Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  April 14, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EDT

11:35 pm
that's it for us. thanks for watching. i'm bill ritter. >> i'm shirleen allicot. jimmy kimmel is next. eyewitness news returns tomorrow with ken and lori. night. and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- chris hemsworth, from "broad city" abbi jacobson
11:36 pm
censorship," and music from anderson paak featuring schoolboy q, with cleto and the cletones -- and now, i've said enough -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. welcome to los angeles. the entertainment capital of the world. you know, we get very caught up in movies and awards shows and all that kind of stuff here in
11:37 pm
city as excited about a single performance as we were last night for a long time. anyone catch kobe's last game? [ cheers and applause ] yeah. the golden state warriors may have set a record for most wins in a soap but kobe bryant pulled one last rabbit out of his hat, 60 points in his farewell game, the most points scored by any player all season long. lakers beat the jazz, a terrible year on the highest possible note. kobe bryant should have retired after every game what is we realized. kobe took 50 shots in the game which i believe was all of them. and he did it in front of a sold-out, star-studded crowd. look at this. >> kobe's got the lakers' last chance. bryant for three. got it!
11:38 pm
wow! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait a minute, how did matt damon get tickets to the game? he's a boston guy. anyway. this is a town with a lot of stars in it. tom cruise and leonardo dicaprio live here but interest in kobe bryant overshadows everyone. so many stories about kobe on the local news, tributes, retrospectives, all fun to watch. my favorite came from kcal who went to newport beach. >> kobe likes to get our special strawberries, we call it kobe style. >> reporter: each of kobe's favorite sweet treats for his wife and two daughters made at wonderland bakery in his hometown newport beach. this superstar and a familiar face from the gym to starbucks in newport coast. his standing order is a skinny
11:39 pm
kobe treats his girls to daddy/daughter dates at happy nails. >> kobe, yeah! >> jimmy: he's going to have plenty of time to get his nails done now, i guess. congratulations. that really was crazy. guillermo, did you watch the game? >> guillermo: yeah, what a great game. >> jimmy: in case you're hearing impaired, that's for basketball. you know it's funny to think that kobe bryant is retiring at the same time that bernie sanders is running for president. even though there's a big primary in new york tuesday, bernie is headed to the vatican tomorrow to make a speech. going all the way to the vatican to make a 15-minute speech and the pope isn't even going to be there. why he's doing this, even people running his campaign don't know. maybe he wants to get in good with god since they'll probably be meeting soon. [ laughter ] but bernie will be out of the country for a bit. but don't worry, his supporters
11:40 pm
cnn this week has been doing town hall events with the republican candidates and their families. so monday they had john kasich, tuesday donald trump, and last night we got to hear about ted cruz's very romantic first date with his wife. >> it was a wonderful dinner. it was a dinner that we talked the whole time. you know, it was -- i got to say, with us it was love at first sight. it really was -- you know, i remember at that dinner i asked her, tell me the history of your family starting with the bird of your grand -- birth of your grandparents. >> jimmy: that is the mark of a sex machine, really is. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] tell me about nana and pop-pop. donald trump has new enemies, several former contestants from his show "the apprentice" are speaking out against him including kwame jackson. i'll tell you, when season one runner-up kwame jackson speaks,
11:41 pm
the former "apprentice" contestants issued a joint statement saying they don't believe trump is "worthy of becoming president of the united states." trump responded very graciously to his credit, he released a statement calling them six failing wannabes and said they should be careful or i'll play hours of footage of them individually praising me. this is great. his "apprentice" contestants turning on him, like the cast of "survivor" deciding to eat jeff probst. why not jeff probst for president? nice guy. he never asked mexico to pay for anything. trump last night was in pittsburgh where he brings up some very unusual topics. >> just so you understand, i went to school in this state, right? we know that right? so i know, i know a lot about pennsylvania and it's great. how's joe paterno? we going to bring that back? how about that whole -- how about that whole deal?
