bigger than you actually originally -- how big? >> like that. >> jimmy: yeah, because before it was like this, but now i feel like it's like this. >> yeah, it's like this. >> jimmy: what we want you to do now before christmas is get it down to zero. get it down to nothing. only good things until christmas. okay? >> got it. >> jimmy: i think this is going to be a great year for you. very nice to meet you. >> thank you. >> guillermo: nice meeting you. here, let me give you this. >> jimmy: do you want a candy cane? >> wow! >> jimmy: can you say thank you? >> thank you. >> jimmy: see, she's so nice. >> guillermo: she's so nice, she's so sweet. >> jimmy: so nice. it's like this, the bad things. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. we have to take a break. we'll be back with our christmas gift to you, a brand-new edition

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. donald trump and gary clark jr is on the way. how many of you were planning to see the new "star wars" move why? pretty much everyone is. "star wars: the force awakens" doesn't open until friday but it's made more than there $100 million in advance ticket sales which is a record. the force is so strong it might even wake ben carson. "star wars" will open on over 4,100 screens this weekend. they're showing it to the astronauts on the international space station, which is an awesome place to see

it's an awesome place to see "star wars," terrible place to see the movie "gravity." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: many of the wars moch moving stars on graphity. as donald trump proved most every day. the twitterverse can be a battlefield. from time to time we like to shine a light saber on the nasty things people pose by to celebrities by having those celebrities read those tweets a loud and lo and behold we've we've done it again in tonight's edition of "mean tweets." >> the internet is such a great thing. bleep julia louis-dreyfus' 50-year-old ass still on tv and winning awards and [ bleep ] you need to retire. okay. i'll retire. >> sean penn, you're rude. dumb, rude, and full of farts. stanky sean.

>> it must have hard for liv tyler to have a father who's a giant ball sac. that's amazing. >> elizabeth banks is a whore. >> daniel radcliffe is one of god's most unattractive creations since the oddball. >> kirsten dunst's teeth bother the [ bleep ] out of me. they look like tic-tacs throwing gang signs. >> when i grow up i hope i can be as ugly in as many different stair hairstyles as jason schwartzman. >> i swear if i see michael b. jordan i'm going to slap that mini feather duster he calls a moustache off his lip. >> what's the worst thing it said? >> i'd rather stick a beaver in my anus than sit through a key and peele. >> julianna margulies is one of the finest ugly women i have seen. thank you.

like depressed couch farts. >> julianna brewster is the next meryl streep, if meryl streep was the worst actress in the world. >> kurt russell's face is made of aged denim. i wouldn't agree more. >> viola davis' boobs look like a butt, and i think she thinks her butt boobs are an asset. it's not. >> i have matthew perry syndrome, i'm a sarcastic loser with a giant head. what's the matter with my head? >> lake bell's face is about as beautiful as a worn-out leather boot. #fugmug. >> sarah paulson is annoying when she yells, or cries, or talks, bite me [ bleep ]. that's how i feel about that.

[ bleep ], [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: some people take it better than others. tonight on the show music from gary clark jr. we'll be right back with donald trump! [ cheers and applause ] when it's your job to protect the world's greatest nation, it's your responsibility to solve the world's greatest challenges. this is why we search for the best and brightest. why we train for every eventuality on land and water,

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this just in. the final countdown to christmas is here. wait what? gary, is this teleprompter right? sweet molasses! i need to start shopping immediately.

the holidays are here. don't forget you can order on target.com and pick up in store the same day. i ordered this today. it's for you. boop! barbie! a new tie!

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. tonight from austin, texas, this is -- he is terrific. his latest album is "the story of the of sonny boy slim," gary clark jr. is here. tomorrow night ryan seacrest will be here to talk about new year's eve, and we'll have music from gavin james. please join us then. there came a point in our first guest's life when he had to make a decision as to whether to buy the united states or just become our president. as he may mention, he is the frontrunner for the republican nomination for the highest office in the land, please welcome donald trump.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for coming. for honoring your commitment to are here. unfortunately you were unable to do this when we were in new york. >> that's right. >> jimmy: you came via southwest airlines, i assume. >> actually i did. we came from arizona. we did this specifically. he's been terrific. he stuck up with me, how long a go with barbara walters. >> jimmy: i got in a lot of trouble for that. >> i know you did. that's why i like you. you went against the establishment, we like that. >> jimmy: that's why i get fired all the time. >> you're doing just fine. he is doing really great. >> jimmy: when was the last time you were on a filthy public plane? how long has been?

