that's it for us for now. thanks for watching tonight. i'm bill ritter. >> i'm liz cho. jimmy kimmel is coming up next. eyewitness news returns tomorrow morning at 4:30 a.m. for all of us here, have a great night. "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight jessica chastain from "silicon valley,"

and music from "of monsters and men" with "cleto and the cletones." and now, here's jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: thank you very much. thank you to you all for coming. i get why you're in a good mood. today as you may or may not be aware is april 20th known as marijuana enthusiasts throughout the world as 4/20.

continue smoking marijuana. there are a number of differing accounts of why 4/20 came to represent pot. no one is sure why. for a lot of time people thought it was a police code. it's not. people thought it was the number of chemicals. it's not. who would have known, no one can remember how it started. but it's important -- >> applause ]. >> jimmy: 4/20 is also the day hitler was born. make sure you go to the right party is all i'm saying. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i think for the applause, i applaud you for booing hitler. a lot of our viewers are at home right now perhaps celebrating 4 /20. to those who are, i just want you to know that i can see you. that's right. you've always suspected it, and

i'm watching you too while you watch me. you're starting to feel it now, aren't you? it's starting to kick in. it's okay. go with it. let it wash over you. i won't tell anyone. [ scream ] >> jimmy: do you hear screaming? [ scream ] >> jimmy: is it coming from outside your window or inside your head? [ i am deathly inside your head ] >> jimmy: he sounds upset. you know who else is upset? i'll tell you who. all the snacks you ate today are very, very upset. they had lives and families, but you didn't care. you got munghungry and ate them, killed them with youshr munchies. >> you killed us. you killed me too, and now we're going to kill you.

be smoking, should you, you murder. okay, i think that's good. thanks, guys. appreciate it. [ applause ] >> jimmy: anyway, 4 /20 is a very big day for marijuana dispensaries, but other local biszs are trying to get into the action. there's a bowling alley in glendale. they took an interesting approach to the day. say no to drugs, say yes to bowling. i didn't know they were mutually exclusive. 4 /20 is a lot like christmas, but instead of celebrating with your family at home, you vap in your car. it even has its own nativity season. this is a special 4/20 nativity scene.

nelson and miley cyrus. the angel is seth rogen. and then woody halsen and cheech and chong, and then snoop dogg is the newborn king. >> jimmy: donald trump and hillary clinton move closer to a faceoff in the general election. they were the winners in the new york primary by a wide margin. hillary got 58%. trump got more than 60%. i like to envision him looking over the city rubbing his hands together. but the empire state building turned red when trump was declared the winner. i'm guessing out of embarrassment. i don't know why they did that. but trump won 89 of the 95 delegates in new york. this breaks it down from msnbc.

cruz needs 98%, and kasich needs 158%. he really needs to step this up. it was a disappointing night for barnds and ted cruz. in one district cruz lost to ben carson who isn't even running anymore. even when he was running, i'm not sure he knew he was running, but despite his dismal finish in the empire state, cruz tried to rally supporter and further support his legacy as one of the country's great speakers. >> join me on this journey of less talk and more action, real solutions, because i know you. you may have been knocked down. but america has always been best when she is lying down with her back on the mat. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: is ted cruz planning to have sex with america?

>> jimmy: how does that line make i it past the first line of the speech in look out america, the cruz missile is ready to launch and we're all about to get pregnant. here's a -- this is a weird trend that i'm glad has not made its way to the united states. although, it probably will. some prospective parents are hiring professionals to help them name their babies. there's a company based in skits switzerland that charges more than $29,000 to name your baby for you. people who name their company that are going to name your child for $29,000. they should name and feed and buy diapers and pay for the baby's swim lessons. i think it's less crazy to hire someone to raise your baby than to name the baby. if you have to pay someone to name your baby, you probably shouldn't be having a baby, and

happy to name your kid for free. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i'm telling you. for the low cost of $0, i'll use my intuition and expertise. just post a photograph of your baby, newborn, post it anywhere with the hash tag jimmy kimmel name my baby. i'll come up with a great name, i promise, guaranteed. and you're welcome. guillermo, if you have another baby i'm going to name it boner is what i'm going to name it. >> guillermo: sure. whatever you say. >> jimmy: you'll go along with that? >> guillermo: if you pay for the swimming class and everything? >> jimmy: i'd be happy to pay for little boner's everything. [ applause ] >> jimmy: oh, now, okay, we're going to take a break. when we come back, we're not