11:42 pm
whole deal? come on, what whole deal? the sandusky deal? either one, maybe skip that topic. you know, yesterday trump met with one of his arch nemeses, megyn kelly. they talked for an hour. in the end they agreed to thut aside their differences and get back to what's important, which angry. kelly spoke about trump on her show, is it just me or is that the feel of one of the forced hostage videos? >> yours truly took a trip over to trump tower on fifth avenue in new york city. there i had a meeting with donald trump. the meeting was at my request and mr. trump was gracious enough to agree to it. we met for about an hour, just the two of us, and had a chance to clear the air. mr. trump and i discussed the possibility of an interview. and i hope we will have news to announce on that soon.
11:43 pm
nice to see them working as a team. this is a sign of the times, i guess. ceo of amc, which is one of the biggest movie theater chains in the world, said they might start letting people text during movies. i guess young people aren't going to the movies because you can't use your phones in there, so they're talking about letting them use their phones in there. pretty soon the only difference between a movie theater and your house will be the soda all over the floor. why? this is like a national forest deciding to allow bottle rockets to be shot off. no texting in theaters was our last remaining unspoken rule as a society. it was no texting in theaters and mcdonald's breakfast ends at 11:00 a.m. and now mcdonald's is serving breakfast all day and nothing makes sense anymore. but not only is amc serious about this, they're already starting to roll out, showing a message in the theater before the movie plays already. >> your feature presentation will begin shortly. we would ask you to silence all cell phones and digital devices.
11:44 pm
so [ bleep ] it, we give up. use your phones. have a loud conversation with your uncle. respond to joann's text about whether or not she should buy those boots. fire up the barbecue. whatever. we're not even going to try to stop you. buy some popcorn. enjoy whatever part of the movie you see. we don't give a [ bleep ]. if you're not going to watch the movie, we'll just tell you the ending. han solo dies. there. now go back to snapchat. amc theaters -- you people are animals. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a fun show tonight. "the huntsman winter's war" chris hemsworth is here, he plays the huntsman. between chris hemsworth and myself, we have earned one sexiest man alive title, back in 2014. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: also with us from "broad city" abbi jacobson and ilana glacier are here. [ cheers and applause ] ? what that is? hear that?
11:45 pm
where that is coming from? it's coming from backstage? let's see what's going on here. oh, there's abby and ilana. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, guys? they can't hear me. can you hear me? >> hey, jimmy. nothing. >> jimmy: what do you mean, nothing? >> nothing. >> jimmy: what does that mean? are you drilling a hole in our wall? >> yeah, yeah. you know what, we are. please, let us just -- >> jimmy: why are you drilling a hole in our wall? >> okay, well, if you must know -- chris hemsworth's dressing room is on the other side of the wall. [ cheers and applause ] >> you know what, we're doing the peephole so we can peep his penis. >> jimmy: you're not allowed to do that, that's against the rules. >> oh, why not? men are constantly drilling peepholes to see women's penises -- >> jimmy: no. >> i think we're flipping the script. it's called empowerment, jimmy. rise up, dude.
11:46 pm
it's illegal. >> shut up. >> every person no matter what the gender in your audience, am i right, people? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wants to see what? >> the penis! say they're not going to be able to see it. i admire your efforts, though. >> okay, can we -- >> we'll see. thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: what is going on? >> [ bleep ]! >> jimmy: what is happening there? oh, look at that. >> hi, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] >> hey, jimmy. >> jimmy: hi. >> i'm glad to hear, i've got to say it's disgusting, offensive and sexist. i'm not going to have any part of it, it's gross. >> jimmy: yes, thank you. >> i did snap some photos of my little brother liam in the shower. there you go. take a look at those.
11:47 pm
>> that works, thank you. >> jimmy: okay, all right, good. thanks. photographs. we'll come back. we're going to take a break. when we come back, we're going to, we think -- you'd think drilling on the other side of the wall. we're going out on the street. we'll test people's emoji iq. plus "this week in unnecessary censorship." stick around, we'll be right [ cheers and applause ] turns out lemon juice doesn't cure pink eye. hi. how are you doing today? that's how i am. red head fred. ultra rare. i collect these too. nah, these are for my dog because he can never decide which one he wants until he gets home, so... american express presents the blue cash everyday card with no annual fee. cash back on purchases. my only concern is that this is where we put food. a dog's foot is cleaner than a human's mouth.