washington, you hop in a shuttle, i do that, i think it's great. i like it, i love people, i'm with people. >> jimmy: did you have fun in las vegas? >> i had a great time, i thought it was an amazing evening. it's become like the super bowl. it's incredible. >> jimmy: it is crazy. >> last cycle you had a million, or two million people, they would have considered it a big event. nobody wanted -- the networks didn't want the debates. then something happened this cycle, and i won't tell you what it is. and fox had 24 million people. and everybody said, what happened? cnn had the biggest audience in the history of cnn. 23 million people. last night i guess they had 18 million people. >> jimmy: you suggested cnn should pay you -- >> they should pay me a lot. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i happen to agree with you. it's not like they run these things commercial free. there are commercials there. >> they fake a fortune. they went from $4,000 for 30 seconds to $250,000 for 30

>> you get none of that. >> zippo. nothing. >> jimmy: that's a shame, you could use more money. >> what did it want to do, i was going to strike and say, pay it to the wounded warriors, give it to the vets. [ cheers and applause ] fox, all of them, they're making a fortune. you know the business. this is something they didn't even want these debates. they were like, they were forced to take them for licensing purposes. right? now all of a sudden it's become a big deal. i guess fox was the biggest in the history of cable, 24 million people. >> jimmy: it seemed like last night you were making a concerted effort to be nicer to your fellow candidates. >> it's true. >> jimmy: you said nice things about -- you said jeb bush is a nice guy, huckabee a good guy, carson a fine man, ted cruz over the weekend you said acts like a maniac, then you said you thought he had a wonderful temperament. >> right. >> jimmy: that was intentional? did you decide you were going to be nicer? >> no, i would like to see the republican party come together,

divisive in the sense that i've been hitting people pretty hard. >> jimmy: a little bit, yeah. >> and ultimately, you know, we have to come together and get this thing done. and i'm having a great time. >> jimmy: do you think ted cruz is scared of you? >> no, i don't think so. >> jimmy: i think he is. >> you do? okay. >> jimmy: i think he's very, very careful. >> do you? >> jimmy: do you think jeb bush is scared of you or just scared in general? >> i think he's scared. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] he is having a hard time. >> jimmy: do you think he wants to run for president? >> no, no. he was a happy warrior, but he's never been a happy warrior. and he's having a hard time running. he's really had a -- he was supposed to be -- because of the name, everyone thought he was the odds-on favorite. and i defined him. i gave him this term, low energy. i said he's a low-energy individual. we do not need in this country low energy, we need high energy. >> jimmy: we do need high energy. we don't need me for sure.

>> i think jeb's a nice person. i don't know if he's enjoying it or not. i think he's a nice person. >> jimmy: someone asked jeb if he would kill baby hitler, and he said he wouldn't. do you think he would kill baby hitler? >> no, he's too nice. >> jimmy: would you kill baby hitler? >> no comment. >> jimmy: no comment. i feel like baby hitler would kill us if he got the chance. >> that was a vicious baby, let me tell you. >> jimmy: what happens during the commercial breaks during the debates? do you talk? >> you have a little time off. it's an amazing thin. you'll be going after someone, then during the commercial, hey, how are you doing, where are you going for dinner? it's the craziest thing. it's politics, it's all talk. if that happened in real life you'd never speak to the people. >> jimmy: it seems like you're just kind of figuring that out. you take things personally when things are said about you, then

times more. >> well, it's been to me an amazing experience. look, you and i have fend been friends in a sense because your show, so long ago, and you have -- tell me, do you know how well he's doing in the ratings department? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks to you. >> oh, and by the way, and tonight's going to be a very big night. >> jimmy: tonight will be a big night. >> that's one thing. >> jimmy: it has nothing to do with me but it will be. >> i really have enjoyed the process. >> jimmy: are there too many candidates? >> yes. >> jimmy: should they reality style eliminate someone every week? wouldn't that be nice? >> you have guys like pataki, he has zero. lindsey graham, he has zero. people should get out. i don't know what they're doing. they're on the children's stage. they call it the children's stage. they're talking. they have nothing going. and at a certain point you have together out. we have people last night. look, it would be nice if you had four, five people, they could really discuss issues. when you have that many, there's not when -- there's no time.

the first debate turns out to be more substantive because there are only four people talking to essentially anyone. >> yeah, that's true. >> jimmy: so okay, so i want to take a break. i want to ask you about when -- first of all, my friend guillermo is very upset with you. >> he's a very famous man. >> jimmy: he's very famous. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and he's very worried. donald trump is here. we'll be right back.