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>> jimmy: tonight on the show, music from "of monsters and men." >> it's time to play who is high? cousin sal is out on hollywood boulevard with our contestants. >> what's happening? >> jimmy: cousin sal is not smoking.

he does not do anything, so you're perfectly lucid right now. >> i only smoke with huey lewis. >> jimmy: that's true. the way this is going to work is sal is going to bring three pedestrians in. one of them is high. the other two are not high, and my job is to pick out -- it's like a high-q. test. [ applause ] >> we gave them name tags and everything. >> jimmy: our first tria, daniel, leah and brian. >> i'm from rhode island. >> i'm originally from australia but i'm in l.a. now. >> i'm from san diego. let's see. first question, what did you eat for lunch, daniel, we'll start with you. >> um, you know those, the new

well, i think we have a winner. [ applause ] daniel, are you joking? you have to be serious. this is a serious experiment. >> i'm dead serious. >> jimmy: very good. leah, what did you have for lunch today? >> a really bad steak wrap from star bucks. >> jimmy: and brian. >> i had mcdonald's. >> jimmy: brian, do you usually carry your own microphone or was it provided? >> naythey gave it to me. >> jimmy: what did you eat at mcdonald's? >> a mcdouble. you know what i mean? >> jimmy: yes, i do. you ate the store or you had -- >> i just had a mcdouble. >> jimmy: okay. i've never heard of that. all right. so we have daniel with the jolly ranchers. leah had a reasonable lunch and brian doesn't know what he ate today. i am going to guess that --

quick? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. thank you. uh-huh, uh-huh. okay. thank you. and thank you. oh, boy. wow. are we sure it's only one? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. i am going to say that it is brian. brian, i believe you are high. are you? >> norse, sir. >> jimmy: you are not. daniel, it has to be you then. >> tell them? >> yes. [ applause ] >> jimmy: what do we have for him, cousin sal? >> let's give this to daniel.

noodles, and we'll give daniel some visine. >> jimmy: his eyes look pretty clear. that's why i didn't pick him. let's bring in three more contestants. wow. all right. okay. all right. well, look at this crew. all right. we'll start with jason. where are you from? >> idaho. >> jimmy: i see you have a broncos hat on. does that represent -- >> boise state. >> jimmy: okay. boise state broncos. i thought maybe it was colorado. you got the tud on your shirt. what do you do for a radio? >> jimmy: okay. you're a radio guy. what shift? >> midday. that's a good stoner shift. next is whitney. >> i'm from miami. >> jimmy: what do you do for a living? >> i'm an entertainer. >> jimmy: what kind of entertainer? >> i'm an exotic dancer. >> jimmy: oh, you're an exotic

[ applause ] >> jimmy: all right. okay. and when you say exotic dancer, you mean you do -- you take off your clothes? >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, great. all right. all right. and donna, where are you from? >> i'm from rhode island. but i live in riverside. >> jimmy: what do you do for a living? >> i'm a retired flight attendant. >> jimmy: very good. they drug test flight attendants don't they? >> frequently, yes. >> jimmy: but when you're retired they don't continue to do that? >> they do not. >> jimmy: they do not. all right. i have a question here. all right. all right. do you own, any of you own any reptiles? >> two cats. >> my grandson does. he has a snake.

>> i don't have any reptiles. >> jimmy: okay. here's a question. what was the last question i asked? >> who has a reptile? >> yeah. >> who has -- do we have any reptiles? >> jimmy: finally, jason would you mind removing your glasses so i can look at your eyes? the pupils look -- are they bigger or smaller when they're die dilated? i forget which one. bigger. okay. next up, let's see. all right. okay. and finally, okay. i think i know. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm going to guess it's donna. >> no, it is not. >> jimmy: wow.

>> jimmy: whitney, is it you in. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: whitney, we have prizes for all of you. >> donna, you get goldfish crackers. >> jimmy: that's a nice gift. share it with your grandson. >> jason, and then a kaleidoscope for whitney. >> jimmy: you can look at that for hours. thank you all for playing and happy 4/20. tonight on the show music from monsters and men. from "silicon valley," kumail nanjiani is here, and we'll be right back with jessica chastain. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live!" are brought to you by kings hawaiian sweet jalapeo rolls. see the irresistible combination of sweet and heat at kingshawaiian.com/jalapeo.me. and your ford dealer is the place to get into a new ford explorer. explorer's terrain management system easily handles changing road conditions.