11:48 pm
is it? cleaner than my mouth.
11:49 pm
why do we have aflac... aflac... and major medical? major medical boyyy, yeah! berr, der berrp... i help pay the doctor, ain't that enough for you? there's things major medical doesn't do. aflac! pays cash so we don't have to fret. something families should get! like a safety net! help with food, gas and rent so cover your back, with... a-a-a-a-a-a-a-aflac! learn about one day pay
11:50 pm
11:51 pm
>> jimmy: hi, welcome back.
11:52 pm
from "prod city" on the way. it's coachella weekend. for those not familiar, coachella music festival is a man cat place where you dress like an olsen twin and headlining the festival, for the 17th year in a row, headlining the coachella festival, drugs. actually, guns and roses is the big act this year. [ cheers and applause ] they've not been together a long time. they're scheduled to go on saturday night at 10:30. which means maybe tuesday at around noon. so this is interesting. there's a new study done at university of minnesota where they found people often have very different interpretations of what emojis mean. the study found 25% of the time people did not agree whether an emoji was positive, neutral or negative. in other words, the universal language they call emoji isn't really universal. i have to say it surprised me at first. then we conducted our own experiment.
11:53 pm
people the eggplant emoji, the peach emoji, and a couple of other emojis to see what each one of those meant to each person. here are our admittedly unscientific results. >> what do these emojis mean to you? >> penis. ass. taco. or -- vagina. sex. >> what does this emoji mean to you? >> [ bleep ]. ass. taco tuesday. >> or? >> vagina. finger [ bleep ]ing. >> whoa. i think you mean finger love-making? >> that means -- my wiener.
11:54 pm
>> usually it indicates a penis. >> it's a shaft used for pleasure. >> means eggplant. >> or? >> or a squash. >> or? >> or a -- it's not a pepper, i know that. >> purple pepper? it's an eggplant. >> or? >> i can't say it. my kids will be watching. an eggplant, a purple eggplant. with a green top. that i would like to eat. >> oh my goodness. >> it looks like a [ bleep ]. >> a tomato? >> a butt? >> could be innocent fruit. it also tends to be ass cheeks. >> booty. >> female butt.
11:55 pm
rear-end. >> that makes me hungry, i love tacos. who doesn't? >> oh. well, all right. to each his own. >> taco. but i also know it's not a taco. >> go right and then go through something. >> what can it be? >> anything you want. >> oh, all right. >> pull my finger. >> no, thank you. >> oh, that look like -- like the penis going in the hole. >> a hand? oh -- we're having sex? >> sex. >> sex. >> sex. >> one hand pointing at the other. >> meaning? >> [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: one more thing before we forge ahead. it's thursday night. that means it's time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the the week whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship."
11:56 pm
much as i could. because i didn't want to come out here and completely [ bleep ] it up. which i did like the first five minutes. >> you kind of did. >> no disrespect to kobe, i think everybody understands how great he was. let's be honest, kobe is a guy that [ bleep ]ed a lot. there's not a lot of that want to watch kobe [ bleep ]. >> he [ bleep ] me, [ bleep ] my husband, they're close. >> what you're looking forward to most when you leave office? >> being able to take [ bleep ] outside. >> i won't feel like a true pop culture icon until i [ bleep ] the kardashians. >> would you save us? >> oh, man, i wouldn't want you [ bleep ]ing my [ bleep ] that's for sure. >> we can [ bleep ] so much you may get tired of [ bleep ]ing and you'll say please, please, it's too much [ bleep ]ing, we can't take it anymore. mr. president, it's too much and i'll say, no, it isn't, we have to keep [ bleep ]ing, we have to [ bleep ] more, we're going to [ bleep ] more!