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>> jimmy: we are back with donald trump. so has night carly fiorina when you said something that i thought was very interesting. you said you wish, i'm paraphrasing, you wish we'd had $4 trillion $5 trillion we spent on the war back to spend on the country, on education, on hospitals, et cetera. and carly fiorina said, that's what president obama when i can't believe a republican candidate for president would say something like that. >> did you hear her say that? we've spent probably $5 trillion. how about all the lives gone? just gone. thousands and thousands. actually hundreds of thousands. and if you look at both sides because you have to look at both sides, millions of lives. we've spent probably $5 trillion. what we do we have? nothing. there's nothing, it's a mess, worse than ever before. >> jimmy: why is it anti-republican to say you wish that money had been spent on education?

have spent a tremendous -- if we would have done nothing, let the dictators stay the hell where migrations, we wouldn't have all the problems, we could have spent there $5 trillion on rebuilding our roads, schools, hospitals, infrastructure, airports. i made that point. like it. right thing. i think maybe that's why we resonate. we owe $19 trillion. it's going to be $21 million with this new budget. it's ridiculous. we have to bring our country back. for us to be playing this horrible game and stupid game. and the bad part is now that we have to do something. evil intentions over there. so we've got to doing some. but it's a tough situation. >> jimmy: speaking of saying the sending everyone back to back who's not in this country legally. guillermo came here illegally. thank god he got he went through the process and got it in. [ cheers and applause ]

i feel like that should count for something. >> it's a major star, folks. >> jimmy: aren't the people -- don't we want people who want to be here so badly that they will risk everything to be in america and to be an american? aren't these the people that we want in this country? >> you know, it is true and -- [ cheers and applause ] i have thousands of hispanics that have worked for me over the years, work for me now, we have thousands. mexico, all over the place. they're unbelievable people. what i'm saying is they have to come in through a legal process. they're going to want come in and we want to have that door. we're going to build the wall but we're going to have a big beautiful door. we want people to come in, we want people to come in legally. if you look at the polls that come out on the hispanics, the people that are here and have gone through the process, they're here legally, i'm doing great. i'm going to win the hispanic vote, in my opinion. we're going to see what happens. but we have -- i've developed a great relationship with the hispanics for a simple reason. i'm going to create jobs. i'm bringing the jobs back from china.

japan and vietnam. we're losing all of our business. we're losing all of our manufacturing -- >> jimmy: i feel like in a way we should let the mexicans in and kick a lot of americans out. a lot of americans should be kicked out. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what the problem is. >> i'll tell you what. i'll tell you what. we want people that are going to get in there, work, turn the country around, we want to see i think that's going to happen. taxes are going to be reduced for the middle class at a tremendous rate. and business taxes way down. and we're going to make this a very strong and dynamic economy. >> jimmy: you i assume have a group of advisers. >> i do. >> jimmy: you discuss issues with before. i don't know. maybe you go on your own. >> i like to think for myself but i have people. >> jimmy: did anyone try to talk you out of saying, we should temporarily ban muslims from entering the united states? >> well, the word is temporarily. and i have many, many friends who are muslim.

and they actually -- some of them, not all of them i will tell you, some of them aren't so thrilled with what i said. but many of them called me and they said, you know, donald, you're right, we have a problem. there is a problem. >> jimmy: but isn't it unamerican and wrong to discriminate against people based on their religion? [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm forward, but look, we have people coming into our country that are looking to do tremendous harm. you look at the -- look at paris, look at what happened in paris. these people, they did not come from sweden. okay? look at what happened to paris, look at what happened in california with 14 people dead, other people are going to die they're so badly injured. we have a real problem. there's a tremendous hatred out there there. what i want to do, you can't solve a problem until you find out what's the root cause. i want to find out what is the problem, what's going on? it's. temporary. i've had so many people call me and say thank you. if you remember, when i did that a week ago, was bedlam.

watch has night and see people talking. they're saying, trump has a point, we have to get down to the problem. the people that are friends of mine that call, they said, donald, you've done us a tremendous service because we do have a problem and we have to find out -- >> jimmy: those may have been crank calls. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you check the caller i.d.? >> they mean it. we've got to get down to the bottom of it. planes being blown out of the sky. there's bad stuff happening. >> there is a lot of bad stuff. do you think there's any truth to the argument that when you do something like this, when you say something like this, it helps recruiting, it helps isis because it makes people angry? somebody who's muslim and never had any of these thoughts goes, why can't i go to disneyland? >> i really didn't -- this has come up probably two days ago. a couple of people brought this up. i don't buy it. we need strength. >> jimmy: you don't? >> i don't buy that argument. we need strength in this country, we don't have strength. our military is being dissipated.

war. in fact, when i was on your show i said you're going to destabilize the middle east. even though i was a businessman, for whatever reason, i guess i've always gotten a lot of publicity, for whatever reason. if you look in 2004, 2003, a long time ago, i said, don't do iraq, you're going to destabilize the middle east and iran is going to take over the middle east. and somebody else, maybe. the somebody else is isis. they've taken the oil. a lot of it. and iran is taking over iraq. and what have we done? we've spent $3 trillion, thousands of lives, wounded warriors all over the place. and what do we have? we have nothing. so stupid. and now we have to get back to try and figure out what's happening. but you look at what's happened in the middle east. it is a mess. if they did nothing, it would have been much better. >> jimmy: donald trump is here. we'll be right back.