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for $289 a month, or get 0% apr for 60 months. >> jimmy: tonight, a very funny guy, from a very funny show, "silicon valley" on hbo, kumail nanjiani is here. then, from reykjavik, which is in iceland -- this is their album. it's called, "beneath the skin," "of monsters and men" from the samsung stage. tomorrow night, keegan-michael key and jordan peele will be here, glen powell will be with us, and we'll have music from "m83." >> jimmy: our first guest is a golden globe-winning, two-time

helped bring down bin laden in "zero dark thirty" but then ruined that by rescuing matt damon in "the martian." she co-stars alongside charlize theron, chris hemsworth, and emily blunt in "the huntsman: winter's war." it opens in theaters friday. please welcome jessica chastain. >> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm very well. um, i just came off this huge press tour for the huntsman, and i brought you a gift. >> jimmy: thank you. that's nice. oh, it's paper. >> yep. >> jimmy: all right. oh? okay. thank you. >> that's from me. and if you could just hold that. >> jimmy: oh, my god.

>> jimmy: wow, what is that? >> that is called dorian. it's the king of fruit in asia. >> jimmy: really? >> can you guys smell it? >> jimmy: this is their king? >> that's their king, and what do you do with this? >> you eat it. >> jimmy: do i need the gloves because it's sharp? >> gloves in case you want to smell like it for the next week? >> jimmy: is it disgusting? >> they call it the blue cheese of fruit. >> jimmy: that's not a good sign. >> i love it, though. >> jimmy: really? >> i love it. it tastes like onions and garlic and avacado kind of like in a custard custard. >> jimmy: is that a prank? >> it's not. i'll getting caughting board. >> jimmy: sorry of monsters and madness. >> all right. it's really thorny.

>> take your hands out of there. i'll be do this myself. >> jimmy: all right. >> well, all right. >> jimmy: am i not doing it right? >> you're doing great. >> jimmy: do i cut down? >> down. wow, you're very strong. >> jimmy: thank you. >> all right, and now you can kind of rip it open. >> jimmy: okay. oh, my god. it's -- it attacked me. it's foul. >> it kind of smells like a garbage can, right? >> jimmy: where did you have this? >> i had this in singapore. >> jimmy: there's the custard. >> and tieland. i snuck it in. it's not allowed in hotels or on subways in thailand, and i snuck it into my hotel when i was shooting the movie in thailand, and e came back to the hotel at the end of the day, and the whole hotel smelled to rank. >> jimmy: like our show is going to smell bad, and is it -- i

little of it first. i don't necessarily -- >> first? >> jimmy: i think this could be a trick. >> it's not a trick. what's the graceful way of eating this on live television? >> jimmy: this is an alien for all i know. >> okay. >> jimmy: okay. oh, my god. you ate a lot of it. [ applause ] >> just put it in your mouth. >> jimmy: this part doesn't smell as bad as the other part. >> shove it in. >> jimmy: the whole thing in my mouth? [ applause ] >> jimmy: it's kind of -- it's on the line between horrible and delicious. it's right on that line. >> i know. the first bite you're kind of like i'm not sure i like this,

>> jimmy: why are we wearing gloves? >> i didn't know if you would like the smell. you can take it off. >> jimmy: i need to put the glove over my face. i feel like throwing up a little bit right now. >> don't throw up. >> jimmy: i think i ate too much of it, though. >> it's really good for you. my guide in beijing told me if you eat too much you get drunk. >> jimmy: guillermo, will you do me a big favor? put this in -- >> guillermo: in your car? >> jimmy: not my car. it's gross. >> you said you liked it. >> jimmy: i mean, it's delicious. thank you. but yeah, baketake these and throw them in the sea or bring them to the superheros outside. they'll love these. thank you. that's a really nice gift. >> yeah, yeah. [ applause ]

well, that is very, very kind of you. where else did you go on that tour? other exotic lands? >> beijing which was so fun. >> jimmy: was it really? >> i love china. i spent a speak at the singapore film festival a year ago and i went back to beijing, and i love the fans there. >> jimmy: they must recognize you instantly when they see you. >> i'm not chris hemsworth or anything. >> jimmy: no one is. let's be honest. >> but they have a nickname for me. >> jimmy: what? >> lady model worker. not a model as in, like, but a model as in a great example of a worker. >> jimmy: why? >> i was like finally someone gets me. [ laughter ] >> i was in china like yes. because i do, like seven films a year. >> jimmy: because you're doing so many movies. >> they call me that and chris's nickname is brother hammer.