11:57 pm
>> the chicken's going to [ bleep ] in your mouth. >> huh? hot [ bleep ] are you? happy and then he [ bleep ]ed me i felt a sudden tingle when he [ bleep ]ed me [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the show, music from anderson paak, schoolboy q from "broad city" abbi & ilana. stick around for chris hemsworth! [ cheers and applause ] kimmel live" brought to you by hind barbecue sauce. buy great original flavors made
11:58 pm
lease a 2016 lincoln mkx for $399 a month only at your lincoln dealer. the exact moment you know you love a home, you should be able to get approved to buy it. shop kohl's! late friday and early saturday... and get tek-gear for the whole family under $10... tees under $10... and shorts and capris for the whole family under $20! plus, take an extra 15 percent or 20 percent off! you'll get kohl's cash too!
11:59 pm
12:00 am
he say's we should punish women who have abortions. there has to be some form of punishment. that mexicans who come to america are rapists. they're rapists. and that we should ban muslims from coming here at all. total and complete shut down. donald trump say's we can solve americas problems by turning against each other.
tv-commercial
12:01 am
america stand for. with so much at stake, she's the one tough enough to stop trump. hillary clinton.
12:02 am
>> jimmy: hello, there. welcome. tonight from "broad te" on comedy central, abbi jacobson and ilana glazer are here. their album is called "malibu." anderson paak featuring schoolboy q from the samsung stage. next week we have many wonderful guests accepted my e-vite including emily blunt, geena davis, jessica chastain, key and peele, and some of the gang from "silicon valley" and "game of thrones" and we will have music from shinedown, shawn hook, of
12:03 am
so please join us for all that. make no mistake, our first guest is the mighty god of thunder but he's traded his hammer for an axe as the title character in the new movie "the huntsman: winter's war." >> see that? >> jimmy: the huntsman: winter's war" opens in theaters a week from tomorrow. please welcome chris hemsworth!
12:04 am
>> jimmy: a little bird told me you and guillermo did a couple shots together in the green room. >> we did, we were waiting for you back there. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. i have to be able to talk. >> just have subtitles. >> >>. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> the third week of the press tour. >> jimmy: where have you been on the press tour? all over the world? >> i was in australia. went to germany, london, singapore, beijing, hong kong, now here in los angeles. >> jimmy: that's quite a tour. that's unbelievable. >> quite a tour. >> jimmy: is this the end of it? >> this is my last -- this is it. my last chat. >> jimmy: people know you in places like beijing? are you recognized instantly? >> yeah, beijing and then singapore. it's a bit of a -- it's funny. we go to singapore and it kind of gives the false illusion you're a lot more famous than you are. just because you're tall. >> jimmy: i see. yeah. >> and blond.
12:05 am
>> jimmy: you don't blend? >> the hat and the whole thing didn't really matter. i came out of there thinking, fwsing to be huge, the biggest film in the world! >> jimmy: when you travel so much for work like you do, do you only want to stay home when you have vacation? or do you like to travel for vacation as well? >> no -- look, i mean, we kind of -- the house where we live in australia became our -- somewhere that feels like a vacation. we were away so much we sort of chose that spot because it is on the beach and it's beautiful. >> jimmy: right, yeah. >> we still do trips here and there. we did a trip recently to the himalayas. >> jimmy: that's not a little trip. >> no, it's a big trip, yeah. >> jimmy: you took the kids on that trip? >> no, no, just my wife and i. >> jimmy: okay, yeah. your wife is elsa pataki. >> she was doing a travel show for a spanish travel tv program. >> jimmy: oh, really. >> obviously a plus one. >> jimmy: nice. >> kind of along for the ride. >> jimmy: how high up did you go? way up to the top? >> yeah, so we got higher and higher.