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>> jimmy: donald, poor tom brady

this. on the "daily news" today, brady has no balls. what do you make of this? >> i guess he had a news conference. and he's a very good friend of mine. he's a great guy. this is a great guy and a a champion. he's fantastic. said that the place would go crazy. here, they're tired of getting beaten. team so we have no opinion on any of this. >> tom's a great guy. >> i guess there were some saying he was -- everyone was saying, what about donald trump, what about this, what about that? they had to end the news conference. i want to tell you train is a winner. >> jimmy: are you going to see "star wars"? >> i might. >> jimmy: did you watch any of the "star wars" movies? >> maybe one or two. i'm so busy i don't have a lot of time for this, to be honest. great stuff. >> jimmy: great stuff, okay. >> george lucas, i mean, the whole thing, the job he's done is fantastic. >> jimmy: did you know the screen writer of "back to the future 2" based the character biff on you? >> i like that. where's my cut? i want a cut.

i thought was very funny. your doctor released, as tradition goes, medical reports. >> yeah, i see that. right. >> jimmy: your doctor released your medical report. i'll summarize. to come whom it may concern, i've been the personal fit of mr. donald j. trump since 1980, his laboratory decembers were astonishingly excellent, his physical strength and stamina are extraordinary. if we elected mr. trump, i can state unequestion of question ofcally will be the health i esindividual ever elected to the presidency. >> whoa. [ cheers and applause ] love that. >> jimmy: how do you get a doctor -- >> you know i said, doc, i want to tell you, i'll be the health president ever. and i think i agree. i think he probably took my words and put them down. >> jimmy: by the way -- >> a good doctor. so far a great doctor. >> jimmy: this is his picture on took. this is your doctor. >> wow. >> jimmy: what kind of a doctor is this?

[ laughter ] >> i see a much different look in the office. >> jimmy: do you do your own christmas shopping? >> well, i'm not big for the christmas shopping. i get a few people gifts. >> jimmy: your wife, will you get her a trump robe from the hotel every year? >> that's what i like. i like doing that. i like doing that. no, it's a great time of the year. i love this time, especially in new york, i love this time. >> jimmy: i know you don't like to talk about how much money you have but how much money do you have? >> a lot of people thought that, you know, maybe i wouldn't be as rich or something and i would never file my papers. when you run for president, you're really doing the big exposure. >> jimmy: most people try to down play. >> i don't down play. i filed. everyone said -- because they thought i'd never run because i'd never file, maybe he's not as rich. i filed and the numbers are much much bigger. >> jimmy: you're very, veriry rich. >> it's turned out to be -- it's a great company. i have great assets. i have great everything. >> jimmy: how many books have you written? >> about 12, business sellers. >> jimmy: never a children's book? >> i want to do that. >> jimmy: i would like to make a

that you have, also. so i've ghost written a book that i put your name on. okay? and it's called "winners aren't losers." it's for children. [ cheers and applause ] may i read it to you? >> yes, i like it. i like it. "winners aren't losers" by donald j. trump. winners aren't winners losers, there's winners like me. a loser is a loser, which one will you be? winners do deals and winners get rich while sad little losers just sit there and bitch. >> it would be a bet business seller. >> jimmy: my daughter loves it. the dog is a loser and frankly i pity it. this dog did bad deals. this dog is an idiot. and poor mr. bear he must feel like a loser, valeting that 2006 pt cruiser. this lobster's a loser, throw him in the pot. i like a lobster who doesn't get caught. those losers are failures who

just do what i do and you'll be number one. now here are some frogs i do not like at all. we must kick these frogs out and then build a wall. oh, the places you'll go on your yacht, on your plane, with your suits from milan and your wives from ukraine. oh, the buildings you'd build oh the wealth you'll amass, oh, the people around you all kissing your ass. there are two people kinds of people which one will you be? a loser like them? do you want to finish? or a winner -- >> like me. >> jimmy: donald trump, everybody. thanks for coming. we'll be right back with music from gary clark jr. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel

presented by samsung. [ dog barks ] [ bark ] there it is! [ gasps ] oh no! look, the sky's awake! that. was.

>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i want to thank donald trump and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first the album is called "the story of sonny boy slim." here with the song "grinder,"

well i been thinking too much that i've been thinking too much seems like everyone's talking 'bout money so i've got to get me some my baby's crying so now my baby's crying we always fighting for money

ain't to no way we lying i will not grieve in gold uh people dying for this money but might not be around too long so i'm gone yeah i'm gone yeah oh i'm gone i'm gone i'm gone