>> me too. >> jimmy: mc hammer is going to be furious that was taken. i'd think he wants to be brother hammer. i saw something you were planning to throw a bachelorette party for a girlfriend. were you the maid of honor? >> yes. it's the first time i have been. i'm an absentee friend. because i'm always working. i'm going to throw the bachelorette party to end all bachelorette parties. >> jimmy: did you organize the events? i did. we went to "thunder down under". >> jimmy: did you like it? >> i get embarrassed by stuff like that, but my friend loves it. me loves "magic mike". those are her movies. she loves them. i'm thinking i'm such a good friend. we walked into this theater. i'm thinking it's a review.

folding chairs and tables, and it's kind of smelly a little bit, and then this woman comes over to me and says hello, miss chastain, here's our photographer from getty images, i'm like, i don't want a picture with some stranger's junk in my face on the internet. i panicked, and the lady went backstage and told the strippers to leave me alone. >> jimmy: did they leave you alone? >> they did. they took my friend on stage which she loved, but because i was in the front, there was one stripper who would make eye contact with me while he was dancing, and he was concentrating so hard he took his stung out to be like -- like, you know when guys play video games but, like, dancing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you did not find that e rot snick.

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>> jimmy: jessica chastain. "the huntsman: winter's war" opens in theaters friday. >> that looked like a fun movie to make. >> it was so fun. >> jimmy: had you done one of those fairy tale action type things? >> i do serious films with characters doing a romantic

i am a lady model worker. i wanted to do something really fun, and i don't think i had more fun on a set than this. they're great. emily was here earlier this week, and she said that she was -- >> jimmy: that she was, because, obviously there are no real monsters or anything, so there was a cart and then there was a guy on the cart and she was sitting on the guy on the cart pretending to be riding -- >> and she'd ride it and it would be like that. and she kept saying to me, i feel like i look so stupid. i'm like you look great. you look so strong and tough, and i'm thinking she looks ridiculous. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you have to do anything strange or unfor theable in the film? >> i think the most uncomfortable thing is, and in the movie it seems like a romantic scene, but there's a scene with chris hemsworth and i in a hot spring. we filmed it for eight or nine

have you seen your hand after 30 minutes in a bath? it looks ridiculous. so around hour four i started to look like i was 120 years old. [ laughter ] >> it was not sexy at all. >> jimmy: you became jessica tandy all of a sudden. >> exactly. >> jimmy: but is spending nine hours in the hot tub with chris hemsworth all i imagine it would be? >> and more. >> jimmy: well, very good to see you. thank you for all that. i mean, that wonderful gift. i really feel so much better. guillermo, what did you do with that thing? >> guillermo: i gave it to the super heros. >> jimmy: jessica chastain. "the huntsman: winter's war" opens in theaters friday. we'll be right back with

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>> jimmy: our next guest made his television debut doing

this show in 2009, and that launch into the stratosphere landed on the great show, "silicon valley" - which returns to hbo sunday night after "game of thrones." please welcome kumail nanjiani. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i loved the show last season, and i saw the first episode of this season, and it's really funny. >> i haven't seen it. >> jimmy: that makes me feel so special when the star himself has not seen it. >> i don't love the show. >> jimmy: you don't like the show? >> yeah, i'm like it's nine. no, i love it. >> jimmy: do you get a lot of feedback from people from silicon valley. >> they all think we're making

the way you make fun of all those weird does. i'm like your're the one we're making fun of. my first stand up was on your show. it was so exciting. i lived in new york at the time. and i flew in to do it the night before, and the hotel kicked me out at 11:00 a.m. i couldn't tape this until 4:00. so i went and fell asleep on a bench, and then a security guard woke me up and was like sir, you can't sleep here. i was like i'm doing jimmy kimmel. he's like sure you are. [ laughter ] >> it's true. >> jimmy: things have gone well. you've got a home now. are your parents excited? you were born and raised in pakistan.

you've become a star in america? >> i don't think they really know what i'm fully up to. a couple years ago my dad was like when are you going to go to med school. i was like dad, i was on letterman last week. i think that ship has sailed, and they also, like, i think they talk like hopefully he turns it around one of these days. you know? [ laughter ] ? >> my cousin was in town and like let me buy you a nice hot meal. i was like i can afford food. i'm doing fine. tim i'm doing fine. my parents, i just bought a house and my parents visited. i was like, okay they can stay at my house and see that i'm doing okay. the day they got here was the day that mala won the nobel peace prize, and she's pakistani