12:06 am
meters above sea level. which you acclimate every couple of days. you plant yourself in one place, your body adjusts to that lack of oxygen and so on. then you go higher and higher. have you ever heard of altitude depression? >> jimmy: i've heard -- is it like altitude sickness? >> yeah, which is -- i got that. >> jimmy: you did. >> and basically we went to 2,000 meters then 3,000. and i slowly started to lose my mind. and my wife -- >> jimmy: what does mean? what happened? >> completely irrational. overly sensitive to the most trivial silly things. >> really? >> and elsea's like, what's wrong with you? i'm like, this is ridiculous, what are we doing here, why am i here? we got to 4,000 meters one night. we camped. and it's minus 30 where we're camping, sleeping in rock huts with no windows and so on.
12:07 am
bottle of water outside of your sleeping back, it's frozen by the time you wake up. it has to be tucked in with you. it's freezing. there's dogs everywhere, near the camp where we were saying and the local guides were like, don't give the dogs anything, they have laborbies. >> what a great trip. >> that's what i said. this is supposed to be a fun bonding experience. the toilet is a tent which is 100 feet away, 100 meters, whatever, in the distance, in the dark, in the snow. there's like all i can see when i get the torch out is like sets of eyes barking at me. i've got the shovel trying to work my way through the this goes on. go to the toilet, come back, i'm in my bed, tossing and turning. what's wrong with you? i'm like, i'm fine! my breathing is getting worse. i start to like -- arrgh, darth vader meets daffy duck. she's like, something's wrong with your breathing. i'm fine, leave me alone, this
12:08 am
barking, we shouldn't be here! she ignores me, runs and tells the guards. they took one look at me, get him off the mountain. they start injecting me with all sorts of whatever's going to adjust my oxygen intake and so on, oxygen mask on, and fly down the mountain for eight hours in four-wheel drives. apparently the oxygen in my lungs the next stage was oxygen in my brain. then good night. we wouldn't be sitting here. >> jimmy: you need a new travel agent is what you need. [ laughter ] >> that's what i said. who was monitoring that? >> jimmy: i don't know. are you the only one that got sick? >> yeah, everyone else acclimated as it's called. for some reason -- i couldn't handle it. >> jimmy: maybe because you're so handsome, you know? [ cheers and applause ] it's like you're not meant to be up in the mountains away from others. you're meant to be down amongst the people, bringing joy to theirize. their eyes. that's crazy. >> i'll tell my wife, sgligs
12:09 am
do you speak spanish? >> no, it's terrible. my span irk -- we've been together like six or seven years and it's gotten progressively worse. >> jimmy: it's getting worse, really? >> yeah, in the spanish press tour and so on, they're like, you must speak spanish now. i'm like, i don't. they're like, can you say da da da? and i'm like, no. >> jimmy: i love that spanish sounds like with an australian accent mixed into the spanish. >> it's a blur to me. and this would go on the whole press tour. jessica chastain would be like, no, he doesn't speak spanish, it's embarrassing. >> >> jimmy: they believed her. this movie and a prequel and a sequel all in one? >> a wrap-around as someone described it. not to be mistaken for a reach-around. [ laughter ] that's a whole different type of film. >> jimmy: that's not available? >> not that, no.
12:10 am
>> jimmy: the huntsman -- no reach-around from the huntsman? see. >> jimmy: movie number three. it is a franchise. you've got to keep doing new things. well, i'm glad you're alive. this is a terrible story. trips. >> no, i'm done. >> jimmy: you know what's nice? hawaii. >> or australia. >> jimmy: all-star's dangerous too, everything's dangerous in australia. >> most things you look at will eat you. >> jimmy: yes, exactly. your days are numbered, really, is what i'm trying to say. >> i'll go back and this will be my final appearance. >> jimmy: we'll have a quick reach-around. >> yeah, sure. >> jimmy: very good to see you, "the huntsman: winter's war" opens in theaters a week from tomorrow. please welcome chris hemsworth.
12:11 am
only those who dare drive the world forward. introducing the first-ever cadillac ct6. to those who don't run from mud...but through it. who know it wasn't a day at the beach... unless someone got buried. to the fullbacks... gearheads... and those with green thumbs. to the sticky... the stinky... even those who get a little icky. to all the beautiful mess makers, keep it up... with delta in2ition plus h2okinetic, you can.
12:12 am
straight talk wireless... is the same, but better than your current plan. yeah, it's gonna blow your mind. with the bring your own phone activation kit... you keep your same phone... same 4g lte network... and same number. so what's better? how about paying half as much... with no contract or mystery fees. because straight talk's unlimited plan... is just $45 bucks a month. it's not just better... it's...amazing! stupendous! it's... well, you get the idea. find out more at straighttalkbyop.com what does this have to do with chemistry? this isn't 'advanced figure drawing'? down the hall. you mind if i borrow some of your cologne? confulish. confused and foolish. hunger keeps inventing new problems, so we invented new snickers crisper. just press clean and let roomba help with your everyday messes. a full suite of sensors automatically guides roomba throughout your home.
12:13 am
and with its powerful three-stage cleaning system roomba picks up pet hair, dust and debris for up to 2 hours, recharging itself when it needs to. which means your floors are always clean.
12:14 am
if you had a dollar for every dollar car insurance companies say they'll save you by switching, you'd have like a ton of dollars. but how are they saving you those dollars? a lot of companies might answer "um..." or "no comment". then there's esurance - born online, raised by technology and so whatever they save, you save: hassle, time, paper work, hair tearing out and, yes, especially dollars. that's auto and home insurance for the modern world.
12:15 am
they're one of the wall street banks that triggered the financial meltdown -- goldman sachs. just settled with authorities for their part in the crisis that put seven million out of work and millions out of their homes. how does wall street get away with it? millions in campaign contributions
tv-commercial
12:16 am
our economy works for wall street because it's rigged by wall street. and that's the problem. as long as washington is bought and paid for, we can't build an economy that works for people. sanders: i'm bernie sanders, and i approve this message. >> jimmy: barbecue season is here and it's time to fire it up with texas pit master robert sierra who has partnered with heinz on one of their new barbecue sauces which bring you the real flavors of some of america's best barbecue regions. a lot of people don't realize there are barbecue regions in the united states. >> yes, there's a lot of
12:17 am
we got like memphis, carolina, kansas, texas of course. >> jimmy: what is texas barbecue like? >> texas is more spicy, ketchup-based, then cumin and chili powder. >> jimmy: you stick to that, in texas that's the way you go? >> you try to. you want to have little heat. >> jimmy: if you had to pick a sauce besides texas style, which one do you prefer? look who's eating already by the way. >> they're all good. i like to use memphis and the classic when i'm not using texas. >> jimmy: very good. let's see what you've got here. pork ribs. >> some baby back ribs. >> nice, can i have a little? i guess i have some here. would you mind feeding me like a baby? >> sure. >> jimmy: feed me like a baby, mm, mm. i need a little more. >> guillermo: they taste delicious. >> i need some too. >> jimmy: you eat some too, we'll all eat, we are here, why not? mm, this is delicious. you get all five barbecue sauces, whatever style you like, get them all, have a party what
12:18 am
this is delicious. thank you very much for being here. we'll be right back with abbi jacobson and ilana glazer! sauces.
12:19 am
with the masters. he'll take my arm. when we're walking, rolling and rocking. woo! ooow! at subway, we are excited about our new carved turkey. thick cut, all white meat oven roasted to perfection is something even pilgrims would love. i'll take it to go... the new carved turkey & bacon sandwich. it's "day-after- thanksgiving-good." subway. fresh is what we do. go paperless, don't stress, girl i got the discounts that you need safe driver accident-free everybody put your flaps in the air for me go paperless, don't stress, girl
12:20 am
safe driver accident-free everybody put your flaps in the air for me i can't lip-synch in these conditions. savings oh, yeah give extra. get extra. some people know how to make an entrance. to thrive under pressure. to reject the status quo. and they have no problem passing the competition. the aggressive new 2016 lexus gs 350 and 200 turbo.
12:21 am
oreo thins. a thin twist on the oreo you love. drop that beat. yea we rocking right now. one time...