you know who's doing great work? malala. >> yeah, we all know. she's doing great. it was the weekend, jimmy, that madison square garden sold out twas twice. they were like how many people is that? i don't know. a lot of people. they're all doing great. there was a girl, i was watching the oscars, there was a girl i went to high school with who won an oscar. it was her second oscar for documentary short subject. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. no, people are like are you the most famous entertainer from pakistan. i was like, i'm not even the most famous entertainer from my high school. two oscars. >> jimmy: wow. growing up there, did you watch american shows? did you have access to that kind of thing? >> yeah. we watched -- we had one

so we would get "night rider" and we would watch. it's a great show. did you watch that? >> jimmy: i did. >> it was a great show. >> jimmy: it was, when i was a kid. >> well, i don't know if it's one you want to revisit now. >> jimmy: i'll look through it. >> we would get movies like you could go rent them. a lot of them were just dudes with a cam corder. there would be a guy fixing his hair in front. so i had of these vhs tapes, and then this is what my parents find out about this. i had a friend whose brother had a lot of porn tapes. people having fun, different combinations. >> jimmy: yes, yeah. >> you want me to -- it's like, imagine the best thing two people can do. that's these movies. [ laughter ] >> i would go and he wouldn't let us borrow any of them, so i would steal them, and i was the

two vcres, and i had a ton of movies, so i would tape my favorite porn scenes in the middle of view es. >> jimmy: like that? >> my dad would be like let's watch "roger rabbit"roger rabbit" again. i'm like no, no. the story takes a hard left turn the way they play patty cake. it's different. >> jimmy: did your parents ever catch you? >> i don't think they did, but what happened was i became the guy who would -- i became like my friend's porn supplier kind of because they could just walk it in and be like it's just jurassic park, no big deal, but there's ten minutes where the action is really great. but the best culmination, the best thing i did with that, jimmy, is do you remember the

i don't mean jim carry with the green face. i mean cher with the big face. >> jimmy: big face. >> how would you describe that? >> jimmy: the big face. that's how i translate. >> that's what it's called. kid with the big face. i give my friend the movie "mask "with porn in the middle. or let me rephrase it. i told him there was porn in the middle. it was a prank. he became the first man in history to watch the movie "mask" in entirety with an erection. >> jimmy: i want to do something quick. i heard you talk about people have trouble with your name. this is for real. we sent some people to starbucks.

>> my dad's name is ajauz, and he says my name is johnny. he always says his name is johnny. >> jimmy: you might want to switch to johnny too. the results were kumal. kumel, comal. >> it's not comal. >> jimmy: what is it? >> that sounds like a great rap name. >> jimmy: kumah. cumare. >> that's a good one. >> jimmy: camel. just camel. >> i feel like even if you don't know my name, you have to know that's the one word that is not my name.

kmale. camille. kumar. >> i get that one a lot. >> jimmy: and this is what i was kimmell. [ applause ] >> oh, my god. can i keep this one? >> jimmy: absolutely. >> jimmy: kumail nanjiani! on hbo. and when we return, music from "of monsters and men." >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live!" concert series is

is that coffee? yea, it's nespresso. i want in. you're ready. get ready to experience a cup above. is that coffee?

>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live!" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i want to thank jessica chastain, kumail nanjiani, and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first, their album is called "beneath the skin." here with the song "wolves without teeth," "of monsters and men." open my chest and colour my spine i'm giving you all i'm giving you all swallow my breath and take what is mine

i'm giving you all i'll be the blood if you'll be the bones i'm giving you all i'm giving you all so lift up my body and lose all control i'm giving you all i'm giving you all you hover like a hummingbird haunt me in my sleep you're sailing from another world sinking in my sea you're feeding on my energy i'm letting go of it she wants it and i run from wolves ooh ooh ohh breathing heavily at my feet and i run from wolves ooh ooh ohh tearing into me

i can see through you we are the same it's perfectly strange you run in my veins how can i keep you inside my lungs i breathe what is yours you breathe what is mine you hover like a hummingbird haunt me in my sleep you're sailing from another world sinking in my sea oh you're feeding on my energy i'm letting go of it she wants it and i run from wolves ooh ooh ooh breathing heavily at my feet and i run from wolves ooh ooh ooh tearing into me without teeth and you can follow

you can follow you can follow me you hover like a hummingbird haunt me in my sleep you're sailing from another world sinking in my sea oh you're feeding on my energy i'm letting go of it she wants it and i run from wolves ooh ooh ooh breathing heavily at my feet and i run from wolves ooh ooh ooh tearing into me without teeth and you can follow you can follow me

you can follow me you can follow you can follow me you can follow you can follow me pushing the limits. >> tonight the astoubding power of the human spirit. model lindsey s had it all and then last everything. >> i knew there was something