12:22 am
red lobster's lobsterfest is a party... ...on every plate - and we're about to keep it going. yeah, you've got two more weeks to try the largest variety of lobster dishes of the year... ...like lobster lover's dream... and new dueling lobster tails.
12:23 am
>> jimmy: hi, there, we're back. our next guests started with a low budget web series seven years ago which they watered and it blossomed into a big hit television show called "broad city." it airs wednesdays at 10:00 on comedy central. please welcome abbi jacobson and ilana glazer! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: good to see you. i was wondering what you'd be wearing. last time you both more tuxedos which was nice. >> this is a great bit too, right? >> jimmy: it was classier. >> great fun. >> killing it right now. >> ha ha! >> jimmy: you know it's funny when you do a talk show.
12:24 am
show, that show. >> those tuxes were a shield. >> yes. we were like so -- >> top hats. >> that was ridiculous. >> that was so fun, though. we were so glad you were so down. >> jimmy: i was glad to have you. i'm a big fan of the show. the show is a crazy show. it's not a show for everyone. but for people like me, for instance, it is definitely not a show for everyone. but this is a show -- how would you describe it? nutshell? or is that impossible to do? >> nutshell. >> i'm like, two knuckleheads running around new york high. >> jimmy: high, yes. >> high. high. >> jimmy: and a slight exaggeration of your -- i think you said it was a 15% exaggeration, the characters that you play, which are also named after you. >> weirdly. >> jimmy: what parts are most exaggerated? >> i think it's the differences between us that we amplify. >> jimmy: really? so you're more alike than you
12:25 am
>> yes, yes. also it's like our slutty parts and our high parts. our weed smoking. >> jimmy: i see. >> are blown -- >> how much are they, even? >> i think i'm much more insecure on the show, i hope so, and i make more insecure noises. like -- i stammer all the time. >> jimmy: that is something -- >> really amplified. >> jimmy: that's something that you draw from in your past? or it's just totally made up, not a real part of you? >> i think it's something i feel. i think everyone feels that way. i get to kind of play it more on the show. >> jimmy: there's one episode of the show which i honestly believe this. i said this to her off camera. but kelly ripa was on your show, which was a weird thing. and i really think that if anyone at abc ever sees that, she will be fired from her show. >> you don't think anyone from abc's seen that? >> i went on and talked about it.
12:26 am
even then only the people there in the room saw it. it's impossible. it's so -- it's hysterically funny. >> she hasn't seen it. she insists on not watching it. >> she's like, i can't. >> everyone loves that episode. it's amazing. >> jimmy: it is so shocking and crazy. >> but just like our percentage, you're like -- that's not from nowhere. >> jimmy: you have to wonder. >> that's not from nowhere. it's too inspired. >> jimmy: was that a cough, know knowing cough? >> sorry. >> knowing. >> it's a disease. >> jimmy: a disease cough, good. >> it comes at opportune moments. >> jimmy: i see. i gotcha. all right. you did one scene in a whole foods store. and i know -- i heard the story is that you were not being permitted to shoot in the whole foods store? >> that's right. >> jimmy: it's a big corporate store. >> yes. >> jimmy: you pestered them? >> yeah, we took to twitter. >> not that pestery northerly yy normally but the whole episode would have
12:27 am
going to be funny if it was whole foods. >> you can't fake a whole foods. >> everybody is like, aah! >> the episode is like this -- i kind of ruin part of a whole foods. it had to be that. >> and in that area of brooklyn it's like, there's a whole foods in gawanis? it's over this stinky canal. then it's like whole foods. >> jimmy: a small owe i was sister. >> also, big mistake, that's my whole foods. >> jimmy: that's the one you actually -- >> if i were to go to a whole foods, that's the one. people are like, hi, abby! >> jimmy: you kept tweeting at them until eventually they relented and let you shoot in there. when they did did they read the script? did they know you'd be hallucinating and wandering high through the store? >> they didn't care about that, they cared about us truly naming the price of their honey, the true price. >> we negotiated what we could
12:28 am
>> that's your price. we're not making that up. >> menuca lasts for -- >> how many groceries would have added up to that total? that's what we talked about. they're like, we're accessible. we're like, no, you're amazing. but we love whole foods. >> jimmy: well, yeah, clearly. >> please. they're like going to ban us. >> i love it. >> jimmy: i doubt it. you live this in new york. in new york they do a weird thing with medical marijuana is legal in new york but you have to -- weird thing, you have to have an actual medical reason to get it there. >> yeah. >> jimmy: whereas here in los angeles -- >> everybody's got migraines. >> jimmy: yeah, you can have split ends and you'll get it -- may i ask, where to you get all this pot you seem to be smoking all the time? >> the pot on the show is fake. >> jimmy: i know. >> it's harsh and horrible. >> jimmy: i'm not talking about the show. >> real life? >> i get my pot --
12:29 am
>> you get it from elana. >> i get it from a smul businessman, a restaurateur. >> jimmy: really? >> it's like a whole market. he's so successful. he's got garbage bags of weed. >> jimmy: really? so successful. i'm sure he's delighted that we're talking about this. >> yeah. he's like, [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: do you have -- i know it's comedy central and they allow a lot of the things. do you ever have problems with censors or standards and practices people? >> we do. but we do get support. from our executives. >> it's been awhile. like in the premiere of season two, ilana is really looking at herself in the mirror. really checking herself out. tweezing and checking -- >> vagina. >> yes, thank you. we're on network tv. i'm standard and practicing myself. >> jimmy: you are, you're censoring. let loose.
12:30 am
them to be like ilana's skin tone. >> and we were like -- they've got to be -- >> i've got a beige vagina? i'm an adult, i have hair. hello? >> do i have to look like an adult, blur. blur it out. >> we fought for that. and they fought. >> standards and practices were like, you're right, we will get sued, let's do this! they were so down. but they felt it was reason enough. we were like, these are people with pubic hair. >> in a way you're not just doing a show, you're fighting for civil rights and i applaud that. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's right. >> jimmy: you're like a couple of martin luther kings. >> that's what we say in private. >> jimmy: this show is very funny and i'm happy that you're here. please watch it. "broad city" season 3 finale airs wednesday at 10 on comedy central. and when we return music from anderson paak featuring schoolboy q. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel
12:31 am
12:32 am
>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung.
12:33 am
chris hemsworth, abbi jacobson, ilana glazer and apologize to matt damon we ran out of time. "nightline" is next but first his album is called "malibu." here with the song "am i wrong" with some help from schoolboy q anderson paak and the free nationals! i'm only comin' out to play nothin' more that i hate in this life the wrong impression i only have one to make you can open your palm waiting to catch a break the cards will fall where they may and what about me i believe in fate they wanna know where
12:34 am
what about today what about tonight only one at a time so precious is yours is mine only one at a time my life my life yeah am i wrong to assume if she can't dance then she can't ooh yeah am i wrong to say if she can't dance then she can't ooh hey i never wanna waste your time my life so precious is yours is mine and look at the time my god so precious is
12:35 am
of my life make some noise my life my life smiles around the clock dance around the globe to disco 54 i stare at you in the eyes and spin you on your toes music ain't music without soul feelin' the top row shut the blindfolds pass the nitro rock the love boat get high or get low chill the merlot steady your fast pour you pick up we go low make love once or more we rest then encore do that-that-that break you off in your kit-kat-kat never seen a one this gorgeous pay your whole damn mortgage will you look at the time hey still you the one on the mind hey still you the top of the rhyme hey thank god that it's friday tonight let's be the life of the party it's nothing to me get up and move your feet i never wanna waste your time my life so precious is
12:36 am
and look at the time my god y'all can dance a little if you want, you ready? so precious is yours is mine my life my life your life your life my life my life your life your life your life your life your life
12:37 am
[ cheers and applause ] this is "nightline." >> tonight, trump splitting more than the republican party. >> trump ended their relationship. >> now he's splitting up romances too. couples with trump getting between them. driving some women to declare, vote trump, get dumped. and an ultimatum in the bedroom

707 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on